Professional Documents
Culture Documents
com
Winter 2004-05
TM
$6.95
Newbies Guide
Swinging
East vs West
to
Soft Swing
Sexual Health
LifeStyle Magazine
Winter 2004-05
Features
Letter from the Publisher ....................2 East vs West
The European Way By Olaf .....................................................8
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What To Expect On Your Very First Visit To A Swing Club By Barbi Leigh and Ken ..............................14 Your Doorway To The LifeStyle By Dr. R. Lindsey ................................18
Product Reviews.................................17
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LifeStyle Business For Fun and Prot By Steven J. Weil ......................................34 Swing And STDs By Dr. Ziggy .............................................38
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Departments
Couples Questions by Dr. R. Lindsey .........................................4 Letters From Our Readers....................6 Fashion Fix Fabulous Firsts
LifeStyle Magazine On Location .......50 Club Listings .......................................54 Events & Conventions........................62
Whats Sexy This Winter? By Danielle ..............................................28 A Tale of Tricks and Treats By David Lawrence ....................................36
PUBLISHER
Dear Swingers;
LifeStyle Magazine
Winter 2004-05
Welcome to the second issue of LifeStyle MagazineTM. Its been a long hard road getting to this point, but you, our readers, are well worth it. The premier issue was very well received and we look forward to many years of serving the LifeStyle community. In this issue we are focusing on info and advice for those new to the LifeStyle and for those that are interested in testing out the waters. Were condent that some of the information will help even the most seasoned of swingers to achieve higher levels of satisfaction and understanding of this growing segment of the population.
Brian & Olga Depenbrock info@LifeStyleMagazine.com Gary Marshall gary@LifeStyleMagazine.com Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. 11776 W. Sample Road Suite 101 Coral Springs, FL 33065 954-755-7338 St. Ives Printing 2050 McKinley Street Hollywood, FL 33020
You may have seen some of the exciting new trends in the LifeStyle. We have worked with several mainstream media outlets to help promote the swing community and foster more acceptance by the general public. ABC 20/20, Oprah, Cinemax, VH1 and several other television outlets have found our LifeStyle to be of great interest to the public, and the willingness of these and other media staples to promote the LifeStyle in a good way is a signicant step in the right direction. Several mainstream magazines are also including articles about the LifeStyle. We work with everyone we can to make sure they fully understand OUR community. You can read some of those articles in magazines such as Details, Suede and a few others we cant mention at this time. If youve never been to a club, resort, convention or other LifeStyle event, we encourage you to give it a try. There is never any pressure to do anything, or anyone, at such events. Just sit back, relax, and soak up the environment. You should also try some of the LifeStyle websites such as SwingLifeStyle.com and SwingersBoard.com where you can meet people, seek advice or simply be entertained. We are still looking for volunteers to help make this magazine THE LifeStyle Magazine. Something we can all be proud of and call our own. If youd like to write and article, have your picture within our pages, or help in any way, contact us. A special thanks to all of our contributors, we couldnt do it without them. Keep in mind as you read through the magazine that all of our writers are in the LifeStyle and are helping us free of charge. We feel it is important to gather articles from those that want to promote the LifeStyle for the right reasons. Brian and Olga, Publishers.
