Veronica Torres

Maria Fedorova
WP3 Final Draft
Writing 2

Disabling Dreams ☽-
How You Can Put an End to Sleepless Nights
Some nights seem
restless, troublesome, or
even torturing for those
who deal with sleep
abnormalities every night
and day. While many are
able to get a good night’s
rest, people throughout
the world deal with the
struggling issues of
insomnia, sleep apnea,
and narcolepsy. Although
there might not be an
cure that is 100%
effective, there are ways
you can help yourself or
someone you know make
living with these struggles
a bit easier. Commented [MOU1]: It’s a very strong introduction.
You described the problem, gave appropriate context,
and offered a”solution” (=thesis statement). Nice!
When a person has
trouble falling to sleep
and doesn’t get much rest,
this is known as insomnia.
Insomnia could differ for everyone depending on the hours needed to help you get through
the next day. Some people feel fine with only 5 hours of sleep while others would classify
that as a night dealing with insomnia. A night of worrying nonstop over personal reasons
and stress accompanied by anxiety, could all be factoring reasons as to why a person has
insomnia. Insomnia could also result from the use of alcohol, caffeine, noise, indigestion,
and uncomfortable temperatures. A friend of mine has often recalled not being able to fall
asleep for a few nights straight. She found herself lying in bed at night starring above at the
ceiling and couldn’t help but wonder: “Why am I not able to fall asleep?” She got up paced
Commented [MOU2]: This idea is not connected to
around the room and tried to get herself to feel tired. Eventually, she was able to fall asleep other ideas in this paragraph. You need to tie the
after hours of what seemed torturous. For severe insomnia reach out to your doctor. friend’s example to this idea. Maybe, you can say
something like: While her case was mild, for severe..
 Tips to help reduce your chances of insomnia are (Hauri, 1982; Lilie &
Rosenberg, 1990): Commented [MOU3]: You can probably cut it. What
you may do is put references at the end of the article.

 Keep a regular time schedule for going to bed and waking up each day. For more on sleep problems, see:
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and other stimulants, especially in the evening. Hauri…
Lilie
 Don't rely on alcohol or tranquilizers to fall asleep. After repeated use, you Rosenberg
may be unable to sleep without them.
 Keep your bedroom cool and quiet.
 Exercise daily but not shortly before bedtime.

Another
sleep
abnormality is
sleep apnea.
Sleep apnea
describes the
act of not
breathing in
your sleep.
What this
means is that
those who have
sleep apnea
stop breathing
for a brief
moment and
then quickly
gasp for air. This could be troublesome for many due to not being able to sleep
comfortably and can lead to serious health problems.

Some causes of sleep apnea include: ( Dr. Jamali)

 Genetic inheritance.
 Narrow airway combined with large tongue/tonsils/uvula.
 Being overweight or obese.
 Having a receding chin and small jaw area.
 Having a large neck.
 Having an untreated dental overbite.
 Smoking heavily or drinking heavily.
 Certain ethnicities: Hispanic, Pacific Islander, African American.
  Being over the age of 40.

A family member of mine suffers from sleep apnea and wears a mask to
sleep in order to help her breath at night. She mentions, “I am finally able to get a
good night's sleep as before I was scared.” The mask was able to allow her to gain
a good night’s rest without worrying for her health. The long term risks of sleep
apnea could even lead to stroke.

To treat this, people should :

 Lose weight
 Avoid alcohol and tranquilizers before bed
 Have surgery to remove tissue to widen airway
 Use device that pumps air to mask to force person to breathe

Lastly, people who receive a

sudden charge of sleepiness throughout
the day experience narcolepsy. People
with narcolepsy have an issue with
staying awake throughout the day
because they have very little orexin
producing neurons which are used to
send signals for people to stay awake.
This could mean that many can fall
asleep while in the middle of a
conversation or even at work. Those
with narcolepsy also endure uneven and
interrupted sleep that can lead to
waking up frequently during the night.
Causes of narcolepsy can include; brain injuries, family history, and autoimmune
disorders. Although one might not be able to prevent narcolepsy, to help someone
you know, using both antidepressant and stimulant drugs helps keep wakefulness
during the day and avoids the attacks of muscle weakness.

