®
SUBUDVOICE
Oxiana Will Drill
Oxiana, the Australian company
which is Kalimantan Gold’s partner in
Kalimantan, is preparing to drill KGC’s
porphyry copper gold targets. KGC
CEO Rahman Connelly says ‘poten-
tially, this is the most significant devel-
opment in the project's 26 year histo-
ry’...
Kalimantan Gold Corporation Limited
is pleased that Oxiana Limited, an
Australian mining company, has con-
firmed the potential for discovering
significant new copper gold deposits
in Indonesia as part of its recently
signed option deed with Kalimantan
Gold Corporation Limited.
In setting out its first work programme
under the agreement Oxiana reports
that the Kalimantan Gold copper
gold project in Central Kalimantan
showed ‘significant scale and intensi- Right, Mansur Geiger (Exploration Manager,
ty of mineralisation’ and that the work Kalimantan Gold) and left, Andrew Stewart
programme was now set up to test a (Senior Geologist, Oxiana) examine
number of targets in the most efficient drill-cores at the Beruang prospect in
and timely manner. preparation for drilling
‘We are very pleased indeed to get
this early report from Oxiana who now
Potentially, this is the
have a full-time presence on the
ground and are setting themselves up
most significant
for an intensive period of research
and drill testing on the project,’ com-
development in the
mented Kalimantan Gold CEO project's 26 year
Rahman Connelly. ‘During the year
they will be focusing on our three pri- history.
mary prospects, Beruang, Mansur
and Baroi and initial results from the review programme
already look extremely encouraging.’
The agreement covers Kalimantan Gold’s 941 kmÇ
Contract of Work (‘KSK CoW’) in Central Kalimantan and
initially commits Oxiana to spending US$2.5 million on
data compilation and drilling 12 deep holes over a peri-
od of 12-18 months. Oxiana will then have the option of
earning a 40% stake by the completion of a pre-feasibili-
ty study and 66.67% stake by the completion of a bank-
able feasibility study. By this time it will have spent an esti-
mated US$37.5 million.
The work programme involves taking each prospect in
turn – initially Beruang, followed by Mansur and then Baroi
– and carrying out a thorough review and reinterpretation
of data in a full 3-D environment. The work will include
extensive re-logging, re-mapping and re-processing of
geophysical data in order to better define new drill targets.
SUBUDVOICE
APRIL 2007
Oxiana has advised that programme
planning for Beruang will be complet-
ed by mid March with drill rig mobilisa-
tion to follow shortly after. In addition to
working on the three immediate tar-
get prospects, Oxiana will also review
all the other significant prospects and
anomalies identified on the KSK CoW,
with drilling to follow if appropriate.
Preliminary results of review work
Oxiana review work to date has
focused on Beruang with the empha-
sis on defining alteration zoning in
areas of planned drilling and assess-
ing potential in other areas.
Initial results indicate the presence of
porphyry-style stockwork veining at
the surface and in a number of areas
not previously drilled by Kalimantan
Gold. If further work confirms the
potential, these represent targets for
relatively near surface porphyry-style
mineralisation.
There has also been recognition of
porphyry-style veining and late-stage
magmatic-volatile features in the
north of the Beruang prospect area.
This enhances the area’s porphyry
potential.
About Kalimantan Gold
Kalimantan Gold Corporation
Limited is a junior exploration com-
pany listed on both the TSX Venture
Exchange in Canada and on AIM.
The company is focused on copper and gold in
Indonesia and has exploration rights
cont on p 2>
KGC STOP PRESS
The influential Singapore newspaper The Strait’s Times
carried a substantial article about Kalimantan Gold in
the issue of March 8 2007. The long article tells the
whole history of the project including its Subud
connection and its present optimistic prospects. The
article also emphasises the outstanding community
relations approach of the project. Mansur Geiger is
quoted as saying of the communities connected to
our mining concessions, ‘The secret is to treat them as
equals’.
•
PAGE 1
OXIANA WILL DRILL (continued from page 1)
in two areas: the Jelai-Mewet epithermal gold prospects
in East Kalimantan and the copper-gold porphyry
prospects in Central Kalimantan.
About Oxiana
Oxiana Limited is an international mining and exploration
company listed on the Australian Stock Exchange. With a
market capitalisation of around A$4 billion, Oxiana owns
and operates the Sepon gold and copper mines in Laos,
the Golden Grove base and precious metals operation in
Western Australia and is developing the Prominent Hill
copper-gold mine in South Australia. The company is also
exploring in Australia, Asia and the Pacific.
For further information please visit www.kalimantan.com
or contact: Rahman Connelly Deputy Chairman and
CEO, Kalimantan Gold
Telephone: +61 7 552 32298 or +61 418 116 955
Email: rconnelly@ozemail.com.au
• https://secure1.uniserve.com/wd-susiladharma/giving_yum.html
news in brief
THANKYOU 2007
ThankYou 2007 is an international gathering, celebrating 50
years of Subud in the West. It will take place in Ascot, UK, ,
between August 21st and August 30th 2007.
Further details about this event, including contacts, accom-
modation, directions and booking information, can be found
on the official ThankYou 2007 website: http://thankyou2007.com
MSF SEEKS TRUSTEES
The Muhammad Subuh Foundation and World Subud
Association are requesting nominations for two (2) places on
the MSF Board of Trustees. Candidates will be selected from
the consideration of CVs by the WSA directors and MSF
trustees and through testing by the International Helpers. This
will take place in August at the World Subud Council meet-
ing in Ascot, England. Candidates do not have to be present.
Nominations can be made by National Committees, WSC
members and MSF trustees. The new trustees are appointed
by the directors of the WSA.
Please send nominations accompanied with CV to:
Garrett at ISC@subud.org and Rohana Mitchell
rmitch@iprimus.com.au
JAKARTA FLOOD VICTIMS
From SD Indonesia…
Flooding in Jakarta for the past few days which is estimated
affected 60–70% of its area has paralysed Jakarta’s every-
day activities. Even though the flooding has receded in some
areas, heavy rain is still predicted to cause floods again.
More than 1/3 million of people have fled their houses,
spreading into several shelters all over the city when the
worst flood in years attacked Jakarta. All kinds of diseases
have started to hit the victims, flu, coughing, fever, diar-
rhoea, dysentery and leptospirosis. Some people died from
drowning, or were electrified, and lots of areas are without
electricity, clean water. Some transportation vehicles are
not operating and some roads have been closed. SD
Indonesia already set up a team, coordinated by Ridwan
Umar, together with youth team to identify Subud mem-
bers who are affected by the floods.
PAGE 2
We all can help! We are asking all of you to help minimise the
victims’ misfortune. Your contribution will mean a lot to them.
There are two main fundraising drives – one from Susila
Dharma Indonesia and one from YUM.
You can donate through your SD national organisation, SDIA
via the website by credit card or directly by wire transfer to
SD Indonesia or YUM. When you make a donation to an SD
organisation, please indicate which activity you want your
donation to go to.
Contributions can be transferred to the account of:
Yayasan Susila Dharma Indonesia
Bank: BCA Fatmawati, AC No. 0713003741
Switch Code: CENAIDJA Note: Jakarta Flood
To donate to SD Indonesia by credit card via the SDIA web-
site go to: https://secure1.uniserve.com/wd-
susiladharma/giving_now.html
To donate to YUM by credit card via the SDIA website go to:
SUBUD INDONESIA 60TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION
Excerpt from a report by Ami (Nurjatmi)…
On Thursday night was the ‘opening ceremony’ at the World
Trade Centre (WTC). Ibu Rahayu attended the ceremony,
including delegates from local government. It’s been an
honour for us, because Frederic Richard & Osanna Vaughn
visited our Congress, also International Helpers from Zone 1,
Zone 2 and Zone Rep 5&6.
The ceremony closed with a performance of ‘Dewa Ruci.’
This wayang dance-drama depicts the life of Bapak
Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo.
On the last day of the Congress was a plenary session: Ibu
Rahayu was present and witnessed testing for Chairman of
Subud Indonesia. Iwan Samsudin (Jakarta) was selected as
new chairman, Subud Indonesia. And the congress closed
with Ibu Rahayu striking the ‘Gong.’
SUSILA DHARMA AT PELHAM HOUSE
Pelham House is an historic building in Lewes in the UK which
has been purchased by some members and turned into a
function and conference centre.
Although it is basically a commercial enterprise, it has been
able to host some Subud meetings, most recently Susila
Dharma. SDI Chair, Sharifin Gardiner, writes…
‘We held board meetings and a conference for Susila
Dharma International members.There were nearly 40 people
with delegations from Norway, Germany, France, Britain and
the Netherlands, plus the chairs of SD Canada and SD USA
and representatives of the fledgling SD Serbia. We covered a
huge and practical agenda by spending some of the time in
small discussion groups who reported back to the plena-
ry…We seemed to develop an openness and frankness of
discussion in an atmosphere of trust, which bodes well for the
future.’
