- This is Julien

and welcome to the first preview video

of my new 12 month long

interactive digital program

Transformation Mastery Academy

which is my new online course

where I reveal

the most cutting edge

transformational secrets

that took me over a decade

to figure out on my own

ever since 2006 when I first started

getting into all of this

and working on myself.

And with these tools,

these blueprints, these

step by step processes,

as well as the unique

accountability and support system

that I've created,

you will have everything you need

to make success for you inevitable.

- It's been the first

time in over 10 years

since my dad died

that I actually felt like I did before.

- Transformation Mastery Academy

is the culmination of all my years

traveling around the world

teaching transformational work

to tens of thousands
of people face to face

and millions online

where typically every single week,

I'm in a new city, a new country

meeting all types of people

dealing with all types of issues

and I've perfected my teachings,

I've perfected my craft

so that no matter who you are,

what you're dealing with,

this will change your life.

Whether you're pursuing financial success,

whether you're working

on becoming healthier,

working on your friendships,

your relationships,

this will deliver the goods.

- I had no way of being

able to deal with that pain.

I had no way of being able to handle it

and for the first time in my life,

I finally feel an inner

stillness and peace in myself.

- You see, teaching is a

permanent lifestyle for me.

It's all I've known my entire adult life.

It's my passion, it's my

love, it's in my blood,

it's in my DNA

and I've dedicated my life

to always being on the cutting edge

of personal transformation

and having the most results

producing concepts out there

and easily being able to

transfer that onto you.
And this is what you're
going to get in experience

when you join Transformation

Mastery Academy.

This is the work that I'm famous for,

it's my premium content,

it's what I really have to offer

and I'd love for you to experience it

and take your life to the next level.

- That was amazing,

just being able to finally

find that root reason.

I believe that's probably,

man, I've been searching for a long time

to try to find that root reason

of why I'm fucked up.

I think that's it right there

and it's amazing to share with you guys.

- Every single week,

almost every single day,

people are coming up to

me in the street in tears

telling me and showing me

how this has completely changed

every aspect of their lives

and I want you to be a

part of those people,

part of that tribe of people

who are just winning in life.

So click the link here below.

I want to make you part of this tribe.

I want to make you part of my clique.

Let me change your life right now.

Click the link to begin.

Click it right now.

And what we're gonna crack into here

is the Transformation Mastery Manifesto

which lays down the foundation

that this work is built on

which isn't like anything

you've seen before.

It's an entirely new approach

that disrupts the traditional

self help industry

and produces true permanent

personal transformation.

So sit back and pay attention

and stay with me till

the end of this video

because at the very end,

I have a very special announcement for you

that you don't want to miss out on.

Enjoy.

We live in a world of denial

filled with denialists.

Okay, what is a denialist?

You.

Just him, no one else.

No, everyone.

One simple example, how you doing?

Good?

- [Gunther] Good.

- Okay.

That is a denialist.

How you doing?

Good.

Really?

You can test this.

Just ask a friend, "Hey, how's it going?"

"Good," the autopilot response.

"Oh, good, how are you doing?"

"How's it really going?"

Just add that word really.

Okay, no, no, no, not how's it going,

how's it really going?

Well, I kind of feel empty inside.

I don't have much success with women.

That's why I'm here

and I kind of hate myself

and my mom has this sickness

and I'm dealing with that

and there's all this stress

and my small dick and all this shit

and fuck, I just want to die.

So you're saying that is good?

Okay, that is a denialist

where basically, and it's not just you,

I'm just fucking around

here, it's everyone.

We live in this world where

everyone is walking around

pretending, and this is a

simple surface layer example,

but we're all pretending

everything is fucking peachy,

everything is fine,
when we have this shit inside of us

that is eating us

that is controlling us, that is running us

where most of the things you do here today

is run by this shit, trying to escape it,

trying to change it, trying to fix it

and we're all pretending

like there is no shit inside.

It's like we're all walking

around on fucking fire

and we're like, we're not on fire.

Are you on fire?

Hell no.

So fucking chill.

And it's shocking to see.

And my hope here is once I

break this all down for you,

you're gonna go outside this room

and you're gonna start noticing it

and it's gonna fuck with you.

You're gonna be like, holy shit.

That's how I see the world,

that's how Owen sees the world.

We walk around and it's

literally like seeing everyone

in this world of complete denial.

And if you're not aware of

what's going on inside of you,

how do you expect to

make any kind of change,

any kind of permanent change,

any kind of true transformation?

And as a little side note too,

this is the source of any
kind of misery in your life.

It's the fact that you're not aware

of everything that is you,

everything that is going on inside of you.

So think of it like this

and we're gonna keep diving deep.

There are two yous.

I'll pick on you again here,

what's your name?

- [Gunther] Gunther

- Gonether?

- [Gunther] Gunther.

- Or Gunter?

- [Gunther] Gunther,

t-h-e-r.
- Gunther

like a gun and a ther, Gunther.

So Gunther, there's the conscious Gunther,

the you that you're

probably aware of right now.

It's like I'm sitting here,

I'm listening to Julien,

I'm wearing this, this is what's going on.

That is the conscious you.

But there is also the unconscious you.

You can call this your shadow,

something Carl Jung talks about a lot.

I'd highly recommend doing

research in that field there

where in your shadow self

there is the unacceptable you.
Right now there's the conscious
you that is acceptable.

Then there's this split,

there's the unconscious you, your shadow,

where there are all the

unacceptable thoughts that you have,

the thoughts that are

not very comfortable,

the thoughts that threaten your identity,

that threaten your ego,

that threaten your survival,

unacceptable beliefs,
unacceptable emotions,

unacceptable personality traits,

unacceptable experiences,

you can also call these

traumatic experiences,

all the things that are you

that you've labeled as bad

and that you've spent

your entire life living

pretending that they aren't there.

And we all have this.

We all block shit out of our awareness

like you know what, this is really bad,

that is not me.

Something bad happens to you, fuck,

that is so horrible,

that will fuck with me

the rest of my life,

that never happened,

that happened to another me, it is not me.

So there are two versions of you.

And this split here is what causes

a lot of the suffering

you have inside of you

'cause you can never truly feel at home.

Here you are, there's your body

but there's only one

acceptable side of you

and there's this enemy inside

and this runs your life.

A denialist runs or
lives a life of escapism

trying to constantly
escape, run away, and block

the unacceptable part of themselves.

This is why, for example,

you might seek validation,

you might seek love,

to fill a certain void inside

'cause there's something

missing inside of you.

You can feel like this, there's a split.

Here is the acceptable you,

here's the unacceptable you.

You're not whole.

And you know that if

you don't do anything,

including even thinking,

this is gonna start coming

into your awareness.

So you live your life trying

to amplify the acceptable you,

trying to run away from

all this shit here.

Chasing more validation,

chasing more money,

chasing more knowledge,

trying to numb it through alcohol,

through distractions,

through socialization,

through cigarettes, through

drugs, whatever it is,

through sleep.

This runs you.

And if you actually do a

little audit on your life

and you ask yourself

hmm, when's the last time

I acted in a way where I wasn't

running away from something

or running towards something better,

you'll realize the answer is almost never.

No?

You ever hear, live a

life of your own design,

create a life for you?

The life you're living is not

a life of your own design,

it's a life of escapism

running away from this.

Even finding a purpose,

people are like, I need

a purpose to be happy,

I need a purpose to be fulfilled.

That's not a true purpose.

That is to be controlled

by the fear of not having a purpose

of running away from this shit here.

So the true permanent

process of transformation

starts by realizing this,

acknowledging and validating

the shadow part of you,

reowning it

and letting go of your

resistance to being whole.

A quote I'd recommend

writing down here is,

"You must acknowledge and

reown your inner demons,

"the shit you've been running

away from your entire life,

"or it'll keep running you

"and they will keep torturing you."

