Through the

Darkness

One Transsexual’s Journey to

Personal Happiness

Kath Campbell
[1]
 Through the Darkness
© 2015-2018 Kath Campbell.
All Rights reserved
New material added January/1/18/

Unless otherwise noted names may have been changed in order to

protect the privacy of individuals. The internet links and charts as well
the reflected views of respective parties contained herein do not express
or reflect the entirety of views of the author. The author is not being
compensated by said parties in order to display their respective
organizations.
This publication may contain copyrighted material the use of
which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright
owner. I am making such material available in an effort to advance
understanding of environmental, political, human rights, religious,
economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. we
believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as
provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance
with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material in this publication is
distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest
in receiving the included information for research and educational
purposes. For more information go
to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any
retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, exception being
material that is public domain, without prior written permission of the
copyright holder.
Written in plain American English for those ages 14 and up. There
may be a few Celtic words here and there. This book contains foul
language, poor grammar, unedited, unpasteurized graphic depictions of
truth as well a lot of other shit most people are just not equipped to
handle.
Caution: depictions of rape, physical violence, and
emotion abuse.

[2]
 “There are those who would torture and kill me
if they knew they could get away with it. Their
reason for committing such unspeakable acts is
quite simple, it’s because I exist.”
Kath Campbell 6/16

[3]
From the author
My name is Kathryn and on a medical and clinical level, I
am a Transsexual woman. Regardless of surgical status, your
hospital records will have a note attached reading born ( male or
female) in this setting I am still a Transsexual woman. In the
mid nineteen nineties, after an extensive psychological
evaluation, I was diagnosed with gender identity disorder. On the
Franklin scale Type 6: True Transsexual High-Intensity.
Before I continue, I would like to clarify the use of the term
Gender Dysphoria. "It should be noted that the term Gender
Identity Disorder as so noted in the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) doesn't qualify Gender
Dysphoria as a state of emotional distress caused by how the
gender someone was designated at birth conflicts with the gender
identity as a mental disorder. This condition only affects some
Transsexual individuals. The DSM Medical diagnosis of
Transsexual was changed to Gender Dysphoria in twenty thirteen
by the American Psychiatric Association. This was done in order
to remove the stigma, disorder, attached to Gender identity
thereby establishing the fact that Gender Dysphoria is a treatable
condition, not a permanent disorder. However, if left untreated it
can lead to suicide, depression and a host of other problems.
It is clearly understandable that a stigma is attached to the
word disorder, as being a mental disorder. Society assumes a
mental disorder to be a permanent mental illness when in fact it
is not. Gender Dysphoria is a treatable disorder, not a mental
illness and there is a difference."
Also of interest
https://www.theravive.com/therapedia/Gender-Dysphoria-
DSM--5-302.85-(F64.9)

[4]
The Transgender/Transsexual help center through out
and at the back of the book
The help center provides links to validated resources regarding
the Transsexual/Transgender m individuals and the general
public. Some of the issues I address by publishing links
The Sexual Reassignment Surgery
The facts debunking the lies about Post-OP regret pg.165
Gender Equality Map-very important tool
Tran’s health care, hospital care, nursing homes,
Medicare and Medicaid
Transition health care and hormones
Open enrollment health care for the Trans individual
Inclusion in health care
HRC inclusion benefits for employees and dependents.
Trans law center.
Trans rights, the ACLU
Trans Civil Rights by state.
Tran’s human rights by state.
The Tran’s voter
APA online
Know your rights
Inclusive states
States permitting legal Birth Certificate changes, first and
middle name, last name, gender marker and driver license name
and gender marker changes.
Links to state requirements if applicable and legal petitions
including name change. In the latter of the book there are several
pages of legal documents I authored with regards to protecting
your identity in death.
This entails legally appointing someone who will, sign your
death certificate, sign vital statistics documents, permits for
burial and or cremations. This individual or individuals should
be trustworthy, I suggest an attorney, to respect your final wishes
regardless of what family wants.

[5]
 There are more links throughout the book. I have included
advice on legal Healthcare Directives.
Legally appointing someone to identify your body and
gender upon death. There is so much more do sit down and
actually read the book cover to cover.

Why the book, why now?

I never intended to discuss my gender identity let alone full
transition. Through the Darkness was born out of disgust and
disappointment, after being pressed into my own disclosure last
year I felt I could no longer remain silent.
The disinformation and blatant lies being parroted and
perpetuated by the public on the net and publically by the
religious and political nutters with regard to Transsexualism had
become a source of daily disgust. After witnessing a now former
friend post a picture of a dog with the words Jenner's cat written
on it I could only think of the abuse I endured decades ago as per
result of my gender identity.
My full transition from Male to Female was perhaps the
most difficult and terrifying time of my life thus far.
I have written and shared facts herein based on my own
experiences as well acquired validated truths shared with me by
professionals in the various fields of Gender Studies.
I have hopes of educating and enlightening others.
I also intend to expose those who continually make false
claims as to being Transsexual and the fear mongering liars who
call themselves Christians.
Terminology may have changed since nineteen ninety-five
but truth, the basic science, and fact have not.
You will note the term Transsexual and Transgender as they
are used repeatedly in many of these articles. I will also explain
how the term Transsexual exclusively represents and is definitive
of the the Transsexual and not the Transgender individual.

[6]
 I will also be explaining why and how the term Transgender
has blurred the lines defining Transsexuals by adopting the all-
inclusive term Transgender.
More than a few Transsexuals’ pre, non, and post-op feel as I
do about the term Transgender. For the record even though the
term Transgender was created before my birth I find it offensive.
This publication has been written in an easy read format for
everyone including those who are seeking to understand the
issues and definitions. I have provided professional links to
enable the readers’ pursuit of further information.
I can only hope the knowledge I share will be understood for
its truth, from my experiences, valid science, and the depths of
my soul. Let me also say that many of the articles you are aboot
to read in Through the Darkness were very painful for me to
relive, most I authored through tears.
One important note is that during this publication I intend to
list, explain protocols and mandates having to do with my
Transition. Nevertheless, I have also chosen not to include every
detail as I feel this would enable those who are not Transsexual
to appear more authentic.

Perhaps not the most hurtful and vile question I have

ever been asked but it’s up there with after they cut it off did
they give it to you too bring home in a jar. .
I have had my share of vulgar and insensitive questions. One
that hurt the most was my little brother who had not seen me in
decades only to then meet me now while he was a first time
guest of the state for some repugnant things he had gotten up to
while living in the big city. He complimented me on how I look
and said wow they did a good job and I would not have known
you if I feel over you. In the next breath, he asked if I had been
‘broken in’ yet. I knew what he meant and it's disgusting to ask
anyone this let alone your sister. Knowing his mind is often five
beers short of a six pack it still hurt.

[7]
Did I transition just to have sex?
No, and the question is offensive.

The Anti- Trans activist and their baseless opinions.

These are the types of things the Anti-Trans base throws at
people hoping they do not know the facts. Here are but a few of
the accomplices.
The Walter Heyer argument about surgery
Much of the following is rubbish that comes from
conservative blogs and Anti LGBT news sites.
Heyer is an Anti-LGBT activist
.http://www.gospelherald.com/articles/55972/20150609/fo
rmer-transgender-walt-heyer-to-bruce-jenner-my-sex-
change-surgery-fixed-nothing.htm
http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2015/06/04/have_yo
u_heard_the_story_of_walt_heyer
http://www.breitbart.com/big-
government/2015/06/03/repentant-transsexual-warns-jenner-
the-hangover-is-coming/
Salon is not a well known conservative news site they tend
to be balanced unlike network news. Nevertheless, Salon does
point out his transphobic rhetoric.
http://www.salon.com/2015/06/03/caitlyn_jenner_shouldn
t_worry_about_transition_regrets_why_walt_heyers_transp
hobic_comments_are_a_bigger_challenge/

Another name being thrown about by the bigots

The McHugh Opinion
Doctor Mc Hugh and his opinions of the Transsexual.
The doctors opinions are an old argument being used by
bigots and unqualified half-wits to provoke responses from their
online opponents.
The agent provocateur of the Mc Hugh opinion generally has
no reply when confronted with valid scientific fact.

[8]
 He or she would need to actually get aff their arse and study
gender dysphoria in order to understand the facts and set aside
the opinions.
Nevertheless, after taking the time to do they still could not
present a valid contention because McHugh’s opinion is just an
opinion. McHugh conveniently leaves out the science that
deflates his opinion render it just that an opinion. Should anyone
have questions regarding his opinions please see the links below
before proclaiming the doctors opinions to be established and
recognized by all facts.
Below is an article on McHugh and his opinions.
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/johns-
hopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex-change

The McHugh opinion falls apart.

http://www.transadvocate.com/clinging-to-a-dangerous-past-
dr-paul-mchughs-selective-reading-of-transgender-medical-
literature_n_13842.htm

Petition Hopkins to Address False LGBT Reports

(Deadline 9/30/16)
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf02pElovrEp2
XQUrOxxIxQV7gVvrjctMjZG9EaFwzXR4k32Q/viewform?c=0
&w=1\

October 6th 2016

Johns Hopkins speaks out regarding Heyer
and Mc Hugh
http://www.hrc.org/blog/johns-hopkins-community-calls-
for-disavowal-of-misleading-anti-lgbtq-report

[9]
Director of Advocacy, SPARTA
Let’s establish who and what Dr. McHugh is. Dr. Paul
McHugh is an ultra-Conservative Catholic who blames gays for
the church’s sexual abuse scandal, believes sexual orientation is
a choice and would rather let an 11-year-old girl raped by a
relative die rather than have an abortion. He was part of the
campaign that led to the murder of abortion provider Dr. George
Tiller in 2009.
When he was put in charge of the gender clinic Johns
Hopkins in the 1975, by his own admission he intended from
beginning to close it. The “study” he did was designed from the
start to facilitate his goal.
The study itself was pure nonsense, full of non-reproducible
results, punishing patients for having jobs that were “too
masculine,” or having been married to a woman at some point in
their lives. McHugh has made it clear he finds cultural
acceptance of transgender people unacceptable.
As a result, no reputable researcher will cite his “study,” and
was not considered credible by any professional medical or
mental health organization when developing guidelines for the
treatment of transgender individuals.
The McHugh opinion falls apart yet again.
https://thinkprogress.org/about-that-not-born-this-way-study-
b3e07d0354f5#.oxdcqeyo4
https://thinkprogress.org/about-that-not-born-this-way-study-
b3e07d0354f5#.nisgy1n7g
**********************************************
Now for some scientific facts.
Transphobia-the Psychology
https://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/htt
ps://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/

[10]
The next time someone says Transsexual brains are like
everyone elses.
The MTF, FTM Transgender/Transsexual mind
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-there-something-
unique-about-the-transgender-brain/

When someone runs the DNA argument by you.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7689007.stm

Is Transgender a mental illness?

https://genderanalysis.net/2017/08/being-transgender-is-a-
mental-illness-what-does-the-dsm-really-say/

What does Transgender mean?

http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx

Sex isn’t chromosomes: the story of a century of

misconceptions about X & Y
http://www.newstatesman.com/future-proof/2015/02/sex-
isn-t-chromosomes-story-century-misconceptions-about-x-y

Evangelically owned right wing Politicians are

ever present and threat to equality.
https://www.rawstory.com/2016/04/gop-cosponsor-of-anti-trans-
bathroom-bill-is-a-danger-to-unsuspecting-women-probe-finds/

[11]
When did I know?
I knew I was female by age seven. The underlying reasons
why I did not seek help; or express my true self-was not knowing
who to speak with as I felt uncertain about telling my parents
Another was the knowledge realised by a seven-year-old that
nineteen-fifties societies outlook upon people struggling with
such issues like mine had little recourse.
I knew there was no one to help me understand why I had
these feelings and resigned myself to this by the time I was nine
years old.
A doubt never crossed my mind over all the decades as to my
gender
What continually chinked at my armor was personal denial
and keeping the truth locked away deep inside my being.

How my journey to personal happiness began

and finished.
The brief dime tour-Transition-Surgery
Based on my personal exp. The first thing you need to do is find
a clinic and therapist to evaluate you. I went to Persad center in
Pittsburgh, Pa in the mid nineties. At that time we were asked to
keep Persads location secret over fears of firebombings.
If you live outside of Pa they may be able to refer you to a
therapist or clinic in your area.
.https://persadcenter.org/
Their website offers a wealth of information including links
to vital resources such as the ACLU, Lambda Legal, and a link
for the elderly Transsexual/Transgender individual.
I passed evaluation without stumbling blocks and began
what some call deep therapy. It would be three years of intensive
deep therapy. I emptied my metaphorical suitcases, as did we all,
containing every bit of my entire life up and until that point.

[12]
 Then one at a time each piece of your life is examined and
discussed. During this time I sorted the good from the bad and
threw many a worthless suit case out a window. It’s not an easy
undertaking and anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

The third month

I was asked why I had not changed my legal name yet
afterwhich I filed the legal documents to do so. Mind you at that
time states were not all that easy on changing names because of
gender identity. A N.J. Court denied a college professor a name
change simply because the judge felt the name was female and
did not belief the woman standing in front of him was a woman.
Eventually the case was won and the documents changed. I
discuss my document changes and how later in the book.

The six month marker was extremely important to me as I

would be given my HRT letter to begin hormone therapy but
only if the therapist and Phd in charge signed off and that they
did.
Directly thereafter I found and Endocrinologist who would
monitor both my hormones and hormone-suppressors. I was
required to do this in order to protect my life as there may be
issues discovered through blood work and the doctor would need
to make adjustments to medications. I never had an issue due to
hormones or suppressors. My therapist asked me if I wanted to
turn back as now was the time to do so and I looked him in the
eye and said this is who I am and have always been let’s
comtinue.

By the eighth month, I had assimilated with the public to a

degree.
My body had also begun to change things such as weight
distribution, and skin softening were as expected the breast
growth took some adjusting too.

[13]
 With make-up, hair, clothing, deportment I did have a wee
bit of help from a neighbor who was a model in the 80s.
Everything appeared to come naturally to me. If it makes any
difference I am a conservative dresser.

In the nineth month I was been beaten unconcious by a group

of local men who told me that Jesus don’t like faggots. I am not
gay and the fact that they did not know the difference between
Homosexual and Transsexual did not surprise me. This was not
my last beating another would follow in the future that nearly
cost me my life. I spent a great deal of time discussing this with
my therapist. I thought it may be a stopping point but it only
made me more determined to live my truth.

The one-year marker. I was still throwing the occasional

empty emotional suitcase out of a window. I was having
difficulty coping with all the hate, violence and bigotry I was
subject to on a daily basis. It made life nearly unbearable.
I know there is a solution to everything and I was hard-
pressed to find it. Short of making better people in the world I
was against the wall and would sit for hours crying. It really got
at me and to a point, I feared going to the local mom and pop
store not far from my home. When I did go it was often I had
rocks, bottles, cans and even dirt thrown at me. It's been said to
me that I was the problem and my response was no their bigoted
hate is the problem, their mental illness is the problem and I
don’t have to take it. I decided to fight back so I bought a 9mm
pistol, years later it was sold, and filed for a carry permit which I
was granted.
Sadly, “there are those who would torture and kill me if they
knew they could get away with it. Their reason for committing
such unspeakable acts is quite simple, it’s because I exist.”

[14]
End of the second year. I had been speaking off and on with
my neighbor and we had gradually become friends. She would
come for dinner with us now and then we would laugh at each
other's dirty jokes. She brought a bag of weed over once and we
got so fucked up all we did was laugh at everything. Laughter
was something that had become a lost commodity in my life. It
felt so good to laugh with a friend. Odd that I felt so much
happiness in who I truly am and never laughing.
My daughter had accepted me from the start but rarely
visited because of her geographical location on the globe. She
was all business and I am guessing her somewhat austere manner
was due to her own frustration over how I was being treated and
my location in what she called a country slum.
I was financially embarrassed and this caused me a degree of
stress. Adding the abuse and lack of finances together, cutting
my meds in halves and dealing with red-neck thugs it was a
wonder I just didn’t snuff it.
You know what? I never once thought of doing so. I pressed
on saying that my truth is far greater than their psychotic Gods
lies.

Second-year eight months. I was raped and beaten badly by a

few of the local churchgoers. They told me they were going to
put the love of Jesus in me as they took turns. I had been
working in the small city nearby and had not been taking my
firearm due to my right arm being bundled in a plastic cast due
to an assault a short time before this event. It was dark when I
arrived home and I parked my car in the garage. I stepped out of
the car and that is the last thing I recall until I woke up in the
woods up the hill from my home.
When they were done they urinated on me and just left me
there like trash. Half conscious I crawled through the woods on
my stomach until reaching the hillside.

[15]
 I crawled down and over the rocks that made up the road to
my home. It felt like forever, I know now I would stop and fade
out of consciousness for a few mins then move again. I managed
to pull myself up the stoop to my front door and put the key in at
which point the door opened and I just feel inside the door on
the carpet.
I was caring for a family member who was high functioning
autistic. She had gone to stay with the neighbor while I was at
work. Needless to say when I had not come to get her she
became upset. My neighbor went looking for and found me
laying inside the door of my home door wide open.
I didn’t go to the hospital as I had been denied care there, I
had no doctor and the police were not known to be friendly when
it came to Transsexuals. My friend helped me patch myself up,
once the bleeding from the area they had penetrated had stropped
all that was left were cuts and bruises. I called off work for three
days while I mended.
When I returned my boss pressed me about two black eyes,
cuts and bruises on my arms and neck but I refused to discuss
them. Had she seen the rest of my body she may had fainted. It
took me weeks to completely heal physically but to this day I
still live with the horrible memory.

Three years one month.

I found my happiness and will forever
stand in my truth.

That’s the dime tour folks.

[16]
Gender Re-Assignment
The Surgical procedure
Firstly I had my surgery twenty two years ago. The penis is
not (as many have put it, chopped off during the surgery) thirdly
ones genital does not define ones sex ones mind does. Surgery or
not the MTF and FTM transsexual are of the gender they say
they are.
The MTF sexual reassignment surgery animation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSNXcjvG2HA
You will need to sign in to verify your age before
watching the video of the actual surgery below
https://youtu.be/Y1vKT4JEcDc
Science
Gender analysis 14, chromosomes; cis expectations vs Trans
reality.
http://genderanalysis.net/2015/12/chromosomes-cis-
expectations-vs-trans-reality-gender-analysis-14/
https://youtu.be/0frx7wsWibQ

[17]
Surgery or not
Perhaps the major issue having to do with GRS is do you
seek the surgery or not, many do not while others do not.
Let me explain .
My primary issue was financial.
There are also risks involved with surgery. You may die
being one.
There were strict requirements for surgery, a certain BMI
index had to be met as well other physical aspects. Something
like an irregular heart beats may disqualify you.
I knew a woman who underwent GRS in ninety-six and had
terrible complications. The surgeon botched the surgery and she
had horrible complications.

To think Americas back ass logic that some states, we the

people, will pay for a prisoner’s transition and surgery in the
name of humane treatment.
Law-abiding American citizens, taxpayers, often denied the
cost by medical insurance companies, and transsexual citizens
who are not incarcerated are also picking up the tab for the
jailbirds. Does this sound like some upside down Alice in
dunderland delusional reality?
From what I understand, Medicare used to pay half the
surgery cost providing you had GRS in the US. I may be wrong
but from what I understand Medicare no longer provides this
service.
Medicare and others in the insurance community are
undergoing major changes in this year twenty fifteen, time will
tell.
The US Congressional and Senatorial’ positions on these
matters are yet another de-funked duck.

[18]
Why have sex change operation?
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/cleftlip.html
Imagine being seven years old and standing in front of the
mirror to see a little boy’s body and knowing you are not a little
boy. In years to come I often stood screaming inside, while
shaving or dressing.
I need to hide this until I understand and painfully I did hide
my gender identity.
Now if you consider my dilemma by placing yourself in my
shoes for a moment indeed it will be an ‘outside looking in’ view
of how terrifying this was to me as a seven-year-old child.
Being aware of this at seven, also talking to dead people was
only the beginning of a torment that lasted for decades.
I was bullied daily for years; I tried to end my own life
several times.
I felt unworthy of love, unworthy of friendship, I saw myself
as a freak that had no place in society.
People were more than happy to torment me, after all, I was
a freak, and it is not as if I were human or anything.
I was treated as such by kids at school and in the
neighbourhood; no matter where I lived it was always more of
the same the beatings.
The public intimidation, the fear of leaving the house as I
knew if they should see me I would be psychically beaten.
Decades later being reintroduced to someone I knew when I
began doing studio work became a blessing. At this time, I felt I
could no longer live.
I had taken care of all my personal debts and business years
earlier, and I was looking for someone trustworthy to take care
of my family roommate.
Unbeknownst to anyone at that time I was going to kill
myself and I had a foolproof plan to accomplish the deed.

[19]
 I had finally reached the point where living day to day had
become far too painful for me both physically and emotionally.
Why did I seek Gender Reassignment? Because I was living
a lie, I was suffering inside with a female brain in a male body,
and it was tearing me apart.
I know there are some who felt I should have honoured my
family by taking my own life rather than shaming them.
I took the advice of someone from the past that I trusted and
called the phone number he had given me. I underwent a
personal transition from living the lie of pretending to be a man
into the light of personal truth that I am and have always been a
woman.
The question itself is offensive and it’s based on morbid
curiosity. People have also used this question as a means to goad
me into an argument; I have no time for such nonsense.
The truth of it all is my sex life is no ones’ business but my
own.
What I did was correct a birth defect.

Useful information regarding GRS regret.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/262734734_An_A
nalysis_of_All_Applications_for_Sex_Reassignment_Surgery_i
n_Sweden_1960-2010_Prevalence_Incidence_and_Regrets
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274833229_Psych
osocial_outcome_and_quality_of_sexual_life_after_sex_reassign
ment_surgery_An_Italian_multicentric_study

Sex changes and hormones in the military

Have you heard about those sex changes they are doing in
the military, neither have I.
Do you know that these Transgender and Transsexuals are
joining up just to have their surgery?
Fact is that’s hogwash.

[20]
 The only GRS surgery I am aware of is that of Miss.
Manning. I am pissed off that a convicted felon was given a
surgery that my tax dollars paid for when there are other
Transsexual troops who will be paying for their own.
The fact is the military does not perform elective surgeries
such as breast implants, facelifts, tummy tucks and sexual
reassignment.
This being said trans people are not signing up just to have
the surgery nor are they there for the sole purpose of the surgery.
Social experiment you say, well no Transgender individuals
serving in the military are not an experiment. The served
alongside every other soldier, no special treatment and they are
ready to deploy and are deployed in combat areas as I speak. It
should be noted that the majority of military jobs are in tech not
in theatre. My only question is where and when did you serve?
And if not why are you not enlisting? Bitching about
Transsexual/ Transgender troops who put their lives on the line
for you does make them look bad it makes you Un-American.
Hormones are taken by all women at some point in their
lives as well a few men. They are cheap you can buy 30 tab
bottle of Premarin in NZ for about 5 dollars and the US military
gets them in mass quantities for far less than that. In the
American private sector, I was paying nearly two-hundred per
month in the nineties until my insurance began to cover it.
Today's prices for Premarin in the USA
https://www.drugs.com/price-guide/premarin

What Jesus said about Homosexuality

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/graceismessy/2016/08/02/do-you-
know-everything-jesus-said-about-homosexuality/

[21]
What Jesus said about Transsexuals.
Not one thing

Doesn’t Transsexual and Transgender mean

homosexual?
First look at the LGBTQ alphabet, the G stands for Gay.
Why would someone place a T in there if Trans meant
Gay?
They wouldn’t. Gay is about sexual orientation or who you
sleep with. Transsexual is about your sexual identity or
who you sleep as.

If a MTF Transsexual does not have GRS

are they still male or female?
Yes, those who forgo the GRS still identify and live in their
respective gender and rightfully so. This is also true for the
Female to Male Transsexual.
Knowing one's Gender and having established oneself in
said gender emotionally, socially, and legally speaks to the fact
they are who they claim to be.
Let’s look at the school of thought that gave birth to this
question. We are taught from a young age that there are two
genders one male and one female; gender has been defined by
one's sexual organs for thousands of years.
This form of identification is not only untrue it is
unscientific and illogical.
Considering one may be born ambiguous having both male
and female organs the proclamation that there are only two
genders is based less on science and more on long-held religious
traditions. Today’s science is innovative and thereby amended
by new discoveries by those in the medical profession

[22]
 However, should you add religion to science you find a bias
that overrules the science all in the name of myth.
Gender is defined by ones’ mind not what is located below
one's waist. Yet many not all doctors in the field of general
medicine and even a few specialists feel that God defined the
sexes as being male and female.
If you want to define a male and a female simply by their
physical appearance or what is below their waist how about this,
say a woman loses her internal reproductive organs to cancer is
she no longer a woman.
She knows in her mind she is female, she has no doubt, and
mind science will reaffirm her assertions.
What of a man who loses his testicles to cancer? Is he no
longer a man?
We all know that a man has a penis and two testicles
therefore when he no longer has them he is no longer a man,
shall we simply define him as a eunuch. We are centring gender
on physical appearance, this is archaic and preposterous.
Mind and physical gender are not a theory it is a fact that has
been proven scientifically all anyone needs to do is a bit of
research. Oh and dinnae gather information of this nature from
bloggers as they only state an opinion and often paint it as fact.

[23]
Gender Identity Disinformation
If you seek to separate the truth from the lies regarding this
topic read a book that defines and clarifies the differences
between Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation. If you are
reading this book, it is a good start.
Many of the propounded so called facts I have read online
concerning Gender Identity now amended as Gender Dysphoria
are not written by professionals in gender sciences or those like
me who completed the process. They are written by agenda
driven bigots and radicle Alt- Right Christians.
I do not profess to know all; I can say I know a hell of a lot
more than the unqualified fools portraying baseless opinions as
facts. There exist a surfeit of falsities, hearsay-filled with
inaccuracies, myths, and bias opinions weaved into Trumpian
alternative facts.
One issue I have is with the non-Transsexual’s identifying as
Transgender then claiming to be recognised as Transsexual.
If the individual is not in a recognised Gender Dysphoria,
program or has completed one they are being untruthful.
The pseudo and fetish transvestites claiming they are
Transsexuals by way of being Transgender is another bold lie.
The defining lines between Transgender and Transsexual
have become so blurred and are so purposely friggin obscured
today you need a goddam score card, day glow references, a lie
detector, and poorly made cheese sandwich by which to smell
the truth by comparison to the bull shite.
Many of those including in the transgender community do
not know the meaning of Transsexual. A lot them claim\ it’s
ancient meaningless fodder and this is not true. Read on and I
will tell you where the Transgender term came from, who coined
it and in what year.

