Statues

and
liberty
Why is
the US still Suzanne Moore
Tourist phobia

fighting the Feeding the 1%

Maitre d’ secrets

civil war? Peter Serafinowicz

What makes him Tick

Thursday 17.08.17
12A
 Shortcuts
Television
Please take
these animals
off our screens
I
t is a woof universally
acknowledged that the UK
is a nation of animal lovers.
Even if this immutable facet of
our otherwise mercurial national
character had not always been the
case, it would probably become
a self-fulfilling prophecy, simply
because every television docu-
mentary about cats, dogs and
other household critters appears
to be legally obliged to include
the phrase: “The UK is a nation
of animal lovers.”
And the pervasive belief that
every British person must love
dogs has made pet-related TV the
safest of safe mass-market options.
Just give the people what they
want – shih tzus and giggles.
How much is too much? We
are being overwhelmed by pet-
related programming. Channel 4
cleared out its 8pm slot every
night last week for Animal Rescue
Live: Supervet Special, a mix of
Springwatch and charity telethons.
The programme was beamed live
from the Newcastle Dog and Cat
Shelter, and presenters Steve
Jones and Kate Quilton and
supervet Noel Fitzpatrick set
themselves the arbitrary but
laudable task of finding homes for
every single beast in the shelter,
as well as showcasing other furry
candidates from across the UK.
Amid the entertaining free-for-
all of making live television with
Sexual health
The Archers – an
everyday story
of fertile folk
T
he Archers has raised
eyebrows with a sexual
health storyline. After an
incident with a fruit picker and a
split condom, Oxford University
student Phoebe Aldridge needed
to visit the Borsetshire STI clinic.
The character has shared her
predicament with listeners in suf-
ficient detail for the episode to
2 The Guardian 17.08.17
Animal madness? Rambo the pig,
Bengal cat River on the back of
Moss the labrador, Aslan the
miniature horse and Alexander
Armstrong with a hen
seem like a sexual health lesson.
Aldridge is 19; the average age of
the Archers listener is 56. How
inappropriate, some say. Others
have intuited that the show is try-
ing to attract a younger audience.
But the storyline can also be
read as a clever sleight of
hand. Sexual health edu-
cation is overwhelmingly y
the preserve of young
people, but the number
of diagnoses of sexually
transmitted diseases in
people aged between 50 and
70 rose by a third over the past
decade, and, according to Pub-
lic Health England, there were
30,000 new STI diagnoses in the
animals, the message remained
impressively consistent: if you’re
thinking of buying a pet, consider
a rescue animal first. There were
tears, cheers and a rascally goat
called Houdini.
While all for a good cause,
Animal Rescue Live ended up
going muzzle-to-muzzle
uzzle with
the rest of the UK’s pet
shows, which gravitate
tate
towards that 8pm slot.
lot.
Tuesdays means The he Dog
Rescuers with Alan
Davies, now in its fifth
season. While the
stories can be heart--
breaking – with
RSPCA inspectors
investigating
reports of animal
over-45s last year. This is a demo-
graphic that is not easily reached
with a letter from the headmaster
or a charity information leaflet
(although the Family Planning
Association has produced one).
The storyline is good news,
says Dr Wayne Cottrell, who
has a sexual health clinic
in London. Because
Phoeb
Aldrid e
(Lucy ge
had to Morris)
vis
STI cl it an
inic
cruelty – you can usually rely on
at least one funny moment when
Davies hunkers down among an
excitable pack of hounds and
momentarily disappears, his hair
the perfect camouflage.
Tonight is the last in the
current run of 10 Puppies and Us,
a BBC2 documentary series that
shadows new owners with newer
pooches for their first six months
together: this involves a lot of
toilet accidents and slobbered-on
furniture.
It might be teeth-meltingly
twee at times but 10 Puppies
and Us is still far more bearable
than the current nadir of pet
programmes, Teach My Pet to
Do That. Even with the affable
Alexander Armstrong in charge,
ITV’s new Friday night show is
a joyless drag, nothing more than
a craven attempt to reverse-engi-
neer the popularity of YouTube
videos of pets doing unexpected
things by rounding up animals –
dogs, cats, the occasional New
Zealand Kunekune pig – and, with
their owners on the sidelines,
brainwashing them into doing
pointless parlour tricks.
A fortnight ago, I callously
suggested that this dog of a show
deserved to be put down. After a
week of AAnimal Rescue Live,
I could n
never wish that fate
on anything.
anyth But maybe
Austin the
th miniature horse
could be conditioned to
retrieve
retri a remote con-
trol
tr and change chan-
nel
n when he hears
the Teach My Pet to
Do That theme
tune. A sugar cube
well-earned.
Graeme Virtue
“reaching the over-50s is dif-
ficult ... They tend to come from
a generation where these things
weren’t discussed.”
Combine this reticence with the
rise in the marriage and divorce
rates for the over-65s and the
change in dating patterns, and
it is easy to see why The Archers
scriptwriters might feel they have
found fruitful territory. “Anyone
who thinks STIs are limited to
young people is deluded,” says
Laura Waters, a trustee of Ter-
rence Higgins Trust. “You don’t
get people over 50 with genital
warts standing up and saying the
service should be better.”
Paula Cocozza

Cities
Is ‘liveable’ just
another word for
safe and clean?
A
ttention those who have
been merely existing in
large metropolises: the
Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU)
is back with its global liveability
survey for 2017.
Melbourne, Vienna and Van-
couver (first, second and third
respectively) are unchanged from
last year. In fact, the top 10 mainly
comprises polite Antipodean
cities such as Perth, Adelaide and
Auckland, and those inside cuddly,
US-lite Canada (Toronto, Calgary).
Helsinki is in ninth place, but
London didn’t make it into the
top 50. Of course, you can poke
holes in pretty much any top 50
from Greatest Albums to Best
Bonds, but there is something
instructive and vaguely dispirit-
PHOTOGRAPHS AFP/NATURE/GABRIEL LIO; © PLIMSOLL PRODUCTIONS
ing in how the EIU arrives at its
safe, clean version of “best”.
The Economist’s clientele are
exactly the people David Goodhart
characterised as the “Anywheres”
in The Road To Somewhere, his
take on the populist revolt that
gave us Brexit, Trump and global
politics’ present weirdness. Unlike
the more geographically immobile
COVER PHOTOGRAPH PHILIP WEISS/AP
“Somewheres”, they are highly
educated, highly mobile cosmo-
politan globalists, of the kind
deposited by huge corporations in
Delft or Delaware to run a bureau
or consult on a project.
They want to plug-in-’n’-play.
The Anywheres like a city with
cycle lanes, botanic gardens and
a remodelled waterfront quarter
with a tranche of restaurants
serving “small plates”. They are
looking for “culture” as defined by
well-endowed arts grants.
The EIU is hamstrung by its own
metrics: it uses five categories –
stability, healthcare, culture and
environment, education and
infrastructure – to mark 140 cities
out of a score of 100. I would be
interested to see what happened
if you took “healthcare” out and
inserted the category, “likelihood
of ending up on a roof terrace at
3am smegged out of your baggle-
box on carton wine while some
joker tries to put Despacito on
a portable speaker”.
Few will dispute the civil war
strife that lands Tripoli and
Damascus at the bottom of the
table. But there is clearly a middle
ground here when some of the
great cities – Rio, Cape Town,
Hong Kong, even New York
and London – struggle to make
an impression on the list.
The proof is that the
highest-ranked British city,
Manchester, fell eight places
to 51 because of the Manches-
ter Arena bombing. Yet
anyone who has spent time
there knows that nothing
makes the place feel more
habitable than community in
the face of adversity.
Sadly, it is a demotic
neighbourliness of the
Somewheres that the
Anywheres, locked
behind security doors
in the luxury condos
built to replace the Haci-
enda, will never know.
Gavin Haynes
in the
n t o i s No 4 ities.
Toro iveable c
l No 1
list of e, above, is
urn
Melbo
Pass notes
No 3,907
Chilesaurus diegosuarezi
TRUE BELIEVER
Nickname: The Frankenstein dinosaur.
Age: 145m years (approximately).
Appearance: Legs like a Brontosaurus, hips of a
Stegosaurus, and arms and body like a T rex.
I presume this is the next franchise from
the people who brought us Sharknado? No,
it’s a mashup dinosaur that has been baffling
palaeontologists. Fossils of the Chilesaurus
Country music
were first discovered in 2004 by seven-year-old
legend Dolly Parton
has announced Chilean Diego Suárez (hence the name). Four
her first album years later, bones of what seemed to be different
aimed at children. species were found in the same spot.
Called I Believe In So they just boshed them all together and
You, it comes with created a monster? Not quite, but it did take until
magical cover art 2015 to work out that this was one creature with
featuring the singer
features from some of our best-known dinosaurs.
as a rhinestone fairy
complete with wings, Is it related to the T rex and pals, then? Well, that
chiffon and glitter. was the thing. The Chilesaurus didn’t seem to fit
The album is out into any existing theory of dino evolution.
on 29 September. But now someone has Who Do You Think You
Workin’ ages 9 to 5. Are-d it? They have. And … rather than being
a weird dino cut’n’shut, the Chilesaurus may
actually be a missing link in the story of how
dinosaurs evolved.
I’m just about with you. The ornithischian dino-
saurs – your Triceratops, your Stegosaurus – have
hips similar to birds. They were always thought to
be completely different from meat-eaters such as
the T Rex. Chilesaurus connects the two.
According to who, John Hammond? According
to Biology Letters, a Royal Society journal.
Co-author Matthew Baron has been busy reorder-
ing the dino family tree. He told the BBC: “In the
130 years since the ornithischian group was first
recognised, we have never had any concept of
how the first ones could have looked until now.”
Does this mean I have to tear up everything I
know about dinosaurs? Don’t destroy that fag
packet just yet. Baron’s theory has its doubters.
These scientists can’t agree on anything! What
did they say? Bet it was brutal. “The proposed
new family tree has a lot of statistical support,”
co-author David Norman told the New York
Times. “That doesn’t mean it’s right, just that it’s
the best we can do with the data we’ve got.”
Oof. Well, those palaeontologists certainly know
how to cut to the bone.
Do say: “We’ve found the missing link between
Jurassic Park and The Lost World.”
Don’t say: “Imagine the bite on the
Uruguaysaurus Luissuarezi.”
17.08.17 The Guardian 3
 A
house
divided