And at this point,

you might pretend on the

surface like everything is fine

but deep inside, you know you're hurting,

you know you're being tortured,

you know you're on fucking fire.

As a little test here,

and I challenge you to actually

be honest answering this,

how many here in their lifetime

have had a suicidal

thought pop in their head?

Raise your hand.

Okay, look around the room.

Shocking.

Now, everything is fine yet there's this.

How many here, being honest,

and I challenge you to

be honest, hard to do,
have had a suicidal thought
kick in once a week?

You're not gonna act on

it but it just kicks in.

Raise your hand.

Okay.

How many people here

are unable to spend time

alone doing nothing,

just sitting with themselves?

Raise your hand.

This one I know is complete bullshit.

It's all of you.

It is so hard to do this by the way

that I know you're all lying.

Immediately when you go home,

the first thing you do,

play music, do something,

you just can't sit alone.

You can just do a test here,

go to a restaurant and observe couples.

As soon as one goes to the bathroom,

what's the first thing the other one does?

- [Male] Check their phone.

- Yeah.

And you know you'll do the fucking same.

It's like, any notifications?

I must not stay alone with myself

or else I will have to

face everything that is me.

So this is the premise.

Let's start with the approach.

A denialist's approach is
an outward focused approach.

Why?

Everything is outward
focused with the denialist

'cause you're constantly trying

to escape that shit inside

of you, your shadow.

Internally that's why it's like,

oh distractions, distraction, numbing,

away from who I truly am.

So of course your approach is like

I might've realized that

I feel like shit inside

but the way I'm gonna fix this

is by focusing on the external

'cause that's the way

you go about everything.

So if this is how you feel inside,

you might focus on your life situation.

You're like, you know

what, I feel like shit

but it's because I don't have women.

It's because I don't have enough money,

I don't have enough friends,

I don't have a good house,

I need access to cooler things,

I need to travel more,

I need cooler clothes,

I need this, this, this, this, this.

And this is the route that everyone takes,

inside and outside of self help.

Outside of self help, it's

mainly materialistic things

like money, cooler house,

so and and so forth,

and there's a famous saying of course,

money doesn't buy happiness or does it?

But even going deeper here,

in self help it's like

gathering more books,

attending more courses,

it's this constant external focus

hoping that this will in turn

affect how you feel inside.

And I'm sure you've

realized it didn't work.

I remember when I first started my journey

going up and saying hi to women,

working on my dating life,

I literally thought gun

to the head, swear to God,

if I could just say hi to a girl

and get her to respond

back positively and smile,

my life would be complete.

Put me on a lie detector, swear to God,

if I could just get one good reaction,

my life would be complete.

And I got it and then what happened?

It didn't work.

I guess I need a good reaction

but I need people to see.

Got that, it didn't work.

Okay, I need a good reaction

and a phone number.

Got that, it didn't work.

And you're constantly

chasing the next thing

and the next thing and the next thing.

Right now if you do an audit on your life,

I'm sure there were

multiple things you thought

once you had those,

that's the missing link,

the missing thing in my life

and you have it

and here you are chasing the next thing.

No?

And that is crazy to reflect on too

'cause what kind of life is that?

You're ultimately chasing

these things you don't enjoy

'cause you realize they didn't work

and then you're chasing another thing.

So if you don't even enjoy the result,

the result is nothing.

You're chasing phantoms,

you're chasing absolutely nothing,

going from one phantom to the next.

Is that living?

Now you might realize that.

And this happens in self help

once you start working on yourself.

You're like, okay, fuck the external,

let's focus on my personality.

Positive affirmations,
become smarter, et cetera, et cetera,

but even that doesn't work.

And this is what I

realized before my scandal

is I had everything that I

could think of externally

yet inside that experience

of me was the same.

And that's when it really fucks with you.

To illustrate this,

imagine, you're in your 20s, you're a guy,

what does every guy in their 20s want?

- [Female] Bitches.

- Sex.

Hot girls, sex.

You get that.

Now what's better than

sleeping with a hot girl?

Sleeping with many hot girls.

And I got that.

Now what's better than

sleeping with many hot girls?

Sleeping with many hot girls

and telling your friends about it.

I got that.

What's better than sleeping

with many hot girls,

telling your friends about it?

Sleeping with many hot girls

and telling the world about it

and having the world cheer you on.

So you get double validation.

Imagine how hyped you are,

say you go out tonight and you
sleep with a beautiful woman

like to tell your friends,

holy shit man, you know

what happened last night?

Imagine saying that in front

of rooms filled with people

and people are like, yeah,

throwing shit, you're the man.

There's no higher high.

Actually there is.

What's better than that?

Getting paid for it.

So you sleep with hot girls,

you get validation from the hot girls,

you get sex with hot girls,

you get validation from guys

and money from guys

because you're sleeping

and getting validation with these girls

and you're traveling around the world,

so you're seeing everything,

you're meeting amazing people,

you have awesome connections,

there is honestly nothing

to bitch about in your life.

I had everything I thought

would ever make me happy,

everything I ever thought

would complete me,

would make me fulfilled

yet I still felt shitty inside

and what really fucked

me was when I realized,
I can't think of anything
else that's missing,

I had it all.

And there's a famous saying

in the spiritual world,

the road to enlightenment, you could say

is paved with disillusionments.

The more disillusionments,

the more you realize it didn't work,

the closer you actually are to it.

So that's when I started

pushing things marketing wise,

everything exploded,

but that's the approach a denialist takes.

They focus on the external

hoping that this will affect the internal

but that doesn't work.

Why?

'Cause they confuse cause and effect.

This is at the cause,

it's not the external.

This affects this and this affects that.

This comes first.

There's that famous saying,

wherever you go, there you are.

You've heard that before right?

So on a surface layer,

if you always feel like shit,

it doesn't matter if I put

you in Hawaii on vacation,

you're gonna find a way

back to feeling like shit.
Doesn't matter where
you go or what happens.

Even if you're someone who's like,

you know what, it's money, money.

You want to know the one

thing money will give you?

More resources to escape

yourself, that's it.

You'll be able to drink more

expensive boos or champagne

instead of cheap ass CVS jugs of vodka

which I remember drinking

being very broke many years ago

like the shittiest vodka

and then you're like,

now I can buy expensive vodka in the club.

That's the only difference.

Instead of trying to escape yourself

going to a shitty thing on the weekend,

you can travel somewhere really cool

but you're still escaping yourself.

You just have more resources to do it.

That's the only difference with money.

So you gotta realize this

and the change is, instead

of focusing on the external,

you've got to come at this from

an inward focused approach,

not outward, inward.

You've got to start here.

The internal will affect the external.

Now I'll do a little exercise

and we'll dive even deeper here

just to illustrate this.

This exercise will not

change anything permanently

as a little heads up.

All that it's meant to do

is to give you some proof

of what I'm talking about.

So we're talking about that

core experience of you here.

When you change that

core experience of you,

you literally step into a

completely new experience

of the world and everything around you

and it's permanent.

But you can also see how this

works on an emotional level.

Where right now we're all sitting

in the same physical room

here in the seminar room

and you all feel differently.

We're all in the same physical world

but we're actually not in the same world,

we're in different realities here.

And right now if you look around your room

like okay I'm sitting here,

if you're someone whose

say very pissed off,

you're gonna be looking for reasons

to reinforce why you're pissed off.

You're like, is it a
little too hot in here,

a little too cold?

Oh, I don't know about,

where's the in field footage?

Shit like that,

you're gonna find ways to be pissed off.

If you're someone whose very afraid,

you might be very afraid

like oh, is he gonna ask me a question?

Is he gonna put me on the

spot like Gunther here?

What's going on?

That dictates your reality.