VOLUNTEER TEACHERS FOR KALIMANTAN
The BCU team writes….
Teachers and Volunteers are needed at Sekolah Bina
Cita Utama, our school in Kalimantan!! There will be a
variety of posts that we are looking to fill, for volunteers
and possibly also paid positions. Experience of teach-
ing is desirable, but, especially in the case of volunteer-
ing, not essential. We are looking for native or fluent
speakers of English, who enjoy working cont on p 3>
SUBUDVOICE
 End of an Era
with children (obviously!) and feel inspired to
live in this community and contribute to the development and
learning of our students.
Osanna Vaughn, World Subud Association chairlady,
For further information about our school and the teaching reflects on the S Widjojo AGM...
posts that will be open, please feel free to contact us. On February 10th, 2007,
Utami Geiger (School board): the PT S Widjojo AGM
<utamigeiger@gmail.com> or <utami@cbn.net.id> took place at the S
Widjojo Centre in
EARTH SPIRIT Hermione Elliott writes… Jakarta. Much debated
Earth Spirit Centre near Glastonbury, Somerset UK and discussed before-
Why not join us for the Open Circle Retreat 2007 – your hand, the main decision
chance to create a long Subud weekend that’s memorable, to be made at the meet-
inspiring, fulfilling, spiritually regenerative, fun, entertaining, ing was whether or not to
nurturing, creative, sociable and harmonious – the aim being sell the building.
the feeling of well-being for everyone.
It was a historic moment,
I hope this might whet your appetite to come to the Earth as the S Widjojo Centre
Spirit Centre (<www.earthspirit-centre.co.uk>) from Thursday has come to symbolise
10th May at 5.00pm to teatime on Sunday 13 May. Give your- Bapak's encouragement
self a treat – and us too. We look forward to seeing you there. to us to start large enter-
prises; endeavours in WSA chairlady, Osanna Vaughn, reflects
If you’d like more information, or to talk to someone who was which we could learn to on the historic S Widjojo AGM at which
there, contact Osanna (Jones) Whitehouse osanna21@btcon- work together in a new it was decided to sell the building.
(Photo: Viktor Boehm)
nect.com Lewis Roberts valero@globalnet.co.uk Hermione. way and aim to support
Hermione.elliott@burnoutsolutions.com not only the World Subud Association, but also our efforts
towards making the world a better place.
THE INTERNATIONAL YOUTH TRAVEL FUND
We are happy to announce the official creation of the The exchanges preceding the meeting ranged from simply
International Youth Travel Fund (IYTF) within the Muhammad inquisitive to gloomily prophetic and at times bitter and
Subuh Foundation. This fund, set up jointly by MSF and WSA, accusatory; yet a large number of members, starting from
will be coordinated by the International Youth Coordinators, the World Council all the way to individuals on every conti-
Rhyana Blakeley and Hamilton Manley and supported by nent, sought to find a balanced quiet way to support the
ISC, International Helpers and of course MSF. process, with a prayer that the best possible outcome might
be the result.
The purpose of the fund is to help young Subud members to
become familiar with and involved in Subud events and Clear Majority
activities, thus it will serve mainly to help them attend meet- Now we know that a clear majority of shareholders voted
ings or to do volunteer work for Susila Dharma. Three young for the sale of the building. The AGM – at which I and the
people have already benefited from grants from the fund. deputy chairman, Frederic Richard, were present, as well
as WSC member and Zone 5&6 Rep, Lateef Dada-Bashua
An application form is available in five languages and it – unfolded in a businesslike and respectful, if at times
includes the application procedure. The application form is somewhat precipitous, manner. Attendees were able to
on-line under ‘SYA’ on the ISC/WSA page of <www.subud- ask more detailed questions and express concerns, which
worldnews.com> were answered with clarity. In just around 3 hours the
board of directors' proposal to sell had been accepted.
FINDING THE LIGHT A personal account of discovering the
meaning of life by Siti Muti'ah Lestiono... I was relieved and happy that this process had gone
I have written this book as a testament and a chronicle of the smoothly, while fully involving any who wanted to partici-
miracle of Subud. I don't expect anyone to believe or disbe- pate; and I thank all those who lent it their inner support
lieve it, because I have told it like it was and is. There are some and prayers. I do believe this makes a difference, as it
who might say I exaggerated or read things into incidents can also make a difference in the times ahead.
that were not really there. Maybe I did, but that's the way I
saw things at the time. The closing of In retrospective, however, I and
Frederic realised that a certain
Subud is a phenomenon for today, yet it's as old as this earth. one exciting, element had been missing.
Perhaps it came into this world at this time because man has While Diana Wild-Smith was
deviated from the original intention of being here. People hopeful, given a chance to read a perti-
need desperately to see with their own eyes and understand nent extract from a talk of
with their own feelings that God is always there, directing and tumultuous, Bapak's, and Daniel Cheifetz
guiding us. All we need to do is tune in. This is my story. Take challenging, spoke eloquently about the
from it what you will. road ahead and the hope that
heartbreaking Bapak's vision for enterprise
Siti Muti'ah Lestiono resident of Wisma Subud has made her might be carried forward, we
book, Finding the Light available on Undiscovered Worlds era, and the did not, all together as Subud
Press, where it can be read online (along with the wonderful members present at this occa-
l writings of other Subud members), or purchased in print beginning of a sion, really acknowledge just

•
form www.undiscoveredworldspress.com/index.html
http://amazon.com
new one what a significant
cont on p4>
SUBUDVOICE PAGE 3
moment it was: the closing of one exciting, hopeful,
tumultuous, challenging and, at times, heartbreaking era,
but also the beginning of a new one.
We have learnt so much over the past thirty to forty years
– through trial and error, through success and failure, and,
I believe, we have reached a new maturity.
It was a pity that we did not take the time at the end of
the meeting to reflect on all this – where we have been
and where we are going –, to celebrate a historic
moment and to thank Almighty God that, in spite of our
shortcomings, we are still being blessed with the amazing
gift of the latihan and the guidance that we may choose
to follow. I invite you to all do so now.
What Next?
Now, assuming the sale of the building proceeds accord-
ing to plan, the question is: what next?
I returned home the following day after six weeks of trav-
el. Among all the post waiting for me was a copy of
Volume 15 of Bapak's talks. I opened it randomly and
found a passage where Bapak talks about perseverance.
He encouraged us to always continue making efforts,
learning from the past, without abandoning a good idea,
but trying out new approaches with new insight, as often
as necessary till we succeed.
S Widjojo Enterprises, established by the PT S Widjojo
board to carry the vision forward, hopes to become one
vehicle through which we may continue to work togeth-
er on supporting the development of Subud enterprises;
other proposals or formats may arise from other quarters.
Whatever form the future takes, I hope that we will perse-
vere with the idea of enterprise – from individual endeav-
ours to large-scale projects involving many.
It is here that we can really know how far we have come
in our development, because it is here that we are tested
and can recognise the outer expression of our inner real-
ity. Bapak always spoke about latihan and enterprise –
side by side. The latihan touches our inner, cleansing,
repairing and transforming; through our enterprises and
endeavours we are able to express all this in the outer
world.
Of course, it takes courage – we all know that; it takes a
leap of faith to step beyond our own, individual clever-
ness, and to create a space within our practical work,
where we can be guided by something beyond our own
expectations, convictions and personal self-interest.
I am confident that, if we persevere, our efforts will bear
the fruits that we all hope for.
Molino Benizalte
• our vision.
Sebastian Blakely is an English Subud member who has
carried out a number of projects where he has bought
derelict buildings in Europe and then renovated them.
His latest project is Molino Benizalte in Spain which he is
carrying out with his partner Pamela Lassalle. Sebastian
and Pamela bought the mill nearly two years ago and
since that time have struggled to find the finance to com-
plete the renovation works.
The building is a 17th C. olive mill set in the foothills of the
PAGE 4
beautiful Sierra Nevada mountains, a few minutes walk from
the cluster of Subud members’ houses and the town of Orgiva.
It is a large building on three floors, which when renovated
will total nearly 1000sq mts of space, comprising meeting and
performance rooms, kitchen, café, and bedroom accom-
modation. There is also a very beautiful walled garden.
The works so far have been carried out to a very high stan-
dard and it is clear to see what great potential the building
has as a venue both for Subud and the community.
However, the project has been beset by difficulties as
Sebastian explains below and in September last year a
Spirit of Enterprise meeting was held at the Alpujarra
group in Orgiva in support of the project.
Testing showed that the project has great significance for
the International Subud Association and for the local com-
munity. It is this aspect of the project that is really vital, the
Molino having the potential to be a window on Subud.
It was felt that the project now needed the support of a
team, and four Subud members were tested in to have a
role on this team, as well as Sebastian and Pamela and a
non Subud member, Jayne Morley, who has considerable
experience in managing commercially successful cultural
venues.
However, as Sebastian explains, he no longer feels this is the right
way forward. Read on to see Sebastian’s current thoughts…
At last I feel like writing something about life and projects.
