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12/31/2010 Addictions & Answers: 'I'm ashamed of…

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EDIT ORS' PICKS

Addictions & Answers: 'I'm Hamster? Gerbil? No, it's


Snooki inside that ball!
ashamed of my addiction to Reality TV 'star' practices for
tonight's ball drop (love the
porn' plastic cup, Snooks!)

ADDICTIONS & ANSWERS Visit our new


Happy Stinkin' New Y ear: T ravel Section!
Friday, December 24th 2010, 10:06 AM
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Russell Brand likely in t he


doghouse for t weeting
THIS pic
The funnyman posted this photo Read your favorite comic
of wife Katy Perry with no make- on the Daily News.
up on and quickly deleted it.

What is she 'do-ing?!


Kardashian sports braids
Reality TV starlet is
photographed wearing tight
cornrows. VOTE: Hot or not?

The most notorious


Twitt er moment s of 2010
Demi Moore tweeting of pics
herself in a bikini was a
milestone in stupidity.

Tripplaar/Sipa Press Mom, daughter accused of


molesting same teen boy
BILL: "I have a beautiful wife and three daughters," writes Anson, "and active in my for 3 y ears
church. I'm ashamed of my addiction to porn, but can't stop or get enough." Trying to Police say the pair did it without
understand Anson myself, I turned to the noted anthropologist, Dr. Helen Fisher, author knowing about each other’s
of 'Why Him? Why Her?.' relationship with him.

DR. DAVE: Did you ask why it's so overwhelmingly a male obsession?

BILL: "Men tend to be more visual during sex and courtship," she said, "for good reason. BEST OF NYDN.COM
For millions of years men had to LOOK at a woman to see if she could bear him healthy
babies. So even today, men respond to visual signals of health, youth and beauty more
John Mellencamp & wife
dramatically than women do. This is why women spend so much time dressing for men;
split after 18 y ears
their visual signals of health and beauty activate pleasure centers in the male brain."
The Grammy-winning singer, 59,
DR.DAVE: Her point being that the biology of evolution doesn't care about human and former supermodel Elaine
happiness or ideas of morality. While it shaped both male and female genome to look for Irwin have two sons.
what we call attachment love, the male appears to be far more hard-wired for lust.
Forget Four Loko! Booze-
BILL: The faithless Darwinian bastards who did the deed most often and widely left the
infused chocolat e milk
most descendents – including you and me?
updates kid classic
DR. DAVE: Dr. Fisher's work parallels new findings in neurochemistry, particularly Adult Chocolate Milk mixes
focused on the 3% of mammals, humans included, who often live a monogamous traditional chocolate milk with
lifestyle with much more attachment and romantic love than lust. 40-proof vodka.

BILL: But in the other 97%, the male focus is on getting it wherever and whenever he Spicy ! Man say s 'lewd act'
can? Is there a difference in the brain chemistry? due to itch from Tabasco
sauce on groin
DR. DAVE: Romantic and lustful partnerships both provide good doses of Dopamine Man arrested for indecent
during sexual arousal. The difference starts when the sex drive kicks in. The lust-driven exposure on airplane after teen
person gets increases in Serotonin and Opiods. girl complains.

BILL: In fact, haven't I read that in romantic love, the level of serotonin is markedly lower
than normal?

nydailynews.com/…/2010-12-24_addic… 1/3
12/31/2010 Addictions & Answers: 'I'm ashamed of…
DR. DAVE: In alcoholism, there is a mixture of both genetics and how much you drink. In The Jets' scandal-plagued
sex addiction too, there are genetic brain chemical differences amplified by how YEAR IN REVIEW
frequently you engage in non-specific partner lust. Porn is the most obvious path to that Sexual harassment, a DUI for a
type of sex and, as we noted, men are more prone to that visual path. star player, a coach tripping an
opponent...
BILL: So, there really is an addictive process of genetics and brain chemistry behind
Anson's obsession with porn?
New X-rated pics allegedly
DR DAVE: The fact that he is ashamed, suffers and wants to stop but can't are classic. of Rex Ry an's wife hit web
For more details, readers can go to a website that describes the work of Dr. Fisher and
Just when Rex Ryan thought he
others published as early as 2004.
was back on solid footing, it
appears that another shoe has
BILL: And if someone like Anson wants to kick the habit, the treatment you'd recommend dropped.
is--?
Sainz harassment shows
DR. DAVE: The addict needs a community of fellow sufferers who understand his shame,
Gang Green's true colors
denial and delusion. The one 12 Step fellowship that stands out is Sex and Love Addicts
Anonymous. Mexican television reporter was
subjected to crude behavior from
BILL: ..and for professional therapy, where would you send Anson? a number of Jets players.

DR. DAVE: There are good rehab centers, particularly Pine Grove—the one chosen by
And t hen t here's the
Tiger Woods. Unfortunately, the cost is steep. The good news is that Director Pat Carnes
Sterger 'sexting' story
of Pine Grove, has put many of his treatment tools online at: gentlepath.com.
NFL fines Brett Favre $50k for
BILL: So if our reader has a therapist that he trusts, Step One would be to get involved not cooperating with probe into
with the SLAA fellowship, using their treatment tools as a therapeutic guide? X-rated photos sent to TV host.

DR. DAVE: Anson could always start with Carnes screening test on that website:
screening test. Gone, but not forgotten:
Those we lost in 2010
BILL: And, to be chauvinistic for a moment, is there a separate screening instrument for a IN MEMORIAM - Remembering
wife wondering if her lover is caught up addictive lust rather than the rose-strewn path to the iconic personalities who
romantic love she thought they'd both signed up for? passed away this year.

DR. DAVE: Yes, there is—at the same link. And PS, Bill?
The most outrageous
BILL: Yes? moment s of 2010
PHOTOS: Smoking babies,
DR. DAVE: That sarcasm is a symptom too. bedbugs and Katy Perry flashing
Elmo... what a year!

Dr. David Moore is a licensed psychologist and chemical dependency professional who is
a graduate school faculty memb er at Argosy University's Seattle Campus. Bill Manville is
a Book of the Month novelist; his most recent work of non-fiction, "Cool, Hip & Sob er," is MORE FROM DR. DAVID MOORE
availab le at online b ookstores. Bill also teaches "Writing To Get Pub lished" for Temple AND BILL MANVILLE
University and at writers.com.
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