[24]
 The Benjamin scale was but one tool used by doctors and
therapist in my initial evaluation and assessment as well
treatment program. The scale clearly defines the distinct
differences between Transvestites and True Transsexuals. The
Benjamin standards of care are also specific.
http://genderpsychology.org/transsexual/benjamin_gd.html

Updated Standards of care 2011

http://www.wpath.org/uploaded_files/140/files/Standards%2
0of%20Care%20V7%20-%202011%20WPATH.pdf

The rise of Transphobia, and the

Transgender/Transsexual, public restroom.
I was sort of hoping World Peace would be the source of
today's discussion in America, pathetic isn’t it.
Transsexual and Transgender individuals have been using
restrooms all over the world without incident for decades. There
is absolutely no evidence of a crime being committed by a
Tran’s person in a restroom. To the contrary, there exist
overwhelming documented evidence of the molestations and
rapes of Tran’s individuals in bathrooms and everywhere else for
that matter by cisgender individuals.
But why bother, people, politicians, and clergy with facts
their minds are already made up?
The recklessness of the fear-driven public is stifling what
insults me further is their willingness to fight to the death over an
imaginary issue. They so desperately want to invest themselves
into saving someone who is not in danger from a group of people
who has never placed anyone in danger in a bathroom. Sorta like
giving a dead man a flu shot!
Let us set aside locker rooms and showers for a moment as
the public focus appears to be on restrooms.

[25]
 With regards to such mob mentality replace the terms
transsexual and transgender with Jew, Negro, Mick, Jap, Chink,
and Indian as in American Indian..
Now pick a time period in American history and you will
find fear the same fostered hatred being fed to the public by the
wealthy.
This has always been done in order to distract the public
from the disgusting things they are doing. Thusly the wealthy
who own the media objectify and marginalise a group of people
while drawing attention away from them. Unlike today where
fascist and right wing Levitical terrorist boast of their inhumane
treatment of others as their public cheers them on.
We have sunken even lower as life forms as we have
disregarded compassion and protecting the suffering for youtube
ratings.
Today people who are being publically raped and beaten are
filmed by repugnant pieces of filth masquerading as human
beings. While the victim is bleeding and begging for help no one
does a thing to render aide they just keep on filming. Those
doing the videos are emotionally detached and deeply disturbed
by their selfishness and detachment from compassion and
empathy. The media which is a propaganda machine run by the
wealthy promote fear and paranoia with these acts.
Their ability to objectify any individual or group removes
the faces of those they vilify.

[26]
 The result of which is creating the illusion to the public that
a group of human beings are not human at all they are things and
a thing can be destroyed with little guilt.
While the media owned by old rich white men distracts and
misdirects the public. The media is responsible for leading the
propaganda band waggon, thus removing any suspicion of these
old fecks from the public eyes.
Permit me to render an application of this insidious practice.
If you think of it today we have sunken even lower as life
forms as we have replaced human compassion and empathy for
the suffering with egotistical scumbags who only care about their
youtube ratings.
These same people are pointing fingers at the Transsexual
and Transgender community.
The community has their issues but I do not know of one
Tran’s person regardless of how they feel about another who will
not step in and help someone who is in peril. There hateful men
and woman boasting on how they will shoot and kill a Tran’s
person in a restroom and as a matter of fact anywhere they so,
please.
To me, this is a preamble to full combat for when the
talking stops the curtain will open and all hell will break loose.
Bottom line Transphobia has reached epidemic proportions
in the United States, that’s a fecking joke United as we are
anything but United. Transphobia is as destructive and its
purpose is to create an environment where the phobic will not
have to face their psychological issues. In order to do this they
blame and torture what they see as the source of their phobia, the
Trans community, while in truth they are the source of their own
transphobic behaviour, their victims are merely to coin a book
title “whipping post”

[27]
 The second is education by way of valid scientific resources
that use plain speak while both educating and informing you and
at some point, you may realise that those you vilify are not
unlike yourself.
They are just people doing their best to get through the day
without confrontations. If you have given it one hundred percent
and you still find yourself to be phobic seek out a behavioural
therapist.
There is no shame in discussing your issues but there is
shame in victimising others because you are too much the
coward to deal your own. Transphobia remains one the major
causes of Tran’s suicide, abuse and murder in the United States.
I know what endless persecution feels like for you see I too
tried to commit suicide not once but three times before stepping
out of my denial and seeking the help of a psychiatrist.

Thus far in 2016 twenty-one Transgender people

had been murdered
http://www.advocate.com/transgender/2016/8/11/the
se-are-trans-people-killed-2016?related=1
Tran’s suicide
http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-
content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf
Phobias
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_phobias

Transphobia
http://civilliberty.about.com/od/gendersexuality/g/transp
hobia.htm

[28]
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transphobia
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/
Transphobia violence
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_against_LGBT_p
eople
Medical
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Phobias
Suggested reading
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whipping_Girl
https://www.amazon.com/Whipping-Girl-Transsexual-
Scapegoating-Femininity/dp/1580051545
Dan Massey
http://venusplusx.org/what-causes-terminal-transphobia/
https://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/

Gender Definitions important read.

http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm

The Transgender/Transsexual individual. Suicide and Cold

Blooded Murder. Study finds link between discrimination and
suicide attempts among transgender people
http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-01-link-discrimination-
suicide-transgender-people.html#nRlv
From the Williams Institute, I ask you to begin on page eight
as this has to do with Transgender individuals. I suggest you
actually read this and not skim through it. Lives are being lost
and these human beings may have been your neighbour, friend,
parent or family. Do not dismiss these facts because people are
dying and you or someone you know may be a part of the
problem now is an opportunity to view the facts and maybe
become part of the well informed compassionate solution.

[29]
 Each number represents a human life, each digit was a living
breathing person, and each person was someone’s loved one. It
breaks my heart that so many are dying, while my America has
become so discompassionate and hateful as it sinks into the
inconceivable colliery of nothingness.
http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-
content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf
More info
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unlawfully_killed_tran
sgender_people

Other than the Transsexual/Transgender community there

are few Americans who have deep compassion and empathy for
their fellow human beings without regard to politics, media
fodder, and religious extremist. The kind and wise believer’s of
humanity are quick to see through the propaganda and recognise
those who are holding kangaroo courts and convicting an entire
group of people without evidence of them ever committing a
crime.
These actions have the stench of tyranny and fascism that
mirror the treatments of individuals like Sir Walter Raleigh, and
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. Now the Transsexual and Transgender
community has been added to the list of those convicted without
ever having committed a crime. There was no hearing, no
presentation of evidence in defence and no due process. There
exist no mens rea. “actus reus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea.”
There exist no prima facia evidence, therefore, no evidence exist
by which to support a discussion, formation of a committee,
none the less submit a petition to the House submitting the
request for judiciary action in accordance with parliamentary
procedure. Read up on civics and learn about a Congressional
and Senatorial procedure.
“The act is not culpable unless the mind is guilty."
No prima facia evidence.

[30]
 Factually the Republican Party has usurped our government.
They are aided by the fear mongering clergy and the all too eager
media propaganda merchants. The Republican Party has made
the Evangelical Christian religion a part of our Government
illegally. This is forbidden by the constitution but people remain
ignorant of what is happening to their government and their
liberties. The mislead public at large researchers by watching
cable news, reading bias blogs written by attention whores, and
nit wit know nothings throwing lunatic fringe psychedelic logic
and myth in every direction with hopes of being noticed and
elevating their worthless scum sucking ego for a few hours.
They gather daily, in the minutes and hours of twilight all
and one of these provocateurs. Then resounding with one big
cocks platting bowl movement of bloody hate ringing oot as if
some psychotic fucking orchestra going blup blup from the
depths of shit stained crust that clings to their asses.

The Bathroom issue debunked

http://www.glaad.org/sites/default/files/Debunking_the_Bathroo
m_Bill_Myth_2016.pdf
http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx
http://mediamatters.org/research/2014/03/20/15-experts-debunk-
right-wing-transgender-bathro/198533
Answers to common questions asked about the
Transsexual/Transgender individuals.
http://www.hrc.org/resources/debunking-the-myths-transgender-
health-and-well-being
The Harry Benjamin society changed its name several
years ago to WPATH.
http://www.hrc.org/resources/world-professional-
association-for-transgender-health-wpath

[31]
Study finds link between discrimination and suicide
attempts among transgender people
http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-01-link-discrimination-
suicide-transgender-people.html#nRlv
For information on Gender Identity in children.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-
stages/gradeschool/Pages/Gender-Identity-and-Gender-
Confusion-In-Children.aspx
There are also other links at this site for those who seek
further answers for themselves and or children
If you are an adult or have a child that may be
struggling with Gender identity, please consult the contacts
below Call Persad at this number 1-888-873-7723 or go
to the link https://persadcenter.org/pages/transgender-services

Transsexual goals, yesterday and today.

I realise the many of what I had called goal post in the
past have all but vanished today.
I understand their removal enables the patient to
transition at their own pace.
I see the plus and the minus in these changes as I feel
goals are important as are time constraints. I also
understand the sometimes overwhelming duress these time
periods and goals of old may cause someone dealing with
Gender Dysphoria. Thus I am in agreement on one part as I
feel reasonable goals should be mandated simply to prevent
some from making a lifelong career out of transition and I
have met several that are doing just this. I am in
disagreement with replacing discipline and persistence with
an easy button. Once again I refer back to those who are
making a career of transition.

[32]
 My mum had a saying and it goes shit or get aff the
pot” this rings true when speaking of the career
Transsexual/ Transgender individuals.
My statements with regard to therapy are based in my
own experiences which had taken place in the nineteen
nineties.
I do not use today's common term Transgender as if it
offensive to me and I will explain my reasons as to why in
another article later in the book.

Gender and Sexual Orientation

Please note the term Transgender as being non specific or
more or less a generally ambiguous, Note bottom of page the
Term Transsexual as being specific and therefore in contrast to
the term Transgender.
http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm
http://genderpsychology.org/transsexual/benjamin_gd.html

Steeping out of Denial

Heartbreak and found courage
It had taken me years to devise a plan to leave the life-
sucking leeches that constantly took advantage of me in the dust.
I was tired of paying for everyone’s mistakes, including the
tenth one last time at rehab for an addict I knew. I satisfied all of
my debts and relocated. Except for few friends that eventually
abandoned me in the name of their God, I disappeared.
After relocating, I gathered up the courage to seek help in
confirming what I had known since childhood. I knew this
undertaking would be difficult I also knew it would bring public
shame on my family from their peers hence I left without notice
to spare them the social embarrassment and intimidation of
having to explain me to others if they did see me at all.

[33]
 After all social status and religious dogma are more
important than love and compassion for flesh and blood in deep
psychological crisis. If my family truly cared about my own
well-being, they would have stood by me and done so with
honour and not judgement.
Their choice is not on me, the dishonour is on them.
For once in my entire life, I was going to think of myself. I
realised that my happiness was more important than that of
others.
I paid a hefty price for my freedom and truth in more ways
than I can count but it has been bloody well worth it.
The first step in finding help is looking for a licensed clinical
behavioural psychologist or psychiatrist who has been proven
competent in this field.

Clinical terminology during my transition.

During my transition in the nineteen nineties, the only clinical
terms regarding human behaviour having to do with Sexual
Orientation and Gender Identity were Transsexual, Bi Sexual,
Intersexual (Hermaphrodite), Lesbian, Homosexual,
Heterosexual, and Transvestite. Today the number of terms and
their various descriptions are so numerous it makes my head
spin.
Over the years, people have made up and often-used existing
terms then expanded and amended their definitions in order to
adapt them to their Transgender cause. Many in the Transgender
community have adopted cute little pirate terms such as
oppressor to describe those unfriendly to their cause.
It appears that many of these individuals are seeking a career
as members of the Transgender community because they are just
so feckin special it makes me want to boak.

[34]
 [Rather than completing their transition and moving forward
with their life with the rest of the world, excluding those who
have chosen the honour to serve as advocates, they live under
their Transgender umbrella because they cannae handle their
own truth and that society is not going to kiss their erse.]
I am compelled to ask when the hell did we go from academic
and clinical terminology to hey let’s just make shit up?
While I transitioned, unlike today, there were no large
Transgender Law or study centres, no internet, and for all intent
and purposes, there was just me.
There were but few organised Transsexual alliances and that
few had no degree of pull to help individuals such as myself.
There were positive groups popping up and organising when I
completed the process.
During m y transition, there was what I would define as radicle
groups such as Trans-menace. I wanted no part of them even
though I had been asked to join.

[35]
 While they were busy being outraged I concentrated on myself
after all myself was why I pursued help. Many of the groups I
was asked to join were counterproductive in so much as asking
that I endorse someone else’s idea of what was right for me,
been there had done that for years never again.

During transition, I began to live and work full

time as Kathryn
I did volunteer work and even so, I was asked for sexual
favour outside of the office by people who worked elsewhere
inside this small building or at local businesses. This added
further insult to the already present discrimination I was
experiencing.
One of my assailants was stupid enough to grab me under
the left arm. When I swung around trying to break his grip, he
put his other hand in the crotch of my blue jeans. I still feel bad
because I dislocated his shoulder and broke his wrist. I wanted to
ring an ambulance but he said no. After this happened I began
crying and did so on the drive home. The woman that operated
the office was a wonderful open-minded individual who had no
tolerance for such abuse. She would have called the police, who
would then take a report and do nothing.

Work place issues

In the nineteen nineties and several places today one can be
terminated from one's job because they are undergoing transition
or have completed GRS.
In the nineties, insurance companies would rarely
underwrite, any type of policy for people undergoing transition
and forget post op status.
If an employer cannot insure you in case of a job-related
injury, what choices do they have?

[36]
 If the employer does not provide medical coverage, they
must carry liability and injury insurance on employees, once
again leaving them in a quagmire.
If an employer list a MTF Transsexual as Male in order to
obtain insurance there may be hell to pay with the Transsexual as
many would find this action offensive.
In twenty fifteen the affordable care act, which kicks into
the next gear in 2016, forbids health insurance companies from
discrimination based on pre-existing health conditions.
In the workplace, there may also be a great deal of antipathy
directed at Transsexual individuals.
At the time of this writing in July 2015, there are new laws
preventing such behaviour however, they are not recognised in
all states.
There are also states that have laws making it a criminal
offence to physically harm a Transsexual.
In the interest of accurate information for the book, I rang
an insurance agency I used to deal. I did this last week to inquire
on the protocol involved with issuing a life insurance policy on
both a pre and post-op Transsexual, he never returned my call,
and I have called twice.
I called them and asked if this was going to be a problem and
was told in quite curtain fashion he is not avoiding you! In my
life experience people, generally, dinnae make such statements
unless they are true.

Physical Confrontations
First off, avoid them trust me regardless of laws the police
are not interested in your side of things! Life’s lessons teach us
there is always one asshole who will try to rain on your sunny
day.

[37]
 Speaking for myself, I met several daily; if not sexual
advances, it was hate and religious bigotry.
One idjit made the mistake of placing his hands on me by
grabbing me under the arm, as I swung around to break free he
then grabbing my crotch. His trip to the ER left a lasting
impression; this person never bothered me again.
Post Transition having relocated I was removing my rubbish
to the outdoor bin one evening when a few knuckleheads decided
to see if I was a real girl. This made me sad because I was forced
to harm all of them. Do not ever let anyone put their hands on
you!
There are numerous types of confrontations that MTF
Transsexuals may experience and what all MTF Transsexuals
should realise is that all women may be attacked and be made to
deal with the attacker as well the aftermath. The exception being
they are not being assaulted or mistreated for being Transsexual.
They are generally being assaulted and abused because certain
men cannot control their sexual desires and animal need to
control someone who may be weaker.
In a verbal confrontation, rather than stand and argue with
someone I suggest you walk away. Frankly, I have better things
to do with my time.
According to the media, religious and political leaders as
well their followers are each and all law abiding model citizens
in a Christian society. To this I say bullshit!
Then why do women need to carry gas canisters, stun guns,
and firearms? Why is rape even existent in America? How is
this even possible? It appears members of the male sex cannot
control their urges. Odious and Pitiful!
What would Jesus say?

[38]
 I stand firmly as to matters of confrontations having to do
with an imminent threat of death as a fight or flight issue
determined by an individual’s perception as to the level of
perceived threat and access to an escape route.
Let it be understood that I deplore violence, it solves
nothing and only serves to escalate not diffuse a potentially
explosive situation.
As I have said before, things can become physical, never a
good course of action, and never a positive outcome. Mind you,
these issues are not limited to Transsexuals; LGBTQ individuals
are also being bullied.

Sexual harassment and a lot of it.

MTF sexual harassment is something the Transsexual needs
to become aware of; the various manners in which this
discrimination may take place are pertinent to your survival.
Many of these situations can become violent.
Odd as men who quoted their bible to me were those who
asked me to have sex with them.
One of their favorites being the give me a lunch break
blowjob and oh baby let’s get a hotel room I just want the
experience of having a chick with a dick. It is sickening, and
revolting. I must ask why a straight (?) God-fearing Christian
man, a pillar of the community wants to have sex with a pre op
MTF transsexual that they considered male. Their intentions as
so stated are no more than a homosexual proposition, but of
course, according to one, their God could never see them, after
all, they would be in a hotel room. Yes, he actually said that!
I am not gay!!
Had I ever confided in her the names of the individuals who
propositioned me, including one who physically assaulted me,
she would have been shocked, pillars of the community indeed.

[39]
 It may come as no surprise that those spewing hate and
religious rhetoric at me were the same individuals that kept
asking me for sex. One of these individuals was a clergyman.
When I told him no, he began again with the childish name-
calling and shaming rubbish. These individuals need to have
their mouths washed out with bleach and their genitals dipped in
hot oil.

Intimidation
There is another form of abuse, often verbal.
I have experienced this near my entire life and sadly, people
now try to belittle me as I am a validated and proven Psychic
Medium. Due to my personal disclosure over a year ago now its
harassment for my being a Transsexual and a Psychic Medium.
To their embarrassment, I fire back with some of the most
sarcastic and degrading things, starting with their appearance and
once I do it's nonstop. Recently I have chosen to say nothing and
walk away.
Not everyone succeeds in dealing with intimidation and
shaming while in transition; the numbers of those who commit
suicide because of this, bullying or being shamed for being who
they are is growing rapidly.
As I have said before, things can become physical, never a
good course of action, and never a positive outcome. Mind you,
these issues are not limited to Transsexuals, but includes
Lesbian, Gay and Bi individuals. The Christ-hating Christians
are not just a threat to the Transsexual and Transgender
community they are a threat to the entire world. Look at the
theocratic fascist governments in the Middle East. America is
becoming Hitlers, Germany and I do not speak lightly.

[40]
 Shocking as it may be there are bullies and transphobes inside
the Transgender community

My immediate family
She knew and kept this secret from me for decades
On the evening of my mothers death
What my mother shared with me directly before her death
sent me to my knees.
I was shocked and angry at what my parents knew and there
were others in the family that knew and said nothing to me.
Mum said she always knew I was female there what she called
signs. My mother was my best friend and I felt betrayed, then I
realized that my parents had nowhere to turn in the nineteen
fifties to help me. The doctor told them at my birth that it would
be better to hold my head underwater until I expired than to have
me live a horrible life.
Mum suffered a massive stroke and a heart attack during our
conversation; she died right then and there. While my mother lay
on my living room floor, I began CPR on her. As the ambulance
had been called my wife was in bed with one of my co-workers.
To this day despite my abilities, I miss her.
She was just a few days from her birthday; she would have
been fifty-eight. Her sudden death devastated me. It also made
me realize I had best face my truth now if I ever expected to find
some peace and happiness during this life.

[41]
My Father
I cannot imagine how difficult and frustrating it had been
for him. The thought of being helpless in not knowing what he
could or should do to help me a girl trapped in a boy’s body.
Before he died, I felt sorry for him in ways I can not
describe there is so much he missed in life because of that
wretched wombat he married. What I found difficult to believe
was his giving up on me.
However, his surrender was no real surprise what he had not
done as a father shattered my heart to pieces.
Dads are supposed to go the distance to help their children
no matter what it takes, move heaven, and earth.
As a dad, parent, this was my responsibility, my mandate, I
embraced one thousand percent, and I will still do today if given
a fair opportunity to do so today.
Father permitted my stepmother to run his life and make
many of the decisions before and during his illness.
This may have been his way of self-punishment after losing
my mother to divorce; of course, I am speculating as to discuss
this further would be a waste of time. However, my mum
confided in me the reason for their divorce and it knocked me off
my chair. Their issues could have been resolved but dad refused
to go to a marriage counselor with mum.
The day father died he appeared in my bedroom, he had
both of his legs. He smiled at me turned and vanished into a tiny
point of light. My only wish is that we could have gone fishing
together one last time.
Alone on a boat in the ocean the two of us talking and
discussing what we called affairs of state, one of which was
always dinner.

[42]
My Son and I
Nearly two decades have passed and due to a legal matter
and the intervention of my daughter in law my son and I had a
heart to heart talk. We had both been misled with regards to
certain pertinent issues.
I had always thought my son only wanted my financial
assistance and I was dead wrong and for that, I have apologised.
He thought I did not want him in my life as he never heard from
me and that is not true.
The truth is I used to call his mother all the time to let her
know where I was and how to get in touch with me.
Finding his mum was a task in itself, she relocated often, she
would also run up a phone bill and then put the phone in
someone else’s name and run that up.
When I was able to find her, his mother would tell me he’s not
here, he’s out with friends; he is with his uncle and so forth. I
always left a message!
The fact is my son never received many of these messages.
I had weekend visitation and would pick my son up then drive
to my hoose at the Jersey shore. This was provided I could find
his mother and if and when she told me he would be there.
I am beyond angry at what she did as it cost my son and I
decades, not so much that she did it to me I’ve been shat on most
of my life, she did this despicable thing to our son and for that I
am furious.
The times I did spend with my son were often comprised of
my laying on the couch with massive migraines, which I later
learned when I entered the Gender Dysphoria program were
caused by a hormone imbalance, my chromosomes are XYx (x
attached)
I did not qualify as one with Klinefelter's syndrome but the
hormonal imbalance caused my headaches and those who loved
me emotional pain.

[43]
 Although my son and I will never get back that decade plus, a
cold reality dictates it’s gone.
Nevertheless, we have the now and hope to move forward as
my son himself has said so and mind you is making the effort. If
and when he is ready to discuss what is politely being called my
change I will have that discussion.
My son is an intelligent man and I have already told him I will
answer any and all questions.
The doctors tell me when I begin dialysis it’s possible to live
ten years, however as I have heart disease and a blockage plus I
am missing part of a lung I may have as much as four maybe five
years.
I say it’s up to the Universe , not men to make such decisions
when it’s my time it’s my time.
Due to my overall health and age, I doubt a transplant will be
possible. These health issues are my own and there is not need
to pish and moan or make cartoon noises and faces to my son,
his wife and family.
It’s a happy ending though as I was able to talk to my son
again and resolve certain issues.
I feel we have somewhat decided to let the past rest and move
forward. I am not beyond discussing anything should he ask.
I still do not seek a seat at his dinner table because of my
gender reassignment.
Although I did nothing wrong in my gender re-assignment I
would never place my son or my family in the position of having
to explain me should someone drop by.
I will continue to hold my head high for rising above the
issues within our control and being a part of helping my son and
his family in the present.

[44]
 I never felt the need to tell him that Dads often work behind
the scenes to help their children. I did this more than once and
only recently shared with him some of the issues I quietly
resolved in order to assure him the pursuit of a positive future.
Dads try to save the day because that is who we are.

My son meeting (me) Kathryn

When I told my son I was in transition his reaction was one of
shock and emotional distress. I love him and will not lay blame
on him except to say I had bought books they I was never able to
give him regarding Gender Dysphoria, and although it may have
taken a year or two we could have reached an honest and
respectful agreement on our future relationship.
I wanted to have a private conversation with him when we met
decades ago, but circumstances did not permit this and it was
quite unfortunate.
He fled and I did not blame him, I could not have laid total
blame on my son, as I know there were outside influences
pulling at him and it certainly was not his wife. This outside
influence recently exposed their bigotry regarding Transsexuals
via an online comment.
Frankly, we all make snap decisions and I have made more
than a few and lived to regret several of them. I had also made
decisions based on someone’s opinions by my own doing I
misled myself and I accounted for these mistakes ten fold.
Except for a certain someone today I trust only my decisions and
opinions.

[45]
 Consider this scenario with regard to my son.
Although speculative I intend to establish relevance regarding
my full transition. If I had not been born with Gender Dysphoria
and my dad would have shown up at my home wearing makeup
and a fancy hairdo, not to mention breast I would have lost it. I
would have asked (her) honest and polite questions as I would
feel the need to understand.
What was I to say to my father, how could I look at (her) as a
woman when I had known the man since childhood? What topics
could we discuss? Could we still talk about the guy things we
always had?
Can you imagine my sons' emotional distress and utter
confusion?
Nevertheless, it may have taken me some time to wrap my
head around but I would not have written my father off. In spite
of all the rotten shat, he did to me when he remarried I would
have wanted to remain in his life.
With regards to both of my children and the matter of my
gender reassignment let me be clear in saying there are
manipulative people out there and they do not care whom they
harm as long as things fall their way.
When I met my son again after seventeen years my heart leapt
with joy. A photo of us taken by my granddaughter says it all.
He and I had a smile a mile wide. I have not seen him smile like
that in thirty years. I know the subject is difficult for him and I
understand why, if and when he is ready we will discuss the
issues and I hope to offer him some type of closure.
If he never breaches the issue so be it. I pray that we will
continue to move forward into a positive future.

[46]
My Daughter and I
When I spoke with my daughter and told her I had entered a
gender dysphoria evaluation program she was gobsmacked. I
explained to her why I was doing this and she somewhat
understood. When she returned to England she laid her hands on
every book that was available at the time. Each of which was
written by a psychologist or psychiatrist proven in the field of
gender studies and gender dysphoria, in the nineties referred to a
Gender Identity Disorder. We spoke by phone several times and
I did my best to answer her questions.
When she visited me again she insisted on taking me shopping
in Las Vegas, mind you, my daughter has a thing for the sixties
and seventies vintage clothing. I was not keen on this, I survived
the seventies and I did not want to fly to Vegas..
We went shopping at a large Mall in Pennsylvania, once inside
she said; oh I almost forget should I call you dad or Kathryn
because dad would sound pretty bloody stupid.
Shopping was her way of saying I accept you Kath since that
time she has called me dad privately and Kath publically.
My daughter accepted me and to this day something I was a
surprised when she echoed something she never heard me say to
her uncle. This was in regard to my mum. Odd feeling as she
employed my own logic when speaking of how she really felt
about my gender reassignment.
She said dad all that matters to me is that you are happy. If you
are happy so am I.
When my kidneys failed in twenty fourteen she decided to
break all ties with me saying she could not handle my illness as I
also have heart and lung disease. Part of my right lung was
removed in two thousand and nine.
Upon returning from my hospital after massive kidney failure
she said, dad, I can not handle any more sadness.

