Professional Documents
Culture Documents
First edition2017
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Candlewick Press
99 Dover Street
Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
visit us at www.candlewick.com
< 2 >
It is not the best pizza ever. The cheese has turned rubbery
and the crust in the m
iddle is kind of gooey. I down the
whole thing in four minutes and thirty-six seconds.
HeyMan groans, pulls out his wallet, and hands me a
ten-dollar bill.
I grab the tenner with one hand and a slice of HeyMans
sausage-and-mushroom pizza with the other, because Im
still kind of hungry.
Youre a freak. HeyMan puts away his wallet. I
dont get how come youre not, like, huge.
I have this metabolism, Isay.
Yeah, a really freaky metabolism, HeyMan says. I
bet you got a tapeworm a mile long.
I laugh. My phone chirps.
I look at Cyn. Unfolded, she is as tall as mefive
uarterbut folded, she is quite small. She
seven and a q
is like one of those popup campers.
I check my phone.
< 3 >
What? Isay.
I hardly see her thumbs move. Cyn Lees texting skills
are superhuman.
My phone chirps.
Tapeworms
< 4 >
< 5 >
< 6 >
Shakespeare? I guess.
The Three Musketeers, Cyn says. Verbally.
< 7 >
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< 17 >
I dont give the crust to Mal, whos full of potato chips any-
way. I eat the whole thing while I wake up my computer.
There are several alerts, mostly about eating contests. El
Gurgitator won a chicken-wing event in Pennsylvania.
Six pounds of wings in ten minutes. The results were dis-
puted. The second-place finisher claimed that the Gurge
had stuffed several wings down his shirt. Still, the Gurge
won by twenty wings, and I dont see how he could have
concealed that many greasy chicken wings in his shirt,
< 19 >
< 20 >
INVESTMENT OF A LIFETIME!!!
Jooky Garafalos Mortification!!!
Last year, in championship-eater
JOOKY GARAFALOs EPIC BATTLE with
JOEY CHESTNUT at NATHANS FAMOUS
HOT DOG EATING CONTEST,
< 21 >
Opening bid: 50
Number of bids: 0
< 22 >
5 hrs. 18 min.
< 23 >
www.candlewick.com