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Jokes Longer Jokes and Stories
Longer Jokes and Stories
Get Ready to Groan!
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Version date: Aug 2002
Collated by: http://Gasonga.com/
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Bestsellers for Sex Jokes from Amazon.com
Useless Sexual Trivia: Tastefully Prurient Facts About Everyone's Favorite Subject
by Shane Mooney
List Price: $12.00
Our Price: $9.60
Sales Rank: 74,899 - Avg. Rating: 4.3 (out of 5)
Released: February, 2000 - ISBN: 0684859270
The World's Best Yiddish Dirty Jokes
by Mr P Mr Robbie Stillerman
Our Price: $4.95
Sales Rank: 425,738 - Avg. Rating: 5 (out of 5)
Released: September, 2000 - ISBN: 0806508876
The Cunning Linguist : Ribald Riddles, Lascivious Limericks, Carnal Corn, and Other Good, Clean Dirty
Fun
by Richard Lederer
List Price: $13.95
Our Price: $11.16
Sales Rank: 1,625,652 - Avg. Rating: 0 (out of 5)
Released: December, 2003 - ISBN: 0312318138
Dirty Jokes for Women
by Liz Hughes
Our Price: $5.95
Released: 01 March, 1997 - ISBN: 1569801088
The Dirty Joke Book
by Mr. K. Mr K
Our Price: $9.95
Released: June, 2001 - ISBN: 0806521260
The Flip Side
by Andrew Matthews
List Price: $15.95
Our Price: $11.17
Sales Rank: 2,176,354 - Avg. Rating: 2.5 (out of 5)
Released: 12 August, 2003 - ISBN: 0385730969
Dave Barry's Guide to Life: Guide to Marriage And/or Sex/Babies and Other Hazards of Sex/Stay Fit and
Healthy Until You're Dead/Claw Your Way to the
by Dave Barry Jerry O'Brien
Our Price: $9.99
Released: October, 1998 - ISBN: 0517064863
2002 Days & Nights of Sex
by Richard Smith
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Released: October, 1998 - ISBN: 1579120458
500 All Time Funniest Jokes & Stories about Sex
by Ron Stewart Sheila Stewart
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Our Price: $9.56
Sales Rank: 1,124,927 - Avg. Rating: 0 (out of 5)
Released: April, 2002 - ISBN: 0971761701
Sex With My Ex: Truly Tasteless Divorce Jokes
by Webster Watnik Cindy, Phd Chrone
List Price: $12.95
Our Price: $10.36
Released: September, 2000 - ISBN: 0964940426

Problems
The boss of a big company needs to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with the main computer. He dials the employee's home
phone number and is greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
Feeling putout at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the
boss asks,
"Is your daddy home?" "Yes," whispers the small voice.
"May I speak to him?”
"No." The small voice replies.
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asks,
"Is your mommy there?"
"Yes," comes the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
“No,” The small voice whispers.
Thinking that it would be unlikely for a child to be left at home alone, the
boss decides he will just leave a message with the child minder.
"Is anyone there besides you?" the boss asks the child.
"Yes" whispers the child, "A policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asks,
"May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," The child, whispers
"Busy doing what?" asks the boss.
"Talking to mommy, daddy and the fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asks, "What is
that noise?"
"A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice.
"What’s going on?" asks the boss, now alarmed.
The child answers, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asks,
"What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replies
along with a muffled giggle: "Me!”

Call centre stuff
An Electronics Company
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone
Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?”
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
travelling
in Australia?”
Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?”
Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please."
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
off"
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland".
Caller: "I'd like the RSPCA please".
Operator: "Where are you calling from?"
Caller: "The living room".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone

box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
window to write the number on".

'Computer Call Centre Capers'

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my
file back again?"
British Rail
Customer: "How much does it cost to Bath on the train?"
Operator: "If you can get your feet in the sink, then it's free!"
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre"
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours!"
A Bank
Caller: "I would like to borrow £2,000 please".
Operator: "Certainly, sir. Over how long?"
Caller: "Three years, please".
Operator: "OK, sir. That will be £75 per month for 36 months. Is that
OK?"
Caller: "No, not at all. I want it all at once!"

