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Copyright Kelsey Diamond and obsessionphrases.com. No

part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form
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retrieval system without permission in writing from the author.

Disclaimer:

This book is written for informational purposes only. The author

has made every effort to make sure the information is complete
and accurate. All attempts have been made to verify
information at the time of this publication and the authors do
not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions, or other
interpretations of the subject matter. The publisher and author
shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or
entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to
be caused directly or indirectly by this book.

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 Table Of Contents

Section 1 - Understanding the Male

Mental Theater................................................................ 19

Section 2 - The Big Secret of Obsession

Phrases......................................................................... 39

Section 3 - The Razzle-Dazzle Phrases ............................. 53

Section 4 - Everlasting Attraction Phases.......................... 66

Section 5 - The Whiz Bang Phrases.................................. 81

Section 6 - Attraction Spinner Phrases ............................. 95

Section 7 - Obey Me Phrases......................................... 109

Section 8 - Emotional Transparency

Phrases....................................................................... 122

Section 9 - Love Cocktail Phrases................................... 133

Section 10 - Mutual Pleasure Phases.............................. 147

Section 11 - The Monstrous Intrigue

Phrases....................................................................... 161

Section 12 - Secret Fantasy Phrases.............................. 175

Section 13 - Permanent Obsession Phrases..................... 187

Section 14- Subconscious Bonding

Phrases....................................................................... 200

Section 15 - Monogamy Awakener

Phrases...................................................................... 211

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Closing Thoughts......................................................... 224

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 Introduction

My name is Kelsey Diamond, and Ive got a story to tell like

most noteworthy stories, it began with hearing the most
ridiculous thing in my entire life.

Have you ever heard something so outlandish that it just makes

you kind of tilt your head like theres water caught in your ear?

This was one of those moments. As helpless as we are to

explain these bizarre moments that defy all rationale or
standard process, we cant help but be left in awe by them.

You may or may not have had one of these moments related to
a friend of yours going through an unexpected relationship
issue the relationship issue may have even been your own.

Whether or not youve had to console a friend struggling with

an inexplicable rough patch in their love life, or experienced
such an abrupt and frustrating situation yourself, you can
probably relate to Melanie.

Melanie, one of my best friends in the entire world, had been

with her boyfriend happily for three years that is, up until the
night that he decided to leave.

She had been going about her day without even the slightest
premonition that anything could be amiss with her love life,
when out of the blue, she found her entire world turned upside
down and shaken violently as carelessly as a bag of potato
chips.

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It was an extraordinarily late hour when the phone rang, the
time of night where the phone only rings if theres some serious
business waiting to be discussed on the other end of the line I
picked up the phone and was immediately blown back by a tidal
wave of torrential emotions that can only be produced by a
woman betrayed.

Melanie was on the other end of the phone, shouting her lungs
off and calling her boyfriend all kinds of nasty names.

She used a lot of different words to describe him, some a lot

less family-friendly than others, but there was one recurring
word that stuck out among all of the rest: pig.

Hes a complete pig, she told me. A big, fat, stinking chunky
pig.

Considering how madly in love she had been with this man, to
hear her using such words to refer to him was more than a little
jarring.

I dont know how long she want on calling him names between
sobs, but by the time it died down, I was confident that the
volume of those insults had just about exceeded every positive
thing that shed ever said about him before she had said
many, many positive things about him in the past.

The volume in her voice seemed to be gaining at an exponential

rate the longer our one-sided conversation went on, and after a
bit of time, it sort of sounded like I was listening to a verbal
nuclear explosion go off in slow motion through the receiver.

To say that Melanie was pissed off wouldnt do enough justice to

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even simply say that it didnt do it justice.

It seemed like she didnt only consider her boyfriend a selfish

jerk without care for anyone other than himself she may as
well have considered him the living embodiment of pure pain,
pestilence and suffering.

When I felt like I could get a word in edgewise, I asked the

safest thing I could think of:

Whats wrong, Melanie? Whats the matter? Care to explain?

She didnt mince any words in her reply.

He left me she said dejectedly.

I had been ready for her to say hed done something on the
level of burning down her family home in an psychopathic or
alcoholic rage, but the fact that hed just casually left her
without warning was even more strange.

They had never shown any signs of turbulence in their

relationship before, which can sometimes be sign of something
explosively bad waiting to happen, but for a couple like them to
just unceremoniously disintegrate without any incident or
fanfare didnt make any real sense.

I had been curious before, and now I was just plain stunned.

The best that I could do to verbalize my shock and dire need for
further exposition was a sincere, What?

Are you seriously telling me that he left you Melanie?

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Yes! He left me. She replied in a very convinced tone.

As she expelled the full brunt of her pain to me, I couldnt help
but be brought back to the same times that Id found myself in
the same position.

I knew all too well what it was like to have the romantic carpet
ripped out from under you and be left sprawling on the ground
with nothing but the emptying sensation of betrayal and wild
outrage.

I wanted to be able to lend advice to her to help her cope, but I

was helpless myself because I didnt have any real details on
the situation yet.

But as she explained things further, I got the biggest shock of

my life.

She told me that not only had he just left her out of nowhere
like a snowstorm in June, but hed even packed his bags and
decided to relocate his entire life into the home of another
woman that he was secretly hanging out with behind Melanies
back.

In fact, he just disappeared overnight and left a stupid little

note to explain the reasoning behind what hed done, or more
accurately, the lack of reasoning.

To put it nicely, he wrote in the letter that he no longer loved

her to be even clearer, he actually went as far as saying that
he had in fact never loved her at all.

Shocked & disturbed by this letter, Melanie felt like she had

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never really known or understood this man at all.

How could he do this to her, she thought?

Simply put, he had made a half-hearted effort at clarifying why

he had decided to leave her out in the cold, but it had only
served to raise even further questions in Melanies head.

But the truth was bitter because the only thing that provided
the most clarity as to what motivated his actions was,
unfortunately, the most upsetting thing of all for Melanie.

And that was this He had been passively cheating on her for
several months.

Can you imagine how much this must have rattled her world?

Melanie was wrestling with the realization that she had

essentially been in an imaginary relationship for months.

But let me tell you the weirdest thing about it all. Melanie was
the TYPE who was on the Hunt Rader of every man out
there. Every man hungered to possess her, capture her and do
anything in the world to be with her.

When we were younger, Melanie was the type of friend that you
always have to look to with equal amounts of jealously and
admiration when it comes to physical health.

She seemed to have a supernatural ability to stay at peak

human fitness despite eating everything the rest of us try and
fail at reserving to once a week, and on top of that, her skin
was flawless.

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She had an infectious laugh, a more-than-respectable career,
and an intimidatingly sharp wit more than a few guys had
found it too intimidating after just one or two dates.

And once she met this guy, my best friend Melanie who was the
shameless demigoddess, assumed the form of a giggling
schoolgirl.

He was shorter, overweight, and would make an eraser head

look sharp, but along with all of these things, he was the
master of making her smile and fret eventually, he would
prove himself the master of her tears as well.

But! Melanie was in fact way too good for this man and
everyone had been telling her that all along including me.

They were that sort of a couple where people would look at

them and wonder What did this man have to do to have a
gorgeous woman like that by his side.

Even our mutual friends usually had the same reaction when
they saw Melanie and that man together in public: How did a
guy like him actually end up with a woman as beautiful as
that?

Plain and simple, even her boyfriend knew that he was

massively lucky to have someone like Melanie in his life.

But they definitely had the right kind of understanding required

to make a relationship thrive. They had the chemistry and the
stability to stay with one another for longer than some people
are even capable of remaining married.

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At the end of the day, in spite of what people would perceive as
their physical attractiveness imbalance, there was no doubting
that it appeared as if they had that something that could make
it work.

Okay, now coming back to the subject at hand

Over the next few days, Melanie got back in touch with me with
some really disturbing details.

She extracted a lot of information on this new mystery woman

who had stolen her beloved boyfriend and the details were
shocking.

Why was it shocking you ask? Well, because this so called

mystery woman

Didnt look that remarkable, didnt have the stability Melanie

offered & was going through many issues which are too messy
to describe in one book.

The first thing to understand is the most visible aspect this

woman was not more attractive than Melanie by any stretch of
the imagination.

When I finally got a look at her, I immediately came to

conclusion that she was decidedly the most plain-looking
woman Id seen in a very long time.

Despite being nothing close to a head-turner, she had managed

to turn Melanies boyfriends head far enough away from
Melanie to capture him completely within her field.

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At this point you might be thinking that the critical factor must
have been some kind of personality trait the woman possessed
that won out in the end, but not even this was the case.

As a matter of fact, from that Melanie told me, this plain-

looking womans personality was messy, unpredictable and she
was known to have DRAMA ISSUES.

The more I heard, the more it started to sound like this woman
had actually made it mission to see just how many undesirable
traits she could rack up and still be capable of stealing another
womans man away.

This woman had the deadly trifecta of moodiness,

unpredictability, and a string of past broken relationships that
had all ended similarly and badly.

I thought that getting more information about the woman that

stole Melanies man away would make things just a tad bit
easier to understand, but instead, it seemed as though the
more I learned, the more confusing things got.

But after many years of research, I was finally able to identify

the core psychological components that contained the answer to
every relationship issue.

And that is something which has inspired me to write this book

for you.

All this time Melanie and I couldnt quite put a finger on why
her boyfriend would leave a completely secure, successful and
pleasurable relationship for a woman who was completely
messed up and not even as attractive as Melanie.

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But after my research I discovered the truth and it was this
Feelings dont have eyes! They dont occur based on what a
person looks like.

So the false idea that this Mystery Woman wasnt as attractive

as Melanie went straight out of the window & into the trash can
because in reality, looks dont count that much to a man.

When it comes to feelings, the things that can actually be

physically observed are not as relevant as people think
contrary to what we may like to believe, feelings do not have
eyes.

The phrase love is blind may be clich, but its clich for no
other reason than the fact that its based in truth.

Attraction is blind too.

No matter how much we might train ourselves to deny the

truth, we simply cant ever consciously choose who we are
attracted to on the opposite side of the same coin, we cant
force ourselves to not be attracted to a person either, even if we
make every effort to ensure that we dont.

Now to be completely honest, physical looks are a factor when

it comes to the degree to which another person can attract us
or the degree to which we can attract another person.

The issue with this line of thought, however, is that people

severely overestimate the impact of looks alone.

While looks do have a measurable effect on the art of

attraction, the true effect of those looks is only about five

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percent.

The other ninety-fivepercent of attraction that we have to

concern ourselves with, which most people make the mistake of
overlooking, is communication.

Believe it or not, our words and the ways we deliver them have
the kind of weight that simply looking good cant hold a candle
to beyond a first impression.

When I got to thinking about how important genuine

communication is when it comes to creating a relationship that
can legitimately last, the truth behind what had spelled the
death of Melanies relationship became much clearer than it had
been before.

The way that the mystery woman had been able to steal away
Melanies man had absolutely nothing to do with anything about
her physical appearance in the slightest that would be the
ideally easy explanation, but in truth, there was something
much more intimate at work behind the scenes.

What had really attracted Melanies man to the mystery woman

was actually nothing more than the way she had been able to
communicate with the man.

Melanie, as can be testified by many people other than myself,

was the kind of woman that you could see just about any man
giving more than an arm and leg to be with. But these personal
qualities, however, only ever really go so far.

Physical looks can only do so much for you, but, the way that
you communicate carries massive amount of importance.

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Here is what I further discovered in my research

With just the right word uttered at the right time, a chemical
process takes place in the male mind which can make him find
a woman 10 to 20 times more attractive than she currently is.

Very few women recognize just how powerful this chemical

reaction can be, and yet at the same time, it affects almost
every one of us, every single day.

Melanie may have grabbed her mans attention once with her
charming personality and amazing looks, but that still wasnt
enough to prevent this man from getting attracted to someone
else.

As weird as this sounds, we live in a society which is obsessed

with Physical Attraction but no one ever talks about Verbal
Attraction.

Honestly, here is my personal promise to you

If you can learn how to master the art of using words to trigger
attraction, youll be able to stand head over shoulders above
other women who dont have a clue of how effective such a
method can be.

Lets just take a look at how many seemingly perfect

relationships that gorgeous women like Melanie get involved in
that wind up dissolving out of nowhere if looks alone were
enough to cement loyalty, wouldnt these sudden breakups
happen a lot less often?

We all want to be loved by the men of our dreams, but

unfortunately, a lot of us end up resorting to a temporary
solution to lifelong matter looking good will only get you so

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far.

I cant tell you how many other women Ive counseled who
have wound up getting themselves set up for failure by
committing based on a momentary infatuation that mistook for
the real deal.

When I realized these secrets, I finally understood how Melanie

had fallen for a guy who seemed so outwardly low on the shelf
as the man who left her it was the impact of his words that
set her up on the wild ride to abandonment.

You dont need to be in a relationship to savor the benefits of

just being a physically attractive catch, but if you want to the
benefits of legitimate commitment, youve got to be able to
make impact on a level that transcends beyond what can be
surveyed with the eyes.

Now while using the power of words can certainly help you get
a leg up on the competition, the power of this technique also
makes apparent the massive potential there is to screw your
chances if you use your words poorly.

Heres the ironic thing about human communication while its

something that colors just about every aspect of our modern
lives, every second of the day, lots of us are spectacularly bad
at accurately expressing how we feel when people say certain
things in passing.

How often have you ever been offended by a person but smiled
through your teeth to keep things from seeming awkward for
everyone around you? Even if you dont do that yourself, its
how most people compensate for not being emotionally
transparent, which in some scenarios, can be downright
practical.

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Knowing this, its imperative to understand that everything you
say to a man can have massive effects that go completely
unseen on the surface, sometimes without even so much as a
facial twitch.

With how subtle and powerful your words can be, accepting the
influential power of words endows you with both extreme
capability and also extreme responsibility play the game
correctly and youll get everything you wanted, but neglect the
vital signs and youll be left sitting out in the cold in no time.

As a disclaimer, Ive got to let you know that this book will only
be as effective as your motivation to honestly apply everything
that you take away from it.

If you can make a honest and unshakeable pledge to genuinely

absorb and emanate the sentiment of what I share with you
here in this book, it will almost feel as though youve been
transported to an entirely new dimension of your love life.

Something else thats vital to take away from this is the equally
powerful twinborn partner of words action.

Words set the stage for success before show time, and after
that, your actions will bring forth the full power of what youve
set into place. Make sure to honestly apply everything you learn
here with as much consistent action as you can, and youll be
on your way to easy street in no time flat.

Melanie hadnt explicitly done any one thing wrong, but in truth,
it was what she didnt do that spelled trouble for her in the end.

She never took into account that communication with her

partner could shed light on the status of her relationship in a
way that easily discernible outward confirmations of romance
never actually could, and because of that, she wound up getting
caught off-guard in the most undesirable sort of way.

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Its not to say that communication alone is going to make an
inherently destructive relationship suddenly work, but noticing
the power it has to influence the chemistry of you and your
partner will enlighten you to all kinds of other signs that things
may or may not be slipping out of the safe zone.

You will become attuned to the signs that your partner may be
seeking out a deeper connection with someone else, which is an
absolutely invaluable security measure. Now that weve covered
the basic foundation for what youre going to be learning, its
time to get down to the first chapter!

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 Chapter 1 Understanding the Male Mental
Theater.

In my line of work, Ive coached a small group of women who

are each in need of the answer to a very understandable
question that millions of women across the country have
probably asked themselves at one point or another:

How is it possible for simple words to make a man

actually fall in love with someone?

Some of these women even wonder what makes simple words

capable of swaying the feelings of man to make him like them
even more than he does at the current point in time (or
doesnt).

The answer to this question can be found in the bare bones

makeup of human psychology.

You dont need to be a licensed neurologist in order to

understand the basic principles that make the human brain
especially susceptible to being influenced by the spoken word.

Before were even familiar with what words even are,our

perspective of the world around us is being molded by
constantly hearing them.

We learn to use words as mediators between what we desire

and what we can feasibly achieve, based in part on the people
around us who are also pursuing and expressing their own
interests with words.

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Knowing how deeply ingrained the power of words are in the
foundation of all of our vastly different societies, our status as
the human race, and as members of the animal kingdom, it
should come as no surprise how powerful words can be in the
world of romance.

Heres one of the most important things that you need to

understand about how words are able to leave a lasting impact
on the minds of people who hear them:
The auditory element of hearing is only a means to an end, but
whats most important is the image that the sounds of the
words create when you process the meaning itself.

In short, every time you hear a word, your mind turns that
word into a mental image which you see in the theatre of your
brain.

People oftentimes make the mistake of thinking that its the

tone of the words that we speak or the way in which we deliver
them that has all of the importance, but thats really only
scratching the surface of the complete truth.

The cause of the importance of things like tone and delivery is

where we must direct the full extent of our attention, and that
cause is related to images.

Two identical phrases, simply uttered in subtly different ways,

can create entirely different mental images for the person that
those phrases are directed towards.

Think about what the purpose of the first page of a newspaper

is its to catch your attention as effectively as possible with
three things:

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 1. Heavily-emboldened font
2. A significantly blown-up picture
3. Hard-hitting words.

These three elements all share something in common in how

effectively they can command your attention when youre
presented with them each of them are made to appeal to the
parts of your brain that process images.

The dark font and significant size of the headline text

immediately catches your eye, the heavily emphasized photo
sends you right into the heart of the action, the imagery of the
strong words increases the level of immersion into the content.

For the sake of only getting you to read something, the front
page of the newspaper attacks your image-processing faculties
from multiple angles simultaneously this is done for a reason
that hasnt changed since the dawn of man.

Our ability to perceive the world around us and construct

hypothetical situations before we act is based on creating
images.

When you know that the cognitive process of developing a

mental narrative is based on the construction of and immersion
within images, you can understand whats happening on a
molecular level any time that youre conversing with another
human being its a constant flow of imagined visual stimuli.

In simple terms, every conversation you have with another

human being is an exchange of mental images.

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Now lets just imagine that were having a conversation, and
eventually I mention that I took my dog to the park for a walk.

Pause and think about that for a minute.

After you heard that sentence, what happened?

Did the line, I went to the park today to walk my dog flash in
your mind as soon as I finished the sentence, or a little bit
before that?

Or did you actually envision a literal park in your mind that I

could walk through with a dog on a leash?

If youre like most people, then you didnt literally envision the
words I went to the park today to walk my dog sliding across
an empty space in your mind.

The way that our brains can visually consolidate what isnt
immediately observable is why we can accurately describe it as
an image-processing machine.

The beautiful thing about this image-processing machine in our

heads is that it essentially operates on autopilot.

When youre engaging in small talk with a cute guy that you
just met in the coffee shop, everything that youre saying to
one another is creating an image that gives you a hypothetical
representation of what each others lives are like this forms
the basis for a more significant level of attraction than what
appearances alone can do.

After youve just had a lively five minute conversation with the

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cute guy at the coffee shop, the volume of mental images that
were exchanged between the two of you could potentially
compose a mental narrative that could fill half of an entire epic
novel.

You may not even be consciously aware of all of the vivid

images that manifest in your mind from hearing just a few
simple sentences uttered in a particular way.

But you see, thats just the initial step.

Once you hear something and see a mental image of it, your
mind then respond with adequate Emotions & Feelings in
response to that mental image.

When the emotion is created, the third stage of word-image

processing begins: our brain releases a surge of chemicals that
send off alarm systems in the body propelling us to take action.

The emotions that you experience when youre talking to a guy

that youre really interested in are literally signs from your body
that are telling you, Hey! Whatever this guy is doing to you
right now, I like it! Get more of it!

So if I say to you I was crossing the street and had this car
rushing to meet me at 100 miles per hour, what happens
mentally?

Chances are that you imagined a car coming to meet you at one
hundred miles per hour, and though it may not necessarily be
an overwhelming feeling, you might have gotten twinges of
slight fear as a response.

On a slightly less dramatic scale, lets look at the times when

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someone says something to you that just rubs you the wrong
way. Have you ever really thought of what it means for
someone to be rubbed the wrong way?

Being rubbed the wrong way means that even though there
may not be an immediate or objective explanation for it,
something about what was communicated created an
unpleasant sensation.

In essence, what has happened with these phrases that rubbed

us the wrong way is that a negative image was presented to our
brains when the words were processed, and it may be formed
based on past experiences or personal feelings.

Even though the words may not have been intended as insulting
or even objectively negative, at the end of the day, only the
image summoned in the mind of the listener matters.

Once again, in simpler terms, certain words have more of an

emotional impact than others and thats exactly what youll
learn when I share my Obsession Phrases with you.

However, before I get to all that, I need to further explain that

in our studies of somatosensory sensation (how our body
responds to stimuli), we have discovered that different
emotions actually do physically register in different areas in the
body when youre experiencing them.

When youre experiencing fear, that uncertainty will literally be

creating a tugging sensation in the middle your chest or in the
lowest pit of your belly.

Understanding this, it may make a little bit more sense that

words could have as much influence over a person as Im telling

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you they do.

When words summon strong emotions in the people who are

experiencing them, theyre not just being heard or felt they
are literally acting upon the persons biology in a quantifiable,
scientifically-observable way.

So, here is the most important thing I am trying to

convey with all this scientific explanation

The stronger the image that gets created by the words that are
spoken, the more intense the somatosensory experience of
hearing them is going to be.

A person could feel fear, desire & even love based on how
powerful your words are.

Now do you understand where Im going with this?

When it comes to falling in love, theres always the concept of

fantasy that has kept us entrenched in the ebbs and flows of
endlessly-repeating love stories since the dawn of storytelling.

These ideas of the people were getting to know for the first
time, and the dreams of doing all sorts of hypothetical things
with them in the future, all of these things are the exact kind of
mental images that weve been going over thus far.

Its not really so complicated when you break it down to this

golden and stupidly simple rule: good images are good, and
bad images are bad not exactly the head-scratcher of the
century, is it?

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Despite fact of how amazingly simple this is, you wouldnt
believe how many women dont even have the faintest shred of
understanding about just how incredibly powerful mental
images are.

Because most women usually stick to most basic words & dont
know how to add more punch to their conversations.

Without even having the slightest clue of how badly theyre

sabotaging themselves, they use no end of weak and negative
words that create no emotional impact on a mans mind at best.

And consequently, they arent able to get the desired result

from their man.

In fact, here is the kicker

Sometimes a woman who thinks shes giving off all of the right
signs could actually be creating an incredibly unpleasant impact
without having any idea about it whatsoever.

Now its not to say that none of these clueless women are ever
able to get into stable relationships quite the contrary.

The problem is however, that these women struggle day in and

day out to get what they want from their man.

Since they fail to take note of the subtle but powerful effects of
their own words, theirs is a life of endless confusion and
struggles with relationship issues that appear to have come
completely out of left field, without warning.

If you can learn how to see past the smallness of individual

26
words and phrases and recognize how some words can get you
literally anything you want from a man

Youll have slightly better protection against getting blindsided

by unexpected inconsistencies in the ways that a man acts
around you.

Lets just look at it is this way: consider the impact that

marketing has in the first world. The concept of buying and
selling encapsulates our society so completely that its what
many people identify as the foundation of their entire reality.

Now consider the fact that simple words, and words alone,
carry the power to sell a product.

With nothing more than words creating an image in your mind

relevant to the use of the product, you are compelled to go out
and exchange a real piece of your livelihood for the chance of
realizing that hypothetical experience relating to the product in
your mind.

We could spend many days breaking into psychological

consumer complexities, but thats for another day.
At this point, you now understand the key basics of how words
function in our communicative world.

You know how words trigger certain images and feelings in our
minds to construct a vivid mental narrative that frames our
grasp on reality and the people around us.

So how do you use this basic knowledge in regards to

men and making them fall in love?

27
It is now that were going to start putting together the most
important part of the puzzle.

Are you ready?

The best way that you can get a man to love you to the point of
just about worshipping you is by using special kinds of words
that can fulfill some of his deepest desires.

The kinds of desires that youll be tapping into will be sort that
he goes through most of his day having largely unfulfilled, due
to how much he probably keeps them under wraps on a daily
basis.

Lets get this out of the way before we go any further:

But when I say Deepest Male Desires, some of you ladies are
probably thinking that you already have the answer.

Some of you might being thinking, Oh! Sex, obviously! I

already knew that before I started reading this.

Heres the deal: that line of thinking is only a little bit right, but
mostly off-base. Sex does account for a part of the equation,
but in the grand scheme of things, its only useful for solving
about one percent of the entire puzzle.

When youre ready to start working on the other ninety-nine

percent of the puzzle, youre going to have to move on past the
sex aspect.

Now before we break down into the meat of what I want to

share with you here today, weve got to make sure that

28
something is understood before moving on even a step further.

We have to outline what the truth of the matter is with women

who are only desired by their men for sex and little else.

The truth is that when a man desires you for nothing other than
what you can offer him sexually, it means that at some point,
you were not able to fulfill him in some department of his
desires.

Now that may not be something youd like to hear, but I urge
you to not take personal offense to it it doesnt always mean
that it was your fault.

In sharing with you what I am about to reveal, youre going to

know how to properly gauge a mans desires before getting in
too deep to understand exactly what it is that hes interested in
experiencing with you.

When you fully understand what a man desires from you, you
will be much more capable of getting into the kind of
relationship in which you will realistically be able to have mutual
satisfaction with a man who is right for you.

Now before we get too off-topic, lets return to the concept of

the ninety-nine percent that I mentioned earlier, with sex
composing only the remaining one percent.

The ninety-nine percent is what ninety-nine percent of women

completely miss.

The thing swooping under these womens radars is the nature of

what their words have to be communicating in order to create
positive mental images for their men that are congruent with

29
their desires, and that is what Im going to help you with here
today.

So taking sex off the picture, here are some of the most vital
male desires you must be aware of before you star using my
Obsession Phrases.

The first desire that youve got to nail down is the desire for
approval.

Male Desire Number One He Needs Your Approval and

Validation

Have you ever heard something to the effect of, everyone is

walking around with an empty cup and expecting someone else
to fill it?

Believe it or not, this saying is extremely true when it comes to

even the most independent men in our lives.

Approval and comfort are what they desire from women in

general.

A man will build an entire empire to hide this fact inside of, but
at the same time, he is helpless to escape the fact that does
desire to feel validated.

The man, no matter how secure and cool and confident he

appears, is in constant search of something in the form of
approval.

He desires the validation because all of us, as human beings,

are intrinsically validation-seeking beings.

30
Every man is seeking out some form of approval from a female
figure from an early stage in childhood, and oftentimes, it
begins with the mother.

Everything we do is, in a way, based on seeking out positive

reinforcement through the things that we enjoy.

Just like you probably have, Ive heard a lot in my life about
how it is selfish to seek out validation from others and how the
best thing to do is to make sure that were always secure
enough in our own skin to be content without anyones approval
at all.

Even though it may be unhealthy to need approval on the same

level that an addict seeks out their fix through alcohol or
nicotine or painkillers, simply desiring some form of approval is
completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

Men crave approval from women to the degree that you likely
have several men right now who want to feel like heroes in
front of you.

The man wants you to be grateful for the fact that he is a

constant presence in your life, and for that to happen, he needs
you to have an honest understanding of who and what he is.

After you understand exactly what it is that defines him and

how much he wants you to desire him, your choice is whether
or not you make an attempt at fulfilling that desire yourself.

If you can fulfill all of his desires to feel needed and

appreciated, hes going to feel like the two of you are
legitimately meant for one another.

31
Hes going to want to seek you out due to the fact that you give
him a feeling that no other woman can manage.

Now lets move onto the second desire that needs to be

fulfilled

Male Desire Number Two He wants you to

unconditionally respect him

Now this is far from being the easiest thing to do, but if you can
pull it off, youll be accomplishing something that a lot of
women really tend to struggle with accepting.

If you want to fulfill this desire, then the only way to do it is to

see your man as someone who is truly deserving of
unconditional respect.
Because so many women wind up getting into relationships with
men who are not worthy of respect, however, this can be a very
difficult subject to explain with them.