Those are different emotions

but this core state,

what it really feels to be you,

what it's always felt to

be you your entire life,

that colors your external experience.

So to illustrate this,

look at your external experience now.

You're in this room listening to my voice,

how you feel?

Now what we're gonna do

is we're gonna do a very

simple funny exercise

and once more, it's not permanent

but it will give you that proof

where in a moment,
you're all gonna stand up

and for 30 seconds, you're

just gonna jump up and down

and laugh as loud as you can, that's it.

Just jump up and loud

as you can in a moment.

Now, just the thought of this,

okay, and this is your ego speaking,

you probably don't want to do it.

Emotional addictions,

you want to stay feeling

whatever you're feeling.

But indulge me here

and actually do this exercise

and then look at the environment

around you after doing it.

You're in the same fucking room

at the same fucking event

but you will feel so different.

It's like, did I just

step into another world?

That's literally how it feels.

It's not permanent,

you're gonna snap back very fast

but it will give you a glimpse

of what the work I'm

talking about entails.

So everyone stand up on that note.

For 30 seconds, very simple,

just kind of surrender to this process.

Notice how you feel now,

look around the room,

you're like okay.

If there's any resistance inside,

I know if this were me back in the day,

I would've just sprinted out,

like I'm too cool for this,

like fully just do it.

Fuck it, try something new.

And then notice the reality you
step in after this exercise.

So as loud as you can,

screaming, jumping up and down,

not ruining the room,

three, two, one.

Let's go, come on, come on.

(audience yelling)

Even more, come on.

(audience yelling)

Yeah, give each other a hand, come on.

(audience applause)

And have a seat, have a seat, have a seat.

Now, look at how you feel now,

look at the environment.

Do you want to go back

to the previous reality?

It's very different, right?

You know it's not permanent

but you're like, holy shit,

like nothing changed out here.

You're sitting back where you

were exactly, nothing changed.

You changed something inside of you

and notice how the external changes.

Your experience of the world,

you stepped into a new reality.

It's temporary but that's

what you want to do

on a permanent level.

This is a glimpse of proof

that will hopefully help you
buy into this approach here,

an inside out approach.

You still have to act in the real world.

You can't just sit at home like,

oh, I'll just make myself

laugh in my house all the time,

like no.

But it starts here.

This is the first thing to realize.

Going deeper.

You also have the change the approach

with how you've attacked

that experience of you.

So you might realize okay it starts

with what's going on inside,

that's at the cause,

fuck this outward focus

denialist approach.

At the cause, I feel like shit.

You might even be honest here

like you know what I feel like shit,

everything's not good, I feel like shit.

I'm gonna, in that case,

work on making myself feel better.

But that doesn't work,

that is not the approach.

Why?

'Cause it keeps the original assumption

that you feel like shit alive.

Does this make sense?

You can't make yourself feel better

without originally feeling like shit.

So it's the same thing.

The feel like shit comes first

and it'll color whatever you do.

The only way to do this correctly

is to question this assumption,

do I feel like shit?

Perhaps instead, I actually

feel awesome inside.

Perhaps I'm whole, I'm

fulfilled, I'm complete

but I've bought into

some bullshit, some lies,

I'm hanging onto some beliefs

that have convinced me

that I feel like shit

and the approach is I'm making

myself reach this point,

it's letting go of all the

shit that's convinced me

that I'm down here.

You gotta change it.

Now if you want to go even deeper,

there's a third approach that people take

at an even lower paradigm

where they're like I feel like shit

and instead of trying to

make myself feel better,

you know what I'm gonna do,

make everyone else feel like shit as well

so we're all on the same level.

So that's where some people are at.

You then tend to go

through this phase here,
it's like optimize it and
then you question this

and you let go.

This is why I keep preaching letting go.

Question the assumption.

You can't become confident

'cause trying to be confident

tells you you're not

confident to begin with

and that it doesn't matter what you do,

you're still not gonna be

confident to begin with.

You can't become confident.

You can't become fulfilled.

You can't become whole.

You can't become enough

'cause if you have to do something

or get something or think

something or feel something

to become enough,

what does it tell you

that without that thing you're not enough

so you're not enough.

So question it, huh, if I am enough,

what have I bought into,

what am I hanging onto

that is telling me that I'm not enough?

And this brings us back to

that split that I talked about

in the beginning of this event here

and really think of it

like there are two worlds inside of you,

remember there's the acceptable
you, the unacceptable you.

You can view it as there's two worlds,

the conscious you here,

what you're thinking of

in the present moment,

but then there's this whole

world going on inside of you

and there's layers and

layers of resistance

to becoming aware of this

and this is an important

thing to understand,

just because you're

not aware of this world

doesn't mean that it isn't active.

And understanding this

explains so much in our lives

when it comes to self

sabotage for example,

doesn't that ever surprise you

like why do I keep fucking shit up for me?

Why do I keep being pulled back?

Why don't I want the best for myself?

'Cause that sure as hell

used to fuck with me.

I'm like, here I am trying

to do all these cool things

like what is it inside of me,

this enemy inside that keeps

trying to fuck shit up?

Or that pulls me back?

No?

Now what's the approach we take.

Okay, I self sabotage, what can

I do to fight self sabotage?

Keeping that assumption alive,

I self sabotage what can I do?

And you're gonna keep self sabotaging.

Instead it's where does

this fucking come from?

What is keeping it alive

and what can I do to let go of this shit?

And when it comes to self sabotage,

this explains the whole dynamic

where there is no such thing

as you fucking yourself over.

And this is important to understand,

everything you do it's

'cause you want to do it,

there's a certain pay off.

You would never consciously

or unconsciously fuck yourself over.

If you do something that fucks you over,

it could be because you're

avoiding a worse outcome.

So you know you're gonna suffer

but at least it's not gonna be super bad

but with these two worlds here,

if you take for example guilt,

okay here's an example,

I feel awesome, I'm not guilty,

I deserve great things consciously.

Down here, bullshit,

you know what you did.

You know what you did in the past

bullying your cousin, as an example.

Something you did,
something you didn't do,

something you feel guilty about,

you know what you did.

You deserve to be punished for that,

you deserve to suffer.

You don't deserve success.

If you get success,

you're not getting the

punishment you deserve.

So what do you do?

You fuck up all these good opportunities

to get the punishment you deserve.

There is a part of you you're not aware of

that wants the punishment.

So self sabotage, you're

getting exactly what you want.

However, you're not aware of

the part of you that wants it.

And when you become aware of it,

when you let go of that part of you,

that says you need to be punished,

you need to suffer,

now there's no self sabotage.

Now you don't have to find

techniques to fight against that pull.

There is no pull.

And there might be some things

you're conscious of right now.

You know what, Julien's right,

I did this in the past,

I did that in the past
but, and I'll discuss this next,

a lot of the things you

experience guilt or regret about,

for example, I need to be punished over,

you can't even become

aware of them right now

'cause there's layers

and layers of resistance

between these two worlds.

There is a reason you created this split.

At the time, you're like, you know what,

it's not beneficial for me

to focus on this, to be aware of this.

Disown it, put it in my shadow.

And the more time you

spend living your life

pretending it's not there, resisting it,

the more dread accumulates

around being aware of it and reowning it

similar to,

and you might've heard me

talk about this before,

if you go out tonight

and you spend a little too much money,

tomorrow you don't want

to check your bank account

to see exactly how much you spent.

You're like, "Fuck, you

know what, I fucked up,

"I'd rather just not know.

"If I don't look, I'm not broke."

Every day that passes,

the dread accumulates
'cause now you're still
spending, you're living

and you're trying to guess,

oh shit, I guess it's around there

but I really don't want

to see the exact number.

That's something external.

You do this with parts of who you are

your entire fucking life.