Printer
LifeStyle Magazine Volume 1 Number 2 Winter 2004-05 Executive, editorial and advertising ofces at 11776 W. Sample Road, Suite 101 Coral Springs, FL 33065 LifeStyle Magazine is published quarterly (September, December, March and June) by Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C., LifeStyle Magazine and Start Your Sexual Revolution are trademarks of Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. All rights reserved. Copyright 2004 Blue Fox Publishing, L.L.C. Subscriptions may be purchased for LifeStyle Magazine. Visit our website for more information. LifeStyle Magazine will be distributed at clubs throughout the USA. To advertise please contact 954-755-7338 or e-mail advertising@LifeStyleMagazine.com
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COUPLES
Q
Dear Dr. R. Lindsey, Hi, I have a kind of weird question. There are three of us that live together. Well I guess you could say more than that because it is as a husband and two wives, at least that is what we consider ourselves. Because we are all dedicated to each other just like any other married couple, neither woman or the man would not, does not want to have anyone else. The only thing that is missing for it to be a three way marriage is the legal papers. This all started out with my wife #1 and myself, we are avid swingers and would meet with couples and singles. This is where wife #2 comes in; we, being my wife and myself, worked with wife #2. It started out with her being attracted to the husband and was flirting. Well, the husband told her we were married and yet she still was interested. So he invited her over to have some drinks and play around, everything went accordingly, and she ended up spending the night. Then returned almost everyday thereafter staying longer and longer. To make a long story short we both fell in love with her and she moved in. Now we are totally devoted to one another and we all swing together. We swing just like any other couple, same room, not without each other all the same as other swingers Here is the problem. We would like to swing with other couples and some singles (men and women) but a lot of couples are not interested. All we seem to get are single men wanting to play and often there are males wanting or thinking they are going to give one of us women something we are not getting from hubby. I just dont understand why we cant get a lot of response from couples. Please give us some help in this matter. Sexually yours, Bud, Sabrina, and Jasmine
Questions
A
Dear Bud, Sabrina, and Jasmine I have pondered your dilemma and have gone so far as to talk with two other triads to see if they share your challenges and to discover how they have dealt with them. Take comfort in knowing they feel the same way. Most people in the LifeStyle profess to be open minded and most individuals and couples have rules designed to address specic situations. Examples may include: no singles, no drugs, no taking one for the team etc. These rules are designed to promote comfort and safety in situations that are physically, socially, and emotionally complex. In addition, the majority of people in the LifeStyle are married and heterosexual, living as typical couples live in the plain vanilla world. They most often believe in a singular/ monogamous love relationship and consider their LifeStyle relationships in the category of friends with benets. The design of your relationship is different and therefore receives a different level of scrutiny, attention, and reactivity. In speaking with the other triads, they also have experienced feelings of being stared at, rejection, or different attention from singles. Your best bet is to discuss the nature of your relationship with potential playmates. You did a great job of describing it in the paragraph preceding your question. You will most likely receive some nervous grins, raised eyebrows, and some at out rejections along with Threes Company references. Be prepared for questions. Typical ones include, Do you all sleep in the same bed? How do you split the chores? What do you tell your kids and neighbors? Balance the benefits and happiness you derive from your relationship with the knowledge that your opportunities to play with other couples will most likely be reduced. You may also make attempts to seek out other triads. I found two and didnt have to search very far. Be well, Dr. R. Lindsey
Dear Dr. R. Lindsey, We are a happily married couple of many years and newbies in the lifestyle. We have vacationed at a swingers resort and tremendously enjoyed the sexually charged atmosphere. We have watched other couples swap partners for erotic fun including all out sexual intercourse. So you could say we have done some soft swinging but have yet to swap partners with another couple in bed for sex. We are eager to move to this full-swap/intercourse phase where we can sexually interact with other couples and enjoy sex with a variety of partners. We have a couple of questions for you that would help us newbies: 1. As newbies do you recommend that we get our rst partner swap sexual experience with an experienced couple or should we work with other newbies to fulll our sexual fantasies? 2. We are close friends with many couples for a number of years. When we socialize we kiss, tease, dance and have lots of fun, all without swapping partners for sex. We would like to swap partners with some of the friends for erotic fun in the nude and sexual intercourse. However, we do not know how to go about ascertaining which couples are open to the idea of swapping mates in bed for sex. We are looking for suggestions for querying these couples that would elicit a response in a non-threatening manner. We are looking for your suggestions. Thanks for your help.