Unconditional respect is not only impossible if your man

objectively doesnt deserve it, but also if you dont even truly
believe that your man actually deserves the respect in the very
first place.

Be aware that there is a very good reason that I chose to use

the term unconditional respect. To just about every man that
you can imagine, respect is the single most valuable thing.

In a world where were scarcely able to unconditionally hold

onto our own belongings or the people closest to us,
unconditional self-respect is one of the few things that a lot of
men feel some sense of security in owning, and they like people

32
around them to acknowledge that.

The universal inner desire for respect makes it so that the very
moment you acknowledge his effort, hes going to respond
positively. If you acknowledge him consistently enough, then
eventually, its possible for him to return it with love.

If your man doesnt feel respected at all, though, then clearly

the two of you are going to have some serious challenges. If he
feels outright disrespected by you, then all of his attraction,
attention and feelings of desire for you are going to hit the
ground before you know it.

As respect is one of the principal things that a man holds dear,

there are few things that he despises more than the feeling of
being disrespected. Whats more is that you will rarely ever
actually have a man overtly verbalize when he feels that youve
disrespected him.

Chances are that if a man really feels like youve disrespected

him, what hes most likely to do is actually just slowly break off
contact until hes completely absent.

If you arent attentive enough, you wont have any idea where
things went wrong when hes completely withdrawn.

Now that you know how to avoid the worst case scenario by
making sure to maintain a consistent level of respect, its time
to move onto the third key point.

Male Desire Number Three Raising a Mans Emotional

Temperature

When it comes to maintaining a steady and powerful

33
relationship with a man over an extended period of time, you
can consider it like keeping a small flame fanned and active.

If you fan it too hard, it will die out, but neglecting to tend to it
will make it lose its luster as well. Were going to refer to this as
raising a mans emotional temperature, and by extension, the
art of maintaining it as well.

To put it in the simplest terms, you have to learn how to tune

up all of the latent emotions that your man experiences when
youre in his presence. The greater that his emotional intensity
is when hes around you, the more intense the physiological
symptoms will be in turn.

When his emotions are legitimately clawing at him from the

inside to make him think about you on a consistent basis, hes
going to be desiring your presence on a level that transcends
what is purely emotional and legitimately approaches physical
symptomology.

You are literally going to become a kind of fix that he seeks in

order to feel more at ease.

In order to even reach the point of having your man actually

want you to this degree, youve got to raise his emotional
temperature to the point of no return.

All of the feelings that are conducive to attraction are going to

be over clocked, and when this happens, youve essentially got
the system working in your favor on autopilot.

Its going to be such a powerful effect that he himself may not

even be fully aware of why hes as attracted to you as he is, but
there will be no denying that hell be consumed by an

34
unshakeable and mysterious magnetism towards you.

Essentially, there are going to be three key events that occur

after his emotional temperature has reached a serious boiling
point:

1. He will Find Himself in the Zone of Consistent

Attraction

Simply by raising the emotional temperature to optimal levels,

youve left a legitimate carbon footprint on his physiological
composition.

Hes going to feel a level of attraction to you ingrained so

squarely and deeply in his heart that it will feel to him like his
soul is legitimately dancing in excitement at the simple prospect
of being able to spend more time with you in the near future.

Whenever he thinks about you, hes going to feel the

inescapable tug of his feelings towards you in the pit of his
stomach.

Youll notice that when he actually sees you, hell be exhibiting

signs of wanting to be physically closer to you if its at all
possible.

Hes going to be experiencing ripples of immense comfort

around you and the concept of your person, and when this
happens, hes going to be both relaxed and anxious it will be
the dual effect of a simultaneous push and pull that both work
to bring him closer to your position.

2. He Will Feel Emotionally Safe in Your Presence

35
You may or may not be aware of it, but just the concept of
emotionality is a very touchy thing for the average man to
come to terms with.

While it doesnt mean that hell actually feel things less, it

means hes got to deal with the pressure of not revealing his
susceptibility to emotional fluctuations too often, lest he
compromise the masculine image society holds him to.

When youve personally raised up the emotional temperature to

a suitable level, however, you will have managed to become a
legitimate emotional safe zone for him that he can go to
without fear of being judged or insulted.

All in all, your presence is going to summon within him an

extraordinary amount of relief and safety that hell find
particularly valuable in his everyday life.

Whenever he knows that youre nearby, hell feel relief from the
cloud of uneasiness that may have formerly shrouded him any
time that he thought about the horror stories and sacrifices of
commitment.

You absolutely cannot neglect to understand just how much

men value their personal freedoms.

Freedom is probably one of the few thing that come close to

respect when it comes to what a man values among all things in
general, and when he senses that a life with you isnt going to
stifle or restrict him, hell be a lot more at ease with you than
most other women.

Number Three He Will Not Grow Bored

36
Men hate monotony as much as they love the feeling of
freedom, and so naturally, their worst nightmare is to feel like
theyre trapped in a boring life spent with a woman who drains
all of the high-octane pleasure and spontaneity out of his
existence.

When youre able to summon intense physiological symptoms

within him that raise his heart rate, you can guarantee that he
wont feel the slightest thing resembling boredom when it
comes to your presence.

Youll be able to raise his emotional temperature so effectively

that it will actually seem nearly impossible for him to be bored
in your presence, because he will have essentially been
psychologically conditioned to be excited at the prospect of
spending time with you whenever possible.

Putting it All Together

You now understand the three crucial keys to raising a mans

emotional temperature to a boiling point.

1. Hes going to feel like he has the freedom to be emotionally

uninhibited with you, in stark contrast to how he has to conduct
himself in everyday settings.

2. Hes going to feel emotionally safe in your presence, turning

every conversation into a valuable zone of security that hell be
extremely hesitant to let another man encroach upon.

3. Hes going to be so constantly stimulated by the way that

you can bring his male mental theater to life that hell never
grow bored with you, which will make him consider life with you
like an adventure thats waiting to happen as soon as he

37
becomes bold enough to embark.

Accompanying these highly desirable effects of dedicating

attention to raising his emotional temperature are the benefits
of fulfilling two other extremely important desires he possesses
the desire to be unconditionally respected, and the desire to
be validated.

When he feels that you respect him for the essence of all that
he is, hell feel a certain kind of compulsion to be near you that
cant possibly be matched just by seeing another lady in the
store whos physically attractive.

Youre going to be triggering all of these momentous effects

simply with the use of powerful words which I call Obsession
Phrases.

Everything that weve discussed so far may sound a bit

complex, but the beauty of it all is that the complexity is
underlined by extraordinarily simple precedents.

With just the utterance of a well-time or thought-out phrase,

you can set off the chain reaction within a man that leads him
on the path to seeing you in a light that few other women in his
life have the knowledge to match.

38
 Chapter 2 The Big Secret of Obsession
Phrases.

Have you ever been so engrossed in a movie or book that you

started actually feeling like you were experiencing that fictional
story yourself?

Has the immersion ever been so great that you cant help but
actually feel as though you personally understand the pain and
happiness that the characters are experiencing?

Have the ebbs and flows of a protagonists struggles ever

managed to take you on a very real emotional journey yourself?

Have you ever been so immersed in a fictional story that you

feel just a little bit empty when the story is over, like a piece of
your own story has come to an end?

When you become invested enough in a fictional work to feel

like youre truly apart of the action, then the creator has
accomplished their mission.

What do you think Hollywood is really profiting off of?

Does Hollywood profit from high-profile actors and special

effects?

39
If you said so, you wouldnt be wrong, but you wouldnt be one
hundred percent right, either what Hollywood really uses
those actors and special effects for is to profit from yours and
others emotions.

People see movies for all kinds of reasons, from the want of
laughter even to moral obligation, but at the end of the day,
those motivations are unified by the element of emotional
investment that has to happen first.

When you are buying a cinema ticket, or a soft cover pulp

fiction novel, or admission to the cinema, what you are really
purchasing is the experience of your own resultant emotions to
the content.

It may seem a bit odd that you could actually buy the
experience of your own emotions, but dont get too caught up
in the face-value of the words technically your emotions are
already there, and what you purchase is the entertainment
medium to serve as a temporary conduit for all of your feelings.

Your joy, your excitement, and your fear are all things that
Hollywood and other professionals in the creative medium are
monetizing.

When the production fails to make the audience feel anything

thats conducive to engaging in it more, then thats when it fails
to sell and gets considered a flop.

Even an emotional investment based in anger counts as a

victory for Hollywood if it results in more people purchasing the
opportunity to see what all the fuss is about.

40
Now hold on, why am I talking about movies so much?

You may be wondering why Im going on about movies when

this is supposed to be a book about obsession phrases, but if
youve been paying strict attention to what weve covered in the
previous chapter, you probably know what the point is.

What youre going to learn has to do with taking a page from

Hollywood in the art of knowing how to effectively STIR
EMOTIONS within people that you want to influence.

Heres something interesting to know about emotions we are

far, far more likely to mentally consolidate an event in our
memory when its emotionally charged.

Even if we dont remember every detail, if its emotionally

charged, it will be branded into our memory and stick out like a
red-hot piece of iron in the snow.

We experience so many diverse sounds, sights and smells on a

daily basis that it would be absolutely impossible to manually
account for them all without going stir crazy.

Our brains unburden themselves of the weight of insignificant

memories of under-stimulating things for a reason we have
absolutely no use for them, and so its only practical to toss
them to the side.

A human is actually about ten times more likely to remember

an emotionally-charged event than an event in which they had
no emotional investment at all.

Bland and boring events get discarded in the static of all of the
rest of our disregarded memories, but emotionally electric

41
events get moved to special shelf in which they can always be
viewed more clearly.

Think of how people argue with their significant others, or how

parents argue with their children, and the frequent accusation
that somebody never does X, Y, or Z. Now X, Y, or Z could be
something as innocuous as taking out the trash or doing the
dishes, and its extremely unlikely that anyone has ever literally
never done those things at least one time.

The emotionally charged heat of the argument simply

superimposes the negative memories of when the other person
being argued with didnt happen to do whatever that chore was.

Essentially, were going to be accomplishing the same thing with

obsession phrases that Hollywood professionals and best-selling
author can accomplish with their emotion-eliciting work.

If you can learn how to make your words contribute to a

strongly consolidated memory by imbuing them with
emotionally triggering power, you can make the impression you
want on the man you desire.

Now something vital to remember here is that the emotions

youre looking to stir up in the man, in relation to you, should
be positive ones.

While a documentary can attract viewers based on the fact that

it triggers their righteous anger, thats not an emotion thats
highly conducive to a person wanting to a man wanting to
spend more time with you.

The obsession phrases were going to be covering are designed

to stir up emotion to maximum velocity.

42
The goal seems simple enough on paper, but you might be
wondering exactly how it is you can most successfully go about
stirring up emotion in the very first place no need to fear,
because Ive broken it down into three essential steps.

Remember, the amount of emotion youre able to summon

within the mans heart and the level of benefits youll be able to
derive from the relationship with him are positively correlated.

So here are the details you must keep in mind before you say
anything to a man

1. Show, dont tell.

2. Make his mind ponder.
3. Create anticipation.

If you can fully consolidate the values of these three different

steps into an overarching attitude you adopt towards speaking
to a man, youll have the key to getting just about everything
you desire from him

1. Show, dont tell. Details are necessary.

A golden rule of this process is to make sure that you prioritize

the mental images created by the words you speak instead of
simply the words themselves.

As we emphasized a great deal in the past chapter, its not

really the words themselves that carry any intrinsic value when
we speak them all we ever did when we created language was
ascribe meaning to sounds, and the impact of the sound is

43
determined by the mental image formulated in the mind of the
hearer.

If you really want to strike a nerve in the heart of any man,

then the principle of showing and not telling cannot be
overstated in its importance.

Every single one of your words should paint a vivid portrait in

the mans mind that keeps him up at night.

There are millions of ways that you can paint a vivid picture in a
mans mind, and so understandably, it can be a tad bit
intimidating to try and think of every single possibility one
thing that you assuredly can do, however, is make sure that
your words arent boring or mundane.

Unfortunately, most people in society are fine-tuned to

constantly speak of the most inane and boring things
imaginable on top of that, they oftentimes repeat these
boring things over and over again.

Heres an example that just might illustrate the principle a little

bit more clearly.

You could very easily tell a guy something as honest and simple
as, Hey! I like you!

It accomplishes the basic purpose, but you can definitely do a

lot better than that.

If you really want to knock it out of the park, youve got to

make a point of going out of your way to make sure he
understands exactly what kinds of things he does that you like.

44
Instead of just telling him that you like him and leaving it at
that, what you can do is say something more to this effect:

I really like it when you hold my hands and hold me really

close to you, it makes me feel so wonderful.

Doesnt the difference strike you immediately?

The added imagery here really drives it home that youre not
just trying to make him think that you like him.

By adding in a specific account of exactly what it is he does that

makes you feel great, youve given a high-quality mental image
to work with and understand more of your mental narrative.

Remember: the more detailed the mental image you can paint
in his mind, the heavier of an impact youll be able to make on
his mind when youre no longer in the immediate vicinity.

When you can get him to think about you even when youre not
actually around him, youll know that youve finally succeeded
in painting a powerful mental image in his psyche that will
gradually drive him wild with affection for you.

2. Make his mind ponder

The second extremely important principle of emotional

stimulation were going to cover here is the art of heavy mental
stimulation.

One of the best ways that you can see to it that a man gets
emotional is by making it so that he has to wrestle with his own

45
uncertainty.

Men love to be right, and so when you dont allow them to have
everything figured out right away, theyre naturally going to
start feeling a little bit out of sorts about things.

Your objective must be to force the man to think, consider,

ponder and internally question just about everything that you
say to him.

You dont have to make it so that youre outright lying to him or

saying weird things, but a real effort to leave loose ends
attached to the things you say will go a long way.

Most conversations are boring by default, which is why the most

exciting and thought-provoking conversations we have tend to
stand out so much in our minds when we have them.

When were able to have a conversation that really leaves us

questioning what is and isnt true, we hold it in special place in
our minds for analysis until its solved, if it ever is.

Lets just use an easy example to illustrate the effect Im talking

about here

Suppose you want to let a guy know that you like spending time
with him, but dont want to make it seem like hes won you just
because he made a good impression so far.

You could say something to the effect of, Hey Eric, I enjoy your
company and be done with it, or you could take a step farther
in order to really engage his curious mind at a level that you
havent touched before.

46
Instead of just telling him that you enjoy his company, you can
both express your appreciation for while still allowing for some
shadow of a doubt.

Say something like I enjoy your company a lot but you do

have your weird moments once in a while

Now do you see what the critical difference is here with the
latter form of the phrase?

Instead of just leaving your statement of appreciation for him

hanging in the air so that he can take it and use to inflate his
ego, youve instead given him something that he can
legitimately think about.

The first sentence barely requires any thought at all on his part
to understand. Even though it may be true that you do enjoy
his company enough to express it to him honestly, its an
incredibly bland statement that he wont have to roll over in his
head for very long in order to fully understand.

With the second statement, you have effectively opened up the

virtual floodgates for his thoughts.
He would be completely caught up in wondering about what
your definition of weird moments is, growing increasingly self-
conscious.

When he starts thinking critically about all of the things he does

that could possibly be interpreted by you as weird, youve
initiated the loop of constant conversation hell engage in with
you in order to find out.

Youll get a better understanding of this when you see some of

the Obsession Phrases in the coming chapters.

47
3 Create anticipation

Now this third principle of emotional stimulation Im going to

share with you is actually the most powerful one of all.

Weve already gone over how heavily the movie industry

depends on emotional stimulation in order to stay afloat, and
now I ask you once again to take a moment to think critically
about the entertainment industry.

Have you ever watched the Daily Soaps?

Have you noticed how Daily Soaps are able to maintain a

constant audience by ending every episode on an open loop?

What do you think the purpose of that open loop is, exactly?

The open loop format is a truly genius approach to the ongoing

series medium. When each episode ends on an open loop, the
viewer has their anticipation triggered, which results in a
nervous brand of excitement.

Your primary goal should be to make it so that every time you

two are about to part ways, theres always just a little bit of
uncertainty left hanging in the air for him.

When you make sure to always leave a little bit of mystery

lingering between the two of you, hes going to be left
anticipating what you do and say a lot more than he did before.

Now its crucial that before I dive into the specifics of this step,

48
I clarify something for you:

While this third step is undoubtedly powerful, it is not always

absolutely necessary. You should use this technique sparingly
unless the situation really calls for it.

You dont always need to create more anticipation, and well

spend some more time talking about that in coming chapters.

Now if there comes the time when you legitimately do feel you
need to employ the art of creating a sense of anticipation, Ive
got an example you can look to for inspiration.

Imagine youve just finished a picturesque date with a guy who

just so happens to do an astoundingly small amount of things
to tick you off.

Youre feeling a good 8 or 9 out of 10 on the scale of

satisfaction with the night, and you know that youve got to let
this guy know hes done an awesome job at salvaging your faith
in the male gender.

You could very well just say something as simple as, It was
nice meeting you and I hope to do this again sometime. and
leave it at that.

Its short, simple, sweet, and about as exciting as cleaning the

lint out of the dryer.

Ending a night out with a line like this may not exactly push him
away, but its highly unlikely to have him chomping at the bit to
come out and see you again.

49
Now if you really want to leave your potential lover off on a
serious cliffhanger, all thats needed is a slight adjustment. Try
to instead say something to the effect, of:

I did enjoy my time with you, but I noticed something a little

bit strange.

Now after you say something like this, hes naturally going to
wonder and be curious about what you thought was SO
STRANGE about a wonderful date.

Now when naturally expresses that curiosity, thats your cue to

deliver the graceful coup de grace.

Instead of just letting him know exactly what it is that made

you think things were a little bit strange, you can instead say
something to the effect of:

Oh! I really need to head back home. Ill talk about it some
other time.

Now after you utter this last sentence, do you have any idea of
what might happen next? Ill tell you: youre going to end the
date, right then and there.

Dont offer any alternative explanation, just head on back to

where you need to go with a sense of urgency and purpose.

From the very moment you leave, you will have effectively
summoned a loop of intrigue and uncertainty in his mind that
hell be hard-pressed to escape from.

His anticipation will intermingle with his feeling of uncertainty,

50
and more than anything else, hell want to clarify the truth the
mystery of your true feelings.

Now to sum this chapter up and put it all on the same page,
lets just briefly review all that weve covered here thus far
about these obsession-generating phrases.

Your obsession-generating phrases will at once build up a

cocktail of comfort and anxiety in his heart while hell be
relieved that you do have something resembling feelings
towards him, hell also be a bit wary of what the implications of
your uncertainty are.

The key to creating these effects is really just a matter of

making the words you say create strong, highly discernible
images.

You dont have to literally create fantastic images off of the top
of your head, but you can benefit simply from taking care to
make specific mentions of all of the things it is that he does that
please you.

Instead of making ambiguous mentions about the kind of

person you think he is, substitute those things with ambiguous
mentions about things that might actually be turning you off.
Never forget that men are, by nature, enamored with the allure
of the chase.

Everything that we desire is always perceived as most valuable

when it seems as if its the farthest out of our reach, due to the
aura of exclusivity.

When your phrases compliment him while still giving off the
impression that your approval is something that he still has to

51
work for, youll be triggering ancient components within him
that kick start the emotions conducive to pursuing you
frustration, happiness, determination, confusion, and obsession.

Once you feel youve gotten a good grip on whatever Ive

explained thus far, its time I share my obsession phrases with
you one by one. Move on to the next chapter.

52
 Chapter 3 The Razzle-Dazzle Phrases

Take a moment to just consider this hypothetical scenario

youre going out with a guy for the very first time, and so far, it
seems like hes legitimately got a good amount of interest in
you.

He hasnt given you a single red flag yet the entire date, and so
naturally, youre feeling pretty optimistic.

You get that feeling in your chest that just makes you sense
that things are going right instead of only thinking that they
are, and what you can see is confirming all that you feel.

Its like all of the dating planets have aligned perfectly in your
favor with this guy, and from the beginning to the end of the
outing, it seems like youve won the romantic lottery.

After he drops you off, he gives you a gentle good-night kiss to

consolidate the electric feeling of the night and says hell be
calling you soon for another date actually, he doesnt say that
he will, he outright promises that hell be giving you a call to
take you out again very soon.

A few days go by, and your phone remains un-called by the

man in question.

53
You try not to, but you cant help but check and re-check your
phone to see if you might actually be missing something.

Your curiosity eventually turns into just being plain pissed off.
He promised something that you had just about every sign of
him eventually following through on, and then he proceeded to
forget you existed.

It seems as though he may has well have actually promised you

that he could leap to the moon in a single bound.

Now even though you may have been so fortunate as to have

not have had to go through such an undesirable scenario, I can
confidently say that there is almost no woman on the planet
who has not had to go through something like this at least
once.

The state you can fall into that makes you susceptible to a
situation like this is something that I like to call the state of
random attraction.

Simply put, the state of random attraction is when you are

liable to go out with a guy who fires off multiple signs that hes
just not feeling a great deal of attraction towards you, and yet
you go along with it anyway all because of the force of your raw
attraction to him.

Millions of women around the world are constantly falling petty

to symptoms of random attraction by the minute.

Educated, independent, powerful and perceptive women will still

54
occasionally exhibit vulnerability to the state of becoming too
star-struck by a gorgeous male specimen to see whats
happening (or sometimes, not happening) directly in front of
them.

Now of course there are some other women out there who
actually might be fortunate enough to catch onto the one-
sidedness of the passion before its too late however, a lot of
even these women may tend to try and go about remedying
what theyre discovered in a completely incorrect fashion.

What a great deal of women will assume is the solution to

awakening true passion in the heart of a man theyre interested
in is physical attraction.

These women believe that just by looking good, they can sway
a man to suddenly see the merit in becoming committed to
them.

The issue with attempting to be physically attractive enough

just to get the man to commit is that, while it just may work, it
will be for the completely wrong reasons and create the most
unstable relationship imaginable that is, if you can even get
that far.

Physical attractiveness really only goes so far when were being

constantly bombarded by the visual stimuli of supermodels in
our media every single minute of the day, and so if you think
just looking good is going to make you stand out in his mind
among all of the rest he has to capture his attention, you could
seriously use a dose of reality.

Heres the truth that a lot of women these days just dont seem

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to be one-hundred percent familiar with

An average-looking woman with a knockout personality will

generally be able to win out over a woman who looks like a
goddess but has a dead personality.

The average looking woman who is able to charm men in a way

that completely confounds the women who focus a lot more on
their looks is generally going to be helped out a lot by an
extremely powerful tool in her arsenal her words.

This is a woman who will have subconsciously mastered the art

of all of the obsession phrases and desire-fulfillment techniques
that weve gone over so far, and the effects are absolutely
tremendous.

With nothing more than just the use of the right words, this
woman will have the power to dazzle men right out of their
shoes as if it were as easy as playing mini-golf on a Sunday
morning.

Better-looking women may never quite understand just what

the secret to this verbose, personable, average-looking
womans game is unless they too understand the right
techniques to mentally dazzle a man until he becomes like a
willing follower.

Now before we move on any further, I have to ask, do you know

exactly why it is a guy may tend to not call back after a date
that seemed to go over pretty smoothly?

Do you know what the key component is that causes a man to

lose attraction far too early in the relationship?

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The answer is that the woman actually failed to create a
legitimate sense of intrigue.

Remember what we covered in the previous chapter about how

soap operas are able to maintain a captive audience due to the
effective use of open loops at the end of every episode?

The audience remains invested due to the fact that theres

always something more left to be discovered in the next
episode that wasnt resolved in the one that just ended.

If an episode ended with every single thing wrapped up nicely,

with no over-arching elements to develop the characters or the
world they live in, then there just wouldnt be as much
motivation for the audience to keep on watching.

Believe it or not, the same principle applies to relationships that

are just starting to bloom.

If you dont create any sense of mystery of things yet to be

discovered about you before or by the end of the night, even if
it was actually an enjoyable date, youll find that most men just
wont be intrigued enough by you to keep on pursuing you with
the intent to get to know you better than they think they
already do.

Now be aware, I am not saying thats always your fault if you

werent able to make the man feel like you were the most
interesting woman in the world on the very first date there
are times in which that just really cant be helped, and were
not looking to attack anybody for that.

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What is of the utmost importance, however, is that you
understand just how vital it is to make sure that you
understand what the impact of being legitimately intriguing is.

They dont necessarily teach anybody how to be intriguing in

school, but thats exactly why Ive written this guide for you in
the very first place.

The only way that youre ever going to be able to keep a lock
on attention from a man that youre interested in is if you make
sure that you command that attention to the best of your
ability.

Youve got to make it so that you can effectively and effortlessly

exhibit your best qualities, just like how the top marketers in
the world are able to summon legions of people to their
products with a simple advertisement.

You dont have to legitimately know the exact strategies that

every top marketer uses in order to get their products out on
the top of the nation best-selling list, because that takes years
of practice and study to fully understand, but one thing you can
be certain of is what the top marketers assuredly do not do in
order to get their products noticed by the target market that
theyre interested in.

A top marketer is not going to come out to directly to you in

your house, sit down right in front of you at the dining room
table, slam his product down right in front of you and say,
please buy this.

There are some marketers who definitely operate in this

fashion, but theres a reason why theyre generally not
operating at the very top of the business world.

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Remember all that weve talked about so far regarding the
power of mental images?

Mental images are how the top marketers are able to get you
buying three, four or five of their products before sunset.

Instead of just telling you, buy this, these marketers are

instead making sure that they can get you to imagine what your
life is going to be like when you actually invest in whatever it is
that theyre selling.

Essentially, what youre going to have to do is get the man

youre interested in to hypothetically imagine and love the idea
of what life with you could be like if he actually got invested into
you.

How do you do this?

Its as simple as what weve already been going over here so far
you have to be able to trigger his intrigue and stir up his
emotions until he practically feels like he has no other choice
but to get involved with you to settle up those stormy,
stimulating feelings inside.

Now even though these effects understandably sound pretty

momentous, and they really are, they can be triggered with the
use of just a couple of simple phrases to be employed at the
beginning of just about any date that you go on.

What are these phrases? Well, I call them the Razzle Dazzle
phrases and they can be used in any first date situations

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Here are some examples, you can say at the end or in the
middle of your first meeting with a man

I was both excited and scared about this.

This line seems innocent enough, doesnt it?

As innocent as it is, youll notice something pretty fantastic

about it if you pay just a little bit more attention to it.

This innocent line carries a lot of intrigue power within it. Its
going to make the man seriously start thinking, and his
thoughts may be along the lines of, I get that she was excited,
but why scared?

Chances are that hes going to ask you for just a little bit of
clarification as to what it was that got you feeling nervous, and
thats when you move onto another intrigue-arouser like the
following line

Well, its nothing major, maybe Ill talk about it when I

know you better.

Its imperative that immediately after you drop this line, you
make a point to change the subject.

After you do this, hell once again be at the mercy of his own
intrigue.

Of course the line itself is still completely innocent, but at the

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same time, hes going to be left hanging on uncertainty.

When you do this, you are at once planting a seed that

expresses interest and also establishing a personal boundary to
keep him away from knowing everything about you right away.

The boundary of course will vanish in time, but the key point is
that the time will be provided by the fact that he still has things
about you to work towards figuring out.

And will be motivated to figure them out due to the fact that
youve expressed a clear sign that youre actually interested in
him.

Now that youve established your intrigue-generating boundary

and also indirectly commanded a second date, you can go on
ahead and drop a line like the following anywhere in the middle
of your usual conversation

I am usually the nicest person youll ever come across,

all my friends say I am the nicest girl they know, but I
have a very evil and weird side to me. Honestly, if I could
tell you the weird things Ive done

Now just like after the very first line you dropped, after this
one, theres a good chance hes going to start wondering just
what it is that youre so unsure about telling him, which will
likely compel him to ask exactly what it is youve done that you
dont know about whether or not youd like to share.

