Professional Documents
Culture Documents
transformational change he or she must be aware of how they personally act and react when
confronted with life situations. Mentoring is not merely an educational process where
appropriate behavior in order to influence others for the good. Therefore, we will discuss two
themes in this paper: what is EI and of what importance is EI in the mentoring relationship.
Emotional intelligence is broken down into four components by Mayer and Salovey
and defined as, “the ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to
assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate
Mayer and Cobb define EI as, “the capacity to process emotional information accurately and
efficiently, including the capacity to perceive, assimilate, understand and manage emotion,”
(cited in Hawkey, 2006). Others define EI in different terms but all of the definitions seem to
relationship management, ("Resonant Leader Is One In Tune With Himself, Others," 2005).
purposes of this paper, borrow from Daniel Goleman’s definition, “the ability to be aware of
and to handle one’s emotions in varying situations,” (cited in Kobe, Reither-Lamon &
Rickers, 2001). This definition seems broad enough to encompass most other definitions yet
Mentors must be cognizant of how they interact with people in a variety of settings.
If, for example, the mentor struggles to communicate in social settings or is unable to control
emotional outbursts when a colleague disagrees there is a need for the mentor to uncover the
causes of these shortcomings. In other words the mentor hones his or her skill by a process of
self-evaluation but is also willing to solicit the evaluations of others. This process is critical
because of the imperative that good leaders must be able to interact with followers (Kobe,
Reither-Lamon & Rickers 2001). The mentor thus has the responsibility to be a person who
seeks to improve self and then improve others. As Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck
of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye,”
(Matthew 7:3)? A prerequisite to mentoring then is the ability to be aware of who are you are
Mentoring is, at its core, leadership and leadership is essentially an emotional process
(Ashkanasy, 2003) but it also has a large social element. The mentor understands that what he
or she is doing has effect on both the emotional and social character of those they lead. Many
in Hawkey, 2006) and thus disregard the influence emotions have on mentoring. Others
downplay the social aspect of the mentoring relationship. However, neither of these areas can
be separated if the goal of the mentor is to produce well-rounded individuals. The mentor
then employs tools within his or her own life that directly challenges them to examine their
The ability to, “be aware of and to handle one’s emotions in varying situations,”
(cited in Kobe, Reither-Lamon & Rickers, 2001) comes then from a concerted effort on
behalf of the mentor to grow socially and emotionally. If then we apply ourselves to growth
personally we may very well have the privilege of empowering others to make forward
progress with their lives. As the Apostle Paul instructs we should strive to take the things we
have learned and teach it to others with the hope they too will teach (2 Timothy 2:2).
Conclusion
Mentoring relationships provide two very important elements to our lives:
introspection and service. Through introspection we are honestly and accurately examine our
motives and actions in light of the situations we grapple with each day. Service then provides
The question one could honestly ask is, “Why go through all the trouble of self
evaluation?” To quote Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Living a life that
is never evaluated is to settle for mere existence with little impact. On the other hand a life
that is honestly and consistently evaluated in order to mature is filled with opportunities to
Hawkey, K. (2006, May 2nd Quarter). Emotional Intelligence and Mentoring in Pre-Service
Teacher Education: A Literature Review. Mentoring & Tutoring, 14(2), 137-147.
Resonant Leader Is One In Tune With Himself, Others. (2005, November 28). USA Today
(New York), sec. Money, p. 06b.
Ashkanasy, N. &. D., M. (2003, Sep/Oct). Emotional Awareness and Emotional Intelligence
in Leadership Training. Journal of Education for Business, 79(1), 18-22.