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COUPLES QUESTIONS with DR. R. LINDSEY
Dear Dr. R. Lindsey, We have been in the lifestyle for going on eight years, and have found that a lot of people cant be honest, and have to be judgmental. They say theyre not Ken and Barbie and not looking for them, but when you meet them (if they show up) why do they act like theyre better than anyone else instead of just politely saying were not interested? Its like if youre not as good looking as them or better they wont give you the time of day. The way we see the LifeStyle is that it doesnt matter what a person looks like, fun is fun. Signed Confused in the LifeStyle Dear Confused, I share your disappointment with couples that lack verbal correspondence. This means that they talkthe-talk but dont walk-the-walk. I believe that most people aspire to be tolerant, accepting, and kind. No one aspires to be supercial. We all strive to be better than that as our values tell us that character is more substantive than cosmetics. The reality is that looks do matter. There is an incredibly strong psycho-biological link between perceived physical attractiveness, arousal, and desire. Similarly, ones feelings toward age, race, gender, habits etc., inuence the degree to which one couple may or may not choose to play with another. To deal with this one must examine ones own expectations within the context of what is known about human nature. Being in the LifeStyle does not make one immune to the challenges of being human. People will be inconsistent. You can expect to be stood up, turned downed, and snubbed. You must attempt to balance these experiences with the opportunity to meet new friends, develop exciting relationships, and finding other couples that talk-thetalk and walk-the-walk. I encourage you to keep trying. There are many friendships to be made. The best are often difficult to find. Sincerely, Dr. R. Lindsey
In response to the rst part of your question, I suggest that as you move toward your rst full swap experience, approach it as an exploratory and experimental journey and review your rules rst. Next, seek out a more experienced couple to mentor you. Be honest and open. Let them know this is new for you. In our experience, our LifeStyle mentors took extra care to see to our safety, comfort, and pleasure. It is always best to have an experienced guide when traveling to a new place. In response to part two of your question I encourage you to approach long-term friends with caution. If they are not in the LifeStyle, approach the topic with great care. You may begin to share your experiences in a nonthreatening manner. Tell some stories of your LifeStyle experiences and gage their response. We have many plain vanilla friends that enjoy being naked in the hot tub, shared massage, and dirty dancing, but have no interest or are not condent enough as a couple to be in the LifeStyle. Dont sacrice a good friendship by potentially offending or intimidating another couple. The LifeStyle isnt for everybody nor does it have to be. Good journey, Dr. R. Lindsey
Just send an e-mail to DrRLindsey@LifeStyleMagazine.com If your question gets published well send you a FREE LifeSyle Magazine Hat.
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West ast vs E
The club had more the touch of a private party with an intimate setting.
The club owner greeted us personally, we paid our cover charge and he led us into the club room. Wow, what a difference! Cozy sofa areas with candlelight and couch tables. Background music and a small area that would allow some dancing, but nobody was dancing. People were gathered in little groups around the tables and bar area. There were no more than 12 couples and a few singles, which, as we found out later that evening, was a perfectly average crowd for a Saturday night. The main room wasnt very big or spacious, although it had quite an intimate atmosphere. We went to the bar to get a drink and a few minutes later some of the other club guests approached us to introduce themselves, since new faces are rarely seen. We were happy to notice, that the typically stubborn Germans were so outgoing and talkative. Wed like to