When he does ask you exactly what it is that youve done, your
next job is to once again change the subject.

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Say that youll be able to tell him about it once youre a little
more comfortable with him, and it will absolutely drive him
nuts.

When you finally get around to the latter half of the date, you
have an opportunity to intensify the tension boiling up between
the two of you to really drive things home.

You can make it so that all of the tension that youve

successfully built up so far comes to a head with a line like the
following here

I dont know if I should tell you this or not, I know its

funny, but I have a mental checklist for men. I noticed
four really good qualities in you, BUTwith two not-so-
good qualities.

Rest assured that as soon as you drop a line like this one, there
is a 99.9% chance that hes going to ask you, in some way,
shape or form, to explain yourself better than you did.

When he asks you to clarify exactly what it is that youre talking

about, your next directive should be to tell him that you really
need to be somewhere else but not without mentioning that
you would love to actually talk about it at another time.

With this technique, you have basically prolonged the power of

the intrigue boundary and planted a seed of interest.

Unless hes denser than dark matter, hell know for certain that
you are interested in him, but hell also be aware of the fact
that keeping you is going to take a little bit more of an effort

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than just asking you to spill out all of your secrets.

Make sure that you leave the conversation at the point at which
hes still slightly reeling from the unanswered question and the
expression of your interest, and I guarantee that hes going to
be blowing up your phone for another date.

Now I understand that this may all seem just a little bit out
there, but trust me, there are few things than men love more
than the thrill of the chase.

The chase is what has been compelling men, for thousands of

years, to keep on going after the women theyre interested in
the most in order to prolong the lifespan of the entire human
race.

Men live and die by the chase, and by doing this, youre
essentially giving them exactly what they crave on a biological
level.

As long as you make sure that you always leave room for just a
little more to be found out than what you explicitly reveal, you
can pretty much ensure that you always keep him firmly locked
into that precious never-ending loop of attraction.

You dont really even need to over think what it will take in
order to keep the intrigue at an optimal level.

Make sure that you notice whenever he asks a question that

demands some kind of personal information from you, and
when he does that, ensure that you absolutely do not give away
more than whats going to keep him only barely satisfied.

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If youre having any second thoughts about what it will entail in
order to keep a mans intrigue floating at the highest level
possible, just take a moment to appreciate what your own
personal life means to you.

All of your qualities, experiences, knowledge and old memories

are unique to you and you alone you are not obligated to
make those things candid to every single person who asks.

By showing that you have a degree of exclusivity attributed to

the things that are most deep-seated within you about your
personality, youre not only keeping the mans intrigue level up,
but also exhibiting a very real sense of self-respect that many
people will seriously admire.

The world is full of people who are not only unbearably boring
to talk to, but also incredibly candid about every single aspect
of their lives that just about no one ever actually asked about.

These people think that theyre actually engaging the people

around them with their relentless sharing, but all theyre doing
is bogging down the people around them to death with their
personal baggage.

Even if a man is already noticeably interested in you, youre

going to be sabotaging your chances if you think that the best
way to keep him is by throwing all of your cards on the table
before he has a chance to blink.

Remember no matter how valuable something is, it appears a

lot more valuable when it is hard to get and isnt being
aggressively thrust upon us.

Keeping your secrets and feelings up high on a shelf will

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challenge the faculties within him that make him feel powerful
and smart, which will frustrate him just a bit, but also compel
him to work harder.

At the same time that hes working to prove to himself that he

can figure you out, hell also be falling for you.

Spending all of the time that youll make necessary in order to

get to know you fully will entrench him deeply into the nucleus
of your heart and soul, and with all of his effort, hell be
investing the full extent of himself into understanding the core
of what makes you tick.

It wont be an explicitly physical connection, but the mental

stimulation will generate very real physiological effects that
scientifically draw him ever closer to you by the day.

The anticipation, excitement, and suspense about whats to

come next will prolong the never-ending cycle of attraction
infinitely.

In the coming chapters, Im going to show you ways that you

can actually intensify the cycle even more strongly by using a
variety of more phrases.

Move on to the next chapter

65
 Chapter 4 Everlasting Attraction Phases

Are you familiar with the concept of a soul mate? You may or
may not actually believe in it, but chances are you at least
understand the idea of two people who are meant to be with
one another until the end of time.

Some people are so resolute in their belief that theyll claim

that they and their loved one are destined to be with one
another even across the span of several different lifetimes.

Whether or not you believe in the concept of being someones

literal soul mate, theres no questioning that there are in fact
bonds between people that are so strong that it seems as
though it could actually border on supernatural.

Youve probably seen couples who are so incredibly infatuated

with one another that it fills you with equal feelings of both
nausea and admiration.

Do you understand what it really takes for two people to be

able to achieve that kind of bond?

Do you understand what it would take for you to be able to

achieve that kind of bond with a man, so secure and enduring
that you could almost legitimately call him your soul mate?

66
Heres the thing about happily ever after even though a lot of
us would like to believe that the decision to commit to someone
for life can only be made after a long and highly rational
process of weighing down the pros and cons to the wisest
possible decision, it is feelings and feelings alone that
determine that decision.

No matter how much we may like to think that we can

effectively rationalize this or that, at the end of the day, we are
pretty much guaranteed to voluntarily elect our lifelong
commitment decision based on that inexplicable sensation in
the gut that makes us think of somebody as the one.

Something within us just naturally makes us view certain

people as our soul mates, or if not exactly that, a person that
we sense as the strongest choice in partner for the rest of our
lives.

So, how do we apply that to the nature of what weve been

talking about all this time?

Its quite simple, really we can use the power of obsession

phrases to steer a man into the direction of seeing us as the
ultimate life partner.

The key to Everlasting Attraction is making a guy see you as

the girl of his dreams, and as intense as that sounds, its a lot
simpler than you might be thinking.

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When you get to the point at which youve identified a guy that
you both have feelings for and have reason to believe that he
has the same, its time to start building up the foundation for
Everlasting Attraction but how do you do it?

Im going to let you know some of the most effective obsession

phrases Ive found in order to start building that foundation, but
before we dive into that, lets just go over how you can
believably achieve the milestone of the Everlasting Attraction
phrase.

Now let me just ask you a question: have you ever witnessed a
man get completely caught up in the thrill of a casino?

Have you seen a man gambling on the same old game,

repeatedly, even though he might be consciously aware of the
fact that hed probably be better off taking it a little bit easier?

When a man gets into the state in which he simply refuses to

lose, for better or worse, its almost like something has literally
possessed him and made him helpless to resist the thundering
cry inside just to win.

You may have felt that sensation once or twice yourself, and it
is that very feeling that were going to be capitalizing upon in
order to produce a full picture of what it takes to induce
Everlasting Attraction.

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Why do you think it is that a man just doesnt seem to be able
to stand up and leave that table at the casino that he keeps
pouring his money into over and over again?

Hes aware of the fact that his wallet cant keep bleeding cash
forever, and yet in spite of this, he continues on his awe-
inspiringly stubborn drive to recoup everything that hes lost in
the process.

In order to answer this question, I must ask you to think back

to what we covered in Chapter One when discussing the
complexities of the male mental theater.

When a man is engaging in highly determined or obsessive

behavior, it would be overly simplistic to say that that hes doing
it because he really, really wants to win while that may be
true, it detracts from the bare bones nature of whats
happening in his actual molecular physiology.

When a man is sitting down at the gambling table to throwing

caution to the wind in order to get that profit hes seeking, he is
experiencing an extremely powerful surge of hormones in his
body that are compelling him to continue on in spite of anything
that may be discouraging him from continuing these are what
we call Pleasure Hormones.

Despite the pleasant-sounding name, Pleasure Hormones have

an extremely forceful and potentially explosive influence on the
behavior of anyone who is momentarily being heavily influenced

69
by them.

The sensation is so addictive that the person may wind up

actually doing what theyre doing for the sole purpose of feeling
that sensation more than theyre actually invested in achieving
the objective goal of succeeding at what theyre doing.

However you word it, the end result is that the man becomes
extremely impulsive.

When this happens, it becomes increasingly challenging for him

to consciously come to executive mental decisions to stop going
after what hes identified as the source of his compulsive and
impulsive drive.

So you know what the key is to unlocking Everlasting Attraction

towards you in a man is by now, right?

Youve got to be able to induce that same hyper-driven feeling

within him as described in the example of the man who refuses
to get up and leave the gambling table.

Youve got to influence him in such a way that he is all but

helpless to resist the relentless force of his own overactive
pleasure hormones.

And this can be achieved by one thing and one thing alone,
which is

70
You have to turn yourself into a trigger of pleasurable
feelings in his mind.

Lets take a look at another hypothetical scenario that youre

probably more than just a little bit familiar with.

Have you ever seen a guy who is driven absolutely out of his
mind by another girl, even though it didnt really seem like that
girl actually possessed any remarkable qualities?

Even though she wasnt extraordinarily smart or attractive, did

you see that guy pursue her like he was a miner after the last
piece of gold on the planet?

Why do you think this happens so often?

What is it that he sees in her?

What makes her so special that he has to pursue her for

qualities that youre hard-press to understand if they even
actually exist?

In order to understand exactly whats behind this seemingly

inexplicable scenario, weve got to think from within the mind of
the man himself.

We have to take ourselves out of our shoes for a moment and

71
try to conceptualize what can seriously spark interest in this girl
that we think is incredibly ordinary.

Even though she may appear ordinary to us, in the mind of that
specific man chasing her, she may as well be the queen of the
universe.

In a psychological sense, chances are that she probably carries

that exact level of influence over him in his everyday life.

You must understand that when it comes to the way that we

feel about our lives, every one of us is more or less living in our
own separate universe.

One persons influence on another persons life can alter their

entire sense of being, even if they have absolutely no impact on
another person thats close to whomever theyre influencing.

So long as a woman is acting as a constant source of pleasure

in a mans universe, it doesnt matter what she appears like to
us on the inside the impact levels that she has on us,
compared to him, are entirely separate.

If you want to be able to achieve the same level of universe-

consuming effect on a man that youre interested in, then what
youre aspiring to goes a whole lot deeper than just what can be
observed from seeing you and hearing you talk.

Your appearance and intelligence level certainly wont hurt your

72
chances if theyre high, but the kind of influence that you can
wield must transcend that.

When you become a constant source of potential pleasure in his

mind, then not only is he going to appreciate your high-value
qualities, but hes also going to start caring a lot less about your
flaws.

None of us are perfect, that much is certain, but when you have
a man who is as driven to be with you as a gambling addict
wants to win at the slot machine, you can consider it a total
victory.

Now in order to get the man you desire to this level of desire
for you, youre going to need to employ some extremely well-
tuned and weaponized obsession phrases to get them on the
path to wanting to invest in you more.

Any time that he thinks of you, you want him to be obsessing

over the possibility of getting to actually see you in person.

When you know what it takes in order to make a man fully dive
into the Everlasting Attraction phases with you, all that hes
going to experience in regards to you are the feelings of love
and excitement.

Hes going to want and need you more as he spends more time
with you, never quite acclimating to the rush of being in your
immediate vicinity.

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At the end of the day, its going to be just like when a little kid
craves love from his mother when this happens, there are
going to be two amazing things that occur as a result.

Amazing Thing Number One You will become 100 times

more valuable in his world

Something incredibly weird and yet very powerful all the same
occurs when you manage to get a man to this stage of
attraction towards you.

When you become a legitimate source of extremely pleasurable

feelings in his world, hes going to start getting taken over by
ancient instincts.

When his ancient instincts fully awaken, hes going to start

feeling an extremely powerful inner drive to literally fight for
you and protect you as if your life is his own life.

Hes going to be so fixated on you that he sees his own internal

well-being as something entirely interchangeable with his own,
which will make him prioritize you on a level that no other
woman can possibly match.

Hes going to feel like youre one hundred times more worthy of
his attention than every other woman out there, based on how
closely your own happiness and security are tied to his own
personal feelings of happiness and security.

74
In a sense, you could say that hes going to start actually
feeling emotionally hungry for your closeness.

If hes not able to be around you for longer than he desires,

hes going to start getting physical pangs this will be because
you have become a source of legitimate fulfillment for him, and
without you, he will be like a fish out of water.

Amazing Thing Number Two He will see permanently

committing to you as the next logical step
When you get him to the stage of Everlasting Attraction, you
wont even need to think about actually asking him to commit
to you.

Hell be so frightened at the prospect of losing you to another

man that hell see no other recourse but to commit to you in
order to prevent himself going mad with fear of you being
claimed by someone else.

When youve become a powerful source of fulfillment in his

mind, hes going to be driven to protect you as a dog protects
his bone.

Even if hes actually already committed to you, youll still be

able to notice an extremely dramatic shift in his level of
attachment towards you if you can get him to the stage of
Everlasting Attraction with the phrases were going to be
covering.

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The most obvious sign that hes been fully driven into this state
will be if you ask him exactly why hes so driven to do so many
things for you or protect you so fiercely, and he has trouble
forming a clear explanation.

All hell know is that, for some reason, going to extreme lengths
to protect you and care for you just seems entirely right.

Everlasting Attraction Phrases

Now that youve gotten a solid idea of just how powerful the art
of arousing everlasting attraction is, its time to start going over
what specific phrases can actually be used in order to start
actually moving the man in that particular direction.

When youre using these phrases, remember that the core

emotion within the man that youre looking to arouse is his
male EGO.

You are going to be directly appealing to the ancient

components within him that compel him to be powerful provider
that seeks out fulfillment from his mate that validates him in
return for his strength and protection.

With these phrases, youre going to be both feeding his ego and
validating him at the very same time. Do this correctly, and
Everlasting Attraction will be achieved in no time flat.

Here are some phrases you can use on him in your day to day

76
dealings

You make me feel so safe and loved, thank you.

A simple phrase like this will appeal directly to the parts of him
that are designed to make him a powerful and appreciated
provider.

His mission to protect you and keep you safe will be both
rewarded and encouraged with a simple phrase such as this
one.

Just thinking of you brings a smile to my face, thank you

for being such a special presence in my life.
This lets the man know that even when the two of you arent
within the immediate vicinity of one another, youre still thinking
of him consequently, this will lead to him thinking of you more
often when the two of you arent around one another as well.

You are planting a seed of your affection for him within his mind
that will remain rooted at all times.

I love how you keep my needs in mind even when I

dont ask you to. Youre really special to me and I just
wanted to let you know that.
A lot of men are a little bit unsure of whether or not their
constant little efforts are really being appreciated by the people
they do them for, but with a phrase like this, you are basically
assuring him that hes on the right track this will encourage
him to increase the pace at which he works to please you, due
to the security of knowing hes doing a good job.

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I really like to have someone like you by my side.

When you use a phrase like this, youre letting him know that
you see him as more than just a hot body that can be replaced
youre expressing appreciation for him as an ally and life
partner, which will strongly consolidate his security in you as
someone who can reliably be committed to.

Ive never ever seen a man who knows how to keep a

woman pleased as much as you do. I am so thankful to
be around you.
This is a pure massage to the ego that just might make his
whole day if you say it at the right time.

Men are not only prone to pushing themselves in order to feel

worthy, but theyre also comparing themselves to other men in
categories of physical shape, intelligence, salary, achievement,
and the ability to satisfy women.

Telling him that hes unusually good at pleasing women will give
him a massive confidence boost in his idea of his place within
male hierarchy.

Ive been wanting to tell you this, but Ive been the
happiest since the day Ive met you. You give me the
best feeling in the world. Thank you so much for being
there for me.
If hes ever had any doubt about what his presence has ever
meant to you, then this will assure him that every moment
since the two of you have been together has contributed to an

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overall pleasant experience.

His doubts will practically melt away!

Youve been so good to me that sometimes I dont feel I

even deserve it! Youre the best man ever, thank you.
Once again, this is another powerful ego masseur.

Lots of men worry that their women may not be feeling like
theyre getting all they truly deserve, but with this phrase, you
basically guarantee that he knows youre taking in the full value
of everything he does for you this is highly conducive to
stirring up his enthusiasm to continue on working to please you.

Remember the time when I was going through a rough

patch and you supported me all the way? I want to let
you know that I dont think anyone else would have
stood by me like you do. I appreciate you for it.
If theres one thing that can trigger love more powerfully than
showing others what were capable of at our best, its the ability
to stick it out for another person they are at their absolute
worst.

Someone who stands by you when there are the most reasons
ever to not be around you is always a keeper, and he may or
may not know that when you express just how much he
stands out among everyone else for being there for you in your
darkest hour, he will feel like he holds an extremely exclusive
and valuable place in your heart.

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Piecing it all together
You can definitely tweak these phrases to make them as
relevant to you and your man as possible just be sure to use
at least one of these phrases a day in order to achieve
maximum influence.

It wont take very long before he starts to notice a shift in his

emotions to a level that he may have never known before.

If there was anything previously holding him back, then after

youve employed the full power of these phrases, he will be one
hundred times more likely to view you as his potential soul
mate.

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 Chapter 5 The Whiz Bang Phrases.

I have a lot of strong relationships with my clients, and Im

thankful for that, but I recently did get into a pretty nasty
argument with one of them after all, were only human, right?

Believe it or not, the issue we had actually stemmed from a

clash between our fundamental beliefs.

This woman was extremely adamant about one of her most

predominant beliefs about the men of the world, and she was
not about to hear anything contradict it.

She was so firm in her belief that I wouldnt be surprised if you

could open up her head and literally see the words stamped
directly on top of the broadest part of her cerebral cortex the
words would read, I BELIEVE THAT LOOKS MATTER TO MEN.

Our argument got heated to a completely unprecedented level,

and eventually, I had no other choice than to cut her loose.

Professionalism is a virtue, but sometimes you need to watch

out for your bodily well-being!

Anyway, it was actually quite simple to understand the off-base

nature of her logic.

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Despite how argumentative she got, actually arguing with her
was not a complex matter in all honesty, I didnt entirely
disagree with her, but I certainly didnt place as much
importance upon what she identified as the most important
thing of all, and that made her incredibly irate with me.

As you probably remember from the earlier chapters, as I

mentioned multiple times, there is some value in appearances
when it comes to attraction.

The issue, however and I cannot stress this enough is when

people get so incredibly caught up in the impact of their looks
that they completely disregard every other aspect that could
also carry some legitimate importance along with it.

Looks are important, but the thing to remember is that they are
not that important.

If you set yourself up to invest all of your points in nothing but

looks, you are setting up to get knocked down. Period.

To illustrate this just a little bit more clearly, lets imagine a nice
big beautiful piece of cake.

Imagine that its been immaculately topped with your favorite

dessert topping whipped cream, chocolate chips, anything
that would bring it all together and make it perfect.

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Now that youve got the picture of that gorgeous dressed up
nicely in your mental image, lets classify its components lets
say that the toppings and icing represent a persons physical
appearance, and that the actual cake itself represents the full
inner value of a person in general.

The cream on top of the cake only represents about 10% of the
cake overall, and the remaining 90% is composed entirely of
the actual main cakes body itself.

Even if the cream itself is tasty, there can only be so much

enjoyment derived from eating the cake if 90% of every slice
tastes absolutely awful.

You most likely understand just how much this applies to

getting a man to appreciate you for the person you are.

If you want to attract a man and nothing more, then by all

means, feel free to invest in your looks and leave it at that.

If you legitimately want to keep the man, however, then youre

going to have to learn how to invest in showing off more than
what can just be grabbed and touched.

After a man is done enjoying your physical qualities and grows

acclimated to them, if theres nothing left for him to appreciate
besides that, then what on Earth is going to compel him to
actually stick around?

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The term that were going to refer to in order to describe the
case in which a man no longer values you beyond your
physicality is called Visual Blur.

We use the term Visual Blur due to the fact that men who are
attracted to a woman for only the things that are visually
appealing are just about guaranteed to see them as less
attractive and valuable as soon as theyve gotten what they
wanted.

The natural order of human nature dictates that we see the

things were accustomed to as less valuable after theyve been
available to us for a long enough period of time.

So naturally, this process of acclimation and devaluation is

dramatically expedited when you only give the man an
extremely limited number of swiftly depreciating reasons to
remain within your company.

Weve all observed the Visual Blur phenomenon in one way or

another over the course of our lives, and you can probably
imagine about three different scenarios in your head right now
that could illustrate ways in which it could completely dash the
hopes of a woman who thought she had a man in the palm of
her hands from day one.

Im not commanding you to care less about your looks than you
currently do, but as this guide was written for your benefit, Id
be doing you a heavy disservice if I didnt make sure to provide

84
an ample warning of what you could be bringing upon yourself if
you neglected to pay attention to the things that truly matter.

For your own benefit, Im going to tell you exactly what I told
that argumentative former client of mine that I had to cut off,
and you must take as you will: No matter how pretty you are,
there will come a point at which a man you are seeing will no
longer be as impressed by your looks as he was when he saw
you for the very first time.

If a man only ever saw you as attractive because of what you

looked like on the outside, then as time goes on, there will be a
steady decline in the amount that he values you as a partner
overall.

This goes without even considering possible fluctuations that

may very well occur in the form of sickness, injury, diet or even
your temporary physical absence.

If all you have to bank on for the survival of your relationship is

your looks, then you are in for a world of disappointment.

So you might be thinking right now that the obvious solution to

avoiding this regrettable circumstance is to reveal all of your
pleasant innermost qualities instead of focusing on whats only
on the outside, and while that may not necessarily be a bad
way to go about things, its not going to be the focus of this
particular chapter.

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Do you remember what I mentioned in the previous chapter
about the truth of what constructs everlasting attraction?

You might recall that one of the particular phrases I suggested

as an example of how to create everlasting attraction was
based on the fact that the strongest couples are generally
composed of people who dont only know each others best
qualities, but are also comfortable with each others worst as
well.

The reason Im mentioning that now is this: in order to conquer

the central relationship phase covered by this chapter, the Whiz
Bang phase, youre going to need to learn how to effectively
reveal all of your imperfections.

In short, the foundation of Whiz-Bang phrases is to be more

vulnerable around a man.

You must never underestimate the raw influence that

vulnerability can have on a man that youre interested in.

If you tactfully exhibit your weaknesses, youll be awakening

the ancient motivation inside of him to protect you and care for
you as a provider and hunter this can all be accomplished
with the use of what I like to call Whiz Bang phrases.

Now when youre using whiz bang phrases, you need to be

certain of the fact that youre capitalizing upon weaknesses of
yours that actually do exist.

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Its all fine and well to want to attract a man by showing that
youre not allergic to his help, but at the same time, its not
attractive at all to try going about it by going out of your way to
seem helpless all of the time.

With these Whiz Bang phrases, what youll essentially be doing

is making sure that you can exhibit a genuine need for help now
and then without coming across as needy or codependent.

A man doesnt want to have to take on the role as your father

or caretaker, but at the same time, he instinctively wants to use
his strength to help you out when youre on your weaker side.

The main draw to a woman who can tactfully demonstrate her

weakness is the sense of security and emotional maturity that
accompanies it.

Ive scarcely ever met a man who wants to stay with a girl who
throws a tantrum every time she cant reach a jar of jelly up on
the high shelf, but I do know that men have appreciated me
being unafraid to exhibit that I would honestly appreciate their
assistance.

The truest of connections occurs when a man and woman are

completely at peace with each others strengths and faults, but
understandably, people are a little bit more insecure with the
latter than they are with the former.

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Whiz Bang phrases allow you an easier way to approach the
difficult task of owning up to things that you might be just a
little bit nervous about mentioning openly.

When youve shown that youre unafraid of opening up about

the things that make you feel slightly weak or afraid, youll be
showing that youre open to a higher level of inner exposure to
a man.

This will be conducive to a much stronger mental connection

between the two of you, and one that physical appearances
alone cannot possibly hope to compensate for.

If the two of you are too afraid to open up about your

insecurities and limits, then it will be impossible to build a truly
legitimate connection with one another.

Have you ever felt like there was just some sort of invisible
barrier between you and the man you were interested in?

Perhaps there wasnt necessarily a barrier, but did you ever

perhaps feel that something just felt out of place between you
and a man you were with?

Perhaps when you got this feeling that something between the
two of you was missing, you felt like the solution was to say or
do something to connect better, and it didnt exactly turn out
like you planned.

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Did the reason for that failure perhaps stem from the fact you
werent quite as open with him as you could have been?

Theres no concrete way to tell whether or not the problem

necessarily stems from a lack of connectivity, but one thing you
can be sure of is that youre not going to be hurting your
chances by being as open and honest about your limitations as
possible.

I can almost guarantee that if you completely express yourself,

without fearing his judgment, youll be better off than if you
held it back for the fear of how it would be received.

So you may understandably be wondering right now, how can

you most effectively express the full extent of your fears and
weaknesses in a way that makes a man cherish you as his
precious treasure instead of driving him away?

How can you ensure his unconditional protection and care?

The only way that youll be able to pull this off is by being
brutally honest about all of your deepest feelings, and thats
where the power of Whiz Bang phrase truly shines.

Let me share some of these Whiz-Bang phrases to make

things just a little bit more clear (You can say these to him in
your day to day dealings)

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Eric! I am not going to hide, the world seems so perfect
when I have you by my side. I dont know if you feel the
same way about me or not, but I want to let you know
that youre really special to me. Thats all.

It doesnt get much more raw and real than this.

Theres a lot of couples in the world in which one person is

afraid of letting their partner know the full extent of their
deepest feelings when things are going well, but with something
like this, there is absolutely no chance of that being a serious
problem with the two of you.

Its simple, its honest, and most importantly, it cuts right to the
point as well.

A sentence like this lets him know exactly what he needs to

know, briefly, and it hits with more impact than an hour-long
speech.

Eric, I want to be honest with you today. When I first

met you, I didnt think like I deserved you. You somehow
know how to keep me smiling even when I am down. I
dont know how you feel about me, but I just want to let
you know that I love it when you hold me in your arms &
you give me the best feeling in the world.

Now this is where we start cutting into what Ive been

mentioning about being comfortable with exhibiting what some

90
people might be afraid of doing for the fear of showing
weakness if you do this properly, however, you wont need to
worry one bit about coming off as needy or clingy.

Remember what we mentioned in the previous chapter about

the importance of knowing how to most effectively stroke the
male ego so that he feels appreciated when he most needs it?

This phrase here is an effective way to accomplish exactly that.

Youll essentially be showing your man both that you are

comfortable with admitting some insecurities youve had, while
at the same time, complimenting him on her merit as a man.

By going into detail about how much you love the feeling of
having his arms around you, youre also creating the powerful
kind of mental image that we covered in detail near the
beginning of this guide.

With a strong mental image consolidated in his mind, hell have

maximum imagery to associate with the expression of your full
emotions.

Eric, I have to confess something. I lose myself when I

am around you. I get needy for your love and I am not
ashamed to admit it. I do get jealous when other girls
stare at you. I long to have you love me, adore me &
cherish me and I do understand thats an unrealistic
expectation. But I just wanted to honestly share my

91
feelings with you today. Thanks for being such a joy for
me.

Now this phrase right here represents the full extent of the
power thats to be found in expressing vulnerability for your
mans attention.

Admitting that you completely lose yourself when hes around

you takes an absolutely monumental amount of security, but if
you can accomplish that, youll have accomplished one of the
greatest feats of honesty possible in a relationship.

A lot of women try to cover up the fact that they feel anything
when their men are around other women, but with this phrase,
youre going to take things complete in the other direction.

By admitting that you do feel something when other women are

in your mans life, youre addressing something very real and
sensitive about the nature of commitment.

Your man knowing that you do get a bit jealous when hes
around other man will actually satisfy the part of him that
wants to be reassured of the fact that the you still feel a spark
for him.

If you can show him that your jealously comes from a place of
attraction from him and not just bitterness, hell find it a lot
easier to commit to you.

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When women attack their men for getting attention from other
women instead of just honestly expressing that theyre a little
bit jealous, thats when the ground is laid for pointless fights.

When you lay your feelings of jealously and admiration out on

the table, however, hell be thinking of you every time another
woman expresses interest in him.