Confederate statues have become a crucible of racial tension in the US. White
nationalists claim they are important monuments, while others say they are just
a way to rewrite an ugly history and refight the civil war. Jason Wilson reports
4 The Guardian 17.08.17
 I
Clashes in n St Paul’s memorial church in
Charlottesville, Charlottesville last Friday, just
Virginia, up the street from where white
between white supremacists were gathering
supremacists for a torchlight rally, Cornel
and counter- West explained why African Americans
protesters (main, saw the removal of Confederate monu-
right); a statue of ments as so important. On hearing
Robert E Lee is that hundreds of white supremacists
removed in New were gathered in a nearby park, the
Orleans (left) civil rights leader said, with a hint of
weariness: “These are chickens coming
home to roost. We should have elimi-
nated these statues a long time ago.
“The idea that the American family
has to embrace figures like [Confed-
erate general] Robert E Lee, or Stone-
wall Jackson, who were committed to
enslaving black people in perpetuity …
These people are not heroes.”
But Lee and Jackson are heroes to
some. Their admirers include Donald
Trump. In a rowdy press conference
on Tuesday, he compared them to
celebrated figures in US history such
as presidents George Washington and
Thomas Jefferson. Their admirers also
include the white nationalist move-
ment, which is currently surging in the
US. The footsoldiers of that movement
terrorised Charlottesville last weekend.
Trump downplayed their violent
excesses, saying they were merely
“there to protest the taking down the
statue of Robert E Lee”.
The day after the torchlight parade,
a rally featuring hundreds of mostly
young men in various states of para-
military attire shut down the city.
Hours later, one of their number alleg-
edly murdered a counter-protester
with his car. The next day, a planned
memorial to the murdered young
woman was cancelled after “credible
threats” from white nationalists.
The stated purpose of the nation-
alists in coming to the city for the
Unite the Right rally was to contest
the removal of a statue of Lee from
a downtown park. In the blizzard of
online agitprop that so-called “alt-
right” groups circulated before the
event, the claim was often made that,
in rallying around the statue, they were
protecting “white heritage”.
But how did monuments to the losing
side in America’s civil war become such
an intense focus for a national white
supremacist movement? And what is
the heritage they really represent?
Charlottesville’s statue of Lee is one
of about 1,500 such monuments to the
Confederacy scattered throughout the
US. Mostly, though not exclusively,
those statues can be found in those
southern states that broke from the
union in 1861 over their desire to retain
slavery. In 1865, after the loss of more
than 600,000 lives and the destruction
of entire cities, such as Atlanta, the
southern Confederacy was defeated,
and slavery was abolished.
But like most of the other monu-
ments to the Confederacy’s “lost
cause”, the statue in Charlottes-
PHOTOGRAPHS BARCROFT; AP; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
Most monuments
to the Confederacy
were not built until
50 years after the
end of the civil war
ville was not built in the immediate
aftermath of that war. Rather, it
was commissioned more than half
a century later in 1917, and erected
in 1924. It was part of a wave of
statue-building in the south that took
place between the late 1890s and
1920, according to research from the
Southern Poverty Law Center.
There was another flurry of
statue-building in the 50s, and around
this time the Confederate battle flag
became popular. In that decade and
the next, some southern states, such
as Florida, changed their flags to
more closely resemble the standard of
southern defeat.
According to Joseph Lowndes,
a political scientist at the University of
Oregon and author of two books on the
US’s racial politics and the south, the
timing was not accidental. “The statues
go up in moments of racial reaction.”
The earlier craze was the moment
when, Lowndes says: “The Jim Crow
order was really being built in the
south.” So-called Jim Crow laws
formally segregated public schools,
public transport and public spaces,
generally in former Confederate states.
Laws mandated that black people and
white people use separate restaurants,
toilets and drinking fountains.
According to Lowndes, the Jim Crow
phenomenon was a reaction to the
inroads made by the populist move-
ment, which had fleetingly created
political alliances of poor blacks and
whites against the rich southern
planter class. Lowndes says that
southern elites sought to “take blacks
out of the electorate and segregate
public space” in order to “redivide the
black and white core” of the south’s
working class and small farmers. The
monuments were also elements of
this divide-and-rule strategy. They
were ultimately built for a white audi-
ence, as “elements of a culture that
directed whites towards beliefs that
aligned them with the planters”, says
Lowndes. “It was a political project.
Any political project requires symbols,
and imagery.”
One of the core beliefs at the heart of
the Jim Crow project – and which these
laws sought to implant – was that the
civil war had not been an ignominious
defeat, but a noble struggle. Leonard
Zeskind, author of Blood and Politics,
a history of white nationalism in the
US, says the purpose of the hundreds
of statues erected around the turn of
the century was “to rewrite who won
the war”, in order to justify Jim Crow.
Lowndes says it was in part an effort
to “whitewash the civil war, and the
reasons it was fought”. Eventually, Jim
Crow was dealt a blow by the supreme
court’s 1954 finding, in Brown v Board
of Education, that segregation in public
schools was unconstitutional. From
this time, a black-led civil rights move-
ment fought to extend the implications
of this decision into the full desegrega-
tion of the south, and carried the fight
into other areas, such as voting rights.
But many whites in the south, and
their state and local governments,
fought tooth and nail to preserve
segregation. They were, in effect,
fighting the civil war all over again. In
Virginia, a strategy of “massive resist-
ance” devised by Senator Harry F Byrd
Sr resulted in integrated schools being
closed, including in Charlottesville.
It was during this white resistance
to civil rights that Confederate symbols
and statues once again became popular,
and were adopted as signifiers of the
resilience of white supremacy. And it
was during this time that there was
another surge in the number of statues
erected throughout the southern states.
Lowndes says: “They are presented
as being part of a continuous heritage,
but the idea that these symbols have
anything to do with anything but racial
reaction is wrong.”
Not everyone agrees with this
assessment – in particular, contempo-
rary white Americans. According to the
American Values Survey by nonprofit
polling organisation PRRI, around
seven in 10 working-class whites
believe that the flag is a symbol of
“southern pride” rather than “racism”.
It says 60% of whites of all classes feel
this way, as do 51% of Americans as a
whole. However, 80% of black Ameri-
cans say it is a racist symbol, and it is
African Americans fighting for racial
justice who have been the foremost
critics of Confederate symbols since
they were erected.
The African American intellectual
WEB DuBois wrote in 1931 of the gran-
diose inscriptions on recently erected
monuments to the Confederacy that:
“The plain truth of the matter would
be an inscription something like this:
‘Sacred to the memory of those
who fought to Perpetuate Human →
17.08.17 The Guardian 5
 ← Slavery.’” Later, Zeskind says:
“The memorials started to get
questioned in the 1960s in the fight
against Jim Crow, and it’s been going
ever since.”
Since the 2015 massacre of nine
African-American churchgoers by
Dylann Roof in Charleston, South
Carolina, there has been a renewed
focus from racial justice advocates,
including the Black Lives Matter (BLM)
movement, on the persistence of
Confederate monuments and symbols
in southern cities. In the wake of the
Charleston murders, South Carolina’s
governor ordered the removal of the
Confederate flag from the grounds of
the state house in Columbia. But racial
justice advocates want to remove all
Confederate relics from southern cities.
In Charlottesville last Friday, local
BLM chapter member Lisa Woolfork
explained that for her and her fellow
activists, “these statues themselves are
revisionist histories. They hide history.
They tell a story from the 1920s of the
‘lost cause’. It’s a way of making the
slave-holding south feel like they won.”
But while critics of the statues have
been mobilising, white nationalists have
been turning the statues into rallying
points for resistance to multicultur-
alism, feminism and minority rights.
Lowndes says: “These were largely
regional sites as late as the 1990s,” of
interest mostly to southern heritage
groups, but also to more extremist
“neoconfederate” groups, such as the
Council of Conservative Citizens, and
the League of the South. (Neoconfed-
erates generally desire the restoration
of segregation as a matter of law, and
some even want the old Confederacy
to once again secede.) “But they have
now become national sites for a racist
rightwing move- ve-
ment. They
allow people to
feel embattled. d. You can
rally people to a last defence.”
Alexander Reid Ross is a lecturer
at Portland State
ate University, and
author of Against
inst the Fascist Creep,
a broad historical
ical survey of fascist
movements to o the present. He agrees
that Confederate ate monuments have at
once given the e far-right a convenient
set of symbolss to organise around and
swelled the constituency
onstituency for radical
neoconfederate te groups.
“Five or 10 years ago,” Ross says,
“there wasn’t even a big regional
constituency for neoconfederates. But
the increase in n college organising by
the ‘alt-right’ and neo-Nazi groups has
given them a new base.”
The alleged d murderer in Charlottes-
ville last Saturday,
rday, James Fields Jr,
was himself a supporter of a group,
6 The Guardian 17.08.17
Virginia police
stand by a statue Nationalists have
of Robert E Lee in
Charlottesville;
turned the statues
(below) a white
nationalist
into rallying points
attacks a counter- for resistance to
protester in
Charlottesville minority rights
Vanguard America, that explicitly
targets college-age men in its recruiting,
and hundreds of young men were active
participants in the weekend’s events.
The spectacle in Charlottesville of the
League of the South marching alongside
neo-fascist and neo-Nazi organisa-
tions such as Vanguard America, the
Traditionalist Workers party and the
National Socialist Movement demon-
strates that to some extent, their
objectives have fused.
Ross says that Confederate monu-
ments are attractive to these groups
partly because they represent a period
of unquestioned white supremacy.
“The civil war is seen as the last stand of
a proper, gentlemanly white tradition.”
But they also have value in terms of
movement strategy. He compares their
selection of the Lee statue in Charlottes-
ville to the “patriot movement”-inspired
occupation of the Malheur National
Wildlife Refuge in Oregon in 2016. “You
place an insurrectionary point some-
where and have people rally around it.”
George Hawley, a political scientist
at the University of Alabama, and
author of two books that examine
dissident rightwing movements, says
that national far-right movements
have been attracted to the fight over
Charlottesville’s monument partly
from “opportunism, and a desire for
controversy ... But it also comes from
their sincere feeling that attacks on
Confederate monuments are attacks on
whiteness, per se.”
He says that the discussion around
Confederate monuments is indicative
of the growing estrangement between
a resurgent radical right, and an embat-
tled mainstream conservatism. In the
past, he says, “mainstream conserva-
tive media outlets were supportive
of the maintenance of Confederate
symbols”, and did so using catch-
phrases such as “heritage, not hate”.
This changed after Roof’s rampage
in Charleston: establishment and
so-called “movement” conservatives
“stopped defending monuments”.
On the other hand, over the same
two years, passionate defenders of
Confederate symbols began “echoing
the progressive critique of the monu-
ments”, offering “a more radical push-
back against the idea that it wasn’t
about race”. From “heritage not hate”,
then, some moved to the admission
that their heritage was hate.
This was perfectly timed with
the rise of the “alt-right”. Like that
broader white nationalist movement,
they sought to leave behind the “dog-
whistling”, coded talk about race that
Republicans had been honing since
Nixon realigned the south’s politics
with his “southern strategy”, and
openly push white supremacy.
Southern politicians in communities
polarised around disputes over monu-
ments sometimes try to equivocate.
During the debate over the statue of Lee,
the Charlottesville mayor, Mike Signer,
suggested that, instead of removing
such statues, they could be “contex-
tualised” with plaques explaining the
civil war and the reasons it was fought.
Woolfork, the BLM activist, disagrees.
“There is no better context for these
statues than the hundreds of white
nationalists coming to defend them.”
She says they need to go. “You cannot
tell beautiful lies about ugly stories.”
There have been signs in the days
since that the events in Charlottesville
may have only accelerated the move-
ment against Confederate statues. In
Durham, North Carolina, a group of
protesters pulled down a monument
dedicated in 1924. On Tuesday night in
Baltimore, hours after Trump’s incen-
diary press conference, the city removed
four Confederate memorials, including
one of Robert E Lee and Stonewall
Jackson. Other cities have committed to
tearing statues down since the weekend.
For West, the sooner it happens,
the better. As the white nationalist
torchlight rally prepared to kick off not
a mile away, he said that the heritage
the statues speak for is not worth
PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES
commemorating. “The Confederacy is
part of a tradition that’s grounded in
hatred, and is tied to one of the most
vicious structures of domination in the
modern world.”
After the weekend’s events, it may
be that more of the white Americans
who consider these symbols a matter
of “pride” come to see his point.
 Cheap travel is yet another sign
that globalisation does not work
for everyone
Suzanne Moore
Y
ou are not wanted. You are killing
the thing you love. You are ruining
everything. You are demanding and
noisy and you drink too much. You
think the locals are pleased to see
you, but they are not. You are, in other words,
a tourist.
Before you tell me you are not that kind of
tourist, that in fact you spend your time sourcing
sausage in Puglia or patting peasants on the back
in the Languedoc, let me say this: tourism is
tourism. Indeed, part of the joy of it is thinking
you are better than other tourists. That is the
purpose of travel writing – it is a glorious display
of consumer discernment. If you are 18, or just
a little daft, you may prefer to call yourself
a “traveller”. This means you are having an
experience, not a holiday. Tourists expect loo
roll; travellers carry their own toilet paper with
the cardboard roll taken out. They take tours
of slums and favelas because they care more
than everybody else. “I am a great traveller,
so I have been there and done that.”
Then there are city-break types. After all,
lying on a beach is a bit plebeian, and aren’t all
beach holidays essentially the same? So, now we
ard on
A plac at La take long weekends in places I had barely heard
ach
the be oneta, of growing up. Tired of Berlin? Go to Tallinn.
Barcel ona Discover Maastricht, as it says on the Ryanair
Barcel website. Bone up on your brutalist architecture
somewhere freezing. That is not tourism, that is
“special”. But too many of us want special when
it comes to tourism.
We claim that travel opens our eyes to the
world – and it does, a little. But it also requires
closing them. We have to turn a blind eye
to much of what we see to enjoy ourselves.
Sometimes it is big things such as poverty and
unemployment. Mostly, though, we have to
ignore the hordes of people just like us, all of
whom want what we want: the authentic tapas,
a glimpse of an older way of life, a sight that
we can put on Instagram. Martin Parr did an
PHOTOGRAPH JOSEP LAGO/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
excellent series of pictures of tourists taking
pictures, called Small World, in 1996. There
are masses of them.
In the past few months, there has been
growing unease in Europe at the number of
tourists flooding in. Some blame “touristphobia”,
others shadowy anarchist groups. In Barcelona,
an anti-tourist group called Arran has been
blamed for slashing tyres and breaking the
windows of five-star hotels. In January, there
was a demonstration featuring banners that read
“Barcelona is not for sale”. Some protesters are
anti-capitalist and believe mass tourism destroys
cities. Certainly, the number of people going to
Spain is up. Locals recently stormed the beach
in La Barceloneta, fed up with the drunken antics
there. There have been similar protests in Palma,
Mallorca, and in San Sebastian.
But it is not only Spain. Florence is crammed
full. In Rome and Milan, bans have been put in
place to stop people paddling in the fountains or
eating in public. Venice is at breaking point, with
20 million tourists expected this year. The cruise
ships pile in. Pollution is bad. The population,
meanwhile, is dwindling – there are only 55,000
residents. There are few non-tourist shops and
only two cinemas in the whole city.
There are issues in Dubrovnik, too, where
the mayor has put in cameras to monitor the
flow of people arriving on cruise ships. The
island of Hvar, near Split, is fining visitors, often
British tourists, for nakedness and “debauchery”.
Sunny Beach in Bulgaria is notorious for the
bad behaviour of British tourists.
In many ways, these protests have been a
long time coming. Of course,
 tourism can play a part in
conserving and boosting
The Croatian cities. But surely what we
island Hvar are seeing now is that cheap
travel is yet another way in
is fining which globalisation is not
visitors, working for everyone. Those
often British who want to soak up Venice
may not be those who want
tourists, for to get trollied on a beach in
‘debauchery’ Bulgaria, but we all assume
a right to visit these places.
Much of the discontent is not only about
behaviour, but also about the hollowing out of
cities thanks to holiday rental services such as
Airbnb. Rising rents in Barcelona are making it
impossible for locals to continue to live in the
centre of the city.
We could avoid all of this by resorting to the
British bucket-and-spade getaway, the cold sea,
the shingle beach and the wet-dog holidays loved
by certain people. But this is not cheap, either.
Ethically, we know there are issues with
tourism, but we ignore them because we tell
ourselves that seeing the word will make us
appreciate it more. But what happens when
locals feel completely taken over by tourists?
Taleb Rifai, the secretary general of the United
Nations’ World Tourism Organization, considers
anti-tourist sentiment a serious issue. And it is.
I am not trying to ruin your holiday. But there
is no denying the innate imperialism of much
tourism. We tread heavily though the homes
of others as if we owned them. No wonder
they wish we weren’t here.
17.08.17 The Guardian 7