[47]
 I love you and the thought of losing you is something I can
not deal with. I said sweetie we all die it’s a part of living and we
still have the opportunity to enjoy the now.
Not counting my mother as that was long ago she had buried
three grandparents, one being my father who she grew to love in
his final days on Earth. We also lost several others in a short
period of time and these events had gotten at her in ways she felt
uncomfortable talking about. I said, sweetie, I am your dad and
you have always been able to talk to me about anything.
There is much more to this story and that which she shared
with me along with her other reasons shall remain forever
private.
I am heartbroken and disappointed but not angry. I must
respect her decision as you see I have no other choice.
I know deep inside of her she still accepts and loves me,
because she told me so when we said goodbye.

The Transsexuals lack of rights in the nineties.

There was no one but me to assert my rights or establish the
fact that I am indeed a human being. I can say once exception
being a well-informed Transsexual attorney who came to my
aide concerning one legal issue and they did so pro bono.
I also knew two political figures, Republicans, both of which
acted on my behalf on two separate occasions after I completed
my transition. All of these things were taking place in nineteen
ninety-five before the GOP became a sick punch line at a party,
an evangelical and AIPAC owned group of war mongering bible
misinterpreting transphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, fear
mongering nutters.
The alliance that I knew did not stand up for me; this was quite
disappointing. Of the meetings, I attended most were
counterproductive.

[48]
 I stood in my truth for myself, and along the way, I never
realised that my actions might have had a positive effect on the
futures of other Transsexual’s but they did.

Are Transsexuals confused about their gender?

Children under eighteen know their gender although several
agenda driven doctors continue to dispute the scientific facts
their studies and subsequent proclamation have resulted in no
change being made to any treatment plan that I am aware of so I
will say no they are not confused. Adult transsexuals are not
confused either, I’m not.
Please search the many links I have placed in this book.
Those making unqualified declarations alleging transsexual
confusion in children adult’s dinnae know who or what the feck
they are let alone who anyone else.

[49]
Fast forward to the nineties
In the early nineteen nineties, I began a journey that saved
not only my life, it helped me find who and what I truly am.
I began by being tested and then accepted into a six-month
trial Gender Dysphoria evaluation program. The entire process
would take me three years, as I took some time off for a major
health issue.
Wait hold the presses, my God it’s true that you cannot walk
into you medical doctors office and ask for a script to have a sex
change operation! Who would a thunk it? A behavioural
psychologist must evaluate you first.
From the first month onward, I began my transition from
male to female. Of the issues I brought to therapy depression was
one of them. I still suffer bouts of to this day.
According to my doctors, I still have no need of meds
because I handle them well. PTSD is something I also dealt with,
again Doctors said I needed no meds as I defined and worked
through many of the issues as needed. What I find odd is that
many not all of these issues vanished during my transition
therapy and I am told this is not unusual.
After a three-month evaluation, I was diagnosed with
Gender Identity Disorder aka Gender Dysphoria.
In my case, this diagnosis was in no way indicative of Bi-
Polar and this was made quite clear to me.
At the end of the third month, I was asked if I wanted to stay
in the program, my answer is now obvious.
I was then asked over a course of several months before
receiving my successful six-month in program Hormone
Replacement Therapy letter why I had not legally changed my
name as of yet.
I did resolve a portion of the legal name change issue, more
on this later.

[50]
 The name change document was later joined with several
other legal documents that once presented in effect created a
legal avalanche that I literally slammed DMV with.
At the time of the HRT letter, I had much more legal and
personal work to do. During the sixth month I was granted an
HRT letter, this also had my new name on it.
A Hormone Replacement therapy letter is a large step
forward in the transition process. After the letter came into my
hands, I located and scheduled an appointment to see an
endocrinologist. This doctor would administer both female
hormones and male hormone suppressants, order blood test,
monitor, and track my overall physical progress.
Please note that Male Hormone suppressants are also
administered to block the male (or female for FTM) hormones.
During the initial stages of the HRT treatment the body, my
body, physically changed, redistribution of fats, breast growth,
and emotional transformations. All of these must be addressed
and monitored by a licensed clinical behavioral psychologist or
psychiatrist who has proven competent in this field.
These suppressants may also have dangerous side effects.
Let it also be noted that female hormones may also cause
internal organ issues, such as liver, vein, and what may become
major lipid profile issues.
My endocrinologist told me last year that the Premarin I was
taking might also cause internal bleeding.
After GRS, the male hormone suppressants are no longer
needed.
It is notable that the female hormones I was taking would
also continue for the rest of my life. I no longer take Premarin I
take something safer now. I no longer see the endocrinologist.
Please note that those who dinnae have the surgery, and
many have not for various justifiable reasons, must take the male
suppressants the rest of their lives.

[51]
 During the next several months, I was change my health
insurance, pension, and social security number. To do this I had
to legally change my name. Nine months in, I asked the therapist
and a PHD to write me an additional letter stating I was in a
Gender Re-assignment program. This letter was extremely useful
in the months to come.
One of the primary sources of frustration was the DMV; they
refused to change anything even after being presented with my
new social security card. I was required to work and live in my
gender full time, do ya think. Another part of the transition
process was to undergo electrolysis, hair removal, and yes dare I
say extensively on ones’ private area, although there are
numbing creams, this can be quite painful.
Upon receiving the HRT letter, and subsequent letter from
my therapist and a PHD. I had devised a plan, so I approached
the Department of Motor Vehicles once again.
At that time, I gave them a certified copy of my name
change affidavit. Unbelievably I was met with resistance and
antipathy until I began asserting the law pointing to the obscure
legality I will call ‘State Capitol point of origin.’
Harrisburg city had begun to recognize HRT documents and
doctors letters in order to change names on Drivers licenses.
The commonwealth refused to change the name and gender
on my driver’s license until being presented with other legal
documents, a cat and mouse game of legal semantics packed
neatly inside a bureaucracy of indifference.
The negativity and disregard for existing laws as well the
bold obstinance inspired me to strengthen my resolve. On a
whim, I decided to help others like myself by providing certain
parties with much needed information.
I did not live in Harrisburg (state capitol) hence point of
origin using Harrisburg as ‘point of origin’ of all Commonwealth
law.

[52]
 After all, the Commonwealth can not recognize the rights of
others, while withholding same to the citizens in the remainder
of the Commonwealth.
Some would argue and say counties and districts may pass
laws and ordinances denying certain services. Factual as this is
only in part said county and or district that are not located in
Harrisburg may do so providing the laws and or adopted
protocols of the Commonwealths state agencies and or the
Federal Government are not disregarded and or infringed upon.
After my failed attempts at changing my driver’s license, I
decided to re think my legal approach.
I was going to therapy several times a month and often
spoke with two other Transsexuals in the same program.
During a conversation with a former colleague on impulse,
alone and out of sheer frustration with the Commonwealth I
decided to undertake a difficult task. I volunteered myself by
saying I will see what I can do about something. I did this in
exchange for a favour, plus no one had been able to place their
hands on the needed information and several; had tried.
The task was a bit of critical intel work that would benefit
the Transsexual community.
Within two weeks I was able to present the one person I
knew to be working the issues with a Fulcrum, to quote one
individual it was “ holy grail.“
These documents enabled them access to all representatives,
both state and senate, in the commonwealth.
The fulcrum provided several list of go to Government
officials, congress, senate, and the actual aids that work with
them daily, not office workers who trolley you in endless circles.
My intel enabled them direct access to near every politician
in the Commonwealth, exception being the governor and
although I never obtained such information regarding him I
knew someone who worked with the man daily and directly.

[53]
 The Fulcrum was used to navigate through the system
without red tape and provide the user with little if any resistance
to accessing even more data. The contents of the Fulcrum were
not secret or classified information; the information is something
the politicians have always coveted. Interesting point is the
commonwealth representatives also accept driver’s license and
auto registration renewals and to aid their constituencies they
transported the renewals to Harrisburg for front of the line
processing. Do you see where I am going?
Unknown to me at that time was the fact that my
contribution was an important part of a process that enabled
others in the Transsexual community to successfully help allies
lobby a hate crimes bill and address several other issues in years
to come.
The hate crimes bill was subsequently passed and signed
into law by the governor only to be later overturned. I will save
the bitter details.
After providing them with the Fulcrum, the pivot point, of
much needed information to active parties pursuing Transsexual
rights, it never occurred to me that I was a small part of a greater
good that would bring about gradual change and acceptance of
Transsexuals in society.
Being told the Fulcrum I quote “is the Holy Grail,” they had
sought for years I was un-phased.
By doing so, it permitted interested parties direct access to
not just actual aides of state congresspersons and senators but the
congresspersons and senate members on a considerably large
political level.
What I did was legal; the politicians coveted this information
and held it close to themselves like a newborn baby. The
information was not classified.

[54]
The Transsexual and their spouse
If you are going to be evaluated or are in the transition,
process and you are in a relationship please pay close attention to
what I am going to say
My personal feelings on the marital relationship status at the
start of transition are what I would hope to draw to the attention
of both the Transsexual and their spouse, if applicable.
I know during transition one can turn back at a certain point
but that’s no excuse for ignoring your spouse it is also bloody
stupid to burn that bridge. If you are a Transsexual, you should
straighten up and do the right things by your spouses' dinnae just
pick up and leave. Tap-dancin Jesus this is the person you built a
life with and in many cases a family. You owe them an
explanation, you also owe them the right to speak aboot their
feelings. You do not need their permission or the permission of
your children or other family members to transition but you owe
your spouse resolve and closure, you can talk to your children
afterwards.
Your spouse may feel betrayed and lied to and as a matter of
fact, they have every right to express these sentiments. The
person standing there cared for you when you were sick and
enjoyed life with you when you were not.
Wake up! Your disclosure has set their emotions on high alert.
To hell with your own emotions for a moment!
Hug them if they will let you. If they ask you to leave then
leave, make arrangements to pick up your things, be civil about
it even if your spouse is not.
Be polite the last thing you want is to leave them with even
more heartache and tears.
Don’t be a coward’ stand with them even if it is one last time,
be a human being, and show some compassion. You want the
world to show you compassion and empathy because of your
suffering then dinnae be a flippin hypocrite.

[55]
 I can hear someone saying well what do you know you never
had to do this.
Well, I do know what I am talking about.
I told my first wife and we had a long civilised discussion, in
fact, we talked for days. At the end of our conversation, she
looked at me and said whom can we speak with so you can get
help? Then she said you know what? We are best friends and I
hope we can continue living together as friends and as a friend
only. We both sat there in tears!
We divorced long before I transitioned we had marital issues
unrelated to my gender dysphoria. To a small degree, she was a
good person in spite of all our issues.

Has mypersonal taste changed since transition?

Although there have been drastic changes to my appearance
and deportment dare I say I now have emotions. All of these
changes combined I still have my political and religious views; I
still like to talk aboot fast cars amoung other things.
It is merely a media created misconception that as soon as a
Transsexual undergoes transition they start discussing clothing,
cosmetics, and how to makeover their home in shades of pink,
speaking of myself these are all fictitious and ill-contrived
absurdities.. My living room looks like a nineteen-fifties Sci-Fi
memorabilia display. Photos and lobby cards cover my wall, toy
Robots on one of my shelves. I have a massive film collection,
DVDs and VHS most of which are had to find nineteen fifties
Sci-Fi films. There are no pink foo-foo slippers or foo-foo
nightgowns.
Well my bedroom is feminine, there is a huge painting of a
lighthoose over my bed, and there are miniature lighthooses,
some of which are AC powered replicas.

[56]
 To me, this is an extension of my love of the sea and the
time I spent with my grandparents at their summer home. It is
feminine to me, besides who the hell decides what is and is not
feminine.

Personal appearances
This is critical to the Transitioning MTFTranssexual
I know this may seem unimportant to some perhaps even
boring but what is being said is all part of the MTF transition on
the must known list as part of the process.
Before I continue, I want to make it clear that clothes do not
make the man or woman.
If anyone thinks for a moment that I transitioned, just to
change my wardrobe, you’re an ill-informed jackass.
My taste in clothing reflects who I am as a person, I dinnae
wear makeup while I am at home unless I am entertaining.
The majority of my makeup skills originate with me. I simply
knew how to do these things. What I lacked in makeup skills was
not much, other tips I was taught.
I was doing well from the start. I was later given a small bit of
help with makeup from a former model I knew, she said I needed
very little help if any. I must say my very first encounter with the
public went poorly. It is said that the very first time dressing and
venturing into public is a rush well I missed that train. Spare the
details the issue was one of appearance, having to do with my
wardrobe; do stay away from reds and bright colours.
I recall having grown up with elegant women of, poise, and
social grace there need be no other examples.
It may seem odd, as I never had need of an instructor or being
taught how to stand, sit, or walk.

[57]
 May I also add that having seen several cisgender women over
these past twenty plus years while shopping or at one of my
doctors’ appointments, many could use a few lessons in
deportment, social grace, and use of the spoken English
language.
I say this to you in earnest your journey has nothing to do with
pride your life is more than pride its self-worth and inner faith
combined with dignity and fortitude.

Financial burdens of transition

Some of the following may be redundant I will demonstrate
relevance when I begin stating cost financially.
Let me speak of requirements other than name and gender
changes on a legal document.
I was only able to undergo sporadic electrolysis because I was
living on such a low income due to the money the state had been
taking for my son, who was well over twenty-one, married and
not in college.
The same can be said for my hormones and suppressants; I had
to cut the doses in half at times once again due to finances.
I was able to have the facial surgery due to a deviated septum.
The surgeon worked with me on cost after I placed a sizeable
down payment.
I am afforded medical coverage under my pension, however,
nearly all I had to do was listed as elective, and that I paid out of
pocket. It was difficult as I was caring for my family roommate.
I am not bitching because she was of the opinion that she
wanted me to help me complete transition, but I should not use
all of my savings. She wanted to help financially as well, I was
dead set against her doing I finally gave in and let her help.
I always made sure her needs were seen to first and even
though we were living in what may be called a ghetto with a bit
of savvy, budgeting we made it through.

[58]
 Once the support order on my son was vacated, I began an
aggressive course of obtaining my transition-related meds. I no
longer cut every other day's doses in half I resumed prescribed
dosage. I aggressively pursued electrolysis to its end and pursued
all else listed below but the fact remains it had taken a bit of
time.
My facial surgery began but was not completed because of the
extensive damage to my skull that caused a large calcium deposit
requiring the attentions of another type of surgeon.
Much of the physical scarring, some obvious other faded,
remains to date and I still use the makeup now and then.
What had been done and the extensive rebuilding and
reshaping of the lower portion of my face, nose done twice,
shocked not only Joy but also a nearby friend, after the swelling
went down. I looked nothing, nothing as I once did as my face
had undergone a drastic change. Some say for the better and I
must concur outrageous laughter.
I have not spoken to the extent of all and everything as I only
wish to demonstrate the enormity of my physical and emotional
transition as well the financial hardships.

GRS in the nineties.

Again depending on where and who performed your surgery
the cost would vary. Be mindful many surgeons did not offer
deals on multiple services during GRS.
In the nineties, there were few Harry Benjamin certified
surgeons that performed GRS there were also fewer true
transsexuals In the nineteen nineties, the Surgeons were spread
from Canada and Colorado to Pittsburgh and Thailand.
This did not include aftercare, distilled water, stents and
related post-surgery care items. Average recovery time was six
months.

[59]
 Today GRS surgeries MTF and FTM are performed by
hundreds of certified physicians worldwide.
Word to anyone in transition and planning to undergo GRS, I
suggest you take a small but comfortable pillow with you to
GRS, trust me you will need it.
. In the mid nineteen nineties, the total cost of complete
transition including GRS was between twenty-five and forty-five
thousand American dollars.
The total cost of just the GRS today may be as much as,
depending on what you have done, eighty to one-hundred-
thousand, plus dollars.
Depending on the surgeons, procedures, therapist, hormones,
instructors in poise, deportment, makeup, clothing, hair, travel,
and where you shop for your meds as well other services. I have
valid information that one woman in twenty fifteen spent seven
hundred thousand dollars on her complete transition.

The facts concerning regret post GRS. Please visit

the links posted with this article. The article itself is a synopsis
the links are quite in depth and validated.
I hear the usual bigoted, uneducated liars or internet parrots
tossing about percentage numbers and outright falsities as to the
valid numbers related to surgical regret experienced by post op
Transsexual well here are the facts.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/myths-
about-transition-regrets_b_6160626.html

[60]
Personal experiences with hospitals
In the nineties the local MDs and hospital staff in Bedford,
Pa caused me, a great deal of mental anguish. One of the MDs
located in the Bedford area refused to treat me citing religion,
there were others.
A Doctor located near the Maryland border gave me a
sermon on how I am an abomination to God.
I was thrown out of a doctor’s office after he accepted me as
a patient, six months into transition, simply because another
patient in the waiting room was upset or as she said ’there’s
something not right with that person, “I think it may be a man”
note she called me IT.” This was not the last time I had been
asked to leave a doctor’s office. I had been given a variety of
reasons why, my height, my manner of speaking etc.
I feel most of these women were intimidated by someone
who is statuesque, well groomed, well spoken, polite, well
versed in film, music, and world affairs.
If I had been holding a big gulp in one hand, a bag of potato
crisps in the other, was unclean, had a poor understanding of the
English language, and wearing a tee shirt that said
“You don’t believe in Jesus get the hell out of my country” I
may have met with their approval.
Things have gotten better over the past few years. It may just
be me but I find it easier if I sit quietly off somewhere in the
waiting area.
Today my primary care physician, neuro, and nephrologist
treat me with the utmost respect, they are professional in every
aspect of my care and frankly I have never had any issue with
them.
I have two other doctors who book me in early.

[61]
 This affords me with having not having to deal with an
assortment of gossips and loud mouthed know it all’s in the
waiting area. I do not see any of this as discriminatory I see this
as a win, win situation as they are doing me a large favour.
I carry a porta DVD player as well an MP3 player, they both
have Sony ear buds. The nurses know this and generally walk
over to me when it’s my turn to go back to the exam room.
In nineteen- ninety-one I was in the process of re-building my
newly purchased twenty-five room country home, the home had
historic value as there were tunnels in the basement that had
been used by slaves during the civil war.
I was living as Kathryn part time and had not entered an
evaluation program. While working one day on the inside of my
home I collapsed. My sis Joy rang the fire brigade and they
dispatched and ambulance.
I was removed to a hospital in Du Bois, Pennsylvania; my
home was in the Clearfield County countryside. At the time I
was being taken to the hospital, I was wearing a woman’s top,
jeans, and a bra.
Upon my arrival at the hospital, they began to run the test. I
started vomiting uncontrollably, I thought I would choke to
death; this and a high-grade fever placed me bedridden. They
said I was dehydrated and diagnosed me with COPD and
Emphysema.
I had chronic bronchitis for years, and the past several months
I had a flare up and had been treating at home. While in the
hospital for some unknown reason, a minister came to my room.
My bra and underclothes were laid out on top of a dressing table,
why I dinnae know but they were.
The minister began by saying you should be ashamed of
yourself!

[62]
 What are you talking about I said, he replied well you are
dressing like a woman what am I supposed to think. I said I am a
woman he shot back saying you are not!
Hello, I am wearing a flippin hospital gown say what. I said
do you need me to tell you what to think what are you the straw
man? Can you not think for yourself?
What are people supposed to think to insert former name?
I looked at him and said I did not give a flying feck what
people think you included.
He then began quoting his Bible and then a brimstone hellfire
sermon. I let him rant for a few minutes and then I said who are
you to speak for God?
You are no God you are a frightened little man, what you are
reading from your book is meaningless to me.
Then he called me an abomination to God and a child of the
devil.
I looked him in the eyes and said my God loves everyone
unconditionally without pause I dinnae know your hateful God
now get the feck out of my room and take your hateful deity with
you before I ring security.
He began ranting about Jesus, I looked at him again said you
are a liar I know your bloody book and understand it far better
than you now be gone, he was still ranting as he left.
I was in tears, and seeing as my sinuses were clogged, I have
chronic cyst, I began to choke on the nasal drip. A nurse came in,
they treated me well, and asked if she could give me a breathing
treatment I shook my head yes. A day later, I was released and
told to see the pulmonologist they had referred me to in order to
treat my newly discovered COPD and Emphysema.
After returning home, I was to speak with an eye doctor the
following day in Du Bois. That night I set my alarm and went to
sleep, and then the phone rang. I had overslept and upon
answering, I smelled smoke, then the phone went dead.

[63]
 All I could think of was my roommate and her safety, I
stepped into the hall and it was filled with smoke.
The fire alarm I had installed and tested had been opened and
was hanging from the ceiling. I looked to my left and the large
fire extinguisher was gone. I had set up zones with fire stations
and intercoms.
It was a huge home, twenty-five rooms, so big I got lost in the
place my first night there.
Upon smelling the smoke, I managed to get Joy out of her
room and down the back stairs; again a fire extinguisher was
missing at the lower landing.
I always closed the doors at night and for some reason, Joy
opened one of them leading into one of the fireplace rooms.
It was engulfed in flames I quickly grabbed her as she began
walking into the fire. I picked her up and carried her out of the
side door of and told her to stay outside, I then went back in for
my cat Mozart who I could hear crying.
While crawling on the floor the smoke began to overwhelm
me, it was too much so I made my way out of the side door.
Joy was burnt; I was also treated for smoke inhalation. The
home was a total loss, the insurance company would not issue a
contract until I had the home rewired and I had been doing this.
The electrician had been working in my home for two days I
just had the lumber yard deliver the wood I special ordered to
redo the outside of the home in order to restore it to its original
eighteen hundreds state.
As Joy and I sat in the back of the ambulance the fire chief told
me they could not save the home, I asked about my cat and he
remarked Oh your cat is probably toasted by now, how
insensitive. After being treated the Red Cross, put us up in a
hotel room a day later I rang the fire marshal to inquire as to the
cause of the fire.

[64]
 When I reached him, he said some very nasty things to me and
remarked he would see to it when he was damn ready.
I managed to contact a friend, he and his wife agreed to let us
stay at their home for two weeks while we looked for a new
house.
A week after the fire I called the marshal, again and again, he
went off on me, this time he hung up.
I had enough of this so I called a congressman friend and
asked him if he could find out why it was taking so long for the
marshal to make a call on the fire.
The marshal rang me a day later and began screaming, wtf is
wrong with you now you got Congressman _______ on my ass.
I told him I had enough of his shit and wanted an answer, he
said are you getting any money out of this and I responded no,
then he said it was a flue fire, he then added I am glad we burnt
you out you freak and hung up.
A day later I rang dad to tell him what happened and that, my
home phone was no longer in service, as I had no home.
During our conversation, I told him about the fire marshal and
he said, what is this person’s name? I am going to look into this I
want to know why he said that.
A month later, a friend I had made while rebuilding my home
rang me to ask if I heard about that fire marshal.
The one who gave you a rough time. I said why would I care,
what my friend said next sent a chill through me, he said because
the guy disappeared from his home, had a pot of boiling water on
the stove and left his wallet was on the table. A neighbour had
come over to return the jerks lawn mower and went looking for
him, then called the police. I knew nothing about this or if it was
even true, so I disregarded it. I rang my dad a week later to tell
him I had found a home to rent, as my stepmother listened in on
the extension phone dad said I looked into that marshal, I dinnae
think he will be causing trouble in the future.

[65]
 I asked no questions finished the conversation and stood there
a few minutes by the phone as if I had been frozen.
I care not to share my thoughts on dads possible intervention,
but I dinnae think he had anything to do with this man’s
disappearance if he did vanish.
I figured out how they got into my home to start the fire. There
was a hinged steel plate on the outside in the back; it went to the
coal bin.
I had placed a lock on it but it would have been easy to pry the
steel plate off the wood. I had no actionable proof after my entire
home burnt and there was no evidence.
Insult to injury the firefighters had stolen a thousand dollars’
worth of power tools, after the home burnt all that was left was a
shell.
I began to dig through the rubble where my tool room was
once located and found only a melted drill. There were no other
tools or remnants of them and I dug for three days.
Thousands of dollars worth of tools, new craftsman saw table,
Makita combo drill/drivers, Makita corded drill, eight hundred
dollars in Craftsman hand tools, Milwaukee reciprocating saws-
all,
Milwaukee hole-hawg industrial drill, Acetylene B tanks,
attachments including turbo tips, pipe cutters, Rigid pipe
threader, Rigid pipe wrenches, and a monkey wrench my
grandfather gave me when I was fifteen and still more.
I lost expensive musical instruments including one of my
prized Gibson Les Paul three pickup SG guitars, as well as a
sixty-seven Les Paul, a nineteen sixties Fender Stratocaster. Also
lost were my Fender P, Jazz, Mustang, and a nineteen sixty-
seven Hofner bass guitars. Ampeg bass amps SVT cab, custom
bass and guitar cabs I made. A Traynor, Fender Bassman, Fender
Twin and Vox guitar amps.

[66]
 The pedals I lost included an original issue Electro-Harmonix
Electric mistress, memory man, and a Pre Dunlop Arbiter fuzz
face.
I also lost recording equipment plus several keyboards
including a nineteen sixty-seven Farfisa combo keyboard,
Hammond Porta-B, a rare wood cabinet 147 RV Leslie, and my
prized M-1 Korg, I was devastated.
I had my savings left and began dipping into that when we
relocated.
I also tapped into it a bit of it during my transition, by the time
I completed my full transition my savings were gone.

A Hospital visit in the nineteen nineties

I suffered two TIAs in the nineties, at which time the then
Bedford, Pa hospital baulked about admitting me because of my
being Transsexual.
Although they did find a room, they made me extremely
uncomfortable by not using the proper pronoun.
The nurses mocked, laughed, and made rude statements in my
presence and in the hall. Tap-dancin Christ, I was sick show me
some compassion or mercy!
UPMC bought this putrid independent excuse for a hospital a
few years ago, and things have changed drastically.
In Oct 2014, I was once again a patient, massive kidney
failure, a nurse that had worked there before the takeover
insulted me at which time I addressed the matter to her quite
clearly.
Shortly thereafter, she apologised and further stated that
UPMC is an inclusive hospital and that all and everyone is
treated fairly and accordingly. Notable Point, there have been
LGBTI doctors, administrators and lawyers at UPMC Pittsburgh
for decades, including the nineteen nineties.