You know Eric, you might not know this about me, but
Im a sucker for affection. When I love someone, I do it
with all my heart and soul. I love the feeling of being in
love, I love the feeling of being around you.

This is yet another exercise in art of not being afraid to admit

things that just about every committed woman in the world
feels every now and then.

Instead of trying to wait for your man to show you affection in

the right way, you can instead just come out right with it and
tell him that you love it when he pays special attention to you.

Youve got to let him know that not only are you a person who
is honestly and fully addicted to the feeling of being loved, but
also that you are specifically captivated by his way of
expressing love for you.

Couples will sometimes spend years just waiting for one

another to pick up on the fact that they love being loved, but
you can take care of that with this phrase instantly.

93
I know that I might seem a little too eager and even
desperate to you, but I just want you to know that Im a
little weak when it comes to matters of the heart and Ill
love you no matter where things go in the future.

Showing that youre aware of how you might be coming off as a

tiny bit eager or desperate will not only be liberating for you,
but also put him at ease by showing that youre conscious of
the possible pitfalls of being overly attached.

You will be exhibiting a mature awareness of what it means to

be codependent, and at the same time, a full consciousness of
your own feelings and how important he is to you as a person.

94
 Chapter 6 Attraction Spinner Phrases.

Can I un-sleep with him? Jennifer asked me with an extremely

worried and slightly desperate expression on her face.

No, you cant, Jennifer. I replied in a very strict tone. There

was no point covering up the blade in cotton, I had to cut down
her misunderstandings for her own good.

Unfortunately, Jennifers hurt feelings just werent going to

make it easy for either of us to cut right down to the root of
what her problem was.

ButI wanted him to like me. I wanted him to appreciate me,

adore me, and more importantly love me.

It was a painful thing to witness, but I could tell that Jennifer

mostly got it at this point she was just coming to terms with
it.

Look, Jennifer, I understand exactly what youre going through,

but feelings just dont have eyes. I said to her.
She looked up at me after I said this, and I could make out a
clearly confused and puzzled expression behind her puffy eyes.

What do you mean? She asked me.

95
If youve been paying attention so far, then you know exactly
what I meant by what I said to Jennifer.

Feelings are completely blind. When a man gets invested in you

because of what he can see and touch and nothing else, then
he may very well be under the influence of a lot of things, but
legitimate feelings are definitely not likely to be one of them.

A man cannot just look at you or me and then make an

executive decision, right then and there, to feel everything that
makes him want to commit to you for the rest of his life.

If a man really wants to be with you, then its going to come

from a place in heart that hes going to find extremely difficult
to fully explain.

Men are capable of many things, but one thing that no man in
history has actually been able to do is look at a woman and
think to themselves Okay! Today, I am going to be allured,
charmed, and seduced by this particular woman.

Thats just not how it works or ever has worked.

Now when Jennifer heard this, she naturally wasnt very happy
about it. The first thing that she did was jump right on up to her
feet like something had possessed her.

96
There was a glint in her eyes that can only be created in the
most spectacular moments of human fury, when mental
floodgates come crashing down and the full wrath of Eros spills
out into the ether with reckless abandon.

In short, Jennifer was pretty mad.

Are you saying that theres no hope at all for me then? Im just
going to be a one-night deal to him and thats it? She asked!

I was attempting to re-dam the broken seal of rage, and I had

to act quickly lest my office get totally obliterated in seconds.

There is hope, Jennifer. Sit back down and just let me finish my
sentence.

Jennifer sat back down, crisis just barely averted. I asked her to
take a deep breath and to listen to my next words as carefully
as possible.

If you want to understand anything about the ways that men

foster and build up legitimate attraction for women, then the
first thing you need to understand is that is a constant process.

Every second that a man is around you, his mind is observing

you like a panoptic eye and coming to multiple conclusions at a
rapid pace they may not all be conclusions that he holds onto,
but they are conclusions all the same, and they carry a real

97
amount of influence regarding the way that he thinks of you.

At this point you already know what a scientific process it is

when a man is overcome by feelings of true attraction towards
you.

When hes getting a real sense of pleasure from being around

you, his body is going to be charging him up with a series of
chemical reactions that compel him to chase after you.

His heart will race and identify you as the acquisition he needs
in order to calm it down.

The inverse of the attraction reaction is true as well. When a

man is feeling put off by you, then thoughts of you are going to
make him feel dull, tired, and agitated.

Hes going to be literally getting slowed down on a molecular

level in order to avoid going after you in any way.

Now heres the serious kicker to this relatively simple truth of

the matter

All of these physiological changes are affected directly by a

dedicated emotion processing mechanism in his brain called the
amygdala.

The amygdala regulates all of his natural fight or flight

mechanisms, and a woman has the power to remotely control

98
this mental component of his in order to get him to either spark
into action or head for the hills.

When you learn how to influence the amygdala, you will

possess the power to get a man to legitimately do just about
anything in the world that you want to influence him to do
you could even get him to see you as more than as casual fling
if the two of you have already hooked up just a little bit
prematurely.

Thats right even if youve already slept with a guy, some

tactful influence on his amygdala can still result in him feeling
that hes the right one for you.

While he may initially be less able than he used to be to feel

strong feelings for you, after employing some amygdala
influence techniques, you can bring him back to square 1 and
far beyond that.

Unfortunately, unlike what Jennifer may have hoped for, you

cannot literally un-sleep with a man once the deed has already
been done fortunately, however, you dont actually have to
un-sleep with a guy in order to bring him back to the point at
which hes more likely to experience legitimate feelings for you
once again.

Once you learn how to point his amygdala in the right direction,
you can put all of your fears about him devaluing you after sex
to bed the principal issue here is, then, how exactly do you
pull this off?

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I order to achieve this considerable feat, what youve got to do
is make it so that you have a firm grip on the mans emotional
temperature.

Emotional temperature is exactly what it sounds like. Youre

going to learn how to effectively tune up the intensity of all of
the inner emotions that the man is feeling in order to get him to
the point at which hes like an over-boiling teapot of emotions.

What were doing here is nothing more than an exercise in pure

physiology.

The more intense his emotions are in relation to you, the more
that his own body is going to be forcing him to take actions that
are conducive to chasing you down and being with you.

Lets just think about this critically for a moment where do

you think all of these romantic feelings come from in the very
first place?

The emotions we experience that lead us to love are mixed

between happiness and anger, but what is the source of those
things in the very first place?

The truth is that before those emotions can even exist, there
has to be a physiological chain reaction that occurs at a
molecular level when you stir up his emotions in order to get
him to feel something more for you, the power of science is on
your side.

100
He will be just about physically incapable of not feeling intense
attraction and love towards you if you have what it takes to
send his amygdala into overdrive on a whim.

He will be at a loss to describe exactly what it is that draws him

to you so powerfully, and yet at the same time, there will be no
doubt in his mind that you are his ultimate mission.

If you really want to be able to benefit from his overclocked

emotions, then your objective should be to aim for as much
variety in emotions as possible.

You dont just want to focus on overloading him with anger or

happiness instead, you should be aiming to give him a mixed
cocktail of emotions that will keep his amygdala active and
guessing at all times.

Think of it in terms of the metabolism. If you take in a steady

and consistent amount of calories every single day, rarely ever
going off by even one, then your metabolism is going to
regulate to that calorie level and learn that it doesnt need to be
as active.

If you constantly mix your diet up between days in which you

eat lightly and days in which you eat heavily, though, your
metabolism will constantly be kicked into high activity.

The variety in the chemistry of your mixed emotional cocktail

will be the key to creating a more powerful chemistry between

101
the two of you.

Can you even imagine just how much more involved and
intimate this is than a man just thinking that you look kind of
hot?

Any man can feel physically attracted to something that

resembles the kind of body he likes even a picture on a
screen or a piece of paper can accomplish that!

If you really want to lead him to a level of attraction towards

you that makes him unable to place his finger on exactly why
hes so draw towards you, then youve got to step up your
game when it comes to triggering his emotions.

So how are you going to be able to trigger these emotions to

the best of your ability? Ive made it easy for you by providing
some very powerful tools for this task that I call Attraction
Spinner Phrases.

Consider the power of these phrases to be based in the power

of Push-Pull theory it basically goes to say that its always
more effective to get something or someone to come to you
rather than trying to force whatever you have onto them.

When you try to push, whatever youre pushing immediately

comes off as highly accessible and much less desirable.

When youre mastered the art of pull, however, the target

102
approaches you under the presumption that whatever you have
to offer is inherently extreme valuable and somewhat exclusive.

With the Push-Pull theory in play here, what youre basically

going to be doing is making it so that you pull and then push.

You are going to pull the man towards you, but as soon as he
gets close enough, you are going to push him away.

His emotional temperature is likely to skyrocket when you do

this. While it will undoubtedly be a very weird thing for him to
experience firsthand, hes going to find himself start to develop
feelings of attraction towards you that you might have never
even thought possible before.

Here are of some of my favorite Attraction Spinner Phrases that

you can use today

Eric, although I really enjoy what we share currently, I

think eventually this needs to stop. I mean, I dont want
things getting too intense between us.
This is a complete double-whammy to the mans feelings that
will leave him reeling in the exact kind of way that we want.

On one end you are expressing that you do enjoy his company
when hes around (pull), but at the same time, youre telling
him that pursuing anything more serious may not be the best
idea (push).

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When a man gets hit by a whammy like this, the stage will be
perfectly set for him to become extremely emotionally active.
The thrill of the chase that he experiences from going after you
will no longer be based entirely on sex, if it ever was before.

Youll have brought him to a point at which both his logical brain
and emotional brain are being equally stimulated and
compelling him to come after you.

I feel really good when we do this, but lately Ive been

getting mixed feelings.
This is essentially a softened version of the first Attraction
Spinner phrase, but it accomplishes the same effect in its own
way.

Instead of it outright slamming him with a double whammy of

appreciation and rejection, in this phrase, youre instead
implying that theres some uncertainty in your heart about
whether or not what the two of you are going through is
completely right.

Rather than just putting your uncertainty out there right in front
of him, youre instead leading him down the path of
understanding that while youre attracted to him, there is the
very real chance of you pushing him away.

When he comes to the realization that things between the two

of you really arent a sure thing, his own anxiety is going to fuel
his emotional cocktail and spur him to act proactively in order

104
to keep you by his side.

In a sense, the relative ambiguity of this phrase helps establish

an even stronger effect by leaving him at the mercy of his own
uncertainty as to what the meaning of what youre saying is.

Eric, although youre an amazing man, but I am starting

to feel a little friction & it makes me feel weird. Sorry!
But can we please take a break from this?
Now once again, with this phrase, you arent outright rejecting
him but you are definitely throwing a corkscrew into the mix
thats going to take him out of any comfort zone he had in his
perception of a relationship between the two of you.

Its fine and well for a man to feel comfortable with you and
appreciated by you, but at the same time, you cannot let things
get to the point at which hes so comfortable with you that he
actually becomes complacent in his feelings, which will
eventually kill the attraction.

When you say that youd like to take a break, you are pushing
him away with the hanging implication that it just might be
permanent.

This immediately follows you telling him that you think hes an
incredible man before saying that youve got a bad feeling
about the chemistry between the two of you.

Its a powerful, understated double-whammy that gets under

his skin by virtue of its ambiguity.

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Eric, both of us wanted to keep it strictly sexual, but I
feel that things are getting too intense between us. Can
we please take a break? I dont want to get too deep into
this.
Now this is an extremely meta Attraction Spinner that hes
highly unlikely to see coming.

Men are more or less aware of the fact that certain women are
less receptive to strictly sexual relationships than others, but
very few of them are ever prepared for a woman to outright
admit that she only ever wanted to keep things physical.

On top of that, even when he gets over the impact of your

outright honesty at a sexual relationship, hes going to be blown
away yet again by your admission to feeling that things are
getting too intimate between the two of you.

Hell likely expect you to want things to be more emotional by

default, and so with this, you shatter the shelter of his illusions
and send his high-octane emotions into overdrive.

Once again, you highlight your uncertainty about the nature of

the relationship by saying that youd like to take a break.

This is so that theres no concrete implication that you want

things to be over forever, which acts as a pull, but still definitely
functions as a powerful push that will challenge him.

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Eric, were doing too much of this lately, can we please
slow down a little? Youve started treating me like your
girlfriend.
If things between him and you have been progressing at a rate
that led him to believe that things were legitimately getting
serious between the two of you, then this phrase right here is
going to send him for one of the grandest loops that Attraction
Spinner phrases are capable of creating.

If he ever thought that things between you were a sure deal,

then outright stating that you think youre too close to seeming
like his girlfriend will be enough to make him start seriously
wondering what the difference between right and left is.

The push component of this Attraction Spinner isnt as overtly

strong as the others, but seeing as its to be used on a man
that believes the two of you are more or less already in a
relationship, it still serves its purpose handily.

Eric, I enjoy the physical moments we spend together,

but I think you are starting to take it too seriously, can
we please slow down a bit?
Simply telling a man to slow down, sometimes, can be enough
to get him to start panicking about whether or not youre
legitimately into him anymore or not.

Men love to put on a front of security and confidence, but

beneath it all, their amygdala is constantly making them afraid
of just about anything related to female approval that theyre
not one hundred percent certain of.

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By directly mentioning the physicality aspect of the relationship,
you will prevent him from making the false assumption that the
best way to get things back on track with you is to be more
sexual.

When faced with a statement like this, the man is going to be

faced with the reality that the only way hes going to be able to
claim you is if you approaches you on a level that isnt explicitly
physical.

Even though youre indirectly instructing him to care more

about the deeper things, you arent denying that you enjoy the
physical aspects either this Attraction Spinner is both an
exercise in emotional stimulation and honesty.

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 Chapter 7 Obey Me Phrases

Have you ever found yourself actually trying to control your

man in some way, shape or form? If youve ever tried to control
your man, then youre not alone.

Just about every committed woman in the world, at some point,

makes an effort to control the way that her man is thinking or
acting in some way, shape or form.

It may seem like a bit of a stretch for me to make a statement

like this, but here me out, Ive dealt with many women who
have come to me as clients, expressing a want for something
they desire from their man that they just arent getting.

The thing that theyre after could be anything from love, to

attention, to perhaps even just being a tad bit more interested
in a backyard project that she happens to be working on.

Whatever the thing in particular is that these women want in

particular, they are often left thinking to themselves, if only.

If only he would spend more time with me, they think.

If only he would just show me that he loved me a little bit more,

they think.

If only he would just tell me that he loves me more than he

already does, they think.

If only he would just stop being a lazy bum and get off the

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couch just once a year, they pray.

We could go over the list of possible if only statements for

several calendar years if we really wanted to, but at the end of
the day, all that really matters is that you understand just how
common it is for a woman to just wish something about her
man could be manually adjusted for the better.

Something else that you should understand is that there is

absolutely nothing wrong with desiring just a little bit more
from your relationship than you already have thats
completely natural.

What you truly need to be concerned with is the way that you
choose to go about approaching your man in order to achieve
that objective that you have in mind.

A lot of women think that the answer to getting their man to

adopt a certain kind of behavior is as simple as just being as
nice to him as possible, and while this may not necessarily be
wrong, its very rare that this approach actually works.

What these women expect is that if theyre nice enough to their

men over an extended period in time, their men will eventually
notice it and return the favor in kind sooner than later.

While these intentions are innocent enough, what often winds

up happening when these women dont get what theyre after
right away is that theyll fly off completely in the opposite
direction theyll resort to bitter nagging, insulting, and even
worse, outright manipulation to try and deceive their man into
getting what they want.

The more aggressive methods may in fact wind up being

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successful every now and then, but their effects are rarely ever
actually permanent.

At the end of the day, the women who use these dishonest
methods will just wind up feeling extremely frustrated and
burned out at the results.

You can really only press a man so far before he starts to sense
that hes being pushed and decides to push back.

There are few things that people hate more than the sense that
someone else is actively trying to control their behavior, and so
when a man catches onto a woman trying to do this to him,
almost nothing can destroy the relationship more swiftly.

Heres the deal you can very well get your man to do the
things that you want him to do, but attempting to manipulate
him into doing it is never the answer.

The best way to go about getting satisfied is to lead your man

in the direction of doing whats in line with your desires while
influencing him in such a way that he thinks it was all his idea.

Even if sounds like its a little bit sneaky, you neednt worry
yourself all that youll be doing is finding a more cohesive,
effective, and non-offensive way to get your relationship needs
met on a day-to-day basis.

Now before we really break into the most effective ways to

accomplish exactly what Im talking about here, we have to
clarify just exactly why going about things in this way is exactly
what you need.

The key reason that you need to go about things in this manner

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is due to the fact that there are only two key ways that a man
can be motivated to do something:

A man can be motivated in a negative way or in a

positive way.

When you want your man to do something for you, then youre
going to need to motivate him on a level that matters.

The ways in which a man can be motivated most powerfully are

the super-negative and the super-positive spectrums were
going to be diving into the art of accomplishing things in the
positive way.

When you try to deceive your man into acting in the way youd
like through deception, nagging or coercion, youre negatively
charging him up this is exactly what wed like to try avoiding
if theres any way that we can help it.

Positive motivation, which is going to be the thing that we focus

on most intensely here, is the opposite of negative motivation,
and thats why were going to be focusing on it so intensely.

When a man is experiencing the full extent of his most positive

emotions, hes going to be liable to see the brighter side of just
about anything that you desire him to do for you.

Hes going to follow through on the things that you suggest to

him due to them all seeming like a genuine act of pleasure and
not just a command.

When your man has come to associate all of the things that you
ask of him as acts of pleasure and not just commands, hell
need to be motivated less and less in the future.

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Youre not going to be experiencing even the slightest bit of
doubt or friction from him if youre able to effectively arouse
nothing but the most positive emotions from deep within his
heart.

Over time, hes going to start feeling a wave of positive

reinforcement wash over him every time he does something
thats congruent with your general wishes the best way to
describe a scenario such as this is a genuine win-win situation.

Above all else, you need to understand that the feelings we

have on a day-to-day basis are the things that drive our
ambition.

We seek out all of the things that weve come to associate with
feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. On the other hand,
anything that gives us pain is something that we are wired to
avoid at all costs.

So what do we call this technique that centers around

maximizing pleasure and minimizing displeasure?

The name we use to refer to this is the Indirect-Direct

technique.

With the power of the Indirect-Direct technique, youre basically

going to put the odds in your favor when it comes to getting
what you desire from your relationship.
In the arena that well create, youre going to essentially have
your man identify what you desire as the best possible decision,
without having to nag or argue even once.

The formula can be effectively broken down to this:

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Your suggestion + A strong reason WHY + optional
benefit = Persuasion

This formula can be broken down into three phases. It will be

three steps that can be followed through just as easily as your
everyday instruction booklet.

The steps are organized as follows:

1. Illustrate exactly what it is that youd like him to do, with a

suggestion.

2. Provide strong reasons why doing what youd like him to is

a wise plan of action.

3. Show him a benefit that he would gain should he follow

through with your request fully.

With nothing more than this basic and highly effective formula,
you can essentially ensure that your man does exactly what you
want him to with almost no delay.

Heres a simple example to illustrate exactly why this three-step

process works as effectively as it does.

Now lets just imagine for a moment that youd like your man to
just take you out somewhere nice to eat for a change.

You could just outright ask him to take you out to eat and leave
it at that, but chances are that its not going to be extremely
likely to work the way that you wanted it to.

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Now lets imagine an alternate route in which you dont just
hope for him to say yes to your request.

In this more proactive approach, you could simply say

something like Honey, Im extremely tired today and dont
really feel like cooking. Do you mind if we eat out tonight? Oh
and by the way, Ive already got a 50% off coupon for {insert
restaurant here}.

Now lets just take a moment to appreciate the differences in

going about asking your man to take you out to eat in the way
weve just illustrated, instead of just up and asking him without
anything else added to the request.

For one, just take a moment to appreciate the power of the

second line its much more powerful because youve
illustrated the fact that youre already got a coupon ready for
the occasion.

The reason that this technique just so happens to work as well

as it does is due to the fact that its actually augmented by a
valid reason and not just your own request left alone.

Statistically, humans are about ten times more likely to go

through with a request when theyve been given a legitimately
valid reason to follow through with it.

When were just asked to do something for the sake of obeying

the whim of another person, were going to be extremely loath
to do it if that person doesnt outright force us to or doesnt
possess some extreme kind of over-arching authority.

We dont appreciate being told to do something without a

reason due to the fact that it just brims with the implication

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that whoever made the request is only doing it in order to
control us or, even yet more offensively, separate us from our
right to our own free will.

When we simply provide a strong reason why a person should

do what we ask, the person that we ask is going to be far more
likely to independently rationalize why going through with the
request is the best course of action that they could elect to
follow through with.

One of the main things that a person considers when being told
to do something is whats in it for them if they agree to
acquiesce to the request.
By using the above technique, you essentially guarantee that
the mans question of whats in it for me is already answered
before he even has a chance to ask it himself.

What youre essentially doing is eliminating the objection before

it can even arise, and after that happens, you have what is
essentially a straightaway path to exactly what it is that youre
after.

Now it doesnt take a great deal of critical thought in order to

understand exactly why its so effective add an optional benefit
into the mix when youre using a technique like this its truly
like a no-brainer when you get right down to it.

Lets take another look back to the example I provided before,

in which I asked you to imagine that you wanted to find out a
way to make your man more likely to take you out somewhere
nice to eat once and while.

Youll recall that the second line in the hypothetical phrase

example mentioned having a 50%-off coupon ready to go for
the restaurant of your choice, immediately after expressing

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your desire to your man to go somewhere nice.

Since the 50% discount coupon immediately lets your man

know that hell benefit from saving money if he goes along with
what you desire, he wont be wondering whats in it for me
after youve made your desire to be taken to the restaurant
known.

Now of course you must be aware, the optional benefit step is

not always one hundred percent necessary in order to see the
Indirect-Direct technique succeed.

As a matter of fact, there may very well be some case scenarios

in which you dont actually have to mention any benefits at all
in order to get the man to go along with whatever your
particular desire may be.

If you simply provide an extremely strong reason to go along

with your request, then it may not even be necessary to
mention any additional benefit after youve made your desire
known.

Heres an example of a little something that you might be able

to do in order to make it so you can still have your request
gone along with, without necessarily even having to mention
any kind of extra benefit after youve made your particular
request.

Lets say that youd really like your man to start calling you a
lot more often than he currently does your very first instinct
may be to say something to the effect of, Honey, can you
please call me daily instead of once or twice a week?

Now while there certainly isnt anything inherently wrong with

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voicing your concern in that particular fashion, but theres
definitely a more persuasive way that you could go about
making your desire known.

Instead of just asking him to call you more often at a specific

time that your explicitly indicate, you could make things a little
more effective by going the extra mile and illustrating an
extremely powerful reason why he should be calling you more
often in the very first place.

For instance, you could try asking it in a way such as:

Honey, can we please talk daily on the phone because, hearing

from you, makes me feel really good, and Id love to hear from
you every single day if its okay with you.

Now doesnt that seriously sound a whole lot more powerful

than just asking him to call you without offering anything else
behind it?

Of course a man who is right for you will already be more or

less inclined to call you on a regular basis, but were only
human, and sometimes we might forget the more important
things.

If you want to steer him further in the direction of not

forgetting to call you on a frequent basis, you help your case by
not making it sounds like a chore.

Now you may or may not have noticed this right away, but did
you take note of how the second part of the sentence cued your
man in on a hidden benefit?

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With that single sentence, you have all three parts of the
Indirect-Direct formula working powerfully in your favor.

This technique is anything but something that only works on

men that youre in a committed relationship with.

You could use this technique in your day-to-day conversations

with everyone that you come across, and Ive prepared a few
examples in order to illustrate just how easy it can be.

Normal Request After applying the formula

Honey, can you please help
me clean the house?
Honey, can you please help
me clean the house today, as
Ive been working since the last
3 hours, and dont think I can
do it all on my own?

Can you please pick me up

Can you pick me up from work
from work today as its been
today?
quite some time since weve
gone out together? Maybe we
could go to your favorite
restaurant as well.

Would you come to my friends My friend is throwing a party

party? next week, and Id love to take
you there. I want all my friends
to finally see how great my
boyfriend truly is.

Can you please hold me for a

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Can you please hold me for a while? I just feel an amazing
while? sense of calm, and security
when you hold me. It
something I just cant explain.

Can we please talk a little

longer? Im having work
Can we please talk a little
related issues, and talking to
longer?
you makes me feel better.

By now youve probably got more than solid idea of exactly why
this technique works as well as it does, but you might
understandably be wondering What should I do if he still says
no to my request after Ive asked him nicely and offered
benefits?

Your first objective should be to remain as calm as possible and

refrain from pushing further.

After youve kept your cool, you need to take inventory of any
rational reasons you can think of as to why it didnt work out in
the way you had hoped heres a quick list of some possible
reasons.

1. Your request was unreasonable

Of course it would be absolutely lovely if your man dedicated all
of his free time to thinking of ways to please you better, but
hes human and needs his own space just like the rest of us.

There may not be an objective measure of what is and isnt

reasonable, but make sure you consider his rights when you
think of the request.

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2. Improper timing
Timing is of the utmost important when it comes to having him
be the most considerate of your request.

Whether he had a good day or a bad day could be the

difference between a yes or a no.

If hes got a huge day ahead of him, it would be wise to refrain

from issuing random requests.

3. Going against your basest instincts about what he will

and wont do

It is absolutely imperative that you always remain one hundred

percent aware of all of your mans personal boundaries and
limits before you even consider making a request of him.

If you know that your man is just personally not inclined to do a

certain think as a principle of who he is, even if it seems
insignificant to you, it would be wise to not try to push him into
it this will backfire frighteningly quickly.

Now what weve covered the basic components of the Indirect-

Direct method and all of the other sensible concepts, its time to
crack into a new concept in the next chapter that you just might
find a little bit unconventional!

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Chapter 8 Emotional Transparency Phrases.

Have you ever been in the company of man who just seems to
appear as though he was born with an inability to express his
feelings?

Did it seem as if he was incapable of expressing how he felt

about the most important things in his life?

As discouraging as it may be, a lot of men out there are

suffering from stunted emotional maturity that renders them
highly incapable of being in touch with their own feelings it
doesnt mean that they dont have their feelings, but at the
same time, their emotional challenges can be troublesome
when it makes them keep vital things hidden from you.

Ever since we established our very first societies and organized

cultures, men have been groomed for the fulfillment of certain
roles: organizers, leaders, providers, warriors, hunters, fathers,
and providers.

Men have had so many power-central expectations levied upon

them for so many years that, in todays world, an emotionally
open man is an extremely rare thing.

When faced with the thought of revealing those emotions that

theyre so accustomed to keeping locked up inside at all times,
many mens very first course of action is to keep those weaker
emotions sealed up inside an airtight locker where they hope
they cant be perceived.

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You can blame it on our ancestors if you want, but at the end of
the day, theres no point in trying to deny the effects of history.

The weapons men use to defend the mighty male ego are
stubborn and heavy tools indeed, and so it will take nothing
short of a great deal of work or very good strategy to bypass
them thats why Im here to provide you with a solution!

A lot of men were raised in order to exhibit higher degrees of

strength and emotional stability, while other men were raised in
order to recognize the fullest extent of what it means to be a
provider for the rest of the clan.

The mans historically different standards that he was held to

cannot be disregarded, and the effect that it had on most mens
emotional behavior will be the main focus of this chapter.

Our history as the human race sings the praises of men who led
hundreds of under-armed soldiers against thousands of the
better-armed masses, heads raised high in spite of the threat of
destruction at all times.

Now how different would gender perception be today if the

history books were instead filled with stories about how
warlords were terribly afraid of spiders, to the point of curling
up in a ball in the corner and going into shock.

Probably not the best way to establish a powerful reputation

that resounds throughout the halls of space, time and history.