mention at this point, that it seems to be a lot harder to strike a conversation or to really meet new people in an American club. Maybe its just because of the usually very loud music there. Six years have passed since then and we still enjoy going out for a club night, sometimes just for a social evening, to meet friends for a drink and dinner, other times for a sexy, playful night. Our last vacation we spent in Germany and decided to explore the European Swinger scene. Neither one of us had ever visited a German Swingers club before, so we picked two clubs that were recommended by some friends of ours. We pulled up their websites, to get some more information, about the location as well as the house rules, etc. The cover charge for a single evening is pretty similar to the U.S. clubs, but thats about where the similarities end. The site said Woman dress sexy and Men dress sexy too! My husband looked at me stunned What do they mean? he asked. So we browsed through the member pictures to get an idea and went shopping for sexy mens wear the next day. The big day came and we entered the club, covered in a coat, scarf, long pants and boots, since the outside temperatures didnt quite allow to just walk around, wearing a hint of nothing. Once inside the club, we found ourselves in a big locker room, where we were able to unwrap and nally show off our sexy outts. Thankfully, the room was nicely heated. We felt very comfortable after just few minutes there, especially my husband, after he saw that he wasnt the only man wearing sexy mens wear! Drinks and a Dinner-buffet were included in the cover charge, so there was no need to B.Y.O.B. Beverages, beer, wine, as well as a variety of hard liqueurs were offered. As is customary in Europe, no tips were needed or expected. After a while we were, of course, curious to see the play rooms, so we wandered off to explore the rest of the facility. There were different little theme rooms, each one uniquely designed and decorated with love; cozy and quite inviting. A few couples were playing already, but their was no trafc jam. For the ones who liked it hot, there was a sauna. For the ones who needed to relax or loosen up, free massages were offered. Last but not least, we found clean, spacious shower rooms for both genders, to freshen up after a steamy encounter. That evening we happened to meet some wonderful people and left the
Have you ever been to Europe? For all of the readers who have visited this other continent, they will agree, that you notice lots of differences instantly when you leave the airport and for example hit the Autobahn in Germany. People not only talk a different language, they live a completely different lifestyle as well. We are a German couple and both of us grew up and lived in Germany for a long time. For the past 10 years we have resided in the U.S. and that is where we started to get involved with the so called lifestyle or you could just say being swingers. We still remember our rst visit to a local club here in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. My husband told me to dress sexy, he himself put on a dressy shirt and some nice pants. Since we really had no idea what to expect, we were kind of surprised, to nd a nice bar area, a spacious dance oor, loud contemporary music playing and lots of normal looking people, who just enjoyed the social aspect of the whole situation. One of the friendly staff members gave us a tour around the club, showing us the locker rooms and play rooms, which were completely separated from the, lets call it social playground. We liked it, especially the fact that we felt comfortable enough to hang around for a few hours, without the feeling, that we had to interact or do something as a newbie.
There were different little theme rooms, each one uniquely designed and decorated with love; cozy and quite inviting.
club not too late, maybe around 2 a.m., with a happy grin on our faces. Overall we thought that this night was denitely different from a club night in Fort Lauderdale. Not necessarily better, just very different. The club had more the touch of a private party with an intimate setting. Although the same swinger rules apply everywhere, were pretty sure that anybody whos new to the Lifestyle, would prefer an American club for their rst night out, due to the fact that the facilities in the U.S. are generally set up for a larger crowd, more like a regular night club. To all the swingers who are already a little more outgoing and like to comfortably present themselves in an intimate setting surrounded by strangers, wed like to say You have to see this! Enjoy the European way!
www.swingfreunde.de
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special feature
its about
do you know?
Many forms of sexual expression practiced by millions of American adultsincluding, SM and swingingare still illegal in many areas under antiquated sex laws Prejudiced, puritanical regulations and law enforcement are used regularly against people who enjoy alternative sexual expression Anti-gay bigots, racists and sexists, urged on by religious right, continue to use sex to marginalize and persecute minority groups
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Writing
Perfect
Personal Ad
By: Geoff
The
There is no exact science for creating a personal ad or prole. But with a little bit of time, effort, and creativity, you can increase your responses dramatically.
