UPM-CALC/SEM1/2018-

19/CEL2106/WORKSHEET/WEEK7

Name: FARZAD DEHGHAN MANSHADI 185180 Group: 18

Worksheet Week 7

This is an individual activity for you to carry out. The activities should be completed and
submitted on EDMODO by the due date.

A. Revise the highlighted sentences in the job application letter below by using “You”
view language.

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 UPM-CALC/SEM1/2018-
19/CEL2106/WORKSHEET/WEEK7

Name: FARZAD DEHGHAN MANSHADI 185180 Group: 18

1. Your future employee thanks you for the opportunity to introduce himself for the

Marketing and Sales Leadership Training Internship

2. Your future employee has work experience for Morgan Stanley where he was the primary

liaison on a new Bond trading software program linking the inventories of over 70 Brokers

and Dealers.

3. Your company would benefit from someone who worked at Golden Sachs’ Analyst

Program regarding Institutional Enquiries as a middle office role

4. The writer prefers fast paced and result striven environment.

5. The writer appreciates the time you will take to review the resume.

B. Revise the sentences below by using “You” view and persuasive language.

1. I have considerable experience working within environments where customer service is

important.

Your future employee has considerable experience working within environments where

customer service is important

2. I understand how important customer service is to the continued success of any business
and I am personally very committed to delivering outstanding service.

You are looking at your future employee who is very committed to deliver outstanding

service and understands how important customer service is to the continued success of

any business.

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19/CEL2106/WORKSHEET/WEEK7

Name: FARZAD DEHGHAN MANSHADI 185180 Group: 18

3. I feel that the combination of my engineering expertise and people skills could be really
valuable within the corporate environment as I understand both the technical challenges
of the energy sector and the business impact of these skills.

Your company will definitely benefit from hiring a person who has engineering expertise

and people skills which could be very valuable within the corporate environment as he

understands both the technical challenges of the energy sector and business impact of

these skills.

4. Throughout my life I have demonstrated strong leadership abilities and a willingness to

get involved and make things happen.

You will be hiring someone who demonstrates strong leadership abilities and a

willingness to get involved and make things happen.

5. I am committed and tenacious, not only in the sporting arena where I have regularly
represented both my university first team and my country at tennis, but also in my
academic work where I have consistently performed in the top quarter of my course.

Your company surely will benefit from a person who is committed not only in sporting

arena where representing both university and his country at tennis but also in academic

work where he has consistently performed in the top quarter of his course.

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 UPM-CALC/SEM1/2018-
19/CEL2106/WORKSHEET/WEEK7

Name: FARZAD DEHGHAN MANSHADI 185180 Group: 18