Presently, Dr.

Gecas is teaching courses in Social

Why do some people choose arranged Psychology and Family Sociology. He joined the

marriage instead of love marriage? This question faculty of Purdue University since 2003 as

kept clouding my mind until now. When I was Department Head and Professor of Sociology.

fifteen years old, my sister got married with a Along the journey of his career, Dr. Gecas has

man chosen by my parents. Since then, I used to published two books and over sixty journal

think that arranged marriage is a good choice. articles. Most of his research and writing deal with

However, after a year, my sister’s marriage ended socialization in family particularly with regard to

up with a divorce and the development and expression of self

disappointment. This makes me and identities within parent-child,

wonder, will arranged marriages marital and sibling relationships.

lead to unhappy marriages? Why Although he never had a chance to do a

do some people choose arranged research on arranged marriage, he had

marriage instead of love marriage? taught this topic in his class. So, with all

To answer my questions, I did his knowledge in this particular field, Dr

Figure 1: Dr Gecas with his
some research about this topic. beloved family's photo. Gecas believes that arranged marriages
Moreover, I had interviewed one of the and love marriages have both positive and
professors from Department of Sociology in negative sides. He believes that arranged
Purdue University, Professor Victor Gecas. marriages are more stable than love marriage,
guarantee to get a mate, and lead to perpetual
Professor Victor Gecas is a very credible
happiness compared to love marriages. However,
person in the field of family and marriage.

ENGL 106i Magazine 2010

 he also claims that arranged marriages can lead to overview, Dr Gecas continued his explanation by
hard feeling and broken heart.
briefly giving the difference between arranged

marriages and love marriages.

Early in the interview, Dr Gecas

“Arranged marriage is marrying with

explained the history of the practice of arranged
people you never know while love marriage is
marriages. He emphasizes that in Europe, early
marrying with people that you fall in love,” he
20th century, arranged marriages occurred in all
stopped his words and thought. Then he
upper class families. For them, marriages were
continued his point of view by stating that,
used for political and economic alliances. They
arranged marriage is a marriage that does not
tended to use a marriage as a medium to build a
require any consent from the bride and groom
diplomatic relationship with other upper class
while love marriage need full approval from both
families. Dr Gecas also claims that families could
bride and groom.
take an advantage on the adult children to secure

the families’ status by arranging a marriage of the

According to Dr Gecas, arranged
adult children with appropriate person. Dr Gecas

smiled and quickly gave me an example “...for marriage and love marriage has its own

instance, they send their children to the good advantages and disadvantages. I asked him what

schools to meet good people.” Meanwhile, Dr are the differences in the effects of both

Gecas insists that for lower class people, no marriages and he calmly answered me, “Arranged

arranged marriage was practiced. This is because marriage is more stable than love marriage.”

they had less wealth and their marriages were Suddenly, he stood up and walked toward his

only based on table. I saw he grabbed some pieces of paper on

emotional his table. When he came back to his seat, he

reason, which started his point. On a piece of paper that he

was love. After showed to me, I could see a result from a

this historical research. He states that most research on

Figure 2: Love marriage is marrying

people you know.
ENGL 106i Magazine 2010
marriage development in the United States show start to develop and finally, happiness and love

that the high point in marriage is in the beginning will remain forever. Dr Gecas also stated that,

which is during the honeymoon and then just “Contradict to arranged marriages, the love

goes down in terms of love and happiness. Dr marriage has nothing to do with developing the

Gecas added, “If the main reason love at the beginning.” He

of marriage and for keeping the “If the main reason of confidently claimed that,
marriage and for keeping
marriage is love, that’s not really the marriage is love, when a couple gets

a solid reason because love is that’s not really a solid married based on love,
reason because love is
going to decline,” Due to that, they will work with high
going to decline,”
the couple might end up with expectation on the spouse.
Dr Gecas
suffering and divorce. But if the When some of their

main reason is economic or dreams fail to materialize

political, the marriage is much more stable. As in after marriage, there is little likelihood that their

arranged marriages, love is not the priority so this relationship will and a great danger of failure.

makes the marriage to be more stable unless it is Furthermore, Dr Gecas believes that when the

just a horrible match. expectation is lower, then the couple will work to

know each other. During this process, love will be

Likewise, arranged marriage also can developed and the marriages will succeed. Mutual

understanding also
lead to perpetual
develops as their
happiness. Dr Gecas
relationship matures. As
concedes that arranged
Barnett R. Brickner states
marriages will begin with
“Success in marriage
sadness. Nevertheless,
does not come merely
within few years, love will
through finding the right
Figure 3: Ring is the symbol of love.