[67]
 Legal note, those having GRS upon admittance to a Hospital
still cannot place in a room with another patient like myself, civil
rights issue.
Also, note regardless of MTF or FTM sexual re-assignment
surgery your medical records will state born male or female.
Disclosure of one's Gender Identity in a hospital is not an
insult this may save your life.
I argued this very point with several MTF True Transsexuals
in the nineties and was told, all I need to do is take my clothing
off, and they know I am a female.
Physically yes, obviously a MTF Transsexual has internal
organs that are still male.
In the latter part of the nineties I spoke at Bedford hospital to
the nursing staff, that had treated me so badly, after the head of
nursing made a remark when referring to me, “we have all kinds
of things that go through here” I will spare you my replies accept
to say this woman cringed a little as I spoke to her.
(See the transsexual/transgender help centre at the back of the
book the provided links should lead you to the information you
can use to protect yourself legally.

Enmity in Hospital
Directly after my nasty experience with Bedford Hospital in
the nineties, I began speaking publically at hospitals, to staff,
nurses, etc. My first stop was Bedford hospital at which I
politely called out all of the nurses who had been abusive to me.
I stressed the need for compassion and empathy regarding
everyone including Transsexuals and that further demonstrating
the dedication to health care for all human beings should be a
nurse’s paramount concern.

[68]
 When I spoke, I did so in a kind non-condescending manner,
I was respectful and answered questions by doing so I was the
better person and they knew it.
Nurses today are still not being taught how to address
transsexuals with proper respect, many dinnae even have a base
knowledge of transsexualism.
Thus, anything including intolerance and insensitivity they
may have learned in the past still rests within them.
It is shameful that nurses, who are supposed to dedicate
themselves to health care and the healing of others, choose to be
intolerant and hateful to the True Transsexual their actions place
a black mark on the health care system.
Transsexuals become aware of such practitioners and so
those endorsing such indifference.
I know this I lived a nightmare for thirteen days while I was
in a Cumberland, Maryland Hospital in two thousand and nine. I
was recovering from an emergency surgery involving my lungs.
Mind you, it still said born male on my medical records and
will until I die I dinnae dispute this, as it may save my life.
However, having this fact used to assault me is criminal. The
state and federal government have a large say in what takes place
in health care facilities and by the facilities employees.
They have the power to launch an investigation into these
matters. After all, when they are paying the insurance bills for
any patient and separately granting state and federal aid to said
facilities they hold the purse strings.
My very calm and reserved family member took charge,
while I was on morphine. She told the staff in no other words
that they are shameful examples of the practice of nursing.

[69]
 The head of the nursing staff confronted her trying to
minimise the damage by saying, “we are just a country hospital”
too wit she replied all of you are required to meet the same
standards under the law as any other nurse in America.
Now, what is your excuse? It did not end there suffice to say
when I was discharged I began speaking with people I knew,
politicians, etc.
Today many of Americas Healthcare facilities including
Hospitals are now accommodating Transsexual people.
Except for the aforementioned hospital, during my thirteen-
day recovery, they gave me sepsis, which nearly killed me, as I
was so weak, to begin with.
I would rather die in my home than to be taken to that
miserable place ever again.
Real Name: The hospital was known as Sacred Heart
located on SEATON DRIVE in Cumberland, Maryland.
It has since relocated itself across the street from Allegany
College in Cumberland, Maryland. I believe it is now called
Western Maryland Healthcare. If you are a Transsexual or
LGBTQI person I suggest you avoid this hospital at all cost.

Another hospital visit

In Oct 2014, I had suffered sudden and massive kidney failure
I found myself at the same hospital only this time it was owned
by the University Of Pennsylvania Medical Center. They
admitted me and once in my room a nurse that had worked there
before the takeover insulted me. I addressed this quite clearly. I
was in agony and now I am pished beyond pisstivity. Here I am
again in a place of healing being harmed.
She returned to my room later and apologised. She further
stated that UPMC is an inclusive hospital and that all and
everyone is treated fairly.

[70]
 I said if you knew this why in the hell did you disrespect me?
She looked at me shook her head and left the room.

Todays positive steps toward inclusive health

care we are adopting non-discrimination policies. While there
are a growing number of inclusive health care professionals and
facilities there is a need for more inclusion.
This can only be achieved through positive and productive
dialogue and a base realisation that every individual on earth
should be treated equally, regardless of the political or religious
views.
I have personally spoken with both doctors and nurses who
have expressed a positive cause. I remember one doctor telling
me he became a physician because a family member had died
during their childhood because they were poor and of a different
faith, there was no adequate inclusive health care.
I expressed my deepest sadness for this person’s loss only to
once again say a silent prayer that my directors who are also my
executors do not have to face such antipathy and bias.
Nonetheless, there are health care facilities as well physicians
across America today that practice discrimination and bigotry
while using religion as a shield.
The narrow-minded shit fir brains sub-versional espousers of
such loathsome character that continually cherry pick their
magical tomes, to thereby condemning their victims. Leviticus
is one of their Christ-hating Christians books. They know so
little about their own religion and to hear them rant is as if you
are listening to wandering idiot absent of all reason.
Plainly speaking Leviticus is of the tribe of Levite. Christians
have no business cherry picking the Old Testament that is the
book of the Hebrews.

[71]
 I dinnae see Jewish people lined up on the malls holding signs
saying God hate fags, I have yet to see a Jew refuse service to
anyone based on their own religious freedom.
I have yet to see an Islamic individual holding these same
signs demanding others to live in accordance with their religion,
and still that Christ-hating false Christians feel they are superior
to all others and their respective religions.
News flash, yo still gotta wash yo ass!
This Sharia law rumour being spread by fear-mongering
buffoons are the ramblings of emotionally disturbed individuals
with deep seeded psychological issues.
There is one ethnic group of people who run the United
States, nothing happens in American without their say so.
This group of individuals will not permit anyone to jeopardise
their power base or financial interest. They will reign down fire
and brimstone to stop it before it begins.

Health Care for the Transsexual

If you Transsexual or Transgender or know of a
Transsexual in need of health care you may wish look view
this link
http://www.glma.org/
I dinnae know much about them therefore I can not attest to
the quality and degree of the services. However, I do feel it is a
positive starting point.
I also suggest this link as well and I do know they can be of help.
http://transequality.org/issues/resources/transgender-
healthcare-insurance-laws
(Also, visit the back of the books Transsexual/Transgender
help section where this are additional links and
information.)

[72]
 What’s the difference between Transsexual
and Transgender? Blurring the lines
To begin with, the clinical definition of Transsexual is based
To begin with, the clinical definition of Transsexual is based
solely on Gender Identity, Dysphoria, whereas the majority of
Transgender individuals are not Transsexuals.
When I transitioned in the nineteen nineties, I was taught by
professionals in the field of Gender sciences that Gender Identity
(Dysphoria) and Sexual Orientation are completely different
from one another.
In the attempt to create, one size fits all term the lines have
been blurred to the public and many Transsexuals such as me
who strongly disagree with Gender Dysphoria being shoved
under the supercilious Transgender umbrella.
Even the non-surgical Transsexuals are not two-spirit, cis
gender-birth and mind gender are one and same, asexual,
pansexual, bigender, third gender, and so forth.
I know the terms Transman and Transwoman were created
as a divisive measure fed to the Transsexual today propounded to
be an inclusive term and I find this to be provocative.
The term Transgender opened the floodgates for those
proclaimed to be transgender to automatically be included in the
once small circle of True Transsexuals.
What I also find troubling is the Transgender term being
used by individuals to self-define themselves without evaluation
and diagnosis through the medical community as I and other
True Transsexuals have done.
The comparative is a Pandora’s Box, a veritable cornucopia
of self-diagnosed individuals that have no right to call
themselves a Transsexual. They are a detriment and a hazard to
the Transsexual and Transgender communities.

[73]
 If you recall the story of Pandora, you would remember that
the only thing remaining at the bottom of the jar after she had
unleashed its contents was hope.
Hope is something that human beings embrace as a means
of comfort. However, hope is always a future tense; you may
hope in five minutes things change and so forth.
The use of the word Transgender is filled with the hope that
Transsexuals will surrender and so adopt this term to describe
themselves. The use of the term Transgender by many in the
medical community when referring to the Transsexuals, in my
opinion, demonstrates a blatant disregard and a badger to the
face.
This is done so by way of non-recognition of the
Transsexual as being unique and distinguishable in the fact that
the True Transsexuals Gender Dysphoria once clinically
recognised as Gender Identity Disorder, as Transsexualism is not
a sexual orientation issue but rather, in fact, a Dysphoria issue,
and I hope you understand the difference.
This link validates my objection to the term Transgender.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender
• The terms pansexual, omnisexual, fluid and queer-
identified are regarded as falling under the umbrella term
bisexual (and therefore are considered a part of the bisexual
community). Likewise, the terms transsexual and intersex are
regarded by some people as falling under the umbrella term
transgender, though many transsexual and intersex people object
to this me included.
• Agender / genderless
• Androgyne
• Bigender (bi-gender)
• Cisgender/cissexual
• Genderqueer / non-binary
• Hijra
• Pangender

[74]
 • Queer heterosexuality
• Third gender / Third sex
• Trans man
• Trans woman
• Trigender (tri-gender)
• Two-Spirit
Transsexuals are uncomfortable with their birth gender thus
many, not all seek to correct their birth defect.
Note the Benjamin scale at no time refers to or defines the
Transsexual as being Transgender.
After reading the scale, I hope you are able to understand my
point of the differences.
The Harry Benjamin Gender Disorientation Scale also
references Doctor Alfred Kinsey’s Sexual Orientation Scale.
It should be noted that Dr. Kinsey’s' scale makes direct
reference to various intensities of homosexuality.
Whereas Doctor Benjamin’s’' scale does not at any time
establish a relationship between homosexuality and Gender
Identity, Gender Dysphoria.
Thereby and further debunking the myths and lies that
Transsexuals are primarily homosexuals when in fact the
majority of True Transsexuals are heterosexual, not homosexual.
http://genderpsychology.org/transsexual/benjamin_gd.html
It should be further understood that not all True Transsexuals
seek or have surgery, one such reason being financial and there
are others defined by intensity on the Harry Benjamin scale.
Here are the aforementioned TOPICs as so stated through
the wiki link I spoke of some time ago. Agender/ genderless,
Neutrious, Bi-Gender, Cisgender/ cissexual, Gender-queer,
Hijra, Pangender/ Queer Heterosexuality/ Third Gender/Third
Sex/ Trans-Man/ Trans-woman/ Tri Gender/ Two Spirit. Not one
of these Terms, (topics) or their definitions has ever applied to
me because I was diagnosed as an intense Transsexual.

[75]
 [I was successfully treated for my Gender dysphoria,
released and have no further need of care.] There are several
who have argued with me quite unsuccessfully in the multiple
proclamations claiming Transwomen and Transmen are in fact
Transsexual.
I am told now that it’s been around a bit longer, yet I am
unsure of when Transgender was adopted clinically as being
descript of Transsexual, by many in the medical field as well
those in the Transsexual community. Important note: the terms
Transgender and Transsexual are currently being used side by
side at surgical sites (GRS etc.)
An individual asserting the term Transgender as now being
inclusive of Transsexuals told me directly that the American
Psychiatric Association had amended the clinical description of
Transsexual.
The APA had changed the diagnosis Gender Identity
Disorder to Gender Dysphoria. In twenty-seventeen the APA
removed Genxder Dyphoria from DSM5.
I have found no proof of term Transgender replacing the
term Transsexual and when.
At this time, the individual further stated that the term
Transgender is an incorporative term of all gender-related issues,
thus it has been so placed, or shall I say shoved under the
umbrella term that was now alleged to be representative of the
Transsexual. She identified herself as being MTF Transgender,
not enrolled in a Gender Dysphoria evaluation program, never
had been in a program and further stating she was the third
gender and that made her Transsexual. Transgender does
represent a third gender validating my point that the clinical term
Transsexual is unique and has no place under the Transgender
umbrella.

[76]
 It is my understanding that the Transsexual is not exclusive
and completely inclusive in the gender variant category, as
gender variant individuals as those who express gender non-
conformity, that they may later define themselves as gay,
lesbian, bi-sexual. The academics are in dispute as to the
accuracies of the related studies.
I now offer you and example of the differences between the
gender variant and the Transsexual, or the adopted term
Transgender. Note the term gender variant and Transgender
(Transsexual) are stated as separate issues on many of the
documents titles.
Please use the link below from the American Psychiatric
Association. I would ask you to take your time and study this
document.
http://www.apa.org/about/policy/transgender.aspx
There are many Transsexuals, and I am meeting even more
now that not only agree with me in regard to the term transsexual
they are just as offended by the term Transgender and its various
meanings.

The Differences, Sexual Orientation, and

Gender Identity.
Sexual orientation pertains to whom you want to have
sex with.
Gender identity pertains to who you are; this applies to
heterosexuals as their physical and mind gender match,
whereas the transsexuals do not.
Thusly the Transsexual stepping out of denial
eventually seeks professional help to correct their physical
birth defect, as someone else would have been born without
an arm or leg.

[77]
 The Transsexual falls into the Gender Identity category
as the Transsexual individual defines themselves according
to who they truly are. Gender Identity does not apply to the
Intersexual individual.
http://www.intersexinitiative.org/articles/gid.html
Gender expression pertains to how we humans go
about expressing our identity.
Interesting fact is that those who are straight
(heterosexual), aka cis gender, fall under the Sexual
Orientation Umbrella because they prefer sex with the
opposite sex. Now aint that a kick in the pants?
This APA link explains and validates my statements.
http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/sexuality-
definitions.pdf
Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation are as different
as Apples and Grapefruits

Furthermore
My paramount concern with regard to this publication is the
Transsexual.
If I may remind you, once again the Benjamin scale at no
time uses the term Transgender, the term Transsexual is used.
Yet many in the medical community have adopted the
Transgender umbrella term however a Transsexual is not a
Transgender person according to the standards of care I was
taught in the nineteen nineties.
If someone steps into a doctors’ office for the first time and
fills out intake forms denoting sex as transgender what is the
doctor to think if he or she has no clue as to whether or not you
are a Transsexual. This places doctors and nurses in a query.

[78]
 Sound confusing, yes it does. I am going to say the medical
professional use of the term Transgender is applicable in non-
Transsexual diagnosis.
However, the Transgender term is being used alongside of
the Transsexual term by some SRS aka GRS surgeons.
Again, many Transgender individuals claim that the
diagnosis terminology has changed to wit I say their assertions
are based in adopted terminology that has blurred the lines
between Transsexual and Transgender.
Transsexual I am sure you will agree this is a bit confusing.
http://www.medicaldaily.com/what-difference-between-
transsexual-and-transgender-facebooks-new-version-its-
complicated-271389
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual
The DSM terminology and designations may have changed,
the Harry Benjamin scale has not, as to matters of diagnosis and
defining Transsexualism.
If you have any doubt look at the Topics again, do you think
that a gender variant bi-sexual or two-spirit person eagerly
pursues the correcting of a birth defect by means of GRS?
Wonder why the kind inquisitive everyday person seeking
knowledge, truths, and understandings with regarding the True
Transsexual are confused?
If I entered a hospital then and now the term, for a
Transsexual is Transsexual, not Transgender.
A nurse at a hospital once referred to me as Transgender and
I politely corrected her. She thanked me and asks me the
difference and I told her.
At one time Transsexuals used symbols much the same as
military insignia in order to recognise one and another. In
nineteen ninety-nine at a social event in Phila, Pa several asked
me why a GG, Gender Girls born with female body and mind,
would be wearing a pin and to their shock, I said I am a
Transsexual.

[79]
 There was but one symbol known to me to be associated
with the Transsexual in nineteen ninety-five.
Public confusion, Transvestites and Crossdressers
These individuals wear clothing usually worn by
people of the opposite biological sex. They do not,
however, identify themselves as having a gender identity
different from their biological sex or gender role. The
motivations for cross dressing vary, but most transvestites
enjoy cross dressing and may experience sexual excitement
from it. The vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual.
http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm

Transgender and Transsexual symbols

Transsexual and Transgender symbolism…..
Let it be understood that I do not wrap myself in any flag. I
have a Transsexual pin that was a gift. I have only worn this a
few times I dinnae wear a symbol to define me, because I sure as
hell know who I am.
The first symbol below is strictly for use by the Transsexual
and this is established fact. Let the confusion begin.
http://gendertalk.com/info/tgsymbol.shtml
Here is a quote from the abouve link.
“WHERE’D IT COME FROM?
“Don’t blame me, I didn’t invent it. Holly Boswell, in North
Carolina, drew it for Wendy Parker, who drew it for me and
suggested that I do something with it on my computer. Ever the
gullible puppy, I agreed to make a pin of it.
I made it of soft shapes, to connote gentility,
accommodation, permission. I placed it on a lavender triangle
cause it’s time we, the crossdressing – transsexual – transgender
community, took a stand in support of the gay community. I
chose bright blue for strength, and because I liked the way it
looked.

[80]
 I showed the design to as many folks as I could, and they all
said “We like it. Go for it.”
Note: The quote below.
”I placed it on a lavender triangle cause it’s time we,
the crossdressing – transsexual – transgender community,
Took a stand in support of the gay community.”
This quote being made by the author Nancy is misleading in
the fact that the True Transsexual is not a crossdresser. It’s
accurate to say the statement was designed to misdirect the
public into thinking that a crossdresser is a Transsexual.
No doubt, Nancy a self-proclaimed crossdresser created the
dialog first affirms this as she places her crossdressing first.
Please note the words” ’cause it’s time we, the crossdressing –
transsexual – transgender community, took a stand in support of
the gay community.
The Gay community has little in common with the
Transsexual community other than equal rights and oppression.
A Transsexual is defined by their Gender Identity whereas the
Homosexual just like the Heterosexual individuals are defined by
their sexual orientation.
Sexual orientation is about who you want to have sex
with. Gender Identity (The Transsexual) is a statement of
who you are as a human being.
Once again, the public is confused by misrepresentation of
the Transsexual, not Transgender.
Here is a nineteen ninety-five examples by way of a book
written by Sheila Kirk M.D and Martine Rothblatt, J.D.
The Books title is Medical, Legal, and Workplace issues
for the Transsexual.
Sheila gave me a signed copy of this book when it was
published in 1995; she later wrote me a personal letter.

[81]
 Martine and Shelia have considerably more credibility and
are much more authoritive in their statements as they are not lay
people like Holly Bosworth, Wendy Parker, and crossdresser
Nancy R. Nangeroni.
Nancy used Holly’s concept to generate a design and final
product. Martine and Shelia are selling truth and facts, not team
logos.
The purple Triangle was given and presented to me during
my transition in nineteen ninety-five.
If the assertions being made by Nancy who dialoged the
“Where Did it Come From” why then is the clinical term
Transsexual and only the term Transsexual used in Martine
and Sheila’s book title and throughout the book without mention
of Transgender?
During my transition, the symbol below was used to identify
one’s self as Transsexual not Transgender.

In nineteen ninety-nine, long after my completed transition,

the Transgender pride flag was created by Monica Helms.
The flag was first displayed in Phoenix, Arizona pride
celebration in the year two thousand. Therefore, the lines were
blurred obscuring the differences between Transgender and
Transsexual.

[82]
 Next is the Alternate Transgender Flag flown in Ottawa, Canada
at the two thousand and ten Transgender Day of remembrance.
This day has been set aside for Transsexuals who had been
murdered in that year. There is that word Transgender again.

Here is yet another symbol for the Transsexual, not

Transgender.

There is no debate with me over the accurate representation

and presentation of the Transsexual. As I said earlier on,
terminology may have changed but truth and fact have not.
The only way I would be accepting of any symbol regarding
the Transsexual would be a Transsexual, not Transgender,
individual design a symbol exclusively representative of the
Transsexual, not the Transgender community.
There are currently over seventy-six symbols worldwide
representing Transgender individuals. There are only two
symbols known to me that represent the Transsexual.

[83]
This article was written by Suzan X-
3/17/2012
Transgender Borg Passive Aggressive.
I just love it when a transgender, particularly someone
who pulls out the Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Dalai Lama
pacifist number, engages in this particularly nasty act of
passive aggressiveness.
Many of you no doubt have heard it or been subject to
it, particularly if you are a post-transsexual woman who has
“abandoned the community” i.e. avoids the Transgender
Borg like the plague.
If one of the Borg figures out you are one of those evil
“transsexual elitist/separatists”, who considers the
“Community” to be filled with self-destructive folks with
bad habits like substance abuse and street prostitution…
Or a culture that has little appeal like drag shows and
fashion obsession…

Then the dialogue proceeds as follows:

Yadda, yadda… Of course, I support hate crimes laws
and trans-inclusive ENDA, non-discrimination laws etc.
But I’ve grown far beyond where I was when I had SRS
many years ago. I have other causes that I’m more
involved in, I was never involved all that much in the
Transgender Culture because I was involved in other scenes
etc.…
This goes through the Transgender Borg jargon
translator machine and results in the poor pathetic little cult
member guilt bombing you with: “So you’ve got your
surgery and now it’s fuck off for all those poor unfortunate
folks who don’t.”

[84]
 “I don’t understand how you can be so callous as to not
want to devote your entire life and being to the helping of
your poor victim Transgender Borg sisters oh um and
brothers?”
It may be cold on my part but I had sex reassignment
surgery to deal with a very personal problem of having
been born transsexual. I had hopes and dreams that didn’t
involve obsessing on transsexualism. Those dreams didn’t
involve becoming an unpaid social-worker/missionary for
the majorly dysfunctional Transgender Community.
Once upon a time, transsexuals had sex change
operations to integrate into the world of women or men as
the case might be. Now days instead of actually becoming
part of women as a class, or men as a class, one is expected
to celebrate one’s glorious “gender variance”.
Say what? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with the reasons I
had a sex change operation.
If one has their surgery and moves on because they can
and because life is easier if you leave your t-shirt that
proclaims your transsexual history in the memory trunk
rather than wearing it and getting in people’s face about
your history; well then you are guilty of exercising
“passing privilege.”
Well Yeah… Dooh… What you have snidely labeled
“passing privilege” is being an ordinary woman or man and
is the whole fucking point of getting SRS.
But we never say that because we’re really nice… Well
actually no…

[85]
 We don’t throw that extra Molotov because we’ve
learned that if we do hordes of bizarre transgender hungry
ghosts will haunt us for months, comment bombing our
blogs and trashing us on their blogs.
Those of us who have been there and done that know
what predictable passive-aggressive club will be used next.
The one that goes:
“I hope you never find yourself beaten and bleeding to
death on some dark corner because some transphobe read
you and decided to cut your throat.”
Gee… Nice one. I just love the way you wrapped that
nasty little piece of hate in a warm fuzzy concern blanket.
I had a pretty neat mom , she was realistic enough about
who I was as a kid to teach me to be afraid of being alone
on dark street corners and to be extra careful about men I
might say yes to. Then because I more or less shunned
Transworld while I was coming out I had natal women
friends drive those same lessons home.
Then I had an incident, which I was a knife-edge away
from being murdered.
I learned. I studied martial arts and learned. I carried
weapons both legal and sometimes illegal. But mostly I
learned to avoid danger.
But along the way, I learned a few other vitally
important self-defense skills. One of those is the ability to
recognize con games and manipulation.
There is something exceedingly nasty about
Transgender Borg passive-aggression.

[86]
 It has some of the worst sex/gender stereotypes this
side of the Men’s Rights Movement and it plays on
emotional blackmail.
Then the TG Borg guilt trip post-transsexual women
who call them on their bullshit.

Note from author. I placed this piece in the book

because I could not have said these things better myself.
Suzan’s views as conveyed in her article mirror my
own in many ways. I applaud her for taking the time to
share these views with the public via the internet.

Will there be photos of you in the book?

There are no personal photos of me in Through the
Darkness. I withheld these as I wanted those who read the
book to put their own faces and those of loved ones or
friends who may are transsexual or transgender.
I am told I am quite beautiful to look at, nevertheless,
physical beauty fades the most important part of my life is
my family and being a decent and compassionate person.
I said nothing of tolerant. I am not going to tolerate
someones abuse. I have zero tolerance for irrational,
judgemental, dogmatist, hate-filled, willfully ignorant,
galactically stupid, religious imbeciles along with
narcissistic soul-less grifters.

[87]
The Transsexual/Transgender subculture
I feel today's Transsexuals are being falsely portrayed through
the ignorance and contravention of individuals who falsely
present them in a manner that paints the true Transsexual as
some twisted cult cartoon, custom built to suit the ego-
eccentrically neurosis of those seeking to harm the Transsexual.
The term Transgender (Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld has been
credited with the term Transgender and his studies talked about
Gender Identity mind you this is back in the 1920's) Over a
decade ago the Transsexual term was phased out and although
some GRS, SRS, etc. Surgeons use the term Transsexual they
also tend to place the Transgender term next to it.
(IMHO this is one of the worst things to ever happen to the
Transsexual) The Transgender umbrella terminology has
expanded to encompass so much I find the ambiguity troubling.
Thusly the Transgender term continues to blur the lines by
obscuring the vast differences between the Transsexual and the
one size fits all Transgender term, well one size does not fit all.
Many Transgender individuals do not present clinically as a
Transsexual, by use of the Transgender term it enables
disingenuous individuals to embed themselves in Transgender
communities. These same individuals then claim to be
Transsexual when they are not in treatment and have not been
diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, or as myself have completed
transition thereby doing harm to the True Transsexual. They do
however wreak havoc within the LGBT community at times.
The Transgender Umbrella enables the pretender to remain
safely in the Transgender community.
A community that has become so diverse the majority of it has
less than nothing to do with representing the Transsexual’s goals
and issues than a duck has need of a motorcycle.
Every time I hear a self-proclaiming Transgender person say in
the course of conversation “Hello Trans here" I cringe.

[88]
 The majority, not all, as few are Transsexuals, of these
individuals by their actions alone continually misrepresent the
Transsexual thus creating a negative public image of the
Transsexual. With the public, a picture speaks a thousand words.
Should one who knows nothing about Transsexualism look
at the photos of the individuals making these false assertions on
a Facebook page they may form a negative opinion.
This would be based on many of the outrageous
photographic and written examples further misrepresenting the
Transsexual.
Said actions of these individuals can be a detriment to the
Transsexual and those in the open-minded public seeking
accurate knowledge, did I say public.
This negative stereotype may also find its way into the lives
of those who have completed the transition process like me.
Should it become necessary for one to disclose their Gender
Identity it may cause a significant problem for the individual
they are speaking with as well the stealth Transsexual
themselves. Not everyone in the public is ignorant and hateful as
many are quite open to the Transsexual, they may have questions
and as long as they are tasteful I would answer them.
Please note I said Transsexual, not Transgender.
Nevertheless, such a disclosure by a Transsexual and or
Transgender individual does not warrant their being abused by
anyone at any time regardless of any bullshit reason given
because abusing anyone has no justification. The moment
someone starts quoting the bible the conversation ends because I
leave.
In closing, removing the separate and unique status that
distinguishes the differences between the Transsexual and the
Transgender continues to do more harm than good.

