TVEP for TREDFOR Part I

Jeremiah Nalupta & Alvin Kristopher C. Perlada

Alvin Kristopher C. Perlada

Narrative:

Interviewing the Perlada family was something very intriguing because this gives us the chance to have a
glimpse on what marriage is about, since the Perladas have been married for quite some time now. They
have been already parents, and none of their children are infants or very young anymore, so they basically
almost reach the totality of their roles as parents because most of their children are now actually college
graduates.

We can see now how their relationship started and how theyve come so far as a couple and as a family,
and see what they have to see for future generations.

We started off with the questions and went on from there.

1. How did you two first meet?

-` We met in school. We're classmates in college from 1st year until we graduated

2 Is there still significance to courting in today's times?

-Yes definitely, Courting is a valuable stage in starting a relationship. Its where one could actually get to
know the person you could be potentially spending your life with, so its important you know whatever it
is to know about that person. You wouldnt invest on something if you dont know the details about it.

3. How much has changed with regard to relationships from then and now?

- Except that there are many ways and sophisticated devices (e.g., through Cell phones, SMS, Face Book,
emails, etc) to express or convey the feelings towards each other, however, generally speaking, there's
really nothing much change, as it still the feelings or love for each other that matters the most at the end
of day.

4. How did the marriage proposal go?

-Through Pamanhikan very simple and went smoothly probable because we have been in a relationship
for more than 6 years and the relationship was open and accepted by both sides of the family, the "old
relatives" are more excited and have the big say on the wedding preparations.

5. How was wedding day?

- The wedding was a mixture of joy happiness and anxiety. My husband and I have ulcer and thyroid
cancer respectively at that time, and so our respective families and, friends were worried on how are we
going to live that new chapter of our lives when we have nothing much except for the love we have for
each other and the strong faith in God. But nonetheless, it was a happy and very joyous occasion.
6. What influenced your decision to get married?

- Our health conditions, plus our love for one another and how we wanted each other in our lives despite
the odds

7. Did you always feel that married life is your vocation?

- Not really, I am happy being married, but I also want to be successful in my career and inspire other
people.

8. How did you feel before the wedding day?

- Excited and nervous

9. When did you decide you wanted children?

- When we're planning about the future together even before getting married

10. What is/are the most important aspect(s) in a relationship?

- Love, respect, openness, and make GOD the center of your relationship.

11. Who, in your opinion, has the last say in the household?

My husband has the final say, but there should be discussions with the wife and even with the children
before the final decision is made, as in our case

12. What is the single most important lesson about married life?

- That no matter what, the respect for each other should always be maintained and keep sacred.

13. How was married life during the first few months?

- Happy and adjusting slowly

14. What advice can you give to sustain a marriage?

- Be opened to one another, good or bad, treasure the respect, prioritize and always find quality time for
the family, and let GOD be the center of the marriage

15. What are the roles of the mother and the father in the household?

Mother makes the home, takes care of the budget, father serves as the leader, and provider for the
family, both can discipline the kids. They can do household chores individually or together harmoniously
depending on their mutual understanding.

16. What are the responsibilities of the parents to their children?

- Love, raise them well, educate, inspire, guide and lead them to become not only good children of the
family but the best person they could be in the community.

17. What is the success of a parent?

- To raise and educate them well and see how happy became and successful in marriage and career they
have become, and be an inspiration to other people.

18. What can you advice to the young people who plans to get married?

- Make sure that they both love one another unconditionally, that they keep the respect for one another
and be sure that both are emotionally ready even not that financially stable yet as that can be worked by
both during their married life. Finally, always make GOD as the center of their union.

The interview went by rather quickly and both were not really fazed by the questions, overall we ended
the interview and thanked them for their time.

Reflection:

Based on the interview, we had an insight to what consist of, what leads to and what needs does a
relationship and ultimately marriage possess. People have a myriad of reasons of getting married; money,
family, faith, and several other factors. But above all of that is the love, both for each other and God, who
has given them the chance to meet each other. And somehow, through the times, the significance of
traditional relationship building hasnt been lost as what they said. That even though with the coming of
cellular phones and newer, quicker methods of communication, courting is still a very important aspect in
relationship building.

Seeing as how, theyre currently at 50 and 51 years old now, with 3 kids, in their 20s, theyve been
married for quite a long time now and yet they still feel the need to adjust to one another, because thats
how marriage works. Its a constant adjustment to the significant (and sometimes trivial) changes that
happen to a person. Other aspects such as openness were also a key factor in maintaining a healthy
relationship, and make God the center of the relationship was also added, Faith and religion can be
described as the cement that brings together the relationship. That Love and faith can trump any other
hardship that comes their way.

Though it may sound trivial for some, it is also important to get the family involved, because marriage is
inducting another person in your respective family and joining them and including them in your lives, so
it is very important to have the blessing of the family members and of course each others parents,
because they too worry about the future of their children like you will be in time.

As a parent, the hardships continue, as now they have to endure the harsh realities of taking care of a
human being, and then even more because of the wish to have a big family. As a parent, it is adamant that
the children achieve happiness and success. That is the only benchmark that the couple made for
themselves for parenthood. It is short but never an easy task.

Despite the mortal dangers they possessed (health-wise), they were still able to cope and get through most
of the ailments they had through faith and love for one another. Which needed a massive devotion and
care for each other. Marriage does not often paint a beautiful portrait of life. Its filled with hardships and
trials that they should both overcome. Lastly, it is very important that one should choose the right partner
for such an adamant and daunting task because ones relationship rest upon the capacities they possess,
not necessarily of financial sort, like the couple stated, emotional and mental capacity and the capability
to change and adapt is all you need to have a fruitful and stable relationship.

And that goes hand in hand with the lessons learned from TREDFOR, regarding aspects such as
unconditional love for someone, which was derived from the teachings of Jesus Christ on being a true
Christian. Because there is no other version of love for Christians other than unconditional love, which is
not only shared to your spouse, family and friends but to everybody.

Jeremiah Nalupta