A
great restaurant experi-
ence relies on four things:
the food, the service, the
company (that’s your
job) and the atmosphere,
which is down to the maitre d’. That’s
me. By “atmosphere” I mean the music
and the lighting, yes, but there’s only
so much mood-setting Dave Brubeck
and a few filament bulbs can do. In the
end, it’s about the guests. The maitre
d’ runs the reservations book, which
means mixing the characters in the
room like the drinks in a cocktail to
get the right balance of shot and mixer,
salty and sweet.
At a top London restaurant, you
have the pick of the finest ingredients.
I once spent several minutes chatting
to celebrated California-based architect
Frank Gehry about the urban contrasts
between London and LA. Later that
evening, Pharrell Williams told me
8 The Guardian 17.08.17
Secrets
of a
maitre d’
How do you get a table at a hot dinner
spot without booking? Which diners
are most likely to kick up a fuss?
The gatekeeper at a top UK
restaurant reveals all
how much he liked the meatballs.
(Gehry and Williams weren’t dining
together, although I’m sure they would
get on.) Where else besides a chatshow
studio would you so frequently tly
y who you are. In the age of digital
encounter people at the top of their
game in business, entertainment,
ment,
sport and politics?
I don’t work in the sort of place
where the diners come to worship
orsship
at the stove of a celebrity chef.
ef.
They are not here because
they read an article about
our sous-vide roadkill with
wasabi foam and want
to post a picture of it on
Instagram. They are here
for a great night out, a place
where the food is excellent,
but not distracting, where
the service will reliably
impress a date or appease
a potential business partner
Living the high who is accustomed to the finer things
life ... Frank in life.
Gehry (left) and If you have reserved a table here
Pharrell Williams before, the restaurant already knows
booking systems such as OpenTable,
we are keeping a file on you almost by
accident. That means we already have
a note of our regulars’ allergies and
dietary preferences. We know their
PHOTOGRAPHS TWO DOZEN DESIGN; ALAMY
favourite bourbon and how they
take their coffee. We know not
to address Mr So-and-so’s date
as Mrs So-and-so, because the
file says he divorced his wife
three years ago.
If you are a particularly
crappy guest, we make a note
of that, too. The restaurant
maintains a notional greylist
and a blacklist of unpleasant
diners. Act like an arse and you
will find it very difficult to book a
table again. Swearing at staff or other
guests, racism, physical violence and
sexual exhibitionism will get you
banned outright.
That said, we cut diners some slack
for cultural considerations. Spanish
guests can take 45 minutes just to
decide on their order. I’ve witnessed
stand-up rows between Lebanese
diners over who gets to pay the bill.
Saudis can get deeply offended if
anyone else pays for a table reserved
in their name.
I learned that last one the hard way
on my first day, when I mistakenly sent
the bill to a table while the teenager
who had booked it was in the gents.
The young man returned to find the bill
paid and spent the next few minutes
yelling at me in front of his guests (and
everyone else). In most fine-dining
restaurants, the person who made the
reservation has to give their permis-
sion for anyone else to pay the bill, to
avoid exactly that kind of kerfuffle.
Of course, stereotypes don’t always
hold true. Some of my worst guest
encounters have been with self-made
men who might well have washed a
pot or two in their youths and ought
to know better. Some of the most
delightful have been with socialites
and minor royals.
When I first started working in fine
dining, I was bothered by the prospect
of serving the 1%. Make that the 0.1%.
But I learned that working for a luxury
brand is the same as working for any
other brand: doing it well keeps a
lot of talented, hard-working people
employed. Your meal costs that much
for a reason, and it’s not only the age of
your steak: at my restaurant, there are
only four diners per waiter. The waiters
rightly take pride in their work and the
diners are paying their wages.
The vast majority of my colleagues
are from elsewhere in Europe. I work
or have worked with Spaniards,
Italians, Poles, Estonians, Latvians,
Ukrainians, Romanians, Slovenians
and Greeks. People are worried that
Paris is going to take all of London’s
top bankers after Brexit. It might take
most of our best waiters, too. A lot of
them have lived here for 20 years or
more; naturally, they were upset by
the referendum result. Whether or
not they end up being allowed to stay
in Britain, the message they heard
was: “We don’t want you here.”
A restaurant’s week starts to hot up
on Wednesday and Thursday nights,
when the upper echelons of London
society come out to see and to be seen:
the Hampstead set, the Notting Hill
set, the Chipping Norton set; media
barons and big business figures; mini-
garchs and aristos. On Fridays, we get
The restaurant has
a blacklist of diners
who would find
it very difficult to
book a table againin
professionals letting down their eir
hair after a long week at work.
rk.
Saturdays are challenging, g,
because the diners tend to
have booked long in advance e morning or mid-afternoon, not
and want you to change their lives es
with a single meal. They are often
out-of-towners celebrating a special
occasion. Their spend-per-head is
lower than our average diner, but their
expectations are always higher. And
then there are weekend lunches.
If you want to do any business at all
on a Sunday lunchtime, you have to
accommodate families. I enjoy watch-
ing a posh restaurant transform into
a creche; kids do not care about your
pretensions. I once found nine of them
playing hide and seek under the tables
in our private dining room. If they
had tugged the wrong tablecloth, they
would have sent hundreds of pounds’
worth of crockery and silverware
crashing to the floor.
If you go to a top London restaurant
planning to spot a celebrity, prepare
to be disappointed. Part of our service
is to help a famous diner keep a low
profile, by putting them at a table in
a corner where nobody will notice
them and by surrounding them with
tables of other diners who can be
trusted to keep it together. If you are
bringing your mum on her birthday
treat, I’m sorry, but we are not seating
you next to Adele.
I have only been star-struck twice
in my time as a maitre d’. The second
time was when former Chelsea man-
ager Carlo Ancelotti arrived for dinner.
Most people didn’t recognise him, but
I and every Italian on the staff
freaked out when he walked
through the door. The first
time was when I was still a
rookie. I had to tell one of the
world’s greatest living actors
that there was no space
for him to sit at the bar.
I suggested he take a
table instead, but he
demurred politely
and went elsewhere
for his nightcap. My
boss, who had heard
the whole exchange,
turned to me and said:
“Did you just turn
away Harrison Ford?”
Do and don’ts
Dos
G
Get in the good books
Do
Phone to reserve a table in the
at the height of lunch or dinner
service. I once had someone call
the restaurant to chat about a job
vacancy at 8.30pm on a Saturday.
They did not get the job.
Walk in without a reservation,
especially on a weekday. Even at
8pm, there’s a good chance you will
get a table. We love walk-ins, because
the people tend to be spontaneous
and relaxed and don’t have the
heavy expectations that come with
a long-planned reservation.
Be honest. Some diners book for
three people, knowing there will only
be two, just to get a bigger table. We
know your game. If you persist, you
will end up on the greylist. Better to
say: “There are only two of us, but I
would love a bigger table if possible.”
Half the time, you will get one.
Don’t
Dress for McDonald’s. We are not
Sorry, Mum ... going to make you wear a tie. But if
you won’t be you show the restaurant no respect,
seated next to you will be treated similarly. You will
a celeb such as probably be given a table out of the
Adele at a fine- way, too, because other diners will
dining restaurant have made the effort.
Say the owner is a close personal
friend of yours. When someone
tells me they know the owner,
it’s normally because they are
threatening to have me fired
because I don’t have a table available
for them. If you have to let the
maitre d’ know what a big deal
you are, you are not.
Arrive with unrealistic expectations.
Relax, enjoy the company and you
will have a great time. At the end
of the day, it’s only dinner (in the
middle of the day, it’s only lunch).
17.08.17 The Guardian 9
 Food