It can be argued that creating an ad for couples is four times as difcult as creating one for singles. In most cases both you and your spouse (or signicant other) have to like both members of the other couple. In turn, both of them have to like both of you if any fun is to be had at all. Try to include an equal amount of information for each of you in your prole. An equal amount of pictures of both of you is also nice to see. I get very wary when I read a nice ad, then see ten pictures of the female and none of the male. Looking at ten different poses of the same person in the same outt doesnt do much to create excitement either. And, while taking close-ups of cocks (it can make them look larger, just like the burger commercials on TV) and pussies can add to the spousal thrill, looking at them is like looking at a picture of a spot on a leopard. They are all different, but not much fun to gaze at. Use a variety of facial closeups and full body shots, with and without clothing. Glamour shots arent necessary and are especially hard to get when taking pictures of sexual action. It is nice, however, to see at least one picture with makeup on a lady and a picture of the man without his Harley. Refrain from using wedding pictures. Nobody looks that good anymore, unless you got married to your favorite swinging single the day before. How much detail is necessary? Enough to spark interest, but not so much that you kill a chance of meeting a decent couple. Unfortunately, there is not an overabundance us who are so drop dead gorgeous that we have to hire a personal secretary to sift through mountains of responses on a daily basis. In case you are so hot as to make others wish that they look like you in their wildest fantasies, then youll probably want to be very specic about your requirements so as to steer clear of lots of thanks-but-no-thanks answers. For the rest of us, the trick is to appear open enough to generate interest while at the same time be detailed enough to attract likely playmates. If you have had an ad for quite some time and dont feel that you are catching the attention of those that you want, feel free to change some words or phrases, while not making yourselves look like people that you arent. Sometimes, no matter how much you drool over what you think is a supremely compatible couple, they just wont be interested. Dont sweat it. Simply move on. Spellcheck... use it. Enough said. Remember the 59 Ford? Maybe now it reads: For sale, 59 Ford pickup truck for use in an open eld on a starry night. Included are a mid 40s couple, naked and dripping with desire. He is bisexual, and (with the aid of a handful of Viagra) will stay hard for hours. She is straight, and while she doesnt mind rubbing butts with another female while howling at the moon, she will not turn into a Lickolotapuss on request.
You arent competing with Shakespeare. Write one sentence at a time. Just use your own words Like anything else, if you want to get something out of a and let it ow. personal ad, especiallyan ad for couples, then you have to
put something into it. Have you ever looked for a car in the classieds? What would you do if you saw one that just said 59 Ford? 59 Ford what? is what I would ask myself. Rather than calling the owner to nd out if there was air conditioning, a CD player, faded paint, cracked windows or how many miles were on the vehicle, most of us would skip the ad and go on to the next one. Personal ads are the same way. You have to give your prospective playmates something to pursue. Heres a hopeful suggestion to take some of the pain out of trying to nd the perfect words for the perfect couple (singles also apply); take some mental notes on proles that you like and incorporate them into your own prole. You arent competing with Shakespeare. Write one sentence at a time. Just use your own words and let it ow. Creativity sparks interest. Maybe instead of saying we like to watch pornos, try we would love to have the right couple over to watch Vanessa del Rios Greatest Orgasms DVD on our 130 inch high denition TV. Or rather than my tits are 34B, try my husband loves to ick his tongue on my perky peaches with their hard strawberry-colored nipples. Or one of my personal favorites, If youre horny and you know it, clap your hands. Lose the Ken and Barbie clich. Nobodys perfect, and most of us would rather play with people instead of dolls. Dont be afraid to be a little bit different. How many of us have gotten all hot and bothered about a couple only to meet them and immediately think, holy, shit! This isnt the kind of couple we wanted? Was it the perception that you got from their prole or the perception that they got from yours? Probably a combination of both. Adding general but important detail on either side may help you avoid needlessly wasting time for all. Dont be afraid to mention that you have asthma and that meeting in a smoky bar might not be a good idea. Include in your ad if goatees are a huge turn off or that you have fourteen kids and cant entertain or that great big asses remind you of your bitchy mother-in-law.
