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151
crashing tide of self within the skin (1998: 25) and Stephanie Grants
(1995) and Kathryn Harrisons (1997) striking accounts of embodiment
through emaciation belie feminist explanations of anorexia as a disembod-
ied effect of Cartesian dualism (Chernin, 1981: 55), as a mere poisoned
product of overconsumption of media images (Wolf, 1990), or as a surface
site/sight of myriad discourses convergence (Bordo, 1993; Malson, 1998).
In this article, then, I bring to feminist theories of anorexia Jay Prossers
question: At what point do our experiences of our bodies resist or fragment
our theoretical generalizations, reveal them as displacements of experi-
ence, and demand from them new formulations? (1998: 96).
Beginning from a sense of the anorexic embodied self as occluded, I turn
first to deployments of anorexia in feminist cultural theories and feminist
philosophies of the body, asking after the epistemological assumptions that
seem to write out the anorexic self. Central to these perspectives is a prob-
lematic derived from a predominantly Foucauldian and/or Lacanian
legacy: the persistent location of the imaginary anatomy in the visual
register alone. This ocularcentrism1 in feminist theories of the body, I argue,
is both what limits more generative or authorial understandings of anorexia
and that which anorexia exposes as limited. In my initial and speculative
attempt to re-embody the anorexic subject, I am drawn to Judith Butlers
(1990, 1997) theorization of gender as loss because, in her deft interweav-
ing of the discursive, the psychic and the material, she problematizes an
inside/outside topography of the subject, challenging a metaphysical oppo-
sition between discourse and the body, representation and materiality. But
thinking anorexia through this Butlerian paradigm reveals a stark privi-
leging of the bodys visualized surface which pushes the anorexic body-as-
felt out of sight. In a renewed attempt to locate an epistemology that might
sustain the realm of the experiential in anorexic subjectivity, I find inspi-
ration in Prossers (1998) analysis of transsexual body narratives. Follow-
ing Prosser, I suggest that tracing anorexic feeling-through-the-body in
narrative accounts of bodily becoming offers a starting point for bringing
the experiential back into theory and, in the process, troubling predomi-
nant feminist and queer theories derogatory deployment of certain bodies
as queers/subversions constitutive outside.2
anorexia can, like the phantom limb, be a kind of mourning for a pre-
Oedipal (i.e., precastrated) body and a corporeal connection to the mother
that women in patriarchy are required to abandon (1994: 40). If sexual
difference is where the bodys materiality is most displaced, it is not clear
why all women are not anorexic. It is the Lacanian context of Groszs asser-
tion that the anorexic may risk her very life in the attainment of a body
image approximating her ideal which undercuts her own refusal of
anorexia as a renunciation of patriarchal ideals of slenderness (1994:
40). Her preceding theoretical trajectory through Freuds bodily ego and
Anzieus skin ego slips into temporary abeyance, occluding the possi-
bility that the body image for which the anorexic strives might be derived
from the sensations of her body rather than from an alienating represen-
tation of the body.
Gail Weiss at first seems to offer a more embodied account of anorexia.
She reverses the pathologizing logic that posits anorexia as body image
distortion in opposition to some imagined coherent norm, suggesting that,
because becoming a subject is conditional upon the self-alienation and self-
repudiation involved in abjection, normalized body images can only occur
on the basis of bodily distortions (Weiss, 1999: 957). What makes anorexia
different, then, is not contradictory body images (which we all share), but
an excessive coherence of body image or a driving fixation with one body
image at the expense of all others (1999: 99). However, while Weiss states
her sensitivity to the lived, bodily dimensions of anorexia (1999: 99) (in
line with her broader framework derived from Merleau-Pontys notion of
embodiment as intercorporeality), she returns to Lacan at the culmination
of her argument about anorexic body images as too coherent to pathologize
that very coherence. Following Lacan, she suggests that:
the Gestalt that arises out of the identification of the subject with the specular
image, attains its coherence at the expense of our lived corporeality. . . . For the
nonpathological subject, . . . it is the very multiplicity of these body images which
guarantees that we cannot invest too heavily in any one of them, and these
multiple body images themselves offer points of resistance to the development of
too strong an identification with a singularly alienating specular (or even cultural)
image. (1999: 100)
of the imaginary and not, as Butler would have it, the imaginariness of
material reality (1998: 44). It is the imaginary anatomy with which the
bodily ego is identified, and the imaginary anatomy that motivates the
transformation of the flesh (1998: 6970).