You don’t have to be a

kid to indulge in these
easy-to-make treats.
And licking the bowl is
positively encouraged,
says Felicity Cloake

How to
make
the perfect
chocolate
crispy
cakes

T
his is the ideal project
for the dog days of the
holidays, yet also quick and
easy enough to make after
school for those already
back at the chalkface … or indeed, after
work. There’s no age limit on pleasure.
The rice
You wouldn’t think there was much
debate about this, but Christal Sczebel
of the Nutrition in the Kitch blog
rejects the usual “puffed refined rice”
The chocolate
I remember making these with cocoa
powder, but chocolate seems to be
a more common choice these days,
although Martha Stewart and Sczebel
do use powder (the latter in the form
of raw cacao, naturally). Chocolate
gives the cakes a more rounded
character, with testers preferring
the higher-cocoa versions to the
very sweet milk sort suggested by
Nigella Lawson (although I suspect
under-10s may disagree). Everyone
Cereal thrillers … to stir in some cocoa powder, too.
perfect rice Nicky Evans’ Mars bar-based recipe
crispy cakes divides the table: we all love its salty
caramel flavour, but it is far richer than
the traditional kind – “You couldn’t
eat more than a tiny square,” says one
tester, putting away her third. Well
worth a go, especially if you’re making
these with ingredients foraged from the
all-night garage (no judgment here),
but not canonical crispy cake territory.
The fat
PHTOOGRAPHS FELICITY CLOAKE/GRAEME ROBERTSON FOR THE GUARDIAN

in favour of the brown version. Unfor- loves the combination of milk and dark Butter is the usual choice of lubricant,
tunately, the stuff I find is chewy rather chocolate in the recipe from Annie although Sczebel substitutes vegan
than crunchy. Clearly this is not a treat Bell’s Baking Bible, however – and to margarine and almond butter. This
that is destined to be high in fibre. make them really chocolatey I’m going works well texture-wise, and gives

10 The Guardian 17.08.17

the cakes a subtle nutty flavour that
is a real hit with testers, but again, we
conclude it doesn’t fit with our fond
memories. It is also worth bearing in
mind that neither of these substances
sets quite as firm as dairy butter, so
the resulting cakes will be more fragile
than the usual sticky missiles – the
recipe recommends a spell in the
freezer, then overnight refrigeration to
help them set.
The sweetener
Bell and Evans feel that chocolate is
quite sweet enough on its own (and no
wonder, with five Mars bars involved),
but sugar acts as a binder as well as a
flavouring here: Lawson’s golden syrup
gives her cakes a pleasing, slightly
sticky quality which makes them less
dry than Bell’s version. Stewart goes
for melted marshmallows, which
gives her cakes an unnervingly chewy,
almost stringy consistency, and
Sczebel uses raw honey, which we
can’t detect in the finished product.
Sometimes you just can’t beat an
inverted sugar syrup (I repeat: these
should be consumed in moderation).
The extras
Stewart and Evans top their cakes with
melted dark chocolate, but this feels
far too decadent for such a simple treat
– even Bell’s white chocolate chips add
too much complexity, while Sczebel’s
desiccated coconut confuses the issue.
This is a gloriously one-dimensional
pleasure: no gussying up required.
(Makes about 25)
100g dark chocolate
75g milk chocolate
50g butter
2 tbsp cocoa powder
4 tbsp golden syrup
135g puffed rice
Set a heatproof bowl over a pan of
simmering water, making sure it
doesn’t touch the water. Break the
chocolate into roughly equal-sized
pieces and add to the bowl along with
the butter. Melt, stirring occasionally
to help it along.
Meanwhile, put the puffed rice in a
large bowl, and line a tin about 20cm
square with foil.
Once the chocolate has melted,
stir in the cocoa and syrup until you
have a smooth mixture. Pour into the
bowl of puffed rice and mix well, then
spoon into the tin. Press down very
firmly with the back of a spoon, then
refrigerate for 1-2 hours until set. Cut
into squares and store in an airtight
container well out of easy reach.
Inspect a gadget
Salthouse Himalayan
n
salt block, Whole
Foods, £34.99
By Rhik Samadder
My testers What?
Aggregate mass of halite, arranged in
prefer the rectangular cuboid and employed as
high-cocoa a cooking surface.
versions to
Why?
the very Salt licks are used by horses to
sweet milk prevent colic. And you’re not better
sort (but than them.
under-10s Well?
may Salmon-pink opacity, glinting veins
disagree) and huge density make this week’s
offering feel like a primaeval object.
Which it is. According to the Prose
Edda, the universal cow Auðumbla
lapped at a salt block to uncover
the first Norse god. (Elves, giants
and a cosmology story based on a
Kinder egg? I guess that’s why Mum’s
gone to Iceland.) But can a massive
block of natural Himalayan salt do
anything for my food other than
overseason it?
Well, salt melts at 800C/1,470F, and
has a huge thermal mass. This means a
block of it can get extremely hot, three
times hotter than a pizza stone, and
hold that heat for ages, making it an
ideal grilling surface. You can buy one
in – where else? – Whole Foods Market,
but that’s just the beginning. You will
also have to buy special gloves that
can withstand hundreds of degrees
of heat, and temper the block, which
takes three hours of heating, six of
cooling. When blisteringly hot, it does
Christal Sczebel’s
‘healthy’ version
(top); Annie Bell’s
with white
chocolate chips
‘Like having a nuclear rod in the house’ ... Rhik tries salt-block cooking
a fine job. Pork loin and tuna steak
sear quickly, with a savoury crust,
while burgers sizzle through at a lower
temperature and cookie dough picks
up a tangy saltiness.
Salt-block cooking would make
a great talking point at parties;
transferred to a ceramic trivet, you
could finish food at the table. Yet
I feel there is something affected,
even needy, about its performative
flair; you might as well be wearing
a name tag that says: “Please ask me
about my salt block.” The surface
discolours quickly, and scraping
it clean is also a headache, while
grilled eggs and cheese drip off
the sides.
Devotees claim all foods benefit
from the flavour, but I served fruit
salad on a cold block and it tasted as
if it had been kicked into the sea. It is
also like having a nuclear rod in the
house, and scorched my counter. It’s
fun, but I’m not sure I can justify the
fun. Lot’s wife sits on the counter,
giving me salty looks. She’s a hottie,
but a high-maintenance one. I turn
around and keep walking.
Any downside?
Also makes a great talking point for
anyone who hates you.
Counter, drawer, back of the
cupboard?
Salt Lick City. 3/5
17.08.17 The Guardian 11
 Arts

F
or a man who is six foot
four, with a springy quiff
and strikingly sunken eyes,
it is surprising how easily
Peter Serafinowicz blends
into the background. Often, he is heard
and not seen: he makes a pretty penny
from advert voiceovers and computer
games, not to mention supplying the
menacing tones of Darth Maul in Star
Wars: The Phantom Menace, and
voicing a bank-robbing cockney gorilla
in the recent hit animation Sing.
There was his award-winning
eponymous 2007 sketch show, which
introduced the world to the Butterfield
Diet Plan (one cornflake for breakfast,
broccoli shavings for lunch, a baked
bean for dinner – but on Saturdays
you could literally eat anything for 24
hours, including “pork cylinders”).
This followed the cult favourite Look
Around You, which perfectly spoofed
1970s educational TV, at one point
teaching viewers the correct way to
shave raspberries before coating them
in gold.
But, those aside, Serafinowicz has
mostly restricted himself to guesting in
sitcoms (Spaced, Parks and Recreation)
and Hollywood blockbusters
(Guardians of the Galaxy, John Wick 2).
There’s not so much pressure that way,
he tells me, when we meet in a London
hotel, though you still need to be on
your toes: on the first day of shooting
Spy, he was rehearsing a scene with
Melissa McCarthy when he noticed
she was crying. “I asked if she was all
right and she said, ‘Well, I’m doing the
scene.’ I went, ‘Ohhh, you’re acting.’
I thought to myself, ‘I’d better bring
my A-game. Not this D-game I’ve been
working with so far.’ At least it wasn’t
all riding on me.”
That’s all about to change with The
Tick, the new Amazon comedy that
gives Serafinowicz his largest role to
date. You can’t miss him: as the title
character – an odd, old-fashioned
superhero in a world overrun with

Ready to rubber up!