20 things it took me 30 years to learn
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on

the same night.
2. If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories,
decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His
messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very
often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. If
anybody cares how you dance, feel sorry for them. They need to get a life
and learn how to have fun. And notice that people, who dance and cut
loose once in a while, usually live longer.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to
annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person that is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a
nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

19. Don't think that because a person is having fun, they are drinking to
excess. Some people have fun naturally given the moment and you need to
find out how they do it.
20. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember that
a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built
the Titanic.

The Alternative Michelin Star Rating Scale
1 star hangover *
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your slept in your own bed and when
you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you. You are still
able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those
vodka Red bull’s. However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel
as parched as the Sahara. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger
and side of fries.
2 star hangover * *
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have
the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you hug
to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is
craving a full English breakfast. Although you have a nice demeanour
about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because
all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing
the net and writing junk e-mails.
3 star hangover * * *
Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and
not so productive. Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because her
perfume / aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with
your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 3:45 a.m. Life
would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts
and a litre of coke watching daytime TV. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a
gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't
peed once.
4 star hangover * * * *
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak
too quickly or else you might spew. Your boss has already lambasted you
for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact
that you either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving or it looks like you
put your make-up on while riding the dodgems (depending on your gender).
Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big
vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from the second-
grade class picture circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one of the
following - Home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone or a time
machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.
5 star hangover * * * * *
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the
employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore
and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of
your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to
generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that
would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty
good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-
workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic.
You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to
do is breathe...very gently.
6 star hangover * * * * * *
You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly; as you were
fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep until
the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that you bed has been
cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter
what you do you now, you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed and
now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail. After walking along
the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the
pictures, you find the toilet. If you are lucky you will remember to lift
the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up
with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.
You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the
world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus
noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is
short lived. Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help
now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you
there in the dark.
With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died
back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are
convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that
you saw your tonsils projectile out your mouth on the last occasion. It is
now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as
you try to climb into bed.
She /He abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of
dried vomit in your hair. You reluctantly accept their advice and have a

shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital. Work is not an
option. The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make
you sick again, like moving. You vow never to touch a drop again and who
knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.
The Sahara
Two blokes are lost in the Sahara desert. They're desperate for water,
but just as they think they're about to die, they chance upon a village
where market day is in full swing. They go to the first stall they see and
ask if they can buy some water.
"No," replies the Bedouin stall owner, "I only sell fruit. Try the next
stall."
So off they go to the next stall and again they ask for water. "Sorry,"
says the merchant, "But I only sell custard."
"Custard?" one of the blokes says to the other, "What kind of place is
this?"
By now the guys are desperate. They go to the next stall, only to be told,
"Sorry, but I only sell jelly."
Hearing this, one of the blokes turns to the other and says, "This bazaar
is a trifle!"

Question and Answer
Q: Did you hear about the man that drowned in a bowl of muesli?
A: A strong currant pulled him in.
Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: What’s likely to happen if you go to a seafood disco?

A: You’ll pull a mussel.
Q: Why are tractors magic?

A: After going down lanes they can turn into fields.
Q: What’s the best answer phone message for a drug dealer?

A: If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key!
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic?

A: He choked on his own Vimto.
Q: Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD's?

A: In Iraq.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.

He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
A man walks into a pub, and notices Vincent Van Gogh is standing at the
bar.
"Do you want a pint, Vince?" he asks.
"No, thanks," replies the artist. "I've got one 'ere."
A man walks into doctor's office.

"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises", replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."

A brain and a jump lead go into a pub and order some drinks.
The barman says, "I'm not serving you two!"
"Why not?" asks the brain
"Because you are out of your skull and he is bound to start something."
A chemist was robbed of a large quantity of viagra tablets last week.

Police say that they are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
An ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with
hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
Warning it’s a blonde joke
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting for a
while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice,
the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it’s
only fair - given that you’re blind - that you should know five things...
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 120 kg blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
...Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second then shakes his head.
"Nah. Not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

Bruce
Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his
girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off.
Bruce slams on the brakes and yells, "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think
you're doing?"
Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got
me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself."
Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this.
He says "Strewth Sheila...Not only are you a great shag, but you're a real
sport too." And drives off.
More Question and Answer
Q: Why was the ghost upset on Valentines Day?