Refusing a sense of body image in which image is privileged at the
expense of body (1998: 79), Prosser follows Didier Anzieus non-Lacanian
trajectory to Freud (1998: 65). Anzieu disputes Lacans idea of the uncon-
scious as structured like a language (cited in Prosser, 1998: 66) and, in The
Skin Ego (1989), Anzieu develops Freuds model of the bodily ego in
which, as Prosser explains, the ego
derives not so much from the perception of the body (an external perception),
that is, from what can be seen, but from the bodily sensations that stem from its
touching touching here in both an active and passive sense (an internal
perception). (Prosser, 1998: 43 quoting Freud; emphasis in original)
Phantomization/fantasization
The epigraphs at the start of this article clearly show the de-feminized body
as disburdened. The flesh stripped away is precisely female. Sexual matu-
ration was terrifying to me, Marya Hornbacher recalls: It was as if people
could see, just by the very presence of my breasts, that I was bad and sexual
and needy. I shrank back from my body as if it were going to devour me
(Hornbacher, 1998: 53; emphasis in original). For Claire Beeken, sexually
abused by her grandfather from the age of nine, puberty brought to a terrible
culmination the sense of her body as not her own: I hate my boobs because
he likes to touch them, and my periods because they excite him. My body
feels infected and dirty, and when I catch sight of myself in the mirror, I am
disgusted by it (Beeken, 2000: 26). The refusal of the anorexic body ego to
own the female body results in a de-sexing of the body in which the contours
of the skin are realigned with the anorexics de-gendered body imaginary.
The body becomes asexualized, disowned so that the alternatively gendered
imaginary can survive. So the anorexic becomes embodied as she starves off
the flesh through which her body is experienced and read as feminine and
sexual. While taking a very different trajectory from transsexuality, anorexia
corroborates Prossers argument about transsexuality as supporting the
material reality of the imaginary and not, as Butler would have it, the imag-
inariness of material reality (1998: 44).
Note that the mirror phase of this fantasization is after the event of
materialization: confirmation of rather than motivation for transformation.
The materialization of the androgynous phantom body is often expressed
as a return to a childs body. My periods have stopped!, Aimee Liu
exclaims: I dont suppose the reprieve will last forever, but for the moment
it delights me. And the more weight I lose, the flatter I become. Its wonder-
ful, like crawling back into the body of a child (Liu, 1979: 41). Symbolic
of a pre-feminized or even prior masculine body, the figure of the childs
body completes the narrative transition, recuperating and reintegrating the
loss inaugurated by the bodys traumatic feminization. So the expression
of the body-becoming in terms of a return to a prior body is not a literal
re-membering, but a nostalgia for the purified version of what was, not
. . . [a] return to home per se (nostos) but to the romanticized ideal of home
(Prosser, 1998: 84). The anorexics transition is not, then, a pathological
reversal or arrest of psychosexual and physical development, as is so often
assumed by psychiatrists (for example, Bruch, 1988: 122), nor is it the
literalization of a return to a Lacanian imaginary of unity with mat(t)er
(Grosz, 1994: 40). Anorexia, Hornbacher clarifies, is not a scramble to get
back into the nest. Its a flying leap out (1998: 68; emphasis in original).
Agnosia/melancholia
In transsexual agnosia, the lost body is the wrong body, the pretransi-
tional insentient skin that sex-reassignment realigns with the sentient body
image or nostalgic body lost. In anorexia also, the pretransitional femi-
nized flesh is lost through being refused a place in the body imaginary,
and the emaciated body is recounted as the recuperation of a romanticized
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body lost. In what follows, I want to develop a sense of the anorexic body
as the embodied culmination of both these losses, that is, as the melan-
cholic expression of an ungrievable loss (a body lost) which both re-lives
and relieves the unlivability of the agnosic lost body. In this, I take Butlers
theory of melancholia in a different direction to her project, reshaping it
through the skin ego theoretical framework so as to open up a space for a
non-queer challenge to the delimitation of sex-gender-sexuality.
Unlike the process of mourning inaugurated by the death of a loved one
in which the ego is able to relinquish attachment to the lost object to come
to terms with the loss because of its conscious and definable nature,
melancholia speaks of a different kind of mourning in which the subject
does not know for what s/he is grieving and is therefore unable to sever
attachments to the lost object (Takemoto, 2001: 115). For Freud, Takemoto
usefully summarizes: melancholia is characterized by a conflict of ambiva-
lence that is either constitutional to the relationship between subject and
object or related to the threat of losing the object (2001: 116). This love/rage
ambivalence, because it cannot be consciously acknowledged, becomes
incorporated by the ego and emerges in acts of self-punishment, both in the
form of ruthless self-reproaches and as physical self-harm (2001: 11617).
