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Men Explain Things to Me
Men Explain Things to Me
Men Explain Things to Me
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Men Explain Things to Me

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The National Book Critics Circle Award–winning author delivers a collection of essays that serve as the perfect “antidote to mansplaining” (The Stranger).
 
In her comic, scathing essay “Men Explain Things to Me,” Rebecca Solnit took on what often goes wrong in conversations between men and women. She wrote about men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don’t, about why this arises, and how this aspect of the gender wars works, airing some of her own hilariously awful encounters.
 
She ends on a serious note— because the ultimate problem is the silencing of women who have something to say, including those saying things like, “He’s trying to kill me!”
 
This book features that now-classic essay with six perfect complements, including an examination of the great feminist writer Virginia Woolf’s embrace of mystery, of not knowing, of doubt and ambiguity, a highly original inquiry into marriage equality, and a terrifying survey of the scope of contemporary violence against women.
 
“In this series of personal but unsentimental essays, Solnit gives succinct shorthand to a familiar female experience that before had gone unarticulated, perhaps even unrecognized.” —The New York Times
 
“Essential feminist reading.” —The New Republic
 
“This slim book hums with power and wit.” —Boston Globe
 
“Solnit tackles big themes of gender and power in these accessible essays. Honest and full of wit, this is an integral read that furthers the conversation on feminism and contemporary society.” —San Francisco Chronicle
 
“Essential.” —Marketplace
 
“Feminist, frequently funny, unflinchingly honest and often scathing in its conclusions.” —Salon
LanguageEnglish
Release dateApr 14, 2014
ISBN9781608464579
Men Explain Things to Me
Author

Rebecca Solnit

Rebecca Solnit is the author of more than twenty books on feminism, western and indigenous history, popular power, social change and insurrection, hope and disaster, including A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster (Penguin, 2010) and Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities (Haymarket, 2016).

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Rating: 3.9168207223659888 out of 5 stars
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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book broke down really complex issues into very simplistic understandable concepts. I used some of the authors quotes on one of my social media pages and thousands of people resonated with her words! I’m so grateful to have read this because it taught me a lot ??✨
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Wow! An intelligent and angry person writes intelligent and angry essays about feminism, rape culture and toxic masculinity. I agree with everything she says (well, except maybe that ode to Virginia Woolf), and reading this book made me want to be a better man. I know I have a long way to go, but Solnit makes me want to try harder.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    So I just finished this book last night and I think it's really valuable to read.

    I think it was valuable for me to read a book published so recently, because so often I hear that women are already considered equals and we don't need feminism in today's society. We do.

    Solnit wrote a book that I thought was really relatable and also packed with a lot of evidence of numbers and statistics and presents interesting case studies. The numbers made it a little bit dry at times, and it's sad that she needed so much evidence to prove her point. (Or that she had such a wealth to choose from) but I thought they were important, even if they did detract from the essays a little bit.

    She talks about issues that are very dear to me (marriage equality, trolling, rape culture) and makes wonderful arguments for them all. I loved her essay on Virginia Woolf and I don't really have a favourite essay but as always, you prefer some to others.

