A

Change Your Thoughts Guide

Unlocking the Power of Your Mind

Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

Welcome to Module 8 of Mind Alchemy. If you've made it this far and you're really doing all the exercises, a huge congratulations to you. Honestly, human nature shows that most people talk about changing and say they want to change, but don't really do anything about it, even when given the tools to do so, so massive kudos to you. Okay, today we're going to be looking at one of my favourite topics, and that is beliefs. This is a huge topic and it deserves a lot of your attention. Changing your disempowering beliefs to empowering ones will, literally, change your life. I'd like to start this topic with a story

Harvey and his sons

its not our environment or events in life that shape us, it's the belief we attach to the environment and those events. To illustrate what Im talking about in that quote, Id like to tell you a story about a guy named Harvey. Harvey is an alcoholic who has two sons; Tommy and Matt. Harvey has brought Tommy and Matt up exactly the same way. Tommy and Matt's mother died when they were very young.

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

Harvey was a mean drunk, and would often go home and beat his kids for no reason. This happened throughout Tommy and Matt's lives until they were old enough to leave the family home at 16 years old. Harvey was frequently in trouble with the police getting into fights in bars. When he got drunk there was always a fight. His sons would be afraid at the thought of him coming home, they would hide or stay away. As the two boys grew up, they went their separate ways. Tommy, is now in prison for attempted murder after a brawl in a local bar. He has two sons, one who is in jail and the other a drug addict. His wife divorced him a number of years ago, due to his alcohol addiction. Matt, has three children; two boys and a girl. He has been married for over 20 years and has a loving relationship with his wife. Matt has a successful business and his turnover is in excess of 10 million dollars per year. He loves his business, and his family and spends as much time with his wife and kids as possible. Matt is 45 years old now but has the fitness level of a 25 year old, he doesn't take drugs, doesnt drink and he works out three times per week. When Tommy, who is still in prison, was asked why he turned out the way he did his reply was how else could my life have turned out with a father like mine. When Matt was asked why he turned out the way he did his reply was, how else could I have turned out with a father like mine. The story shows that our perceptions and beliefs about our life, and our surroundings can drastically alter how we live our lives.

Beliefs and how to change them

One of the biggest gifts we could ever be given in life, and I mean this quite literally, is knowing that we can change our beliefs. This is just an amazing piece of knowledge to have, to know that we can actually change beliefs that have been useless and lying unchallenged within us for years We have certain beliefs within us just now that are disempowering us, and this is what we want to look at next to show you ways that you can disarm the disempowering beliefs or get rid of them altogether and install new beliefs into you own life.

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

Our beliefs literally shape our reality. Your reality is totally different from mine. It's also different from your partners, work colleagues, your kids and the people around about you. You're unique to you; the thing that makes you different are the beliefs you hold about your world. Think about that for a moment - you have created your own world. Yes, we share a lot of constructs, but effectively you have created the world around you and created the person that you are today. That might bake your noodle a little, but if you can get your head around that and really think about it, it means if you have created your life thus far, it means you can change it because you are the creator. Dr Bernard Siegel recounts stories of patients with multiple personality disorders who have literately changed eye colour and gone from one personality to another. They have also developed physical symptoms such as diabetes within their bodies simply because they have changed from one personality to another, each having totally different beliefs about themselves. Thats a stark presentation of how deeply embedded our beliefs are and there is lots of evidence to support this. If you read any of Dr Siegels books, you will realise the power of beliefs. So, this not only shows that beliefs are in our mind and can affect our minds, but they can also affect our physical body as well. They are extremely powerful in themselves and so its important to learn as much about yourself, through your beliefs, as possible, and, if you feel its necessary, change them or install a new belief. Lets consider the placebo affect which basically has two sets of patients who are given two sets of different pills. One of the sample group receive a sugar pill and are told that the pill is going to help with their condition; pain, depression etc. The other sampling group are given genuine medication to treat the condition. What has been found time and time again, since 1955 when the phrase was coined placebo effect, is that 50 60 % of patients respond to the placebo tablet, that is, the sugar pill.- so, it has the desired effect of positively addressing the condition. This is the power of belief; it doesnt mean to say that human beings are stupid, it just means that we are fooling ourselves with the power of the mind by believing that the sugar pill is going to help. This is reinforced within the hospital/medical setting, and accepting that a doctor has prescribed the pill. So what this really means is a belief, if we take it down to its basic function, is something you hold in your mind; it's a concept - something you know with certainty that is true and that creates a deep feeling within.