[89]
 I did not author this piece. I do know Kelley Glanney in
passing and permit me to say I have the uttmost respect for both
her work and her person..

Transphobia within the Trans community.

Internalized Transphobia has long been our communities
'elephant in the room - something that virtually all of us
experience to varying degrees at some point in our journey, but
something many of us finds extremely difficult to recognize,
openly acknowledge and/or speak openly about with other Trans
people
This is an incredibly important issue for our community
because all too often Internalized Transphobia is the single
biggest impediment for us as individuals in learning to love
ourselves and to fully embracing the fact that we are worthy of
love of others
Laverne Cox wrote this wonderful op-ed about Internalized
Transphobia back in 2011 (here http://huff.to/1LTsRkl ) and said
something we wholeheartedly agree with
“I don't think we're going to be able to fully come together as
a community politically until each of us can confront our own
internalized transphobia and how it affects how we treat
ourselves and each other:”
Laverne was referring to the degree to which Internalized
Transphobia can often play a major role in the degree to which
many of us struggle to find commonality with other Tran’s
people whose identities or lifestyle choices don’t reflect their
own.
CRMT Director Kelly Glanney has been speaking publically
about Internalized Transphobia and the part it plays in both the
mental health crisis our community is currently experiencing for
many years.

[90]
 One such occasion was at the 2014 Australian and New
Zealand Professional Association for Transgender Health where
Kelly discussed the role Internalized Transphobia plays in much
of the Lateral Hostility ( http://on.fb.me/1GhhnEB) we all too
often see between Transgender individuals and groups (see video
here http://bit.ly/1PQ24ED)
Internalized Transphobia refers to negative feelings that we
have developed towards ourselves and/or other trans or gender
non conforming people as we struggle to come to terms with our
own gender variance or difference.
These feelings take many forms and can vary from low-level
feelings of shame, denial, or feeling as if others are judging us
harshly, right through to literally hating ourselves and/or other
Trans, Intersex and other gender diverse people.
Internalized Transphobia is a form of Internalized
Oppression, the name given to the psychological processes via
which a member (or members) of an oppressed or marginalized
social group comes to accept and live out inaccurate myths and
stereotypes applied to the group by its oppressors.
When finding ourselves marginalized/stigmatized/oppressed
over extended periods of time, we begin to absorb or internalize
many of the myths and negative stereotypes which the
oppressive dominant culture perpetuates about us.
Over time, consciously or not, as we're repeatedly
bombarded with negative messages about ourselves from the
dominant culture in which we live, we come to believe some of
those messages. They become part of our own worldview –
informing both the way we see ourselves and becoming the
prism through which we view others – especially other Tran’s
people
The factors which cause Internalized Transphobia are
complex but in many ways very similar to those which make
cisgender people transphobic or homophobic.

[91]
 We aren't born hating ourselves or hating other people who
are different – these are primarily learned behaviours and beliefs
which we develop over time in a response to various stimuli
As Trans people, many of us have grown up in a world
surrounded by ideas, ideologies and messaging that reinforces
the idea that being Trans is abnormal, disgusting, shameful – that
being Trans is some form of sexual perversion – that failing to
conform to traditional conservative norms of sex and gender
makes us less than human.
When we internalized those ideas – when, consciously or
not, these toxic ideas get absorbed into our own belief and value
systems, it often makes it very difficult for us to like ourselves or
to like other Trans people. If we're unaware how much these
toxic ideas are influencing our emotions and perspectives,
internalized Transphobia can make us prone to depression,
anxiety, and self-destructive behaviours.
Internalized transphobia manifests itself in varying ways and
over time can seriously undermine our sense of well being and
mental health. Some examples include:
01. Denial of your gender and/or sexual orientation to
yourself and others.
02. Attempts to alter or change your gender identity and/or
sexual orientation.
03. Constantly self-doubt - feeling you are never good
enough.
04. Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive
behaviours.
05. Under-achievement, procrastination or alternatively
constantly striving to over-achieve in a bid for acceptance.
06. Low self-esteem, negative body image.
07. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the
LGBT community.

[92]
 08. Contempt for gender questioning people or those still in
the early stages of transition.
09. Denial that transphobia, heterosexism, biphobia or
sexism are serious social problems.
10. Contempt for those that are not like ourselves and/or
contempt for those who seem like ourselves. Sometimes
distancing ourselves from other LGBTIQ people by engaging
(consciously or not) in homophobic or transphobic behaviours –
ridicule, harassment, verbal or physical attacks on LGB people
or other Trans and Intersex people.
11. Projection of prejudice onto another target group.
12. Becoming psychologically abused or abusive or
remaining in an abusive relationship.
13. Attempts to pass as cisgender and/or heterosexual,
sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social
approval or in hope of ‘being cured’.
14. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives.
15. Shame or depression; defensiveness; anger or bitterness.
16. School truancy or dropping out of school. Also,
workplace absenteeism or reduced productivity.
17. Continual self-monitoring of one’s behaviours,
mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.
18. Clowning as a way of acting out society’s negative
stereotypes.
19. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community
leaders or opinion leaders.
20. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for
fear of being seen as a pedophile.
21. Conflicts with the law.
22. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking
behaviours-including risk for HIV and other STIs.
23. Separating sex and love, or fear of intimacy. Sometimes
low or lack of sexual drive or celibacy.

[93]
 24. Substance abuse, including drink and drugs.
25. Thinking about suicide, attempting suicide or committing
suicide.
Whether we realize it or not, we’re often deeply hurt and
affected by all of the self-doubt, hate and discrimination we
experience as Trans people. It’s never a conscious choice to live
with Internalized Transphobia, but we definitely have to make a
conscious choice to change it
That change can begin by making contact with a local
support group.

Interesting read from Jessica Nuaimi

https://prezi.com/ej37b81_unhp/transgender-as-deviance/

How to spot a Transsexual and Transgender

online troll.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/how-to-spot-
antitrans-con_b_8055816.html
I suggest that everyone read this carefully as those who are
Transsexual will find information to invalidate the current lies
being floated by the media, politicians and the clergy. This will
also be of great use to one wishing to understand the
Transsexual/ Transgender as it also points to other issues such as
Transvestites, female impersonators, drag queens etc.
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html

The Cait Jenner question

Not worthy of a discussion.

[94]
Everyday life and relationships.
Beware the Personality Disorders
The Transsexual and or Transgender individual should be
aware and cautionary of individuals such as this all the times.
Those who are fake Christians are perhaps the most threatening
but I have met worse. You will meet many of these people
online, my advice is dinnae engage them in an argument. Once
they begin to rant and name-call, anything you say will fuel their
fire, so walk away.
These individuals have no empathy, no compassion, no
conscience, no remorse, and no care for harming their victims.
Should you encounter one in public be aware many are capable
of extreme physical violence!
http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/2015/11/02/how-to-spot-a-
person-with-a-toxic-personality-disorder/
http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-cluster-b/
http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-histrionic-
personality-disorder/
http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-a-narcopath/
http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/2016/01/17/daily-word-search-
reminder-read-more-about-narcissistic-abuse/

The Mythical Transsexual Child Molester lie.

This is but one of the vulgar lies being used as a justification
to hate and harm transsexuals.
The molestation accusation is not only patently false it is a
bold-faced lie spouted by uneducated momes.
I have found no evidence to support the claims that a child
living with a true transsexual parent or being in the company of a
true transsexual was sexually molested by a transsexual.

[95]
The majority of pedophiles are straight men and women.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia
http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Pedophilia.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_dysphoria
http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx
Let me say this, the gay and Tran’s men, and woman I know
would beat the living shit out of anyone trying to molest a child.
Related material on Pedophilia
BOOKS
American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Fourth edition, text
revised. Washington DC: American Psychiatric Association,
2000.
Gelder, Michael, Richard Mayou, and Philip
Cowen. Shorter Oxford Textbook of Psychiatry. 4th ed. New
York: Oxford University Press, 2001.
Wilson, Josephine F. Biological Foundations of
Human Behavior. New York: Harcourt, 2002.
PERIODICALS
Berlin, F. S. "Treatments to change sexual
orientation." American Journal of Psychiatry 157, no. 5 (2000):
838-839.
Cohen, L. J., and others. "Impulsive personality traits in male
pedophiles versus healthy controls: Is pedophilia an impulsive-
aggressive disorder?" Comprehensive Psychiatry 43, no. 2
(2002): 127-134.
Hill, S. A. "The man who claimed to be a pedophile." Journal of
Medical Ethics 26, no. 2 (2000): 137-138.
O'Donohue, W., L. G. Regev, and A. Hagstrom. "Problems with
the DSM-IV diagnosis of pedophilia.” Sexual Abuse 12, no. 2
(2000): 95-105.

[96]
 ORGANIZATIONS
American Academy of Family Physicians. 11400 Tomahawk
Creek Parkway, Leawood, KS 66211-2672. Phone: (913) 906-
6000. Web site: <http://www.aafp.org> .
American Academy of Pediatrics. 141 Northwest Point
Boulevard, Elk Grove Village, IL 60007-1098. Telephone: (847)
434-4000. Fax: (847) 434-8000. Web
site: <http://www.aap.org/default.htm> .
American Medical Association. 515 N. State Street, Chicago, IL
60610. Telephone: (312) 464-5000. Web site: <http://www.ama-
assn.org> .
American Psychiatric Association. 1400 K Street NW,
Washington, DC 20005. Telephone: (888) 357-7924. Fax :( 202)
682-6850.
American Psychological Association. 750 First Street NW,
Washington, DC, 20002-4242. Phone: (800) 374-2721 or (202)
336-5500. Web site: <http://www.apa.org> .
L. Fleming Fallon, Jr., M.D., Dr.P.H.
Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-
Ps/Pedophilia.html#ixzz43qZtxCUe

Transsexual/ Transgender a target for the

sexual sadist.
http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Sexual-sadism.html

The Homophobe
Guess who is aroused by homosexual acts.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u47/Henry_et_al.pdf
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014
http://www.philosophy-
religion.org/handouts/homophobia.htm

[97]
Transphobia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transphobia
http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/transphobia/
http://mypage.direct.ca/h/hrp/gendertr.html

The mental illness and behavioural disorders

of Transphobe’s.
Here are a few disorders, pay close attention the behavioural
descriptions. Narcissists, Machiavellians, Psychopaths, Everyday
Sadists
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-
personality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-
disorders/basics/symptoms/con-20030111
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-
personality-disorder/index.shtml
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-murder-and-
the-meaning-life/201412/the-four-dark-personality-traits

It’s not always about religion.

1. The scenarios bigot. If someone starts off by saying I
identify, {for instance}, as a dog, car, tractor, car, toaster, they
are without a doubt ignorant and a bigot and quite possibly a
Christian bigot. Please do not engage these dobbers in
conversation they only wish to pick a fight.
2. The self- righteous. Bible Scripture bigot. It is my life
experience that anyone who quotes a Bible to you has a nasty
agenda and odds are you are their target.
3. The I have the facts right here, bigot. Anyone quoting
McHugh’s opinions or citing research in Sweden is hoping you
did not read the truth about the right winger McHugh, or the
Swedish study.

[98]
 Anything else that comes out of their mouth is a lie as well.
Generally, these types skulk around camouflaged as concern
trolls or fishermen and women, they throw a question out there
and the moment you answer they pounce. Please do not waste
your time on them.
4. The let me tell you I am a doctor, lawyer or Indian chief
bigots and haters, you should see right through them merely by
looking at their vocabulary.
5. The we should kill all Tran’s people, or I will kill you
psychotic hater. Notify the website and if the threat is directed at
you call the police at once!
6. Those that incessantly rain on everyone’s feckin parade.
Transsexuals are just one of their targets, anyone who comes into
contact with one of these monsters whether it be web, email,
publically, and or privately they will make every moment you
are with them a living hell.
These are equal opportunity assholes; they see everyone as
inferior and beneath them. They are in a class all by themselves,
if you come into contact with one your only option is to run.
http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/what-is-a-narcopath/
If you wish to know the pathology of the non-threatening
bigots, please use the psychology resource links throughout the
book. Categorically most of the threat makers are no less nasty
then all day nasty buggers. Most fall under the typical Cluster B
personality and or the Narcissistic, and or Sadist or the sexual
sadist.
http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Sexual-sadism.html
One or two may have a serious psychosis, hell for the sake of
argument lets say they all do. On a good day, you may even see a
Machiavellian out and about. Lastly, do not fret about the jerks
online for in reality they would never dare saying anything to
you in public and if you should address one personally they
would probably pish their breeks.
\

[99]
 Living dangerously romance and truth.
Several of the Transsexuals I have met over the years, I only
know of three, and even as a public figure, I have tried to
maintain a deeply private life which is now becoming more
difficult since my disclosure last year.
Nonetheless, these individuals went about matters of the
heart in a way that may have cost them their lives.
I attempted to explain this and was told I dinnae know their
situation.
In these matters, I have more common sense and more
respect for those I may have become involved with because I
placed, honour, honesty, trust and truth abouve all else.
The worst thing a woman can do to a man is make a fool of
him; before I permitted anyone to hold my hand I told them in a
kind way aboot myself. I dinnae want to begin any relationship
with deception especially when I was speaking of matters of the
heart. Aside from this, you lied to yourself and lived in denial of
who you truly are for years, and then you sought professional
help. What was the point if you are going to turn around and lie
about yourself again to gain favour with someone in a
relationship you know is doomed to fail because of your
deception!
Yes, I had met men and no I was not looking for them, some
wanted only to hook up.
There were others who sought a vulgar relationship for some
sick twisted reasons and there were those who left before I let
them as much as hug me. Two of these men thanked me for
being so honest a third just loved me, and so he asked me to
marry him and I said yes. He died less than a year later of
cancer; he hid his illness from me as we lived apart.
Treasure every moment with someone you love!

[100]
 Honesty, respect, truth, and trust make a relationship strong,
deception and lies by not revealing your past will bring you
nothing but tears, and pain.

A Myth and a Lie about Marriage

As to the question of a transsexuals or homosexuals marrying
their dog or a fish, marriage has been conveniently defined as a
contract between two consenting human adults, sanctioned by a
deity, deity does not automatically equal organised religion.
Guess who inserted the deity!
The issue is totally irrelevant simply because not all people
practice organised religion. Two examples would be the legal
authority of a magistrate or judge to perform marriages. Deity
itself is not state or government defined to do that would be
unconstitutional.
This matter is between you and your deity if you have one.
Transsexuals can marry, after GRS, and since the recognition of
equal rights, as guaranteed by the 14th amendment post op,
Transsexual women and men can remain married to their
spouses. Many spouses continue to live side by side as best
friends after all if they were not friends why did they get married
in the first place.
More to the point why did they get married at all if you were
not a best friend and please dinnae tell me it was about the sex.
You have as much chance in my believing that as you would
have had buttering a Cougars erse in a phone booth on a hot
summer day. I have seen no evidence supporting the claims that
Canada or any nation recognising same-sex marriage has been
petitioned by anyone in order to marry a feckin farm animal; the
suggestion is revolting.
Really now? What is the pathology of someone who even
thinks in such terms?

[101]
 What manner of low creatures goes about daily life with such
ugly things eating at their grape-sized brains? Tap dancin Jesus
keep them away from the sheep, can I get an amen on that?

Gender Dysphoria is not a mental Illness

” It shall be noted that In early twenty-seventeen the APA
removed Gender Dysphoria from DSM5.
DPrtior to this the disorder, not a mental illness, was so
noted in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders (DSM) dinnae qualify gender dysphoria as a state of
emotional distress caused by how the gender someone was
designated at birth conflicts with the gender identity as a mental
disorder. This condition only affects some Tran’ people. The
DSM Medical Diagnosis of Transsexual was changed to Gender
Dysphoria in twenty-thirteen by the American Psychiatric
Association. This was done in order to remove the stigma,
disorder, attached to Gender Identity thereby establishing the
fact that Gender Dysphoria is a treatable condition, not a
permanent disorder.
However, if left untreated it can lead to suicide, depression
and a host of other problems.
I use the terms Gender Identity and Gender Dysphoria
throughout the book as being one in same. I was taught the
correct medical diagnosis in nineteen ninety-five for myself was
Gender Identity Disorder.
If one were issued the same diagnosis, today the correct
medical term would be Gender Dysphoria.
It is clearly understandable that a stigma is attached to the
word disorder, as being a mental disorder. Society assumes a
mental disorder to be a permanent mental illness when in fact it
is not.
“The very essence of happiness is being truly happy within
your true self"
quote by Kath Campbell May 29, 2017

[102]
 If you would like to know more about Transgender and
Transsexual individuals go to the link below and hit the ninth
topic.” How do transsexuals make a gender transition?”
http://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender.aspx

Gender Definitions important read.

http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm

Q: Are Transsexuals gay.

A: Anyone can be gay.

Transsexual Exploitation
I will not address the issue of Transsexual porn industry,
except to say it has presented yet another false image and
negative example to the public’s perception of the Transsexual.
Ask yourself why are upstanding Hetero Christian Citizens
watching (not transsexual as it may be called) Gay porn? Makes
ya think don’t it?
. Although some Transsexuals are driven to sex work as a
means of survival generally speaking, the majority are not.

The “did you have sex” question

This matter is no one’s business.

[103]
Are Transsexuals confused about their gender?
Children under eighteen know their gender although several
doctors have disputed this fact they have not presented evidence
to support their assertions. Adult transsexual’s are not confused
either, I’m not.
Please take a moment to cut and paste the appropriate links for
more information.
Those making unqualified declarations alleging transsexual
confusion in adult’s dinnae know who or what the feck they are
let alone who anyone else. The link below is to the
'The American Academy of Pediatrics. 'Their
information is authentic and they are not a hate group.
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/132/1
/198.full.pdf
The American college of pediatrics is a fringe anti
Transgender hate group! Note this organization is a well
known radicle Christian hate group.
http://cnsnews.com/commentary/j-matt-barber/american-
college-pediatricians-transgender-conditioning-child-abuse
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2016/03/22/3762261/pediatricia
n-hate-group/
You will find a lot of these fringe anti Tran’s groups online.
Their names alone can be misleading. Always authenticate your
sources and if in doubt contact the LGBT alliance.
The link below is to the 'The American Academy of Pediatrics.'
Their information is authentic as they are not a hate group
List of active hate groups. This list is not complete
https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-
report/2015/active-anti-lgbt-groups
Debunking the mass hysteria and stupidity of
who uses what Bathroom.

[104]
 statements with regard to true transsexual individuals and their
use of a public bathroom. I am speaking to those who research
by proclamation, not investigation and dinnae bother us with
facts our minds are already made up.
Do you really think that a Male to Female Transsexual would
put themselves through the darkness and fires of hell transition,
and for some of us GRS just to molest someone in a public
bathroom with a surgically created vagina? How is it possible for
a Female to Male Transsexual, using a men’s room, to sexually
assault someone with a penile implant?
How is it that a Male to Female Transsexual would be in a
men’s bathroom as their place is in the women room.
Permit me to reiterate how would a pre-op or non-op Male to
Female Transsexual sexually assault someone in a ladies
convenience room with a flaccid penis that’s’ only function is to
urinate because of hormones?
When I transitioned the stiffest thing on me was my feckin big
toe.
The arguments being sent forth by the collective sexually
obsessed so-called righteous politicians and clergy are the
dumbest uneducated shit fur brains baseless galactically stupid
suppositions of this century. Jesus someone educate these
flipping dobbers and by all means do not let them near, children,
sheep, guns, or farm machinery and never public office.
The solution to this ignorance is not in a bible.
The Bible to the fake Christian is the source of their disregard
for the words of their Jesus, love one and another not kill one
and another, not oppress, and hate each other.
These people are so busy judging and hating they refuse to see
the shit they are in regarding their own eternal souls.
The New Testament and all that Christ taught is being pished
on not by those you oppress but by you. What would your Jesus
say? To those who prattle on in such mania it’s a good
possibility you are in need of therapy.

[105]
 It is my opinion that you are desperately in need of
psychological evaluation in order to address your sexual
obsessions and Levitical psychosis. Fact, not opinion is you low
foreheaded idjits are so immersed in such degenerate, and
unnatural obsession with children it causes me great concern for
my grandchildren’s safety.
Which gives birth to another question? Why are you sick-
minded individuals so obsessed with such deviant and depraved
acts with children?
They say the best defence is a good offence, perhaps you arse
bandits are suppressing your own sexual desires. One who
speaks the loudest in order to overpower their chosen foe is the
individual who is always wrong. Denial is not just a river lads
and lassies!
In this year, twenty-fifteen on the issues of acceptance and
legalities of said issues having to do with the Transsexual are
still in desperate need of work through cooperation, not
condemnation. America just re-elected the same crooked hateful
lunatics and placed them back in Congress and in charge of the
asylum. These people have attacked equality and marriage rights
with no mercy, their next victims will be those in the
Transsexual and Transgender community.
Those in hot pursuit of denying someone the basic use of a
waste depository are not strong; they are frightened and weak
little people, preaching mid evil sky is falling fuckery.
Let’s hear from those in authority regarding the issue.
What right-wing groups say will happen if states implement
laws to protect Transsexual/Transgender individuals from
discrimination.
1. Statement from Peter Sprigg, Family Research Council
“sexual predators would have legitimised access to woman’s
restroom’s.”
2. Statement of Texas Values, Laws would allow “sexual
predator’s easier access to their targets.”

[106]
 3 Statement by Pacific Justice Institute, Laws would be
“abused” and “exploited” by sexual predators.
Let’s set aside the blind ignorance of the right and look at the
truth based in and presented as fact by officials in states that
have laws protecting Transsexuals and Transgender individuals.
1. Nevada, Las Vegas police dept., no problems since passage
of 2011 law.
2. Vermont: Karen Richards, Human rights commission “Not
aware” of any problems since the 2001 law.
3. Michael D. Evora executive director of Rhode Island
Human Rights Commission, “No increased in sex crimes due to
2001 law.”
4. Jim O’Neil spokesman for Connecticut Commission on
Human Rights in Opportunities. “Unaware of any sexual assault
as a result of the CT Gender Identity of Expression law.”
5. Charlie Burr spokesman for Oregon labour and Industries”
Zero Allegations of Bathroom sexual assault.”
6. Amy Snierson director of Maine Human rights commission,
“No Factual Basis “for sexual assault fears.”
Now I ask those of you who would make unqualified absurd
http://mediamatters.org/research/2014/03/20/15-experts-debunk-
right-wing-transgender-bathro/198533

[107]
 Society the validation of ones true self.
The following truth is also condensed. Much of the content has
been toned down out of respect for underage readers.
I believe every Transsexual needs to validate them self after
entering transitioning.
I did so and at first, it was a most unpleasant experience.
The majority of hate and bigotry directed at me was from
town locals where I lived at that time.
When I relocated, I moved from the fire to the frying pan I
address this issue to more extent in another article.
Acceptance by society is only important simply because you
are living as who you truly are and must be able to function as a
member of society through assimilation in accordance with your
true gender. Please keep in mind you must also accept society on
an as is basis and through kindness, many will accept you.
Fact! The world does not revolve around you!
The painful reality is society dinnae give one shat aboot you
let alone your acceptance issues. Unless someone wants to harm
you or collect money or favours from you in one way or another
trust me they dinnae care. I knew this myself from the start, but
try explaining this view to some over anxious transitioning soul
who has passed their first six-month mark.
I had met a few, not all, Transsexuals in the nineties that
expressed the firm belief that society owed them acceptance and
respect because of their suffering, as Kath shakes her head. Some
of us attempted to enlighten these individuals on the realities of
respect and acceptance.
The view that society owes you something or that society
owes anyone anything is balderdash. You want acceptance and
respect you can earn it just like everyone else.

[108]
On Transsexual/Transgender Discrimination.
It may shock you but there are only 12 states that I am aware
of as of this publication that provides legal protections for sexual
orientation, and gender identity including job discrimination. In
many states, you can be refused housing, jobs, medical care
exception being Medicare and Medicaid patients, and in some
places service in an eatery.
I have was impolitely asked to leave a local eatery in nineteen
ninety-eight, upon disclosure of transition status I was also told
to leave several doctors’ offices.
Imagine being deathly ill and being refused care because of
your gender identity; this happens somewhere at some time in
the United States every day. It has happened to me!
The bigots would have you believe that Transsexual equality
amounts to special rights and should not be compared to the civil
right movement of the nineteen sixties in which both black and
white Americans stood side by side with Doctor Martin Luther
King.
The bigots are wrong and their neocon Christian terrorist
supporters are wrong.
There are Christians who say we are not all like this, to you I
say get aff yer erses and take your religion back.
The Anti-American Christian armies of darkness have turned
yer religion into a fascist theocracy just as radicle Islamist seek
to do to their people.
In Pennsylvania today it is still legal to discriminate against
Transsexual and Transgender people, on non-public housing,
health care, and jobs.
Hospitals such as UPMC Pittsburgh are all inclusive and do
not practice any type or form of discrimination. In Pennsylvania,
the Commonwealth only provides sexual orientation and gender
identity protections for state employment only.

[109]
 Many in the commonwealth think Transsexuals are protected
from discrimination by Commonwealth law and they are wrong.
It’s odd that the hateful are so well versed in this fact it says to
me these individuals are capable of learning the real issues but
choose to hate.

The Media, “if I took your clothes off what

would I see?”
Let me begin by saying anyone asking such a question
should be ashamed of themselves. I dinnae hear any of the same
news anchors asking people like Scarlett Johansson the same
question. The person asking such inappropriate questions of a
Transsexual has no respect for themselves or anyone else.
The Transsexual is just another source by which to feed their
own sexual depravity and sick twisted curiosity to jet up their
ratings.
What would I see if I took your clothes off? Nothing the
interview is over good-bye!

The Special Rights argument.

When people make the dumb ass statement that Transsexual
and Transgender individuals want special rights it makes me
want tae boak.
Do these right wing Anti-American terrorist mean special as
in paying no taxes like the Churches, who are now a political
entity and contributor to their psychotic mummy and daddy
issues. Or do they mean the special right to eat at whatever
restaurant they wish, find a job without being denied the job then
called a Freak or IT by the prospective employer because you’re
Transsexual or Transgender?
Or do they mean the right to live where they want, or obtain
health care or maybe it’s the right to worship the way they want
or be who you are not be made to live by someone else religious
and political views?