    This is a really short and sweet book and a really good resource! I'm hoping to read Laura Bates' Everyday Sexism after this - I'll be on the lookout for more recently published feminist books.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Sharp uses of words and facts, almost too much to digest in one read. I did have to look up certain stories and events referenced, so I wonder if it might be helpful to have more detail included on that end-- perhaps this is out of scope for what she intended. In any case, it was a good read.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Short book of essays, including the titular one, about mansplaining and Virginia Woolf and hope, as well as about violence against women. I want to believe Solnit that we won’t go backwards, but when Russia is decriminalizing domestic violence I find it hard to sustain hope except as a matter of faith.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Rebecca Solnit is indignant. And she has every right to be. She also has a sense of humor, which effectively leavens her anger. But make no mistake—her articulate and evocative writing in this collection of nine previously published (mostly online) essays is fueled by a keen sense of social justice, especially (but not exclusively) as it pertains to gender.Perhaps best known for the title essay, she relates the frustratingly bizarre and insulting social interaction that occasioned her writing it. This edition includes a coda that addresses the rise in the use of the term "mansplaining," for which she disavows complete credit while helping to focus the meaning of the word. Like any effective writer, Solnit supports her arguments (and there are many worth noting) with facts, details, and references. Unfortunately, for anyone wishing to follow up on these references, she omits documentation of her sources, explaining in the Acknowledgments that doing so would have resulted in innumerable “ponderous” footnotes. She does mention that the source citations are available in the online versions of these essays, which is a minor inconvenience. Despite the brevity of these essays (none exceeds 20 pages), they are indeed powerful and eye-opening declarations. Just try to read “The Longest War” without getting peeved. “Cassandra Among the Creeps” is likewise infuriating. She also provides some much-needed context for the #MeToo movement (which originated after this book’s publication in 2014) with her analysis of the #YesAllWomen movement in the essay of the same name, subtitled “Feminists Rewrite the Story.” One motif that informs every essay in this collection is Solnit’s belief in words, the power they wield, and the power afforded to those brave enough to use them. If you want to know what feminism sounds like in the 21st century, read this book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The title essay was great. The rest... repetitive preaching to the choir. Also a little dated now, as if anyone could have imagined what US politics would become in 2018. The Woolf piece belonged in another book entirely.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Smart and deeply interesting.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The title essay centers around an incident when a man explained to the author why a particular book was such an important one on a subject. Upon being told that she was the author of that book, he was stunned speechless. It relates most directly to the title of the book. Other essays focus on the rape culture, feminist movement and ways in which problems of inequality have been made more public and are more widely discussed. The writing seems disjointed because the essays were published separately and are not tied together textually. Very well written with important insights into major societal problems.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Good stuff. I will basically read anything Rebecca Solnit writes, because she's smart and interesting and makes me think.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I've read the title essay by Rebecca Solnit many times (and invoked it in conversation many, many more), but it was nice to read more widely by her. She has a lucid, sometimes lyrical writing style, and even if most of what she had to say wasn't new to me, she articulated it beautifully -- especially on points about power dynamics and bodily autonomy.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Solnit is always great, and this brief collection is no exception. Curiously enough, even though I was impressed by the titular essay when it originally ran online, I actually found it to be one of the weaker pieces here. More damning is a piece where Solnit catalogues the violence against women in the world today: an epidemic that so fills your vision that it's hard to even parse as a discrete thing and not just background noise or a bunch of disconnected events.