While Takemoto is primarily concerned with self-inflicted wounds as the
somatic rerouting of unconscious ambivalence in relation to the anticipated
loss of an ill friend, I am more concerned here with the psychic and somatic
absorption in anorexia of a conflict of ambivalence constitutional to a
relationship. Following Butler, I want to suggest that this conflict of ambiva-
lence that characterizes melancholia may be inaugurated through the prohi-
bitions of a social ideal as much as it may be the product of a relationship
with an actual loved one (Butler, 1997: 1815). Anorexia, then, may be the
melancholic expression of loss inaugurated through the social compulsion
to be a given gender or, to borrow from Butler, the embodiment of an
ungrieved loss which reiterates a gendered idealization and its radical unin-
habitability (1997: 145). Since gender-as-myth conceals the process through
which it came to interpret sexual difference, we cannot know ourselves
outside its terms. The self-directed violence of anorexia may be the refrac-
tion of anger intended for the social ideal of gender, but which cannot be
acknowledged as such. Where the anorexics traumatic experience of
herself as gendered is sharpened exponentially through abuse, the psychi-
cally/somatically rerouted anger is ever more violent. Such an understand-
ing of anorexia as a psychic/somatic bearing of the melancholic trauma of
gender resonates powerfully with experiential accounts in terms of an
internal voice berating the self (see, for example, Paterson, 2000: 51), with
the assault on the flesh itself, and with the ritualistic, repetitive behaviour
of the sufferer. Quoting Cathy Caruth, Takemoto suggests that trauma speaks
of an event that is experienced too soon, too unexpectedly, to be fully
known and is therefore not available to consciousness until it imposes itself
again, repeatedly, in the nightmares and repetitive actions of the survivor
(Caruth, 1996: 4, cited in Takemoto, 2001: 119).
Here I want to return to reconnect the narratives of body and text. Freud,
as Takemoto points out, returned to reassociate melancholia with mourning
in that both . . . are driven by the need to progress from the stage of identifi-
cation with loss to that of detachment and exclusion (2001: 117). Melan-
cholia, like mourning, is a healing process that only appears pathological
because the process of grief . . . takes a detour through the body (2001: 117;
emphasis added). Paradoxically, Takemoto suggests, it is through the
active debasement of the ego (enabled by the ability to objectify loss and
then to act against it) that the subject eventually breaks free from loss
(2001: 117), so the injurious acts of melancholia are a necessary form of
detachment through which an unknown loss becomes known (2001: 119).
It is only after loss has been inscribed on the surface of the body that the
subject can overcome it (2001: 117). The anorexic body, therefore, far from
pathological or disembodied, testifies to an acting out of genders unliv-
ability precisely in order to go on living. If we arrive at a sense of self a
skin ego through the bodily sensations stemming from the surface of the
body, then it may be that self-inflicted pain serves a restorative purpose in
allowing us to reknow and reown our bodily selves (Prosser, 1998: 40, 74).
If . . . self-harm is read as a testimony to the will to survive pain and
trauma, Jane Kilby suggests, it can be understood as a means of marking
the difference between dying in life and death in all its finality . . . a
momentary means of living beyond the deadening touch of trauma (Kilby,
2001: 127). Since melancholic losses cannot be dealt with as fully as those
in mourning, melancholic grieving is rarely overcome: for many anorex-
ics, the conflict of ambivalence over the object/ideal is so overwhelming
that the ego will destroy itself in the attempt to detach from it (Takemoto,
2001: 117). The need to tell ones story, then, testifies both to traumas
endless impact on a life (Caruth, 1996: 7, cited in Takemoto, 2001: 119)
and the function of narrative in furthering the healing process of grief as
an expression of loss (literally onto the page).
Anorexic auto/biographies often construct anorexia as both effect of and
solution to trauma. Narrating is therefore profoundly ambivalent, enacting
both a painful re-counting of past horrors and enabling a translation of
trauma into language in which the bodily transition can be recuperated,
made sense of. As a means of making connections, narrative enables the
transition itself (Prosser, 1998: 9). Making sense of her anorexia within a
narrative of appalling abuse by her father from the age of three, Helen
expresses both the (twofold) loss of another life that might have been I
now wish I had never been born a girl (Helen, 1997: 102) and the loss
incurred through the profound inadequacy of translating pain and emotion
into words: It is very difficult to put down on paper (1997: 102). But this
very expression of loss erupting onto the surface of the page, paralleling
and re-enacting the (de)fleshy eruption of the anorexic body imaginary
through the skin, actually surpasses and transmutes its terms. Grief, fore-
closed in anorexia due to the radical unspeakability of trauma No one
knew that he was abusing me . . . I just couldnt bring myself to say it (1997:
103) becomes avowable through the telling. The ungrievability of trau-
matic melancholia is translated through the anorexic body narrative into
mourning, a state in which both past events and self can be recognized and
in which a further transition becomes possible.
When you first fall ill you dont really know what is happening to you or why it
is happening. Looking back on it now I am certain that, to an extent, I was trying
to get rid of my feminine characteristics. By reducing my body size I hoped I
would no longer be seen as a sexual object that could be used and abused. Losing
weight made me look more asexual, more boyish. (1997: 102)
Notes
1. Following Prosser (1998), I use the term ocularcentric rather than, say,
scopic or specular in order to convey two senses in which sight
dominates thinking about anorexia; first, that anorexic bodies are judged
through the others gaze and, second, that anorexia is assumed to be
induced either through overexposure to the wrong kind of representations
(anorexia as a narcissistic image-reading disorder) or through the
introjection of a visualized image of the body (Lacanian interpretations).
2. My thanks to Clare Hemmings and two anonymous referees for their
References
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