You are on page 1of 12

MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

Effective Listening

Expressing our wants, feelings, thoughts, and opinions clearly and


effectively is only half of the communication process. The other half is
listening and understanding what others communicate to us.

While listening has always been important, today proactive listening is


imperative for organizations and individuals to succeed. Proactive
listening is conscious and deliberate. It requires heightened sense of
awareness to gain valuable information.

As we prepare to listen we are sometimes faced with challenges. It


can be challenging to listen when you are friends, when you think
alike, or with your co-workers, because each of us is different, with
different life experiences, family history, cultural background and
perceptions.

Purpose

This course will help you enhance your ability to listen more effectively
without making assumptions or expectations about how a conversation
should go.

This course will break down the components necessary to be a good


listener, and also provide techniques for managing conversations.

Learning Objectives

At the completion of this course, you will be able to:

• Determine your own listening pitfalls.


• Recognize the keys to effective listening.
• Identify some tips to listen more effectively.

Effective Listening
-2-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do
more listening than talking.
-Bernard
Baruch
Time Spent Communicating

Listening

Speaking

Reading

Writing

*** According to the 1996 study by the Dynamics of Human Behavior,


a nationally recognized organization specializing in the improvement of
communication whose clients include IBM, GTE and DuPont.

Hearing vs. Listening

Hearing is an auditory function of the ear

 Physical process
 Natural
 Passive
Listening is understanding what you have heard

 Physical, mental and active process


 Learned process
 A skill
Effective Listening
-3-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

Communication Types

What percentage would you say you communicate by …?

10% 35% 55%

______________________ Body Language

______________________ Tone of Voice

______________________ Words

Communication Cues that Contribute to Effective Listening


Verbal Vocal
Visual

Verbal Cues

Think before you speak

Avoid Hot Button Words

Choose to Use the Most Important Words

One - _________________________

Two - _________________________

Three - ________________________

Vocal Cues

Effective Listening
-4-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

Rate of Speech
____________________________________________________________________
_

Vocal Cues Pitch


____________________________________________________________________
_

Volume
____________________________________________________________________
_

Tone
____________________________________________________________________
_
Visual Cues

Facial Expressions
____________________________________________________________________
_

Head Movements
____________________________________________________________________
_

Gestures
____________________________________________________________________
_

Spatial Relationships
____________________________________________________________________
_

Attire
____________________________________________________________________
_

Sources of Difficulty by the Speaker

• Voice volume too low to be heard.

• Making the message too complex.

• Getting lost, forgetting your point or the purpose of the


interaction.
Effective Listening
-5-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

• Body language or nonverbal elements contradicting or interfering


with the verbal message.

• Paying too much attention to how the other person is taking the
message.

• Using a very unique code or unconventional method for


delivering the message.

Sources of Difficulty by the Listener

• Being preoccupied and not listening.

• Being so interested in what you have to say that you listen mainly
to find an opening to get the floor.

• Formulating and listening to your own rebuttal while the speaker is

talking.

• Only listening to your own personal beliefs about what is being said.

• Evaluating and making judgments about the speaker or the

message.

• Not asking for clarification when you know that you do not

understand.

Effective Listening
-6-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

Determine Your Goal for Listening

 To exchange information
 To build a working relationship
 To feel good
 To make someone else feel good

***Effective listeners are fully conscious of making a decision each


time they decide to talk or let someone else talk.

Why be a good listener?

 To be recognized and remembered


 To feel valued
 To feel appreciated
 To feel respected
 To feel understood
 To feel comfortable about a want or need

Listening Pitfalls

Read the list of pitfalls and place a check mark in the box next to any of your personal
pitfalls

 I approach important listening situations without clearing my mind.


 I engage in other activities while I am listening.
 I assume I know what others will say and tune out as a result.
 I finish sentences for others when they stumble or pause.
 I form a rebuttal in my mind while others are talking.
 I ignore nonverbal cues such as voice, tone, posture, and pace.
Effective Listening
-7-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

 I listen for specific facts rather than broad ideas.