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

A belief is a feeling of certainty, and feeling that something is true. If you say that you are an intelligent person what you are really saying is you feel that you are an intelligent person. That feeling of certainty allows you to tap into your inner resources which will allow you to display a feeling of intelligence and, in turn, to think and take actions in a different way from the perspective of an intelligent person or at least your perception of how an intelligent person would behave.

Belief formula
For the purpose of this course, I have come up with a belief formula, based on my Psychology degree research; both qualitative and quantitative. The belief formula is: perception + evidence + time = belief. Now to illustrate this formula, Id like to tell you a story about a girl named Sharon who is 22 years old. Sharon has never really believed that she is attractive which is reflective of a lot of people in the world today, both female and male. One day whilst at work, a male friend paid her a compliment, and said she looked really good and hot. Sharon was taken by surprise by this, but didnt really think anymore about it However, when she went home that night, she looked in the mirror and thought about what her friend had said and thought that she was actually looking a bit better than she had been. A few nights later when she was out with friends she was approached by a good looking guy who asked if he could buy her a drink. Sharon was really flattered but politely refused to take the drink, which caused a little stir among her friends, who joked with her about this. Again she was taken aback by this compliment. Sharon started to reflect on recent events and began to question and challenge her perception of her beliefs in herself. Other small things like this happened over the next few weeks and Sharon's (self) belief was starting to take hold. A few weeks later, Sharon is out shopping by herself and she sees a nice pair of jeans and decides to try them on. She looks in the mirror, in the changing room, which as you know can be traumatic for anyone :) and was able to recognise that she actually looked good and she acknowledged that she liked what she saw in the mirror.

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

This was the formation of a new belief in herself. A few weeks later her mother says to her that over the last few months there has been a marked difference in her appearance and she was looking wonderful. Now, it was unusual for her mother to pay her a compliment, and she was able to take this compliment in the positive manner in which it had been offered. So Sharon was able to take this belief obtained in the previous few months and let it set in her mind. Sharon has now formed the belief that she is attractive. Due to the formation of this belief, that she is attractive, which has been reinforced by the compliments of others, Sharon starts to act, dress and even walk differently, due to her new found belief in herself. She begins to dress to accentuate her best assets and she attends the gym to maintain this attractive figure. This change affects her thinking, and she is thinking more positively, more confidently and begins to take on bigger challenges in life. You see Sharon has a perception of herself about the way she looks. This perception changes as external reinforcers force her to look at her perception. More evidence, again in the form of external factors, and internal factors prove to Sharon that she is attractive. With time and the continuation of evidence building she forms a new belief about herself: perception + evidence + time = belief The story of Sharon is quite simplistic in that a belief may be formed over years depending on what stage we are at in life. But if you look at the transition for Sharon. She was able to challenge her misconceived perceptions and beliefs of herself aided by external reinforcers. This is what happens to you. Your beliefs are either positive or negative. If you are the type of person where your world looks bleak and dark and miserable, its purely because your belief needs to be altered in relation to how you really are, and how the world really is. The event is irrelevant, it is how you react to the event that matters. I know that there will be awful experiences that people will have been through, and the more traumatic the experiences, the more specialist help you will need. However, in general day to day life, if you have limiting beliefs in your life, you can turn that around, if you wish, purely by turning your beliefs around. Obviously you have to examine your current belief to know what areas you want to change.

