Our topic will focus on the couple (husband and wife) that is recognized by God.

We have studied that a kind wife comes from God. Let us read Proverbs 18:22—

”Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtained favor of the Lord.”

Therefore, a man who found a wife has found a good thing and received a favor.
Thus, a wife is a favor from God and is a good thing. What kind of woman? Does
this mean all? Let us read Proverbs 19:14—

”House and riches are the inheritance of fathers; and a prudent wife is from the
Lord.”

A prudent woman or wife comes from God. We have learned already how a wife
can be a woman of God.

Let us now analyze: If there is a commandment for a woman to submit herself to

a man, to what kind of man she will submit herself to and why? Why is it that a
man should govern over a woman? What does this mean in the Bible? Let us
therefore analyze…

What kind of man does a woman should submit herself to if she wanted to be
saved? In Ephesians 5:23 and I Corinthian 11:3, the Bible says—

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
Church: and he is the savior of the body.”

And so if a woman should submit herself to a man, who is he who has the right
over the woman to be saved? Clearly said, he is the man who is like Christ. Is
there a man who is the opposite of Christ? Of course there are, not just one. There
are men just like what Christ has said in John 8:44—

“Ye are of your father, the devil…”

There are men who are sons of the devil. It is written in the Bible. Would you
think Pastor Billy of Binangonan, Rizal who raped his four daughters, is of God?
Although he is a pastor, would you say he is a man of God, raping her daughters
since they were three years old? Clearly, this is a strong proof that there are men
who are not of God.

In a religion, if you want to be saved you have to look for good, because good
things nowadays are very rare. They are not so common. What are common and
majority is the opposite of what is good – oppressors, misled people, unrighteous,
swindler, liars, they proliferate in the society nowadays.

If we speak of a man, who in particular is a man to whom a woman of God should

submit herself? He should be like Christ. Who is he? In I Corinthians 11:3—
”But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ: and the head
of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

The relationship between a husband and wife is depicted in this verse. God is the
head of Christ. The head of the man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the
man. You will notice the authority – the ladder of authority, there is the first,
second, third and so on. Emphatically, this is one important thing. There is a level
of command in the authority of the Christian faith. Thus, God heads the ladder
next is Christ, then man over the woman.

Who is the man who has the right to rule over the woman? Of course, he is the
man who has Christ as his head. But if a man doesn’t have Christ as his head,
what kind of a man is he? Let us read Isaiah 63:19—

“We are thine: thou never barest rule over them; they were not called by thy
name.”

In the prophecy, there are people who seemed they have never been ruled. What
kind of people are they? In Isaiah 59:11—

”We roar all like bears, and mourn, soar like doves, we look for judgment, but
there is none; for salvation but it is far off from us”.

They are the people who are far off from salvation, from judgment, people who
seemed they have never been ruled ever since. Well, in the Catholic Chant
(Pasyon) it says—

“Sapagkat pastor kang tunay

nitong mundong kabilugan
Ang obehang sinupaman
kung di masok sa bakuran
Ay di mo masasakupan...”

This chant is read every Lenten Season. This is a well-known chant. In some,
there are even drunkards beside the place of chanting. In the last two lines,
clearly it says that if a man doesn’t enter God’s jurisdiction then he is not under
God. Therefore, there really is a man to whom God rules and there is a man who
is not headed by God.

If you’re a woman of God and you would like to get married, you should have
your president or head. You should look for a man who is also of God because if
you chose a man who is like a beast, you will suffer. You might turn from being a
woman of good to an evil one. This is not impossible since Eve and Adam, in the
beginning were of God but have been by evil.

And so, if you are a woman, you should not give in easily to man especially if he is
a drunkard or an alcoholic. You should choose a God-fearing individual. It is
difficult to change a drunkard. In religion, experience proved that one difficult
man to change is a drunkard. There are ways to change and to withdraw but it is
very difficult. Why? Smokers could change easily. Cigarettes are nonsense. But an
alcoholic—lung problem, the doctor has advised to stop drinking but still…even if
he doesn’t have money anymore, he still makes way to the worst of engaging into
so much debt just to sustain his vice. What is more devilish, a gambler or a
drunkard? A gambler sometimes robs if he doesn’t have a capital. An alcoholic
kills if he is already drunk. This is to prove that there really are men who are not
of God. And pity to a woman who is ruled by these kinds of men. God’s plan
should be followed. The track of salvation has God as head, followed by Christ
over the man, who then rules over the woman. This is the authority to be followed
for us to be saved.