    The essays here might be a good way into Solnit for those unfamiliar or intimidated by her bigger stuff, but most are nowhere near her longer works like River of Shadows, a personal favorite. But hey, hard for me to complain about more published stuff by one of the more exciting and incisive thinkers today.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A short collection of essays provides fertile ground for growing new ideas.When I first started reading Solnit's essays, I felt angry. That's okay; I'm used to feeling angry. What I liked about this collection is that she goes beyond anger, which can lead all too easily to feelings of despair and hopelessness, and she does provide hope for a brighter future, as well as an impetus that we all keep doing our small part because everyone's work toward equality is important. Many reviewers have commented on "Woolf's Darkness" as an outlier piece in this collection, but it was the essay I most highlighted, because it talks about how creative work gets done and ties that into the limitations placed on women, and also because it introduces the idea that the future is dark. We cannot know what will happen in the future or how our actions now might make a difference. We are all spinners in a web, and how those threads come together, we just don't know, but those threads are all necessary, so we cannot stop our work, whatever it may be. We all make a difference.Solnit says in this essay: "To me, the grounds for hope are simply that we don't know what will happen next, and that the unlikely and the unimaginable transpire quite regularly. And that the unofficial history of the world shows that dedicated individuals and popular movements can shape history and have, though how and when we might win and how long it takes is not predictable.""Despair is a form of certainty, certainty that the future will be a lot like the present or will decline from it; despair is a confident memory of the future, in Gonzalez's resonant phrase. Optimism is similarly confident about what will happen. Both are grounds for not acting. Hope can be the knowledge that we don't have that memory and that reality doesn't necessarily match our plans..."While this essay spoke volumes to me, my favorite essay was "Grandmother Spider," which begins by showing how women have been erased from family lines and thus from history, and ends by honoring the work of women, all of it, and how it taken together weaves an intricate and beautiful web:"Every woman who appears wrestles with the forces that would have her disappear. She struggles with the forces that would tell her story for her, or write her out of the story, the genealogy, the rights of man, the rule of law. The ability to tell your own story, in words or images, is already a victory, already a revolt."An inspiring collection for all people.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The first half was what I thought the book would be about, and the second half drifted to touch on some of the themes of Solnit's other works. I'm a big fan of hers, so it was interesting, but the first part was best. It brings together very recent (2012) events in the course of explaining the phenomenon of sexual entitlement, still operating in the US and around the world today. Made me think.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Highly recommended for the titular essay alone, but nearly every essay in this short volume is worth reading. A very thought-provoking book. I have experienced many of the themes described in this book, including men explaining things to me, so I really connected. But even if you haven't, this is thought-provoking about a number of topics, including violence against women and conservative objections to gay marriage. As other reviewers have noted, the Virginia Woolf essay seems out of place, but I did find it interesting just I just read Mrs. Dalloway a few months ago.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Of course I chose this for the title, but it turned out to be a good read. The author had written a critically praised non-fiction book and, at a party, was lectured about the book by a man who (a) hadn't read it, and (b) was told several times that THE WOMAN HE WAS MANSPLAINING WAS THE AUTHOR. He still took some time to back down. That's the essence of the first essay. I remember Deborah Tannen saying in one of her books that women speak to share and men speak to instruct.The other six essays are solid, especially one where Solnit posits that some of the resentment about gay marriage is actually hatred of marriage equality, whereby straight men and straight women are striving towards gender equity within their relationships. Except for the ones that don't.More on violence and on Virginia Woolf. Short and very readable.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I picked up the book without much preconception, maybe only that I will read a couple of anecdotes. The book, although it's a collection of essays, turned out to be much deeper than that. The problem for me was that it made references to concepts I didn't know and books I've never read, mainly of Virginia Woolf, and Susan Sontag. I think this book is an excellent contemporary commentary on works of Woolf and Sontag, but without having read them I felt lost at times.

    The book resembles Everyday Sexism, which I would recommend to people who aren't acquainted with works of Woolf and Sontag.

    I'm considering patching up my literary knowledge, and I'm certainly going to look into "tyranny of the quantifiable".
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This work springboarded from an essay of the same name in which the author, an accomplished scholar, details how men (who know nothing about her field) sit her down and explain things to her. While she acknowledges that this can happen to both genders, she details the fact that this happens to women all the time, with a greater frequency than for men. She then moves on to discuss other aspects of feminism, which she proudly embraces without resort to disclaimers. The only weakness in the book, in my opinion, was the essay on Virginia Woolf, which seemed a bit fringe for this book. It did deal tangentially with the idea of feminism, but it wasn't as compelling as the other essays in the book. The author writes lightly, so the book is readable, but not so lightly that it renders a serious subject trivial. This book should be a must read for anyone who thinks we're living in a post-sexist society.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I had already read the title essay from this collection, which is sometimes credited for spawning the term "mansplaining," though that word does not occur in the essay. I enjoyed reading it again, as I also very much enjoyed reading the rest of the essays in this collection.

    For one reason and another, my Ms. magazines have been piling up unread lately, so it was very refreshing to read essays that did not need to justify their feminism, distance themselves from other feminists, or be followed by a rage-inducing comment section that makes you want to weep for humanity. These essays are smart, unapologetic, make fascinating connections, and somehow make me feel hopeful even as they make it very clear how far feminism still has to go.

    Between this book and the last I read, it's clear I really need to read some more Virginia Woolf.

