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AMRERAN CULTURE

I. Overview about American family


1. Definition of family A family is any group of people united by the ties of marriage, blood, or adoption, or any sexually expressive relationship, in which (1) the adults cooperate financially for their mutual support and care of the children, (2) the people are committed to one another in an intimate, interpersonal relationship, and (3) the members see their identity as importantly attached to the group with an identity of its own. 2. General introduction about American family life There are usually both parents and two children in a typical American family. In most American families both parents work. Very young children go to nursery schools or stay at home with a child-minder. Old people usually live in their own homes or a nursing home if they cannot look after themselves. Americans often move house from city to city or from state to state. For this reason American families live far away from their relatives. However, they keep in touch with each other by telephone or letter. During the holidays or at celebrations like Thanksgiving, families often visit each other. Like British families, parents in American families try to spend time with their children at weekends. They often visit museums. They also go to the cinema or to the park. The buildings in American cities are similar to those in British cities. There are tall tower blocks, skyscrapers, terraced houses and large brick buildings. In the suburbs, however, the houses are very different. A lot of Americans live in wooden houses with front and back gardens. Two thirds of Americans own their houses. Other Americans rent houses, apartments or rooms. Americans are usually very houseproud and take good care of their homes.

II. Body
1. Family Structure * In the U.S: - Large family: Large families of the early 20th century included the father and mother and five or more children. High mortality rates at the time caused parents to feel
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the need to produce several children to make up for those lost due to sickness and disease. Families living on farms needed many helpers to plant and bring in the crops before modern mechanization reduced the need for manual labor. Large families require sufficient income to ensure that every member has enough to eat and has sufficient housing. - Two children: Changing demographics and economic reality have driven down the size of the U.S. family structure. Working moms do not have the time to balance a career and still take care of five or more children. The advent of safe and acceptable birth control methods have allowed parents to gain control of family planning and can now determine how large the family should be. Popular media portray the ideal family as having two parents, with one boy and one girl. - Single parent: U.S. family structure always has been diverse, but changing attitudes towards divorce has increased the number of single-family homes across the country. The single parent may be a mother, a father or maybe a grandparent. Single parent families face the economic challenge of only one adult providing income, and the limitation of only one parent supporting the emotional and developmental needs of the children. Children in a single-parent home have the same needs as children living in any other family structure. - Extended family: Extended or multi-generational families perform many important functions in society. Extended families contain two or more adults from different generations and may include aunts and uncles who are not married. Adult members of the family may contribute to paying the bills or may be involved in helping to care for the children. According to an article by the University of Missouri Extension, "These families have increased by 40 percent." Adult family members benefit significantly from the shared housing expenses. * In Vietnam: The Vietnamese family now exists in two major forms: nuclear families (two generations) and extended families (from three generations upwards). The nuclear family is the most common. According to findings of a survey of three regions including cities, plain and midland-highland: nuclear families account for 78% (cities, 65%; plain, 81.7%
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and midland - highland areas, 80.6%). The nuclear family does not stand on its own but always receives support and assistance from wider families (parents, brothers and wider kin). Three-generation families account for a small percentage: 18.2% (cities, 35%; plain, 13%; and midland-highland, 18%). Meanwhile, four-generation families are very few (0.5%). 2. The emphasis on individual freedom Americans view the family as a group whose primary purpose is to advance the happiness of individual members. The result is that the needs of each individual take priority. However, the emphasis on the individual and his/her right to happiness can be confusing. It allows children to disagree, even argue with their parents. While in most other cultures such action would be a sign of disrespect and a lack of love, that is not the case in the United States. It is simply a part of developing one's independence. From the earliest age in America, children are encouraged to develop their sense of individual identity, achievement, and responsibility. Many Americans give their newborn babies their own room and crib (cot) from the first day they come home from hospital. As the baby grows, every individual achievement is celebrated and encouraged at the youngest possible age, such as feeding himself, dressing himself, walking to a neighbors house, talking on the phone politely, etc. And Americans do not like to have controls placed on them by other family members. The small independent successes of childhood give way to adult expressions of individualism such as living away from parents as soon as possible, making career choices without consulting any family member, and American-style love marriage without advice or interference from anyone else. Family name and honor are less important than in aristocratic societies, since equality of opportunity regardless of birth is considered a basic America value. * The comparison between The U.S and Vietnam The U.S Family name and honor are less important Family Vietnam name and honor are very