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

The table of beliefs

Tony Robbins uses a metaphor for building your beliefs called the table metaphor. Basically what this means is you have an imaginary table top which represents a perception we have about ourselves. In Sharons case, the perception may have been planted when the colleague at work paid her a compliment., at this point its just a table top; it doesnt have any support as such at this stage. As Sharon travelled through the following weeks she received further compliments that reinforced the positive image in herself, which resulted in the formation of the legs for the tabletop or her perception. Its now able to support the idea of her positive self image, that idea has now turned into a belief about herself and this is how we all form beliefs.

Belief formation
When we are young our beliefs are formed from external forces i.e. parents, teachers, friends, peers and family. If we respect another person then it is easier to believe what they say; Santa Claus, anyone! In adulthood, we have transferred these childhood beliefs across, so its time to look at your beliefs, evaluate them, and identify which ones you want to discard. Whenever you question something it means you are starting to doubt it. This will lead to more questions which result in you being less likely to believe entrenched attitudes given to you from others. However, you will be able to retain those beliefs that you actually trust in. Think about the belief that 99.9% of the world population holds true: That the sun is going to rise every morning. Think about that belief just now, question it. The possibility of the sun rising tomorrow morning is extremely high. How do we determine this? We look to the past. It has always risen in the morning. there has never been one single day that the sun has not risen at a specific times. These times have been recorded and we can trust in our past experience of the previous events. So because of the evidence, we have no foundation to say that this belief is not true. Obviously there are some people out there that

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

may believe that the sun will not. The difference is that this will be proved unfounded within 24 hours when it rises again. However, when we question beliefs about ourselves and not external natural forces, we start to pick holes in our beliefs. When I was about 5 years old, I was told by significant people in my life (friends, teachers etc) that I wasnt really intelligent and I believed them. At the time I couldnt understand that this was correlated by an undiagnosed hearing impairment that appeared to reinforce this view point. I had difficulty hearing the teacher in class; Math, English etc, because I couldnt hear properly. That carried on for another 10 years or so and I still believed that I was quite thick - this was the phrase I used at the time and its a phrase that I have never and would never use about myself or anyone else again, but the word represents how damaging the belief was. The reason I was so ready to believe this was because significant others in my life told me both verbally and nonverbally that I was slow and I had no understanding or benchmark on which to challenge at the time. When I reached 14 years of age things changed. I questioned these beliefs that I had. The reason for this inner challenge was that I had taken a History exam, a topic I was really interested in, and I achieved an A. This outcome made me question my beliefs about my intelligence as a whole. I then began to look for evidence, the legs of the table so to speak. I carried on to achieve good results in English, Math, and my Geography exams. These were all clear external indications that the conditions of worth and labels that had been placed on me as a child were wrong. I began to form other beliefs that culminated in me believing that I was intelligent, and I had the audacity to apply to university. Now, to apply to university I had to have some Higher level Math, Physics and Chemistry, and when I reflected back to high school I couldnt achieve even the most standard grade in any of these subjects. However, because I had changed my beliefs that I was intelligent, and I believed I could pass these Higher exams, I went onto achieve all the qualifications required first time which allowed me to secure a place on my Psychology Degree course. I graduated in 2000. This was one of my biggest achievements in life, purely because of my previous belief that I lacked intelligence. I know that intelligence is not equated to passing exams, as the exam system is inherently flawed, but it is an indication of commitment, belief, and a degree of intelligence. It is this experience that triggered my interest in beliefs, and how they form our reality and worlds. This is an illustration of how challenging our beliefs, and changing them, can change our reality in the future.

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

Try the exercise on the next page to help you further with forming beliefs and ridding yourself of negative beliefs.

Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs Exercise

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

This is a two part exercise. Part 1 - Think of a negative belief you currently hold about yourself and write down questions to question that belief:

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

Part 2 - Just as above I'd like you to write down a new belief statement that you would like to have about yourself e.g. I am intelligent. Now find evidence to prove that statement and write it down here. Revisit this as much as you can and find new evidence every day. Belief Statement:

Evidence:

Mind Alchemy Module 8 Changing Your Beliefs

Your thoughts and insights
How did you find todays exercise?

Did you gain any insights from this exercise?

What actions can you take today as a result of doing this exercise?