Between husband and wife, the man is the head and the woman is the subject. If
we used this doctrine as basis, is it allowed that a man be “under de saya” or ruled
by a woman? No. You are reciprocating God’s natural plan. God wanted Adam to
rule over Eve, not the other way around.

When Eve followed her own understanding, Adam was absent and so the devil
deceived her. She didn’t even wait for Adam before she decided. She didn’t even
consulted Adam, her head. She didn’t let Adam rule over him so she was deceived
by the devil, and later on, even Adam was carried to commit the same sin.

We can notice the defects happening to mankind nowadays and so God has
placed doctrines in the Bible so that the union between man and woman would
succeed.

It might be unacceptable for some but the worst thing in life is marriage. If one
would look for a “hell-like” life it is marriage. They say when you get married
you’ll be at last “settled down” and in peace. It is neither settling down nor
peaceful as you think. In time of misunderstanding, when the two quarrel, there
are a lot of shouting, punching, and man hitting the woman, throwing of kitchen
utensils even plates and glasses…a common scenario. How kind a man would be
if the woman is bad, he will be influenced and so with the woman, how kind she
may be but with a brutish man, she too might be the same as her husband. Let us
read Proverbs 22:24-25—

”Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shall not
go; Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”

God doesn’t want you to befriend a furious man, more so, to marry such kind.
That is why, unfortunately if you have married that kind of man, God said in
Proverbs 21:9—

”It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman in
a wide house.”
Why? You surely will be in the midst of a battlefield or in the middle of a furious
war. Much better for you to climb a mountain just like what is said in Proverbs
21:19…

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry
woman.”

Marriage is very important in the eyes of God. And so God has placed rules to
govern the husband and the wife for them not to suffer. Most people who will end
up into hell are married than those unmarried. Let us read I Corinthians 7:32-35
—

”But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the
things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is
married careth for the things that are for the world, how he may please his
wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried
woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and
in spirit….”

If married, notice how the body figure changed. Even her point of view changed,
sometimes her thoughts becomes lusty and so with men. In II Peter 2:14—

”Having eyes full of adultery…”

If man and woman have experienced sex, their eyes sometimes become lusty.
Unlike children, when we see them play even if they are undressed, it doesn’t
matter to them. But according to I Corinthians 7:32-35, unmarried men and
women have clear, unpolluted minds.

As husband and wives, we have seen the truth in the Bible so let us take good care
of it. The man should be the head and the woman, the subject. Why? What
relationship does God wants to establish between husbands and wives? Are there
circumstances that man should really be the ruling authority or is it what the
present family code declares – that man and woman had equal rights? At present,
there is this option for a woman to use her maiden surname rather than her
spouse’s surname. Especially so, in other countries, man and woman have equal
rights. But in the Christian faith, Christ taught us how God wanted the man and
the woman, who are not blood-related, treat and relate with each other. Husband
and wife are not blood related. They have not known each other for a long time
until such time they met and felt the love at first sight.

You should not hurry to get married. There are couples who had premature
relationship which ended so soon because the foundation is not strong. Not even
knowing each other’s family background if the other has a blood history of having
contagious diseases like Hepatitis A, B, C, or criminal cases, or AIDS, or insanity.
Precisely, you have to examine first the background of the person you want to be
with for the rest of your life.

Think of it. Your parents have cared for you during your childhood years, even
until you become fully an adult. They had spent so much money for your
necessities – food, education, clothing, shelter. This man, whom you wanted to
get marry didn’t even contributed, not a single peso for your needs. Now, after so
many years, here he comes and ask for you to marry him, not knowing that after
he gets what he wanted, he’ll force you to wash the laundry, cook, serve him and
the worst, he’ll make you a punching bag. It is heartening for parents to see their
long-cared child treated like that of a person whom they didn’t know and a
brutish beast!

Same with a man, after your parents raised you in a well-cared environment, you
just end your life living with a traitor, adulterer. You have spent so many years
lifting heavy and large blocks of cemented bricks in a construction site in the
Middle East while she have bought a mattress from the money you’re sending
sleep there with somebody else. Very unfortunate!