[110]
 The aforementioned are all things that everyday Americans,
except LGBTQI Americans, do in their daily life without fear, or
threat of bullying, belittlement, beating, or murder.
You know who has special rights? Everyone except the
LGBTQI American that’s who.
American used to be a free country! I am affronted by these
freggin erse-hats standing in front of my American flag and
declaring they will fight against equality, said every flippin right
wing nut. I can not find any degree of positive benefit to an
American who embraces unqualified opinions of uneducated
cretins over scientific facts. What I see is wretched lunacy as
they walk down the path to religions fascism. By dividing
Americans and creating two classes of people one more equal
than the other it will start a physical revolution.
One of these erseholes I think it was Cruz, said he would
leave interracial marriage to the states? The matter was already
decided in the courts so he wants to spend taxpayer dollars to
repeal a law that has tenure.
Tap dancin Jesus put them all in a five-pound sack and shake
it, no matter who pops out it the same shit.
How can people stand and cheer these bigots and racist?
Those who do are in for a big surprise when something they are
doing displeases their psychotic masters. Say it won’t happen?
Look at the Middle East it’s gonna happen in America real
quick. It will not be Islam beheading Americans; it will be
Christians stoning their fellow Americans in accordance with
biblical law of course.
There are over 6 Billion Islamics on the planet Earth if Islam is
as evil and destructive as your fear mongering masters claim
they are we would all be dead.
The example below further proves my point as he also
seduced a nation with hate and bigotry.

[111]
 To permit any religious group to discriminate against anyone
or group by using their religion grants said group special rights.
A federal judge ruled that a Mississippi law regarding religious
freedom and establishing the right to discriminate against LGBT
individuals under the guise of religious freedom to be
unconstitutional. A victory for the LGBT community.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-lgbt-mississippi-
idUSKCN0ZH3VG
Now tell me are these special rights that Tran’s people want
again. ?
There was a man much like those preaching hate and fear
today. He came to power in nineteen thirties Germany. He
seduced a nation and sent his armies of darkness to march over
the face of the earth killing billions.
"Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the
will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the
Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord."
Adolph Hitler
http://www.nobeliefs.com/hitler.htm

Replace the word Jew with Muslim, Homosexual, Lesbian,

Transsexual, or Transgender.

Acknowledgement of one’s true self

This should be of importance to all Transsexual’s; some may
be shaking their heads. After refining your outer look, you
should have realised by now and obtained resolve. It is what’s
inside of you that matters first and foremost after this is why you
sought help, if this is not true you need to address this with your
therapist.
After all, you have undertaken and spent the time to find
yourself its time you accepted yourself in total.

[112]
 Any issues you may have had with your appearance should
have been replaced with self-confidence and the inner peace and
freedom to be who you truly are. If not true once again, address
this with your therapist. Now I hear the excuse makers saying
well it’s this and it’s that and they dinnae like me. Tough, that’s
life, and yes it can really get you in a twist if you let it, but why
deny yourself happiness, (denial again). Are you going to permit
a group of churlish pinheads without the brain matter between
them to make toast define you? Which one of your monthlies
will they be paying? Your hoose, car payment, your lecky bill? I
will not permit anyone to delineate me ever again; I permitted
this for forty plus years of my life and will never permit this to
happen again. The moment I accepted myself was the moment I
no longer cared what others thought.
I feel this is a mindset that all Transsexual individuals
should take a closer look at. I ask you without this manner of
thought are you better off than when you began your journey or
are you still frightened what people will think if they judge you
fuck em and move on they are not worth your time.

[113]
Public Acceptance
A transsexual will eventually find a degree of acceptance
.provided they let go of who they thought they were and
accept who they are then leaving all the ’Look at me I am special
and in transition, you must respect me” complex bullshit behind
them and assimilate with the flippin general public.
You can do this without foregoing who you are providing
you have discovered whom and what you are during therapy.
Twenty plus years ago I walked into my bank one afternoon
and wow.
Several months had passed before my last visit and I assure
you what I was about to say would give a reason for my
extended absence in the city.
The tellers and manager had all known me for years and yet
during my entire transition they looked at me in a certain way
perhaps it was just my psychic abilities giving me a nudge, as the
look was often an uncomfortable one.
I was cashing a cheque when the teller asked me how I was
a so forth. I said I completed my entire transition.
Her face turned red, there were no other customers in the
bank, and she stood frozen for a moment. I said are you all right?
She smiled and said do you have a minute? I will be right back.
She returned with two other women who worked in the
bank, mind you, they only stopped a few seconds before getting
back to work. Each of them smiled then congratulated me, one
said welcome to the fairer sex. I thanked them almost in tears
and I went about my business.
To think there had been a time in the past that I wished I had
never been born at all, let alone with knowledge, wisdom, and
maturity not to mention psychic abilities.

[114]
 Perhaps my life would have been much easier as a person
who suffered while complying and assimilating then following
the leader blindly and accepting invented media, political and
religious opinions that are anything but fact.
The Transsexuals who have moved forward are happy in the
fact that they are living their lives as a whole person without
waving a flag or tolerating ignorance. On the plus side in twenty
some years I have not aged very much and even with a few extra
pounds according to one English actor, I am dead sexy, laughs.

The media, religion, and the Transsexual

The media panders to negative issues; in fact, they create much
of the negative public opinion then encourage the hatefully
frightened little turds to new heights of inanity. I am not
excluding several LGBTIQ individuals touting their own
disinformation, abhorrence, and prejudice. Reprehensible!
Individuals like Franklin Graham spew hate, not the love and
inclusion that Yeshua taught. BTW, Yeshua in Hebrew means
salvation; the Y in Yeshua is from the Hebrew Yod. When
portions of the Bible were being translated the Y in Yod was
being mispronounced in English by its being made to sound like
the English letter J.
Oh, and before I forget, Yeshua was Jesus. Oh just one more
thing, Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed because of
selfishness and immorality, gays were a minority of the cities
inhabitants. (Genesis 19:4-621st Century King James Version
(KJ21)
4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men
of Sodom — both young and old, all the people from every
quarter —compassed the house around.
5 And they called unto Lot and said unto him, “Where are the
men who came into thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that
we may know them.”

[115]
 6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door
after him) No surprise to me that most of Christianity today
dinnae offer tolerance, love, and inclusion, they offer
condemnation in their Gods name.
They’re in the sin management business and the make war on
anyone they feel does not meet the criteria of their religion, the
judgement business.
Jesus wept these people are so blinded by hate and self-
righteousness they cannae see the shit they are in with their own
eternal life. Lucifer must be busting at the seams with pride.
When Gay marriage became legal in all fifty states on 26 June
2015, Franklin Graham spewed hatred at all LGBT people.
However, seeing as the Gay marriage issue has obtained a
victory, there is still a war on Transgender and Transsexual
individuals. I do believe a good portion of today's' awareness,
empathy, and acceptance emanates from many not all of our
adolescents. Those with opened minds and hearts are the
inclusionists that make the positive differences. You know the
fucking Liberals, they support free health care for kids, food
stamps, elder and disabled care, equality, equal wages, free
college, fair pay, and being so fucking nice it makes you bigoted
feckwits want to shit in your hat.
True Christians don’t judge, they love
The reality of life on earth is that we are not a one size fits
all society; we are all each and every one as diverse and ever
changing as the stars in the heavens. The True Christian does not
use the charlatans contrived” hate the sin not the sinner” shit.
Nowhere in the New Testament does it say, “Hate the sin not
the sinner?” When you judge others you so judge yourself. When
you use your bible to excuse your own hatred, then claim to
speak for God you have worshipped a false idol. No one speaks
for God and when you do, you have broken Gods law.

[116]
Transmisogyny.
This is something every Tran’s woman should read.
Extract from page
“Transmisogyny is generally understood to be caused by the
social belief that men are superior to women. In Whipping
Girl, Julia Serano writes that the existence of Tran’s women is
seen as a threat to a "male-centered gender hierarchy, where it is
assumed that men are better than women and that masculinity is
superior to femininity."[5] Gender theorist Judith Butler echoes
this assumption, stating that the murder of transgender women is
"an act of power, a way of re-asserting domination... killing
establishes the killer as sovereign in the moment that he kills."[6]
Tran’s women are also viewed as threatening
the heterosexuality of cisgender men. In media, "deceivers" such
as Dil, a transgender woman from the 1992 film The Crying
Game, have been observed to invoke outrage and
male homophobia in an audience when their "true" maleness is
unveiled.[7]”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transmisogyny

Is there an LGBTQI agenda?

If by agenda, you mean LGBTQI people fighting for their rights
to be treated as equals by the government and society you would
be bang on. Personally, I see no reason to deny any human being
the right to exist and be treated as equals.
I can hear someone saying well the LGBTIQ people could be
criminals; well anyone can be a criminal in that matter all of us
are recognised as equals.
The word agenda is legal semantics, and also a media word
much like the regime, keywords such as these are used by the
media to inspire a negative public reaction, preferably violence,
division, and unbridled fear.

[117]
 There is no evil agenda to indoctrinate children into a gay
lifestyle. The statement itself is poorly contrived fiction as those
touting it are frightened, uneducated little people.
The desire of the educational system is to educate. If you do
not educate children with the understanding that all people
including them are different from one and another, nepotism will
flourish. “Hate is the afterbirth of fear, and its practitioners are
the weak”
There is nothing wrong with being who you are if this were a
crime we would all be in jail.
After all, we come in all sizes shapes, colours, religions,
ethnic backgrounds, political views, personal taste, sexual
orientation, and gender identity. If you are unable to accept your
fellow beings you will learn nothing of humankind's purpose to
be enriched and blessed by the benevolence and forbearance of
all creatures great and small. Gender identity is not a lifestyle, it
is not a sexual preference, it is not a sexual orientation, it is an
identity, more to the point it who a person is.
Fact; if people would all treat each other as they would
themselves there would be no need of agendas!
The Indoctrination lie
Once again, on the indoctrination allegation let me clarify
the meaning of the T in LGBT. The T is represent of
Transgender. As far as I am concerned, the Transsexual is not a
part of the Transgender community.
The statements being made that Transsexuals are plying
todays youth into some sort of lifestyle are all baseless lies.
Another fact being Transsexualism is not a lifestyle,
therefore, this allegation and related suppositions are all lies.
If you disagree then show me evidence from two valid
mind science resources that render my statement invalid. Bibles
are not scientific.

[118]
 Furthermore, having spoken to politicians off the record and
in private as well at dinner parties, by way of those in my family
over the years I know that these lies are artificial reefs.
The politicians cling to these a means to continually be re-
elected, they use the reefs to further confuse and distract the
public from their agenda which is to screw the American people
straight out of their retirements, vet benefits, health care, job
opportunities, education, social security, and the list goes on.
Todays Transgender pride
I am not speaking of Gay Pride as Gay and Transsexual
individuals are at opposite ends of the spectrum.
I understand some of the reasons in place for the use of the
Transgender term and being a True Transsexual the Transgender
umbrella term does not define me it offends me. There are others
who feel as I do.
I have heard and seen Transgender people use this term as a
defence, a sort of don’t tread on me flag letting others know they
will not be shamed, belittled, or excluded from society.
I agree with these assertions as long as those making them
conduct themselves in a civil and peaceful manner.
I say to the Transsexual rise abouve the ignorance be the
better person, not of the same flawed character of the frightened
little men and women who are bigots and douche-rockets. Stand
in you truth and dinnae stand in pride, stand in the happiness of
your personal being. You know something the haters and bigots
do not. You know who and what you are, while they remain lost
in their own psychosis.
I dinnae agree with the negative methods being employed by
frauds who in doing so mock the True Transsexual making their
lives more difficult.
To the Transgender individuals that abuse and thereby present
the vilest examples of the Transgender and Transsexual
communities.

[119]
 I have heard Transgender people use the term ‘Proud to be
Transgender’ as if the words were somehow magical.
Whereas, the moment these words sprang from one's face all
would bow before them and if by some miraculous intervention
of a Gilded Yak flying a gold canoe across a moonlit Montana
sky carrying rubber boots filled with coleslaw, ahh yes all would
understand as they bow before them or give half a rat's erse as to
what their issues are.
No Transsexual or Transgender individual should be wearing
their Gender Identity as if it were some fecking badge of honour,
a golden ticket that admits one to a super elite club it is not.
Abusing those in your own community eating where you shit!!
My being born Transsexual was not some fancy décolletage it
was a bloody millstone. I was born with Gender Dysphoria and
because of this; much of my life into my forties had been a living
hell. My advice to the pre-op Transsexual finish your transition
start anew, find your niche with a reputable vocation by which
you can support yourself, fall in love, get married, or remain
single, and live a long and happy life.
Now, aren’t I just the Scottish vacuum of charm?

Let’s talk about exclusion

Yes, there are a lot of cruel people and have been throughout
history all wanting to exclude and harm one person, one group,
one faith, or one view or another. Here is what I find a bit odd. If
you are a transitioning Transsexual it should be paramount to
you that you strive to blend in as a part of society. If you have
completed transition, you will have already assimilated but there
are exceptions.
Why then are you excluding yourself by waving a flag that
says ‘Proud to be Transgender’ or look I’m over here?

[120]
 When I see individuals doing this I can't help but think do
they realise how contrary they are to themselves? Do their
therapists know they are behaving this way?
If you want validation, assert yourself politely and do some
good for others at the same time, volunteer at the Red Cross, a
soup kitchen, a rest home, find a job that requires you to work
with the public.
You can assert your rights the same way I did, by using your
head before putting your mouth in fifth gear. When your mind is
in panic, your mouth will wave a distress signal so keep it shut.
Keep your head and dinnae overthink, as more often than not
things are what they are you may need to step away and re-think
the issues. You can build bridges with potential allies through
the use of social graces and patience.
You will not accomplish your goals by telling them how
wrong they are.
You may do so by telling them how right they are on certain
issues and what you can do to help them reach new heights
through consideration and partial inclusion bring resolve to many
of your issues. Be a diplomatic example of humanity first and
then if you wish the Transsexual community, negotiate and
debate by making concessions, you give them something, and
they give your something in return.
You have weapons that all Political and Religious despots fear
and they are a voice, free will, a vote, and in many cases
knowledge. The darkest fear, all religious and political nutters
have is the valid truth.
What I did
I did not wear a metaphorical chip on my shoulder saying I
dare you to hurt me, rest assured someone would have and in
fact did so not for my having an attitude but for my being a
Transsexual.

[121]
 I transitioned and although I have a chronic physical illness, I
have gone on to live a happy life in which I am free to love
others and be loved in return. Without regard to divisive issues, I
am proud to have known and still know some of the finest
individuals that walk the earth.
My pride except for this publication is private. Keep your
Transgender pride flag, you can wrap yourself in it every time
someone says or does something that hurts your feelings. This
frame of mind is as good as playing the race, religion, or anti-
Semite card, it’s all pish. You have a genuine issue use the links
in the back of the book, not the public at large to do your
laundry. We laid the foundations so others that followed could
plant their flag upon this foundation firmly, and with more
confidence not to piss on through some personal egotistical
fleeting folly!
Most have no idea what I and other Transsexuals endured
during the nineties there was no cavalry; there were no
monolithic aide and law centres. We had our purpose, our
vigilance, and our resolve. Most of us, me included, did not have
as much as each other.
Transsexual and Transgender individuals in MTF or FTM
transition therapy today should focus on transition and goals
directly related to transition and financial stability. These
mandates do not include parades or boasting about how
magnificent it is to be Transgender.
They do not include verbal and emotional beat downs of those
who disagree with you, nor the right to make assumptions with
regard to me.
Be thankful for those who live and work in the world outside
the Transgender community that stands by you, it's more than I
had.

[122]
 Failed attempt to exploit me non-sexually
I make it no secret that I am an internationally known
psychic medium. A few years ago, a television producer came
into possession of a recording of one of my investigations.
He contacted me to say he wanted to create a Television
show featuring a psychic of good reputation with a buoyant
personality, and I was that psychic.
I put him in touch with my then manager in London and we
began to discuss the details of the project. There were numerous
sticking points, one was my wanting the show to not use the
word ‘Reveal’ or feature any ridiculous cartoon frolic music as a
backing track.
Because of the sensitivities of my abilities, I wanted to
conduct my investigations with a minimal amount of screw, cam,
sound etc.
I asked that the show highlights both my abilities and
personality as they had asked; this was to be done without all the
media moulded packed and sold nonsense that would portray me
as another cookie cutter TV medium zombie. Along with my
abilities, I intended to use science and common sense to debunk
alleged hauntings that were no more than creaky pipes and rats
in the attic. I am quite ill and this needed to be taken, into serious
consideration.
They had agreed to several of these points then suddenly
expressed a need for me to tone down my explicit language and
what they found hilarious sarcasm.
This struck me as odd because of the many reasons they
wanted me was my sarcasm, wit, and sometimes salty language.
When I was first approached these were points they wished
to emphasise. My manager expressed concerns that I may leave
the table, but I did not at that time.

[123]
 My intuition picked up on their not wanting me to be part of
the negotiations so I stayed. I insisted that every aspect of my
contract be transparent. Each item is placed in the contract was
to have pored over and discussed, none of this just make the
show Kath, and while you’re busy, we will do what we want
rubbish. There was a face to meeting one morning at which time
another item was brought to our attention.
They felt quite strongly that my having been Transsexual
could be a major selling point, in the words of an old English TV
executive friend of my grandfathers; it would pop,pop,pop.
Unknown to management or myself they were about to venture
into a deeply private part of my life as they did not express these
intentions to my manager or I at any time prior to the meeting.
Note: My manager had provided the usual disclosure
documents; my health was a major issue as I have retired
because of illness. They agreed to work around my health and
did so in writing. They had to protect their interest and insure
me; portions or much of the show was to be shot in the U.S.
During the meeting I was told, not asked, that they were going to
use my being a former Transsexual as a selling point. At that
time, I had not made a public disclosure with regard to my
gender identity and had no plans to do so in the future.
Nonetheless, the profanities flew from me in such manner it
would later be written that some ancient Celtic warrior had flown
across the sky to then unleash several metric tons of shite upon
them thereby muzzling their words and disgusting intentions.
There were other things equally as offensive to me I prefer not to
repeat. I have never witnessed such unprofessionalism.
I can hear people saying well you wrote a book and declared
yourself to the entire world.

[124]
 I had not yet written Through the Darkness or had planned to
write the book before or during the dates that these events had
taken place.
In conclusion, I feel that any type of exploitation, sexual or
otherwise of anyone’s gender and or gender identity speaks
loudly of yet another of humanities iniquities. In hindsight, I
know that the non-secular God of the universe was with me, and
this was the right decision as my overall health has since gotten
worse.

I have feelings too.

Don’t hand me that pc bullshit when I tell you I dislike your
hateful and bigoted remark. Don’t throw that negative pc
nonsense at me when I tell you that I am offended by what you
said. Ask me what part of what you said was offensive or try to
debate me on how I feel guess no one decides how I feel.
Gaslight all you wish there is nothing wrong with me. Moreover,
there is something wrong with people who troll LGBTQ news
stories in order to post negative remarks. A few terms come to
mind Sadism, narcissism, Cluster B personality disorder,
closeted homosexuality and or gender dysphoria and two of my
favorite’s inferiority or superiority complex.
The offensive remarks directed at me simply because I am a
woman are no more than chauvinism and fuckery.
I am bored and disgusted with the chopping off the dick
comment I hear almost daily on the net. I am not a violent person
but I would thoroughly enjoy ripping one of these nitwits’ dicks
off and gluing to their forehead making them a limp dick
unicorn.

[125]
A few of the repugnant and filthy minded questions I
have been asked over the decades. Many of those asking
were devout Christians. I know because I asked.

1. After they chopped your dick off did they put it in a

jar so you could bring it home with you?
2. Has somebody broken your ass in yet?
3. How big a dick can your pussy take?
4. Have you practiced giving blowjobs?
5. Did you practice using dildos and shit stretching out
your pussy so you can fuck men?
6. Did it hurt the first time you fucked a guy?
7. Can I take a video of you getting fucked?
8. What’s the biggest dick you ever sat on?
9. Do you fuck animals like dogs?
10. You had the operation does that make you a hooker
now? ( generic question)
11. If I fuck you does that mean I am gay ( generic
question)
12. Is your pussy made of plastic like the fake pussies
they have at dirty bookstores?
13. Are your tits real, can I squeeze them and titty fuck
you?
14. Admit it you want to fuck men that’s why you had
the operation didn’t ya?

[126]
God and shame
No, I have done nothing to be ashamed of. If you lose an arm
or a leg, will you not purchase a prosthetic to take its place?
If you or a family member were born with a birth defect that
torments and causes them pain, would you not take action to
correct this? If you cut your hair, use hair colour or have tattoos
are you not breaking the laws set forth in your bible? Divorce?
How about shellfish? Do you work on the Sabbath, according to
the bible you should be put to death?
Should I call the police and have them smite you or should I
do this myself? Do you own slaves; it says you may do so in
your bible providing they are of a different nation, then how do
you feel about Canadians?
I corrected a birth defect and you charlatan’s claim your God
does not make mistakes then explain children born with missing
limbs or other birth defects.
I did nothing shameful it is you who should be ashamed of
yourselves. What would your Jesus who taught love, tolerance,
and inclusion say?
What is it with you Christ-hating fake Christians, every time
you see a freggin rainbow you want to blow it up?
Is it not true that the rainbow represents Gods promised to
never again flood the earth?
Didn’t God flood the earth because God was pished and
wanted to kill all the sinful assholes? Sadly, only to repopulate it
with more assholes sounds logical to me, yeah and I’m a Chinese
jet pilot.
Better, look at those clouds it could rain any moment. Don’t
ya think it’s time for another flood? What are you waiting for I
know all you righteous zealots want to be directors of water
sports, no need to worry golden showers are not my thing.

[127]
 I can hear Coronal Cong saying “I’m gonna get them bomb
doors open if it hair lips everybody on bear creek”
I am kind of hoping Arizona Pastor Steve Anderson, lets me
wax his erse and use him as a fecking surfboard so I can ride the
big one to paradise, ye-haw.
Being a sane individual the question remains why is there not a
mandatory yoga class for bigoted scumbags.
I may know a gay black Islamic yoga instructor who is
married to a gay white boy from Alabama who may be able to
help. Christians I don’t believe in your psychotic invisible God.

Do Transsexuals take advantage of government

aid programs?
I feel there are not enough aid programs. Yes, these programs
are designed to be temporary. There are several reasons why
they are being used the long term one of which is the wage.
There are people working at Walmart that are receiving food
stamps because their greedy employer will not pay them a
livable wage.
Who foots the bill for Walmart’s greed? The working man and
woman.
The Transsexual is not immune to this voracity; they suffer
equally if not more so because of the hatred and indifference
encouraged by those who suffer from various psychological
disorders one of which is cognitive dissonance.
What we should be asking is why the rich white men we placed
in power are not creating opportunities in America rather than
paying subsidies to companies that move to China. We give
billions in aid to the world while Americans suffer. There is not
just something wrong these acts are criminal.

[128]
 As for the Transsexual, why are we not raising positive
awareness through education and public service messages that's
designes are conducive to Transsexuals being self-supportive
financially. Through non-discrimination for jobs and housing,
it’s a good start in declaring we are no longer in need of these
programs. How can a Transsexual support them self with finding
work when the job is non-existent because the employer is
transphobic? You can have all the qualifications in the world and
they still won’t hire you because you’re Transsexual. How can
anyone say these programs are being taken advantage of when
the programs are the only life raft in a sea of indifference created
by the people who are the indifferent?
The finger pointers and blamers claiming these programs are
being taken advantage of are blaming the victims.
The victims they have denied an equal seat at the table in
order that they are part of a positive discussion designed to
resolve these issues.
You blamers need not give me that victim mentality shit, you
know damn well when you oppress someone they will do
whatever is needed to survive.
You damn well know you can stop this oppression by
passing laws that stop discrimination, yet you have done
everything to destroy equal treatment and protections under the
law. That being said it appears you Levitical fascist are quick
enough to make endless futile attempts to usurp the laws
regarding Americans foundations of freedom and equal
treatment for all.
While you flatulating douche bags are pishing on the bill of
rights and the constitution there are LGBTQI attorneys and
friendly politicians who will not only present overwhelming
legal arguments for equal treatment they will win.

[129]
 Every American should be concerned about their freedom.
Today it is the Transsexual and Transgender individuals. Fact is
it’s only a matter of time before you are denied equal treatment
and due process.
If Americans would lose their stinging hate and open their
arms instead of opening fire on anyone, they see as different we
could begin a productive and positive dialogue
Replace the word Jew with LGBTQI and or Islam
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came_...
The psychotic logic being employed by the insufferable
status quo is just that psychotic. What is even more repugnant
are the elitist and recently hailed heroes that sit offering lengthy
opinions attempting to micro manage and minimise the damage
being done by their own snobbish acrimonies.
They are clueless as to what is going on in the real world
and it’s apparent they dinnae give a rats ass, how Christ-like.

Respect in death
Using myself as the example, when the hospital doctor gave
me the long face in Oct 2014, I had a discussion with my
established designated legal executor(s) representative(s) and
advocate(s) concerning my final wishes.
A month later upon meeting my new doctor, he was of the
opinion that I may be here for a while longer.
I feel I am here as long as the universe wants me to be
regardless of health.
I am going to discuss death and subsequent issues that may
arise upon my death.
Although speaking about death may be morbid to some
please note I have had four Near Death Experiences. I dinnae
fear death as I have seen what is waiting for me when I cross the
rainbow bridge. However, discussing my death has been rather
difficult with my designate(s).

[130]
 Death is an issue that needs discussion not solely for those
who are sick and aging but also the healthy true transsexual.
Although I no longer identify as Transsexual I will be treated
as such in the morgue. A major reason being when a person dies
aside from a designated family member or duly appointed
executor(s)representative(s), and or advocate(s) who will stand
for your rights in death without them you are at the mercy of
people who may not respect who you are in death.
A doctor and in some instances a sheriff may identify a
body and note the gender. On the doctor’s behalf, a doctor will
have to sign the death certificate. Take note if someone has
undergone GRS there are still certain aspects of one’s body MTF
or FTM that can be definitive, sans to say there are numerous
ways to make these distinctions.
The doctor and or the sheriff without the intervention of a
designate or a doctor who addresses gender identity after death
may decide.
The aforementioned doctor will want to know how long you
have lived your life identifying as male or female, their decision
will generally favour the Transsexual.
Legal documents, legal name, drivers license (denotes
gender), passport (if you have one) etc.
If you have designated someone to advocate your rights in
death, they should present legal documents such as a health care
directive, disposition of a body etc.
If a favouring, doctor is not available or an advocate your
fate in death may be in the hands of someone who is biased
against you. (A death record can be disputed after death, by your
legal designate(s) and or a family member)
There are now doctors who are called in to determine gender
when a transsexual has passed away. At this time, they are few
and located mostly in large cities.

[131]
 If you die in a small village like mine, you only need use
your imagination and pray they do not desecrate your corpse. It
should be noted due to my religious beliefs, and I have them, I
have a legal non-autopsy document.
You may wish to donate a few dollars now and then to an
LGBT legal advocacy group, as the death issue is one they have
been instrumental in part for its creation.