important Children dont have controls placed on Family members always want to controls
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them by other family members everything from children Young Americans are encouraged by Parents always have ideal in childrens their families to make such independent career in future. career decisions 3. Marriage and divorce * In the U.S: If the family is the building block of society, then marriage is the foundation of the family. Marriage is the best environment in which to raise healthy, happy children who can achieve their potential and that the family is the most important institution for social well-being. Marriages are not arranged in the United State. Young people are expected to find a husband or wife on their own; their parents do not usually help them. Over the year, the value placed on marriage itself is determined largely by how happy the husband and wife make each other. Happiness is based primarily on companionship. Other values, such as having economic support and the opportunity to have children are seen less important. If the couple is not happy, the individuals may choose to get a divorce. Divorce in the United States is the province of the state governments, not the federal government. Divorce laws vary from state to state. In some cases, divorce requires a party to claim fault of their partner that leads to the breakdown of marriage. Most states have no-fault divorce. To obtain a no-fault divorce, a couple states that they can no longer live happily together, that they have irreconcilable differences, irremediable breakdown, loss of affection or similar. Age at marriage for those who divorce in America according to DivorceRate.org

Age Under 20 years old 20 to 24 years old 25 to 29 years old

Women 27.6% 36.6% 16.4%


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Men 11.7% 38.8% 22.3%


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Age 30 to 34 years old 35 to 39 years old