Being informed of different sleep abnormalities is important in that it may help you
or someone you know cope with irregular sleep. Learning the reasons why a person might
have certain difficulties can help reduce the amount of sleepless nights and or health
problems. If you or someone you know struggle with these issues, follow these helpful tips
and contact your doctor for more information.
Veronica Torres
Maria Fedorova
WP3 Final Draft
Writing 2
Becoming Aware of Sleep Abnormalities

Being informed of different sleep abnormalities is important in that it may help you or

someone you know cope with irregular sleep. Learning the reasons why a person might have

certain difficulties can help reduce the amount of sleepless nights and or health problems. [Add a

sentence here to transition from the topic of the paper to the goal of this essay. Perhaps, you may

say something about different genres that discuss this topic.] The source I will be translating

derives from a section in my intro to psychology textbook, due to the informative chapter of Commented [MOU4]: Try to replace “to be” with an
active verb (where it is possible).
sleep and dreams that I feel many should know. Commented [MOU5]: What is your new genre?

The section I translated was from chapter 10.2 Sleep Abnormalities in the electronic book

Mindtap, which provides information regarding the various challenges people go through
revolving sleep. The genre of this book is an informative textbook meant to be read by college
students taking the course intro to psychology. Those studying human behavior will get an
insight into the many difficulties people face as well as an explanation as to why people may act
or think a certain way. Rather than having the genre a textbook meant for students interested in
Commented [MOU6]: I feel like this sentence repeats
information that was discussed in the last sentence of
the previous paragraph. Rephrase?
After reading the whole paragraph, I think that it will be
helpful to work on crafting a new topic sentence. To do
so, read the whole paragraph and ask yourself: what is
this paragraph about? Write down your answer. Your
answer will be your topic sentence. Then revise this
new topic sentence.

the course, I have changed the information to be presented through a blog post. Through this Commented [MOU7]: What is your blog’s title? Can you
add it to your translation?
blog post, I inform the different sleep abnormalities people face and ways you can reduce your

difficulty sleeping at night. This would serve as a way to help people better their health and help

others they know who face these struggling issues. I think it is important people are aware of

these various sleep experiences which are insomnia, sleep apnea, and narcolepsy due to the long

term effects they can have on people. This blog post would be meant for young and older adults

who face or know someone who struggles with these everyday issues. The two audiences differ
in that one is meant to provide information to students taking a course while a blog post will be

able to serve information to those all around. This will be meant for adults who are most likely to

have sleep abnormalities seeking advice and or help and are looking for a quick and easy read. Commented [MOU8]: I

Through a blog post one will get information presented to them easily than if you were to

just have read a textbook. In my translation for example I include, “To treat this, people should :

 Lose weight
 Avoid alcohol and tranquilizers before bed
 Have surgery to remove tissue to widen airway
 Use device that pumps air to mask to force person to breathe”

I use a bulleted list to provide an easier access to information for readers in order to

ensure they come across the important information. This is effective in that many are

able to view these points more clearly and have no problem finding the information

they need in the post. This is an excellent new genre in that many have access to the

internet and will gain the information they need that can help solve or prevent some

health problems. Some might not know of the different sleep abnormalities and this

blog could show the differences between them. This is also a great way to

communicate with the audience as it seems more personal coming from me and my

experience rather than a textbook written by professionals who study this information

for their careers. Through blog posts, people are able to comment and share

information with one another and the author being myself is able to reply or hold

conversations with the audience underneath the post. A blog post is an effective genre

to communicate to adults in that many are reading new information presented online

and love to hear of other’s experiences. Commented [MOU9]: There are several important
ideas in this paragraph, and it might be more effective
to break it up into several smaller paragraphs.
 In order to create my blog post I incorporated the bulleted list that were

featured in the textbook as it contained helpful tips that all should know in order to Commented [MOU10]: You’ve already talked about the
list. Should this information be moved to another
paragraph?
better their life and help rid of these sleep abnormalities. What I kept was the factual

information such as the meaning of each abnormality and the ways to help live with

them or prevent suffering. I chose to add personal experiences I have encountered such Commented [MOU11]: New paragraph? You’re talking
about a new writing choice.
as those of a friend or family member. I think it was a great idea to connect more

personally with the audience and it helps communicate better with one another. To

achieve this, I state in my translation, “A friend of mine has often recalled not being

able to fall asleep for a few nights straight… She got up paced around the room and

tried to get herself to feel tired. Eventually, she was able to fall asleep after hours of

what seemed torturous.” By adding an experience from a friend, I am able to relate

with the audience and allow them to know they are not alone when facing these issues. Commented [MOU12]: Good analysis.