caped crusaders – he spends the series
in a bright blue rubberised bodysuit,
antennae twitching on his head.
“The costume is like this vertical blue
sarcophagus,” explains the 45-year-old,
who lives in London with the comic
Voice of Darth Maul, creator of Sassy Trump, inventor of the eat-all-
actor Sarah Alexander (best known day diet … Peter Serafinowicz is a creative powerhouse. But now he’s
for Coupling) and their two children.
ldren.
“I feel as if I’m in my y own
finally hit leading man status – playing ironic superhero The Tick in
private room when en I’m a big blue suit. Ryan Gilbey braces himself for a billion jokes
wearing it,” he says. ys. “It’s
Serafinowicz’s
quite isolating. religion
Tarvuism enab
I like to mess les believers
to talk to octopu
around between ses
takes but that’s
out of the question.”
If there is an upside e, it’s
that it fits neatly with The

14 The Guardian 17.08.17

8.17

Tick himself, who stands apart from his
crimefighting colleagues by virtue of
his innocence and ingenuousness: he’s
a comic naif in the same mould as Buzz
Lightyear or Buddy from Elf. “I suppose
that is a tiny compensation,” he says.
“Everyone else thinks he’s a freak. Even
the other superheroes are like, ‘Who is
this guy?’”
While British audiences may be
asking the same question, American
fans have cherished the character from
his comic-book debut in the 1980s
through to previous TV incarnations.
“When we were filming in New
York, we got so much attention,”
Serafinowicz says. “People were
slowing down their cars and calling
out, ‘Ayyyy, it’s The Tick!’ or ‘Big Blue
Guy!’ if they couldn’t remember his
name. ‘Ant-Man’ was another. I didn’t
correct them.”
Nor does he seize on my error when
I accidentally refer to him as The Flea –
although once I acknowledge it myself,
he veers off on a whimsical tangent that
provides an insight into how his mind
works. “Ticks are different to fleas,
aren’t they? They’re dangerous. You
mustn’t break them off because they
can get stuck in you. And they give you
a very nasty disease that can ruin your
life. You get terribly ill.”
For a brief moment I glimpse a
typical Serafinowicz train of thought,
which is apt to be diverted along
a tangled and circuitous route. He
admits as much when he tells me
about a recent trip to Munich. “At
breakfast, there were these antlers
with pretzels hanging on them. This
pretzel-and-antler arrangement I just
found incredibly funny.” He is shaking
his head, a laugh bubbling up until it
erupts into a dirty cackle. “That sort of
thing can set me off for a good hour. I’ll
PHOTOGRAPHS LINDA NYLIND FOR THE GUARDIAN; ALAMY; MYLES ARONOWITZ
start thinking about it: where did the
idea come from, who approved it?”
It’s what makes his comedy so
seductive. Whether it’s Tarvuism, the
religion he created on Look Around
were alive ’ …
‘If Liberace
to tone it
tell Trump
rafinow icz’s Sass
Se
You, which enables its believers to talk
to octopuses, or any of the doolally
characters from his sketch show
(a debonair vampire working as a
‘It’s like w
presenter on the Shopping Channel, a
blue sarco
jolly estate agent who makes menacing
… as The T
asides in gangland patois), his comic
creations have the air of daydreams
pursued to their loopy conclusions.
Like a benign Chris Morris, he
specialises in the comedy of disparity:
demented phrases and ideas presented
with straight-faced gravitas.
Something slightly different,
though, is occurring in the case of
Sassy Trump, a character he has
created by overdubbing videos of the
US president, using his exact words
delivered in a camp whine, like an
Tears on set …
with Melissa
McCarthy in Spy
, he’d
d o wn
y T rump
American Kenneth Williams. Whereas
Serafinowicz usually invites us to
see the ridiculous side of things that
might otherwise be taken seriously,
Sassy Trump is intended to prevent its
audience from becoming inured to the
poisonous poppycock emerging daily
from the president’s mouth.
“The point is to stop it becoming
normal,” he says. “Most people would
agree he appears to be a tough guy, an
alpha male, when in fact he has this
daintiness, this exaggerated femininity,
that is somehow disguised by this tidal
wave of bullshit. Listen to what he
actually says and you realise he’s like
some mean, bitchy, failed Broadway
choreographer. If Liberace were
alive, he would call him up and say,
‘Donald, you’ve got to tone it down! It’s
embarrassing!’”
Serafinowicz has been revoicing
Trump for 18 months now, in between
his other pursuits: writing, acting,
directing (his music videos include one
for Hot Chip starring Terence Stamp) as
earing a well as tweeting prodigiously as a way
phagus’ of sharpening his gag-crafting skills. A
ick Billion Jokes!, a book of his Twitticisms,
was published five years ago, and he
still prizes the 140-character format. “I
use Twitter as my public joke book and
I’ve found it very helpful, that thing of
ripping out any extraneous words. It’s
a great lesson for writing at any length.”
But he will still find time for
Trump, even though a two-minute
clip can take three hours out of his
day. “Adding this silky voice removes
the layer of bullshit and reveals more
clearly what he’s actually saying,” he
says. “It’s easy to ignore when we’re
bombarded every day with it.” He has
experimented with Cockney Trump, to
foreground the violence in the words,
and Sophisticated Trump, to highlight
his pathetically doomed pretensions.
Sassy, though, is here to stay – and with
good reason: “I think it’s the one that
will annoy him the most.”
The Tick is on Amazon from 25 August
17.08.17 The Guardian 15
 My best shot Pamela Singh ‘This is the City of Widows. Beneath
that bundle of clothes is a bereaved woman who has come here to die’
One day in 1994, while staying in
Vrindavan, a small town in Uttar
Pradesh, I went exploring on my
own. I came upon a quiet square. It
was midday and the Indian heat was
sweltering. I saw a woman lying alone,
swaddled in fabric. In the background
of this shot, you can see a bundle of
clothes. That’s her.
I moved towards her and saw she
was dying. She was extremely old and
clearly in her final moments. I went
to fetch her some water when a group
of children appeared. They thought
nothing of it. They explained that
elderly women and widows often come
here to die. She could no longer talk.
Sometimes known as the City of
Widows, the town is a magnet for
bereaved women. Some 15,000 live
there, and thousands more travel
there each year. Legend has it that
Krishna, the Hindu god of love and
compassion, spent his childhood in
Vrindavan. Pilgrims flock from all over
to pay their respects.
Some of the widows are just
children. In some provinces of India,
young girls only a few years old are
married off to much older men. They
16 The Guardian 17.08.17
are often widowed by the time they’re
10. Left to fend for themselves, they
come to Vrindavan in search of solace
and support. The more fortunate live in
charitable homes, but most beg in the
street. They wear only white, and their
heads are shaven. There’s something
extremely elegant about them. Despite
unimaginable hardship, these women
persevere and devote themselves to
living a truly spiritual life.
I was staying in one of the town’s
many ashrams, or spiritual retreats.
I had befriended a local woman, who
was close to 100 years old. She had no
teeth and seemed to drink nothing but
milk. I paid the milkman every month
so she could get a litre or so when she
needed. Every day, she would wind
her way through the
streets, and often
I would follow her.
No cars are allowed
in the town, so I
travelled miles each
day on foot, tracing
her path. She led
me into streets
visitors would never normally
see. Through her eyes I saw a
lot of things. She had lived a difficult
life but felt no bitterness. She was
very sweet.
THE CV
That day, though, it was just the
dying woman and me. There was an
Born
New Delhi, 1962.
overwhelming stillness to the scene.
Studied At some point, out of nowhere, the
International Centre monkeys to the right of the shot
of Photography, appeared. And a moment later, the
New York. woman passed away. It was a very
Influences strange feeling, but in the context of
Julia Margaret non-western philosophy it made sense.
Cameron, Ana
Just as some Buddhists and Hindus
Mendieta, Francesca
Woodman. scale Mount Kailash in Tibet and perish
High point: in the cold, these widows pass away
PHOTOGRAPHS PAMELA SINGH COURTESY SEPIAEYE
“My work being under the heat of the sun.
acquired by museum I sent for the local authorities to
collections.” collect the body. While I was waiting,
Low point my eye was drawn towards the gate at
“I just don’t
the edge of the square. I wandered
go there.”
Top tip over and pulled out the small Leica I
“Shoot from used to shoot with in those days. The
the hip and have serenity of the scene spoke to me and I
a good time.” took this shot, with myself to the side.
The gate was a threshold, a juncture
between life and death. I had just
witnessed this woman pass through it.
Interview by Edward Siddons
 Television
N
o More Boys and Girls:
Can Kids Go Gender
Free? (BBC2) caused
a minor controversy
before it aired, labelled
“shocking” and “bold” by some
reports, and even “potentially very
harmful” by Grassroots Conservatives’
reliably facile Mary Douglas. This
is not surprising. Such is the frenzy
and hysteria about trans lives right
now – particularly from otherwise
sensible and compassionate people
who have a blind spot when it comes
to empathising with transgender
people – that “gender-free” invokes a
ridiculous image of, say, experimental
Scandinavian neutrality where
saying “boy” or “girl” is forbidden, or
pre-puberty hormone-blockers being
forced upon girls who are tomboys. It
is transparently a disproportionate and
irrational fear, yet it’s little wonder that
a show that promises to discuss gender
with a classroom full of seven-year-
olds has stoked these paranoid flames.
The title, though, is far more
fiery than anything contained in the
programme. This two-part documen-
tary, the brainchild of presenter and
Médecins Sans Frontières doctor Javid
Abdelmoneim, is actually a rather
gentle social experiment that asks:
what would happen to a classroom of
seven-year-olds if they weren’t treated
differently as boys and girls? This
translates to such things as painting
the pink and blue coat cupboards
PHOTOGRAPH BBC/OUTLINE PRODUCTIONS
a universal orange and no longer
segregating children according to
gender, or introducing the kids to a
female mechanic and a male dancer,
or reading them stories in which the
princess is also the hero of the story,
and does not need rescuing by a prince.
This kind of thing has been
explored before, with Channel
4’s Secret Life Of … series, which
put four, five and six-year-olds
through a series of psychological
tests and came to largely the same
Last night's TV
Ditch the pink and blue
and let girls be mechanics
and boys express feelings
By Rebecca Nicholson
conclusions. Broadly speaking, girls
have lower self-esteem than boys,
while boys struggle to express their
emotions, and “gendered” interests
– mechanics for boys, makeup for
girls – are fixed early on in a child’s
development. According to the various
scientists and medical professionals
Abdelmoneim interviews, there is no
biological reason that these should be
pre-determined.
Yet adults unwittingly pander to
these stereotypes. There is a curious
experiment within an experiment
in which babies are dressed up as
the opposite gender, and volunteers
choose toys for them to play with.
The babies dressed as girls get dolls
and fluffy animals; those dressed as
boys are handled more roughly, and
put on bikes. It’s crude science but it
Dr Javid Abdelmoneim asks if gender
stereotypes are harming our children
is an effective demonstration of the
large part adults play in upholding
these ideas. The class teacher, Mr
Andre, who begins by calling girls
“love” and “darling” and boys “fella”
and “mate”, is incredibly receptive
to Abdelmoneim’s suggestions, and
his openness to being shown what he
might do differently is admirable.
Cheeky chappie Riley insists that
men are better because “they’re
stronger and they’ve got more jobs”,
while Kara free-associates what she
connects with being a girl: “pretty,
lipstick, dresses, lovehearts”. But this
has a darker side. One girl already
thinks of herself as “ugly”; Riley
thinks it isn’t OK to cry if you’re a
boy. Abdelmoneim is measured and
persuasive about the implications for
when they become adults. Such rigid
stereotypes, in which men repress
their emotions and women think
they’re worthless, are what is really
harmful, not daring to ask interesting
questions about why we think and act
the way we do.
Celebrity MasterChef (BBC1) is
back, filling the MasterChef-shaped
hole in our lives. John Torode explains
that, in this competition, celebrities
get the chance to show “another
talent”, which is kind to some of the
celebrities set to appear, who barely
have a primary talent. When ordinary
people go on MasterChef, it’s because
they have culinary skill. Celebrity Mas-
terChef is more fun because there’s
more chance of a deconstructed pork
pie-style car crash. In that respect,
this opener is a let down, because the
AND ANOTHER meals are all edible-looking. But I’m
THING
hopeful that Jim ‘Vic Reeves’ Moir can
Solidarity to those bring something to the mix eventually.
soldiering through He survived adding beetroot flavoured
the shocking Top of with orange oil to a corned beef hash
the Lake: China Girl and poached egg this week, but there
on iPlayer right now. are plenty more rounds to come.
17.08.17 The Guardian 17