Last wishes and custody of ones remains

I recall an incident in which a former, Transsexual woman
passed on and her last wishes were denied because her family
somehow obtained control of her corpse. They cut her hair and
placed her in a suit and tie then buried her as a male listing her
only as a male, placing her (non-amended) birth name on the
tombstone and in the obit thereby totally disregarding her
complete legal name change, complete transition, and her legacy.
This type of ignorance and selfishness happens; it is tragic and
even frightening to the living. I am sure a lot of transsexuals
never give death a thought and they should.
Years of your life may vanish because someone who dinnae
care about you decided to dishonour your memory in death.
The friends you have made as your true self, those you have
touched and have touched you, those you loved and those who
loved you back, your achievements, the lives you have enriched
with kindness and those who have shown you the same will be
gone. Over a decade ago, someone said to me why would you
care, after all, your dead. I said you dinnae wish to be
remembered, your life has meant nothing, and you have been so
insignificant that you want to be forgotten as if you had never
lived?
Personally, I wish my grandchildren to know I may have had a
difficult time but made the best of life and found my happiness
then went on to live a somewhat good life.

[132]
 There were people who cared about me and I cared about
them. I have done my best to be a positive part of society.
Although flawed as are we all I was a good person.
There is the remote possibility of someone in my family
obtaining control of my body and defiantly stripping my last
wishes to the wind let alone asserting my right to fair treatment,
the last request for mercy in order to die with dignity and
honour.
A religious zealot of a sheriff or a closed-minded doctor
holding fingerprint documents in two names, with two dates of
submission may kill me once more after I die.
You see this is how people like me are treated in death,
because of religion and social ignorance we are considered
outcast abominations to God and therefore many of us we will be
cast out of society’s memory.
If my trusted family member that lives next door to me dies
before me this, more than likely this will be my fate as for my
children any intervention on their part would be disastrous.
Unless they had information pertaining to my life after transition
and this is not the sort of issue a family will advertise or promote
by placing it on an ancestry site.
Perhaps the laws will change in time. Currently, there are but
few states, commonwealths, or countries that have laws
protecting the gender identity of Transsexuals after death.
Until then should I have no one to assure my respect in death
an ancestor looking for me in the future may find no death notice
and little if any means by which to trace my entire life. It is
important you read the next three articles as I share sample legal
documents.
After all, is said and done my friends without the help I have
discussed your humble female author and narrator Kathryn will
with but one keystroke never existed.

[133]
Important legal matters the Transsexual must
address.
Although not in their entirety, I authored the following legal
documents. Document titles are listed as well a synopsis.
1. Statement of Contrary Intent. This document makes
your last wishes known and states who is authorized to make
funeral arrangements, cremation, and or formal burial.
If you feel your family may not respect you last wishes
as per your gender identity, manner of obit and funeral
arrangement you may legally appoint someone other than family
that will respect you wishes, assert, and act as your advocate
upon death.
This will set your mind at ease if you have concern you
family may not respect your wishes.
2. Directive in and of Recognition of Gender Identity
Pre and Post-Mortem. A directive as to who will have sole
authority to sign all legal documents in accordance with your last
wishes. As for me, one legal document would be the permit to
cremate my body and have authority as to the disposal of my
remains.
This document is also a directive concerning you gender
identity should you become so infirmed you are unable to speak
or act on your behalf.
3. AUTHORIZATION FOR FINAL DISPOSITION
OF MY BODY. This again permits you to place a person or
persons in charge of your body. However, this clarifies, again,
who will dispose of your body according to your wishes. Once
again, you may appoint a designated family member, or someone
other than family to be authorized to make sure your last wishes
are carried out.

[134]
 4. DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY OF HEALTH
CARE AND DEATH DIRECTIVE, A DESIGNATION OF
HEALTH CARE AND DEATH DIRECTIVE
SURROGATE. This is what I call step one, because of its
placement in a durable health care directive it establishes who is
in charge should you be unable to express your wishes and upon
your expiration in a health care facility. The death directive is
critical as you dinnae want a family member jumping and
disrespecting you and your immediate wishes with regards to
your health care or the immediate care of your body.

Here is the context of this portion of the health care

directive.
“I, (your full and legal name, _______) by this document I
intend to create a Durable Power of Attorney for Health care and
directive upon Death.
This power or attorney shall take effect upon my full
incapacity and or in-competency, and shall continue during such
incapacity and or in- competency and act as my statement of
intent and directive in the event of my death. The term disability
does not and will not be applicable to this power of attorney as I
am disabled by standards set forth by the Social Security
administration as a division of the United States Government”
You must also state your wishes in a Last Will and
Testament, be specific when stating your last wishes, and be
specific as to who you appoint to see to the full and complete
identification including gender and the further disposition of
your body.
All of these documents must be notarized and contain a self-
authenticating affidavit. Should your agent, the one you placed
in charge be unable to fulfill their duties, if they predeceased you
etc. you can legally appoint a secondary individual including an
attorney.

[135]
 Remember, you must have each and every one of the
aforementioned documents signed, witnessed, and notarized.
Although I have legal skills it is best to consult an attorney
in your state before creating any legal documents. Remember
these are your last words and last wishes. It is vital that each
document be specific. If you are making your arrangements it’s a
good idea to keep your spokesperson informed as well .See the
link below
http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-rights/take-the-
power/your-wishes-for-funeral

It is important that the elderly Transsexual know his or

her rights in matters such a nursing home care, and private
care facilities. This link speaks of the issues and the current
laws in your favour.
http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-
rights/transgender/trans-seniors-faq

https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/transgender-people-
and-law
https://www.aclu.org/map/non-discrimination-laws-state-
state-information-map

Those who tormented me

One of those who abused me as a child I have forgiven the
same for one of those who harmed me as an adult. As to those,
where I currently reside, I will never forget their criminal abuse
of me. I dinnae dwell on what they have done but I cannae find it
in me to ever forgive them. I make no excuse for my action
suffice to say I have reached a point in my life where I lack any
degree of tolerance for ignorant, hateful, and evil zealots.

[136]
 I find no justifiable reason for their criminal actions and their
lack of remorse; such criminals should be removed from society
and imprisoned.
Permit me to be clear there is just no place left in my life or
my heart for another physical and or emotional scar upon me.
Several of these mingin arse bandits wanted to see if I was a
real girl one evening, they tried to rape me and found it to be a
costly decision and an extremely painful lesson.
These people destroyed my only car, repeatedly threw
fireworks on my porch, and pointed loaded rifles out of car
windows at me and the list goes on.
Once my car was gone, they waited all of two weeks and it
was then they caved in the driver’s side door of a family
members’ car. I called the police after each incident; they took a
report and did nothing else.
Their first assault on her vehicle came when they smashed off
the driver side mirror.
I used to stay up all night while the aforementioned member of
my family slept; I kept watch from my patio window over her
car, for weeks. Her car was now parked in front of our homes
and this still did no good.
Again we called the police each time, they took a report and
did nothing more. A couple of the village people stood outside
my home one day and were speaking loudly about hanging
someone.
These so called Christians have terrorized me for years doing
unspeakable things and it made every day of my life a living
hell. I could not even walk into the town for my post (we have
no delivery) without being confronted or harassed. If they had
putt heir hands on me I would have called the police, it’s not my
issue if they fell down and was injured. When these cowardly
sons a bitches attacked a family member’s property, I put my
foot down.

[137]
 I addressed a woman at city council and told her I was going to
all the media outlets with my story. I did not tell her about the
attempted rape or the talk of hanging me I was saving this for the
media. This town has so much dirt it’s sickening more drugs go
through here than Cumberland, MD.

The two thousand and three Afghanistan Abu Ghriab prison

incidents should be added to their repertoire. One of their sons
was in the Pa National Guard assigned to Abu Ghriab, he
claimed he was following orders; they gave him a dishonourable
discharge and sent him to military prison for several years.
At that time this southern Bedford County, Pa town was
overrun by world media and I could have brought a firestorm on
them because they were looking for anything and everything
wrong with the village that could add to their {no shame} mess.

I thought these bawbags would let me be but the terror

continued.
Much like the cowardly bully, they took my benevolence as a
sign of weakness. I almost wish I could reveal the name of this
town in this publication, being terrorized further, I would call the
police. The police would fill out a report and leave.
I told the official you have a week to stop and end this.
I considered making the town even more famous, America’s
dumbest transphobic criminals.
I am sure many in the LGBTQI YOUTUBE community and
mainstream media would have gladly shown it.
There are less than five hundred people here and another three
hundred in the countryside, everyone knows everyone, and there
are no secrets.
When my taillights were shot out and my tires were slashed
before I rang the police several cars drove by slowly to view the
damaged car.

[138]
 I knew some of them as they drove by these sick fecks
expressed joy knowing I was distraught, they found this
entertaining.
I told the official if all else failed, and I was shat out of
patience by now, I would ask the county D.A. to file criminal
complaints against the individuals I knew to be responsible. I
had two credible witnesses that would testify.
Someone in the town may have shown me some HS
yearbooks or other photos. Not surprised when I saw one of the
scumbags, who was a short fat kid with round glasses I believe
he was on the wrestling team. He was the one who caved in my
family members’ door and ripped off the mirror I saw him do it.
I firmly believe he destroyed my car, bit by bit. I spotted him
on the street directly across from my home, at three a.m. one
morning. I also saw another turd, tall, distinct walk he sort of
leaned forward when he walked and ran. He was wearing a white
ball cap; and was the only one who could have loosened the lugs
on our maintenance man John’s truck.
He stood a few moments where I could see him, under a
streetlight next to Johns house then ran up the street.
Both of them together drove around in a Blue Chevy Cavalier
with Pa plates.
I saw them together several times in the a.m. and each time I
was standing on my porch when one of them pointed a high-
powered rifle at me through the car's open window.
The bastards that destroyed my classic car and caused a great
deal of damage to a family members car were real bright boys in
a manner of speaking, the stocky kid with round glasses stopped
at the corner across from my house under a street lamp to rest
once in full view.
I watched him run toward me down the street, he never saw
me.

[139]
 On two separate occasions, he and then his accomplice pointed
a rifle at me from their Blue Chevy Cavalier. Guess where they
were when this took place, under the streetlight giving me full-
unimpeded view.
I went on to tell the town official I was going to testify in court
after an arrest was made. There I would present two
unimpeachable witnesses on my behalf.
For the next week or so, a Maryland State Police helicopter
was low flying over my house and the entire town with a
spotlight at night, there was a presence of County sheriffs and
PA State Police. Forgive monsters like this, no. I have their faces
and hateful deeds as scars on my heart and emotions. I also know
their names.
If only the police would have arrested them!
I heard the fat wrestling kid was in college. I wonder if any of
these knuckleheads still belong to that church just miles south of
here by Hobos family restaurant on the Pa side of the
Mason/Dixon line.
It ‘has been fairly quiet the past few years. There are few good
people here and not many of them. I dinnae mix with the public
and only do so when I absolutely have no other choice.
Here is an example of kindness, on August 8th, 2015, the
power had gone off all over town, and at ten a.m., the ambulance
pulled up in front of my home.
A man and woman stepped out and made a beeline for my
door, I could see them through my patio window. I stepped onto
the patio and a woman I had never met said Kath do you have
enough O2 that will last you to this evening?
I said yes I have a large tank and a few small ones (I use the
O2 at night because I have problems breathing)

[140]
 She also said did you do a breathing treatment this morning to
wit I replied no I was going to plug into the car after I cleaned up
a bit. She said would you like to set inside the Van (ambulance)
and plugin you can do your treatment.
I did and I thanked both her and the gentleman for caring.
They asked me if I wanted them to come back in a few hours so I
could do another treatment and I said no. You may be wondering
why the O2 and nebulizer well I have emphysema and COPD.
This clearly demonstrates that there are a few people in the
village who care about others, I included.
However, with all the antipathy being fostered by politicians
and religious goons someone may decide to unleash their hatred
on me once again. I absofuckinloutly sick to it, because of these
douche rockets I have been without a car now for years and
although I have tried I cannae afford to save for a used one. I do
not dwell in anger, however, writing about these fecking Godless
coward sickens me.
Proper pronouns when speaking of and with a Male or Female
Transsexual.
What I am about to say is for those who strive to be polite, and
inclusive, more importantly, the following is directed at those
who see this issue as unimportant or chose to misgender just to
inflict harm.

[141]
Be polite and use the correct pronoun
It is important to use the proper pronouns when speaking to a
Transsexual, if you should meet a woman who is known to you
as a Transsexual and she introduces herself to you as Lisa you
would no doubt call her Lisa, she, her, Ms., Miss, or Mrs.
Calling a Transsexual female, sir, him or mister is not only
disrespectful it is hurtful. Simply put call this individual what
they call themselves. If you dinnae care about others feelings it
speaks of your own poor character and anti-social behavioural
disorder.
Never call anyone It or Freak, the reaction to these terms
varies dependent upon the individual, it’s entirely possible that
someone will beat the living shite out of you for having done so.
There is nothing funny or cute about calling someone names,
it’s a form of emotional abuse, and bullying that leaves scars
inside of a person. FYI, you dinnae decide if you hurt person’s
feelings, they do. Speaking only for myself the scars may fade
but they never go away completely. Because of emotional and or
physical abuse, people take their lives, dinnae be the cause be the
one who cares. Should you abuse someone to the point they take
their life, the choice is on them the reason is on you. You can tell
your God all about how righteous you are in harming Gods other
creations in Gods name and good luck with that. The use of
proper pronouns may seem insignificant to you but they are as
important to a transsexual as your identity is to you.
These statements have nothing to do with being politically or
religiously correct.
The aforementioned knowledge is based in fact as to prevent
you from hurting someone’s feelings and making yourself look
like an uneducated gaping arsehole.

[142]
Question to Anti-LGBTQ groups and individuals
What happens if there is a fire or robbery at your business or
in the street? Are you going to ask the first responders if they are
an LGBT person before you permit them to lend aid? If so what
if one individual answers yes?
I can see it now a man being beaten and robbed as a police
officer notices then he or she intervenes, the man on the ground
looks up extending his arm palm up and says WAIT!
Are you an LGBT person? If so I do not want your help, ok
people go back to beating and mugging me now while they
dispatch a straight Christian officer.
A woman is being overcome by smoke on the second story
of the burning building; she has her head out of the window
gasping for air. A firefighter runs up a ladder and the woman in
the window extends her arm palm up and says WAIT!
Are you an LGBTQ person, if so you will have to leave and
send up a Christian firefighter? Sound stupid? I think it’s
pathetic. The bigot is the person in the fire and being robbed,
their own hate will get them killed, talk aboot suicidal and dafty.

The Transsexual/Transgender crime myth

If you mean the crimes being committed against the
Transsexual every day, the only crimes I am aware of are the
denial of basic human and constitutional rights, assaults, and
murders of Transsexuals. No other manner of Transsexual crime
is known to me.
I know nothing aboot Transgender specifically MTF and
FTM, individuals committing crimes either, only that they too
are being treated just as badly as the Transsexual.

[143]
 How can any of one live with them self while permitting
someone to use their God to inflict harm on one of God s very
own creatures?

The American educational system, the LGBTQI, the

Islamic peoples, and book banning
Sadly, there is book banning in the US; two topics, in
particular, seem to upset the so-called Christians. Banning
educational books that teach unbiased Muslim and Middle
Eastern culture (not Islam as Islam is a religion, there is no
country named Islam).
The so-called Christians are also banning books discussing
Gay marriage as well books discussing social tolerance and
understanding of Transsexual, and Transgender individuals. One
such book ‘I am Jazz’ is about a seven-year-old transgender girl
named Jazz, yea she’s dangerous, add sarcasm.
What makes these empirically flawed actions even more
outrageous is that Jazz is not only a YouTube star but she also
had a show on The Learning Channel (TLC).
It’s petrifying to think that kids and adults may learn about
someone who embraces the knowledge aboot someone else
culture and religion other than their own and God forbid
someone learns anything aboot Transsexual or Transgender
individuals.
The truth is frightening to those who suffer from cognitive
dissonance disorders including a Levitical psychosis. By all
means get your crosses out, strap on your bibles, grab your M-
16s and damn the torpedoes.
The tyrannical acts of a few religious wingnuts are nothing
more than a sick and ugly display of theocratic fascism in a
nation that claims to be a democratic republic.
I have a question when does the majority have an
opportunity to make all their views known in a free unbiased
forum?

[144]
 What no PTA? Why the feck are a few wing nuts being
permitted to rob my grandchildren of their education.
I want my grandchildren to know everything about
everything so they are able to make their own well-informed
decisions and not place their futures in the hands of a gang of
fuckwitted Christ-hating Christian Nazi lunatics in need of an
exorcism, psychiatric evaluation and a boat load of straight
jackets.
I say in order to understand those who are different from
ones self-engage them in polite, non-political, or religious,
discussion. An interesting fact is the Nazis not only banned
books they burned books, for what I would say are many of the
same ignorant and tyrannical reasons. I guess America's book
burnings will commence after the newly established government
enemies of Christianity’s database has been assembled.
The Republican theocratic fascist regime, It’s gonna make
the holocaust look like a day at fuckin Disneyland.

The origin of the terms Transgender and

Transsexual.
The term Transgender and gender identity are not a
relatively new term. Many are completely unaware of a Dr. who
lived and worked in pre occupied Nazi Germany. In the early
1900's around 1910-1920 during that period a Dr. Magnus
Hirschfeld has been credited as coining the term Transgender
and his studies talked of Gender Identity mind you this is back in
the 1920's. He began a medical institute dedicated to the varying
human sexuality's the institute of Sexology.
The work done by The Institute of Sexology was all but
destroyed by the Nazi's when they took power in 1932. The
Nazis invaded the institute held a book burning session and
destroyed a majority of the work of Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld.

[145]
 Later on his work on Transgender and Transsexualism was
continued by Dr. Harry Benjamin here in the United States from
1913-1985.
Dr. Benjamin's work is used in the treatment of Transgender,
Transsexual individuals there are medical standards known as
the Harry Benjamin standards of care. The Harry Benjamin
association changed its name several years ago to WPATH.
http://www.hrc.org/resources/world-professional-
association-for-transgender-health-wpath
Here is some useful information about the Transsexual.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual

The Concern Troll.

I thought I would mention this straight off as you are bound to
meet one. The concern troll is one of a group of bigots and haters
that can really get under the skin of the average Jane and Joe.
They will use the titles, references and in some instances
direct quotes to make their bias opinion appear legitimate the
will also twist any facts they have gleaned. They are hoping you
have not read the data or done further studies. One of their
favorites is the debunked McHugh opinion and the news stories
regarding mentally ill individuals as peeping toms and video
voyeurs’ fact is every single one of these people have been
arrested and proven NOT to be TRANSGENDER, you may also
note that the majority of many of these incidents happened
outside the US.
Here is a link to more information on the Concern Troll.
Spotting the Anti-Trans Concern Troll.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/how-to-
spot-antitrans-con_b_8055816.html
Special note to parents
Parents, How to deal with Transphobia
http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Transphobic-Parents

[146]
A transition horror story
This was not placed in my book Through the Darkness. I am
sharing it now during the 2018 edit of my book before it is
published in paperback and hardcover..
I have shortened this from its original form, reason given at
the end of the article.
During my transition; I was sexually assaulted not once but
several times on multiple occasions. I had a cast on my arm from
a previous assault when I pulled into my driveway one evening; I
was grabbed by four men, beaten, and assaulted. At some point I
was rendered unconscious, when I awoke I could taste their urine
and my blood as they pissed on me when they were through. It
was dark and I felt wet and cold, perhaps this is due to me
bleeding.
I crawled out of a wooded area and down the side of a hill to
my front door where I pulled myself up put the key in the lock
turned it and fell inside before blacking out.
My high functional autistic sister was staying with friends,
as I knew I would be late getting home that evening. I had
planned to shower then go pick her up after arriving home. A
friend came to the house as she had been calling all night and
there was no answer, my sister was also upset because I never
picked her up.
My friend used her key and when she saw me she wanted to
call an ambulance and I refused as I had been mistreated at the
only hospital avail to me. A former EMT came over and patched
me up and stated that one or two of my ribs may be broken so he
taped them for me. After being driven to his home I returned to
my house to find my high functional autistic sister in tears. My
lady friend stayed roughly an hour until we could get my her at
least half calmed down. I was happy she was not there when the
rape occurred if they had known she was inside perhaps they
may have tried to harm her.

[147]
 I used to carry a firearm and had a permit for it as well. I
stopped carrying, as I did not want to lock my pistol in the boot
all day while keeping the shells in a separate container.
I am relieved that I was not armed when I stepped out of my
car as I feel I may had taken a life, and I assure you that I
thought at one point they were going to take mine. I remember
one of them yelling trannie, trannie, I am gonna put the love of
Jesus in you trannie. Have my clothing torn off and being placed
on my knees half-conscious while three men sexually assaulted,
beat and abused me has placed a permanent mark on me. This
was but one occasion and I survive several forms of abuse
physically and emotionally.
I have no room on my being for another mark of emotional
and or physical abuse therefore I have no forgiveness, mercy or
compassion for those who will or have done me harm
As for the assault I never reported it for you see I had no
civil or human rights and the police had not exactly been kind to
me.
I have not talked about the rape in decades except to my
family, as it remains a traumatic experience in my life.
I chose not to share all of the sickening details regarding
what took place as they still cause me to shake and vomit.
. What happened to me was so vile and barbaric I did not
want people to be upset by the details or mock me stating I
deserved it and or they would have killed me. I have recently
shared a few of the other abusive events. I experienced and met
with a flood of you deserve to die, you are an abomination to
God, f*** you trannie and as one stated quite clearly I would
take pleasure in seeing you raped beaten and killed.

[148]
 Pardon my disgruntled attitude while I am speaking of this
now I am watching my America turn into a Fascists Theocracy
supported by Godless black hearted, evil and empty souled fake
Christians.
What is now paramount to my life since I fell ill is spending
the time I have with those I love and who love me in return.
The politicians and fake Christian radicles set out seeking to
me may in fact have me killed or may yet kill me because I am
standing in my truth and minding my own business. If this be so
I welcome death as I have seen the other side and I have nothing
to fear. The bigots say I am not normal, well if they are normal
then I am glad I am not.

I wish to speak about the meaning of Normal

for a moment or two.
Transsexual and Transgender people have no issue with the
term ‘Normal’ as they are aware of its meaning. Nevertheless,
many in America today have an obsession with the term so much
so they have all chosen to define it themselves. Depending on
whom you speak with their denotations are no more than
fabricated twaddle that frequently balances on the fringe of
idiocy.
In fact most wield their personal definition of the Normal as
if some all defining word that paints them to be supreme beings
rendering the Transsexual individual as insignificant peons
which is a desperate act of an nitwit doing their best to get you to
believe their nonsense. When I hear the word Normal being
tossed into a conversation I roll my eyes. Still this is but one of
many terms dogmatist employ to quantify their endless stream of
uneducated and intolerant opinions, of Transsexual and
Transgender individuals.

[149]
 Every word they speak is void of any degree discernable
substantiation. Their facts are based in their own opinions.
This course of action is not only absurd I find it alarming at
how confused those who construct such untruths mislead
themselves.
Sadly these individuals invest themselves so deeply in their
own fabrications to them what they speak of must be true.
There are also those who present false information as fact
then present an empirically flawed argument.

What do we mean by Normal?

By Eric R. Maisel Ph.D.
Rethinking mental health
It’s time to rethink Normal and Abnormal
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rethinking-
psychology/201111/what-do-we-mean-normal

US National Library of Medicine

National Institutes of Health
Defining and measuring gender: A social
determinant of health whose time has come
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1180842/

Gender and Sex is there a difference.

The APAs position“American Psychiatric
Association”
https://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/sexuality-
definitions.pdf
Medical News Today
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232363.php

[150]
 Transgender and Transsexual the difference
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Transsex
ual
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Transgender_vs_Trans
sexual#Is_There_a_Difference_Between_Transgender_and_
Transsexual.3F

Gender Definitions
http://www4.ncsu.edu/~bsscott2/GenderDefinitions.htm

Transsexual depression
http://depression-guide.com/transsexualism.htm
http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-
content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

Transsexual/Transgender suicide rate Post-Op

Truth
http://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-
content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf

This came as a surprise

Trans Porn is most popular in Anti-Trans states. I
am shocked and appalled, ad sarcasm.
As I have said many times before the best defense is a good
offense.
https://youtu.be/YOijkueM-RA

[151]
 My awkward adventures with makeup and
clothing
During my transition aside from having brief
difficulties in several areas, you should’ve seen me put on
makeup for the first time. I looked like a clown crossed
with a tropical fish, seriously. I had so much blue
eyeshadow on I could have joined the circus. Of course I
was in tears and thinking back on it now it’s hilarious.
Believe it or else I did not need that much help with
make-up, I just had to know what colors enhanced my face
and how much as I obviously used too much. The toughest
for me was eyeliner; I stuck myself in the eye once or
twice. I wish I had a film of my most awkward moments
with makeup.
I also had wardrobe plans for when I completed the
transition. All of these beautiful dresses lined up in my
closet.
After three years of transition, I decided that jeans and
tops were to my liking and went for a more conservative
look makeup-wise.
The bare minimum unless going to a fancy dress affair.
In twenty-three years I have only been asked a handful of
times by those who know me and I told them every day
with makeup you must enhance who you are, not smother
who you are in powder, cheesy eyeshadow and outrageous
neon lipstick.

[152]
 I observed mum putting on her make up once or twice,
she remarked to my auntie never leave the house unless you
have your look and are dressed to the nines. Of course, I
had no freggin idea what she meant until decades later.

Shoes another issue until a Transsexual in the program

with gave me a size correction chart.

My first experience with a girdle, oh God only a man

would invent such a contraption and don’t get me started on
pantyhose.
Once I crammed my skinny body into this thing I felt
like a sausage being stuffed into a casing wah- lah. I still
dislike them mind you they are ok for shaping but if you
have some fat the fat has to go somewhere and no matter
how hard you try to conceal a portion of that fat it is going
to be visible to some degree. Quite a lesson and I was thin
at the time at 150 lbs.
Shoes another issue until a Transsexual in the program
with gave me a size correction chart. I ordered them by
mail for the most part and did find a few pair that fit the b
boats I call my feet.
Jeans, tops, dresses, bras panties etc I ordered by mail.
The first time I ever when shopping in a big way was with
my daughter who took me to a mall. She asked me if she
could call me Kathryn and I said sure. She said the reason I
ask is calling you Dad would sound pretty bloody stupid
and we both laughed.