Many people experience the same abnormalities each night and they should know they

are able to connect with the author and others who comment along the blog post.

What I noticed after translating the genre from “old to “new” was the Commented [MOU13]: transition

similarities and differences between the two. Like a textbook, a blog post too can be

informative. Although it is more opinion based and focuses on more personal

experiences, they both can contain factual information to help you gain more

knowledge of the subject or topic. A blog post seems to be more connected with the

audience and can provide more personal experience and opinions where as a textbook

is meant to teach a subject to a group of students taking the course. In my blog post I

provide, “A family member of mine suffers from sleep apnea and wears a mask to

sleep in order to help her breath at night. She mentions, “I am finally able to get a good
night's sleep as before I was scared.” The mask was able to allow her to gain a good

night’s rest without worrying for her health.” This is able to show personal experiences Commented [MOU14]: This part repeats the idea about
personal experiences that you addressed in the
previous paragraph. Move this example there? Delete?
with the audience and let them know it's okay to feel scared or worried but remember

they are not alone and can receive help just as this person did. A textbook does not

have a personal connection with the audience and seems to be factual rather than

opinion. Blog posts are also much shorter in length and focus on one topic alone which

differs from a textbook that has subsections or topics within the course. Both are able

to engage readers with information and are able to teach many subjects or topics they

lacked knowledge of before.

In order to create this translation, it was important that I used skills we have

learned in class and incorporated them into the paper. For example, I knew for a blog

post I had to give more examples and personal experience rather than just information.

In “Navigating Genres” by Kerry Dirk, the author states, “Although textbooks are

directed at students, they are often more formal affairs meant to serve a different

purpose than this essay… I had been granted more freedom in writing this essay than

is typical of an already established, although never static, genre. As a result, I decided

to make this essay a mix of personal anecdotes, examples, and voices from teachers of

writing.” Similar to that of Dirk, I established a goal and knew my audience before

writing my translation. I knew it was appropriate to add personal examples to connect

with my audience. I also made sure to state a clear understanding in the intro

paragraph of what this blog post will be about. Irvin mentions in “What Is ‘Academic’

Writing”, “Whatever topic you choose, state it as a clear and interesting question. You

may or may not state this essay question explicitly in the introduction of your paper (I
actually recommend that you do), but it will provide direction for your paper and a

focus for your claim since that claim will be your answer to this essay question.”

Without actually stating a question, I am able to make a clear thesis statement of what

readers shall expect to hear in the blog post. I address all parts mentioned to make sure

I support my thesis and claim with evidence.

After reading a section in my intro to psychology textbook, I chose to translate

the genre into an informative blog post in order to provide real life examples and tips

to help better the lives of not only those college students who read the textbook but

adults all around who seek advice and use the internet. Commented [MOU15]: Develop this paragraph a bit
more by summarizing your key points.
 Works Cited
Dirk, Kerry. Navigating Genres. 3 May 2010,
writingspaces.org/sites/default/files/dirk--navigating-genres.pdf.

Irvin, L. Lennie. What Is "Academic" Writing?3 May 2010,

writingspaces.org/sites/default/files/irvin--what-is-academic-writing.pdf.

Hauri, 1982; Lilie & Rosenberg, 1990

Jamali, Majid. “Sleep Apnea Treatment Guide | New York, Ny.” Sleep Apnea Surgery, 30Mar. 2017,
www.sleepapneasurgerynyc.com/blog/sleep-apnea-treatment-guide.

“Image Gallery: Narcolepsy Cartoon.” Image Gallery Medieval Apothecary,

keywordsuggest.org/gallery/518958.html.

“Image Gallery: Narcolepsy Cartoon.” Image Gallery Medieval Apothecary,

keywordsuggest.org/gallery/518958.html.