My partner, our children and myself live in Orgiva,
Andalusia Espana. We have been here two years and we
are working, living the Molino Benizalte project.
From a certain point of view this project is an ‘accident of
Faith’. I say this because Pamela and I had harboured,
nurtured and cultivated within our beings a vision of a
place - a place of humanity, human interaction, a place
to demonstrate the positive side of human creativity and
imagination.
I had managed to completely
and utterly convince myself, one
I look for a
hundred percent and more, that
we had enough money to realise
solution
this place. Over a period of nearly
eighteen months I had achieved
that will
total conviction that the sale of vibrate in
our property in Devon would
release the funds to carry forward recognition
A phone call and the sudden realisation of how I had
duped myself was a really big shock.
What now?
The ‘what now!’ took at least 24 hours to even grasp. Here
we were in Spain with a magnificent ruin, some very sup-
portive friends and family, a great vision but not a penny.
That was all approximately two years ago. We’d
purchased the Molino, borrowed money against
the sale of Dunmore House in England and relo-
cated to Spain. It has really been a process of try-
ing to put the pieces back together cont on p5>
SUBUDVOICE
 again ever since that 24 hours
two years ago.
God knows how we have sur-
vived, and God I’m sure, knows
what is in store for us. We have
talked, negotiated, worked,
talked, negotiated and worked
for two years. The Molino very
slowly transforms from a ruin into
something that illuminates and
attracts.
I lie awake at night, I do my lati-
han, and I converse with God. I
The 17th-century building really try and perceive what it is
being renovated that we should do? When I’m
working, bricks and mortar on the
Molino, I feel close to God. It would feel unnatural for me to
block the spontaneous ‘Allah u Akbar’ that wells out of my
mouth. I feel at one with the universe and I know, deeply
what to do.
I look for a solution of possible ways forward. I look for a
solution that will vibrate in recognition. I feel hard, tough,
unbending, and resolute that I will recognise the most
‘intelligent’ solution, the ‘right’ solution.
The Potential of the Project
I guess the testing at the Spirit of Enterprise meeting in
September 2006 at Orgiva allowed me some respite in my
personal predicaments. The ‘potential’ of the project was
felt by all. There is a very strong vibration with this project
and there is an undeniable illumination also.
The Spirit of Enterprise meeting apart from establishing a
collective recognition of the ‘project’s potential’ also,
through testing, put together an ‘emergency team’ of
local Subud members to try and sort out the present situ-
ation and establish a way forward.
However, as time has gone on, I have become increasing-
ly convinced that this is not the solution. I have a gut feel-
ing that if we attempt to categorise this project as a Subud
Enterprise, with the induction of management through
testing, this project will fail. This feeling is so strong it causes
me anguish. I see and feel people around me who are
offended by my apparent dismissal of their wish to help, of their
‘received’ and perceived involvement in the project.
It is an incredibly exhausting place to be in. We need
more team members and we need money. The overrid-
ing push from the Spirit of Enterprise meeting and from the
resulting ‘Subud’ team has been in the direction of
shared ownership/equal status management team.
Sadly I am convinced this has doom written all over it.
So without offence to anyone, without any need to point
fingers or blame anyone, all I can say is that I have a
vision. Pamela, my partner, can see and feel this vision.
Jayne Morley (who is not wealthy and is not doing the lati-
han) has been working closely with us now for six months
and she can see and feel this vision. We have a fantastic
property and we have a fantastic project.
We also have a lot of people who have helped financial-
ly. We have a lot of people who support the project and
bolster our morale, thank you all profoundly.
SUBUDVOICE
What could happen?
So where are we? What’s happening and what could
happen?
We have Jayne Morley, Pamela Lassalle, and myself
Sebastian Blakely. We have Molino Benizalte, a beautiful
17th Century building, constructed of roman brick with
lime, mortar and stone paneling, a Mediterranean style
tiled roof, walled garden, and amazing views. We have
a huge amount of restoration to do.
We have a business plan, dance, theatre, photography,
film, music workshops, spiritual seminars, concerts, mini
festivals, cinema, art exhibitions, religious ceremonies,
and straightforward tourism.
We have a lot of borrowing presently negotiated on the
short term. We have a clear vision, energy, motivation,
and conviction.
Molino Benizalte, the 17th-century building in Orgiva, Spain
We are currently doing funding applications, grant appli-
cations, a small amount of site work, two concerts, and
three weddings.
This place is needed here. Public interest and atten-
dance, plus local market research, very clearly demon-
strate a need. Internationally, the place is special
enough to attract guests and professionals. The building
offers great potential for growth of its facilities.
Orgiva is a rapidly changing and evolving environment
with a large percentage of the population acutely
attuned to the progressive social and spiritual needs of
western society with its associated environment-friendly
and sustainable consciousness.
A collective Subud investment could own part of the
building, or the building and project could easily include
a serious financial partner.
As a team we feel close to a solution. Fundamentally, we feel
that all we are missing is that serious, active like-minded busi-
ness partner or a straight forward investor, be they another
family, couple or single person, but with at least 300,000? to
invest. Then and only then do we have a clear road.
May I take this opportunity to sincerely thank all of you
who have helped so far with this project
For more information, contact Sebastian Blakeley or
Pamela Lassalle 0034 958 784 479
mobile 00 34 639 77 00 29
benizalte05@gonuts4free.com
PAGE 5
•
 In truth this is a personal matter, but although it is a person-
Ibu Rahayu al matter, it is a common problem. By common problem I
mean that this state is now thought to be normal. But
according to the story, or so it is told, there was a prophet

Talk called Adam. God created Adam, a man. And in order

to bring children into this world, God created Eve. So,
God created Adam and Eve.

But as humankind progressed in the world, due to con-

What Next? flicting ideas, there were times when parents wanted a
male child – this was greatly desired in the past – they did

and Other Questions not want a girl.

As a result, when a girl was born, the parents dressed it like

Ibu Rahayu’s Questions and Answers with Members
Tokyo, Japan 14 August, 2006 RECORDING 06 TYO 2
Final Translation by Raymond Lee
Copyright © by the World Subud Association. All rights reserved.
Before we start, I need to say that I do not know what you
are going to ask, but I hope your questions will not be
about marital problems and the like, but they will be
about our spiritual path.
And apart from that, if I cannot answer a question, I ask
for your forgiveness. I am not a dictionary. If I were a dic-
tionary all the answers would be in here. [Ibu indicates her
forehead] But they are not, I am completely blank.
Please start. One by one. Well? Are there no questions?
[Ibu laughs] Now the tables are turned – I am not exam-
ining you, you are examining me. [laughter]
Question: Is it ok to ask something private, which is personal?
Ibu: Not if it is personal, not in front of many people. If it is
about the latihan, OK. If it is a personal problem that con-
cerns the latihan, that is also OK.
a boy, but in fact it was a girl. So that girl was turned into
an imitation man – an imitation born of the parents’
desire. Not an imitation caused by some other cause, but
formed by the human mind. In consequence, when the
child grew up it would behave like a man. But it was born
a woman. Well, that is one of the causes. Another is the
people the child mixes with, and so on.
In fact, the latihan will lead one to discover one’s true
individuality. That is why Bapak encouraged men to
behave like men – to dress like a man and speak like a
man. Do not imitate a woman, because doing so can
cause someone’s nature to change.
As it turned out this has caused many problems which are
not God's fault, but humankind’s fault.
In one of Bapak’s talks, Bapak said that if you enjoy doing
something and you give it more importance than any-
thing else, it will become part of your character; it will
change your character. You may start out just pretending,
but that behaviour becomes part of your character.
Once it is part of your character, it is very hard to change.
It is one with you.

Q: His question is where is the best place for him to
receive well or best? Which part of his body can receive
best?
Ibu: He should feel that for himself. I cannot feel it. I can-
not go in there. He can test that for himself.
Q: I feel it vaguely, but I am not convinced.
Ibu: He must have faith in himself. When we test we must
have faith and ask God to show us. If he cannot feel it for
himself, he has to get help from God. God
will show him. We cannot say whether the
mouth can receive best, or whether the
feet can receive best, at times other parts
will receive better.
On Sexuality
Q: I would like to ask you a question. I am
not sure whether my question is appropri-
ate or not, but what I would like to ask is
about sexuality nowadays, in this modern
age, the boundary is becoming less and
less clear. Can Ibu make some comment
on what it means to be a woman and
what it means to be a man?
Ibu: Well, whether the times are modern or
old, the problem is the same.
If you ask who is at fault? We do not know. We leave that
to God, because only God knows everything. This is one of
the secrets of life, because it is not only that person’s char-
acter that changes, but their feelings and physical body
change too – the physical body of the person concerned.
As such, we cannot blame anyone. Well, of course, a mis-
take was made, but as for whose fault that is, we leave
that to God. That is why the latihan is an opportunity for
you to uncover – to uncover and find your true individual-
ity. God willing, provided you have a firm intention to find
it, God will show you how.
