PASSAGE

Besides every event is completely new. What a Behind this attempt at orderly noticing do I
MICHAEL SNOW
burst of optimism! Not completely. They certain- have a horror of the possibility of chaos? Would
. . . . I've been trying to give some attention
ly can resemble each other. chaos be an inability to tell one thing from an-
to how "one thing leads to another" or more
I'm not scientific. No "ends," no "goals," no use. other? Is sanity only the ability to identify and
accurately: "the ways in which one action leads
"This vague yearning to codify" is being reacted to name? Cultural? Is ordering the "disorder" an
to another." That isn't much clearer.
to only in the action of noticing "how one thing order? Can there be "order" without repetition?
Apparently certain types of events and in my-
leads to another," I do not have a system, I am Is there something necessarily fatalistic but also
self certain states of mind bring about attention
a system. There won't be any summing up. Per- "religious" in affirming (quoting?) that disorder
with this kind of emphasis. My perception of the
haps there will. These observations are in my must be only a type of order the nature of which
nature of a situation (result of a vague yearning
life with my work. is not yet comprehended ... ? But "the eye of
to codify "how one thing leads to another") if
I've been led to prefer fortuitous personal the beholder" . . . not only is order projected
clear, includes everything. Ha ha. Everything
experience education to searching out "process- but all is order; all. is ordained? The reason for
which I was capable of receiving. I'm often quite
ed" information: books, other people's work in the shape of my nose the same as the reason a
fuzzy or don't care. Also every beginning is ar-
any medium, asking questions of other people. bus just passed this building. Oh, that's going too
bitrary. I have noted in myself the emergence
of the kind of attention I'm describing and called What "whats"! far.
that a "beginning." I'll write more about begin- Further clarification: In literature "one thing Events take time. Events take place.
leads to another," yes, but what we are discuss- Named, scheduled events: bus ride, concert,
nings later.
ing is noticing how "many events lead to many Christmas, eclipse, etc. This is not what I'm in-
Can't trace back this interest, it must be some-
thing to do with being and being an artist. others." terested in. Sub-events: not "what is," not "what
Don't expect to dispel many shadows. Mild In relation to events one can only be a parti- is not," but what happens in between. In this
illuminations. There's no end of mysteries, each cipant or a spectator or both. Of course one can case: "not."
also be uninformed (events of which one is "Passages" then, wherein or post facto or in
solution a problem.
unaware take place constantly, to say the least). anticipation, I may note revelatory unities and
Often, frequently, repeatedly, instead of just
living through a situation, happy, sad, etc., I hear But is that a relationship? Yes. disparities. What's interesting is not codifying
Experience of an event can only be anticipa- but experiencing and understanding the nature
the artist's mind-voice saying: "notice how this
tory, actual, and post facto. Or prophetic, in- of passages from one state to another without
became that? Isn't that like the other? That means
there's a family! Genus. Order. Classification of tentional, guessed, planned or total or historic, acknowledging "beginning" as having any more
events! Sometimes there's not much pleasure in reminiscent, analytical. And in this (lower) case importance in the incident than "importance"
it should be pointed out that I am using your has in this sentence.
it, it's compulsive."
Though I can't make a "mistake," I can words. Or than "ending" in this . . . . . . .
"change my mind." What a phrase!
Am I learning anything? l'·m not learning
much because there's so much to learn and
there's so much to remember, I feel sure I forget
a lot. I often have a kind of wrap-up intuition
of the nature of an event, simultaneously esthetic,
psychological, biological, philosophic, political ...
leaving a vaguer record than simpler experi-
ences . . . and memory be'ing somewhat
ive (who really knows the mechanics of its
choices?) the residue of this recently added
"stuff," when sieved through the records of
previous experience for re(?)examination, often
seems to consist of somewhat familiar particles.
Recollections are (naturally) "stylized" . . . and
. . . perhaps excess memory can spoil while
stored. So in a way I'm pleased that I apparently
have a poor memory. Infantile freshness. What
a strong wind! Reality was and always is a form
oi memory even at the moment of perception of
perception .... But in another way: I just don't
know enough to truly experience. Range of refer-
ences. I can quote that accurate statement
(whose? when? really?) about: "those who . . .
history ... condemned ... repeat .... "
Have you read this essay before? Is it "orig-
inal"?
SWitch. But one of the many reasons why my
observations are mine is that I don't have many
2 63 out-of-my-own-experience facts to deal with.