ENGL 106i Magazine 2010

mate, but through being the right mate.” This status in the future. Due to that, they all are busy

shows that Brickner agrees that a successful and have no time to find a mate. Dr Gecas also

marriage is based on adjusting yourself with your added, fifteen to sixteen years ago, in the United

partner instead of expecting to have a perfect States, the status of women were lower than

partner. now. Just a few of them have own career while

the others just stayed at home. That is why, it was

Suddenly, Dr Gecas smiled and spoke, easy to find a mate by yourself in fifteen years ago

but not now. Indirectly, Dr Gecas thinks that

“The obvious benefit of arranged marriage that I
arranged marriage is more practical nowadays
can say is you are guaranteed to get a mate
compared to love marriage. He supported
whether you like or not
his point based on his experience as a
because it had been
father for five children. His youngest
arranged,” He complains that
daughter is 29 years old and has a
it is difficult to find a mate
good career. However, she still does
nowadays especially in the
not get married. This does not
United States because the
mean that she is not eager to a
average age of marriage is
marriage but she is too busy with
increasing year by year. According
her work so she has no time to find a
Figure 4: Romeo and Juliet
to the source that Dr Gecas showed to me, mate.

the average marriage age of women in this Then, Dr Gecas continued his point. “You
country has increased from 23 to 27 in 2003 while may have broken heart in arranged marriage
for men from 25 to 29 (Dr Phil Foundation, 2009) especially when you’d fallen for another guy.” said

This is due to the job prospect as many Dr Gecas while he is holding a copy of DVD in his

countries are rapidly developing. Women and hand. The DVD’s title is Romeo and Juliet. Dr

men are tending to struggle to ensure their stable Gecas continued his sentences by saying that love

is blind and we might fall for anybody. Suddenly,

ENGL 106i Magazine 2010

our parents arranged somebody else for us. This asked Dr Gecas about why the statistic of divorce

will lead to hard feeling. Dr Gecas claims that this of the country that practiced arranged marriages

situation had happened in Romeo and Juliet love is the lowest. Dr Gecas insists that this is because

story. In the story, the arranged marriages are more stable than

parents of Juliet are love marriages. Another fact is, in

arranging a spouse for her. most countries that do not practice

Due to that, Juliet feels very arranged marriages, they are

sad and is willing to run practicing ‘no fault divorce’. Dr Gecas

away with Romeo. defined, “No fault divorces mean that

Therefore, Dr Gecas you don’t blame anybody to get

emphasizes that this is the bad Figure 5: Arranged marriage can divorce.” He also stated that California
lead to perpetual happiness.

side of arranged marriages. was the first state practiced no fault divorce

Moreover, he implies that at the beginning of and at that time, the divorce rate in California

arranged marriages, disappointment does happen radically increased.

and sometimes the amount of romance is less

than in love marriages. From Dr Gecas’s example, After thirty minutes conversation, the
I can see that Dr Gecas is a very dedicated and
interview comes to the end. As a conclusion, Dr
organized person as he already prepared some
Gecas confidently concluded that arranged
materials to support his points and also as
marriages are not bad practice. “If I were be given
additional information for me.
a chance to choose, I will choose love marriage for

Before ending the interview, I asked Dr myself but for my children, I will choose arranged

Gecas’s opinion on does arranged marriages marriage.” said Dr Gecas with a smile on his face.

violate human right. Dr Gecas quickly replied, “No He explained that when somebody is in love, they

it does not. Practicing arranged marriage does not will marry for romantic love, sex and feelings.

violate human right but prohibiting arranged However as a parent, he will not think about that

marriage does violate human right.” Then, I also but instead think about his children’s future life.

ENGL 106i Magazine 2010

This shows that Dr Gecas is a loving man because

along the interview, he used examples and

opinions from his own experiences as a father. In

addition, at the end of the interview, he gave me

a few copies from his books so that I can use it in

the future.

Throughout this interview, I earned a lot

of credible information about the good and bad

effects of arranged marriages compared to love

marriages. Now, people can know that arranged

marriages are more stable than love marriage,

guarantee to get a mate, and lead to perpetual

happiness compared to love marriage. However,

arranged marriage can lead to hard feeling and

broken heart. Overall, Dr Gecas provided very

clear explanations for both advantages and

disadvantages of arranged marriages compared to

love marriages. He also used historical evidence,

statistic, research results and experiences to

strengthen his opinion. Indeed, many people will

be convinced to agree with all Dr Gecas’s

evidences.

ENGL 106i Magazine 2010