There are some men who even represent the end of a long
generational line of sons being taught by their guardians to
never trust any woman that they come across.

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There are plenty of men who have had the distaste for any of all
signs of weakness drilled so far into their ancestry that they
detest the idea of expressing any signs of fear or sadness as if
those emotions were actually lethal poisons instead of simple
feelings.

Theres just no getting around the fact that there are tons of
men in the world who rather go to the grave being considered
unfeeling beasts rather than vulnerable human beings.

At the end of the day, however, there is no one who actually

enjoys the feeling of being emotionally repressed all of the
time. He does experience these negative feelings, and he is
simply in a perpetual battle to keep them swept under the
carpet for as long as he can manage.

To tarnish his image as an unbreakable statue of manliness and

power would be like a fate worse than death, in his mind- you
can consider this a condition that was brought on by society
itself.

Even though anxiety and fear are natural bodily functions, we

live in world in which emotion is associated with a lack of
dependability by man people who dont know any better.

A man doesnt want to be interpreted as the kind of person who

cant be counted on in the clutch.

A man wants to feel like he has what it takes to be in control at

all time, immune to the ebbs and flows of natural fear and
dread, like stone that lets storm-thrown waves crash up against
its body without a single scratch.

If you compare a man to the high stone in the ocean

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weathering crashing waves, you need to be aware of the fact
that just because he lets those waves crash down on him
doesnt mean hes actually immune to them he very well
could be, and often is crumbling on the inside.

At constant odds with the risk of revealing his vulnerability and

compromising the macho identity that no one takes as seriously
as he himself does, the man is generally unaware of just how
good it could feel to just be a little bit more emotionally
transparent in his daily life.

In this chapter, you are going to learn what it takes to have a

man break out of his emotionally locked-down shell and enter
the Emotional Transparency phase.

In the Emotional Transparency phase, your man is going to be

able to have a kind of openness with you that he seldom feels
comfortable enough to allow himself to experience with other
women.

No matter how much he tries to build himself up as an uncaring

brute, as we mentioned before, men cannot fight off the
programming within them that makes them susceptible to
wanting to be the hero for a female in need.

The generations of upbringing that have molded the male

archetype have made him into a natural-born provider.

In terms of upbringing, we really need to observe the dual

standard between how little boys and little girls are treated in
their times of distress.

Usually, when a little girl is crying about something, hearts all

around her shatter to pieces and waves of people rush to her

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aid.

What happens when a boy is stressed out enough by something

to start crying, though?

Chances are that when a little boy starts to cry about

something, instead of being lent a sympathetic ear, hell be
reprimanded and told to toughen up instead this fundamental
difference in upbringing can seriously mean the difference
between two entirely distinct dimensions.

The imposition of this walk it off mentality has serious effects of

a male that is coming of age, and you can see the effects any
time that a man is adamant about not needing any help with
something that theyre clearly struggling with.

Oftentimes a man will be at odds between the advice hes heard

to listen to his instincts, which are fueled by his emotions
directly, and the expectations that so many other people have
of him to remain constantly stoic and uninfluenced by the ebbs
and flows of his heart.

Choosing to remain unemotional, in a way, is really many mens

way of just erring on the side of caution youre going to have
to see past this flawed logic if your goal is to have a successful
and cohesive relationship.

When emotional stifling is so deep-seated in a boys everyday

life that he sees little to no other recourse than to reject them
altogether, theres no way that it wont affect just about any
relationship that he finds himself in as a grown man if you
happen to be in relationship with such a man, then theres a
couple of things you can do in order to mitigate the
consequences.

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Now for a moment, picture that you and your man have just
gotten into a particularly nasty fight and are both feeling pretty
emotionally exhausted from the bulk of it.

You both said things to one another that you regret, and
eventually things got so out of control that you both more or
less just elected to walk away and leave the argument hanging.

Now after this happens, you might naturally be tempted to

revisit the argument and see if theres any chance at reconciling
after the gravity of the fight.

The issue that you might run into, however, may be that your
man expresses little to no interest in actually acknowledging the
fight as a matter of fact, he may actually decide that its
better to just pretend that the fight never happened at all.

Instead of actually acknowledging the obvious conflict that has

occurred, the man may instead find it more appealing to bury
himself in either his responsibilities or something that that he
finds more enjoyable than focusing on whatever the two of you
were arguing about in the very first place.

Naturally, this makes a lot of women want to rip their hair of

their heads by the roots.

It leads to tears, dissatisfaction, and a lot of bitterness that

could wind up being extremely destructive if it isnt pent up and
compounded after the fact.

Couples that have been through extremely stressful periods

with one another, due to the man being emotionally stunted,
may find that there is a definite imbalance in the amount of
stress experienced by the woman and the man.

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The stress will generally stick with the woman for a longer
period of time than it sticks with the man.

Even though the stress will tend to stick with us longer than it
sticks with men, it doesnt mean that women are any bit
mentally weaker than men are thats not any more truthful
than the farce so many men believe in that their emotional
constipation makes them stronger.

The fact of the matter is that we need to account for the fact
that there are likely going to be some challenges that men have
to face in regards to their emotional expressiveness, and now,
you may have a better idea of just exactly why that is

Moving forward, were going to be discussing the power of

several types of phrases that can be used to let your guy know
that its okay for him to emotionally express himself to you
these are what were going to call Emotional Transparency
phrases.

With Emotional Transparency phrases, you can essentially give

a guy the green light to share everything thats on his mind
with you, even if hes not one hundred percent sure about how
hell be received because of it.

Emotional transparency is all about establishing yourself as a

strong emotional comfort zone for your man, which will bring
you closer together.

The term for these phrases that are meant to increase the
openness with which your man divulges his feelings are what
we are going to refer to as Emotional Transparency phrases,
and should you master them well, you will be able to
understand him a lot more easily than you ever could before.

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Here are some examples of phrases that you might find helpful
in digging deeper into your mans capacity to be completely
emotionally candid with you.

Eric, I wanted to tell you that I love & respect you

deeply, although we have our ups and downs but youre
still the man I look up to. Although I know its hard for
you, but I need you to know that you could share
anything with me and be assured that Ill never judge
you for anything.
Believe it or not, most men are absolutely horrified of the
prospect of a woman simply judging them for not living up to
the impossible standard of never being affected by anything
slightly disheartening or sad.

You can take a great deal of weight off your mans mind by
acknowledging the fact that you know hes probably going
through a lot, while at the same time, stroking his ego just a
little by expressing how much you admire him for the qualities
he possesses that he can be proud of.

You can show that you care about him in spite of whenever he
may exhibit some tendencies that show a chink in the armor
that he works so hard to keep up at all times, which will do a
great deal to invite him to be a lot more honest and raw with
you instead of just bottling things up inside whenever he feels
uncomfortable.

Eric! I know you love me a lot & I can feel it in the way
you look at me, the way you warmly hold me but as a
woman, some part of me still craves to hear what you
truly feel about me. Please know that even if you dislike
certain things about me, Id like you to please share it

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with me without fearing any judgment.
As long as you are in something that resembles a committed
relationship with a man, he will be thinking about how you are
receiving all of the signs he tries to send out that he cares for
you without explicitly stating it outright.

It takes a great deal of effort for many men to outright say they
care, and so naturally, they try to compensate for this by
making a point to express the ways that they feel in as many
other subtle ways as possible.

Whenever your man does something that brims with the

implications of his feelings for you, even if he doesnt outright
verbalize it, make sure you let him know that the message was
received in full.

He may not be completely ready to open up about how afraid

he is of appearing vulnerable in front of you, but he will
appreciate your choice to refrain from judging him for any kind
of perceived weakness.

Eric! I wanted to let you know how proud I am to have a

husband/boyfriend like you. Lately, Ive noticed that
youre a lot more distant and honestly, if there is
something I could do to help you or if you would like to
talk about it, Id really appreciate it. However, if you
need some distance, then I completely understand and
Ill be around whenever you need me.
A man is constantly thinking about just how well he stacks up
to all of the other husbands and boyfriends in the world that
represent standards for the ways that women like you are
supposed to be treated, and if hes doing a good job, you have
to let him know that.

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If he starts to act like hes withdrawing, something you
positively do not want to do is try and force him to be more
open around you. Weve already discussed what the pitfalls of
trying to force your man to do something are, so by now, I trust
you know to avoid pursuing such a course of action.

All that you have to do is give him the invitation to open up to

you when hes ready, while still showing some respect by giving
him the proper space to deal with his issues on his own terms
until some sort of inner peace has been achieved in his heart.

Eric, today I wanted to let you know that youre an

amazing boyfriend/husband and even more amazing
man. I enjoy everything youve given me and I am
thankful to be in your life. I was just a little concerned as
lately youve been a lot more inside your head and just
wanted to let you know that Im here for you anytime
you need me.
Just like the phrases before, this phrase invites your man to
place in which he can fully divulge all of his doubts, fears and
hopes to you without any anxiety related to being thought less
of because of it at the end of the day.

Showing gratitude for what your man has been doing to create
a better life for the two of you will make it less likely that he
feels he has to uphold maximum rigidness in the persona he
adopted in order to become the best possible man in your eyes
as weve already gone over in previous sections, all men want
to be looked at as heroes at the end of the day.

Eric, I dont just see you as my boyfriend/husband, I

actually also see you as my best friend! Youve cared for
me, adored me & have been there for me unconditionally.
I just wanted to let you know that Id really love it if you

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could open a little bit more around me emotionally. I
know its not the easiest thing to do when I am being so
demanding of you, but please understand that it would
truly make me feel loved if you opened up more.

Now this is easily one of the most powerful ways that you can
really get on track to having your man feel a lot more right
about expressing his feelings for you without the fear of being
judged by you at the end of the day.

When you make a statement like this, one of the best effects is
that you are transcending the expectations levied upon the two
of you by the official positions of being a boyfriend and
girlfriend or husband and wife.

Telling your man that you simply appreciate him for all that he
offers you and the rest of the world as a whole will make him
more prone to emotionally opening up to you due to the fact
that the two of you will be able to connect more in terms of just
being people who appreciate one another instead of it being his
job to be approved of by you.

Exhibiting care and admiration for your man, while maintaining

adequate distance when he becomes distant, will summon the
full power of Emotional Transparency phrases.

As long as you act consistent in exercising this attitude, you will

eventually come to a point at which there is nothing your man
is afraid to share with you.

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 Chapter 9 Love Cocktail Phrases

Now if I had to take a wild guess, Id have to say that at some

point or another youve found yourself in a situation in which
you were with a man who only seemed to be pushing you away
further and further by the day.

Chances are that you had absolutely no idea why he was being
so cold to you and wasnt making a great effort to enlighten you
as to what the source of his coldness was.

As he ignored you and talked to you less than a rock talks to

the wall, all that you could do was wonder whether or not he
was even in the same world as you or off in his own dimension.

Of course you want to see if theres any way that you could
perhaps simply just talk to him and figure out what it is thats
got him acting like an astronaut, but you eventually give in due
to the fact that its like he doesnt understand your language.

As the days go by, it appears that your man is increasingly

more interested in whats on TV or surfing the Internet instead
of knowing whats happening in your life.

You want to see if theres any possible way that you might be
able to get him to want to be alone with you for once instead of
just going out with his buddies, but youre lucky if you can get
an answer thats delivered with more than just a single syllable.

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The memories of the last time that he hugged you or
passionately kissed you seem to fade further into the ambiguity
of your most obscure memories, and eventually theyre flung so
far back behind you that you wonder if you might have just
been imagining it all along.

Seeing his back eventually becomes a more familiar sight than

actually seeing his face, and you are at an absolute loss to
reverse things by reaching out to him.

At some point, even though it may hurt to acknowledge, you

come to realize that his shift in treatment of you didnt just pop
up out of nowhere.

You come to realize that at a certain point, you could actually

sense his dwindling attraction for you occurring in the pit of
your gut and simply didnt want to acknowledge it when you
sensed it for the very first time.

At a certain point, it becomes completely impossible to deny

that which you were painfully aware of all along deep in your
heart your man was planning on ending things between the
two of you, and in a sense, you could even say that he already
had.

It may not be a pleasant thing to think about, but truth be told,

a relationship actually can be ended even when two people
havent necessarily gone through the motions of officially
breaking up all it takes is for one partner to stop investing the

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amount of care into the relationship that is necessary to
maintain a cohesive, mentally beneficial bond with one another.

When your man has withdrawn to a certain point, then there is

the chance that he is actually coming to terms with how he
wants to work out the details of leaving you for good.

Ideally he would actually tell you about this upfront, but

unfortunately, that only happens all of the time in a perfect
world a lot of women who wind up in this position actually
just end up coming home one day to find themselves suddenly
single.

You would at least hope to get some kind of Dear Jane letter to
clarify things fully, but many women who are unceremoniously
dumped dont even get the courtesy of a poorly-written letter to
explain what factors led to them getting kicked to the curb
without any warning.

One of the worst feelings in the world can be when you already
have been left and you just simply cannot, for the life of you,
understand at exactly what point everything between you and
your ex went south.

You want to know if theres anything specific that you may have
done to make things turn out the way that they did, but all it
seems that you can do is draw a blank and grow increasingly
distressed with the way that things turned out between you and
him in the end.

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You would like nothing more than to at least know if the truth
may actually be that he was just seeing someone else on the
side during the time that you were under the impression that
there was still something going on between the two of you, and
yet the catharsis of having that simple explanation just
continually avoids you.

Try as you might, you just cant seem to place your finger on
anything that might have reasonably led to him losing so much
faith the relationship that the two of you had, with little to no
prompting or incident.

He hadnt become extremely ill, he wasnt dealing with a

massive amount of stress at work, and from what you could
remember, there was nothing that had happened that would
make him angry with you yet he still left.

Now even though this extremely unfortunate scenario is

anything but uncommon, there are lots of women who make
massive mistakes in their attempts to rectify the situation.

Here are several of the things that you absolutely must refrain
from doing at all costs if you truly want to take a shot at
salvaging your relationship when it reaches its darkest hour.

Mistake One Trying to convince him to love you or stay

with you
Weve already talked a great deal about what it means for a
man to experience true love and how futile it is to try and

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convince a man to love or like you.

Despite my advice and mountains of evidence available out

there for all women to observe, theres just always a good
amount of women out there who are convinced that they can
save their relationships if they just present a list of adequate
reasons.

When you try and go about getting your man to become

involved with you again in a manner such as this, the only thing
youre doing is dragging yourself back to square one and
depriving yourself of any chances at being treated as person
that deserves self-respect.

If he didnt like you before, then you can be one-hundred

percent certain that begging for his attention is not going to
make him any more attracted to you.

Becoming needy and desperate when youve been cut loose will
only send him flying in the opposite direction at an even swifter
pace than how he moved when he left in the very first place.

Its an utterly useless strategy, which is why its so

disheartening that there appears to be such a massive volume
of women who make it the most popular strategy for trying to
win their exes back.

One thing that you will be accomplishing is making it so that he

can more plainly see the pain of your desperation as he
becomes more resolute in the decision to leave, and thats

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certainly not any better than him just leaving altogether.

Mistake Number Two Overcompensating with

unnaturally generous pampering
Youre not going to be able to get your man to stay for the right
reasons by trying too hard to do absolutely everything under
the sun for him when you feel hes growing distant from you.

If hes showing signs that he wants things between the two of

you to be over, then dont attempt to win him over by making
yourself into an indentured servant with benefits dressing up
sexy, constantly making meals, or doing mundane tasks for him
is only going to exhaust you and make you even more prone to
the heartbreak that will result from his eventual departure.

Contrary to popular belief, a relationship is actually not a

constant flow of give and take transactions.

If you want your relationship to work, so to speak, then you

need to account for the fact that you are not always actually
going to get a one hundred percent return for everything that
you put into the relationship itself.

It may seem a bit cruel, but if you can make peace with the
concept of giving more than youre guaranteed to get, then
youll be a lot less broken up inside when a man leaves.

Mistake Number Three Blaming him for everything

This third mistake is generally only committed when a woman is

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at the end of her rope and has just about lost any hope she had
left of positively resolving things between she and the man that
left them.

When the blame game phase is entered, the woman is basically

thinking that if she can make the man blame himself as much
as she blames him, he might change his mind and decide to try
making amends.

All that you accomplish when you do this is confirm for your
man that leaving you was the correct course of action at the
end of the day. Who wants to be committed to someone who is
criticizing them constantly?

A man doesnt want to have to be with an overly critical partner

any more than they want to be with a woman who begs them to
stay like a needy beggar.

If you want your man to be there with you to stay, then youre
going to have to show him that you value him. There is a
difference between expressing that you value your man and
expressing that you absolutely need his company, all of the
time, like an addict.

Do not mistake an overabundance of giving with increased

chances of keeping your man longer, and dont resort to
codependent behavior when you think the odds may not be in
your favor. These strategies are all pretty much synonymous
with shooting yourself in the foot.

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If you want to take a shot at getting your man back thats
actually based in logic and could feasibly work, then I have
something highly valuable for you.

Instead of trying to convince your man to stay in a relationship

with you, what I can show you are the best ways to utilize an
extremely effective secret language that will appeal directly to
your mans subconscious mind.

When you learn how to effectively appeal to your mans

subconscious mind, youll be able to resurrect those old feelings
that he had for you before growing distant, and hell also be
more likely to decide that its a good idea to stay with you.

Now, lets get started

As human beings, we are programmed to take things for
granted as we become increasingly used to having them, and
relationships are no exception to the rule.

Unless you know how to keep him interested by constantly

raising up feelings of appreciation and desire within him,
chances are that youre going to end up losing him when those
initial feelings of attachment wear off.

Even in the absolute best of all circumstances, you have to

absolutely see to it that you dont neglect staying on top of
triggering his feelings of appreciation for you whenever
possible.

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If you can keep on planting seeds in his mind that grow into
reasons for him to desire you ever more, theres a lot less of a
chance that youll wind up losing him.

Lets just take a moment to think about the very air that we
breathe into our lungs on a daily basis. We can go for weeks
without food, days without water, but wont last much longer
than minute without any air.

Air is probably the single most important factor in our survival,

but ironically, youll find very few people instinctively rate air
near the top of their list of things that are vital for survival.

Can you imagine how awful it would be if pockets of airless

space just started popping up all over the globe without
warning?

Can you fathom how much worse your life would be if you
suddenly had to worry at all times about suddenly not being
able to inhale?

Any time, any place, without any warning at all, you could
suddenly find yourself without even the slightest bit of air.

Now take a deep breath right now and relish in the security of
how available air is to you chances are that breath you took
seemed just a little bit sweeter than most of the other breaths
youve taken this week.

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We take air for granted so often due to the fact of just how
incredibly accessible it is.

We literally cannot live without air, but because there is such an

immeasurably high amount of it around us at all times, we dont
spend nearly as much time expressing our gratitude for it as we
do the millions of other things in our world that arent quite as
numerous as air molecules.

Now think of your partner. If we can take air itself for granted
because of how accessible it is, what would make anyone think
that their partner wouldnt ever get tired of them?

The more you constantly chase a guy around, the more

accessible youre going to be appearing to him as a result. The
more accessible you appear, the less valuable hes going to
perceive your company as being thats just the way that it
works.

Never imprison a man with your company. The last thing that
your partner desires is being tethered to something hes
powerless to escape from, like a ball and chain effect.

Refrain from being desperate if you dont want to come off as a

person with whom commitment is comparable to a lifetime jail
sentence.

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How to win him back
When it comes to most of the things that people do, the fear of
losing something generally wins out over the potential pleasure
of working in order to attain something.

When people fear that something may be slipping out of their

grasp, they will fight tooth and nail to preserve their ownership
for it in a way that eclipses even how hard they fought to attain
that very thing in the first place.

I cant tell you exactly why the building blocks of human

psychology have made things this way, but all I can tell you is
that its something you have to understand fully if you want to
get to the point at which you understand what it takes to win
back a man.

Do you know why it is that so many women find it

excruciatingly difficult to just drop their relationships with
abusive partners, even when the concept of remaining in the
relationship threatens their very lives?

Its because the fear of losing the security of a relationship,

even one thats more dangerous than nurturing, is too
frightening for the abused women to bear.

On the flipside, you can use the human tendency of fearing any
sort of loss to your advantage in terms of finding a way to get
your man back.

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Essentially, all that youre really going to be doing is creating a
legitimate sense of anxiety in his mind that makes him dread
the emptiness that will accompany a choice to leave you.

Heres an example of something you could say that could create

that fear of loss pretty effectively:
Honey! I think weve grown distant lately & need some
space. I can see that you arent comfortable with me like
you used to be, and Ive decided we need some time
apart from each other. Maybe its best for both of us.

Thats really the only thing youd have to say in order to achieve
the intended effect.

Instead of going on after him to bed for his forgiveness, youre

going to exercise some self-respect and maturity by seeing to it
that you acknowledge the truth that two people cant be
attached at the hip.

After you use this technique, theres a very good chance that
your man is going to respond strongly to it if you issue the
statement via text or email, you wont have to actually worry
about getting any immediate response or reaction from him
after making the statement.

There are three reasons why this technique works as well as it

does
1. You completely disarmed him
2. You refrained from showing any signs of desperation

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or weakness
3. You indirectly told him that youre not interested in
him anymore

After youve made your statement about the benefits of

spending some time apart, your next plan of action should be to
do exactly that.

If you two live together, move out of the house. Leave him
alone and take some time to get to know yourself a little better.
If he calls or writes you to find out whats going on, respond
with something like-
Ive been having a blast and would love to tell you all
about it. Things have been going great for me. We
definitely needed time apart. I guess when things
happen they happen for a good reason, right? Anyway, I
am in a rush, Ill speak to you or write later.

While youre off doing your own thing, his curiosity will be
incited and hell be wondering about everything that youve
been up to.

When hes wracking his brain to figure out what it could be

thats gotten you feeling more independent, the burning desire
sparked by his curiosity will force him to ask himself two things:

1. How is she having so much fun without me?

2. Has she completely moved on, or is she still
interested?

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Once he starts making an active effort to try and find out what
youve been up to, thats a total wrap.

It will be as though the two of you have just met all over again
when this happens, you need to show off your self-reliance
and self-confidence, establishing your rightful status as a
person of true value.

Remember you dont have to settle down any more than he

does, and you deserve a guy that adores you and loves you. If
you respect yourself and he decides to start appreciating you
more, its a fresh start for you both.

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 Chapter 10 Mutual Pleasure Phases

If anyone has told you that a man cant be trained to do the

things that please you on a more frequent basis, then they
were terribly mistaken.

Dont let the way it may sound give you the wrong idea this is
not an exercise in simply manipulating the man to do whatever
you please.

With this exercise, you are going to simply learn how to inspire
a man to do more things that fall in line with your wants and
needs, without having to actually manipulate or beg him at all.

Essentially, what youre going to be doing is inspiring him to see

making you happy as the number one mission objective on his
big list of priorities.

Heres the process to inspiring the man to do more of the things

you want, broken down into five extremely simple steps:
1- Identify what you want.
2- Suggest an action the right way.
3- Ask him to make a small commitment before a bigger
one.
4- Reward & punish theory.
5- Remind him of how hes supposed to behave.

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1 - Identify exactly what it is you want, and keep it
simple- one request at a time

We were the gender gifted with all of the talent in multitasking,

and so out of consideration for our dear mens limits and our
own sanity, it would be best to do all we can to avoid
overloading men.

They find it extremely hard to devote proper attention to more

than one task at a time the simpler you keep it, the better!

Remember, your goal should be to avoid having him see you as

a constant source of drama. Dont start any argument over
something thats not worth going to bed angry about.

Another thing you should take extreme care to avoid doing is

choosing to approach any critical issue in an indirect, passive
way.

Wed all like our men to be able to pick up on all of the most
important things without needing to be explicitly prompted all
of the time, but sometimes there is just no other recourse than
to take the initiative and lay it out directly on the line.

Here are some of the things that you should never beat around
the bush when they become important:

-Something is seriously distressing you and you need to talk

about it
-You really want him to open up a little bit more about a certain
subject

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-Youd like for him to take care if something broken or urgent
related to the house
-You feel like you need just a little bit more attention, even just
a kiss or a cuddle now and then

2 - Suggest an action the right way by using respect &

appreciation.

If you want to create a powerful call to action that lead to your

man being more motivated to follow through on doing the
things that please you, youve got to prioritize suggesting what
you would like him to do instead of always feeling the need to
outright command him to do things.

For example, you should make a point to avoid saying things

like this:

Hey hon, the faucet has been dripping for a month now. Are
you ever going to get it fixed?

Instead, you should actually focus more on wording your

desires more like this

Hon, I know how good you are at fixing things. This faucets
been dripping forever, it seems, and I just cant seem to figure
it out.

By wording your desire in a way that is led into by mentioning

something that you appreciate him for, you are able to make
him appreciative of your gratitude first, before just fixating on
how the fact that youd like him to do something that may not
be immediately convenient.

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When worded in this way, the answer will be yes, nine times
out of ten.

Most men truly are out to make their women as happy as

possible in their own way, because when they are successful at
pleasing their women, it gives them a strong sense of very real
accomplishment its a win-win situation for the both of you.

Do you recall all that weve already covered about the extreme
importance of respect and admiration when it comes to a mans
sense of being?

You dont need to be over the top about it, but as long as your
respect and admiration are sincere, hell be appreciative and
motivated. If he senses that youre trying to force it, by being
too gushy, hell pick up on that and may become resentful as a
result.

A good way to start practicing the ways that you can exude a
little bit more respect and admiration for your man is by taking
a bit of time to write down a list of all of the different reasons
you have to respect your man for all of the things that he is and
is capable of doing.

A man likes to know that his woman is legitimately interested in

him for who he is, so never stop putting in a genuine effort to
try and get to know your man just a little bit better any time
that you have the opportunity.

Just as you want to be appreciated for your qualities that arent

entirely physical, your man wants to know that youre invested
in his innermost qualities as well.

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The only thing that you really have to do is point out just one
simple quality about him that you love, once per day, and youll
be on the right track.

For example

Lets say you want him to tell you that he loves you more often.
Instead of directly saying

Hey! How come you never tell me how much you love me
anymore?

Try saying Honey! I wanted to tell you that I feel really good
when you tell me that you love me. Thank you for caring
enough by letting me know how you feel.

Now what do you think is going to happen next? No grand prize

for guessing here; theres a 99.9% chance that hes going to
start saying I love you a lot more often after youve made a
statement like that.

Here are a few more examples of pleasant phrases you

can use to raise his level of affection -
- I really admire a man like you.
- I love it when you hug me. Having you around and feeling
your touch makes me feel so safe and warm.
- I am so proud to have a guy like you in my life.
- You are very important to me. I am so blessed to have you in
my life.
- I know you can achieve anything you put your mind to.
- Thanks for being a great boyfriend/husband.

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- I love it when you surprise me.
- I really need your help. I cant do it without you.
- I trust you with all my heart.
- Its amazing how good you really are at doing ______ (insert
action)

3- Ask him to make a small commitment before

expecting a bigger one.

Are you aware of the fact that we, as human beings, are much
more likely to follow through with a large commitment when we
have already gone through with a more modest commitment?

It is extremely difficult for us to make an abrupt change in the

way that we speak and act when in the middle of an established
trend of behavior.

In your own relationship, the human habit of sticking with

familiar behavior can be used to your greatest advantage.

If you want your man to do something relatively big for you,

then naturally, you should first ask him to do something on a
much smaller scale.

Lets imagine that youd like to be taken out to eat to an

expensive restaurant, but you know that chances are hes not
going to want to go along with it.

Instead of jumping right into asking him to take you to the

restaurant, you can instead lead into it by asking a smaller
commitment of him before you even mention the restaurant at
all.

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For example, say this
Honey! Can we please go out to eat tonight? Im exhausted
and feeling very stressed & really dont feel like cooking.

Once he agrees and you two are getting readySay the

following
Oh! While were at it, how about we go to XYZ restaurant? Its
been a while since weve eaten there. Ive heard they have new
special items on the menu.