    HIghly recommended. A quick and thought-provoking read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Finished the first book in my Women's History Month series. "Men Explain Things To Me" is the title essay that inspired the phrase "mansplaining" (Solnit never uses the phrase). Solnit includes eight others covering most of the major issues raised by feminists. The ones that touched my heart as well as my head were "Worlds Collide in a Luxury Suite" (dealing with rape and sexual harassment), "In Praise of the Threat: What Marriage Equality Really Means" (the evolution of women as "equal" in marriage as an unintended consequence of gay marriage), and "Cassandra Among the Creeps" (silencing women's voices--"And yet she persisted"). Each essay is illustrated with a haunting image by Ana Teresa Fernandez. It's been decades since I've read any feminist philosophy. It was good to get back into the groove with this collection of thoughtful, sometimes funny, and always accessible essays.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Given recent political events, it seemed a good time to revisit Rebecca Solnit. I'd read the opening essay in Men Explain Things to Me and a few other articles by her and she has an ability to cut to the heart of an issue and clearly explain what is going on. The title essay begins with her encounter of an older, well-to-do man at a party who, upon hearing she'd written a book about a fairly esoteric subject, proceeded to lecture her about a very important book on the subject that had just been published. When she was finally able to interrupt him long enough to communicate that the book he was telling her about was indeed the book she had written, and which he had only read a review of, his reaction was not to apologize and ask her questions, but to continue his lecture. While this is a particularly blatant example of the phenomenon she discusses in this essay, it's something that happens more often than one would suspect. Her initial essay on the subject led to other women working in academia to also talk about their similar experiences, and then to the coining of the term "mansplaining." Solnit has, as a result, become a polarizing figure. Which is a shame, because her writing is balanced and relentlessly fair. There's no broad sweeps being made at any group. She's interested in how the conversation surrounding equality has moved forward, and there's no doubt, she says, that we have moved forward, and compares where we were as a society in the 1970s when it came to racial, sexual or gender equality. We are still working towards a more just society, but what we're fighting for has changed. Solnit is an academic and historian and so her essays are serious and well-reasoned. She's interested in the environment and anti-war activism as well. Men Explain Things To Me is a hopeful and determined look at our progress toward a more just world, with a clear-eyed look at where we are now and why it matters.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I enjoyed the explicitly feminist essays the most

    Library copy
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The title essay is flawless, funny and incisive, and instantly relatable. While the other essays were smart and thoughtful, the composition of the book became a little frustrating. Had I read each essay individually at different times I expect I would have had a different and more positive reaction. As it was, three of the essays repeated one another a good deal. It was a bit of a Groundhog Day experience, moving from essay to essay and reliving the same discussions. Because of that I would recommend that other readers dip into the book for an essay, put it down and revisit down the road and they will have a better overall reading experience.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A short collection of published essays pointing out things about rights of men and women and the need to get into all kinds of dialogues and communication - loudly, repeatedly, so that, possibly, some troubling issues can be overcome - by the society as a whole. The book includes wonderful strong fantastic black and white images of paintings by Ana Teresa Fernandez.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Another fantastic collections of essays from Rebecca Solnit. She has a great way of explaining vast subjects in easy to grasp understanding.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Super important and relevant, it can only improve you as a member of society, no matter your background. The author does a wonderful job of providing context and naming concepts that perhaps haven't sat right with you, but you couldn't quite put your finger on. There was one chapter in the middle that kind of meandered dryly, but other than that I found it fabulous. I had felt pretty educated and aware of feminist and minority issues, but several parts opened my mind much further. It really touches on some very important things.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    While she has a fine mind, I found the essays uneven in quality and some of the arguments sounded stale.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The great reckoning, in terms of sexual assault, had been bubbling beneath the surface of society for years, decades, even centuries, before it burst through the surface and made headlines in late 2017. The most important aspect I want to make sure that I state in regards to this review is that Men Explain Things to Me is not an essay collection that bashes men.

    Rebecca Solnit’s purpose in collecting together the essays that make up the book Men Explain Things to Me is, like any good journalist’s intention, to make her readers aware of things that are going on in the world today. Each essay in the collection deals at least in some small way how we interact with each other, both as members of society and within personal, intimate relationships. It is about encouraging women to find their voices and encouraging men to think about how their words and actions are perceived and interpreted.