If there's so much dread around

checking your bank account,

how much dread you think there is

around being aware of the stuff you put

in the unacceptable
you, in the shadow you?

The next step is how

to make this conscious.

Okay, so you're following me so far.

Internal approach,

question the assumption,

it's not add more but let go,

let go of what?

The stuff that's in here.

Now the stuff that's in here

is buried under layers

and layers of resistance.

How do you become aware of

what you're not aware of?

You can't let go of something

you're not aware of.

So here you have to find techniques,

exercises, processes,

to bring this shit up.

I'll give you some of my favorite ones.

Following the times you're triggered,

being aware of the times you're triggered.

Okay, what does triggered mean?

Eckhart Tolle would call

this a pain body attack.

It's when something that

is in that other world

gets poked at

and starts coming a little

closer into your awareness.

That's being triggered.

And the way it'll manifest

is your response to a situation,

to a person, to a reality,

will not be proportionate to reality.

So let's just take, for example,

bunch of guys here going

up and saying hi to a girl.

Is that scary?

Yes, it's not necessarily comfortable,

you're saying hi to a stranger.

Is that life or death scary?

No.

But if we do a little
audit on our reactions

and this was me when I first started

going up and working on my dating life,

I literally felt like I

was jumping out of a plane

and I was gonna die.

Hey, go say hi to her.

Huuuuhhh.
That's not a good,

that's not a proportionate

response to reality, right?

You're not hanging onto the wall,

you're not trembling

about to shit your pants

'cause you're saying hi to someone.

What is realistically
the worst case scenario,

no thank you, nice to meet you.

So why the fuck are we so afraid?

Yet we never stop to ask ourselves this,

why am I so afraid?

We just assume it

and then we try to find ways to fight it.

Okay that's cool trying to fight it

but anything you do to try to fight it

keeps that fear alive.

So no wonder you never free yourself

from approach anxiety.

You'll see advanced people,

they still have approach anxiety.

They're just better at

fighting against it.

What about not having it?

So that is when you're triggered,

one example out of many.

Another is you could be

pissed off at someone,

like oh I'm over him,

I forgive that person

and then they do

something and you're like,
fuck that person,

totally overexaggerated.

It's like when something takes over

or when you go through a break up.

Is a break up fun?

It's weird you have to hesitate on that.

Everyone's like, "Hmm, it

depends on who broke up with,"

no, it's not fun at all.

There's a lot of grieving.

It's like there's a lot of shared history,

you're splitting up.

However, is it something

that should run you 10 to 20 years later?

No.

But why do we see it

all the time everywhere?

I'm sure you all know someone,

if you're younger, it might

even be a parent, an uncle,

a grandparent, a friend of a parent,

they still keep talking

about their divorce or that break up,

10, 20 years later.

They might even be married again

yet it still runs them.

No?

Is that a proportionate response?

Is that a good response to reality?

No, disproportionate.

That is when you're triggered.

Now in our society here,

we try to avoid being triggered.

We label triggered as bad.

Even in the mainstream,

in the PC, political correct world,

there are safe spaces to

avoid being triggered.

My view is change the approach.

I love being triggered.

Why?

'Cause when you're triggered,

as I mentioned before,

it's when something

that you're not aware of

comes a little closer up to the surface

and it's a lot easier

to be aware of it now

then when you're not triggered.

So triggers actually help you identify

some of the things that

are in that other world,

that unconscious world.

So you can use them to your advantage.

Now the key is not to

focus on what situation

or what person triggered you.

That's irrelevant.

It's shifting your focus

to what is triggered inside of me.

So let's just take, for example,

going up and saying hi to a girl.

Huh, I'm gonna die if I say hi to her.

Take your focus away from the girl.

Where did this come from?

When was perhaps another time I felt this?

When was perhaps the

first time I felt this?

And as an example,

I experienced this, I'm

sure a lot of you have too,

you're a kid in school

and people find out you like a girl.

How do they respond to this fact?

Are they friendly and encouraging

or do they tease you,

mock you and shame you?

Do you really have to think about this?

Is it only where I grew up

that people teased people?

Yeah, I remember I liked a girl

in my small little town in Switzerland.

Everyone found out

and I felt like my life was over,

I could just give up and die.

That's how it felt.

Everyone found it's like,

oh, Julien likes this girl,

Julien and this girl,

the whole class I'd be walking in,

I'd see whispers and giggles

and even the girls would talk about it,

they'd tell her, that was even worse.

It felt like the whole town fucking knew.

Now as a kid with a very

limited perception of the world,

what is the world for me?

This classroom.

There is no other countries

or other spots I could live.

As a fucking five, six year

old kid, what's my world?

This class.

There are no other people on Earth

except for this class.

If I'm shamed,

if I don't fit into this class,

I die.

It's not true but that's how I feel.

So when you're mocked like that,

although objectively
it's like, oh it's cute,

it's just kids making

fun, no hard feelings,

from my perception, I'm gonna die.

I'm about to be fucking

burned like a witch.

That's how I felt.

So what does your survival instinct say?

Disown this, hide this.

The part of you that likes a girl,

never show anyone again,

put it in the shadow you.

That's how you do it.

It's in those situations

where it's like life or fucking death.

And then you live your life.

You're in your adult life,

and now you're faced with a situation,

going to say hi to a girl

or you have to embody the

aspect of you that likes a girl

and that same life or death will kick in

and it'll be amplified

'cause there's the accumulated dread

over all these years of trying

to hide it and disown it.

That is a trigger

that is associated to a
past traumatic experience.

Now with trauma,

where you hear traumatic experience

is we always place the label

like going to war and getting

half your body blown off,

that's traumatic.

Yes it is.

But you know what else is traumatic?

Being teased as a kid for liking a girl.

You know what else is traumatic?

Being lost in a grocery store as a kid.

Why?

'Cause it's too overwhelming

for you to process.

You're a kid.

You have a different

perception as an adult.

It's so overwhelming, you disown

the experience completely.

You disown the part of you completely.

So anything can be traumatic.

We've all gone through

traumatic situations.

We've all had traumatic experiences.

Objectively, they could be super chill

like being lost in a fucking

grocery store, whatever.

Not for that kid,

not for that you at the time.

And you've disowned that.

It is part of you but you're

pretending like it's not

and that creates that split.

And when you're faced with situations

that kind of bring that

back up to the surface,

you're triggered, resistance

kicks in, panic kicks in

and we try to stuff it back down.

Now the skill, building

on what I just said,

is using this to your advantage,

is instead of stuffing them back down,

bring them up even more,

process them, let go of them.

So triggers are extremely helpful.

You can also reflect

back on your childhood,

that's another way,

where you really have to understand

how we are conditioned growing up

and there are three things

that you must be aware of
when it comes to social conditioning.

The first is when you're

born you come into a society.

It's not just you,

you're surrounded by a lot of people,

there are different rules,

guidelines, traditions

and there are rules and

guidelines, traditions,

not always good or beneficial

but if there were no rules, it'd be chaos.

So it's actually awesome

that there are rules and guidelines.

So that's number one.

Number two, your parents they have you

or whoever is raising you has you.

It's there responsibility and duty

to teach you those rules and guidelines

to survive in this world

and that's good too

'cause if they didn't,

you wouldn't know how to operate

and it would be a shit show

and you'd be fucked.

But the way they teach you those rules

is they reward you when you're good,

when you obey the rules,

and they punish you when you're bad.

That's just the way it's always been done,

it's the way we teach people.

That's the second thing.

The third is you're a kid,

your perception of the world is limited

and you depend on your parents to survive.

Put all these together

and this explains more of this split

or more of what you put in that world

that's out of your awareness.

I love this example.