Hes going to be ten times more likely to go along with going to

the restaurant since the first request has set him on the
conditioned path to agreeing with you on that particular train of
thought.

The beauty of this simple method is that it can literally be used

in order to increase the rate of success you have with getting
your man to agree with you in just about any other hypothetical
situation.

All that you have to make sure of is that you remember how
vital it is to always lead into your larger request with smaller,
more manageable requests first.

This is like a foot-in-the-door technique that uses the

momentum of the first request to block chances of rejection of
the second request.

In the restaurant example, even if he believes that the answer

should be no, he wont have been led to refusal by being put on
the spot and pressured.

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If you immediately put your man on the spot, hes more likely
to disagree simply to protect his right to refuse for being told
what to do.

Heres another example, lets say you want your special guy to
take you out to a show this weekend. Say the following to him
You know? Theres this really good show this weekend, and
Ive been just dying to see it. Perhaps we could go together,
and then go out to that really nice jazz bar you took me to a
couple of weeks ago. I know Id really like that.

One thing you should take care not to do is to ask him whether
or not he believes it would be a good idea or not to go through
with whatever your idea is. You would actually be best off if you
completely refrained from asking him about what he thinks
about the idea at all.

As a matter of fact, the best thing that you could probably do

would be to just immediately change the subject after
mentioning whatever it is that youd like him to agree to.

If you directly state your desire but make it appear like an

afterthought, you could make it so that your wishes are known
but youre not aggressively putting them upon him like a
command or complaint.

When you make your desire known but also make a point to
keep it relegated to a point in the dialogue that doesnt make it
the number one attraction, you give your man time to consider
the request without feeling like hes being pressured into
agreeing to what youve got in mind.

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Chances are that unless hes got a conflict that makes it literally
impossible for him to follow through with whatever it is that
youd like to see happen, hes going to invite you to see that
that show that you mentioned earlier.

Whats better is that he wont get the sense you expect him to
do it, hell get pleasure out of the thought that hes giving you a
nice surprise.

4- Reward & Punish Theory.

Now comes the time that I can truly teach you the best way to
properly train your man to do exactly whatever it is that you
have in mind.

Dont be intimidated by the scope of what Im suggesting here

its actually a fairly simple process that most women simply
happen to overlook 90% of the time.

Believe it or not, training your man to do what youd like him to

do is actually a part of the job description. Chances are that
hes not going to directly or indirectly tell you that he wants you
to condition him to unconsciously do everything that you want,
when you want it, but it is true nonetheless.

Lets look at it this way: if you dont train him in all of the most
effective ways to do what you need him to do to make you
happy, where else is he going to learn?

If youre tormented by the fact that your man is going all of the
things you hate, and youre at a loss for ways to make him
change whatever hes doing, then youve got to face a truth
that may be a hard pill to swallow: at some point in the past,

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you trained your man to believe that the behavior was
acceptable.

Its not to say that you outright told your man that doing the
things you hate is acceptable, but ignoring the behavior that
makes you unhappy is actually just as bad as outright
encouraging it by doing that, you lead him down the path of
thinking its completely harmless.

The key to getting him to engage in a stronger ratio of behavior

that you enjoy to behavior that turns you off, the best thing you
can do is to classically condition him.

Your target should be to reward him more when he does the

things you like and to punish behavior that you dont stand for.

Now heres one thing that you need to be one hundred percent
aware of: punishment doesnt mean that youre going to be
breaking out the blowtorch and chasing him into the attic.

The punishment should never be aggressive or violent, because

that never actually ends well for anyone involved.

You should be focusing more on the quality of the rewards that

you entitle him to when he does something right. In life, youll
catch more bees with honey than salt positive reinforcement
is always the right way to go.

The rewards should come in one of two special forms

1. Emotional Rewards Emotional rewards can come in the

form of showing appreciation, love, respect, and an increased
rate of attention.

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The first thing that you should be focusing on is making sure
that you dont miss out on the chance to make sure that you
can exercise one of these rewards any time he doesnt
something you like right.

2. Physical Rewards If your man has been doing an

extremely good job of bringing you flowers after work, for
example, you could reward that behavior by praising him like
this -
Honey! I love the fact that you bring flowers for me daily, it
truly makes my day!

If hes being constantly rewarded for it, then the behavior is

going to be constantly reinforced, which will be conducive to
him repeating the behavior on a more frequent basis.

Now if your man is doing something that really doesnt sit well
with you, like leaving his clothes out on the floor all of the time,
you could try stating something like the following

Honey! I need to let you know that its really difficult for me to
organize your clothes every day after you leave. I would love to
do it for you, but I cant do it every single day.

After you make this statement, you next priority should be to

make sure that you stop extending that courtesy towards him
that he enjoys.

Punishment doesnt have to be brutal or painful to be effective

it can simply take the form of the lack of something you used
to do that he benefited from.

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You arent necessarily obligated to go out of your way doing all
of the things around the house that are convenient for him, and
so when you cease doing one of these things to punish him, its
not malicious chances are that he will associate the lack of
that thing with the action that displeased you, which will lead to
him repeating that behavior notably less. There is no trickery or
manipulation required.

5- Remind him of how hes supposed to behave.

With this step alone, you will be exercising the full accumulation
of everything that weve covered so far. Your power to influence
your man will be unparalleled by any woman that doesnt have
the same knowledge.

If your man is being a little bit lazy around the home, try the
following phrase:

Honey! I know that you care about me deeply & have been so
good to me. I truly admire that quality in you. However, lately
you seem a bit distant; this isnt like your usual self. Is there
something wrong?

With this phrase, you are at once showing your appreciation for
him and indirectly letting him know that something about his
current behavior is off.

Men love to please the women that theyre with, but none of
them want to be harped on about the past and relentlessly
criticized.

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Make sure to always prioritize positive reinforcement for all of
the times that your man follows through without being asked,
and you will get much more attention and appreciation in
return.

Now let me show you some effective ways that you can
integrate these principles into your everyday life:

For example, if your man has been extraordinarily busy

at work

Woman How come you never spend time with me anymore?

Man Cant you see Im busy? I have a lot of work to do.

Woman You are always workingIt seems as if I dont even

exist in your world.

Man Cant you see why I work so hard?

Woman Seems like you dont really love me anymore

Getting angry at things is much easier than understanding

things, and thats why fights happen so often.

If you want your relationship to flourish, then sometimes youre

going to have to do it the hard way: attempting to understand.
Ironically, whats hard in the short term can make things much
easier in the long term.

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If you want to be fully understood, then first, you must commit
to understanding. Show him unconditional love and respect,
and hell be a lot more cooperative.

Now heres an example how to handle it correctly

Woman You know I am really lucky to have you as my mate.

You work so hard to provide me with everything. I just wanted
to let you know that I really appreciate everything you have
done for me.

Man Thank you very muchI am glad to have you in my life

as well.

Woman I am really sorry if I am disturbing youBut I just felt

like spending some time with you todayBut if you are busy,
we can do this later.

Man Oh honey! I am glad that youre such an understanding

woman. Ill tell you whatI am almost done with this project
Give me a couple of hours and then we will go out to eat today.
Sound good?

Woman Sounds Perfect!

This method of communication is honest, has no manipulation

whatsoever, and gets results. Youre triggering him to respond
in a way that makes you happy, which positively reinforces his
listening skills.

Show him that youre the one he wants, and hell kick into
provider mode almost instantly. Dont be surprised if your
girlfriends get jealous!

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Chapter 11 The Monstrous Intrigue Phrases

Now just for a moment, I want you to imagine that youve been
having the time of your life with a new guy that youve just met
very recently.

He may or may not be the one, but so far, hes been making
all of the right moves and you have a feeling that you
understand just about every good thing that there is to know
about him.

His moods, emotions and habits are all things that you
understand well. Most importantly of all, you really get the
sense that you have legitimate feelings for him that transcend a
passing fling.

You love spending time with him much more than a lot of the
guys youve met prior, and every little thing he does seems to
draw him in closer to you by the day.

You love it when he tells you how much you mean to him, and
just being by his side has this uncanny effect on you that makes
you feel incredibly safe.

You like how he holds you warmly every single day, and overall,
being with him just gives you the sense of completeness that
youre almost at a loss for an accurate way to describe.

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Its safe to say that youre definitely thinking of something
resembling a bright future with this guy, and so naturally, you
start to envision all of things that could come to be if the two of
you really decided to kick things up to the next level.

All of your fantasies start to appear more vivid and easy to

rationalize.

It doesnt take long for the butterflies to start bubbling up in

your tummy just as an effect of your thoughts about how bright
the future has potential to be.

The prospect of things actually getting serious between you and

this guy starts to make you anxious, and your excitement gets
spiked with electric uncertainty.

Now suddenly, one day, things start to head south. You dont
know for what reason or even at what point it started to
happen, but eventually, there is no doubting that something has
undoubtedly gotten different between the two of you.

This man you were feeling so good about before, whose smile
and touch could make your whole week, suddenly starts to act
extremely distant in a completely unprompted fashion.

Hes outright avoiding you, and you dont have any idea of how
to describe it than you have ideas of how to colonize the planet
Jupiter.

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You find it hard to believe that this loving and generous man
could really just leave you hanging for no other reason than to
give you distress, but youre at a loss of possible explanations
for why he would suddenly start to act like you dont even exist.

His calls start to become less and less frequent, he becomes

much more physically distant from you at all times, and
eventually, the sound of his voice becomes a distant memory
that you can only accurately recollect from hearing his
answering machine tone.

The answer to why men suddenly start to act like theyve

forgotten why we exist does not really exist, because theres
truly more than just a single answer to consider.

There are more than few variations to consider when it comes

to finding out just why men play hot and cold when theyre
getting to know you for the very first time.

One of the funny things about human beings is the mix of

chemical reactions within us that starts when were just getting
into the starting phases of a relationship.

When were just getting into a brand new relationship with a

brand new flame, our internal system is going wild with
adrenaline.

When adrenaline is flowing wildly through our system, were a

whole lot more physically and emotionally stimulated.

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We naturally feel like were more attached to just about
everything that gives us the sense of being more attached to
whatever it is that connects us to the person that were getting
to know better, and at times, it almost feels like a legitimate
addiction.

To say the least, the high that we get from getting to know this
new person for the very first time is quite a nice feeling.

We like the sensation of being able to feel lifted higher just from
being around another person that gives us a sense of security,
but in spite of that, eventually we get used to the sense of that
addiction.

As time passes by, and we get to know someone better, those

foreign and powerful sensations that took us over when we
were first getting to know those people wed never met before
become a little bit less intense.

Even if were consciously aware of the fact that these amazing

getting-to-know-you feelings cannot possibly last forever, its
very easy to forget that in the heat of the moment.

A lot of men make the mistake of thinking that the fleeting

phase of initial attraction can actually last forever, and so
unfortunately, they ignore all of the little changes that can
eventually tick down to a relationships flame quietly dying out
we can all be guilty of this from time to time, its nothing to
blame anyone or blame yourself for.

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What some men can unfortunately do at times, however, is act
as though they have conquered all in terms of things to
discover and see when it comes to getting to know you.

When they feel that there is nothing left to do, say or feel in
terms of experiencing time with you, they will withdraw from
you for fear of the monotony.

To make this a little bit easier for you to understand, I just want
you to take a moment to imagine your most favorite television
program in the world.

I want you to think about all of the different ways that a new
episode can draw you in with its beginning scene, and how the
perfectly constructed ending can get you hungry for the
possibility if resolution with the next episode.

I want you to try and imagine all of emotions that you

experience when youre thinking about where the story could go
next, whatever that particular story may be.

Channel all of the passion, thrills and excitement you can that
youve associated with a new episode of the first favorite show
of yours that comes to mind.

Now just imagine that one day, out of nowhere, everything on

your network got canceled all except for just ONE episode out
of just one show, which just so happens to be your favorite
television show of all time.

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Now of course at first, this doesnt seem to be anything close to
resembling a bad thing. You actually feel compelled to jump up
out of your seat and rejoice, because of all of the television
content that could have been preserved, it was your favorite
show that you were so fortunate to see be the only one that
was left on the air.

However, this feeling doesnt last forever.

After a while, you actually start to miss what all of the other T.V.
shows had to offer. Eventually, you get to realize that your
favorite television show no longer seems as entertaining as it
used to be when theres nothing left on the air to compare it to.

Eventually, youre faced with the strange realization that you

actually sort of miss all of the shows that you used to claim that
you actually hate.

You realize that instead of rejoicing at the fact that your favorite
episode of your favorite show is the last thing on the air, you
actually just start to feel this odd and crushing sense of
disappointment in the fact that its the only thing left.

You start to wonder about exactly when it was that the amount
of times that one episode that was left had been replayed more
than one hundred times, but you know that to be told the
actual number of how many times that episode had been
repeated would do nothing but depress you.

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You swear that youve seen that episode at least 5,000 times if
you rounded it down, but all it becomes irrelevant when you
cant even bear to look at the television screen anymore.

Now I want you to understand that this hypothetical television

situation is actually exactly what a lot of men go through when
it comes to the concept of their long-term relationships.

You have to understand the thought process that men operate

under when they get into relationships in the very first place.
When men get into relationships in the very first place, they
start to get addicted to the thrills, ups and downs of the
relationship just like we get hooked into a brand new episode of
a television show.

Now even though theyre addicted to all of these great feelings

that the relationship gives them, at one point, they start to
come to the realization that anyone does when theyve been
indulging in something they enjoy for a long enough period of
time.

After a time, these men start to see that all of the thrills and
peaks of those emotions that they experienced at first just
doesnt give them the same feeling that they used to get they
start to feel like we would in the hypothetical situation of the
favorite episode of your favorite show getting replayed infinitely
on the television, and eventually, the loop becomes too much to
bear with pleasure.

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Over time, the other shows start to fade away. Eventually,
there is only one repeat show that keeps on playing over and
over again, without any end in sight.

Now how many times do you actually expect your man or

anyone else, including yourself, to keep on watching the same
episode of the same show for the rest of their entire lives?

How long do you actually think it can be kept up before a man

goes completely mad and his banging his head on the wall for
way out?

If youve just met a guy and theres no variety in the ways that
the two of you spend time with one another, you can rest
assured that hes probably not going to just sit back and wait to
be driven mad by the boredom of being committed to you with
absolutely no sign of change or excitement.

Now lets be honest it doesnt necessarily mean that its all

your fault. As a matter of fact, some of the fault may very well
actually fall on him. We dont need to waste any time playing
the blame game, though.

When you get comfortable with another person, youre getting

into a state that we describe as the settling stage.

As you start settling into one anothers habits and lives, you get
cozy with one another, but the relationship also inevitably starts
to lose a bit of its edge in the process.

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How do you think you should go about fixing this issue with the
natural order of developing relationships? How do you think this
problem can be fixed without anyone losing their minds?

Well Ive got good news for you the answer to this issue is
incredibly simple. The only thing that you have to do in order to
come out of the initial stages of a relationship with your sanity
(and actual relationship) intact, is to make use of what I like to
call Monstrous Intrigue Phrases.

What are Monstrous Intrigue Phrases, you ask?

Its not so complicated, really. Monstrous Intrigue Phrases are

simply emotional loophole openers. We can break the
Monstrous Intrigue Phrase process down into these steps:

1. Plant the seed to new idea.

2. Give your man something better to look forward to, to
think about, or to desire from you.

Ive got some example of potentially powerful Monstrous

Intrigue Phrases here that you can use in order to somewhat
preserve the freshness of a relationship in its earliest stages
without anyone getting bored to the point of running for the
hills.

Eric! I know that we havent really been as in tune lately

as weve always been. Honestly! I completely understand

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if you need space. In fact, I think both of us need space
at the moment.

Now in this scenario, youre going to be conducting yourself in a

manner that may very well completely contradict whatever his
assumptions about your behavior may have been.

Very few men actually expect, even still in this day in age,
women to actively suggest that they need their own space when
the men need space.

Lots of guys are ready for a woman theyve been with to start
on an aggressive campaign of chasing after them they stop
being as available, but when you actually refrain from trying
extra hard to keep him when he starts to pull away from you,
youre actually opening the doors to him becoming a whole lot
more interested in you in general. He may actually start
thinking about you a whole lot more.

Eric, I know we havent really talked that much lately,

but a ton of exciting things have been happening in my
life lately. Id love to talk about it with you whenever
youre ready.

Now when you say something like this, youre letting him know
that youve got your own things going on.

While most men expect women to dedicate their spare time to

thinking about the guy that they want, making a phrase like
this will get rid of any misconception that he may have about

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the reality of how you spend your spare time.

When he clearly sees that you have a full life of your own and in
fact arent going to spend all of your waking hours waiting for
him to come around when hes done dealing with his own
business, youll find that hes going to be a lot more likely to
take the initiative in setting up times to meet with you.

The best case scenario with this technique is actually that hell
become a little bit anxious.

If you play your cards right with this technique, youll be able to
have made it so that he might actually begin to slightly fear the
prospect of you going off and finding another man whose
schedule is more congruent with yours than it is with his own
as we covered before, human beings are even more afraid of
loss than they are fond of gain.

Eric! I know maybe weve had too much of each other in

the past few months. I am glad both of us are in this
situation where we can have time to ourselves as well.
There have been a few exciting changes in my life and Id
love to share it whenever you are ready.

Now with this phrase, youre doing a fantastic job at making it

so that youre able to disprove any misconceptions he may have
that youre not going to be able to function without being
completely wrapped up in everything that hes doing in his
absence.

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While youre plainly addressing the fact that you two have been
taking some time away from one another, youre doing in a way
that shows youre actually appreciative of the fact that youve
had that time apart.

At the same time, youre not making it sound as if you dont

want anything to do with him anymore youre clearly
expressing that being able to spend time with him is something
that youre grateful for as well.

Youre showing the man that you are equally appreciative of the
time you have to spend with him as you are of time that you
have to be your own person as well.

When you exhibit comfort with the time that the two of you
have to be on your own, you are exhibiting a certain kind of
mental maturity that will highly endear you to the kind of man
who likes a well-balanced woman in his life.

Not only are you showing him that youre centered enough to
handle his absence without having some kind of nuclear
meltdown, youre also doing it while offering a legitimate
incentive for seeing you again soon.

His will to see you again will be supported by his curiosity about
just what it could be that you have to tell him about whats
been going on in your life since youve gone.

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Eric! Ive been getting mixed feelings about us lately, I
dont know if its good or bad, but I am glad that both of
us have time to each other to reflect better on things. Oh
& by the way, a few new & exciting changes have taken
place that Id love to share with you someday.

When you say that youve been getting mixed feeling about a
guy that youve been seeing, almost nothing else can give the
guy an equal sense of being confused and anxious about just
what it is that your opinion of his is.

Its not like youre outright telling him that you want nothing to
do with him, but at the same time, you are leaving the perfect
amount of uncertainty in the corner of the room for him to think
about.

When you show that you yourself are uncertain about where
things could be headed between the two of you, youll be
showing him that youre anything but stuck in the same old set
routine.

Hell be forced to accept the fact that you yourself are a person
of a life that is always subject to change, which will let him
know that getting involved with you will not equate to anything
resembling boredom.

Use these phrases strategically and honestly, and youll find

that just about any guy will be prone to pursuing you well into
the time in which you two are actually together!

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Send him on the adventure of getting to know you instead of
laying it all out on the table like a boring, linear textbook about
yourself.

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 Chapter 12 Secret Fantasy Phrases

Now let me lead into this by saying that I have no

understanding of whether or not this is actually appropriate or
not, but at the same time, I have to address it due to the fact
that its one of the most common questions that I get from
women that I provide counsel for.

The most common question that I usually get from these

women is related to their intimate lives. They may word it in
slightly nuanced ways, but at the end of the day, it boils down
to this

How do I satisfy him more in bed?

How can I become the only woman in his dreams?

How can I become a part of his most intense fantasies

You know, its actually often said that men oftentimes fall on the
visual spectrum when it comes to what kinds of things are best
at attracting them.

We have a lot of studies out there claiming that as long as a

man has something thats visually stimulating him, he has all he
needs to remain turned on, indefinitely.

Well personally, I have to say that I dont really agree in that

theory in the slightest.

I dont think theres many men out there who will ever honestly
just stand up and admit it, but honestly, deep down all men
desire a woman who can simply make them experience the

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kinds of feelings that hes never actually been able to have
before.

Men seriously want to be able to think the kinds of thoughts

that have never crossed their minds before, but society keeps
pressing this stereotype that warps into the popular
misconception of the masses that men only care about the
things in a woman that they can see and touch.

Allow me to do my part in deconstructing the destructive

misunderstanding that has been so constantly perpetuated by
the shallow researchers out there who claim that only the
physical things are needed to keep a man consistently
attracted.

Its really amazing that men only verbalize it so rarely, but it

really couldnt be any truer men are extremely interested in
being with a woman that legitimately has the power to change
their entire perspective on life and touch them in a place that
they cant actually run over with their fingers.

Now you might recall what Ive mentioned in the previous

chapters about how there is a specific part of the human brain
that is dedicated to making sense of all of the things that the
eyes perceive as we take stock of our surrounding environment
this is what I referred to as your image processing brain.

Did you know that you can turn a man on just by delivering the
kinds of words that can coalesce in his subconscious and erupt
into a series of vivid images in his brain?

When the compelling pictures in mind are powerful enough to

attract him in ways that hes never even expected, you are
taking full advantage of the power of the image processing
brain.

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When youre stimulating the image processing brain in a way
that can attract a man with the kind of stimuli that rock his
perspective from the very core, what youre doing is fulfilling a
latent desire of his that he himself may have never been aware
that he actually possessed deep down.

Now, you may be wondering, how exactly can you go about

making these images manifest in the very first place? How can
you create these amazing images in a mans mind that have the
power to make him rethink and appreciate his world in ways
that he never even thought possible?

The way that you can manage to create these images in a

mans mind, manually, is with the use of something that I have
deemed the Secret Fantasy Phrases.
With the Secret Fantasy phrases, you can consciously wield the
power to paint pictures on the ephemeral frontier of mans mind
which only he will ever directly observe, but will appreciate with
more reverence than all of poets of Europe ever appreciated
pen and ink.

The first thing were going to cover is the concept of the

Tension Buildup.

With the Tension Buildup, you are basically working through a

volley of specially tuning his emotions.

You are going to be working through tuning his emotions in a

series of stages, and in the very first stage, you are going to be
dropping subtle hints and ideas in his mind that make him just
a little bit tense.

When youve built up a suitable degree of tension, youre going

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to have set the stage to raise things up to the next level.

Now, here are some special phrases that you can use for the
purpose of getting tension up to the best possible level for
making a powerful impact.

Eric! I love seeing the sparkle in your eyes when you

look at me. Honestly! Just seeing your eyes makes my
heart race.

The phrases that you use in order to build up tension dont need
to be long and complex in order to get a high caliber of effect.

With a line as simple as mentioning that you like the way his
eyes sparkle, youll be kicks-starting a thought process related
to something that he may never even think about.

When you tell him that his eyes are sparkling, hell have no way
to visualize that without representing it in his head and trying
to imagine what his own sparkling eyes look like most
importantly, the sparking will be in relation to you.

The more he consciously imagines the mental image of his eye

sparking whenever he looks at you, the more hes going to be
associating the sight of you with something that hell identify as
a legitimate source of pleasure in his world.

Eric! Your nearness overwhelms me. I shouldnt say this

but just feeling your hands on my hands sends shivers of
delight race through my body.

What we have here is another example of deadly effective

imagery that will send him reeling into the realm of his own

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imagination.

Even if he may have already been consciously aware of what its

like to physically touch you, a statement like this will make him
envision being with you as he touches you.

Essentially, a statement like this is going to be forcing him to

associate his own sense of being with your body.

Hes going to be associating himself with you on a deeper level,

and it will all be because of the visual stimulus brought upon
him with nothing more than a couple of simple sentences.

Eric, the other day when you hugged me unexpectedly, I

felt currents of excitement racing through me.

You could consider this phrase to be an effective extension of

the previous Secret Fantasy phrase.

Youre once again leading him down a mental path in which he

imagines what its like to be in your position as he interacts with
you, which will essentially be adding a brand new dimension to
his perception of the two of you as a single item.

Eric, when you gently held my hand the other day, my

heart started pounding as if it was going to jump out of
my chest.

With this, youre going to be planting a powerful visual stimulus

and a virtual touch-stimulus into his head.

Any time that he holds your hand again, he just might feel
phantom palpitations in his own heart that lead him to

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imagining what it must be like to have a heart thats
legitimately feeling like it could beat right out of the chest.

If he thinks about his heart beating out of his chest often

enough, and that thought is associated with you, its going to
turn out that eventually he wont even actually need to try and
recall that specific mental scenario youve raised to him in order
to feel the sensation that youve suggested to him.

Eric! When you hug me tight it makes me feel special,

makes me feel happy and honestly, it turns me on.

It really doesnt get much more honest than this. With this
phrase, you have effectively fused the advantages of being both
innocent and naughty in your dialog.

As we mentioned before, it takes more than just whats physical

in order to turn a man on however, you can still build upon
the influence of the physical by supporting it with a mental
image.

A great strength of this fantasy phrase is that you are at once

giving him something that makes an impact on the carnal urges
of his primal brain while at once implying the existence of
potential for something a lot greater than just what he could
get from being physical with any other girl he meets at the bar.

The more that he thinks about the tantalizing sensation you

suggest to him with this phrase, coupled with the mental image
of you yourself and the concept of a special relationship, the
more inclined hell be to think about things getting serious
between the two of you.

Eric, Do you remember when we first met and how our

knees mistakenly brushed? Just that slight touch of you

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on me, made my heart accelerate like crazy.

Now with this fantasy phrase, you are introducing the power of
stimulating his memory. He will be considering the idea of being
with you in the present moment, the future, and the past as
well.

When he gets to thinking about that past scenario that you

brought up with your suggestion about your physical touch in
the past, he may be naturally inclined to think about other past
events that involved the two of you.

With just one fantasy phrase such as this, you can effectively
set your man on the track to qualitatively assessing all of the
past moments that you two have ever shared together.

Youre basically going to be setting into a motion an entire

narrative of your relationship within his mind.

Eric! I dont know if I should say this or not, but your

kisses are an addiction, I crave them daily.

Now this is one of the simplest fantasy phrases that you can
employ, but it is strikingly powerful all the same. There are few
more iconic sensations for a human being than the touch of
another persons lips on the skin, and so when it comes to
creating a fleshed-out fantasy, something such as this will be
exceedingly hard to beat.

When you deliver a phrase like this, hes going to be running

through virtual stimulations in his head that involve the two of
you kissing if he does this often enough, then it will actually
be as though hes literally kissing you every time that he thinks
about exactly what you said.

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Eric, you make me feel like the most important woman
in the world & honestly that turns me on in ways I cant
describe.

As weve already maintained, effective fantasy phrases are a

practice in the art of being simultaneously naughty and nice.

Youre honestly letting him know that you have a fantasy about
the two of you being more than just a casual flee, but at the
same time, youre letting him know what something else sits at
the base too something raw and saucy that can add a bit of
embellishing edge to your emotional expressiveness..

As we mentioned already, men like to be in the company of

women that can make them think in ways that they never
thought of before.

There may be plenty of women hes met in the past who have
complimented him on his looks, but when you tell him that the
fact that he prioritizes you turns you on, he might be taken
aback and intrigued at the same time.

There are some couples out there who can go for years at a
time without being able to articulate to one another the same
amount of raw emotion and honestly contained in the above
phrase, and so when you do something like this, youre striking
a cord within him that may rarely ever actually get struck.

Eric! When you look at me, I feel warmness inside me.

When you hold me, I lose my senses completely and just
being able to smell your scent makes Goosebumps
explode all over me.

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This is glorious tag-team attack that involves eighty percent of
all of his senses sight, smell, touch and sound all at the same
time.

This is a fantasy phrase that depends on the power of

maximum sensory impact, and for that reason, its one of the
most powerful that I can share with you in this guide.