    For a fairly short book (less than 200 pages), it took me the better part of three weeks to read. Not because it was dense, or because I didn’t like, but because I wanted to make sure that I remembered Rebecca’s words and used them to do good in the world. One of the biggest strengths and challenges with the written word is that they can be interpreted in many different ways. Reading Men Explain Things to Me can be twisted and turned to make anyone’s point, and I don’t want to do that. I want to take what Solnit writes and make myself a better contributing member of society. And I have to believe that’s what she would want as well.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The first few chapters gave me high hopes for this short little book. Unfortunately, the second half wasn't nearly as compelling. Being a collection of essays, the author mentions specific events or ideas repeatedly in the same way, basically echoing herself, and it seems like a good editor could have cut the latter half down substantially to make it function more smoothly in book format.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I came into this book thinking it was going to be comical. It is not. Good ideas and well-written, but the author is a little too self-referential to her other works for my taste.

Book preview

Men Explain Things to Me - Rebecca Solnit

Contents

Men Explain Things to Me

The Longest War

Worlds Collide in a Luxury Suite: Some Thoughts on the IMF, Global Injustice, and a Stranger on a Train

In Praise of the Threat: What Marriage Equality Really Means

Grandmother Spider

Woolf’s Darkness: Embracing the Inexplicable

Cassandra Among the Creeps

#YesAllWomen: Feminists Rewrite the Story

Pandora’s Box and the Volunteer Police Force

Image Credits

Acknowledgments

About Haymarket Books

About Dispatch Books

About the Author

© 2014 Rebecca Solnit

Haymarket Books

PO Box 180165

Chicago, IL 60618

773-583-7884

info@haymarketbooks.org

www.haymarketbooks.org

ISBN: 978-1-60846-457-9

Trade distribution:

In the US through Consortium Book Sales and Distribution, www.cbsd.com

In Canada, Publishers Group Canada, www.pgcbooks.ca

Special discounts are available for bulk purchases by organizations and institutions. Please contact Haymarket Books for more information at 773-583-7884 or info@haymarketbooks.org.

This book was published with the generous support of Lannan Foundation and the Wallace Action Fund.

Cover design by Abby Weintraub. Interior images © Ana Teresa Fernandez.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For the grandmothers, the levelers, the dreamers, the men who get it, the young women who keep going, the older ones who opened the way, the conversations that don’t end, and a world that will let Ella Nachimovitz (born January 2014) bloom to her fullest

chapter 1

Men Explain Things to Me

2008

I still don’t know why Sallie and I bothered to go to that party in the forest slope above Aspen. The people were all older than us and dull in a distinguished way, old enough that we, at forty-ish, passed as the occasion’s young ladies. The house was great—if you like Ralph Lauren–style chalets—a rugged luxury cabin at 9,000 feet complete with elk antlers, lots of kilims, and a wood-burning stove. We were preparing to leave, when our host said, No, stay a little longer so I can talk to you. He was an imposing man who’d made a lot of money.

He kept us waiting while the other guests drifted out into the summer night, and then sat us down at his authentically grainy wood table and said to me, So? I hear you’ve written a couple of books.

I replied, Several, actually.

He said, in the way you encourage your friend’s seven-year-old to describe flute practice, And what are they about?

They were actually about quite a few different things, the six or seven out by then, but I began to speak only of the most recent on that summer day in 2003, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West, my book on the annihilation of time and space and the industrialization of everyday life.

He cut me off soon after I mentioned Muybridge. "And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?"

So caught up was I in my assigned role as ingénue that I was perfectly willing to entertain the possibility that another book on the same subject had come out simultaneously and I’d somehow missed it. He was already telling me about the very important book—with that smug look I know so well in a man holding forth, eyes fixed on the fuzzy far horizon of his own authority.

Here, let me just say that my life is well sprinkled with lovely men, with a long succession of editors who have, since I was young, listened to and encouraged and published me, with my infinitely generous younger brother, with splendid friends of whom it could be said—like the Clerk in The Canterbury Tales I still remember from Mr. Pelen’s class on Chaucer—gladly would he learn and gladly teach. Still, there are these other men, too. So, Mr. Very Important was going on smugly about this book I should have known when Sallie interrupted him, to say, That’s her book. Or tried to interrupt him anyway.