If you enjoy What is the next step?
doing something Q: Subud has been spreading in the world
for fifty years and many things have hap-
pened, to this day. Though the growth of
and you give it Subud differs in each country, what stage
does Ibu see that Subud as a whole is in
more importance today? What is needed for us to go to the
next step? And also about Subud Japan.
than anything
Ibu: Given the state of the world now, not
else, it will only is Subud 50 years old, but this world is
now old too. In consequence, there are
become part of many catastrophes which are beyond the
capacity of humankind to control. Some
your character. events are caused by humankind's mis-
takes, but others are brought cont on p7>

PAGE 6 SUBUDVOICE
about by the power of Almighty God.
In the face of these events, people have begun to realise
that humankind is powerless in comparison to the power
of God, or what God can do if God wants to.
In consequence, these days, individuals and even reli-
gions are asking who really rules this world or this universe.
Perhaps, in the past, each religion thought that it was the
true one, that it was the religion that God most favoured
and so on.
But as human understanding has grown, many people
have questions in their hearts. In answer, there is a kind of
banner for them now – by banner, I mean Subud – which
is what everyone is looking for, but they do not know
where or how to find it. I say they are looking for it,
because they cannot see what Subud is, because Subud
is inside each Subud member. People will only be able to
understand what Subud is when you can truly behave like
Subud people.
As an example, when we pray – I am not trying to extol
Subud – but when you pray, when you pray sincerely,
your prayer will have already reached God. But for peo-
ple not in Subud, who are not Subud members, perhaps
their prayers do not reach God.
You should feel proud about this. But feeling proud does
not mean that you can become arrogant. You might get
arrogant and think, ‘Oh, Subud is God’s religion!’ It is not.
So, even religions know, or ought to know, about the
power of God that is All Powerful. Therefore it is not a reli-
gion’s Prophet or Messenger who is great, it is not Bapak
who is great. God is great. But people think that the per-
son who was the Messenger was great, was always right.
No! They were just Messengers from God.
So in this situation, what can Subud do? All we can do is
pray, pray to God. Other people will not realise what we
do. Only God and you know.
If you ask, ‘But, what else can we do?’ we can only pray.
Should we help by going to fight, for instance, or should
we back a particular religion to strengthen it? No! We
pray to God to ask God to intervene and bring about a
resolution. That is the only way. We do not need Subud
soldiers. We do not need Subud preachers.
On this subject, when questions like this come up, the
international helpers should answer them, so that Subud
members will know how to face the commotion in the
world. In truth, religion is not at fault. However, religion is
not pure anymore. It is no longer a pure wor-
ship and surrendering to Almighty God.
Religion has become mixed up in politics –
It is very hard
human politics. Politics is a product of the
mind. And, of course, the human mind only to recognise
pursues its own self-interest.
A question like this cannot be answered in your own
one or two words. It turns into a talk.
I just explained what Subud people need to faults and
do, and that also applies to Subud members in
Japan. There is nothing different, there is noth-
ing special that Subud Indonesia should do, or mistakes
SUBUDVOICE
Subud Japan should do. This is general advice. As I just said,
we surrender to God. We diligently prepare ourselves by cre-
ating a clean place within us, a place where we are surren-
dered, where we have faith in God. We need to clean our
being [Ibu indicates herself] and prepare it so that whatev-
er we request, God will hear it, God will feel it.
What you ask for is up to you. You can pray for Japan to
be protected by God, to be kept safe, or something like
that. Or you can pray for the salvation of humankind, for
all human beings that have been created by God, for
everyone to get God's grace and protection. We leave
everything to God. What we pray for is up to us.
But please understand that if you make a request that
many other people pray for too, which is motivated by a
feeling of community and acceptance and is without self-
interest, God willing, God will grant it.
How can progress be seen?
Q: Some of us are wondering in what way the progress
within can be seen as a result of our doing latihan. In the
talk Ibu gave us last night Ibu mentioned that the result of
our latihan is that we will be able to be aware of our true
state or true identity. We shall be pleased if Ibu will give us
further explanation about it.
Ibu: Obviously, it is not possible for me to show each of
you your individual state. As I said earlier, Subud cannot
be seen, but it can be felt. The one who can feel it is the
person who has that feeling. Look at your own experi-
ence in life, feel for yourself, ‘Is my life,’ say, ‘better now
than it was before?’ You can all test that yourself. Even if
your testing is still unreliable, it does not matter; it just
means there are still faults in you. So, do not just look at
what is good about you. An example of what is good
could be, ‘I do latihan every day and I never miss a lati-
han.’ And yet at the same time you ask, ‘But why can't I
receive, why is my latihan just the same?’
The problem is you do not look at the bad things about
you. You overlook your bad points, you forget about your
faults, because it is very hard to recognise your own faults
and mistakes. ‘If I can’t feel the latihan yet,’ for example,
‘what is it that am I doing wrong?’ You have to look at your faults.
There are all kinds of faults, not just stealing, for example.
If you dislike someone, that is a mistake. If you lie to some-
one, that is a mistake. So there are very many kinds of mis-
takes, but you are not aware of them, and you make
allowances for your own mistakes.
In this regard, as I said earlier, if you want to know how
far you have got, by testing with you, you can feel for
yourself whether you can receive what I ask
when I test with you. If you can, it shows
there is a connection between the power of
God and the power that is working inside
you. It does not mean that I do something
to you. I am just a channel. If I had to test
each of you individually, I would not have
the strength. I am only one person; some-
times there are hundreds of you. It would be
impossible for me to do this myself.
God and Buddhism
Q Many ordinary Japanese still follow our tra-
ditional Buddhist customs and have no clear
cont on p 8 >
PAGE 7
image of the one God Almighty. There exists some difficulty
of explaining about Subud to those people. Could Ibu
give us some advice?
Ibu: Well, this is also about seeking the truth. I mean that,
naturally, I am not in a position to comment, because I do
not know about Buddhism. I am not a Buddhist. I speak as
a Subud member who was granted a witnessing. I do not
claim that what I witnessed is true or not, but what I expe-
rienced did not come about by my will, or anybody else’s
will. It was the will of the One who created me.
It is clear to me that I exist because God created me.
God is the highest power that existed before anything
else existed and will exist after everything else has gone.
There is nothing higher than God.
In answer to this question, when it comes to Buddhism, I
do not want to comment on something that I do not
understand, on a subject where I have no experience.
But if you are a Buddhist, you should find out for yourself
by following this Subud path which God has given to you,
where you can experience this for yourself. Because
everything is within you, all human knowledge is inside
you. I believe that above everything there is only God.
If you want to witness this, if you want to know – that is if
you dare – you can test where Buddha is and where the
power of God is. Then, of course, there is something
above Buddha. There is only one God. There is not a God
that looks like this and another God that looks like that.
There is not a God that looks Javanese and a God that
looks Japanese. There is one God and God has no form.
If you ask, ‘Where is God?’ God envelops everything. If
you test, ‘Where is God?’ you disappear. This vanishes.
[Ibu indicates her self].
This is also something for you to explore or find out for your-
self, even if you are a Buddhist. I cannot know, for exam-
ple if, as a Buddhist, when you do latihan you feel it or not.
Ibu (to Sharif]: Tell them about Scherto’s experience. She
could not acknowledge God existed, because in China
they are not taught about God. But when she was
opened, [the helper said], ‘In that case, just have faith in
the highest power in religion. In whatever you believe.’
Then she started to move, and she is still doing latihan.
Sharif: Ibu asked me to tell the story of Scherto Ruoshi,
who is a friend of ours and a Subud sister, who was
opened in England, but she was born in China in
Manchuria and grew up in Beijing. So, when she came
before her opening...maybe Tuti should tell the story
because she was there.
Tuti: She did not believe in God, so when we opened her
I had to replace the word God with the Great Life Force.
And then after I said the opening words, she could
receive. In fact, after she finished the latihan she had to
wait in the room, while we did a cleansing latihan. Ibu
Rahayu came and Ibu Rahayu saw that she was still shak-
ing. And now she really believes in God. In fact, all her stu-
dents asked her, ‘Oh, please pray to your God that I will
get a visa to go to England.’ Then they got it.
Ibu: That is all..
PAGE 8
I N N E R
V O I C E
Edited by Ilaina Lennard
Inner Voice welcomes new stories and letters
NOTE: Ilaina’s new e-mail: Ilaine.l@ntlworld.com
The Story of Subud Voice
‘Sometimes our Subud experiences don’t seem very spiri-
tual – they aren’t about visions, inner voices or even
memorable latihans, they just feel quite normal. I think
that’s because they’re ‘the latihan of life’.. At least that’s
how it seemed to be for me, when I beganSubud Voice.’
– Ilaine Lennard
‘Begin’
In 1961, during the first months after I was opened, every
time I went to latihan and stood barefoot with the others
in that darkened room, waiting for a helper to say ‘begin’
I wondered what on earth I was doing there. I felt no spe-
cial bond with the other members - but it wasn't long
before this changed.
