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Phubbing

 Speaking :
1) How many times a day/an hour do you check your cell phone?

2) Can you imagine a whole day without looking at your cell phone? Why?

3) What websites do you visit most often?

4) You are talking to someone and this person starts checking his cell phone at the same
time. How do you react?

5) Do you sometimes check your phone when you are with other people (at a restaurant,
having a snack or coffee with friends…)? If you do, can you say why?

6) Have you ever heard of FOMO or JOMO?

 Listening :
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2017/10/13/are-you-phubbing-right-
now-what-it-is-and-why-science-says-its-bad-for-your-relationships/?utm_term=.66592eed75ea
1) How is the word « phubbing » formed?

2) What adjective is used to qualify phubbing?

3) What is the usual reaction of someone who is being phubbed?

4) What can phubbing lead to, according to psychologists?

5) When was the word phubbing created? By who, and why?

6) When was the word accepted in the Oxford English dictionary?

7) What is the best cure for phubbing?

 Reading: Are you “phubbing” right now? …


l. 22 the core tenet: le principe fondamental
l. 23 to hold true: se vérifier
l. 23 regardless of: quel que soit…
l. 46 to err: se tromper
l. 55 the most minute: le moindre…
l. 69 to advocate for: préconiser, recommander

I. Using the context, translate the following expressions:


a) l. 5 to stare at something:
b) l. 10 overuse:
c) l. 12 to decrease:
d) l. 14 likelihood:
e) l. 29 to seek:
f) l. 33 to hinder:
g) l. 33 to foster:
h) l. 62 fulfillment:

II. Right or wrong? Justify with an expression or a sentence from the text.
1) Phubbing is relatively rare.
2) Phubbing can cause marital problems.
3) The presence of cell phones affects our feelings when we are with someone.
4) Internet addiction has nothing to do with heroin addiction.
5) Nowadays, people feel more and more lonely in spite of social media.
6) Women tolerate phubbing better than men.
7) The overuse of cell phones has no impact on our health.
III. Answer the following questions:
1) Why is phubbing a vicious circle, something that is not easy to stop?

2) What elements do we miss in a conversation if we are phubbing?

3) What feelings do we experience when we are phubbed?

4) How do phubbed people view the phone users?

5) Why do people usually phub others? You can use the answers from the text and add
your own.

IV. Translate l. 16 to l.24


Are you ‘phubbing’ right now? What it is and why
science says it’s bad for your relationships
by Emma Seppälä, October 13, 2017 for The Washington Post

“Phubbing” is the practice of snubbing others in favor of our mobile phones. We’ve all been there, as either
victim or perpetrator. We may no longer even notice when we’ve been phubbed (or are phubbing), it has
become such a normal part of life. However, research is revealing the profound impact this sort of snubbing can
have on our relationships and well-being.

There’s an irony here. When we’re staring at our phones, we’re often connecting with someone on social media
or through texting. Sometimes, we’re flipping through our pictures the way we once turned the pages of photo
albums, remembering moments with people we love. Unfortunately, however, this can severely disrupt our
actual, present-moment, in-person relationships, which also tend to be our most important ones.

In a study poignantly titled, “My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone,” Meredith David and
James Roberts suggest that overuse of our phones in the presence of others can lead to a decline in one of the
most important relationships we can have as an adult: the one with our life partner.

According to their study of 145 adults, phubbing decreases marital satisfaction, in part because it leads to
conflict over phone use. A follow-up study by Chinese scientists assessed 243 married adults with similar results:
Partner phubbing, because it was associated with lower marital satisfaction, contributed to greater likelihood
of depression.

This behavior also affects our casual friendships. Not surprisingly to anyone who has been phubbed, phone
users are generally seen as less polite and attentive. (…)The mind is wandering. We feel unheard, disrespected,
disregarded.

A set of studies actually showed that just having a phone out and present during a conversation (say, on the
table between you) interferes with your sense of connection to the other person, the feelings of closeness
experienced, and the quality of the conversation. Especially during meaningful conversations, you lose the
opportunity for true and authentic connection to another person, the core tenet of any friendship or
relationship. These findings hold true regardless of people’s age, ethnicity, gender, or mood. We feel more
empathy when smartphones are put away.