You're out at a restaurant

and I have a memory,

well I was told of this situation as a kid

where I was at a restaurant,

a very nice upscale restaurant

and my parents got me a

kid burger or something

and I asked my mom really loud,

"Mom, is this dead

cow?", like really loud.

And all the tables are like,

"What the fuck?", that family like that.

That's just one funny example

but say you're sitting

there with your parents.

From your parent's perspective,

it's like okay, it's totally fine,

we're not pissed at the kid, totally fine

but we should still teach this kid

to be mindful of the
situation, of the context,

of the people around,

if they keep disrupting,

it's gonna affect their

lives in nonbeneficial ways.
So they might tell you,

"Hey, don't be so loud.

"Don't say that, be very quiet here,

"you're in a restaurant."

And they might even say it very chill

like the way I said it here.

The way you interpret it as a kid though

could be very different.

In your mind it could be

like they turn into demons

and they're yelling at you

and they're about to eat you alive.

They're like, "Don't fucking be loud."

You're like (gasps).

Now, they're teaching you a lesson.

From your perspective,

it's like oh shit, they don't love me now.

Disapproval, punishment equals no love.

Because I depend on them to survive

what does no love equal?

Death, abandonment and death.

So in your mind it could be like,

you're about to die right now

unless you're never loud again,

unless you disown the

part of you that is loud.

I'm not loud, that's not me.

Okay?

And then we also wonder

why we don't feel good enough, by the way.

You're taught unconditional love

but from our perception as kids,

we're only loved when

we're good, when we obey.

So immediately from the moment we're born,

we're taught that we're not good enough

'cause you make mistakes.

Okay, so we make this split

and it's important to acknowledge here too

that what's in your shadow

could be for example,

something horrible that happened to you,

like a traumatic experience.

But as I discussed before,

that traumatic experience

could also not be that bad,

being lost in a grocery store,

being teased for liking a girl.

The aspect of you that's in there

could also not be that bad.

We think, oh, it's all

the bad parts of humans.

No, it could be the

part of you that's loud.

And that's why here you are

and you might be someone who's

quiet, someone who's shy,

someone who's stifled,

and you're faced with a situation

where you have to speak up and be loud

and you fucking freeze.

And it's not like a voluntary freeze,

it's like something takes over.

That is why, linked to

a previous experience,

that's the cause,

that's what you have to process and reown.

So what's in your shadow

isn't necessarily bad.

It isn't something that

you must act on either

or express either.

All that it means,

and this is the process of transformation

is validating it,

acknowledging that it's a part of you,

facing fear's bluff if you will.

You think you're gonna die,

you think you're gonna die,

it's like opening that closet

where the monster's inside,

you're like oh my God,

the fucking monster,

and then realizing there is no monster.

That's how you do it.

But reflecting back on your childhood,

different experiences,

also how you were raised,

what was valued in your

family or at school

'cause this also applies

to say you're in school

and your teacher yells at you, "Shut up."

Okay, never be loud again

'cause they have authority,

they're the ruler of this

world that is the classroom.

But this will help you become aware

of some of the things that are down there.

Another thing you can do is have,

and this sounds a little weird,

a conversation with the shadow you.

Ask the shadow you what's down there?

Some questions you can ask, for example,

are why am I not good enough?

Now when you hear this,

immediately consciously you're like,

of course I'm good enough,

what the fuck are you talking about?

Or oh it's because of maybe

this thing but I'll fix it.

Don't answer it.

Repeat the question in

your head to yourself,

why am I not good enough?

And see what comes up.

I'm not saying you're not good enough

but I am saying that

there is a part of you,

a version of you,

a shadow you that does believe

that you're not good enough.

Ask it.

Why do I deserve to suffer?

Why do I deserve to be punished?

Ask the shadow you, see what it says.

And you might be surprised.

You're like, fuck I feel

awesome now, I'm totally over it

and you actually sit down,

you're like, why do I deserve to suffer?

You didn't do this thing.

You didn't jump at this

opportunity 15 years ago.

You weren't what your

mother wanted you to be.

Shit like that that just kind of comes up.

You never even really think about it

but as I said before,

just 'cause you're not aware of it

doesn't mean it's active.

That's going on in the background.

There are two little voices inside.

There's the conscious,

I'm here listening to Julien, fuck yeah

and in the background,

you're not good enough for

your mother, you piece of shit.

You're not aware of it but it's going on.

And you're like, why am I self sabotaging,

why don't I feel awesome right now?

Piece of shit, piece

of shit, piece of shit.

If you don't keep focusing externally,

this gets a little louder,

you piece of shit, your

mom should've aborted you,

you piece of shit.

Yeah, that's going on inside of us.

One of many examples.

Usually it's actually a lot worse

and it's many fucking things.

Become aware of it

to process it and let go of it.

Reflecting on yourself and your life

from the perspective of you being dead

and it's a meditation that

we're gonna do in a bit here

where you're all gonna lie down

and I'm gonna guide you through this

and you're going to imagine

that you just died right now.

Now this is something most

people don't want to do,

it's like, what imagine you died?

Yeah.

Why?

'Cause if you're dead

and you can actually buy into

this perspective of being dead

and then you reflect back on

your life, on who you are,

there is less resistance

between the two worlds.

You don't have to lie to

yourself as much anymore.

The reason you're lying to yourself

is you believe that if

this comes up, you die.

But if you're dead,

you can be a little bit more honest

with what's going on inside,

with what is running you,

with what you're hanging onto.

You don't have to keep the facade.

You don't have to keep

pretending, denying what's there.

And this can be extremely helpful.

This is something I personally do

every two, three weeks.

I have a recording at home

I listen to of my own voice

where I go through this meditation

and I see what comes up

and it always just recalibrates you

to some of the stuff that's down there,

some of the stuff you actually value,

you pretend you don't value,

that's also something that

causes a lot of suffering

where you want this,

this is what you value

but you live a life that's

not in alignment with that.

Become aware of when you escape yourself.

And this is something I

recommend writing down

and the reason I tell you to write it down

is if you don't write it down,

that's the first layer of resistance

'cause you keep it very vague.

You're like, oh I guess it's this.

Writing it down,

it forces you to be precise

and it makes it real

'cause it's right there in front of you.

But do an audit on your life

and write down some of your go-to ways

to escape yourself.

There might be some ones

that pop up right now

like smoking, drinking, drugs, weed, porn,

that's a huge one,

going on YouTube for hours.

I'm actually curious here,

who here, fully honest,

like it doesn't mean you always act on it

but like would say

they're addicted to porn, raise your hand,

like fapping, there's a whole no fap.

You might be practicing no fap

but you know if you stop,

you're gonna be right back in there, yeah.

What about addicted to YouTube,

spends a long time on YouTube

and you're like, fuck,

I spent too much time?

TV shows or movies

or like torrents or streaming and shit?

Alright, cool.

Some examples, anything

could be an escape.

Food, anyone overeat too much, yeah?

Or like when they're stressed, they eat?

Yeah.

Those are some things,

some ways you escape.

So write them down

and then you want to start catching them,

similar to when you're triggered.

It's like oh shit, I'm

about to do that thing

that I know I use as

a way to escape myself

or numb how I feel or medicate how I feel

or distract myself from how I feel.

And instead of doing that thing,

flip it around, be like,

what am I escaping?

Similar to a trigger,

what is being triggered?

And this may require

some time to practice.

At first, you're gonna be triggered,

you're gonna act on it

and you're only gonna

notice you're triggered

after the fact.

You're like, oh fuck, I was triggered.

Then, you're gonna catch it

while you're triggered

but the pull's gonna be too strong

and you're still gonna do the thing.

But then soon enough with

practice and awareness,

you'll be able to catch

it and dive right into it.

The same with escapism.

You're like, oh man,

I'm about to jack off,

I know it's my escapism, fuck

it, the pull's too strong.

