Endaya 1

Kali Endaya

Ms. Jizi

UWRT 1103

1 January 2018

The Divorce

There’s a lot I could write about for this assignment honestly. There is a countless

number of events that have impacted my life significantly. This specific event contributed a lot to

who I am today. The divorce of my parents constructed the person that I am now. Divorce isn’t

always a bad thing. There are pros and cons that come along with a divorce. The marriage

between my parents was a continuous rollercoaster. Growing up in this environment caused me

to mature much faster than most. Living in a household of seven people was not always easy. I

had an older brother and three younger siblings at the time. My older brother was at that age of

constantly being out with friends and staying the night at someone else’s house. So, with him not

being home I was the oldest of the kids at the house, causing me to have a lot of responsibility at

a young age. My parents separated the year the fifth and youngest child was born,2005. In this

same year my dad made a mistake that changed my family forever.

My dad cheated on my mom. This single action caused a chain of events to impact the

rest of the family permanently. My mom being a strong and God-fearing woman she is, forgave

my father for his appalling action. They tried working things out for six years. Those six years

impacted me more than I can describe. I grew a different mindset than my peers. I became more

humble and attentive of the “adult life”. I learned from my parents’ struggle a better

understanding of life. I respect my mother, a single mother that raised 5 children on her own. I

saw true love a love that would endure the awful presence of a man just so her children could
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have a father. Seeing the pain my mom went through caused a hatred to grow in my heart for my

father. Watching the hardship my mother was going through enabled a sense of responsibility in

me. I understood my mother was having a difficult time in life, so I did my best to do as much as

I could to take some of the stress off of her shoulders. I tried making sure my siblings were in

check. I watched to make sure they weren’t acting up, made sure they did their chores and

occasionally would feed and watch over them when my mom was at work. My dad was in and

out of the house for those six years, also meaning in and out of our lives. The thing that did stay

consistent were the arguments. I heard and witnessed the fights first hand. Thankfully my

siblings were able to sleep through the majority of them. Seeing your mother cry affects a person

immensely. I eventually stopped talking to my father which my mother was not happy about,

because they were trying to fix things and my actions were only driving my father away.

I unlike most children wanted my parents to get a divorce. I love my father and I love my

mother with all of my heart, but I do not love them together. After a long time of watching trial

and error I personally went to my mother after one of their arguments and asked my mother to

get a divorce. Not pleased with my request my mom denied it, determined to make things work.

Ultimately after years of trying my parents got officially divorced in 2011. This wasn’t easy but

lifted a great negative energy off the family. I grew a stronger relationship with my father, saw a

better understanding of his side of the issues in the marriage. The hatred I had in my heart for

him vanished. I saw positive things for both my dad and mom to gain from the divorce. I was

happy for my family to start a new chapter in our lives. I believed God had something better

instore for us. I was right, from that divorce I was lucky enough to gain three more siblings and

another father figure in my life. My mom got remarried and I got two step brothers and a half-

sister from the new marriage.

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The divorce impacted all of us, and still affecting us to this day. I learned how to handle

more responsibilities from this event. I learned how to not rely on my parents for everything. I

got a job and managed my own money. I also got through school without having to rebel against

my parents, like most teens. I obeyed my mother and father and grew a great respect for them

both. I matured quickly so I was capable of taking care of myself, so my mother wouldn’t have

to worry about me. I didn’t let my home life affect my work ethics or grades negatively. I used it

to motivate me to do better out of respect for my mother. I do not regret this event that happened

in my life. I am happy it happened because it made me the strong independent woman I am

today.