A: He had no body to go out with!
Q: What has 100 teeth and can hold back a huge monster?
A: My zipper.
Q: What do you get when you cross LSD with a birth control pill?
A: A trip without the kids.
Q. Have you seen Quasimodo?

A. He went to lunch, but I have a hunch he's back!
Q. Vampire’s like cricket. How do we know?

A. They turn into bats every night.
Q: What do you call a monster with no neck?

A: The Lost Neck Monster.
Q: What do bees do with their honey?

A: They cell it.
Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A: A bricklayer!

Q: What happens when frogs park illegally?

A: They get toad.
Q: Where do fortune-tellers dance?

A: At a crystal ball.
Q: Did you hear about the man that drowned in a bowl of muesli?
A: A strong currant pulled him in.
Q: What’s likely to happen if you go to a seafood disco?

A: You’ll pull a mussel.
Q: What’s the best answer phone message for a drug dealer?

A: If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key!
Q: Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD's?

A: In Iraq.
Visitors to Ireland should beware of street traders selling Pebbles.

An Irish Tourist board official confirmed,
“Yes, It’s true there are a lots of Shamrocks here!”
A Shakespearian actor is on stage when an insect lands on him and stings

him. He’s somewhat irritated by this but carries on.
A moment later, another insect lands on him and stings him.
Again he’s irritated but the show must go on, so he ignores it and carries
on. When he gets off stage, not having seen what happened, he asks the
crew,
"Two Bees or not to Bees, That is the question"
A Japanese tourist goes into an Australian bank to cash some travellers

cheques. He’s offered 85 yen to the dollar. The tourist shouts,
"85 yen! That's robbery. Yesterday I get 80 yen to the dollar. Why do
you do this?"
"Fluctuations", explains the Manager.
"No! Fluck you Australians!" shouts the tourist. "I go somewhere else!"

Have you heard the creators of KY Jelly have produced a new product?
It's called Y2K Jelly. Why's it so special? Well, it allows you to get four
digits in your date instead of two
Sue and Bettie are discussing the gender of various items.

Sue, “What gender do you think a Swiss Army Knife would take?”
Bettie, “O that’s easy male!”
Sue, “Why?”
Bettie, “Well, it has lots of tools, could do a variety of useful work, but
spends most of its time opening beer bottles!”
A man walks into doctor's office.

"What seems to be the problem?" asks the Doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises", replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove!"
Job Ads
Wanted Insurance loss adjuster needed.

Apply to Mr. Risk
Wanted alcoholics anonymous manager

Apply to Mustafa Beer
Curtain maker needed

Contact Mrs. Sash
Wanted Rabbit hutch repairman.

Applications to Warren.
Wanted Dog Walkers,

Must be able to take the lead.

A man falls asleep on the beach under the mid-day sun and suffers severe
sunburn to his legs. He’s taken to hospital and by the time he gets there
his skin has turned bright red. Anything that touches his legs causes him
tremendous pain.
The doctor takes a long look at him and then prescribes: intravenous
feeding of water and electrolytes, a mild sedative and Viagra.
The nurse is astounded and asks, "What good will Viagra do him in that
condition?"
”Simple”, replies the doctor, "It will keep the sheet off his legs."
A brain and a jump lead go into a pub and order some drinks.
The barman says, "I'm not serving you two!"
"Why not?" asks the brain
"Because you are out of your skull and he is bound to start something."
A chemist was robbed of a large quantity of viagra tablets last week.

Police say that they are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
An ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with
hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
A woman with a fifty-pound note stuck in each ear arrives at a bank and
asks to see the manager. The cashier steps through to the manageoffice
and says, "There's a woman to see you, and she’s £100 in arrears."
Q. What’s a transvestite’s idea of a good time?

A. East, drink and be Mary!
Blonde Driver
A blonde is driving down the motorway when her car’s phone rings. Her
husband shouts, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going
the wrong way down the M5. Please be careful!”
“It's not just one car!” says the blonde, “There's bloody hundreds of
them!”