TV and radio
Watch this
How to Make Your
Marriage Work
10pm, Channel 4
Whether couples from Brent are
supremely compatible, slavishly
loyal or just very accommodating
regarding the tribulations of
married life, the area boasts
one of Britain’s lowest divorce
rates. Five married couples
from the north London borough
discuss the ingredients of a long
and happy marriage, including
surviving the onset of kids and
coping with temptation. All
without any bickering over what
to watch next in the Netflix
queue. Mark Gibbings-Jones
10 Puppies and Us
8pm, BBC2
Last part of the series that
has kept dog lovers both
enchanted (with the doggies)
and exasperated (at their clueless
new owners), all wrapped up in
the avuncular narration of the
bloke who defines puppyish, Neil
Morrissey. Before a final catchup
to see how they all got on, we
pop round to new homeowners
Alex and Pete and their extremely
chewy rescue pup Pippa, and see
how psychic Delia is coping with a
bitey Shiva. Ali Catterall
Top of the Lake: China Girl
9pm, BBC2
Elisabeth Moss’s Robin Griffin
struggles on, besieged from
all sides. She’s moved directly
into Alexander’s orbit now,
and – remarkably – he’s getting
even creepier, exploiting Mary’s
vulnerabilities and putting her
in serious danger. Aspects of the
plot feel contrived, particularly
the clunky confluence of Robin’s
private and professional life.
But this is still a taut exploration
of the ways in which men
impose their will upon women.
Phil Harrison
18 The Guardian 17.08.17
How to
Marriage Make Your
Work, Ch
annel 4
The Brighton Police
9pm, ITV
New series looking at the work
of the police force in the seaside
town. It’s a longwinded old do,
as the police deal with an armed
robbery down at the bookies and
then face a cocaine bust. There’s
something mundane about the
work the people in blue do here,
with paperwork, CCTV-watching
and much gathering of evidence
for court cases. Then they get
sworn at by drunk people who
think it’s a good idea to drive
a car. Hannah Verdier
Taxi of Mum and Dad
9pm, Channel 4
For this one-off doc, the fly-on-
the-wall format is transposed to
the family car, with its no-escape
potential. We earwig as various
teens in different towns are fer-
ried about by their parents: Sarah,
for example, who is debating with
her mother the merits of trying
nitrous oxide, and Ben, trying to
explain to his mum the meaning
of “buff ting”. If the random chat
of strangers has never engaged
you, you’ll struggle to see the
point. Sharon O’Connell
BBC2
s and Us,
10 Puppie
Film of the day
Modern Times (10pm, Sky Arts)
Chaplin’s final appearance as the silent Tramp
character. A wonderful mix of his embattled factory
worker’s Depression-era politics and slapstick genius
BBC1 BBC2
6.0 Breakfast (T) 9.15 Wanted 6.0 The World’s Most Photographed
Down Under (T) (R) 10.0 Homes (T) (R) 6.30 Bargain Hunt (T)
Under the Hammer (T) (R) 11.0 (R) 7.15 Heir Hunters (T) (R)
Heir Hunters (T) 11.45 Close 8.0 Sign Zone. Nadiya’s British
Calls: On Camera (T) (R) 12.15 Food Adventure (T) (R) 8.30
Bargain Hunt (T) (R) 1.0 News Great British Menu (T) (R) 9.0
and Weather (T) 1.30 Regional Victoria Derbyshire (T) 11.0 BBC
News (T) 1.45 Red Rock (T) 2.30 Newsroom Live (T) 1.0 Two Tribes
Impossible (T) (R) 3.15 Escape (T) (R) 1.30 A Taste of Britain (T)
to the Country (T) (R) 4.15 Flog (R) 2.15 Coast (T) (R) 2.30 
It! (T) (R) 5.15 Pointless (T) (R) Quo Vadis (1951) (T) 5.15 Put Your
6.0 News and Weather (T) 6.30 Money Where Your Mouth Is (T)
Regional News (T) 7.0 The One (R) 6.0 Eggheads (T) (R) 6.30
Show (T) 7.30 EastEnders (T) Royal Recipes (T) 7.0 Celebrity
Antiques Road Trip (T) (R)
8.0 Who Do You Think You Are? (T) 8.0 10 Puppies and Us (T) First-time
Singer Lulu travels home to homeowners Alex and Pete
Glasgow to find out why her welcome a rescue pup that has an
mother was the only one of extreme chewing habit, and the
seven children to be given up for Woolf family try to toilet-train
adoption by her birth parents. their cockapoo. Last in the series.
9.0 DIY SOS: The Big Build (T) (R) 9.0 Top of the Lake: China Girl
The team transform the Epsom (T) There is a breakthrough
home of a family whose five- with the discovery of China
year-old son has special needs. Girl’s identity, and Puss turns
violent at the beach.
10.0 News (T) 10.0 The Mash Report (T) Nish Kumar’s
10.30 Regional News (T) satirical and surreal take on the
10.45 Don’t Deport Me, I’m British (T) week’s news.
The stories of three young men 10.30 Newsnight (T) Weather
who came to the UK as children. 11.15 No More Boys and Girls: Can Our
11.40 Queer Britain (T) A look at Kids Go Gender Free? (T) (R)
casual racism within the 12.15 Sign Zone The Sweet Makers:
LGBTQ community. A Victorian Treat (T) (R) 1.15
12.10 Queer Britain (T) 12.45 Weather 10 Puppies and Us (T) (R) 2.15
for the Week Ahead (T) 12.50 This Is BBC2 (T)
News (T)
on the Hill 6.55 Amazing
Other channels ITV2
6.0am Louisa Johnson:
Spaces 7.55 Grand
Designs 9.0 Outlander
The Hot Desk 6.10 You’ve 10.15 Millionaires’
Been Framed! Gold 6.35 Mansions: Designing
CBBC Coach Trip: Road to Zante Below Deck 7.20 The Britain’s Most Exclusive
7.0am Arthur 7.0 Zig and 6.55 Made in Chelsea 8.0 Ellen DeGeneres Show Homes 11.20 8 Out of
Zag’s Zogcasts 7.15 The Melissa & Joey 9.0 Black- 8.0 Emmerdale 8.30 10 Cats Does Countdown
Deep 7.40 Newsround ish 10.0 Baby Daddy 11.0 Coronation Street 9.0 12.20 Kitchen Nightmares
7.45 Matilda and the How I Met Your Mother You’ve Been Framed! Best USA 1.15 Outlander 2.30
Ramsay Bunch 8.0 Odd 12.0 The Goldbergs 1.0 of the Best 10.0 The Great Grand Designs
Squad 8.15 Newsround The Big Bang Theory 2.0 Indoors 10.30 Guidance
8.20 The Pets Factor 8.45 Melissa & Joey 3.0 Baby 11.0 Fame High 11.15 Sky1
The Zoo 9.0 Marrying Daddy 4.0 Black-ish 5.0 Third Wheel 11.25 Below 6.0am NCIS: Los Angeles
Mum and Dad 9.30 The The Goldbergs 6.0 The Deck 12.20 Emmerdale 7.0 NCIS: Los Angeles
Dengineers 10.0 Junior Big Bang Theory 7.0 12.55 Coronation Street 8.0 Monkey Life 8.30
Bake Off 10.30 The Worst Hollyoaks 7.30 Coach 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! Monkey Life 9.0 The Dog
Witch 11.0 Now You See Trip: Road to Zante 8.0 Gold 2.0 The Ellen Whisperer 10.0 It’s Me
It 11.10 Hacker Time The Big Bang Theory DeGeneres Show 2.50 The or the Dog 10.30 It’s Me
11.40 World’s End 11.55 8.30 Kevin Can Wait 9.0 Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 or the Dog 11.0 Modern
World’s End 12.10 The Body Fixers 10.0 The The Jeremy Kyle Show Family 11.30 Modern
Next Step 12.30 The Next Inbetweeners 10.35 5.0 Judge Rinder 6.0 Family 12.0 NCIS: Los
Step 12.55 The Next Step The Inbetweeners 11.10 You’ve Been Framed! Gold Angeles 1.0 NCIS: Los
1.15 Just Kidding 1.35 The Big Bang Theory Reloaded 7.0 You’ve Been Angeles 2.0 Hawaii
Shaun the Sheep 1.45 11.40 The Big Bang Framed! Gold Goes Wild! Five-0 3.0 MacGyver
Zig and Zag 1.55 Scream Theory 12.10 Gogglebox 8.0 Two and a Half Men 4.0 The Flash 5.0 The
Street 2.05 Operation 1.15 The Inbetweeners 8.30 Two and a Half Men Flash 6.0 Futurama
Ouch! Hospital Takeover 1.50 The Inbetweeners 9.0 Hall Pass (2011) 6.30 The Simpsons
2.35 Junior Bake Off 3.05 2.20 Body Fixers 3.15 (FYI Daily at 10pm) 7.0 The Simpsons 7.30
Bottersnikes & Gumbles Celebs Go Dating 4.05 11.10 Family Guy 11.40 The Simpsons 8.0 Duck
3.15 Dennis the Menace Kevin Can Wait 4.25 Family Guy 12.10 Family Quacks Don’t Echo 9.0
and Gnasher 3.30 Odd Rude(ish) Tube 4.50 How Guy 12.40 American Karl Pilkington: The
Squad 3.40 The Zoo 3.55 I Met Your Mother 5.10 Dad! 1.10 American Moaning of Life 10.0
Marrying Mum and Dad How I Met Your Mother Dad! 1.35 Mom 2.0 A League of Their Own
4.20 Newsround 4.30 So Mom 2.25 Teleshopping 11.0 Freddie Down
Awkward 5.0 So Awkward Film4 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen Under 12.0 A League
5.30 Blue Peter: Green 11.0am Ramona of Their Own 1.0 Ross
Badge Special 6.0 and Beezus (2010) 1.05 More4 Kemp: Extreme World 2.0
Dragons: Race to the Thunderbirds 8.55am A Place in the Hawaii Five-0 3.0 Brit
Edge 6.25 Scream Street Are Go! (1966) 2.55 Sun: Home or Away 9.55 Cops: Frontline Crime
6.35 Arthur 6.50 The Zoo  Young Sherlock A Place in the Sun: Home UK 4.0 Animal 999 4.30
7.0 Operation Ouch! 7.30 Holmes (1985) 5.05 or Away 11.0 Four in a Animal 999 5.0 Monkey
Blue Peter: Green Badge Dr Dolittle 2 Bed 11.35 Four in a Bed Life 5.30 Monkey Life
Special 8.0 The Dumping (2001) 6.45  12.05 Four in a Bed 12.35
Ground 8.30 So Awkward The Three Musketeers Four in a Bed 1.05 Four in Sky Arts
(2011) 9.0  a Bed 1.40 A Place in the 6.0am André Rieu:
E4 Riddick (2013) 11.20 Sun: Home or Away 2.40 Romance 8.0 Watercolour
All programmes from 8am Monsters: Dark A Place in the Sun: Home Challenge 8.30
to 7pm are double bills Continent (2014) 1.40 or Away 3.45 Time Team Watercolour Challenge
6.0am Hollyoaks 6.30 Fill the Void (2012) 4.50 Time Team 5.55 Vet 9.0 Tales of the
 Much more on TV
For news, reviews,
series, liveblogs
and recaps, go to
theguardian.com/tv-and-radio

