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Alana Walker

Dr. Barker

English 1102

December 5, 2017

Survivors Guilt

The Vietnam War was one of Americas worst wars to date. Due to a military draft, many

men were forced to fight a war they did not agree with. This, along with new advances in

military technology, led Vietnam veterans to have exceedingly high levels of Post-Traumatic

Stress Disorder (PTSD). This condition is prominent in most combat veterans; however, it was

not researched in depth until after the Vietnam War. Yusef Komunyakaa explores such trauma in

his poems such as At the Screen Door and Please. In both of these works, the speakers tell

stories, heavy with symbolism, about their own survivors guilt, moments of PTSD, and longing

for atonement for their mistakes.

The poem At the Screen Door has a dominate theme of survivors guilt. The poems

setting and plot is someone walking to a house to tell the person inside their loved one has

recently died in war. This information can be inferred by the reader in the poems title. The start

of the poem is laden with symbolism of new beginnings and clarity. The speaker says, Just

before the sunlight / Burns off the morning fog (lines 1-2). The first line expresses imagery that

illustrates dawn, which symbolizes one becoming a new creature, while the second line utilizes

eerie imagery to parallel the brightness before it. This symbolizes the clouded mental state the

speaker is in walking to the house, and how he hopes the experience he undergoes inside will

give him mental clarity. Above all, the speaker longs to be able to forgive himself for what he
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has done. The first two lines are also ended by a period, though they are not a complete thought.

This syntax is utilized to mirror the thinking patterns of the speaker and give the audience a look

at the speakers state of well-being. The shortness and quickness of the sentence reflects the fast

paced thinking patterns of the speaker because it simulates one being out of breath. Also, the

attention to detail in the first two lines show how the speaker is not ready to deal with his

problem and how he is distracting himself with petty observations.

After the first two lines of the poem, the audience is introduced to a character known as

she (line 3). The audience is never told the exact identity of she, but it can be inferred that

she is a loved one, most likely a mother or wife, of someone who has died at war. The poem

says, Is it her, will she know / What Ive seen & done (3-4). This implies the speaker has

committed a sin hidden from the outside world, and the burden of that sin is weighing on the

speakers mind. The speaker hopes the woman behind the screen door can see through him and

he does not need to use a faade with her. This is symbolism of a higher being to signify the

theme of survivors guilt and being forgiven of ones wrong doings. The speaker longs for

someone to understand his feelings and forgive him, so that he can forgive himself. The poem

then says, How my boots leave little grave-stone / shapes in the wet dirt (5-6). These lines

show the crimes the speaker has committed. In his mind, he has left a mark of death on the

world, and such a mark will be his final legacy. The diction of the lines show how the speaker

views himself as nothing except a soldier, and such status is the speakers ultimate defining

factor. He no longer sees the military as an occupation or duty, but as a character trait. This is

pressing on the speaker because he blames himself for so much death and despair. The poem

goes on to describe the speakers state of being as, Im no longer light / On my feet, theres a

rock / In my belly? It weighs / As much as the story (7-10). This shows how the speakers
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experiences are making him grow old and tired of life. It highlights the existential mood of the

speaker.

The name Paul has a very important symbolic meaning in the poem. The speaker says,

As much as the story / Paul told me, moving ahead / Like it knows my heart (lines 10-12). In

the poem, Paul is the man who died at war. It can be implied later in the poem that the speaker

was some way involved with Pauls death (15-20). The name has an ambiguous meaning in the

text because it is also a symbol of spiritual purging. In the Bible, Paul claims to be the chief of

sinners, but he was saved by the grace of God. In the text, the speaker is saying the sins he has

committed are too great, but he is subconsciously searching for forgiveness regardless. This

feeds into the theme of survivors guilt because it shows the magnitude of remorse the speaker

possesses. It shows that the speaker has not forgiven himself; therefore, he firmly believes he can

never be forgiven by other people or a higher deity.

The poem Please also depicts aspects of survivors guilt and living in a world of self-

loathing, while also introducing the motif of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The format of the

poem is its most distinct feature because the words on the page are organized to look like a

heartbeat. This represents the life in the words on the page, which is done to remind the reader

the poem is more than just a piece of art, and the experiences described on the page are everyday

occurrences for many veterans. The poems opening line is, Forgive me, soldier. This single

sentence sets the theme of the entire poem. The speaker is begging for forgiveness for something

he did not do. The speaker feels as though he is responsible for the death of one of his fellow

soldiers; however, this is false because the speaker and the fallen soldier were both following

orders. The poem shows the speakers regrets whenever it states, If I could make my mouth /

unsay those orders, / Id holler: Dont / move a muscle (lines 20-23). This implies that the
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orders were fatally carried out by the person the speaker is talking to. The speaker believes the

death is his fault because he gave the orders in the first place. The speaker also believes, with the

information he knows now, he would go back and change the orders into simply saving each

others lives. This mirrors the experiences of war. Many soldiers go in expecting to fight bravely

for their country and follow orders into kill-zones; however, when they leave, all they are able to

remember is fighting for their lives.

The poem is also ridden with war imagery so the reader can share the experiences of

PTSD with the speaker. For example, the speaker says, Forgive my right hand / for pointing you

/ to the flawless / tree line now / outlined in my brain (lines 2-6) in order to put the reader into

the speakers position. The memory of the tree line is etched into the speakers mind as a form of

PTSD. This is a haunting memory that cannot be forgotten. Also, war imagery and diction is

used to break the speakers train of thought. While the speaker is describing an attack, he is

interrupted by himself with Ambush. / Gutsmoke (27-28). This selection of detail is used to

mirror the thinking patterns of the speaker. As soon as the speaker is able to accept his emotions

about the subject, an obstacle is put in his way. The speaker cannot fathom emotions or deal with

the trauma of his past; therefore, he keeps himself distracted in toxic ways. The speaker says,

Ive tried to swallow my tongue (33) to show how PTSD is not a part of his life that he is able

to control. The speaker wants to stop shouting phrases like Hit the dirt (32), and he wants to

stop seeing images stamped with agony; however, the only way the speaker would be able to do

this is to face his traumas on his own.

Unfortunately, the experiences faced by the speakers of At the Screen Door and

Please are not too uncommon among veterans. The poems underline the burden of survivors

guilt in the lives of former soldiers. This guilt is imposed by the trauma of wartime. Oftentimes,
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this type of trauma cannot be properly dealt with because, consistent with aspects of true trauma,

experiences cannot be shared. It is true that no one can fully understand what these veterans went

through overseas; therefore, many of them are left to deal with their experiences in the only way

they know how: with distractions and neglect. With this approach, they will never gain the

forgiveness they so long for.

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Works Cited

Komunyakaa, Yusef. At the Screen Door. Neon Vernacular. Middleton, CT: Wesleyan UP,

1993. 4. Print.

---. Please Neon Vernacular. Middleton, CT: Wesleyan UP, 1993. 133. Print.