Rainbow UK Children’s TV Programme
For those of you who don't have kids or are far too young to remember
the splendid children's TV programme Rainbow, this may be a little lost on
you... but it must have been a great episode to watch! Almost too
ridiculous to believe... These are taken from original Rainbow scripts and
there's no way these could have been done by accident. They contain
Innuendo all the way. The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana...
Zippy: “One skin, two skin, three skin, four”

George: “Zippy, where is Bungle?”
Zippy: “I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up.”
We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.
Bungle: “Geoffrey, I can't get it in”
Geoffrey: “You managed it last night”
Bungle: “I know, lets try it round the other way. Ooh, I've got
it in”
Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and
peg kit.
Bungle: “Would you stick this on the shelf, George”
George: “I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself,
Bungle.”
Geoffrey (to camera) “Hello everyone, today we are talking about playing”
Bungle: “Playing with each other, Geoffrey?”
Geoffrey: “Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like
to play with?”
George: “Yesterday we played with each other's balls. Are we
going to play with our friend's balls today?”
Bungle: “Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well.”
Geoffrey (to camera) Have you seen Bungles twanger?
Zippy: “Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it.”
Bungle: “It's my plucking instrument.”
Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle
Zippy: “I can, I'm the best plucker here.”
George: “And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it
Zippy?”
Zippy: “Well of course it is, Your peg wouldn't go in if it was
soft.”
Geoffrey: “Let's get back to Bungle's twanger.”
Bungle (excited) “Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all play with our twangers

couldn't we? Let's play the plucking song. Rod and Roger can get their
instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas.”
Singers Rod, Freddy and Jane enter.
Freddy: “We could hear you all banging away”
Rod: “Banging can be fun.”
Jane: “Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with
Rod and Freddy.”
Freddy ( looking sad ) “Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument.”
Rod ( to Jane ) “Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm
twanging
away?”
Jane: “Oh no, I was banging away with Freddy last night. But
would you like to play with my maracas?”
Zippy: “No, let's just pluck away with our twangers.”
George: “Yes, it doesn't matter what size our twanger is.”
Zippy: “I've got a big red one.”
George: “I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I
like to
play with it.”
Geoffrey (to viewers): “Well, have you got your twangers out? And
remember, you can bang your balls at the same time. If you haven't got
any, ask a friend if you can play with his. Now, let's all play the plucking
song.”
Everyone in studio: “Pluck, pluck, pluck along, we're going to pluck all
day.”
End

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Jokes Longer Jokes and Stories

Longer Jokes and Stories

Get Ready to Groan!

Version date: Aug 2002

Collated by: http://Gasonga.com/

Version: 1/00 Page No: 1

Bestsellers for Sex Jokes from Amazon.com

Version: 1/00 Page No: 2

Version: 1/00 Page No: 3

Call centre stuff

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone

Version: 1/00 Page No: 4

'Computer Call Centre Capers'

Version: 1/00 Page No: 5

20 things it took me 30 years to learn

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on

Version: 1/00 Page No: 6

Version: 1/00 Page No: 7

The Alternative Michelin Star Rating Scale

Version: 1/00 Page No: 8

Version: 1/00 Page No: 9

Version: 1/00 Page No: 10

Question and Answer

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Q: What’s likely to happen if you go to a seafood disco?

Q: Why are tractors magic?

Q: What’s the best answer phone message for a drug dealer?

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic?

Q: Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD's?

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.

A man walks into doctor's office.

Version: 1/00 Page No: 11

A chemist was robbed of a large quantity of viagra tablets last week.

Warning it’s a blonde joke

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.

Version: 1/00 Page No: 12

More Question and Answer

Q: Why was the ghost upset on Valentines Day?

Q. Have you seen Quasimodo?

Q. Vampire’s like cricket. How do we know?

Q: What do you call a monster with no neck?

Q: What do bees do with their honey?

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

Version: 1/00 Page No: 13

Q: What happens when frogs park illegally?

Q: Where do fortune-tellers dance?

Q: What’s likely to happen if you go to a seafood disco?

Q: What’s the best answer phone message for a drug dealer?

Q: Where does Saddam Hussein keep his CD's?

Visitors to Ireland should beware of street traders selling Pebbles.

A Shakespearian actor is on stage when an insect lands on him and stings

A Japanese tourist goes into an Australian bank to cash some travellers

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Sue and Bettie are discussing the gender of various items.

A man walks into doctor's office.

Wanted Insurance loss adjuster needed.

Wanted alcoholics anonymous manager

Curtain maker needed

Wanted Rabbit hutch repairman.

Wanted Dog Walkers,

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A chemist was robbed of a large quantity of viagra tablets last week.