You are on page 1of 11
 
INTRODUCTION
I think most of us have a hard time wrapping our heads, much more our hearts, around how much God loves us. For years I found it hard
to receive love, to believe that I was loveable. I more easily felt that I
 was defective, awkward, unworthy, that I didnt quite measure up. God’s
extravagant and unrelenting love made sense for others but not for me. Several things have changed that perception over time: contemplating the gospel and Jesus’ love for us expressed in his sacrifice on the cross;
the reliable love of other people; and, surprisingly, the experience of
being a father.
The love I experience as a father is different from any other kind
of love. It’s not something you fall into or grow into. It just shows up,
overwhelms, and
 
changes everything. It brings out the best in you by
making you long for what is best for your child. It challenges selfishness by
putting you in a position to serve, to set aside convenience. It’s this crazy thing that makes you willing to die for someone you hardly know.The day Ciara was born began such a journey. Almost four years ago, we were contacted by an adoption attorney and talked a number of times by phone with a young woman who was eighteen, pregnant,
and already had two children, one of whom was in foster care. We made
a commitment and began four months of waiting. Several months passed and one day we got the call. The biological mother was to
 
10
Love Written in Stone 
be induced the next day, so Carole and I flew to Tulsa. When it was time for the delivery, we were not allowed to be in the room, but the
months of waiting and the love and attachment produced in us the same feelings of excitement and concern we felt at the birth of our
biological children.But there were complications. When Ciara arrived she was in respi-ratory distress and rushed past us to the ICU. We waited anxiously for hours at the windows of the unit. Prematurity, a heart defect, and other issues meant she required a ventilator. As potential adoptive parents we
had no status, and information was hard to come by. Finally we were allowed to see her. Carole and I sat on each side of her. There it was.
That love. The same love that showed up with our other children. That crazy kind of love.For the first few days she showed little improvement. On day four  we had the added concern of a hearing in court in which a judge would make a key decision based on feedback from the biological mother that
 would determine the course of the adoption. We knew better than to
think this was just a routine process. We had been through a failed adop-
tion a year earlier. We were there for Aaron’s birth, named him, fed him, took care of him from the day he was born. Five weeks later he left our home. The biological mother told us she needed him back because she needed the child support. We were crushed. As we waited to hear from the social worker on the court decision about Ciara, her situation suddenly worsened. She was transferred to a
nearby medical center by helicopter and we waited there in a small waiting
room. We were told that it could be hours before we would be able to see her. Eight hours passed with no news. Meanwhile, the court hearing had been hours earlier, but we still hadn’t heard from the social worker. Those hours of waiting were some of the most emotionally challenging hours of our lives.Ciara’s nurse finally emerged from the unit, letting us know that she  was stable, but that we would not be able to see her until the next day.

Reward Your Curiosity

Everything you want to read.
Anytime. Anywhere. Any device.
No Commitment. Cancel anytime.
576648e32a3d8b82ca71961b7a986505