Therefore we should know the ways of God on how husbands and wives should
relate with each other. What relationship does God wanted to establish between
husband and wife? Why is there a commandment for a man, for a woman? What
is that commandment? What does God mean in this relationship of a man and a
woman who are not blood related?

Let us read Ephesians 5:30-32—

”For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause
shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
the two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ
and the Church.”

Saint Paul is speaking of a mystery. Christ and the Church have a relationship.
Christ is the head and the Church his body. Let us read further Ephesians 1:22-
23—

“And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all
things to the Church, Which is his body, the fullness of him that filleth all in all.”

The Church, the group of the faithful, the group of believers, is described as the
body and Christ as its head. In fact, in Colossians 1:18—

”And he is the head of the body, the Church…”

God had joined Christ and the church to form a new man. Why God is creating a
new man? It is because the first man God had made was a failure. Adam
transgressed. Therefore, by the power of God, He is now creating a new man. Let
us read Ephesians 2:14—
”For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the
middle wall of partition between us; having abolished in his flesh the enmity,
even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself
of twain one new man, so making peace.”

Have you noticed what is referred to as Corpus Christi? Body of Christ. It is a

congregation of people, of faithful – the body of Christ and Christ as the head.
When united, God had created a new man.

The union of husband and wife is associated with the union of Christ and the
Church. Do you know that in a couple, God is creating an entity, a new
institution, a new man? So the union of husband and wife, if the purpose of God
was not understood, it is a failure. You should be united as one in Christ. How?
The man and the woman will work as one, with the same and definite goal and
purpose in life.

Naturally, men and women are different individual. If we count the ways of man,
one plus one is equal to two (1+1=2). Why one? Because, God is creating a new
man through Christ and the Church, wherein, the union of man and woman is
patterned. Through this, God is creating a new man with his commandments.

So, if asked, are you and your wife together as one? If you contradict with each
other in most of the ways, it’s unsuccessful. If you enter into marriage, make sure
that you subject yourselves to each other. If you don’t eat a certain food during
your bachelor years, and that certain food is your wife’s favorite, learn to accept
and eat it. If you want to be saved and reach the kingdom of God in heaven, this is
one message for all of the married couples, that the husband and wife is an entity.
Nobody can separate you from each other. You are one. Let us read Matthew
19:5-6—

”And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to
his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain,
but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
asunder.”

Are there any means to separate you if God had united you? None. Impossible.
For the identity will die. If the husband and wife are separated, it is like
beheading a man separating the head from its body. You are beheading the entity,
the person. Even in the law of man, it is recognized, only authorities never
explain them. Sometimes, the wife could sign in behalf of the husband and the
husband could sign in behalf of the wife. And it can be legal. And so, sometimes if
they decided to separate, there is what they call conjugal property which should
be divided equally because the two of them must be one.

Marriage is a sensitive case. But the usual scenario, the priest tied them in
matrimony and if the relationship failed, the same priest would advice them and
give his blessings of separation. The Bible says, whatever God had joined
together, let no man put asunder. Anyone should not destroy what God had put
together.

Marriage is a sensitive case. But the usual scenario, the priest tied them in
matrimony and if the relationship failed, the same priest would advice them and
give his blessings of separation. The Bible says, whatever God had joined
together, let no man put asunder. Anyone should not destroy what God had put
together.

Then there will be the tying of “knot”, they have read a knot in the Bible and
interpreted it literally. But what is really the knot in its true meaning in the Bible?
In Romans 7:2—

“For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so
long as he liveth…”

The knot in the Bible which binds the woman and the man is the law – the
binding tie between the couple. Once bound by that law, you should not be
separated.

Nowadays, divorce and legal separation are rampant in the society. So before you
enter into marriage think about it first. (”Can I take his body odor or his bad
breath?”) You have to spy on him first at times when he has work and all sweat,
find out if he has skin diseases, so if it turned you off at least you’re not yet
committed. Once the priest said “Do you accept…” and you said you “do”, you
really have to “do” because you will disappoint God the next time, the third time,
the fourth. He had made a man and it failed so he is now creating a new entity in
life. The union on the man and the woman will strengthen the life He is giving
which will be instrument of procreation. An entity that will produce love, care,
nurture, they will represent the caretakers of God for the next generation. If
marriage won’t remain intact, many will suffer. There are couples who produced
18, 20, 24 children. Where will you place them? Truly those couples really love
each other because if not, they will not produce that many.