 I fidget when people speak to slowly.
 I daydream when others are talking.
 I use the same response repeatedly (“right” “uh-huh”) in place of
listening.
 I use body language that does not encourage body language.
Pitfalls

Internal Distractions
• Memories of earlier conversations or meetings
• Expectations
• Attitude
• Values
• Prejudice/ Bias
• Past experiences

External Distractions
• Room Temperature
• Outside noises
• Telephones
• Interruptions
• Flip Charts/ Hand-outs

4 Steps to Active Listening

1. Listen . . .
 To feelings as well as words, emotions and implications
 Focus on the speaker – don’t plan, speak, or get distracted
 What is the speaker talking about?
 Look at speaker
 Use verbal and non-verbal encouragers

2. Question . . .
Effective Listening
-8-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

 3 Purposes
 Demonstrates you are listening
 Gather information
 Clarification

 Open-ended
 Tell me more
 How did you feel?
 What happened?

3. Reflect - Paraphrase
 Reflect what is said (in your words)
 Reflect feelings
 Reframe
 Capture the essence of the communication
 Remove negative framing
 Move toward problem solving

4. Agree
 Get the speakers consent to your reframing
 Speaker has been heard and knows it
 Solution is near

Three types of responses in active listening

 Ask good questions


 Paraphrase
 Empathize

Tips for Effective Listening

 Take notes to verify the information that you have written down;
after the meeting compare your notes with someone else.

 Frequently ask yourself - “Did I understand what was said?”

 If unsure… ask questions, for clarification, not confrontation.

 Never interrupt or dispute a point while someone is talking. Avoid


turning the focus of the conversation onto you.

 Take a moment to stop talking and listen


Effective Listening
-9-
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

 Show you want to listen

 Show attentiveness and interest

 Be comfortable as a listener

 Put the speaker at ease

 Lean forward, make eye contact

 Be patient, allow time

 Ignore distractions

Skills Practice

Listening Activity

You and a partner can practice effective listening on one another.


Practice with these suggested topics.

How I feel about:


• My life today.
• All the good things that have happened to me.
• My future
• Showing love to those closest to me

Round One: Use the techniques listed below to show your interest.

Show Interest:
 Focus on the speaker
 Openly tell the speaker that you are interested,
and why
 Use nonverbal cues for rapport
 Use short verbal cues to encourage
communication
 Avoid interrupting the speaker

***Check the techniques you used from the list above.


Effective Listening
- 10 -
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

***Give your partner feedback on how well they did.

Round Two: Use the techniques listed below to clarify, gather


information, and focus the conversation.

Ask Questions:
 Use open-ended questions
 Limit closed-ended questions
Self-Rating: On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), rate yourself on how
well you:

____ Used open-ended questions


____ Limited your use of closed-ended questions

***Provide feedback to your partner.

Round 3: Use the techniques listed below to let the speaker know
what you understand.

Understand:
 Restate in your own words what you have heard
 If the speaker does not agree with your restatement, try again
until you have a match
 Acknowledge the speaker’s emotions

Self-Rating: On a scale from 1 (low) to 10 (high), rate yourself on how


well you:

_____ Restated what you heard


_____ Acknowledged the speaker’s emotions

***Provide feedback to your partner

Effective Listening
- 11 -
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

Summary

Expressing our wants, feelings, thoughts and opinions clearly and


effectively is only half of the communication process needed for
interpersonal effectiveness. The other half is listening and
understanding what others communicate to us.

"We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is
twice as hard as talking."

People who are skilled at listening are concerned with two


tasks:

1. They must hear and understand what the speaker is saying,


making sure that they are not hearing more than the speaker is
saying.
2. They must encourage the speaker to continue to communicate.

The following are suggestions for improving listening skills:

1. Create an environment for listening. Turn away from the computer


and remove files or papers from your hands. Minimize the possibility
of interference.

2. Give your full attention. Face the person you are speaking with,
maintain eye contact and respond when appropriate.

3. Refrain from offering advice or criticisms that stops the other


person’s expression.

4. Avoid use of "Why?" Ask "how," "what," "where," or "when"


questions. Ask questions to increase understanding but never to fix
blame.

5. Check in occasionally to see if you are understanding. Use


phrases/questions like: "I understand you to be saying...," "Are you
saying...," or "I am understanding that you think..."

6. Listen for feelings behind the words. Be aware of the other person’s
feelings. Accept those feelings even if you are in disagreement.
Failure to be aware of feelings behind the words is often a major
hindrance to understanding.

Effective Listening
- 12 -
MCG - Human Resources Training and Education

***Drs. Genie and Preston Dyer - The Dyers teach in the sociology
department at Baylor University. ©5/27/2004

Resources

 Achieve Global
 Business Listening.com
 International Listening Association (ILA) – http://listen.org
 HighGain, Inc. – http://highgain.com

Effective Listening
- 13 -

You might also like