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Binyamin
02/01/2018
Friends

Friends is a very easy topic to talk about. There will be a few things that I will talk about
which includes the type of friends (how to choose them), if you really need friends, the effect of
friends and finally Loyal Friends.

Friends are like dangerous weapons; if you handle them/choose them carefully they will
benefit you, help you and guide you to the straight path. They will also worry for you and they
will not abandon you because of small useless problems/fights. If you do not handle
them/choose them carefully they will harm you and destroy you slowly but surely and they will
change you in a bad way in due time, while taking you off the one and only true path. Friends
are very important because they can either make you or break you. What I mean by friends can
make you is that if you haven good friends they will be the reason why you are coming to the
masjid, praying Quran, helping the poor and doing many more good deeds that will help you in
the hereafter and they will also help you with the problems in this world while guiding you to
the straight path. What I mean by friends can break you is that they will be the reason why you
don’t pray salat or the reason why you stop reading the Quran or doing your Daur and they will
be the reason why you start sinning and they will make you think that sinning isn’t that bad and
it doesn’t matter. This will be the cause of you being misguided. It is told in a hadith by Abu
Musa that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him said “Verily the parable of a good
friend and bad friend is only that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of must will
give you some perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a good smell. As for the
blacksmith, he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell. With this you can tell that
the good friends will leave a good smell behind (Good Habits) while the bad friend will leave
behind a bad smell (Bad Habits). From this we can learn that choosing your friends wisely and
carefully is quite important and that the good friends will benefit you while the bad ones will
not.

Now some people think that if they don’t have friends it’s not okay and that they need a
friend to live life no matter what, whether they are good or bad and this is wrong. Staying alone
and being lonely for some people is hard and scary so they do whatever they can to make
friends and they don’t care who they are and what they do and they don’t think about the
impact they will have on their lives. When people do this it usually ends up with them having
bad friends and relationships that never benefit and always harm them. In a hadith by Abu
Darda he says, “A righteous friend is better than loneliness, and loneliness is better than an evil
companion. A good speaker is better than silence, and silence is better than an evil speaker.”
From this we can interpret that having a good friend is better than having none and that having
no friends is better than having evil friends. Also if you have something good to say you should
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say it and if not you should just stay quiet, while this may be hard for many people nowadays
you can easily find out if the person is good or bad by their speech and attitude they have to
others in different situations. If people would only realize the truth spoken here and would act
upon what is being told than many people would be saved from sins and would live their lives
without starting new sins that they would have started if they had bad friends and they would
go on a search for a true righteous friends who wouldn’t guide them astray but instead guide
them to the straight path. This is what we should be looking for rather than searching for just
“friends.”

Next is the impact a friend will have on a person. The things your friends do are the
things that you will do. Reality is that your friends shape you with what you like, what you
dislike, what you want to do, where you want to go, what you want to do in life and the clothes
and people you hang around with. You’re technically a puppet to them that they control by
their actions and will. If they are smoking weed and you hang around them when they do it, you
will eventually smoke it too, if you have friends who have girlfriends you will eventually want
one too. Humans are created like that so you can’t stop it unless you break ties completely with
people like them and leave them in the dust. That’s the only way you can pave your own path,
and if you don’t want to, you will end up as a reflection of them, their dreams and everything
they do in their lives. This is why celebrities and music and stuff are dangerous. You think that
being rich, having nice cars, smoking weed, listening to music and doing all these other things
are things you “want” to do and that it was the “reason” you were born and that it is the only
way “people” will recognize you, but what about the one who created you, gave your life, gave
you a home, gave you loving parents and made you a Muslim. What about him? How could you
forget the one who created those celebrities, cars, houses and all of that which you dream of
having? How could you forget about him and think that your friends are more important than
the one and only Allah subahanahu watala. You have people like the Prophet Muhammed SAW,
Abubakr Radiallahu, Umar Radiallahu, Bilal Radiallahu and you look up to those useless
celebrities because your friends do it too. Don’t be a copycat, don’t be a mirror that’s showing a
reflection, be someone who can make a difference in this world and be yourself. Create your
own life and make true righteous friends that talk about those great sahaba’s and make friends
that strive to be like them. If you’re going to copy someone’s lifestyle make it the Prophet
Muhammed SAW may peace and blessings be upon him, because his lifestyle is the best
lifestyle no matter what anyone else may say. It is said in a hadith that “A man follows the
religion of his friends; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend”(Abu Dawud).
This goes back to the point I made before that you will do what your friends will and that
certainly includes religion, so be careful of who your friends are and just because they may be
Muslim may not mean they are practising or righteous so watch out for that also. In one more
hadith it is said “your best friend is the one who: seeing him reminds you of Allah, speaking to
him increases your knowledge and his actions remind you of the hereafter.”(Al-Muhasibi) The
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one and only true friendship that will help you in this world and the next is the friendship made
only for the sake of Allah and nothing else. Abu Hurayrah radiallahuanhu narrated that the
prophet Muhammad SAW said: “On the day of resurrection, Allah, the exalted, will say, ‘where
are those who have mutual love for the sake of my Glory? Today I shall shelter them in My
shade when there will be no shade except mine.” This proves that only certain relationships will
help you in the hereafter which is the friendship for the sake of Allah and every other
relationship is useless and it will not benefit you in the hereafter like this one.