Nowadays, a couple separates so soon, they have not even yet bear a child,
because they do not understand each other. The Bible’s pronouncement …
whatever God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

So young ladies and gentlemen, if you really want to be saved, think of it because
you cannot go out of marriage anymore. To love and to cherish, in sickness and in
health, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, till death do us part. Marriage
is the career which retirement is – death. You can sign your letter of retirement
only when you’re dead. You cannot retire before it happen. It is good to see an old
couple walking hand in hand who are so sweet with each other. I hope they’ll be
saved. Those who have persisted poverty, whosoever is sick they’re still together,
the other is abroad and the other half remains faithful – it is hard for a woman to
do that especially if the man is not around her to comfort, same with the man. I
hope couples like them will be saved. They have understood the purpose of God
why He had joined them.

So let us study how these two will remain together as one. What should be done?
Here’s one. In I Corinthians 7:3—

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence…”

The breadwinner usually is the husband. To whom does he give his salary? To his
wife. Of course, the woman cooks your food, washes your clothes, caresses your
tired body, gives you comfort and relaxation, it is your wife. Usually she serves as
your “shock absorber”, a house maid, and then when you received your salary you
will give to your mother? That’s not what the Bible conforms with. What is in the
Bible…the husband should render his wife what is due to her…The woman should
look for it just like a bird, when he is in the process of courting, he prepares a
nest. So before you woe, prepare first a home or at least money to rent a house.

Youth sometime stow away. (“How much do you have?” “Just this for
transportation.”) How will you survive? You promised not to let her wash the
laundry, not to cook…but it’s true for you have nothing to wash because you only
have two pairs of clothe and nothing to cook! So be careful especially the young.
Think about it first.

I advice the young to put marriage last among your list of priorities. Firstly, a
child has responsibilities to his parents. It is not because you’re already an adult
that you disobey your parents. In Ephesians 6:1-3—

“Children, obey your parents to the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and
mother; which is the first commandment with promise. That it may be well with
thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth…”

Before you get married, remember you still have responsibilities first to God and
to your parents. First things first. You must know your priorities in life being a
Christian. The child has responsibilities to his parents as well as the parents have
responsibilities to their child.

Let us go back to marriage, in I Corinthians 7:3-4—

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the
wife unto the husband. The wife hath no power of her own body; and likewise
also the husband hath no power of his body, but his wife.”

If you marry, you lost control of your being. It is your husband who holds power
of your body. Your husband is your owner. Your hands and his hands all of you
are his and all of him are yours. So if he likes to kiss you, you cannot resist. If he
likes you to scratch his itchy back, you must follow.
Now, you have undergone the so called sacrament of matrimony. Have you heard
your priest teaching you these things? You should remember, in marriage, the
man has no power in his body but the wife, and the wife has no power in her body
but the husband. When you think of nature, man and woman is equal. And so
God said… “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”
(Mat. 19:6).

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.” (Mat 19.5) It is not said that
one flesh and still one spirit. They are not joined in one spirit. There are
instance that the two cannot be joined together. There are times that the man is
more powerful than the woman.

On material example, the father is called “padre de familia”. Whose name the
child carries with? It’s the husbands’. Some countries now equalized the status
and rights of men and women. In the Bible, I Timothy 2:11—

“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I offer not a woman to
teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence…”

There are instances that the woman cannot be the decision maker or professor of
the husband. The president is the man and so you are one in flesh. You have
rights to each other. But in major decisions in life regarding your relationship
with each other, with your parents, lawyers, in-laws, your siblings, it is the man
should be the first as breadwinner, where to live, what to buy or invest in…

In marriage, couple will share all, left and right, up and down, there surely will be
many problems. If in small things, like TV, colored or black/white, there are just
small things but if they both do not know the law of God, they will end to worst
sometimes leading to death.

If you will not learn, your marriage will be hell. So if you want a marriage that is
contented, happy, fruitful, peaceful, holy? God has commandment to both
husband and wife. The first when it comes to flesh: “Let the husband render unto
the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” The
husband will give his salary to the wife, in return the wife will do the household
chores—wash your clothes, cook your food, do the household chores for you.

The couple should render to each other what is due. Just like what the preacher
said, “let us love one another…” He never explained what love it should be.
Everything should be explained in detail. So if the Bible says… “Let the husband
render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the
husband…” What are these dues? We will continue on our next discussion.