But he just continued on his way. She had to say, That’s her book three or four times before he finally took it in. And then, as if in a nineteenth-century novel, he went ashen. That I was indeed the author of the very important book it turned out he hadn’t read, just read about in the New York Times Book Review a few months earlier, so confused the neat categories into which his world was sorted that he was stunned speechless—for a moment, before he began holding forth again. Being women, we were politely out of earshot before we started laughing, and we’ve never really stopped.

I like incidents of that sort, when forces that are usually so sneaky and hard to point out slither out of the grass and are as obvious as, say, an anaconda that’s eaten a cow or an elephant turd on the carpet.

The Slippery Slope of Silencings

Yes, people of both genders pop up at events to hold forth on irrelevant things and conspiracy theories, but the out-and-out confrontational confidence of the totally ignorant is, in my experience, gendered. Men explain things to me, and other women, whether or not they know what they’re talking about. Some men.

Every woman knows what I’m talking about. It’s the presumption that makes it hard, at times, for any woman in any field; that keeps women from speaking up and from being heard when they dare; that crushes young women into silence by indicating, the way harassment on the street does, that this is not their world. It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men’s unsupported overconfidence.

I wouldn’t be surprised if part of the trajectory of American politics since 2001 was shaped by, say, the inability to hear Coleen Rowley, the FBI woman who issued those early warnings about al-Qaeda, and it was certainly shaped by a Bush administration to which you couldn’t tell anything, including that Iraq had no links to al-Qaeda and no WMDs, or that the war was not going to be a cakewalk. (Even male experts couldn’t penetrate the fortress of its smugness.)

Arrogance might have had something to do with the war, but this syndrome is a war that nearly every woman faces every day, a war within herself too, a belief in her superfluity, an invitation to silence, one from which a fairly nice career as a writer (with a lot of research and facts correctly deployed) has not entirely freed me. After all, there was a moment there when I was willing to let Mr. Important and his overweening confidence bowl over my more shaky certainty.

Don’t forget that I’ve had a lot more confirmation of my right to think and speak than most women, and I’ve learned that a certain amount of self-doubt is a good tool for correcting, understanding, listening, and progressing—though too much is paralyzing and total self-confidence produces arrogant idiots. There’s a happy medium between these poles to which the genders have been pushed, a warm equatorial belt of give and take where we should all meet.

More extreme versions of our situation exist in, for example, those Middle Eastern countries where women’s testimony has no legal standing: so that a woman can’t testify that she was raped without a male witness to counter the male rapist. Which there rarely is.

Credibility is a basic survival tool. When I was very young and just beginning to get what feminism was about and why it was necessary, I had a boyfriend whose uncle was a nuclear physicist. One Christmas, he was telling—as though it were a light and amusing subject—how a neighbor’s wife in his suburban bomb-making community had come running out of her house naked in the middle of the night screaming that her husband was trying to kill her. How, I asked, did you know that he wasn’t trying to kill her? He explained, patiently, that they were respectable middle-class people. Therefore, her-husband-trying-to-kill-her was simply not a credible explanation for her fleeing the house yelling that her husband was trying to kill her. That she was crazy, on the other hand....

Even getting a restraining order—a fairly new legal tool—requires acquiring the credibility to convince the courts that some guy is a menace and then getting the cops to enforce it. Restraining orders often don’t work anyway. Violence is one way to silence people, to deny their voice and their credibility, to assert your right to control over their right to exist. About three women a day are murdered by spouses or ex-spouses in this country. It’s one of the main causes of death for pregnant women in the United States. At the heart of the struggle of feminism to give rape, date rape, marital rape, domestic violence, and workplace sexual harassment legal standing as crimes has been the necessity of making women credible and audible.

I tend to believe that women acquired the status of human beings when these kinds of acts started to be taken seriously, when the big things that stop us and kill us were addressed legally from the mid-1970s on; well after, that is, my birth. And for anyone about to argue that workplace sexual intimidation isn’t a life-or-death issue, remember that Marine Lance

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