Without knowing how it happened, I just began to have
a sense of family towards any other Subud member.
These truly were my brothers and sisters it seemed. What's
more, before I was opened I had felt quite wary of peo-
ple who were black or coloured.
But now, mysteriously, I had lost any feeling of antipathy
towards them. Nor was I any longer aware of other barri-
ers; class was no barrier, age was no barrier, skin colour
was no barrier. Not any more. I felt close to everyone.
It happened so naturally that I didn't think much about it,
but now I realise that even then, so long ago, something
in me had already taken a very significant step – I had
been given that 'universal' feeling which many years later
was to inspire me to startSubud Voice.
Bapak spoke a lot about the importance of being at home
within our own natures, and I think that when I started using
my talents, as I did when I began my first enterprise, and
later when I beganSubud Voice, I came nearer to the real-
ity of his words. For example there were these extracts from
a talk he gave in Cilandak on February 16th 1980:
‘There is one thing only that is required of us, which is to
be at home within our own natures… if you can do this, if
you can really always be within
There is one yourself, within your own nature,
you will be able to know the
thing only that answer to whatever question is pre-
sented to you. Because if you are
is required of at home Almighty God is able to
us, which is to guide you, is able to help you with
whatever you are facing at that
be at home moment...
within our ‘That is the test of whether you
own natures have done the latihan or not,
because the meaning cont on p 9>
SUBUDVOICE
of the latihan kejiwaan is the practice of God’s Will for mailing cost would have been prohibitive. Also material just
you in your everyday life – it is a putting into practice didn’t come in sufficient quantity in those days.
God’s Will for you in your everyday life. So to check
whether you can do it or not you can simply see how you The fact that there was a considerable time lag before
perform in your everyday life.’ the first issue actually appeared was characteristic of
how things so often are in Subud - there is difficulty getting
Isolation in Northern Ireland started. This was something I already knew would hap-
Not long after my husband Lawrence and I were opened, pen, as I had become aware of it in my other Subud under-
he was sent to work in Belfast, and during the next 18 takings. So I simply noted it rather than feeling frustrated.
years there I really did feel very isolated at times. I treas-
ured letters from Subud friends, and some were wonder- Later ISC moved to Australia and my newssheet stopped,
ful at writing to me. When these letters came it was as if because a more sophisticated newspaper was produced there.
my thirsty inner had been given a drink of water.
But at the time, I never would have thought that the little
Of course at the time I had no idea where this feeling – newssheet I was producing in the early 1980’s was really
and it was like a constant homesickness – would eventu- the forerunner of Subud Voice.
ally lead me. It's so important to trust that difficult times
have a purpose for us, because with hindsight I recognise 1987 – Bapak dies
that this time of loneliness was an important experience – There can have been few times in any spiritual or religious
in fact the beginning of what was one day to movement, when an editor has been faced - in Issue
becomeSubud Voice. Number One - with announcing the death of the Founder of
the Movement. But was it really just by chance that the first
I would not otherwise have understood so clearly, what phys- issue ofSubud Voice carried the news of Bapak’s death?
ical isolation can mean to Subud people, and how much
some of them long for that 'drink of water' – that Subud 'con-I had for several months been thinking about how this
tact' with others worldwide, at least once a next little newsletter might be done, but of
month. If you can be course without realising what the content of its
within your first issue was going to be.
When later our family returned to England, we
decided to live near where Anugraha was own nature, At that time, I just had a strong wish to draw us
being built. But even before we left Belfast,
people would often ask me, ‘What are you
you will be all together through this publication - it would
be something small, that everyone could
going to do when you get to England, Ilaine?’ able to know afford, but coming regularly each month. I did
not at first envisage it as being international,
And I would answer, ‘I don’t know, but I think
the answer to though it seemed that even in Britain there was
it’s going to be something to do with commu- whatever a real need.
nication.’
question is But now that Bapak had actually died, I felt this
And indeed that was so. As soon as we presented to little vehicle was so inadequate; so little could be
arrived I felt compelled to take a notebook said in it that would in any way do justice to the
everywhere I went, because of wanting to you. event. However, there was nothing to be done
share with those isolated others, what I saw happening about that. I just had to BEGIN, as Bapak might have said.
around me at Anugraha and elsewhere.
During the selamatans at Anugraha that followed
The forerunner Bapak’s death, I felt so much love for my Subud brothers
It was Luqman McKingley who first suggested I do an and sisters. I had such a feeling of wanting to bring this
international newssheet. It turned out to be the forerunner large family together so that they could share the event
ofSubud Voice and I remember making a four-page and their sense of loss and to some extent comfort each
mock-up of how I saw it in style and content. I enjoyed this other.
tremendously. Next, ISC provided a pile of papers as news
material, and I read them through avidly. I felt full of lati- When I had pasted up the first issue (just four pages), I
han vibrations every time I took up those papers. remember how Hartley Ramsay - who so professionally
edited our beautiful glossy SUBUD WORLD, came to see
I had a clear idea of how this newsletter should look – I me. I laid out the new baby on our dining room table, so
saw it as something very light and short and easy to read he could look it over. ‘Oh..!’ said Hartley, in his soft Scottish
and somehow friendly and inviting. I even asked Dirk voice, as I opened the 4 pages, ‘OHHH..!’
Campbell to do the headlines in his own handwriting, and
decided each issue should be a different colour. The font He said this with such gentle respect that I might have
used was to be like that of a typewriter. been showing him the Crown jewels. I can only suppose
that at that moment Hartley was either supremely tactful
This little paper would go out every fortnight if possible, so or that he must have foreseen how much this little baby
that Subud’s news could travel round the world much was going to grow.
faster than hitherto. If this was to happen however, it had
to be short - hardly a newspaper, it was just a newssheet. The first SVs never had more than four pages, though
eventually they had sixteen. I had to type the text on an
I heard later that Luqman was rather disconcerted by what electric typewriter, then cut it out and paste it onto paper
it looked like - maybe he’d pictured something more like a on which I made ruled pencil lines.
real newspaper. But that would have been impossible - no
one would have paid for such a large publication and the I did this with immense care and an equal cont on p 10 >

SUBUDVOICE PAGE 9
lack of professionalism, because in those days I hadn’t very weak, a weak reed, given to doubts and recidivism.
got a computer or Desk Top Publishing. I even took the Not done much for the cause. Yet in my life in Subud God
text downtown to a printer, to get it reduced to the has given me one opportunity after another to do mar-
appropriate size. vellous and exciting things, and being the editor of Subud
Voice is one of the most recent of these. God has given
The titles were done with Letraset, and I could never align me so many graces and blessings and pathways to salva-
the letters straight enough. But I’ll never forget how tion, andSubud Voice is one of them.
strongly the latihan went through me as I worked - and I
felt so happy too, even though at the end of the first three Well, it comes round again, the time of the month when I
months I only had 47 subscriptions! have to start work on Subud Voice. So I gather together all the
stuff I've collected and I sit down in a mad flurry of activity.
Would I ever have believed it?
It is one of those miracles of my Subud life to compare Of course some of the material I receive is beautifully writ-
that early time with 14 years later, when I had to give up ten when it arrives and hardly needs a touch from me.
as SV editor. By then SV had grown to 16 pages, was Some other contributions are more of a struggle. You
going to around 61 countries world-wide, and sometimes often feel within them some grain of truth, some impor-
had a circulation of up to 1300, of which 200 copies were tant thing that needs to be told, and this person should
when possible, produced in Spanish (Laurencio Young not be disadvantaged just because they are not good at
and Paloma de la Vina), French (Salman Anglesio) and writing or English is not their first language.
for a short time even Indonesian, thanks to Gutomo.
So I might struggle at that hours and hours to try and
When it began, I would never have believed that such a make something of it. It can be a very time-consuming
thing could happen. Its original 47 subscriptions grew to job, correcting all the commas and on.
over 1100 subs – though not without a tremendous, time-
consuming and continuous effort on my part. But when I have expended my energy of flurry, I move
into a deeper energy. And it is energy of appreciation. I
Then in 2001 Harris Smart came to my rescue as the new give thanks to God, how grateful I am that I should be
Editor along with Bradford Temple doing admin and also editor ofSubud Voice which enables me to be so plugged
the support of Rahman Connelly. Then Marcus Bolt took into the Subud world. Through my work on Subud Voice I
over the lay-out. I can never thank them enough, for it really feel connected to the Subud World and all the won-
was due to their timely take-over that Subud Voice was derful and amazing things that are going on in it.
able to continue and become as it is today.
Easy to Get Depressed?
NOTE : Ilaine would like to publish a series of small books Of course it is very easy to get depressed about Subud
about her life in Subud, which include the story ofSubud and about one's own personal progress. And lately there
Voice, extracts from which appear above. She hopes the have been a lot of e-mails about the sale of S. Widjojo
first book could be in time for the Thankyou Celebrations and people arguing about this and that and deploring
in England this August. this, that and the other thing.