But soon enough you'll be able to catch it

and dive into what it is you're escaping

which is linked to that split,

to that world that is

out of your awareness.

- [Male] What if it's a positive escape

like working or working out?

- Well that's actually subtle too.

It's never the thing

that's necessarily bad

like yeah, people use self

help as a way to escape,

reading as a way to escape,

things that actually have

a good impact on your life

but the drive behind it,

that's what you want to be aware of.

So if you know it's coming from,

oh shit, it's not like

I'm inspired to do it,

it's coming from desperation or need

like clasping like ooh,

that's what you want to become aware of.

So remember it's never the thing

it's the place it's coming from.

And then of course,

once you're aware of it,

you bring it up, you must let go of it.

That is the process,

that's what you must change.

Instead of chasing new
things externally focused,

internal, question the assumption,

instead of adding, it's letting go,

letting go of what?

That shadow, that split inside of you.

What is inside of there?

How does it come about?

Social conditioning, past

traumatic experiences,

there's layers of resistance

'cause you think you're gonna die.

Find ways to blast through those layers

to bring that up

and once up, let go

and when you let go, your

life will fucking change.

The way it'll change,

I'll illustrate this too

if you think of self sabotage

'cause it sounds very abstract

like it'll just change,

another great exercise

is write down your ceiling for success,

when it comes to health,

wealth, relationships.

What is your ceiling?

What does that mean?

How healthy do you deserve to be?

What is too good for you?

What do you keep being pulled back to?

If you pass this,

you'll always find a
way to be pulled back.

How much money do you deserve to have?

At what point is it too good for you

and you find your way just

subtly spending it or losing it

or making dumb decisions

and just being pulled back to this?

Relationships,

whether it's friends or romantic partners,

what do you deserve to be with?

Physically, internally,
emotionally, intellectually,

what is too good for you?

Another way of being

aware of the relationship

is around who are you stifled?

You ever notice if you talk to a woman

you feel like you're in the same league

or you're even out of her league,

you're not stifled?

Because it's under your

ceiling of what you deserve.

You're like, of course I deserve her

and shit just flows.

You don't run out of things to say,

you don't get nervous,

you don't get stuck in your head.

But then as soon as you talk to someone

you think is too good for

you, outside your league,

(gasps) you freeze.

Now what do we do?

You meet this girl that's
outside your league,

we try to find techniques to fight it,

to fight the ceiling,

to fight being stifled.

What about letting go

of this fucking ceiling

and just not being stifled

in the first place?

And that's what happens.

When you do this type of work

instead of going up and being stifled

and fighting against it,

you're just not stifled.

Any girl, it's just like,

of course I deserve her

and it just fucking flows,

things become a lot easier

and it translates into massive success.

The same with relationships.

It's like I don't deserve

a good relationship.

You're gonna start self

sabotaging that relationship.

I'm sure a lot of you have.

Like she's too good for me

and you're gonna create dumb arguments

or she might actually

do it and shit explodes.

You just can't let success land.

There's such a focus today on

trying to make success happen,

that's where all your effort goes

but can you actually let it happen?

'Cause what tends to happen

is consciously we're trying

to, we're pulling it in,

yet the other world is pushing it away,

unconsciously we're pushing it away.

And think of it like this on a small level

like a compliment.

If someone walks up to you

and say you're at a very, very low level,

you're just like, I suck, I suck

and someone's like, hey, nice shirt.

Your mind is not even gonna

register the compliment.

What are you gonna think?

This person is being sarcastic,

they're dissing my shirt,

fuck them, alright?

Okay?

Even acknowledging that

it was a compliment

is too good for you.

You can't let that land.

As you move up,

you'll realize it's a compliment

but then you'll push it away.

Nice shirt.

Oh this shirt, it's nothing,

fuck this shirt, whatever.

You still can't let it land.

And then as you move up, nice shirt.

Thank you.
That's just a compliment.

Think of different opportunities

or people in your life.

I'm sure there's a lot of people

and reflecting back now

I see it even in my past,

people going up and

similar to that compliment

offering amazing things for you

yet you block it off.

You can't even see it happen.

And then you start seeing it

and you still fuck it up.

That's the self sabotage you're aware of.

What about the self sabotage

you're not even aware of?

It's insane.

Okay.

So those are some

questions to ask yourself.

Another really good one too

is being aware of how

core beliefs work, okay,

and this is big.

I'm sure you've heard

of the different ways

we learn growing up.

There's first hand experience

and second hand experience.

It's as simple as that.

First hand is how do I know

that if I touch a stove,

I'm gonna be hurt?

You touch it, oh fuck,

never do that again.

Now you know, first hand experience.

Second hand experience,

you're gonna learn from someone else.

Now how do you filter what to believe

if you've not experienced it first hand?

You're gonna look at how confident

or certain they are in

what they're saying,

if they're congruent in
the way they're saying it

and how much authority they have

or how many people agree with them.

So if you've never heard someone clap,

and I tell you, hey, it makes this sound

but you've never heard someone clap,

you've never tried it,

you're gonna look like,

is he certain, like hey dude,

I think it makes a sound,

you're probably not gonna buy it.

But if I'm like, it makes

a sound, I'm full congruent

and you see a crowd of thousands

be like it makes a sound,

you'll be like, okay,

it makes a sound, check.

Okay, this is also why even if you,

if you reflect back to your childhood

a lot of those core beliefs

will come from your parents,

they have a lot of authority,

teachers, a lot of authority

and whatever the whole class
or whole school believes in

'cause it's the masses

and it also has a lot of authority.

So you're gonna form these core beliefs.

One example is if you look at your parents

for your relationship,

say your parents are divorced,

you might be like relationships,

love equals abandonment,

they're not together

or if they fight a lot, love equals drama

or if they don't really love each other

and they're just kind of like,

yeah, we're together for the kids,

and they're kind of friends,

love equals not much sex,

kind of distant, just flat.

You'll form this core belief.

You do this growing up.

As a kid, you come into this world,

you're trying to get

your bearings on life,

you're looking around,

form all the core beliefs,

and then from that premise

you start living your life

building all these new beliefs

and assumptions on top of it

like a whole tree.

Now, if you look at the

patterns in your life,

if it's not linked to past

trauma or self sabotage
or pushing success away,

it could be linked to
challenging a core belief.

If you look at your life

and you're like all my relationships

are people who cheat on me,

people who leave me,

people who are in relationships,

people who are not available for me,

long distance relationships,

that whole abandonment theme,

that's probably why.

If all your relationships

are massive chaos and fights

and you need that drama,

that's probably why.

Now, why don't you want

to question and let go

of this belief here, this core assumption?

'Cause if you do, if this is wrong,

what does it say about

everything that's built on it?

It's wrong too, everything crumbles

and you lose your bearings

and there's that same survival

instinct that kicks in.

So this is something to reflect on too

and can you let go of

your attachment to this?

And that'll change your

life completely as well.

Another great way of viewing core beliefs

or even self sabotage

is asking yourself,

what character are you?

If you think of the movies you watch

like what movie character

do you resonate with?

Who are you?

Not who you want to be, who are you?

I'm sure you've heard me

talk about this a lot.

I used to identify

with the self destructive artist big time.

In any movie, I'd always find

the character who was like,

oh, the more self destructive

kind of like could make it

but then just kind of destroys

shit for the sake of it,

that was me,

high drama, self destructive, 100% me.

That was my guilty pleasure.

Some other people it

might be, I'm James Bond.

Some other people it might

be like, I'm Spider Man.

Some other people, I'm Good Will Hunting,

the guy who has all

this untapped potential

that doesn't live up to it.

What is your character?

And if you write it down,

you're like okay, say

Spider Man, I'm Spider Man.

Ask yourself in what ways

could that limit you?
In what ways could this be

at the cause of some self sabotage?