[153]
 She treated me to a makeover and all the makeup to go
with it.
I tried on all sorts of clothing and she even stood
outside the trying room to give her opinion on how I
looked.
It was hilarious when one of the sales gals said
something flippant to my daughter, she came back with
such sarcasm I put my hand over my mouth to hide the
laughter.
Things changed when they rang up the receipt. My
daughter handed her a credit card and her business card to
the clerk. She leaned in on the lady handing her the receipt
and I heard her say you give this lady any bit of a hard time
or disrespect I will be back for my business card and you.
Shit just got serious, my smile vanished and my good mood
took an dive. I was sick as a dog anyway. She wanted to go
out to eat at someplace posh and all I could handle was a
cheeseburger from Burger rat.
I sat and cried like hell in the car over what happened
until she pulled off the road and looked at me. She said
look Dad I love you and no one is going to fuck with you as
long as I am around. You did the same for me many times
in my life now it’s my turn. She then apologised for
speaking so loudly I could hear, then added it would have
been fuck all right then if I told her I was going to shove
my three hundred dollar shoes up her ass one at a time, the
look on her face with my shoes hangin out her erse would
have been classic. I laughed then feel asleep in her rented
car.

[154]
 By the end of transiton I had discovered loose clothing
and no worries.
We are all who we are on the inside without clothing,
clothing does not define who we are it is merely an
expression of our taste, in some cases, peoples lack thereof.

Is my being Transsexual a choice?

Why not ask me why I wanted to be born. Frankly, I
would have preferred staying in my heaven when I died
again in 2009. Alas, I was born with a body that did not
match my brain. Effectively I was born with an appendage
in lay terms a birth defect. I did not have a choice to be
born, so the answer is no.
Fact is no matter what people say or do they will not
change who I am, and my happiness matters more to me
than their uneducated opinions, implications, baseless
assertions and demands.

Kath did you Transition just to have sex?

No.

[155]
Why is there a surge in Transphobia?
The true axis of evil: the Clergy, Media and Politicans.
The gullible imbiciles who believe every thing these
three groups feed them are pitiful.

The Invisible and Visible Transsexual/Transgender

Activist
I speak from experiences
There are the Transsexual activist who are constantly
visible in the community then there are the invisible
activist. My only thought upon entering transition was
meeting my goals completing transition and getting on with
my life.
I never thought of myself as an activist but by answering
tasteful questions of the professional and lay community
during Transition I would become well known to so many
people outside the area in which I live as what one young
nurse kindly called me “The Invisible Activist.”
I had somehow managed to remain very much behind the
scenes and in nineteen ninety-five this was wise, as I was
being beaten and abused for being myself.
Obtaining the Fulcrum filled with information certain
people in the community had been trying to get their hands-
on for several years was a dangerous leap of faith in my
fellow beings. I accomplished this task quietly and once
again behind the scenes.
My contact with the then small Transsexual community
was limited by frequent physical illness and by choice.

[156]
 At my own behest after a being treated cruelly during a
hospital state in Bedford, Pa I requested that the hospital
permit me to speak with the nursing staff in the hopes that
as professionals they would want to learn and understand
more pertaining to Gender Identity Disorder. This was done
behind the scenes in a large conference room and to be
honest there was not a lot of interest.
However, a few nurses expressed a need to learn more so
I answered as many of their questions as I could then
referred them several books written by doctors and lawyers
in the fields of gender studies. I recall one nurse saying to
me my God how could people be so mean to you I became
a nurse to heal people not hurt them.
I visited other medical facilities where I also spoke
answered questions and referred those interested to books
written by people like Shelia Kirk, M.D. and Martine
Rothblatt, J.D., Martine signed a copy of her book to me
when it was published, later she sent me a very nice
personal letter.
There were books written by individuals working in the
field of behavioural psychology specifically those
addressing and treating patients with gender dysphoria and
the various details and issues facing the pre-op
Transsexual.
When I spoke to these groups, I dressed conservatively. I
suggest you leave the bright red or orange lipstick at home
as well the high heels, miniskirts, and high fashion
clothing.
Wear a nice pair of jeans, a solid colour top, not bright
red or pink but a soft colour.

[157]
 When you present to professionals such as nurses they
are more receptive to conservative manners of dress, a
smile and polite attitude. When speaking in public I suggest
you dress for the occasion and remember when people look
at you, they are looking at everyone in the Transsexual
community.
An internet activist is highly visible to the public; if you
wish to promote the Transsexual or the MTF Transgender
community do so tastefully. First off know your facts,
research them and validate them using professional
statements, not blog supposition. Speak clearly, stay on
topic, and if you must state an opinion clarifying that the
statement is your own opinion.
The professional and public at large are not interested in
seeing your selfies they are interested in what you have to
say, selfies and a catalogue of pictures of you in various
outfits may look nice to you they also present you as
someone who is insecure and childish to the public. To the
public, this is also a deterrent and a distraction as well a
poor representation of the community.
I suggest using one tasteful photo of yourself, not scantily
dressed but with your best face on, a head shot.
Should you feel a full photo is required dressed
conservatively dress like a school teacher not like you
would for a party.
Since the public has a limited attention span it is wise to
only run your photo now and then not constantly.
Otherwise, they will simply look at your face not you
talking points and move on.

[158]
 Be engaging and approachable talk to people, strike up a
conversation and you will learn far more from an audience
than you will with a simple
Q&A
If you seek attention disregard everything I have said and
once again let this sink in real deep the public sees you as
an example of the Transsexual/Transgender community be
responsible not self-centered and think of the lives of others
in the community, because your vanity may flame the fires
of hate and get someone killed.

[159]
 Compliments a sudden tearful realisation.
After the reluctant and pressed disclosure of my GRS on
the internet, I received a great deal of mail unrelated to my
psychic abilities. Aside from the rubbish and hateful
remarks with regard to GRS, I was blessed to have received
several letters from people thanking me for my disclosure
and then there were others that evoked great emotion.
A young woman had written and asked me why would
you go mainstream Kath, you’ve been stealth for decades?
She had written me a three-page letter noting she was
being mentored by a woman that shared her own transition
story.
As it turns out the woman she spoke of not only told her
she knew me but also proceeded to itemize many not all of
the things I had done during my transition that helped her
and the Transsexual community.
She added that it was thought by several that I had passed
away even hearing rumours of my having helped other
Transsexuals a rumour is a rumour.
This woman’s mentor was, in fact, someone I had helped
and although her transition had taken place in a major city,
she had a very difficult time.
The young lady who authored this letter referred to me as
one of the Transsexual Pioneers and Silent Heroes that she
looks up to on her journey.
I am no Pioneer, Martine Rothblatt and Shelia Kirk, are
pioneers when their book was released Sheila sent me a
signed copy of Medical, Legal & Workplace Issues for the
Transsexual; she later sent me a personal hand written letter
wishing me the best on my journey.

[160]
 The young lady went on to mention several of my bold
accomplishments that I had long forgotten, and I
intentionally left out of Through the Darkness.
I disagree with being called a Pioneer but it is her right to
make this statement.
Nevertheless, I had not realised all I had experienced
survived and done, would have brought about such
awareness and positive change not only for those with
Gender Dysphoria but those who may be pursuing answers
regarding their own Gender Identity or someone else who
wishes to know the facts with regard to gender dysphoria.
Concerning the letter, other things said and expressed to
me, when I read the last paragraph, I stopped and began to
cry uncontrollably. I suddenly realised that indeed all of the
things I did then matter now!

[161]
My awakening to further truths in June 2015
Having endured such things that others may have surely faded
from, I now feel comfortable with the compliments and
accolades recently bestowed upon me.
Perhaps the greatest of all is that the actions of myself and
others may have saved someone’s life in the future by way of our
sacrifices. Present day society although imperfect is in some
ways easier to navigate for the Transsexual with a lot less
resistance and negativity from state and federal workers.
Many Healthcare facilities including Hospitals are now
accommodating Transsexual people. There are also laws against
mistreating Transsexual people in these facilities.
I live my truth, I have done so the past two-plus decades and
will do so the rest of this life. Having also been called brave by
numerous people over the years at this moment I realise that
what I had done was indeed brave.
My transition evokes but few sour emotions I discussed
several of them in the book, for the most part, it is the joy in
knowing that I did, in fact, overcome many obstacles, at times
they overwhelmed me.
What I find rewarding is my breaking a few barriers and a
changing a few rules along the way, best of all I helped others
like me in in their futures.
Having completed my transition I am no longer considered an
intense true Transsexual, I am in all accordance with the law
female most importantly I am myself a complete person.
With the exception of my medical records reading born male,
no other legal or personal documents reflect this, as I have said I
am no longer considered an intense Transsexual.
All things being said should someone feel a need to add
anything to my publication, should you desperately need to
say I missed something, or seek to correct me, one up me,
attempt to belittle or define me, I say feck off.

[162]
 To those who would twist facts and valid statements while
injecting their opinions and thereby presenting them, as facts
do not. My advice to you is to write your own fucking book!
As for any and all negative opinions, I suggest you take them
to some faraway land where people may give a flying fuck about
them.
Speaking of negative, the majority of those in my family were
bad for my health. I do not wish to call them a cancer they were
more like a painful festering boil that gets into that area you can
not quite reach with a washcloth. I will no longer tolerate people
of this nature nor will I permit them to enter my heart or my
home.
Furthermore, I have no need of any one's validation as a
woman. Spare me the endorsement as to say to me I respect you
as a woman, I know I am a woman.
I have taken the beatings physically and emotionally, I have
been raped and literally been pissed on after being beaten
unconscious. I lived and learned what is written between the
pages of my life, through my own blood, bruises, and tears.
. Although my health records are noted at the bottom born
male I no longer care unless it becomes an issue to a provider.
I may refer to myself as a Transsexual to make a valid point
during a conversation regarding gender dysphoria and in fact, I
am a woman, who was a Transsexual. Why would I remain on
the same path of defining myself as a Transsexual after having
accomplished the task of finding and understanding myself then
moving forward and making a life for myself?
Being a Transsexual that is active in the community comes
with great responsibility.
For those who so choose to advocate you are the
representatives and educators that society sees as the example
that may shape a positive future.

[163]
 You are not crusaders or conquerors; you are delegates and
ambassadors so choose your words and actions wisely. Be kind
in the face of ignorance walk away, be the better person and do
not give in to the hatred, bigotry and fear.

The Transsexual/Transgender help center

These resources are a must read and must have for every
Transsexual/Transgender individual and or any interested
parties. None of the resources stated below were available to me
during my transition in the nineties. I have included updated
standards of care published by WPATH formerly the Harry
Benjamin association. I ask you dinnae complain if one of these
links does not magically resolve your issues, you cannot expect
others to do it all for you so chin up and rise abouve it.
During my transition, I was grateful when someone treated
me like a human being or called me by my legal name Kathryn.
For the majority of Transsexual/Transgender issues this link
is another doorway to the facts and the resources that are often
needed by the Transsexual/Transgender individual during
transition and after.

The Transgender law center below has a US map

with a menu next to it. There you can choose from a
variety of issues by state.
http://transgenderlawcenter.org/equalitymap
Important note regarding the Harry Benjamin
Association.
I reference the Benjamin scale throughout the book
The Harry Benjamin society changed its name several years
ago http://www.hrc.org/resources/world-professional-
association-for-transgender-health-wpath
http://www.transequality.org/

[164]
 Updated Standards of care
http://lgbtqi2stoolkit.org/pdf/WPATH_Standards.pdf
The Southern poverty law center is an excellent
resource. Please do explore their site there is a plethora
of information there. List of active hate groups. This list is
not complete
https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-
report/2015/active-anti-lgbt-groups
Anti Violence
http://www.transequality.org/issues/anti-violence
The ACLU
https://www.aclu.org/
The Transgender law center below has a US map with a
menu next to it. Self explanatory.
http://transgenderlawcenter.org/equalitymap
The APA online
http://www.apaonline.org/search/all.asp?c=&bst=Transgend
er+mental+illness
The Transsexual/ Transgender gender equality map
http://transgenderlawcenter.org/equalitymap
Links below are self explanatory
http://www.vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/transgender-rights/
Inclusion in health care
http://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-inclusive-benefits-
for-employees-and-dependent
Know your rights as a Transsexual.
If America truly lived by the virtues of liberty and freedom
protected by our Politicians and leaders no one would be
concerned with their rights as everyone would be equal. Here is
the link. http://www.transequality.org/know-your-rights
Medicare, transition related care including hormones.
http://www.transequality.org/know-your-rights/medicare
Nursing home and personal care facilities rights.

[165]
 http://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-
rights/transgender/trans-seniors-faq
Open enrollment health care for the Transsexual/Transgender
individual
http://www.transequality.org/getting-covered-while-trans-
an-open-letter-on-open-enrollment
For counseling call Persad at this number 1-888-873-7723 or go
to https://persadcenter.org/pages/transgender-services
The Dr. Harry Benjamin standards of care is a must read, it is a
wealth of information regarding the Transsexual.
http://lgbt.wikia.com/wiki/Benjamin_scale
http://www.twentyclub.net/docs/bscale.html

Sex isn’t chromosomes: the story of a century of

misconceptions about X & Y
http://www.newstatesman.com/future-proof/2015/02/sex-
isn-t-chromosomes-story-century-misconceptions-about-x-y

More on Transsexual/Transgender rights

https://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights/transgender-people-
and-law
https://www.aclu.org/map/non-discrimination-laws-state-
state-information-map
The bathroom myth debunked
http://mediamatters.org/research/2014/03/20/15-experts-
debunk-right-wing-transgender-bathro/198533
Bathroom issue debunked by GLAAD
http://www.glaad.org/sites/default/files/Debunking_the_Bathroo
m_Bill_Myth_2016.pdf
The Transsexual/Transgender voter
http://www.transequality.org/issues/voting-rights

[166]
The facts concerning regret post GRS. Please visit
the links posted with this article. The article itself is a synopsis
the links are quite in depth and validated.
I hear the usual bigoted, uneducated liars or internet parrots
tossing about percentage numbers and outright falsities as to the
valid numbers related to surgical regret experienced by post op
Transsexual well here are the facts.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/myths-
about-transition-regrets_b_6160626.html
Other valid and useful information regarding GRS
regret.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/262734734_An_A
nalysis_of_All_Applications_for_Sex_Reassignment_Surgery_i
n_Sweden_1960-2010_Prevalence_Incidence_and_Regrets
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274833229_Psych
osocial_outcome_and_quality_of_sexual_life_after_sex_reassign
ment_surgery_An_Italian_multicentric_study

Living my truth by using all of this life’s collective

knowledge and experiences.
I have no regrets. I planned, layout, and executed such
things that in effect made the statement I had left the planet
earth. I had intended to leave my then situation anyway because I
had become tired of being used, rather than engaged in endless
arguments I settled all my debts and left.
Some, including my first wife until recently, assumed I was
deceased. My three true friends who later decided they could no
longer associate with me because of their religion and their
family’s assertions that I am an abomination to God abandoned
me and in so doing, spared me the misery of their religious
rhetoric. With exceptions, most of my family disowned me and
that suited me to the ground.

[167]
 From transition to completion and beyond, I have done what
needed to be done with very little help, through illness, time
living alone and even living in a ghetto for several years.
I am so happy for those who have supportive families. I
hope these Transsexual and Transgender individuals fully
appreciate their love and do their best to accommodate and
educate them with kind words and tolerance for their occasional
lack of understanding. Learn and grow together, let this
interaction strengthen your relationships not weaken it.

Jotter letter removed from original

publication.
A somber offering fallen from the lips of a dying
woman.
I wish I could say with crystal clarity that Transphobia
will come to pass in my lifetime and I cannot. Permit me to
offer this encompassing truth and say I will not live to see
the day when all Americans are treated as equals.
With deep conviction, I say equality in America has
ever existed in or on anything other than a well intended
and compassionate thought etched into brief libretti with a
blood-soaked quill dipped in iron gall cast.
This text applied with great reverence and faith that all
shall be free of religious and political tyranny that these
mandates set by the hands of honourable men as pledge that
all shall stand and remain with liberty and justice for all.
These great men constructed and set the foundation of
our America and their plighted convictions have now faded
from their purpose as if ancient spectres.

[168]
 Now, these assurances scarcely discernible set drenched
in the blood of those who risked and gave their lives for our
liberty and equal freedoms for all.
This liberty, our liberty, these vows now flout as relics
treated as so many pieces of silt thereby kept by unwise
guardians, custodians of these torn and tattered declarations
forever enshrined on a meaningless piece of parchment
treated as animal skin. Then to be sold as facsimiles to the
tourist who believe patriotism is merely prologue and
death.
The most formidable of testation’s’ resound of their
truths and compassionate cause for without parity we
remain yoked, imposed and afflicted, indeterminately in a
retro-causation of the apartheid beset us by the debauchery
of those who have made the philosophical choice to
embrace the lies of evil.

The time has come

The enemies of this equal freedom for Americans upon
their inception for and by our republic do so loath a
certainty that chairs all Americans equal to one and
another. Much as the brown shirts of old these adversaries
of equal freedoms proclaim that Trans individuals be
beaten or murdered on sight. For you see there is profit in
conflict more so than in peace alas many are doomed to
partake of it as they have chosen witlessness in place of
enlightenment.

[169]
 These terrified afflicters of despair are goaded by their
unrelenting fear of being revealed and held to account by
the people for their criminal acts as they continue to plot
and launch constant offensives. The good offence has
proven the best defence for the guilty.
Such are these false Kings for they are iniquitous
creatures cloaking themselves as Gods children thereby
feeding off the public's fear and blind devotion so they may
then give credence to every fabrication without question of
validity.
Thusly such misdirected misrepresentations are
promoted and morphed into gruesome objects to be
marginalised by the public’s favourite news networks,
televangelist, clergy, politicians, and the internets inane
drones, revered for their bigoted buffoonery, boorish
aphorisms and execrable portentous proclamations.
Our empty suited elected congressional and senatorial
ordure of all parties fret with trepidation that it never be
discovered they are so many murderers, paedophiles,
thieves, sexual sadist, philanderers, and rapist.
To perpetuate these illusions a goat must be prepared
and slaughtered daily insight of the world and projected by
media propagandizers as to draw such attentive and curious
eyes away from the persecutioners’ wanton depravity. This
transphobia is a diabolically constructed folly continually
quenched by the blood of so many dead Transgender/
Transsexual individuals. The dark and bloody works of
these destroyers shall move forward without hesitation and
with such fury as to surmount the lands and seas with such
throng as to breach the Aether.

[170]
 All that the destroyers’ self-righteousness and
murderous sin be revealed as the truth that it is by their
individual choice they assemble such tributes at the feet of
their psychotic and hateful God of darkness.
These friendless flotsam continue to rip and tear the
very notion of equality asunder, there will be no free
America for us, no reprieve, no pardon as once they have
accomplished this genocide of Transgender/Transsexual
individuals they will select a fresh goat.
While they seek out the goat they will find their own
reflections and disregard them with haste as they carelessly
forge ahead driven by their thirst for a total destruction of
all and anyone they choose to see as flawed and is a
marketable objectifiable target for the public.
As history repeats itself, once the slaughter of innocents
is over the destroyers declare their God has commanded
these deeds be performed in his name. Therefore, these
medieval wretches shall bear no culpability by way of their
legal religious freedom shields.
Their shields carefully constructed in pools of bigotry
and God hating lunacy grants them pardon for such horrific
acts as they are commanded by their hideous, bloodthirsty
God and their deeply held religious beliefs. The party of
theocratic fascist will boast of victories to then welter in
their bile brimmed with ignorance and stupidity. These
pretentious acts are driven and endorsed by drunken power
mad politicians and charlatans fleecing their constituents
and flocks of their immortality and meagre balances of
current accounts.

[171]
 Such actions unrealized by a blind, devastated, and
misdirected public as these shameful endeavours give not
praise to Gods glory, diametrically purposed to glut thine
own unholy coffers with blood and treasure by and through
the punctilious and diabolical manipulations of misled
fanatical simpletons.
When they come, I question who will have such mettle
as to afford us sanctuary. Various doors are closed even
now and it may be a crime to give us sanctuary or to
conceal us.
Some of us will flee; others shall fight while several;
will fall. Will the Christian terrorist who claim to speak for
their benevolent God give pardon to our families and
friends?
Will they hang them or put a bullet through their heads
then toss them beside those of us who have fallen into a
shallow grave filled with multitudes of cadavers.
In conclusion
“My heart is broken and my faith in the compassion and
empathy for each and all that once defined our America is
gone.
We all of us are being systematically exterminated
merely for our existence and there will be no Calvary
dispatched for our inclusion. There will continue to be
cameras recording videos of our being beaten and executed.
An exponential stream of videos created by selfish ill-bred
scum for youtube likes and viewing on the nightly news.
Americans are terrified and afraid that they may be
asked to interrupt their day and verbally or physically asked
to stand up for the freedom, liberty and justice of their
fellow Americans.

[172]
 We have battlefields and cemeteries filled with men and
women who gave their all for what? That ignorant religious
zealots can belittle and harm other Americans who also
fought and have family who fought for freedom because
they believe their God has deemed some more equal than
others.
My sixth gen great Granda and Grand Uncles fought in
the Revolutionary War at the great battle of Monmouth
N.J., and for what, that some Anti-American cult
masquerading as a Christian American should appropriate
my freedoms and liberty?
The blood and tears of my family and the families of
others will not be forgotten that a madman may wash away
their deeds for being a part and party to the birth to our
Nation. A Christ-hating buffoon would only dare think that
our freedom and liberty for all is theirs for the taking just to
accommodate and pacify the bigotry and hate taught by a
sick and twisted religion.
Franklin Graham and John Hagee have bigoted loon’s
fallen oot of their arses.
Why did generations of my American family fight for
the freedom of others and ourselves in the Civil War, WWI,
and WWII, Korea, Vietnam and the Gulf? Why and for
What?
I say to the true Christians please take your religion
back as it is now under the control of Christ-hating
apostates of hell.
They are dragging Christ through their false Gods dens
of inequity, division, and wickedness.

[173]
 I am not a Christian but my Christian father taught me,
in his own words, “in all you do, you make Christ your
partner when you refuse to help those seeking to stand even
with you; you make Christ your partner. When you judge
another you make Christ your partner when you
intentionally harm another you make Christ your partner.
When you do nothing to help someone being unjustly
denied their liberty, freedom, and happiness you make
Christ your partner”
If you are willing to gamble with your salvation
continue to do nothing and look the other way, continue
with your indifference as your fellow Americans are being
tortured and slaughtered for their existence.
Press on in your torpor and once the theocratic fascists
come for you, and they will it’s only an instant in time
before you do something they find fault with and there will
be no one left to help you.
I never thought I would speak the words fear, terrified
and American in one pointed article, indeed I spoke them
and they are distressing words of truth.
Within such killing and unrest, this America has
become a vile place set so deep in its own oblivion even the
light of compassion, empathy and acceptance fail to
penetrate the depths of human consciousness.
Those who claim to speak for God are loathsome
creatures scuttling about the darkness doing the business of
their master that doth not step into the light.
Be assured my soul is prepared to leave this God
forsaken place and I have no fear of death.

[174]
 These foolish spokespersons of God who are a mere
men hiding behind a wall of cowardice and closeted sexual
orientations have condemned themselves.
History reprises itself that treacherous evildoers shall
stew in their admonition plotting to depose of their virtuous
God. Upon sluicing their hands in the blood of the one
called I am’s children that they have cut and divided to
ribbons they shall anoint themselves with the sustenance of
civilisation so declaring to be Gods unto themselves in their
ego-eccentrical hauteur.
Evil men and women do so fear the curtain of death for
they intrinsically have a collective knowing within their
dwindling light that they shall be devoured thru their
constructed psychosis. Enthralled and exited of their
Sadistic acquisitiveness thru observing the pain and
suffering they continue to inflict upon those who have the
courage to leap from denial and live within their personal
truth. One's happiness doth bring forth such excruciating
and corporal agony that it renders bitter truths of repulsive
cretins, thusly indemnifying a subsequent revisitation to
diffidence and self-loathing.
I beg no pardon for my lack of sorrow or consideration
for these enemies’ of humanity. I care nothing of them nor
their existence. By having seen and endured the cruel lash
of their whips by their sharpened hatred these inhuman
entities are void of love which has therefore rendered them
pitiful, abandoned but for of their social anxiety disorders.
For want to suckle the light of life itself thru the
suffering of those they torment they shall wander soulless
and obsessive in their quest for interminable victims till
crack of doom.

[175]
 As an American patriout I shall stand with my last
breath for freedom and liberty for all. As an American
citizen I am offended.
Kath Campbell 2015

A Final word
I offer this to those about to begin or who have begun their
journey as Transsexuals. Maintain your appearance and make it
secondary to what is first and foremost forever is your identity.
It is such a vulgar and ham-fisted world we live in as lies are
propounded to be indisputable truths while the truths themselves
are suppressed by religious, political, and self-proclaimed tyrants
who practice heresy, sedition, and oppression.
These enemies of the people use the propaganda of fear,
division, and twisted religious scripture to incite tribalism and
hate in order to fuel the fires that are burning American into dust
while making themselves extremely wealthy.
What stirs my emotions to this day is that some delusional
imbecil may decide to kill me because he or she thinks it’s their
Christian duty and they are doing Gods’ work.
This is something you would think of happening in some
faraway land ruled by religious fanatics; I never thought that
such a place would be the United States of America.
Those who know me will tell you I have no fear of death,
I’ve seen it four times. I once feared life now I embrace it every
moment of the day.
“I do not live behind walls I live in front of experiences
facing each new day looking forward to the best of it and on into
the next tomorrow.”

[176]
 With tears in my eyes let it be said of me that I continue to
live in the now, still, I am ever mindful of what is past but not
residing there, having the comfort in knowing that my soul
remains unchanged for I am now and have always been Kathryn.

Thank you
A special thank you and a big hug to the centre of my
universe for their unconditional love, understanding, and
compassion through the years.
Thank you to my amazing daughter in law for going to great
lengths in order that my son and I may begin again. Thank you to
my son for making the effort to move forward into a bright
future. Thank you to my grandchildren for accepting and not
judging me.
A big thank you to my best friend Jeanne whose love and
friendship I shall always cherish.
Thank you to the Transgender Law centre for all they do and
make possible today.
Thank you to the other silent heroes for your courage under
fire; know that every positive step you have taken and or take to
help others will help others in the times to come.
Thanks to James my twenty some years past therapist. One
of the finest professionals and human beings I have ever known.
Thank you to the PhDs, MDs, Therapist, and gender
sciences specialist who were also a major part of my then and
surely not forgotten in my now.
Thanks to those who are making the effort to learn and
understand what Gender Dysphoria is as well the related issues
in order that they may inspire other like minded individuals who
seek answers and knowledge to help resolve their concerns.
Special thanks to those who have been kind, accepting, and
supportive of me through the years.

[177]
 To everyone who has asked me well thought out questions
while seeking a better understanding of gender dysphoria thank
you. .
I am so blessed by family and friends please know that I
thank you for permitting me to be part of your life and I would
be a lesser person if you were not part of mine..
My cup runneth over.

[178]
[179]
[180]
[181]
[182]
[183]