However, at present she has no money available for pub-
lication, and only if some generous readers of SV sponsor And it is very easy to focus on some area of annoyance
the book, could it be done. or irritation, and fail to see all the many, many marvellous
Do get in touch if you might consider doing this. And things that are going on.
please, as soon as possible.
Ilaine’s e-mail is ilaine.l@ntlworld.com and the tel. no. is If you just take the News in Brief page for example, what
(44) (0)1344 451851. All profits from sales would go to a lot of wonderful things are going on. Here you have all
Subud Voice.
•
Let Us Applaud Ourselves
these people in England beavering away to make a
ThankYou 2007 for us. We applaud you.

Then there is a wonderful International Youth Fund to

enable young people to go out and have all kinds of
Harris Smart writes… enriching and worthwhile experiences that will enable
them to express their youthful idealism, and grow as
Me. Would you like to hear about my experience as edi- human beings and, ultimately, enrich all of us. What a
tor ofSubud Voice? wonderful thing is MSF and all its programs. A round of
applause, please!
You. Not really. Do I have any choice?
Then you have the people at the BCU School in
Me. No, not really. I'm going to fill up this space with it Kalimantan. And what an extraordinary project that is,
whether you like it or not. Of course you always have the that some people should just go and set up a school in
option of moving on to something more to your taste. the wilds of Kalimantan on a shoestring, and it is proving
. to be a most remarkable success. Let us applaud them.
You. Okay. If I have no choice…get on with it.
Then you have this story about the Susila Dharma meeting
Me. All I wanted to say was how much I enjoyed being at Pelham House, and what an amazing story that is on so
the editor ofSubud Voice. No, more than that. How really many different levels. It brings up the whole exciting
important it is to me. What a gift I consider it to be. What Lewes story and how some Subud members there have
a privilege. What a blessing from God. pooled their resources, and taken the risk, and learned
how to work together to create this project in the historic
I consider myself to be a very poor sort of Subud member, Pelham House. And now Pelham House is cont on p 11>

PAGE 10 SUBUDVOICE
able to help Subud by being a venue for meetings such
as Susila Dharma. And with the mere mention of the word
Susila Dharma, you are instantly connected to all these
extraordinary projects that Susila Dharma does all around
the world. Let us pause for applause.
And so on and so on and so on. So many marvellous proj-
ects and wonderful people. And, of course, inSubud Voice
each month we only ever see the tiny tip of the iceberg of
all the wonderful things that are happening in Subud.
Isaac Goff in Bolivia
Another story in this issue I was really taken by was the one
about Isaac Goff and his work supporting projects in
Bolivia. What an extraordinary person is Isaac Goff! Let us
applaud Isaac Goff, pioneer entrepreneur and humani-
tarian. Go and read the story and you will find out what I mean.
Then there is the story about the work of
Susila Dharma Indonesia with the victims of Let your
the Jakarta Flood. When you think about it,
what extraordinary demands have been achievements
made upon Susila Dharma Indonesia in
recent years. Three major catastrophes. The
tsunami, the Jogja earthquake, and now
be my
the worst floods in Jakarta's history. How can
Susila Dharma Indonesia cope? But some-
achievements,
how it does. It keeps giving and giving and
giving. There is no ‘compassion exhaustion’ let your
here, but real action instead. Let us applaud
Susila Dharma Indonesia. Even more, let us
send them some money to help them keep
sorrows be
up their great work.
my sorrows
And I see that Muti’ah Lestiono has written
her life story. That should be a good read from this
American woman long resident in Indonesia. She's been
Ibu Rahayu’s long-term secretary, you know. I think that
deserves a round of applause, don't you?
And of course we applaud Ibu Rahayu, who in this issue
skillfully and courteously fields some curly questions
thrown at her by the Japanese members, including an
extremely curly one about gender issues.
What else excites me in this issue? There is a great enter-
prise story from Spain, a real ‘blood and guts of enter-
prise’ story. Let us applaud Sebastian and Pamela, and all
who sail with them, who have set out on that perilous sea
called ‘enterprise’.
Then there is our front-page story, another chapter in the
adventures of those brave souls who have been trying so
hard for so many years to make that mining work in
Kalimantan, which if it works finally, will change all our for-
tunes, and change all our failures into nothing less than
stepping stones to success. They deserve several rounds
of applause and at least three hip hip hoorays.
Then there is Osanna Vaughn, our WSA chairlady, writing
about the historic S. Widjojo meeting. She so intelligent, so
tall, so friendly, so approachable, so down-to-earth, so
diligent, so sincere, so committed and so natural. She is
always spreading hope and harmony wherever she goes.
Not only that, she is also multi-talented. She creates imag-
inary landscapes and I hear that now she has even writ-
ten a fantasy novel. As well as that, she sings and plays
the guitar, especially striking when she does it with her
twin sister, Maya. And just tell me of one other spiritual
SUBUDVOICE
organisation in the world which can boast a former
Bluebell as its chair. Let us applaud and celebrate that!
Then there is an article by Ilaina Lennard telling is the
amazing story of how Subud Voice was born. Let us cele-
brate Ilaina Lennard. What a treasure she is! How much
she has done! What an example she has set for all of us
with her dedication and hard work..
Then there is the final part of the three-part series we have
run on the story of Lailah Armstrong. What an inspiring story
that is of someone who had to encounter the most extraor-
dinary difficulties even to get into Subud, and then once she
was in, she faced another step of extraordinary difficulties.
Now she has come through to be able to do the extraordi-
nary, international, exciting work she now does with ICDP.
Let us applaud that story and this remarkable woman!
Let us celebrate Bapak who is quoted in
Ilaina's article. A few years ago I would not
have understood what Bapak was talking
about here. But now I understand it more. As
we go on in the latihan, more and more we
experience the dimensions of Bapak’s talks.
And of course we must celebrate God, the
Maker of All, the Sustainer of the Universe, to
whom we owe everything even that we exist
at all. So we have nothing to complain of
but only to celebrate that we have been
given the gift of existence. And not only that,
but also our quite amazing human con-
sciousness.
And also God is continually laying before us
pathways to salvation, opportunities for correction and
growth, in order to make the most of our sojourn here on
Earth, and our preparation for the life hereafter.
Inspiring and Amazing
You see how every issue of Subud Voice brings me in con-
tact with the most uplifting, inspiring and reassuring stories,
confirming for me that I went down the right path when I
chose to go down the path of Subud.
Every month these amazing and inspiring stories come in
to me from the Subud world, and I try and shape them
into aSubud Voice. Sometimes I feel a bit like a masseur or
a potter, massaging and shaping the raw material. Or a
baker kneading some dough to make a loaf. Pushing
here, and pulling there, and squeezing here, to try and
make a well shaped loaf.
I really believe that every Subud Voice I do has a special
meaning. As I work into the material,Subud Voice yields
up its secrets to me. It tells me what is going to be the
inner essence or meaning of Subud Voice this month, the
theme. I actually feel every month that the way Subud
Voice is, is the way it has to be.
I just have to listen to the material as carefully as I can and it
shapes itself into what Subud Voice is supposed to be that
month. Of course, if someone else was doing the job it might
be a different Subud Voice each month, but in so far as I am
doing the job, I feel it finds its own right and necessary form in
so far as I am able to give shape to each issue.
The Meaning of the 50th Anniversary
At our recent Subud Australia Congress in cont on p 12 >
PAGE 11
Byron Bay, we had a thing called Open Space
Technology. This is a technique for enabling people to
bring their ideas forward, and connect with other people,
and hopefully shape their ideas into projects.
David Week who had just been elected national chair,
introduced the session by referring to a Zen Buddhist text.
David Week is a very good speaker, always very clear, coher-
ent, concise yet complete, and also always calm and cour-
teous. The 6 Cs of good communication in my opinion. But
not only that, his speeches are adorned and encrusted with
wonderful quotations, references, and allusions to literature,
philosophy, religion and the cultures of many lands. This pro-
vides the 7th C of good communication - colour.
In introducing the Open Space Technology, he referred
to a classic Zen text in which the abbot of a monastery
advises the cook on how to run the kitchen. The funda-
mental message is that on any given day you have all the
ingredients you need to make the meal in the kitchen,
there are no other ingredients you need, and you should
use all the ingredients that are available.
This is how I feel when I doSubud Voice. I am the cook. I
have certain ingredients – the stuff that has come in. I
have to make a nice meal out of it, palatable, nutritious,
wholesome, occasionally delicious, never too spicy, but
let's hope not entirely bland.
By the way I think David's reference to that Zen text is also very
applicable to the meaning of this forthcoming 50th anniver-
sary celebration. All of us in Subud now are the ingredients.
The meal must be made out of all of us, and none left out.
So I see this as a great time of gathering all the
ingredients, to see what kind of meal we have made
in the last fifty years, and what we can cook over
the next fifty.