Women 8.5% 5.1%

Men 11.6% 6.5%

As the divorce rates in America rises, bad effects do happen on the children who are used to growing up with both parents. When a parent leaves the household, this can make the child withdraw, feel unwanted and affect their schoolwork, social skills, and their activities. Just because in American society, people want only what is good for them, even if it's not the best for someone else. Society has changed from the importance of family to the importance of me. This may explain why the U.S. has the highest divorce rate and the highest rate of solo parenting in the Western world. However, according to the experts, divorce rates tend to go down primarily because more couples live together without a legal commitment, over marriage. Marriage is being replaced by cohabitation because it requires less of a commitment. * In Vietnam: Vietnam is a traditional patriarchal society where the male is the head of the family. Vietnamese society lays strong emphasis on family and marriage. As with many other Asian countries, traditionally marriages were performed at an early age. Most marriages were (and still are) arranged marriages where not just the prospective groom and bride are appraised, but also their families. Marriage is seen as relationship between two families and not just a union between men and women. Many Vietnamese regard the development of romantic love as an important component in deciding to marry, but many will also balance family considerations when making their decision. Vietnamese prefer to marry someone of equal status, though it is better for the husband to be of slightly higher status. Such considerations have become more significant in recent years as wealth differentials have grown. Vietnam has among the lowest divorce rates in the world. Vietnam's divorce rate is approximately one divorce for 10,000 persons. Reasons for this low divorce rate can be found in the social mores of Vietnam, in the role of Vietnamese women and in Vietnamese civil law. Vietnamese law allows both men and women to ask for a divorce.
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Divorce rates have increased, particularly in urban areas, but many women are reluctant to divorce because remarriage is difficult for them. 4. The role of the child * In the U.S: Family plays an important role in the process of shaping childrens character. Because of the individual character of the American, American children are taught to be independent on doing everything. As a result, they tend to get more attention and even have more power than they should. Nowadays in America, almost parents are busy with their work outside the home, so they do not have enough time to take care of their children and even do not pay much attention to them. Therefore, parents who feel guilty for not having much time with their children may give them more material things to compensate for the lack of attention. Unfortunately, this lack of attention causes many bad effects on children. Child abuse and neglect are everywhere. It is estimated that everyday in the US, 2,463 children are determined to be victims of abuse and neglect. Violent crime is a reality for many of American children. Each day in America, 181 children are arrested for violent crimes. Generally, American parents tend to place more emphasis on the needs and desires of the child and less on the childs social and family responsibilities. Child psychologists, counselors, and social workers are employed to help children with problems at school and in the family. Many books on how to raise children have become the best sellers. * In Vietnam: In Viet Nam, parents think that covering their children is the way to show their love. However, almost parents tend to pamper them too much. It makes children turn bad in character and be selfish. In addition, the child will lack of life skills and it is hard for them to deal with difficulties in life. In the viewpoint of parents, children are their own possess, so they have right to decide how to teach them. Parents tend to impose children on their desires. The child will be in stress, even complain angrily. Children can not develop abilities and skills. There appears a big distance between parents and children. When children face with problems, they tend to tell their friends or anybody else, not their parents. Why is that?
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Maybe the answer is because parents always force children to do what parents want, do not care about the childrens wish and desire. Children have no choice following their parents. 5. Equality in the family * In the U.S: It is very different that in American family, the father is not considered as ruler and master like the father in aristocratic societies. The mother and the father have the same role in the family. The childrens relations with their father are not very formal, and love for theirs is not always combined with fear. There is less formal respect for, and fear of, the father. But there is more affection expressed toward him. The children can show their idea with their parents about everything in the family and get the listening from their parent. In fact, some Americans are worried that there is too much democracy in the home. Some parents seem to have little or no control over the behavior of their teenage children, particularly after they turn 16 and get their drivers licenses. The reason for that is Americans want to teach their children to be independent and self-reliant by giving them a lot of freedom. After the children graduate from high school, they are expected to leave their home to go to college or to start to support their live themselves by getting a job. Today, however, many young people are unable to find jobs that support the lifestyle they have grown up with, and they choose to move back in with their parents for a time. * In Vietnam: In Vietnam, the father is considered as ruler and master in the past. But nowadays, the role of the mother is more and more getting important because, the woman can earn money to support their family living without depending on their husband. However, due to the feature of Asian, the father still keeps more important role than the mother. There is also the right for the children like in America, but in fact, Vietnamese children are not respected like the American children. They are not given a lot of freedom as well as equality. They still have to follow their parents. They depend on them until they officially go to work and are able to support their living. Most of them tend to live with their parents even after getting married if they can not buy a house. 6. Stages of marriage relationships
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* In the U.S: - Stage 1: Wife as Servant to Husband During the 19th century, American wives were expected to obey their husbands. The wives had no power in family matters, her possessions and her earnings belonged to her husband and they were not allowed to vote although both husbands and wives had family duties. Therefore, womens status in this time is as servant to the family. - Stage 2: Husband-Head, Wife-Helper. During the late 19th and early 20th centuries, women had more opportunities to work outside the household. The husband could no longer make family decision alone and demand that the wife follow them. However, the husband remained the head of family and the wife was only his full-time helper by taking care of his house and children. In the early 20th century, women gained the right to vote. - Stage 3: Husband-Senior Partner, Wife-Junior Partner During 20th century, more and more wives have taken jobs outside the home. According to an American sociologists-John Scanzoni, when married women take a job, their power in family increases further than when her duties were entirely in the home. However, the wife is still not an equal partner with her husband since his job or career still provides more of the family income. He is, therefore, he senior partner and she is the junior partner of the family enterprise. - Stage 4: Husband-Wife Equal Partners Since the late 1960s, a growing number of women have expressed a strong dissatisfaction with any marriage arrangement where the husband and his career are the primary considerations in the marriage. In an equal partnership marriage, husband and wife share all these duties equally such as: career, income, household However, the reality of life in the United States does not really like this. Although most women now have an equal say in the decisions affecting the family, they generally earn less than men for the same work. Also, most women are still spending more time taking care of the children, cooking, and cleaning house than their husbands are. * In Vietnam:
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- The Vietnamese marriage relationship in tradition: Traditionally, Vietnam was dominated by Chinese culture with the three dependencies being the womans duty to follow her father when young, her husband when married and her sons when widowed. This unequal treatment of women in morality was translated into a lower status for the wife in the law. Some actions were considered criminal only when taken by the wife but not when by the husband (for example: beating wife without wounding). However, because of the reality of the Vietnamese womens role in the economy, even the laws of the emperors had to give them equality in civil rights. In the area of personal right, dynasty laws required the wife and the husband to love and respect each other and would demote a husband who neglected or abandoned his wife. The wife could also take initiative to ask for a divorce on several grounds. - The Vietnamese marriage relationship in modern life: + In the period of Frances colony: After the French came at the end of the 19th century to colonize Vietnam, they first applied the law of the Nguyen and later promulgated new codes of law, drafted according to the Napoleon code. Under colonial laws, the notion of legal incapacity of the married woman was another step backward: she had to obey the husbands authority, stay at whatever domicile chosen by the husband, let him represent her in all affairs, and get his permission to engage in a profession, a trade or a separate business. However, the tendency of equality for the woman was still irresistible in Vietnamese society under the French. Even the colonial law codes said she had legal capacity to commit her husband on household matters. + The new equality for women in Vietnam from 1959 on: In 1954, Vietnam was divided into North and South Vietnam In the South, the womens drive toward equality emerged when Madame Ngo Dinh Nhu was instrumental in having the new Family Law adopted by the National Assembly. Under this law, the husband and the wife jointly owned and managed all properties; the