Finally “Loyal friends.” No one is truly loyal if the reason for their friendship is other than
for Allah’s sake. These friends will find out your secret, share their own secrets and when one
small fight happens or maybe a big argument every single secret you’ve told them that will
harm you if others would find out, they will blurt it out as if it was nothing with no care at all for
your feeling and no care at all for the consequences in the future. The only thing they do care
about at that time and moment is that I have to expose this loser and tell everyone about what
he does so they laugh at him/make fun of him, instead of me. And this is how “Loyal friends”
are. If they don’t do it now they will do it eventually, only time will tell when and where they
do, do it. Also if you have a friend that backbites about many people don’t start laughing at
those things he’s telling you because he’s probably backbiting about you too, when you’re not
with him and all those secrets you’ve told him, Guess what? He’s not the only one that knows
them now. I’m not saying that don’t trust your friends at all and think of all of them as your
enemy but there is a limit as to how much and what you tell them. Some people are
backstabbers and don’t care about you, they may be nice in front of you and behind you their
planning something else. Friends can be pretty scary also, when their friends with you only to
use you. Trying to become someone’s friend because they have money or because their smart
and they will give you all the answers, at those times those are the friends you have to
recognize and make sure you don’t interact with them and try to break ties with them, but
these friends aren’t as dangerous as the ones who shape you and change you in a bad and
negative way, you can tell if the person isn’t good if they hang around with bad company when
your not there or by the way they talk and dress, also the way they try to call you into their
group of friends so they can use you are signs that you should just cut ties and go your own
path and leave them be. Also try to stay away from people that are controlling because those
people will be the ones that control you completely against your own will and will use you until
you are utterly hopeless. Lastly you shouldn’t care about the opinion of your friends/peers you
should do what you think is right and what you think will please Allah subahanahuwatala. Allah
doesn’t care about the opinions of others and what they think of you, even to your friends you
may be a horrible person because you never did something that was wrong that they wanted
you to do but due to you rejecting it Allah could be pleased with you and the only thing that
does really matter is that Allah is pleased with you not the people/friends. This also goes for the
opposite, which is the people may be pleased with you but Allah is not, so don’t think Allah is
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pleased with you just because the people of this world are. There is one last thing that I want to
share with you which is a verse of the Quran, Allah SWT reminds us by saying “And keep
yourself patient by being with those who call upon their lord in the morning and evening,
seeking his countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them. Desiring adornment of the
worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart we have made heedless of our remembrance
and who follows his desires and whose affair is ever[in] neglet” (Quran 18:28).

In the end only friends that guide you to the straight path, care for you and the friends
you have only for the sake of Allah are the best of friends. Also people who are negative, have
bad company and use you/don’t care for you are the type of friends/people you should stay
away from. Therefore good friends will help you in this life and the hereafter while bad friends
will not.