I also see it as a time of Celebration. Yes, of course it is a
time of Thank you, and a time of Celebration, and a time
of Assessment (looking at the accounts – are we in the
black or the red?) and a time for Gathering In (Harvest),
also a time for Dreaming our future into being. All those
things and no doubt many more.
We are like the pioneers who have crossed the Rockies in
the face of extraordinary difficulties of every kind. But look,
we have come through. So let us celebrate! Let us
applaud ourselves! I will applaud you and you can
applaud me! Let your achievements be my achievements,
let your sorrows be my sorrows. We are all in this together.
Let us applaud and celebrate all our wonderful friendships
in Subud and all the wonderful experiences we have had.
Let us cook a great meal for all the world to see!
So, there you go. That’s editorial impulse that drivesSubud
Voice.
You: I see. Well, most interesting. So that's the sort of stuff
that goes through your head when you do Subud
Voice?
Me: More or less.
You: Most interesting. Oh dear, is that my bus? I must be
off. See you next time. Keep up the good work.
•
Me: Thank you. See ya.
PAGE 12
Isaac in Bolivia
Isaac Goff is a pioneering Subud entrepreneur. Way back
in the 60s his company Dharma Trading made a killing
when silver and turquoise Navajo jewellry was all the
rage. In fact, they may have created the rage.
Since then Isaac has done many other things. If I remem-
ber correctly, he even served a spell as CEO of Anugraha
in that project’s latter days.
Dharma Trading continues to this day. And one of the
things they do is business with a human face, because
they support projects and workers in Latin America.
Interesting how Isaac is still working in a line and country
similar to what he did in the 60s – providing a marketing
face for the work of indigenous or depressed people.)
Here is Isaac’s report to this Dharma staff after a recent
visit to the projects…
Life is not fair
Some have much and others very little. I believe it is our
responsibility to help those who are less fortunate.
I believe this is God's will
We work on these projects in Bolivia not because we
have any particular connection to Bolivia, but rather
because that is the door that has been opened for us. We
partner with Solidarity Bridge, a Catholic charity under the
auspices of the Archdiocese of Chicago directed by a
friend of mine which conducts medical, enterprise and
educational missions to Bolivia.
During this most recent trip to Bolivia, I focused on three
projects:
•The Sewing & Weaving Co-ops whose clothing we
import and sell
•The Pediatric Cardiac Surgery program we support
financially
•The Vision Program for Children we are initiating
Sewing and Weaving
Co-ops
I visited each of the
four co-ops whose
clothing we import
and sell at our cost as
Fair Trade Goods and
made suggestions
about improving
quality, placed sever-
al new orders, and
added some new
styles. The goal here is Dharma Trading works with weaving
to help people earn a co-ops in Bolivia
living through their work.
I did a day long workshop demonstrating to all the co-
op's leaders, dyeing and decorating techniques for the
clothing styles they produce. The goal is by adding colour
and artwork to the clothing, they can be more successful
in selling to the middle and upper classes in Bolivia.
Additionally, it will make the clothing more widely sellable
in the USA and Europe.
Pediatric Cardiac Surgery
Last year Dharma financed about $30,000 cont on p 13 >
SUBUDVOICE
 of surgeries to repair heart prob-
I believe it lems in little kids whose parents
were too poor to pay for the sur-
is our geries. We do this in partnership
with Solidarity Bridge, using a car-
responsibility diologist, a social worker and the
Belga Clinic in Cochabamba.
to help those Many of the children would have
had no future without our help.
who are less For 2007, we will be continuing this
program. The goal here is just to
fortunate save little kids' lives.
Vision Program for Children
Last year I tried to initiate a Free Eyeglass program for chil-
dren. I was not able to make much progress. But now, with
the help of Christin Hinajosa of Solidarity Bridge, we seem to
be on the verge of starting. The plan for the first year is for
Dharma to underwrite the cost of screening about 6000
school children from poor families for vision problems, have
an estimated 600 examined by an ophthalmologist, and pro-
vide a free pair of eyeglasses to each child who needs them.
The work we all do here each day at Dharma is what makes
these programs possible.
As for Travelling…
As for travelling to Bolivia itself, getting there and back is a
nightmare. Cars, buses, planes, buses, planes, taxis.
Unfriendly, expensive airlines, cancelled flights, delayed
flights, lost luggage, impossible connections. A nightmare!
On the other hand, we were invited into the homes of several
Bolivians with whom we work. In one case, for a traditional meal
cooked in the ground with hot rocks. A lot of work for the host
and his family, and a neat experience for us.
I was able to visit an Alpaca Knitting Co-op begun some 40
or so years ago by a priest. They now have 500 women in the
countryside knitting high quality, designer alpaca garments
and an entire plant processing alpaca from fleece to yarn to
finished garments. Very impressive!
The medical team saw lots of patients, performed non-stop
operations, did training in Neurosurgery techniques, implant-
ed donated pacemakers and defibrillators, and donated a
ton of medical supplies and equipment. All in all, it was a
•
heck of trip.
For more information go to www.dharmatrading.com
The Third Escape
This is the third and final part of Lailah Armstrong's remarkable
Subud story…
...That was the second escape, then came the third one.
Even though my parents disowned me they looked for me.
They searched for me in Subud groups. By now I had
changed my name from Nicolette to Lailah and that was
very worrying to them. I was no longer at university. I was
pregnant. My father came and said, ‘Look we just want to
invite you for Christmas.’
I was very suspicious, but I tested and though I didn't want to
go, it seemed OK. But after Christmas, they wouldn't let me go
again. They meant well. They were worried about me, but they
always felt they could impose their will on me.
Again they sent me to a psychiatrist who said that by
Belgrade standards, we would be considered a little mad,
but by English standards, this was normal, and as my hus-
SUBUDVOICE
band was English we were probably OK.
Nevertheless, they wanted the baby to be born in Belgrade,
and this was against my own inner receiving and when I
couldn't persuade them, I had to run away again. I was more
than eight months pregnant, though it didn't show too much.
This was fortunate because they won’t let you on the plane if
you’re obviously very pregnant. My Bosnian friend, Gandhi,
gave me the money. He was taxi-driving to sustain himself, and
he gave me his whole salary - it was so generous.
I got back to England and had the baby. My mother arrived
to see her grandson straight away and my father did so three
months later and offered to buy a house for us.
I tried to be honest to mother and father, but whenever I tried
to tell them sincerely who I was, they thought I was losing my
reason. How could I blame them? I couldn't study - I seemed
to have lost my intellectual powers. I became a much more
feeling person.
In the long-run I am sure that was what I needed to balance
me as a human being, but from my parents’ point of view it
was as if this spiritual movement had destroyed my mind. My
brain came back, and although I didn't go back to Classics,
3 years later I studied Italian and much later child develop-
ment.
I made the decision after my son was born that I wouldn't talk
about Subud to my parents and I never did for years.
Matthew and I lived a quiet life in Watford. I did latihan most-
ly on my own, occasionally going to groups.
I gradually started to lead an active Subud life
I studied, then taught Italian. Eight years after my son was
born I had a daughter. The relationship with my parents
became good again.. For about ten years everything was
very quiet, and then I gradually started to lead an active
Subud life.
During one of these periods when I was having trouble with
my family, I was lying at home on the floor, feeling so
wretched and heavy I couldn't move - I wanted to die. I saw
Bapak then, and he said I should be patient because things
will get better, and there is a future for you, and you will trav-
el around and give talks. And I saw myself doing that. It
seemed completely impossible at this time, because it
seemed I had lost my ability to do anything.
There were other times, too, when I had a sense of his pres-
ence like a smile. He seemed to be saying, ‘Carry on. There
will be a different life.’
Sometimes, there were little foretellings which also helped
me. Even before Matthew and I married, I had a sponta-
neous latihan in which I saw myself having two children. This
is where I learned to rely on my own receiving.
In 1989 my life began to change. The first thing that hap-
pened was I became involved with Susila Dharma,
Subud’s social work. I had very much led a home life up
until that point.
One day I saw an ad for a job with Susila Dharma
One day I saw an advertisement for a job in the Susila
Dharma office, and as soon as I read it, I felt it was for me,
and I saw Bapak, and he said I should go to his 1,000 Days
selamatan in Indonesia, and also that that job was for me. It
felt very true and real so I followed it.
It was hard for me to go to Cilandak on my own. I’d never
gone anywhere on my own. It was also cont on p14 >
PAGE 13
 strange that my mother wanted to
A life which is come and visit me just at that
moment, but I told my mother I had
fulfilling for me a job, and had to go on a training
course. Which in a very deep sense
and also was true, as well as being an
making a acceptable explanation to her.
contribution to I was a bit lonely in Cilandak
because I didn't know anyone, but
the needs of in the first latihan I felt as if I was wel-
comed there by Bapak. Most of the
humanity time I was walking around on my
own, but I was very happy, and I felt
I was there because Bapak wanted me to be there. And
after Cilandak, I came back and started the job at Susila
Dharma.