ITV Channel 4 Channel 5 BBC 4

6.0 Good Morning Britain (T) 8.30
Lorraine (T) 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (T) (R) 10.30 This Morning
(T) 12.30 Loose Women (T) 1.30
News (T) 1.55 Local News (T) 2.0
Judge Rinder (T) (R) 3.0 Tenable
(T) (R) 3.59 Local News and
Weather (T) 4.0 Tipping Point
(T) (R) 5.0 Cash Trapped (T) 6.0
Local News (T) 6.30 News (T) 7.0
Emmerdale (T) The day of Pete
and Leyla’s wedding dawns. 7.30
Tonight: How Safe Is a Sun Tan? (T)
Kylie Pentelow looks at the latest
advice on exposure to the sun.
8.0 Emmerdale (T) Leyla confides
in Priya that she has rushed
into marriage.
8.30 James Martin’s French Adventure
(T) The chef heads to Bresse,
where he meets Georges Blanc,
one of his culinary heroes.
9.0 The Brighton Police (T) Two-
part documentary, starting
with an investigation into a
robbery at a betting shop.
6.0 Countdown (T) (R) 6.45 Will &
Grace (T) (R) 7.35 Everybody
Loves Raymond (T) (R) 8.30 Frasier
(T) (R) 10.0 The Big Bang Theory
(T) (R) 11.0 The Simpsons (T) (R)
12.0 News (T) 12.05 Couples Come
Dine With Me (T) (R) 1.05 Posh
Pawn (T) (R) 2.10 Countdown
(T) 3.0 Cheap Cheap Cheap (T)
4.0 A Place in the Sun: Winter
Sun (T) (R) 5.0 Four in a Bed (T)
(R) 5.30 Come Dine With Me (T)
6.0 The Simpsons (T) (R) 6.30
Hollyoaks (T) 7.0 News (T)
8.0 Child Genius (T) The quarter-final
sees the 11 remaining competitors
tested on their knowledge
of science, before having to
memorise 104 playing cards.
9.0 Taxi of Mum and Dad (T) A look
through the windscreens of eight
family cars, eavesdropping on the
conversations between parents
and teenagers.
6.0 Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 The Yorkshire Vet
(T) (R) 12.10 News (T) 12.15
Celebrity Big Brother (T) (R)
1.10 Access (T) 1.15 Home and
Away (T) 1.45 Neighbours (T)
2.20 NCIS (T) (R) 3.15 
After All These Years (Scott
Smith, 2013) (T) 5.0 News (T)
5.30 Neighbours (T) (R) 6.0 Home
and Away (T) (R) 6.30 News (T)
7.0 All New Traffic Cops (T) (R)
8.0 Nightmare Tenants: Get Out of
My House (T) (R) The owner of
a tanning salon regrets letting
an employee move into a house
he owns when he is faced with
complaints from the neighbours
about wild parties – and £3,000 in
unpaid rent. Includes news update
9.0 Celebrity Big Brother (T) Highlights
from the house.
7.0 World News Today (T) 7.30 The
Sky at Night (T) (R) Chris Lintott
and Maggie Aderin-Pocock keep
an eye out for the Perseids meteor
shower.
8.0 Sword, Musket & Machine Gun:
Britain’s Armed History (T) (R)
Sam Willis charts the impact
of gunpowder in warfare.
9.0 Andrew Marr’s The Making of
Modern Britain (T) (R) A look
at the tensions caused by the
suffragettes, the liberation of
Ireland and the start of the
first world war.

10.0 News (T)
10.30 Local News (T)
10.40 Schofield’s South African
Adventure (T) (R) Phillip Schofield
takes part in a rhino conservation
project. Last in the series.
11.10 Lion Country: Night and Day
(T) (R) Last in the series.
12.10 Jackpot247 3.0 Tonight (R) 3.25
Nightscreen 5.05 The Jeremy
Kyle Show (T) (R)
10.0 How to Make Your Marriage Work
(T) Documentary in which five
married couples from the London
Borough of Brent reveal what
keeps them together.
11.05 24 Hours in A&E (T) (R)
12.05 One Born Every Minute (T) (R) 1.0
Delhi Cops (T) (R) 1.55 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA (T) (R)
2.45 The Supervet (T) (R) 3.40
Location, Location, Location (T)
(R) 4.35 Selling Houses (T) (R)
5.30 Shipping Wars UK (T) (R)
10.0 Make or Break? (T) Pressure
builds for the five couples.
11.05 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on
the Side (T)
12.0 Cricket on 5 (T) England v West
Indies. Highlights of the opening
day of the first Test in the three-
match series, which takes place
at Edgbaston. 1.0 SuperCasino
(T) 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (T) (R) 4.0 The Railways
That Built Britain (T) (R) 4.45
House Doctor (T) (R) 5.10 Divine
Designs (T) (R) Battle of the
Titans 5.35 Wildlife SOS (T) (R)
10.0 Wonders of the Universe
(T) (R) Last in the series.
11.0 Horizon: Solar Storms – The
Threat to Planet Earth (T) (R)
12.0 Gaga for Dada: The Original
Art Rebels (T) (R) 1.0 A History
of Art in Three Colours (T) (R)
2.0 Wonders of the Universe
(T) (R) 3.0 Sword, Musket &
Machine Gun (T) (R)