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law permitted even the wife to attach the salary of the spouse in the hands of third parties. The wife had full legal capacity and might have her own career. In North Vietnam, another Family Law of 1959 also confirmed equality between husband and wife: monogamy, joint property ownership, the wifes right to choose her own career and engage in political activity. In divorce, the property would be divided in proportion to labor contribution. Some people still consider men better than women and there are more men than women in top jobs of the government and the Party. However, custom and law recognize the important economic and social role of women in agriculture, industry, health, education and even in war-related activities (such as road building and transportation). Women also participated in elections, in bureaucracy and in Communist Party affairs. The above principles of equality do not change with the new Family Law of 1986 in unified Vietnam. 7. The role of family in society * In the U.S: 'The family has always been the cornerstone of American society. Our families nurture, preserve and pass on to each succeeding generation the values we share and cherish, values that are foundation for our freedoms. In the family, we learn our first lessons of God and man, love and discipline, rights, and responsibilities, human dignity and human frailty. Our families give us daily examples of these lessons being put into practice. In raising and instructing our children, in providing personal and compassionate care for the elderly, in maintaining the spiritual strength of religious commitment among our people-in these and other ways, America's families make immeasurable contributions to American's well-being. Today more than ever, it is essential that these contributions not to be taken for granted and that each of us remember that the strength of our families is vital to the strength of our nation." - President of the United States of America, Ronald Reagan. * In Vietnam: The Nation-wide Strategy for the Vietnamese Family from 2006 to 2010 stated: Family is the cell of society where the human race is maintained, and which is an essential environment where human dignity is formed, taught and maintained; where good
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traditional culture is preserved and promoted; where social evils are warned against; and where human resources are supplied for nation-wide construction and defense. Family is one of the important factors determining the solid development of society, the success of industrialization and modernization and the building of Socialism. Building a prosperous, progressive, happy and equal Vietnamese family, with a few children (each couple has only one or two children), is the motive power behind the strategy of socio-economic development in this period of industrializing and modernizing the country. 8. Family value: *In the U.S: Having strong well defined family values helps solidify the foundation for a strong, tight knit family. When cultivated long enough this closeness provides a soft place to fall when life doesnt go according to plan. Strong and consistent family values are important in building trust and confidence in each family member. America's family values are very important to their citizens. Its values have been one of the top priorities of American. The family is even an essential part of the American Dream that Americans are so fond of. The basic idea of success in America is measured by how well one can provide for their family. It determines these values and set a standard for the whole of America's people. The ideal of the American family is group cooperation to help achieve the fulfillment of each individual member, and share affection to review each members emotional strength. Daniel Yankelovich suggested 11 point that a majority of American agree as family value. He classifies six of them as clearly traditional: - Respecting one parents - Being responsible for one action - Having faith in God - Respecting authority - Married to the same person for life - Leaving the world in better shape The other five are a blend of traditional and newer, more expressive values
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- Giving emotional support to other members of the family - Respecting people for themselves - Developing greater skill in communicating ones feelings - Respecting ones children - Living up to ones potential as an individual * In Vietnam: Throughout its history the family has formed the cornerstone of Vietnamese culture and society. - Most Vietnamese place more emphasis on their roles, privileges and obligations within the family than on their own individual desires. - The traditional Vietnamese worship ancestors. - The father is seen as the head and as the pillar of the family. If the father or mother lacks or fails, children are always taken care for by an aunt or uncle. - Having a boy in family is a "must" because the eldest son will assume the duties of his father when the father dies. - Divorce is legal but not common. - The young are not taught to develop their individuality. The considerations of the family are always put before the individual - Allegiance to the family is seen as the most important factor. The misbehavior of an individual reflects badly on all of the family members. - Traditionally the family has been the foremost institution for the education of children. The children are taught from a very young age that they are to forgo their interests for those of their family. Vietnamese place a higher value on education rather than on material success. Parents encourage their children to study and excel in their education ( while American people are practical and use material success as the social status).

III. Conclusion
After studying this presentation, we will have an overall view of American family. Besides, we can understand the differences and similarities between the U.S and Vietnam in terms of family. This makes our knowledge of different cultures more plentiful.
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Whenever we know something about a new culture, we may feel that it would be perfectly a new interesting experience. We will be more mature. Dislike a fish out of water, we will soon get on well with new culture whenever you go abroad.

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