The dimension created by telling him that he affects such a

variety of your senses will create one of the most complete
hypothetical dimensions that he can turn to in his spare time
when you two are apart and hes thinking about you.

Eric, I shouldnt say this but I cant help it! You looked
extremely handsome the other day and I couldnt push
that image out of my mind, not even for a single second.
I dont know this but when I was looking at you that day
my mind was imagining things, naughty thingsOkay! I
should stop now.

Remember what we mentioned before about men being

attracted to women who are secure about mentioning areas in
which they might be a little bit doubtful or insecure?

This phrase draws on the power of being able to be upfront

about the things youre a bit uncertain of about yourself, while
at the same time, prodding him with his own sexual imagery.

By making a point not to go into crazy detail about the content

of your half-mentioned naughty imagined things, youre
basically inviting him to fill in the blanks all on his own this
will be highly conducive to some extremely powerful and
positively-reinforcing thoughts about you when the two of you
are apart.

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Eric, when you hugged me the other day and lovingly
moved your hands up & down my spine, I felt so turned
on that just controlling my temptations was a struggle.
Being held by you gives me the greatest feeling in the
world.

Just like the former phrase, this is a statement that requires

you to be relatively open about the reality of what your limits
are in regards to something as simple as impulse control.

When you do something like this, youre creating a scenario in

which he has an easily accessible mental image to be reinforced
any time you do something as benign as give one another an
innocent hug.

Oh my god! Ive been thinking about you all night! I am

really starting to lose my sanity. Can you please leave my
mind for a minute? Why are you so sexy? Okay, I should
stop there.

Now unlike the phrases that ask his mind to travel back to a
point at which the two of you physically touched one another,
this is a purely sensory stimulus exercise that invites him to
create an entire nights worth of limitless fantasies that you
could have been having about him all night.

I think I am starting to get addicted to you, your kisses,

your hugs! Okay, I should stop there!

Simple, sweet, effective and powerful like the rest of the

fantasy phrases, this takes the mans mind on a trip that it will
keep making returns and revisits to once hes had time to make
the mental image his own.

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By injecting the mental image into something as casual as
kisses and hugs, you guarantee that the image will be
sharpened every time that the two of you actually do kiss or
hug.

The other day when you were angry! It really turned me

onOkay, thats weird, I should stop before it gets
crazy!

Its not very often that a woman will express admiration for
something as specific as mans bad mood, and so with this, hell
be taken aback by the sheer unconventionality of your
compliment.

Sexual mental images aside, he may be intrigued at the fact

that a woman can actually be turned on by his anger.

I dont think there is anything hotter than looking at

your face when you are intense, it really pleases me in
ways I cant describe.

With a fantasy phrase like this and the one that weve just
covered, you are going to be able to turn the mans own
emotions into vessels for the flight of your mental images.

Any time that hes feeling a bit pissed off or intense, he may be
associating the experience with the thought of you when he
least expects it.

I never told you this, but the other day, seeing you in
that fancy suit truly turned me on. Okay, I better stop.
Ive got things to do today, cant let that image of you
drive me crazy again.

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Where the last fantasy phrase set up a situation in which hed
be liable to think of you any time that he feels a certain
emotion, this fantasy phrase will encourage him to think about
you any time he looks at his own suit -minimal effort, maximum
effect.

Can you please stop looking at me with such intensity?

Its starting to turn me on in weird ways. Stop distracting
me already. See youre doing It againStop it! Stop
looking at me with those intense eyes!

After you make a statement like this, any time that he even
briefly looks at you, he might be considering the effect that he
has on your hormones with his eyes.

There will be a powerful combination of the physical stimulus of

your actual presence and the mental stimulus of your arousal
because of it, at the same time!

The sky is truly the limit when it comes to the ways that you
can frame these fantasy phrases.

If you can blend together a common form of physical

stimulation, a genuine desire for something greater, and a bit of
sensuality into a single sentence, you will have the perfect
verbal technique to create mental images for the purpose of
enhancing his fantasies.

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 Chapter 13 Permanent Obsession Phrases
Once upon a time, I was on a desperate quest to discover all of
the answers in regards to men and relationships.

I buried myself in psychology books, and eventually, I

discovered something extremely interesting that was called
Frame Control.

Now when I learned about Frame Control, something incredible

happened.

It was when I discovered Frame Control that I first became

inspired to start developing Obsession Phrases.

Frame Control was what gave me foundation to start building

up these verbal techniques to make any man obsessed with any
woman that knows how to use them correctly.

Dont worry, Im not going to put you to sleep with all of the
fine technical details.

Im going to cut right down to the juicy core of it all if you can
understand what I have to share with you there, youll be able
to apply what you learn to every single situation you find
yourself in which a guy.

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No matter who the man is, you will have the necessary
foundation to get the exact results that youre after.

Now it is imperative that before I actually give you this

technique, I share with you some examples of the most
common situations that you can use it in

When other women are in the picture

When you are able to use this technique effectively, you will be
able to get a leg up on the competition if there are any other
women who may also be interested in the man youre after.

Essentially, youll be distinguishing yourself from the herd. Only

a very, very small number of women are aware of the nature of
what Im going to be sharing with you. This technique works on
a broad scale, but it is not distributed nearly as widely.

To create massive amounts of curiosity

If youve just met a man for the very first time, then there is a
critical period you have in which you can make the strongest
possible impression that you can.

If you want to take the best advantage you can of the most
critical period that you have in order to capture the mans
interest at the best possible opportunity. If you can make a
killer first impression, then more than half of your work is
already done.

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As an online dating advantage
In todays day and age, online dating is no longer considered
nearly as taboo as it used to be near the beginning of the rise
of the Internet. Online dating, even on Facebook, has become
exponentially more common than it has in the past.

One of the beauties of this technique is that it isnt at all limited

to what youre able to do when youre face to face with the man
that youre interested in pursuing.

Because this is a strictly psychological technique, you can use it

whether or not the person youre interested in is actually in
your immediate physical vicinity. As long as youre
communicating with the person in question, you can use this
technique effectively.

Its no secret that occasionally, men are going to try and test
you in ways that you may not immediately expect.

Every now and then, there will be a man who wants to see just
how far youre willing to go for him even if hes not doing it
consciously, you can still very well be tested by cold behavior.

If you feel like youre on the receiving end of a playing hard to

get routine, then following the principles of this technique will
ensure that you never have to worry about not being able to
meet up to any standards that he may have.

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This technique is a time-tested and verified breaker of any and
all tests that women may take in regards to men who exhibit
curious behavior towards them.

Any time that you feel a man may be putting you through some
kind of character test, you will have absolutely no reason to
fear. Instead of dreading the character tests, you will be able to
completely embrace them and dominate them before it ever
even comes close to being a problem.

Now that you understand the gravity of what Im going to be

teaching you, its finally time to get right down to the juicy
meat of all that Id like to share in this chapter.

This is what youve been waiting for after you digest the full
value of what I have to share here, all of your man problems
will seem like little more than childs play.

Now, without further ado, heres the vital secret that you need
to know in order to draw out the full power of all of the phrases
that Ive shared with you thus far.
During each interaction you have with a man, your job is
to twist everything he says to make it sound as if he is
trying to get you to like him or trying to win you over.

Out of all of the techniques that Ive seen work over the years,
that have been very few that Ive seen so effective as this.

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By making it so that each interaction you have with a man
makes it seem as though hes going on the offensive, you are
basically ensuring that the ball is always squarely in your court
instead of his.

No matter what he says or does, he will always believe that it

was in fact he himself that came to the conclusion all on his
own. In truth, once you master the full extent of this technique,
you will be able to secretly win the game without him ever
being aware that it was you who was actually pulling the strings
all along.

The man is going to be thinking that it was always he himself

who was able to bring the relationship to fruition, but in truth, it
will be owed entirely to your ability to control the tide behind
his mental stage.

What we are essentially doing here is completely flipping the

script on what he may have believed was the natural order of
how a relationship between a man and woman should begin.
Hes going to be completely thrown off.

A lot of men are so used to being in control that when a woman

is able to exercise some leverage against him, she will seem
almost unnaturally powerful.

Lets just take a look at an example here that can shed some
light on how to use this technique when a man is rejecting you
indirectly

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Him I dont think well get along.

You I was thinking the same thing actually! I mean you

and I are so different. It would be weird if were a couple.
I mean I am clearly a little hard to handle for you. Were
much better off beings friends.

Do you see what just happened in that scenario? Instead of just

going along with what he probably expected of you, which is to
get swallowed up in your disappointment, you instead just
simply acknowledged what he said and went along carrying the
conversation, indicating that his rejection or acceptance of you
isnt the center of your entire existence.

Basically, what you did was take what he said and flip it right
back over into something that changed the context of the entire
exchange with a few well-placed words, you legitimately
made it seem as though it was actually he himself who was
getting rejected by you all along.

Now after youve managed to pull off something like this, you
will basically force him to come to realization that hes never
really understood things as much as he thought that he did.

Hell be questioning his own subconscious to the point that his

confidence is significantly shaken.
With no more than just a single sentence, you will have given
yourself the power to yank out the rug under any man who
thinks they have it all figured out. Its so simple, smooth and
smart that it probably shouldnt even be legal.

Now there are two major reasons why this technique is as

incredibly powerful as it is.

Reason One You dont accept what he says.

When you follow the process as outlined above, you are

essentially breaking away from the herd that takes rejection

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extremely personally as soon as it happens.

You dont have to outright say that you dont accept his words,
but when you go about things in this fashion, you engaging in a
subversive practice that will befuddle him without cluing him in
on what youre actually doing.

When you show him that what he said doesnt really matter to
you all that much, you are establishing yourself as an alpha
female thats not going to be reduced to a sniveling wreck just
because a man didnt immediately jump to the idea of being
with her.

There are far too many men out there who seem to have this
misconception that every little thing that they say is
immediately validated by default. Rather than thinking of
exactly what the reason may be why they said X, Y, or Z, they
will immediately jump to assuming that theres no need to think
about it at all.

Lots of men are extremely used to women taking everything

that they say at face value without a second doubt, and so
when a woman comes along who isnt ready to just buy
whatever he sells right away, an extremely real sense of
uncertainty is created within them.

Reason Two He feels the need to justify himself to you.

By twisting his words around in such a way, youve made it

seem as though he was the one actually pursuing you all along
when you push him into this zone, youve made it so that
essentially hes going to feel like he has to justify his stance.

When you make it seem as though the man has actually been
the one who has been attracted to you all along, hell suddenly
feel like he has to fight to justify exactly whatever it is that he
said in the first place.

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Heres the best part about using this technique effectively
even though youll be transferring all of the power in the
equation to yourself, hell have no idea that you actually wield
as much power as you do.

Hell just be so preoccupied with his own feelings of confusion

that it wont ever cross his mind that you were the one who
orchestrated it all from the very beginning.

Now here are a couple of examples of the ways that you can
use these phrases to your advantage whenever the time may
arise.

First date situations

Him (When he tries to kiss too early).

You Okay! Slow down tiger, lets take this one step at
a time (And then offer your cheek for the kiss).

As was said before, men love to believe that theyve got you on
the ropes at all times just because they think theyre being
smooth or smart.

If you tell him to slow down, its going to instantly shatter any
perception he has they hes the one who has all of the control in
the equation.

Him So do you like me?

You Well, you seem like a safe enough guy so far. But
a part of me doesnt trust you yet!

Hell probably be thinking that the way he worded this question

will just be a great way of baiting you into revealing all of the
reasons why you think hes great, but when you give him a
reply like this, hes instead going to be wondering why you
wont let down your defenses as easily as he expected.

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Him (If he gets a little nervous).

You Its okay! Its cute when a guy gets nervous

around me.

Guys can be extremely insecure about revealing anything about

themselves that could be interpreted as weak, and so when you
call him out like this, it may set off a couple of alarms in his
head that make him wonder about how hes doing with the
impression hes leaving on you.

Adding in that you think hes cute when hes nervous is going to
do two every useful things for one, its going to make it so
that he knows youve still got at least an iota of interest in him
in spite of the fact that you got a little bit nervous around him.

At the same time, calling him cute is also going to add to the
uncertainty factor just a little bit too.

Chances are that hes going to be slightly torn about whether or

not your remark means that you think hes more on the
endearing side or the dorky side, and that will serve you well in
ensuring that he doesnt get too cocky about thinking hes got
all of the control in the equation.

Him You are pretty!

You Thank you, just dont think anything naughty yet.

Guys are oftentimes wrestling around with ideas about ways

that they can express their interest without coming across as
sounding too pervy, so when you do this, theres a chance he
might be taken aback by the fact that you latched on to the
naughtiness element without being prompted by anything
explicitly naughty from him first.

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Him Were better off being friends.

You I know, I would drive you totally crazy if we were

to be a couple. That would be weird anyway.

He probably expects you to try and find all kinds of ways that
hes wrong when you say something like this, but when you
simply agree with him, youll be showing him that youre not
like all of those other desperate and clingy girls who cant last
more than a couple of hours without some mans approval. You
show that youre a person, not an unfinished half waiting to be
claimed.

Him I know you like me.

You Yeah I like you, youre cute but a little annoying.

Hes probably preparing for you to deny the fact that you like
him after he says this, but after you come back by confirming
that you do and calling him annoying, it will be like a double-
whammy blow to his expectations that leaves his head spinning.

Him Im not too sure this is working out.

You Its okay, you dont need to pretend. I totally saw

you checking me out multiple times.

Here you are not even accepting his idea of rejection, rather
you are flipping the tables by letting him know that you never
really thought the two of you could work well together as a
couple anyway.

This would instantly put him in the submissive seat & he would
wonder if you even liked him at all.

Here are a few more quick examples you can use once your
date is over & youre headed back home (Use these as texts).

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It was a great night; It was cute to see you sneakily
checking me out.

You are a nice guy, I like you and it was cute how you
kept staring at me as I finished my food.

You were so nice today, lets hope you maintain this in

the future.

You hugged me like a baby hugs his mother! It was cute.

Id like to see you again.

I know you had a lot of funThis must have been one of

the best dates youve ever had. I hope you dont stalk me
after this.

If you are in a relationship, here are some Obsession Phrases

for various relationship situationsIf he is arguing with you and
highly angry, say the following

Did someone tell you how cute you look when youre
angry? Your little nose goes all red.

I dont mind your anger as long as I get to see this hot

intensity on your face. Its so damn sexy!

As mentioned before, a lot of guys just arent too familiar with

the fact that there are lots of girls who are actually quite
attracted to theyre intense expressions.

He probably expects to come back at you by denying that your

nose gets red when youre mad, but he wont be expecting it to
get thrown right back at him.

This is just a cute little way to reverse the script and put him in
a role where he seeks your validation.

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If he is acting distant, say the following

Whats with all the sudden distance? Actually, never

mind! I know you love me a lot and wont be able to keep
your hands away from me for too long!

A lot of men do expect their women to grow clingy and thirsty

for attention when they pull away for a long enough period of
time, but when you honor his distance without even asking why
hes acting so distant in the very first place, hes going to be
pleasantly surprised.

If he is lecturing you, say the following

Its so cute & hot when you lecture me like that!

Guys love to pull the its so cute when you do (X,Y,Z) card on
a girl when shes frustrated, but its not often that theyll be
talked to in this way at the same time let him have it and
watch the confusion run over his face when it happens.
If he wants to be left alone, say the following

Okay! Please have all the time you want. Either way, I
know how crazy youre about me and wont be able to
keep your hands away from me for too long.

Knowing the right time to give you partner space is an essential

aspect of any relationship, and so being able to remain secure
in your appeal even when it isnt immediately apparent will
score a lot of points in your court.

Look! No need to play any games with me, I know you

already want me. Why dont you just ask me out
already?

Lots of guys expect girls to take the backseat and remain

passive when it comes to the progression of a relationship, but
when you show that youre not about the mind game business,
youll snap him out of any misunderstanding he has about it.

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Hell know you mean business.

I like a man who challenges me, but I can already see

how badly you want me.

When you make a statement like this, theres a good chance

that you could actually be making the man fairly nervous about
the fact that hes too transparent about all of the things that he
wants this will break any illusion he has that hes controlling
the momentum.

Oh so youre going to play hard to get? Nice! I like a

man who puts an effort into winning me over.

OR

So do you always play hard to get? I know you have a

cute side to you which is hiding somewhere.

Guys love to play hard to get because they believe were

clueless about when its actually happening, but when you show
that youre fully aware of what hes trying to pull, it will snap
him out of that false sense of security.

So by now you should understand the basic science behind it

all! Twist a guys words around like this, and in no time flat, you
spark a level of attraction and desire within him that may have
seemed impossible before.

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 Chapter 14 Subconscious Bonding Phrases

Do you think you know what the single most important

element is that can inspire a man to truly care about a woman?

The element that Im coming from is the kind that fully awakens
the instincts within him that compel him to embrace his role as
a protector.

Im talking about the instincts within him that truly arouse his
natural need for commitment, instead of the reasons a woman
will try to give him to want commitment.

What Im telling you here is that if you can unlock this

extremely powerful element, you will have what it takes to
make a man actually desire to be committed to you forever.

As a matter of fact, the woman who can master the core of this
element will essentially be fulfilling her man in a way that
absolutely nothing else in the world can.

Hes never going to want to lose you, and it will all be because
of hundreds of tiny factors that blend together and create a
grand picture of paradise with someone he sees as the ultimate
partner.

With nothing more than the most subtle gestures, you will be
able to trigger a certain kind of affection within him that you
will literally be able to feel youll be able to feel the affection
pulsing from within him when he holds you, when he hugs you,
when his head is on your shoulder and in the way that he plays

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with your hair.

This is the kind of affection that compels a man to tell his

woman that she is even more than everything he has ever
desired in his life, in any other kind of way.

So now, what exactly is this wonderful element that Im

referring to?

The element can be best described if I first tell you a story.

Have you ever heard about the story of the Magical
Fisherman?

Once upon a time, there were fishermen that had made a sport
out of competing amongst themselves to see which among
them could collect the most fish.

The fishermens competition was so incredibly fierce that it took

them all the way to the deepest ends of the oceans.

For hours at a time, these fishermen would care about nothing

else aside from catching as many fish as possible in order to
come out on top above all of the rest out there fishing with
them.

It was said that if a fisherman was able to capture ten fish or

more in a single day, it would be considered his lucky day
this was due to the fact that most of the time, the average
fisherman failed to capture even half of what would be
considered necessary for his lucky day.

However, there was one fisherman among all of the rest who
managed to stand out by being capable of catching far more

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than the average amount of fish on a regular basis. For this one
particular fisherman, it would seem as though every single day
was always his lucky day when it came to the daily haul.

Not only was this one fisherman capable of catching at least ten
fish per day, but he was actually even able to regularly outshine
the other fisherman by over ten times what they were able to
catch on a regular basis.

This miraculously successful fisherman could be described as

short, beardy, messy, and wielded an impressively large gut. On
the outside, there was nothing remarkable about him besides
the fact that he was slightly messier than the average man.

This short, beardy, heavy man was able to reel in fifty of sixty
fish per day, in comparison to the other fishermens typical
hauls of about five or six fish in a day.

Naturally, all of the other fishermen were more than just a little
bit jealous of the mans seemingly inexplicable success with his
daily hauls. With his almost unnatural success rate, the man
managed to inspire more than a few ambitious copycats.

Try as they might to emulate the mans success, none of them

were successful. They got similar fishing rods to him, used bait
that was similar to the kind that he used, and yet they were still
generally unable to capture more than ten fish per day at even
their best.

When they were finally devoid of all hope, they found no other
choice than to approach the man directly and ask him just what
exactly the secret was behind his insane success rate.

The bearded mans reply was low and subtle. He replied, -I try

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to think like the fish, while everyone else is thinking like a
fisherman.

He continued, Everyone else is always trying to focus on

getting a better rod, or better bait. They are completely
ignoring what the true target in question is the FISH.

You might not know this but fish prefer a certain kind of
water temperature, so they swim to a specific place in the
ocean where the water suits them.

There are certain times during the day when theyre most
hungry, and most likely to be lured into bait.

So in a nutshell, this man was studying how to be

psychologically in-sync with his target. Instead of attempting to
conquer the fish from the outside, with his gear, he instead
chose to understand the fish on the inside.

By studying the psychological thought process of the fish that

he was after, this man was able to make it so that he would
never be confused about how the fish would be behaving on
any given day.

While other man scratched their heads about why fish wouldnt
take a bit of their bait, this man knew in advance that the spot
they were fishing in was a poor choice.

The moral of the story is this: if you want to catch fish, then
you have to think like the fish. Its really as simple as that.
Now chances are that youre not looking to catch sixty fish,
though, so what does this have to do with you?

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In truth, if youre looking to unlock the deepest amount of
affection within your man that you can, then the story of the
magical fisherman is related to everything that you want.

You see, most women out there are stuck approaching their
relationship issues in a manner that can actually be compared
to the average fishermen in the story.

In essence, these women are making the first major mistake

that the magical fisherman outlined they are thinking like
fishermen instead of the fish themselves.

Translated into relevant relationship terms, this means that the

women are more concerned with becoming the best man-
chasers than they can instead of choosing to invest time in
learning the secrets of the male thought process.

So if you have no problem understanding that, its time to move

onto that secret element that Ive been referring to all this
time. The element that we are concerned with here is none
other than the element of understanding.

In order to get any man to bond with you on a subconscious

level, you must first understand the core psychology and
thought process of men even better than they
themselves do.

I dont exaggerate when I say that it is absolutely imperative

that you understand them men better than they
understand themselves, and give them exactly what they
need without actually having to verbalize whatever it is.

Now you may be wondering how you can actually accomplish

something that sounds so major.

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How is it possible for us to understand men even better then
they themselves do?

Fortunately, you dont actually have to know the answer to why

its possible to understand men better than they understand
themselves.

The answer is so damn simple that youre probably actually

going to want to kick yourself for not knowing it all along.

Heres the simple answer thats eluded so many women for

years before making them kick themselves from its extreme
simplicity A man desperately wants to be seen as a HERO
in your eyes, and he often feels an unconscious, strong
attention to woman who is able to validate the special need that
he has to feel like a savior.

Now, you may be wondering, what do you need to do in order

to validate his need to feel like a celebrated hero?

All that you need to do is use what I like to call the

Subconscious Bonding phrases.

There best way to illustrate what these are is just by providing

some clear cut examples, and Ive prepared a number of those
below.

I am so proud to have you in my life. Youve really made

me a better woman. Thank you for that.

Weve talked a lot about how much men want to be valued as

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heroes and one-of-a-kind saviors, and a statement like this
satisfies that need very plainly.

If youre able to make him feel like hes needed as a source of

positive energy and safety, hes going to subconsciously attach
himself to you even though this is a fairly simple phrase, it
accomplishes what were after.

Ive been feeling extremely excited lately, because I

realized that I get to watch you become this really
amazing man, first hand. I am such a lucky woman to
have that opportunity.
Not only does this phrase make him feel like hes your hero, but
it also makes him proud of the fact that youre admiring his
power.

Not only is he going to be subconsciously attaching himself to

you due to the fact that he feels like hes your hero, but hes
also going to start considering you a source of legitimate power
as well.

I feel so loved, because of the way that you ____ (here

you insert the action or behavior that he is exhibiting
toward you.)
The possibilities with a phrase like this truly are limitless, and
no matter what action it is that you mention, its going to
positively reinforce that action and the amount of subconscious
attraction that he had towards you at the same time.

When you say that he makes you feel loved, you are instantly
making him feel like that hero in your eyes that he strives to
become every single say in order to feel fulfilled as man.

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Not only will he feel like a hero, but also, when that action is
reinforced, hes going to do it more often and with higher
enthusiasm this is mutually beneficial for the both of you.

I have never had a man make me feel so understood. I

am so happy that I can call you my man, because you
really know how to complete me.
This statement strokes ego of the mans inner hero in the same
way as the previous phrase, and in addition to that, it more
strongly personalizes the effect of his heroism on you yourself
as a person.

When he subconsciously attaches himself to you, based on a

phrase like this, hes going to be much more likely to associate
his sense of being with your own sense of being.

At the same time that he considers himself to be your hero, he

will be all the more likely to also see you as a vital component
of who he is and a legitimate source of his heroic power.

I noticed that recently youve really been working hard

on _____(here you insert the action or behavior). I want
you to know how much I really admire that about you,
and appreciate that. Its really motivating to see you
working on that, and I love that about you.
Now you probably fully understand by now that all men want to
feel like their efforts are being appreciated this means that
addition to wanting to feel like theyre your hero, they also want
to be able to feel like you admire them for the things theyre
doing that may not directly relate to you at the same time.

When you show him that you legitimately care about the things
that hes invested in, hes going to feel more motivated to

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pursue those interests of his that get him out of bed in the
morning as a core component of the kind of person that he is
by default.

When he starts to pursue his own interest at a more intense

pace due to the fact that you admire him for it, hes going to
start associating you as a person more closely with that very
thing that hes extremely invested in as a person.

He is going to start seeing you as synonymous with the

satisfaction of his passions, which consequently, will make it so
that he actually starts to identify you as one of his passions.

Lots of couples dissolve because the partners composing them

arent able to find a balance between who they are as a couple
and who they are as people, but with a statement like this, you
are showing him that your admiration for him can actually
enhance the satisfaction that he gets from pursuing everything
that makes him the kind of person he is in the very first place.

I really love it when you _____(here you insert an

action). It makes me feel _____(here you insert your
positive reaction). In fact recently I have been feeling
that I have a lot to learn from you, because of this fact.
You really make it so easy to love you, and you make me
truly want to be the best woman that I can be for you.

The most long-lasting couples dont just benefit from one

another in terms of the warmth that they feel from one another
they also benefit from being able to learn from one another
and develop as people.

When you tell you man that you are able to benefit simply from
understanding who he is as a person, you are basing the entire

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foundation of the relationship from a place that is extremely
positive and conducive to happiness for the both of you.

At the same time, you will be making him feel like more than
just a hero you will be making him feel like a teacher,
someone who has something valuable to share with the world in
terms of bringing out the best in everyone around them.

When you express that he makes you want to become the best
woman that you can be, you are also expressing to him that
you are the kind of woman that wants to grow with him instead
of just riding on his back a high-quality man will appreciate
the fact that you are ambitious enough to want to better
yourself and bring something to the table.

Here are a few more examples of these phrases

Sometimes when you _____(here you insert an action),

it really makes me feel _____(here you insert a positive
reaction). I really respect that about you.

You are always so patient and understand even when I

am being difficult. No man will ever do that. I highly
admire that quality in you.

I feel so much happiness when I see all the little things

you do for me. I care for you very deeply and respect
everything you do for me.

Oh my god! You are such a gifted human being, you are

able to find solutions to really difficult problems. I dont
know how I could ever manage without you by my side.

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 I feel so safe and protected when you hold me tight.
Thank you so much for being such a loving
husband/boyfriend.

I admire how much you do for me! In fact, I am not

doing enough. Thank you so much for being there for
me.

Ive never told you this, but I feel proud to be by your

side.

Goodness! How do you manage to handle difficult

problems so well? Its a very rare quality. I admire you
for that.

You are such an unselfish person. Thank you for doing

so much for me.

Although we fight a lot, have I ever told you that youll

always be my most favorite person in the world? I
admire and respect you more than you know.

Youre such a thoughtful man for caring for me

whenever I need it! Thank you.

Your presence gets me excited even when I am having

a bad day! Thanks for being such an inspiration.

By now, I hope you get the idea and this is just the beginning.
You can come up with plenty of similar phrases on your own by
using these lines as the source.

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 Chapter 15 Monogamy Awakener Phrases

In my time of providing counsel to my clients in need of

relationship advice, I have come to hear one recurring story
more than a couple of times.

If you can identify with these clients of mine, then your story
probably goes something like this:

Youve been seeing him for several weeks, even several months
or years, and you just know in the pit of your heart that hes
truly in love with you. He gives you plenty of respect, he took
his time completing the chase, and he eventually won you over.