Unexpected 9.30 Tales Grant’s Hotel Secrets 4.0 (R) Paul Morley looks at First Test, Day One. 5.54 (R) 12.0 News 12.30 Journey 10.0 Comedy
of the Unexpected 10.0
National Trust: National
The West Wing 5.0 The
West Wing 6.0 Without a
Radio the changing nature of
art galleries. 10.15 BBC
Shipping Forecast. FM:
1.45 Bone Stories: Dodo
Book of the Week (4/5)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
Club Mark Steel’s in Town
10.30 Party (1/4) 11.0
Treasures 11.15 South Trace 7.0 CSI: Crime Scene Proms 2017: Prom 44. (4/5) 2.0 The Archers (R) 1.0 As World Service 5.20 And Now in Colour (5/6)
Bank Masterclasses: Investigation 8.0 Blue Michael Gordon: Big Space 2.15 Drama: Breaking Shipping Forecast 5.30 11.30 The Museum of
Peter Lord 11.30 Bloods 9.0 Riviera 10.0 Radio 1 Gestillte Sehnsucht; (BBC commission: world Up with Bradford, by News 5.43 Prayer for the Everything (1/6) 12.0
Auction 12.0 Auction Ballers 10.35 Insecure 97.6-99.8 MHz Geistliches Wiegenlied; premiere). Conductor Kamal Kaan. 3.0 Open Day 5.45 Farming Today The Gibson (4/6) 12.30
12.30 Discovering: 11.10 Last Week Tonight 6.33 Nick Grimshaw Wie Melodien zieht es mir; Rumon Gamba. David Country: Ballooning in 5.58 Tweet of the Day: Great Lives (8/9) 1.0
The Mamas & the with John Oliver 11.45 10.0 Clara Amfo 12.45 Immer leiser; Der Tod, Lang: Sunray (London Bristol (8) 3.27 Radio Guillemot Senses Bulldog Drummond (6/6)
Papas 1.0 Discovering: Riviera 12.45 Westworld Newsbeat 1.0 Scott Mills das ist die kühle Nacht; premiere). Julia Wolfe: 4 Appeal: Revitalise (R) 1.30 Who Was Bessie
Deborah Kerr 2.0 1.55 The Following 2.55 4.0 Dev 5.45 Newsbeat Von ewiger Liebe. Haydn: Big Beautiful Dark and 3.30 Open Book: Fredrik Radio 4 Extra Head? 2.0 Blood and
Watercolour Challenge The Brink 3.30 The Brink 6.0 Dev 7.0 Annie Mac 9.0 Arianna a Naxos. Jessye Scary (London premiere). Backman (R) 4.0 The Digital only Beauty (9/10) 2.15 Me,
2.30 Watercolour 4.05 The West Wing 5.0 Artist Takeover With… Norman (soprano), Dalton Philip Glass: Closing Film Programme 4.30 6.0 Bulldog Drummond My Selfie and I: Aimee
Challenge 3.0 Tales of the The West Wing 10.02 Residency: Logan Baldwin (piano), John from Glassworks. Louis Inside Science. With Adam (6/6) 6.30 Who Was Fuller’s Generation Game
Unexpected 3.30 Tales Sama 12.0 Residency: Harrington (viola). 2.0 Andriessen: Workers Rutherford and guests. Bessie Head? 7.0 In the (4/5) 2.30 Ethan Frome
of the Unexpected 4.0 TCM Jessy Lanza 1.0 Toddla T Afternoon on 3: Prom 39 Union. BBC Proms Youth 5.0 PM 5.57 Weather 6.0 Balance (5/6) 7.30 Mark (4/5) 2.45 The Life and
National Trust: National 6.0am Hollywood’s Best 4.0 Adele Roberts (R) Debussy: Prélude à Ensemble, Bang on a News 6.30 Fresh from Steel’s in Town 8.0 Stop Adventures of William
Treasures 5.15 South Film Directors: Jay Roach l’après-midi d’un faune. Can All-Stars. 11.30 the Fringe 2017. James Messing About! (4/13) Cobbett (4/5) 3.0 Little
Bank Masterclasses: Nick 6.35 Kung Fu: Blood Radio 2 Ravel: Piano Concerto in Late Junction 12.30 Acaster showcases the 8.30 The Goon Show Dorrit (4/5) 4.0 Act Your
Hytner 5.30 Discovering: Brother 7.40 Kung Fu: 88-91 MHz G. Mark-Anthony Turnage: Through the Night (R) cream of the standup (2/26) 9.0 Act Your Age Age (6/6) 4.30 HR (6/6)
James Brown 6.0 An Eye for an Eye 8.45 6.30 Sara Cox 9.30 Hibiki. Inon Barnatan and character comedy (6/6) 9.30 HR (6/6) 10.0 5.0 In the Balance (5/6)
Discovering: Ingrid Mommie Dearest Trevor Nelson 12.0 (piano), Sally Matthews Radio 4 performance at this year’s Little Dorrit (4/5) 11.0 5.30 Mark Steel’s in Town
Bergman 7.0 Treasures (1981) 11.15  Jeremy Vine 2.0 Steve (soprano), Mihoko 92.4-94.6 MHz; 198kHz Edinburgh fringe. (1/2) Bloody Scotland (1/3)
of the British Library The Man Behind the Gun Wright 5.0 Amol Rajan Fujimura (mezzo), New 6.0 Today 9.0 Reflections. 7.0 The Archers. Freddie 11.15 The Journey 12.0 5 Live
8.0 Chaplin in Bali 9.0 (1953) 12.50 Kung Fu: 7.0 Bob Harris Country London Children’s Choir, Peter Hennessy talks to fails spectacularly. 7.15 Stop Messing About! 693, 909 kHz
How Chaplin Became the The Tide 1.55 Kung Fu: 8.0 Ana Matronic 10.0 Finchley Children’s Music William Hague. (2/4) 9.45 Front Row. Arts roundup. (4/13) 12.30 The Goon 6.0 Breakfast 10.0 5 Live
Tramp 10.0 Modern The Soul Is the Warrior The Arts Show 12.0 The Group, Kazushi Ono. First (LW) Daily Service 9.45 7.45 Life at Absolute Show (2/26) 1.0 Bulldog Daily With Emma Barnett
Times (1936) 11.40 3.0 The First Texan Craig Charles House Party broadcast on Monday. (FM) Book of the Week: Zero: In Cold (ish) Blood, Drummond (6/6) 1.30 1.0 Afternoon Edition
Monty Python’s Personal (1956) 4.40 Fort (R) 2.0 Playlists: Tracks 4.30 In Tune 6.30 BBC The Hungry Empire, by by Lynne Truss. (R) Who Was Bessie Head? 4.0 Drive 7.0 5 Live Sport
Best 1.0 Tales of the Worth (1951) 6.15 of My Years, Have A Great Proms 2017: Prom 43. Lizzie Collingham. (4/5) (8/10) 8.0 The Briefing 2.0 Blood and Beauty 10.0 Adrian Goldberg 1.0
Unexpected 1.30 Tales The Forty-Niners Weekend & Feelgood Manuel de Falla: El amor 10.0 Woman’s Hour Room. Current affairs (9/10) 2.15 Me, My Up All Night 5.0 Morning
of the Unexpected 2.0 (1954) 7.40 The Friday 5.0 Penny Smith brujo. Édouard Lalo: 10.45 Life at Absolute documentary. 8.30 In Selfie and I: Aimee Reports 5.15 Wake Up
Watercolour Challenge Longhorn (1951) 9.0 Symphonie espagnole, Op Zero: Mrs Manville Business: The Secrets Fuller’s Generation Game to Money
2.30 Watercolour True Romance Radio 3 21. c 8.30pm: Interval. Disposes, by Lynne Truss. of Germany’s Success. (4/5) 2.30 Ethan Frome
Challenge 3.0 How (1993) 11.25  90.2-92.4 MHz Clemency Burton-Hill (R) (7/10) 11.0 Crossing With Caroline Bayley. (4/5) 2.45 The Life and 6 Music
Chaplin Became the Until Death (2007) 1.30 6.30 Breakfast 9.0 talks to Clair Rowden and Continents: A Land (3/9) 9.0 Inside Science Adventures of William Digital only
Tramp 4.0 Entity 5.05 Conspiracy Theory: 9/11 Essential Classics. Author Richard Langham Smith Forgotten. Tim Whewell (R) 9.30 Reflections (R) Cobbett (4/5) 3.0 Little 7.0 Shaun Keaveny
Auction 5.35 Auction 2.30 Conspiracy Theory: Ben Okri chooses more about the music of Saint- travels to Abkhazia. 11.30 9.45 (LW joins at 9.45) Dorrit (4/5) 4.0 Act 10.0 Lauren Laverne
HAARP 3.25 Hollywood’s favourite music. 11.0 Saëns. c 8.50pm Saint- Natalie Haynes Stands Up 10.0 The World Tonight Your Age (6/6) 4.30 HR 1.0 Mark Radcliffe and
Sky Atlantic Best Film Directors: Edinburgh International Saëns: Symphony No 3 in for the Classics: Lucian 10.45 Book at Bedtime: (6/6) 5.0 In the Balance Stuart Maconie 4.0
6.0am Richard E Grant’s Paul Greengrass 3.55 Festival 2017. Baritone C minor, Organ. Stephanie (3/4) 12.0 News 12.01 Midwinter Break, by (5/6) 5.30 Mark Steel’s Steve Lamacq 6.0 Steve
Hotel Secrets 7.0 Richard Hollywood’s Best Film Benjamin Appl and pianist d’Oustrac (mezzo), Joshua (LW) Shipping Forecast Bernard MacLaverty. in Town 6.0 The Gibson Lamacq’s Roundtable
E Grant’s Hotel Secrets Directors: Terry Gilliam Pavel Kolesnikov perform Bell (violin), Cameron 12.04 Home Front: 17 (3/9) 11.0 Fresh from the (4/6) 6.30 Great Lives 7.0 Marc Riley 9.0 Jon
8.0 The Guest Wing 9.0 4.25 Hollywood’s Best a selection of lieder by Carpenter (organ), Royal August 1917 – Adeline Fringe 2017. Rising star (8/9) 7.0 Stop Messing Hillcock 12.0 6 Music
The Guest Wing 10.0 Film Directors: Frank Schubert, Schumann and Philharmonic Orchestra, Lumley, by Katie Hims. Kiri Pritchard-McLean About! (4/13) 7.30 The Recommends 1.0 The
The West Wing 11.0 The Darabont 5.0 Hollywood’s Grieg, plus a new work by Charles Dutoit. 9.0 New (14/40) 12.15 You and presents the second Goon Show (2/26) 8.0 Elvis Presley Story (3/13)
West Wing 12.0 Without Best Film Directors: Matthias Pintscher, live Generation Artists. Yours 12.57 Weather 1.0 of two programmes Bulldog Drummond 2.0 Classic Scottish
a Trace 1.0 CSI: Crime Wolfgang Petersen 5.30 from Edinburgh. 1.0 News Recent performances. The World at One LW: showcasing the best of the (6/6) 8.30 Who Was Albums (4/4) 2.30
Scene Investigation 2.0 Hollywood’s Best Film 1.02 Lunchtime Concert: 9.30 Step Inside: A 21st- 1.25 Test Match Special: fringe. (2/2) 11.30 The Bessie Head? 9.0 Bloody Live Hour 3.30 Jukebox
Blue Bloods 3.0 Richard E Directors: Stephen Frears Edinburgh 70. Brahms: Century Gallery Guide England v West Indies – Digital Human: Silence Scotland (1/3) 9.15 The 5.0 Chris Hawkins

17.08.17 The Guardian 19

 On the web
Puzzles For tips and all manner of
crossword debates, go to
theguardian.com/crosswords

Quick crossword no 14,751 Sudoku no 3,829

Across 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
1
8
Food fish (7)
Former (3-4) 8 5 7 8
9 Violent wind storm (7)
10
11
Separate (5,2)
The Merry Widow
9
6 3 2 4
10
composer (5)
13
15
Pointer (9)
Italian starter (9)
11 12
4 8
18 Child, colloquially (5)
21 Bubble raised on the skin
(7)
13 14
2 9 3 6
22
23
Gourmet (7)
Achieve one’s ambitions 15 16 17
9 6 3 2
(7)
24 Propose (7) 18 19 20
4
Down 21

Want more? Access over 4,000 archive puzzles at theguardian.com/crossword. Buy all four Guardian quick crosswords books for only £20 inc UK p&p (save £7.96). Visit guardianbooks.co.uk or call 0330 333 6846.
1 Monopoly token (5)
2 Coniferous tree with 22
1 2
green needles (5)
3 Author of books for
children, d. 1943 (7,6)
23
5 4 9
4 What a pity! (3,3) 24
5 Road-rail intersection
(5,8)
3 7 2
17 Scraps — fragments (6) Solution no 14,750
6 Strikers’ blockade (6)
19 Wake up (5) L ANDS CAP E C M Hard. Fill the grid so that each row, column and Solution to no 3,828
7 Farm machine (possibly
20 Invited person (5) V O A U CL EO 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9. Printable
grim?) (6) WI L L I NGL Y I M version at theguardian.com/sudoku
5 6 7 2 8 1 4 9 3
12 The Emerald Isle, in D E I L PE L E 8 3 9 4 7 6 5 2 1
poetry (4) Stuck? For help call 0906 200 83 83 or text C P U NWE D N N 1 4 2 9 3 5 8 7 6
14 Greek aniseed-flavoured GUARDIANQ followed by a space, the day OT I OSE TUTTUT 9 8 6 7 1 2 3 5 4
and date the crossword appeared followed R T E C E A
spirit (4) by another space and the CLUE reference
RUC KUS CHOL E R 4 5 1 3 6 9 7 8 2
15 Assuming the most (e.g GUARDIANQ Wednesday24 Down20)
to 88010. Calls cost £1.10 per minute, plus E H PAL LY E Y 2 7 3 5 4 8 6 1 9
favourable conditions your phone company’s access charge. Texts CUF F R O J H 3 2 5 8 9 4 1 6 7
T O CONC LUDED Stuck? For help call 0906 200 83 83. Calls cost
(2,4) cost £1 per clue plus standard network
£1.10 per minute, plus your phone company’s access 6 9 4 1 5 7 2 3 8
charges. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0330 EURO N H R L
16 Spasmodic muscle 333 6946 for customer service (charged at D K AGREEABL E charge. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0330 333 6946 7 1 8 6 2 3 9 4 5
contraction (6) standard rate). for customer service (charged at standard rate).
Doonesbury classic
Garry Trudeau
Steve Bell
If...

20 The Guardian 17.08.17