If you're Spider Man and that's boom,

in your mind, I'm Spider Man,

what happens to Spider Man?

A spider bites him, an external force

and then he transforms

and becomes a superhero.

So here you might be in your life

waiting for that external thing to happen

before living the good life.

Holding back, waiting for that thing,

it's not me, I'm waiting for the spider.

If you're Good Will Hunting,

you're like I could have all

this potential if I took action

but you don't really want to take action

'cause then you're not

longer Good Will Hunting

with a potential.

If you're James Bond,

James Bond, always cool, James

Bond never makes mistakes.

You might not take risks

'cause you're afraid of making mistakes

'cause then you're no longer James Bond.

If you're self destructive,

you can't fully be healthy or successful

'cause then you're no

longer self destructive.

You can't have a good healthy relationship

'cause then you're no

longer self destructive.
Okay, so identifying that

will also kind of help

hmm, what's running me

and then even deeper than that,

it's like understand the

same way we're hooked

on core beliefs, core assumptions,

we're also hooked on you could call them

core states or core emotions.

So one thing most people

are hooked on is lack,

needing something.

And we read a book

and we kind of misinterpret it,

like there's different advice

for different people, different paradigms

but say you hear something like

if you want success, you

really gotta need success.

The more you need it,

the more successful you'll become.

However, that's not necessarily true

'cause if you spend so

much time needing success,

when I'm successful, when I'm successful,

you actually get hooked on that state

of when I'm successful.

Now can you be successful?

No 'cause then you have

to let go of this state

of when I'll be successful

and you're faced with the unknown again.

You let go of a part of you,

that state of when I'm successful.

Funny story, me growing up,

I would spend a lot of my

nights after school as a kid

listening to emo songs

or emo punk rock songs,

boy that likes a girl

and I'd think of all these

girls I had crushes on and shit

and like when I get the girl,

when I get the girl, my

life will be complete.

And there were many opportunities

where I could go say hi to

the girl or get the girl

but I never would

'cause there was probably that

fear linked to past trauma.

But then there was also that fear

of when I get her, I can't be emo anymore,

I'll lose that, my guilty pleasure.

We think we hate it,

feeling sorry for ourselves,

oh man, or like the drama and the fights,

like oh I hate this, do you?

What part of you likes it?

If you don't have this, who are you,

what are you gonna experience now?

If I got the girl, now what?

I'm gonna miss my little emo nights

listening to those
songs, needing the girl,
when I get the girl.

The same with I'm hustling,

I'm gonna be successful.

You don't want to be successful

'cause then you can't have

that same dream anymore,

that same state, when I'm successful.

So all these things

you have to become aware of them.

In your shadow is everything

that's too threatening

to be aware of it.

That's why you put it in the shadow.

It's like, if I'm aware of this,

my survival is fucked.

Even if you think of a

traumatic experience,

you're gonna read a great

book about this by the way

called Waking the Tiger

and he kind of talks

about how different animals

go through traumatic experiences too

and there's three things you'll do,

you'll either fight, run

or you can say freeze.

So say something
overwhelming happens to you,

something that's way too fucked

and there's nothing you can do,

you can't run away from it,

you just have to go through it.

You will dissociate from that.

You're gonna be like,
I'm not that experience.

You'll go to your happy place if you will,

that's not me, that never happened to me.

And then when it's done,

you come back to your life.

It happened to you

but you just said it didn't

and you created that

little friction, that split

and you feel less whole inside.

So it threatens,

it is actually too overwhelming

for you to experience then.

So the mechanism of being

like it didn't happen is good

but eventually when you

are able to process it,

you still have to process that.

But what we do

is we just keep it there forever, you know

and you'll see he talks about in the book,

you'll see animals go through it

and right after the experience,

you'll see their bodies shake it out

uncontrollably like that.

We never shake it out

and it just accumulates

throughout our lives.

And that book's great

'cause it gives a more

grounded explanation of it.

There's also some more

spiritual explanations
but that's a really good
one, Waking the Tiger,

it's Peter Levine.

Most of us, we're

triggered, it takes over,

and then we come back

and we're back to normal.

And whenever you're triggered,

it'll tend, like you'll

usually experience some shame,

some guilt, after the fact.

You're like, oh that was

disproportionate, that wasn't me.

But some people stay triggered.

They just live in a

state of being triggered

and then you could argue,

okay, is that really them

or is it what's being
triggered inside of them

that is running them,

that has taken over?

Are they possessed by

what is being triggered?

Or you could even argue

as I said before,

it's like we're all on fire

pretending we're not on fire,

even then you could say

you go to your happy place

like that's how we live our lives

if you really think about it.

We're on fire,

and the way we deal with it is like

we're like, I'm not on fire, happy place,

happy place, happy place,

everything is good, everything is fine

and then you live your life there

and every day that passes,

you keep reinforcing, I'm not on fire,

I'm not on fire, I'm not on fire.

Resistance to acknowledging
you're on fire.

Is that really you,

that escape from who you actually are?

No, not necessarily.

That's just some wacky thoughts.

But it also,

I love this example of being on fire

'cause it also explains that resistance

to first of all being aware

of the fact that you're on fire

and then processing it.

If you're so used to
being in this happy place

and this is what also fucks people

when it comes to transformation,

becoming aware of the

fact that you're on fire

is not pleasant.

And we're conditioned to believe

that transformation and

growth always feels good,

we're moving towards something better.

Here it feels like

you're moving backwards.
If you're in state of numbness,

escaping the fact you're on fire,

realizing you're on fire is horrible.

You're like, fuck, I'm burning.

But now that you realize you're burning,

you can do something about it,

you can put it out.

You can't put it out

if you don't realize you're on fire.

You can't get out of

this state of suffering

until you acknowledge the

fact that you're suffering.

You can't get out of hell

until you realize you're in hell.

So it feels like you're going

backwards but we're not.

And that's when people give up.

It's like, oh, it's too much,

oh no, no, no, no, back

to the happy place.

No, keep going through.

That's my, people ask me,

what's the one tip when

it comes to this work,

keep going.

It's not pleasant.

When you're bringing this shit up,

there are periods where you

feel so fucking vulnerable,

like so just naked,

you're just acknowledging

all these wounds,
it's like I have this cut here,

I don't have a cut, don't have a cut

and you're like, fuck I

have a cut, another cut,

my whole body's on fire, it's

burning, oh shit, feel it.

It's horrible.

And that pull to just go

back to that happy place

is so strong, resist it.

Keep going.

The only way out is through.

And what you'll also realize,

this is the other thing I'd say

is face fear's bluff,

you're actually not on fire.

That's the whole process of letting go

is letting go of all the shit

that's convinced you you're on fire.

Opening that closet,

there's a monster in the closet,

your whole life you've been believing it.

Opening that closet feels

like you're gonna die,

you're gonna die, you're gonna die,

it gets so bad it feels like you're dying,

oh shit, there's no monster, ah.

And now you're free from it.

Instead of living your

life running away from it,

you face it

and there's no longer

anything to run away from.

It no longer controls you

and then as you said,

you can actually realize

who you are authentically.

'Cause if you're run by all those things,

is your life authentic or

is it a life of escapism?

That's why a lot of us

are not happy either.

It's like we're doing all these things

that are not actually

us, it's not authentic.

We're pursuing a purpose

'cause we're escaping something else.

I'm sure you know the quote,

"If you don't have a plan for

yourself, someone else does."

Right now, your shadow has

a fucking plan for you,

past trauma has a plan for you.

Let go of it and discover your own plan.

Transformation is like
going through that shit

and also understanding that

true permanent transformation,

and this is another mind

fuck when you realize it,

it sneaks up on you

and it's subtle,

it's very hard to realize.

Why?

'Cause it seems like it's

always been that way.