Yet even after putting in all of the work thats expected of a

man who truly wants to spend his life with a special woman,
there is something holding him back at the end of the day.

You cant quite place your finger on what exactly it is, but you
know that theres something keeping him from fully committing
to you for good.

You definitely havent just been sitting idly by while he wrestles

with his indecision. Youve directly asked him how he feels, but
try as you might, it just seems as though youre moving further
away from any kind of final resolution.

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The most solid answer that youre able to draw out of him is
that he just doesnt feel like hes quite ready for a complete
commitment.

Now if youve gone as asking him about commitment and

marriage directly, even though your honesty is certainly
commendable, its not exactly the best way to go about things if
you want to make some legitimate progress.

If you really want to see some legitimate steps towards

consolidating a strong relationship with the man that youre
feeling is truly the one for you, then it has to be him that makes
that final choice you will only know if its the real deal if he
actually takes some initiative in consolidating a true committed
relationship with you.

Now chances are that youve actually expressed to him how

much the idea of commitment truly means to you. You may
have explicitly mentioned to him that commitment is something
that means a lot to you and that settling down and having
children is something that you definitely foresee in your future.

Even though youve fully let him know how vital the concept of
commitment is to the kind of person that you are, he still hasnt
done anything to indicate that hes going to pop the question
any time soon.

Your every thought regarding commitment with is filled with

confusion, befuddlement, frustration, dissatisfaction, and yet

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still a strangely powerful hope.

Theres no denying that youre as ready as you can possibly be,

but you still need him to be ready before anything can actually
happen.

In order to ensure that hes as much onboard with committing

to you as possible, you can aim to show your man that
committing to you isnt going to be a boring chore with no
excitement.

In addition to showing him that commitment to you can be fun,

you should be showing him that committing to you will be
supportive as well.

You need to show this man that youre not just going to be
another woman thats going to stifle him and hold him back
from his potential. You need to show him that everything he
wants and needs is something that you can provide, without a
shred of clinginess and neediness.

Now do you remember exactly what it was like when you met
your man for the very first time? Do you remember what it was
like when you first felt that he was actually interested in you?

Do you remember what it was that first gave you two the spark
that let you know that the two of you actually had the potential
to be something greater? Perhaps it was all your self-assurance
about the matter. Perhaps you were in a place in your life in
which you exuded so much self-confidence and stability that he

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respected you for it.

When a woman doesnt appear like shes desperate to get with

the first man that can support her, she distinguishes herself
from thousands of other women that scare men away from
seeming like theyll sap the life, energy and money out of them.

When you attracted your man to you for the very first time,
maybe it was because you actually had something to bring to
the table. Perhaps it was a combination of the warmth of your
company, your interest, your friends, and your general life
satisfaction.

Chances are that when you first ever actually met your man,
you gave him a legitimate sense of fun. Perhaps you were able
to spend as much time with one another as you wanted,
without even the slightest bit of pressure.

Perhaps in addition to having good times with one another, you

could actually enjoy learning things about each other at the
same time.

No matter where it is that you actually went with one another,

you could bask in the radiance of one anothers company the
movies, the pizzeria, dinner at the lake, it didnt even matter.

When things were at their best point between the two of you,
you probably werent even aware of it, and chances are that
you werent aware of it either. Now, at this point in time, you
two have come to a point in time in which you are consciously

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aware of the dynamic.

In this newfound consciousness, you are prepared for the

chance of something more, and he is not yet sure if he is ready
to full dive into something at an entirely new level.

For a man, you see, commitment is never something that can

be decided overnight not even close. A man has to take into
account every single experience that theyve ever shared with
you, from the big ones to the small ones, and use that in their
process of consideration.

Oftentimes, the man is going to think about what the forecast

of the relationship truly is. A man has to think about what the
next few years being with you are actually going to entail
before he makes the decision that determines the rest of his
entire life hopefully, it doesnt have to be a decision that hes
going to regret.

As weve covered more than a couple of times so far, humans

are naturally inclined to seek out pleasure and avoid pain. We
seek out positive reinforcement of our behavior, and we actively
and subconsciously avoid feelings of negative punishment.

Naturally, if a man associates being with you with an unpleasant

stimulus, hes going to want to avoid the idea of it all cost. If
the idea of committing to you triggers painful feelings in his
body, hes going to make not committing to you as the very top
of his priorities.

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Now before I move onto the next point, I have to point out the
fact that this may not be taken as completely politically correct
try not to hate me for this. In the worst case scenario, a
woman is going to wind up getting more rights than the man in
equation.

Because of the asymmetry in rights, a lot of men are very

inclined to support the idea of prenups before entertaining the
idea of marriage.

Im not here to defend the male side over the rest of my ladies,
but we have to play it straight. If there was ever a moment in
which it seemed like divorce was imminent, you would be full
entitled to a part of finances, real estate, and a percentage of
everything else that he has too.

So, you see, the male fear of commitment is deeper than just
not being able to see as many different women as he wants it
is an extremely real, valid fear that he has. Even if a man
completely adores you, there is a high chance that hes going to
be highly consumed by the fear in his heart about what the
hard implications of the risks are.

Heres another thing to be concerned about if your man has

had a bad experience in the past, and especially one in which
he legitimately invested a huge part of himself, body and soul,
hes going to be even less open to the idea of putting himself on
the line again.

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If he faced a horrible divorce or breakup in the past, youve got
a serious challenge up ahead in getting him to subscribe to the
idea of committing to you and giving it another try.

Now even though all of these reasons are very strong, at the
end of the day, they are really only surface-level reasons the
bigger reasons are generally much deeper than that.

Once upon a time, I had a client who was at a loss for how to
understand why her boyfriend couldnt ever seem to fully
commit to her.

I asked her to give me just a few details about what the nature
of her relationship is, I realized something the things that
they argued over were always the smaller things.

They fought at lot, but at the same time, almost nothing that
they fought over ever actually seemed to merit the extreme
fallout that resulted from it.

Despite the obvious fact that she and her man were generally
arguing over nothing, she didnt seem to fully understand the
situation.

I could see that her boyfriend was observing every single one of
her reactions to the little things that didnt matter individually,
but cumulatively, they determined the course of where things
were going to head in the long term.

Before a commitment actually happens, a man will take note of

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how you react to smaller issues in the relationship if the way
that you handle those things isnt something that he can see
himself dealing with on a larger scale, then the chances of him
settling are far less than they could be.

For all of these reasons, you need to keep these three things
into mind if you want your man to commit to you exclusively.

1. Act like you are completely secure with or without him

When you dont actually depend on a guy to make you happy,

youre never going to look like youre going to be a desperate
and codependent person.

You are going to be bursting with a kind of radiant, powerful

energy that endears you to a man as a mature person who
wont wear him down with neediness. Hes going to feel more
secure with you.

2. Demonstrate that you are independent

Above all else, you need to show your man that you would like
to commit, but you dont actually need him to commit to you in
order to feel fulfilled as a human being.

A man needs to know that if he doesnt want you in his life, its
not going to utterly destroy you from the inside out.

Not depending on your mans approval for anything is not only

going to make him feel better, but its also going to make you
feel better about your life in general as well.

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This is going to show your man that a committed relationship
with you doesnt equate to just being trapped or caged.

You arent trying to force your man into doing something that
he has no will at all to do on the other hand, you are giving
this man the absolute freedom he needs to follow what his
heart desires.

When a man knows that a girls entire sense of well-being

doesnt completely hinge upon whether or not he approves of
her, hes not going to feel like hes suddenly been trapped into
the position of responsibility for everything that she needs in
the world.

When he knows that his woman is completely independent, its

going to make him want to capture her instead massive
difference here, isnt it?

3. Demonstrate positive mindset

It may not be the easiest thing in the world to do, but even
when things arent going entirely in your favor, you will benefit
massively from knowing how to exude a real glow of positivity
when it comes to the way that you conduct yourself around
your man on an everyday basis.

When can show your man that you arent a negatively-minded

person, you will have mastered what is possibly the most
important of all of the things that I have given to you to learn in
this guide.

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Remember, humans seek out positivity and actively avoid the
things that fill them with negativity.

If you can show to your man that you will make him laugh
instead of nagging him, he is naturally going to be more
attracted to you and idea of actually committing to you down
the line if youre negative, its the opposite.

Now there are three major reasons why it may seem like your
man may be prevented from committing to you

1. He feels that his freedom is jeopardized.

2. He feels like he may be burdened down with more

responsibility than he can handle.

3. He fears that his life is going to change for the worse if he

does.

There are more than few ways you can steer him away from
fearing these three things, and they come in the form of my
Monogamy Awakener phrases. Ive prepared some examples
below.

If hes afraid that you might lock him down, try something like -

Sweetheart, I know youre concerned and weve already

discussed this before. I know you love your you time,
and I want you to know I love you, too. Im not about
tying you down and spending every minute with you. I
understand that each of us would want to have the
freedom in our lives to continue our own interests apart

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from each other sometimes. Thats healthy for you and
for me, and I wouldnt want it any other way.

This is going to make it so that your man knows that you

legitimately respect his alone time, which will prevent him from
feeling like committing to him is going to trap him into
something that hell never escape from and regain his
independence.

I believe in having a life of our own outside of the

relationship. Just because were together doesnt mean
we should do everything together. I would love it if you
spend some free time with your buddies and do things on
your own.

Before a man commits, he wants to be able to know that hes

not going to be giving up everything that makes him feel like
his life is actually his own. With a statement like this, you are
ensuring that he knows you have no intention of altering his
lifestyle or assimilating him into yours.

Now if he starts fearing that he might have to provide for you

financially because of this new commitment, you can say...

Honey! I don't believe that a man is responsible for

providing everything. I just want you to know that,
whether its financially or otherwise, we would be in this
together, and that it takes two to tango.

Financial struggles are one of the most common and also one of
the most legitimate fears that a man has in regards to what it
means to commit to you.

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A lot of men want to believe that their relationship wont end up
financially compromising them, but with this statement, you
make it one hundred percent clear that he has nothing to worry
about.

Letting him know that you are going to take financial

responsibility for yourself is not only going to alleviate him of
any fears that he has about losing his money in a relationship
with you, but its also going to help him respect you more as an
individual person and not just a liability it will feel good to
assert your own independence as well.

If he fears that his life will change for the worse, you can say
things like

I am not the kind of a woman who believes in locking

her men down. I expect you to have a life of your own
outside of our relationship.

Once again, this is something that just about all men fear to an
extent, but rarely get verbally comforted about. If you can show
him that have full intentions of allowing him to indulge in his
freedom, you are not only putting him at ease, but youre also
probably motivating him to keep on living the fullest life that he
can.

I know that a lot of guys are worried about commitment

making their life less exciting, but trust me, I am all
about keeping things as fun as possible. I want life with
you to be an adventure.

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With a statement as simple as this, you are showing your man
that youre not content to live out the days of your relationship
trapped of doing the same old thing, day in and day out.

When a relationship is an adventure, it is something that only

continues to be enriching and empowering as you move on
along- when its a routine, its just a slow death.

Humans love to engage in what gives them positive energy

instead of negative energy, so when you illustrate that youd
like to keep things fun instead of just letting things get
monotonous, you make a pledge to avoid the negative and
embrace the positives.

All of these phrases represent things that committed men all

hope to be true on a deep level, but they dont very often get to
actually hear these things confirmed.

When they can actually hear the things that they hope for deep
in their heart, it will make them much more willing to commit
than ninety percent of other men out there.

With the power of Monogamy Awakener phrases, you can

proactively confront all of the deep-seated psychological hang-
ups that a man has with commitment and nip them in the bud!

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 Final Words

I was inspired to write Obsession Phrases based on the lessons

taught by people who may not necessarily be in the business of
relationship counseling, but nonetheless were all in the shared
possession of something extremely valuable.

Though these people I drew inspiration from came from wildly

different corners of the globe, at distantly separated points in
time, each of them carried a certain powerful element this
element always has and always will lead anyone who carries it
towards extreme success in life, love and war.

The element that Im referring to here is the element of

patience the patience to be insightful instead of aggressive,
and the patience to draw in the things that one desires instead
of pursuing them.

In a way, you could say that it is not only patience, but rather,
the lucrative qualities that result from it.

We all want to be involved in the kinds of relationships that

make us smile, laugh, grow and reminisce that isnt at all
destructive in and of itself, but things get complicated when
women (and men) decide that theyre running out of time.

The feeling of running out of time creates fear, and when one
feels fear, one makes mistakes that could have been avoided.
The mistakes manifest in behaviors that are coercive,
premature, and completely lacking in insight all of which are
perfectly capable being based in nothing but the best

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intentions.

Its the fusion of good intentions with impatience that leads to

the creation of poor relationships and the utter destruction of
better relationships.

Wanting the best but doing the worst is a fatal commitment

killer, and you can observe it across couples of all ages
nagging, blaming, insulting, manipulating and coercing are all
examples of what can happen because of this mindset.

Obsession Phrases is essentially a compendium of verbal tactics

Ive created in order to fuse the full realizations of most
womens good intentions for their relationships, while
counteracting the negative effects that can result from a lack of
patience in achieving those realizations.

In essence, every one of us is fishing when it comes to finding

the ultimate partner to go through life with. Some of us have
better luck that others, but nothing is ever guaranteed the
ones who are able to come home with the greatest bounties are
those who, like the magic fisherman, have learned how to think
just like that which they desire.

Rather than hoping to force or beg for good results, those who
think like the magical fisherman have learned how to do what it
takes in order to turn the odds as strongly in their favor as
possible. Obsession Phrases will do something even more
valuable than just drawing in the best possible relationship for
you into your life it will assist you in avoiding the worst kinds
of relationships.

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When Obsession Phrases are spoken, they arent only
communicated to the man that youre involved with they are
also communicated to a very deep place within your own mind.

These phrases that allow your man to see that you arent a
codependent whiner will not only psychologically condition him
to respect you more, but they will also condition you to realize
your own power to a greater extent as a result. A woman who
has mastered Obsession Phrases has not only become an expert
in the art of syncing with the ebbs and flows of male
psychology, but also a master of how own domain as well.

I wish you the best in realizing the full extent of what it means
to acquire the ultimate relationship, and in the process, become
an ultimately empowered woman!

Obsession Phrases Review Index

As a small parting gift, Ive listed all of the specific examples of

the different types of phrases covered by each section of the
guide.

Now that you understand the implicit power of all of the

principles weve covered, you can use this list to quickly
reference any of the phrases that are best suited to your
particular needs!

Razzle-Dazzle Phrases

1. I was both excited and scared about this.

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2. I am usually the nicest person youll ever come
across, all my friends say I am the nicest girl they know,
but I have a very evil and weird side to me. Honestly, if I
could tell you the weird things Ive done

3. I dont know if I should tell you this or not, I know

its funny, but I have a mental checklist for men. I
noticed four really good qualities in you, BUTwith two
not-so-good qualities.

4. I dont know if I should tell you this or not, I know

its funny, but I have a mental checklist for men. I
noticed four really good qualities in you, BUTwith two
not-so-good qualities.

Everlasting Attraction Phrases

1. You make me feel so safe and loved, thank you.

2. Just thinking of you brings a smile to my face, thank

you for being such a special presence in my life.

3. I love how you keep my needs in mind even when I

dont ask you to. Youre really special to me and I just
wanted to let you know that.

4. I really like to have someone like you by my side.

5. Ive never ever seen a man who knows how to keep a

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woman pleased as much as you do. I am so thankful to
be around you.

6. Ive been wanting to tell you this, but Ive been the
happiest since the day Ive met you. You give me the
best feeling in the world. Thank you so much for being
there for me.

7. Youve been so good to me that sometimes I dont

feel I even deserve it! Youre the best man ever, thank
you.

8. Remember the time when I was going through a

rough patch and you supported me all the way? I want to
let you know that I dont think anyone else would have
stood by me like you do. I appreciate you for it.

Whiz Bang Phrases

1. Eric! I am not going to hide, the world seems so

perfect when I have you by my side. I dont know if you
feel the same way about me or not, but I want to let you
know that youre really special to me. Thats all.

2. Eric, I want to be honest with you today. When I first

met you, I didnt think like I deserved you. You somehow
know how to keep me smiling even when I am down. I
dont know how you feel about me, but I just want to let
you know that I love it when you hold me in your arms &
you give me the best feeling in the world.

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3. Eric, I have to confess something. I lose myself when
I am around you. I get needy for your love and I am not
ashamed to admit it. I do get jealous when other girls
stare at you. I long to have you love me, adore me &
cherish me and I do understand thats an unrealistic
expectation. But I just wanted to honestly share my
feelings with you today. Thanks for being such a joy for
me.

4. You know Eric, you might not know this about me,
but Im a sucker for affection. When I love someone, I do
it with all my heart and soul. I love the feeling of being in
love, I love the feeling of being around you.

5. I know that I might seem a little too eager and even

desperate to you, but I just want you to know that Im a
little weak when it comes to matters of the heart and Ill
love you no matter where things go in the future.

Attraction Spinner Phrases

1. Eric, although I really enjoy what we share currently,

I think eventually this needs to stop. I mean, I dont
want things getting too intense between us.

2. I feel really good when we do this, but lately Ive

been getting mixed feelings.

3. Eric, although youre an amazing man, but I am

starting to feel a little friction & it makes me feel weird.
Sorry! But can we please take a break from this?

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4. Eric, both of us wanted to keep it strictly sexual, but
I feel that things are getting too intense between us. Can
we please take a break? I dont want to get too deep into
this.

5. Eric, were doing too much of this lately, can we

please slow down a little? Youve started treating me like
your girlfriend.

6. Eric, I enjoy the physical moments we spend

together, but I think you are starting to take it too
seriously, can we please slow down a bit?

Obey Me Phrases

1. Honey, can you please help me clean the house today?

Ive been working for the last three hours and dont think
I can do it all on my own.

2. Can you please pick me up from work today? Irs been

so long since weve gone out together, maybe we could
go to your favorite restaurant as well.

3. My friend is throwing a part next week and I would

love to take you there. I want all my friends to finally see
how great my boyfriend truly is.

4. Can you please just hold me for a while? I feel this

amazing sense of calm and security when you hold me
and I just cant fully explain it.

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5. Can we please just talk a little bit longer? Im having
a rough time at work and talking to you just makes me
feel better.
Emotional Transparency Phrases

1. Eric, I wanted to tell you that I love & respect you

deeply, although we have our ups and downs but youre
still the man I look up to. Although I know its hard for
you, but I need you to know that you could share
anything with me and be assured that Ill never judge
you for anything.

2. Eric! I know you love me a lot & I can feel it in the

way you look at me, the way you warmly hold me but as
a woman, some part of me still craves to hear what you
truly feel about me. Please know that even if you dislike
certain things about me, Id like you to please share it
with me without fearing any judgment.

3. Eric! I wanted to let you know how proud I am to

have a husband/boyfriend like you. Lately, Ive noticed
that youre a lot more distant and honestly, if there is
something I could do to help you or if you would like to
talk about it, Id really appreciate it. However, if you
need some distance, then I completely understand and
Ill be around whenever you need me.

4. Eric, today I wanted to let you know that youre an

amazing boyfriend/husband and even more amazing
man. I enjoy everything youve given me and I am
thankful to be in your life. I was just a little concerned as
lately youve been a lot more inside your head and just
wanted to let you know that Im here for you anytime
you need me.

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5. Eric, I dont just see you as my boyfriend/husband, I
actually also see you as my best friend! Youve cared for
me, adored me & have been there for me unconditionally.
I just wanted to let you know that Id really love it if you
could open a little bit more around me emotionally. I
know its not the easiest thing to do when I am being so
demanding of you, but please understand that it would
truly make me feel loved if you opened up more.

Love Cocktail Phrases

1. Honey! I think weve grown distant lately & need

some space. I can see that you arent comfortable with
me like you used to be, and Ive decided we need some
time apart from each other. Maybe its best for both of
us.

2. Ive been having a blast and would love to tell you all
about it. Things have been going great for me. We
definitely needed time apart. I guess when things
happen they happen for a good reason, right? Anyway, I
am in a rush, Ill speak to you or write later.

Mutual Pleasure Phrases

1. Hon, I know how good you are at fixing things. This

faucets been dripping forever, it seems, and I just cant
seem to figure it out.

2. I really admire a man like you.

3. I love it when you hug me. Having you around and

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feeling your touch makes me feel so safe and warm.

4. I am so proud to have a guy like you in my life.

5. You are very important to me. I am so blessed to have

you in my life.

6. I know you can achieve anything you put your mind

to.

7. Thanks for being a great boyfriend/husband.

8. I love it when you surprise me.

9. I really need your help. I cant do it without you.

10. I trust you with all my heart.

11. Its amazing how good you really are at doing

______ (insert action)

12. Honey! Can we please go out to eat tonight?

Im exhausted and feeling very stressed & really dont
feel like cooking.

13. Oh! While were at it, how about we go to

XYZ restaurant? Its been a while since weve eaten
there. Ive heard they have new special items on the
menu

14. You know? Theres this really good show this

weekend, and Ive been just dying to see it. Perhaps we

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could go together, and then go out to that really nice jazz
bar you took me to a couple of weeks ago. I know Id
really like that.

15. Honey! I love the fact that you bring flowers

for me daily, it truly makes my day!

16. Honey! I need to let you know that its

really difficult for me to organize your clothes every day
after you leave. I would love to do it for you, but I cant
do it every single day

17. Honey! I know that you care about me deeply

& have been so good to me. I truly admire that quality in
you. However, lately you seem a bit distant; this isnt like
your usual self. Is there something wrong?

18. You know I am really lucky to have you as my

mate.

19. You work so hard to provide me with

everything. I just wanted to let you know that I really
appreciate everything you have done for me.

20. I am really sorry if I am disturbing youBut I

just felt like spending some time with you todayBut if
you are busy, we can do this later.

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 Monstrous Intrigue Phrases

1. Eric! I know that we havent really been as in tune

lately as weve always been. Honestly! I completely
understand if you need space. In fact, I think both of us
need space at the moment.

2. Eric, I know we havent really talked that much

lately, but a ton of exciting things have been happening
in my life lately. Id love to talk about it with you
whenever youre ready.

3. Eric! I know maybe we had too much of each other in

the past few months. I am glad both of us are in this
situation where we can have time to ourselves as well.
There have been a few exciting changes in my life and Id
love to share it whenever you are ready.

4. Eric! Ive been getting mixed feelings about us lately,

I dont know if its good or bad, but I am glad that both
of us have time to each other to reflect better on things.
Oh & by the way, a few new & exciting changes have
taken place that Id love to share with you someday

Secret Fantasy Phrases

1. Eric! I love seeing the sparkle in your eyes when you

look at me. Honestly! Just seeing your eyes makes my
heart race.

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2. Eric! Your nearness overwhelms me. I shouldnt say
this but just feeling your hands on my hands sends
shivers of delight race through my body.

3. Eric, the other day when you hugged me

unexpectedly, I felt currents of excitement racing
through me.

4. Eric, when you gently held my hand the other day,

my heart started pounding as if it was going to jump out
of my chest.

5. Eric! When you hug me tight it makes me feel special,

makes me feel happy and honestly, it turns me on.

6. Eric, Do you remember when we first met and how

our knees mistakenly brushed? Just that slight touch of
you on me, made me heart accelerate like crazy.

7. Eric! I dont know if I should say this or not, but your

kisses are an addiction, I crave them daily.

8. Eric, you make me feel like the most important

woman in the world & honestly that turns me on in ways
I cant describe.

9. Eric! When you look at me, I feel warmness inside

me. When you hold me, I lose my senses completely and
just being able to smell your scent makes Goosebumps
explode all over me.

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10. Eric, I shouldnt say this but I cant help it!
You looked extremely handsome the other day and I
couldnt push that image out of my mind, not even for a
single second. I dont know this but when I was looking
at you that day my mind was imagining things, naughty
thingsOkay! I should stop now.

11. Eric, when you hugged me the other day and

lovingly moved your hands up & down my spine, I felt so
turned on that just controlling my temptations was a
struggle. Being held by you gives me the greatest feeling
in the world.

12. Omg! Ive been thinking about you all night!

I am really starting to lose my sanity. Can you please
leave my mind for a minute? Why are you so sexy? Okay,
I should stop there.

13. I think I am starting to get addicted to you,

your kisses, your hugs! Okay, I should stop there!

14. The other day when you were angry! It

really turned me onOkay, thats weird, I should stop
before it gets crazy!

15. I dont think there is anything hotter than

looking at your face when your intense, it really pleases
me in ways I cant describe.

16. I never told you this, but the other day,

seeing you in that fancy suit truly turned me on. Okay, I

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better stop. Ive got things to do today, cant let that
image of you drive me crazy again.

17. Can you please stop looking at me with such

intensity? Its starting to turn me on in weird ways. Stop
distracting me already. See youre doing It againStop
it! Stop looking at me with those intense eyes!

Permanent Obsession Phrases

Him I dont think well get along.

You I was thinking the same thing actually! I mean you

and I are so different. It would be weird if were a couple.
I mean I am clearly a little hard to handle for you. Were
much better of beings friends.

First date situations

Him (When he tries to kiss too early).

You Okay! Slow down tiger, lets take this one step at
a time (And then offer your cheek for the kiss).

Him So do you like me?

You Well, you seem like a safe enough guy so far. But
a part of me doesnt trust you yet!

Him (If he gets a little nervous).

You Its okay! Its cute when a guy gets nervous

around me.

Him You are pretty!

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You Thank you, just dont think anything naughty yet.

Him Were better off being friends.

You I know, I would drive you totally crazy if we were

to be a couple. That would be weird anyway.

Him I know you like me.

You Yeah I like you, youre cute but a little annoying.

Him Im not too sure this is working out.

You Its okay, you dont need to pretend. I totally saw

you checking me out multiple times.

After the date, here are some phrases you can text him

It was a great night; It was cute to see you sneakily

checking me out.

You are a nice guy, I like you and it was cute how you
kept staring at me as I finished my food.

You were so nice today, lets hope you maintain this in

the future.
You hugged me like a baby hugs his mother! It was cute.
Id like to see you again.

I know you had a lot of funThis must have been one of

the best dates youve ever had. I hope you dont stalk me
after this.

If he is arguing with you and highly angry, say the following

Did someone tell you how cute you look when youre
angry. Your little nose goes all red.

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I dont mind your anger as long as I get to see this hot
intensity on your face. Its so damn sexy!

If he is lecturing you, say the following

Its so cute & hot when you lecture me like that!

If he wants to be left alone, say the following

Okay! Please have all the time you want. Either way, I
know how crazy youre about me and wont be able to
keep your hands away from me for too long.

Look! No need to play any games with me, I know you

already want me. Why dont you just ask me out
already?

I like a man who challenges me, but I can already see

how badly you want me.

Oh so youre going to play hard to get? Nice! I like a

man who puts an effort into wining me over.

So do you always play hard to get? I know you have a

cute side to you which is hiding somewhere.

Monogamy Awakener Phrases

If hes afraid that you might lock him down, try something like -

Sweetheart, I know youre concerned and weve already

discussed this before. I know you love your you time,
and I want you to know I love you, too. Im not about
tying you down and spending every minute with you. I
understand that each of us would want to have the
freedom in our lives to continue our own interests apart
from each other sometimes. Thats healthy for you and
for me, and I wouldnt want it any other way.

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I believe in having a life of our own outside of the
relationship. Just because were together doesnt mean
we should do everything together. I would love it if you
spend some free time with your buddies and do things on
your own.

Honey! I don't believe that a man is responsible for

providing everything. I just want you to know that,
whether its financially or otherwise, we would be in this
together, and that it takes two to tango.

I am not the kind of a woman who believes in locking

her men down. I expect you to have a life of your own
outside of our relationship.

I know that a lot of guys are worried about commitment

making their life less exciting, but trust me, I am all
about keeping things as fun as possible. I want life with
you to be an adventure.

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