Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Version: 1/00
Christmas
Q: What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?
A: I really go fir you!
Q: What do you have in December that you don't have in any other
month?
A: The letter "D".
Horror
Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car
crash?
A: He's all right now.
Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A: A sour-puss.
A: At the casketeria.
Q: Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle!
Q: What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
A: Bugs Bunny.
Q: What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A: A rash of good luck.
Q. Why was the Blonde proud of finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six
months?
A. The box said "2 to 4 years!"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her
eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
A: They take off their makeup.
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: How does the blonde turn on the light after having sex?
A: She opens the car door.
Q: If a blonde and a brunette fall off a 100 ft cliff, which hits the
ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask directions.
Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming
vase?
A: It's OK, I'm not hurt.
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
Q: What does Star Treks Dr. McCoy say before doing brain surgery on a
blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier
Q: Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light
bulbs?
A: She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
Q: Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda vending
machine?
A: Because she thought she was winning.