And this is huge.

So when I first started
doing this type of work

and going through different

releases, meditations,

I'm like, nothing's happening.

But then if I look back,

a lot of shit was coming up

and I wasn't feeling good,

that was happening.

I'm like, externally, nothing's happening.

But it's only when I look

back three, six months,

I'm like whoa, that's how

I used to think back then,

that's how I used to react back then.

Oh shit, I used to push

away a lot of success,

look at me now.

Holy fuck, it seems like

I was always like this

but I wasn't.

That's how you know it's permanent.

And this is the thing to realize.

If it seems like you're

getting something that's better

and you're aware of it,

like oh I'm doing this

and I'm getting this,

it's not permanent

'cause you need to do this.

When it seems like it's

always been that way,

that's when it requires no effort

and that's when it is you.

Does this make sense?

And this even links back to

say social anxiety challenges,

going out and doing challenges

or putting yourself in
uncomfortable situations, amazing,

fucking amazing.

You'll desensitize
yourself to them, awesome.

But then as soon as you stop,

as I said, you revert back.

You know you need to keep

doing those challenges

to be desensitized

and we think that's

transformation, that's not.

That's temporary transformation.

True transformation

is doing those challenges

and while you're being desensitized

also asking yourself

what's being triggered,

what's being triggered?

Dive into that

and then you'll just realize

oh I guess there was a time

where that triggered me.

Oh fuck, I didn't realize that.

It sneaks up on you and it's subtle.

Never forget that.

When you become more familiar

with this type of work,

you're gonna walk out in the real world

and your perception of the
world changed completely.

Instead of seeing someone freaking out,

you're gonna see like

they're triggered right now,

oh this is running them,

oh that's where they're at.

You see, I'm sure you were shocked

even in terms of say social dynamics.

You start seeing subcommunications,

you're like, whoa.

This is the layer beneath that

and very few people see it.

Owen and I talk about it all the time,

the way we see the world

is so fucking crazy

versus how most people see them.

And you want to show everyone,

similar to social dynamics,

check this out, it'll change your life.

However, they need to be receptive to it

and they need to be ready

and this is unfortunately

something most people aren't ready for.

There's that saying,

"you can bring or lead a horse to water,

"you can't make it drink."

It's so true.

My advice to you

is bring as many fucking

horses to water as possible,
that's why I even
present this here for you

and then hopefully they drink

but if not, at least they know

where the fucking water is

when they're ready to drink.

And then if you're continuously

concerned with other people,

also flip it around

'cause it could be way to

escape doing the work for you.

Oh, I want to help other people.

Remember, outward focus is

like the denialist approach.

So present them, say with

the resources, the ideas,

even a breakdown like I just did here

and like please drink, please drink.

And then here's another wacky idea

similar to self sabotage,

you can think about it too

where some people are

just not ready for it,

like it's too good for them

at this moment in time,

they still need to suffer more

or pay back some kind of karmic debt.

You'll hear this in AA,

they told a friend of mine,

Evie, actually,

he was drinking a lot, this is awhile ago,

and he had a sponsor

and the sponsor was like,

just pray that he hits rock

bottom as fast as possible

'cause that's what creates

the opening for something new.

That's when you kind of pay

back a karmic debt in a way.

And you don't necessarily need this

but it's kind of wacky to think about,

if right now you're still receptive to it,

you're ready,

but it has to come from that person.

To do this type of work,

it's like you're fucking

diving into your personal hell

to face your personal demons

and realize that there are no demons

but it feels so fucking real

and it's the scariest shit you'll ever do.

We always think like

externally is scarier.

The external shit is a

joke compared to this.

I'm still going through it

but when I started going through it,

it was so insane.

You're literally crying like crazy

walking around with open wounds everywhere

shaking, having spasms,

I'm sure you've seen it at some of the,

if you've attended a live event with me

or if you've seen some YouTube videos,

you see people screaming

like they're on fucking fire

like they're in hell

during some of the meditations,

full spasms, falling to the ground,

almost throwing up,

people at home, I see in the testimonials,

throwing up and shit, it's horrible.

But you have a choice,

you can stop running away

from the fire and face it

and when there is no fire, now you're free

or when you let go of your

resistance to the fire,

now you're free,

or you can keep running

and running and running

and that's where the true suffering is.

Face fear's bluff, stop running.

We've tried everything.

If there was a way

to change the internal

through the external,

we would've done it.

Another great question

to ask yourself here

is if you had everything in the world,

all the money, all the things,

it's all yours right now,

would anything really change inside?

You might get a hit

but if nothing changes,

why are you seeking more?

Everything, whatever you

want, it's yours right now.
You can't get more 'cause you have it all,

all the money in the world is

yours, everything is yours.

Would something change?

And that really fucks with you,

you're like, no, I'd get the high

and I'd get bored so fast

and I would be right where I'm at

and I have everything.

Dive in.

And it's actually cool

'cause more people now,

there's still resistance

but more people are open to it.

When I launched Transformation Mastery

that's what shocked me,

I was like, man this is really out there,

I don't know if people are ready

and seeing so many people open for it,

like it gives you hope, it's crazy.

'Cause we are at that point

where it's like, with the

internet, with YouTube,

with traditional self help advice

which is very valid in a certain paradigm,

people are actually getting

a lot more of the things

they thought would fix them.

And more people are

realizing it didn't work.

'Cause if you're at the bottom,

it's like, I feel like shit,

I'll only be good when I have this.

If you never get it,

you can keep living your life that way.

But now that you get it,

you're one step closer to questioning it,

to diving deep.

For me what really helped too,

even if there's resistance

to this type of thinking

or work 'cause it's not pleasant,

is reflecting on what did

you actually accomplish

these past years working on yourself?

I would've had so much

resistance before the scandal

even acknowledging this type of shit.

You would've done this presentation,

I would've bene like, this

is pussy shit, for real,

that would be my reaction,

I'm like hustle it out

but if you actually sat me

down and put a gun to my head

and you're like, "Listen dude,

"did anything really change?"

And this is honest to God,

put a gun to your head right now,

imagine your parents will die if you lie,

did anything really change

in terms of how you feel

or is it still that same you

that's always felt that way?

Even from a young age,

just always felt like
you didn't fully belong,

never fully adequate,

a little different,

like things were a little harder for you,

you're looking around

like everyone has it so much easy,

what did I do to deserve this shit?

Is that still you?

'Cause if it's still there

'cause it was for me,

then what the fuck have you been doing?

And it kind of fucks with you.

It's like, I'm putting in all this hustle,

I'm going out, I'm

meeting all these women,

blasting through approach anxiety,

going like crazy but

what am I actually doing?

It's absolutely insane.

You're like, what the fuck?

We don't want to realize

it 'cause it fucks with us.

We're like, that means

I've been wasting my time

mentally masturbating?

Yes, you have.

You actually have.

But it's led you to this.

And you gotta realize that,

like okay I've been wasting my time,

get out of the happy place,

acknowledge the flames,

acknowledge the fucking fire.

You're on fire right now.

And if you might not realize it,

question that little voice,

like you're fine.

Are you really?

For real.

If there's no one to be cool in front of

and same with yourself,

that's what the whole death

thing did, are you really fine?

Or is there still something

that's eating you up inside?

So what you just saw here

is only a small fraction of

what you're going to learn

and experience in
Transformation Mastery Academy.

This program isn't like anything

you've seen from me before.

It has a completely new format

where you're not only watching videos

designed to rewire your brain for success

but I've also included different

transformational missions

and challenges that will force you

to internalize what you're learning

and make your transformation a guarantee.

So click the link here below right now,

head to transformationmasteryacademy.com

to begin your transformation.

I have so much I want to show you.

I've been working on this

for a very long time.

Welcome to Transformation Mastery Academy.