I was the office manager. This was when Wilbert Verheyen
was the chairman of Susila Dharma. When that finished, I
began to work for ICDP (International Child Development
Program). It flowed on quite naturally and I went back to
University and studied Psychology.
International Child Development Program
ICDP is a simple, sensitising program directed towards care-
givers of children. This can include parents, teachers, anyone
in an extended family who cares for the child, and caregivers
who work in day centres or institutions. It is particularly good
for young children but it can benefit children of any age.
It emphasises how we can behave towards children in ways
that are of benefit to them. It’s also a
process of discovering your own abil-
ity. As you discover what you can do
well, you strengthen your own confi-
dence.
The effect on caregivers is that they
know why what they do is good.
They discover ways of entering the
world of their children, following and
building on their children’s initiatives
- seeing the child as a person. The
result of the program is a very
humane way of dealing with chil-
dren, releasing empathy.
Lailah Armstrong’s work with ICDP promotes good
ICDP is an NGO registered in relationships between children and their carers. that Bapak had actually asked some-
Norway, with funding from various In this case in Angola
sources. Projects have been supported by NORAD and
UNICEF, for example.
We work as consultants which means others pay us (or as vol-
unteers when there are no funds). ICDP was developed by
Rukman Hundeide, a professor in early childhood develop-
ment in Norway, and it combines his professional expertise
with his Subud insight. He has a special sensitivity to the needs
of children which is also related to his own childhood. In
Norway it is a government supported program.
My work has been to give training courses and help run the
organisation. I have worked in several countries, including
with Subud members in Colombia and Ukraine. We train
groups of professionals and then they can go on to train
others who work with children and their caregivers. The
training includes several seminars and practical work in
self-training projects.
We teach people the methodology so that they can repli-
cate it. Our aim is to reach large numbers of children and
families so we try to target networks such as health visitors, for
example, so that they can insert ICDP in their work. The pro-
PAGE 14
gram has been evaluated and adopted by WHO and this
helps us to spread it.
The program is desperately needed in countries like Angola
where the whole fabric of society and the family has been
torn apart by years of civil war and where children in partic-
ular have been abused, brutalised and neglected.
Looking back on my life in Subud I can see that it has been a
long process which has finally enabled me to find a life which
is fulfilling for me and also making some kind of contribution
to the needs of humanity.
My own process goes on
Of course my own process still goes on but it’s not so acute. It
was about fifteen years of really severe dislocation when I was
not able to do anything very much except be at home and
look after my family. I really couldn’t function well, I was too
sensitive to the environment. But gradually it passed and I was
able to study, to work, and finally find my way to the ICDP
work that I do now.
I see now that many of my troubles were related to a con-
fused idea of sincerity. I thought I had to be completely hon-
est to people, but I see now that it only led to trouble. Being
sincere to God was the right thing to do. That meant com-
pletely surrendering my situation - explaining to Him what I
wanted, and what I hoped for, but not expecting anything,
just accepting whatever came.
It is the sincerity to God which is important. I could never be
sincere with my father, because he just couldn’t understand
it - but it took me a long time to
realise that. To people I will be as sin-
cere as they can let me be.
In some ways my life sounds like a
tabloid story but for me it was all
about trying to find my way to God. I
was prepared to sacrifice my par-
ents, the comforts of a rich back-
ground, give up my education,
everything, for what I saw as my path
to God.
When I was 17, I wrote to Bapak
about being opened. I never got a
reply, but much later on I found out
one to visit me.
I met this person and he described going to my family home. It
was actually just as well Bapak didn't reply to my letter because
all the letters were being opened. It was reassuring to discover
15 years later that Bapak had tried to help me.
The story ended when my mother asked to be opened. The
way this happened is the miracle of Subud. My mother came
to England for treatment because she was ill. We talked
about my work. She asked me how I had the courage to
travel on my own to countries so far away. I said, ‘I have an
inner guidance.’
She said, ‘You don't mean that Subud thing?’
I said, ‘Of course - it guides my life.’
At first I could see the fear in her face - but as I described
what Subud meant to me she relaxed.
‘It’s an inner experience,’ I told her. ‘The place from which I
occasionally receive clear guidance. Then somehow I
know what I need to do. It is a place inside here.’ I pointed
to my chest. cont on p15>
SUBUDVOICE
She said, ‘What about Bapak?’
‘He died a long time ago.’ She was always afraid we would
be following and giving money to some guru. This reassured
her - that it was all continuing on without him.
The strength I had received impressed her, and the fact that
I hadn't spoken about it for a long time. She asked me what
I thought it was.
‘I don't know - it’s a miracle, a gift, it’s not dependent on
Bapak. It's open to anyone. It has to do with the Will of God
and we can pass it on.’
She said, ‘How do you mean you can pass it on?’ Then, ‘If
that is how it is, I would like to be opened.’ I was so moved
and so grateful to God – I kept thinking miracle, miracle.
I opened my mother. She was ill, so she couldn't go to a lati-
han place. I couldn’t believe that here I was standing in front
of my mother and that after all the trials and troubles and
struggles, she was asking for the latihan.
When I told Matthew my mother had asked to be opened,
he said, ‘This is the greatest miracle.’
For our family, it was a Subud miracle – the biggest I've witnessed.
My father is dead now, and so is my mother. Shortly before
she died, I asked the helpers to do latihan with me for my
mother who was in hospital. We all felt it was a special lati-
han, very light. I clearly heard ‘it won’t be long now, your
mother is ready’ and right at the end of the latihan for a short
moment I saw my father who said, ‘I am waiting for mother’.
She died just after we finished that latihan.
April 2005
I am immensely grateful to Almighty God for his guidance in
my ICDP work which developed steadily over the years, par-
ticularly since I obtained sponsorship by UNICEF in 2002.
I am currently leading the training in an inter-institutional project that
aims to reduce abuse of children in the Boyaca province of
Colombia; it is covering 123 towns of the Province of Boyaca, involv-
ing 10,000 agents from the social, education, health and church
networks, reaching 80,000 families and over 200,000 children.
As result of our work in Colombia the UNICEF director has this
year started campaigning for ICDP to become part of
UNICEF’s global strategy.
On a personal note, I see more clearly now just how much I
•
had received from my parents and I also see more clearly
now how much I still need to improve as a person.
The London Walk
Now here is a nice little SICA idea which could be duplicat-
ed anywhere in the world. Go for a nice walk in your city with
an experienced guide who can fill you in on all the architec-
tural and historical points of interest.
Of course London is a particularly rich experience, but we
could do it anywhere. We could do it right here in Melbourne
where I am. Or you could do it right wherever you are.
Thank you Patricia Dear, UK, for telling us all about it, and
inspiring us to emulate you...
We all met up at City Hall or ‘Ken’s Palace’, beside
the river facing wonder ful views of The Tower of
SUBUDVOICE
The SICA river walkers
London , Tower Bridge and the Customs House.
Mairi Store (Chair of SICA) explained that there was a reason
for the lob-sided spiral shape - to make the most of the sun-
light and that it wouldn’t cast a shadow over the pedestrian
area. It was designed in a very environmentally friendly way.
The water in the cooling system can be used again for flush-
ing the toilets, and the heating comes from the computers
used in the building.
We then went onto the Hay’s Galleria, which was once a river-
side wharf. The original wharf was much bigger than just the
Hay’s Galleria, it stretched from the Galleria to near where
London Bridge Hospital is. The whole area was known as
London’s Larder. Today the area is known as London Bridge City.
We walked through Southwark where we saw the replica of
the Golden Hind and Southwark Cathedral where we heard
the story of St Mary Overy, before she entered the convent.
On to the Borough, which was independent of the City of
London and we heard tales of ladies of the night in their
‘stews’ tempting the wealthy gentlemen across the river, and
the ferryman’s seat, where he waited to ferry the men back
again after curfew for a good price.
We walked through the Borough market amid smells of fresh-
ly cooked hot salt beef, and pork and chicken. We saw the
Clink prison and the gruesome cage hanging aloft where
people were left to die in public view after being tortured.
We passed the site of the old Globe Theatre and stopped for cof-
fee at the new theatre. Mairi told us that this was because of the
efforts of Sam Wannamaker and his dream of about fifty years ago.
He first got the idea when he visited a British Trade Fair in
Chicago in 1936 and saw a model displayed there. Sam died
in 1993 and therefore was never able to see the realisation of
his dream in action.- restoring the Globe for Elizabethan
Theatre. And lots more...
We should do this more often
We all had lunch together looking out on to the river and the
hustle and bustle of London . I really enjoyed being in nice
Subud company. So rarely do we get together JUST to enjoy
ourselves . We should do this more often, perhaps organise a
Theatre trip.
We were blessed with a beautiful day with clear views all
about and Mairi made it so interesting for us all. She is a qual-
ified London Guide and knows London inside out.
Thanks Mairi. I hope you will arrange another walk in the sum-
mer £ 100 was raised for SICA. This picture was taken by Jim
Williams of some of the walkers.
PAGE 15
•
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