This makes sense. When we are on our phones, we are not looking at other people and not reading their facial
expressions. We don’t hear the nuances in their tone of voice or notice their body posture. So how do those
who are phubbed react to being ignored?

According to a study published in March of this year, they themselves start to turn to social media. Presumably,
they do so to seek inclusion. They may turn to their cell phone to distract themselves from the very painful
feelings of being socially neglected. We know from brain-imaging research that being excluded registers as
actual physical pain in the brain. People snubbed in favor of technology in turn become more likely to attach
themselves to their phones in unhealthy ways, thereby increasing their own feelings of stress and depression.

“It is ironic that cell phones, originally designed as a communication tool, may actually hinder rather than foster
interpersonal connectedness,” write David and Roberts in their study “Phubbed and Alone.” Their results
suggest the creation of a vicious circle: A phubbed individual turns to social media and their compulsive behavior
presumably leads them to phub others — perpetuating and normalizing the practice and problem of
“phubbing.”
Why do people get into the phubbing habit in the first place? Not surprisingly, fear of missing out and lack of
self-control predict phubbing. However, the most important predictor is addiction — to social media, to the
phone and to the Internet. Internet addiction has similar brain correlates to physiological forms like addiction
to heroin and other recreational drugs. The impact of this addiction is particularly worrisome for children whose
brain and social skills are still under development.

Consider this: The urge to check social media is stronger than the urge for sex, according to research by Chicago
University’s Wilhelm Hoffman. In some ways, these findings come as no surprise. We are profoundly social
people for whom connection and a sense of belonging are crucial for health and happiness. (In fact, the lack
thereof is worse for you than smoking, high blood pressure, and obesity.) So, we err sometimes. We look for
connection on social media at the cost of face-to-face opportunities for true intimacy.

Awareness is the only solution. Know that what drives you and others is to connect and to belong. While you
may not be able to control the behavior of others, you yourself have opportunities to model something
different.

Research by Barbara Fredrickson, beautifully described in her book Love 2.0, suggests that intimacy happens in
micro-moments: talking over breakfast, the exchange with the UPS guy, the smile of a child. The key is to be
present and mindful. A revealing study showed that we are happiest when we are present, no matter what we
are doing. Can we be present with the person in front of us right now, no matter who it is?

The most essential and intimate form of connection is eye contact. Posture and the most minute facial
expressions (the tightening of our lips, the crow’s feet of smiling eyes, upturned eyebrows in sympathy or
apology) communicate more than our words.

Most importantly, they are at the root of empathy — the ability to sense what another person is feeling—which
is so critical to authentic human connection. True connection thrives on presence, openness, observation,
compassion, and, as Brené Brown has so beautifully shared in her TED talk and her bestselling book “Daring
Greatly,” vulnerability. It takes courage to connect with another person authentically, yet it is also the key to
fulfillment.

What if someone in your presence snubs you for their phone? Patience and compassion are key here.
Understand that the person is probably not doing it with malicious intent, but rather is following an impulse
(sometimes irresistible) to connect. Just like you or I, their goal is not to exclude. To the contrary, they are
looking for a feeling of inclusion. After all, a telling sociological study shows that loneliness is rising at an alarming
rate in our society.

What’s more, age and gender play a role in people’s reactions to this behavior. According to studies, older
participants and women advocate for more restricted phone use in most social situations. Men differ from
women in that they viewed phone calls as more appropriate in virtually all environments including intimate
settings. Similarly, in classrooms, male students find phubbing far less disturbing than their female
counterparts.

Perhaps even worse than disconnecting from others, however, Internet addiction and phubbing disconnect us
from ourselves. Plunged into a virtual world, we hunch over a screen, strain our eyes unnecessarily, and tune
out completely from our own needs — for sleep, exercise, even food.

So, the next time you’re with another human and you feel tempted to pull out your phone — stop. Put it away.
Look them in the eyes, and listen to what they have to say.

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