We love to enjoy a Big Mac with a glass of merlot before sex. Looking for a like couple whose main source of entertainment is NOT farting the theme song to Snow White. Hard passionate kissing is desired but not mandatory. He is wanting the female to be unshaved and the male to have at least half of his natural teeth. Her only requirement is that the male walk upright. Truck has very good suspension and we will even provide a mattress if desired. Will respond to all inquiries. Dont be afraid, get laid! There is no exact science for creating a personal ad or prole. But with a little bit of time, effort, and creativity, you can increase your responses dramatically and hopefully get some quality along with the quantity that will make your swinging experience a good one.
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Most people have the wrong idea of what a swing club is. Many think that its just one big orgy; that you check your clothes at the door and then dive right in, doing anything you want with whomever you like. This is completely not the case! More than anything else, its a social club where youll meet and form friendships with some of the nicest people youve ever met. In some cases, youll form bonds that will last a lifetime.
youll both be completely comfortable, shes not worried about him wanting to dive into the rst orgy he sees, and hes not worried about deciding who is worthy of touching his precious wife.
Swing Club
great sex together. Knowing that right on the other side of the wall, another couple (or threesome, foursome or moresome) is doing the same. In fact you can even hear their sexy sounds through the walls, which multiplies your excitement.
Everything you see here, everything you do going here, must remain here on. And maybe when you leave here. youll engage in
easily view all the exciting activities in the room down below you, yet far enough away to accommodate your comfort zone. You feel like youre part of the activities though not needing to participate in them. Its like youre sitting in an adult theater watching the most erotic orgy youve ever seen, except this time it isnt a movie. The action is real and live! dancing beside on the dance oor. There is room next to them so you spread your beach towels out on the mattress beside them and lay down. You begin kissing and playing with your mate, when after a little while the pretty girl of the couple beside you gently touches your arm to extend an invitation to touch them back. You respond to her touch not really knowing yet how much touching or caressing will take place, but knowing full well that either couple can say no at any time and set any limits they desire. Maybe the ladies only touch each other while the men each pleasure their own wives. Maybe the men are massaging both the ladies entire bodies or maybe the ladies are stroking the other man while having sex with her husband. Who knows what might happen on this special magical night, its all up to you and those involved with you. Maybe she might enjoy giving you oral while her husband services her from behind, youll be sure to see plenty of that full partner sharing with a complete exchange of partners. Its entirely up to you and those involved, this is your night, you set your own limits. At the end of the night, maybe youll exchange phone numbers with this other couple or maybe youll just enjoy seeing them at Your club once in a while. Remember, its all up to you.
Besides, you dont want to be rude or judgmental, because you wouldnt want it to happen to you. If a single gentleman talks to you and you are interested in swinging with couples only, that doesnt mean you cant be nice to him. Hes a person just like you! Just politely let him know.
Then one (or a few) of the following things will denitely happen...
1 - At the end of the night after dinner
and dancing, you will both go home with each other and after dancing all evening in such a sexually charged environment you will both have the best mind-blowing orgasms during your love-making that youve had in years, probably recharging your sex life and supercharging your relationship and your marriage.
it happens to everyone, including women), do not take personal offense. Rejection is a very personal thing, and its almost as hard to reject as it is to be rejected. Honesty with each other is crucial.
2 - While on the
crowded dance oor, during one of the slow songs, youre dancing together and an attractive couple is dancing beside you and her clothes are coming off. You nd her body rubbing against yours on the dance oor. You both respond by touching and caressing them back. Then after the song, you disappear into the crowd enjoying the excitement of the nameless pleasure of this slight, yet sexy, anonymous encounter.
4 - You both decide to be a little adventurous. You secure your clothes in a locker and wrap up in two giant beach towels, both provided complimentarily by the playroom attendant. You go to the giant Jacuzzi for a bit where you can enjoy being naked. Since youre shy, on your rst visit you feel more comfortable being in the water where your hands can roam, playing with each other (and maybe others too) under water. Although not in obvious plain view of everyone, others might be engaged in all sorts of easily viewable activities in the Jacuzzi, your play brings you close to climax. 5 - You both know that you want to see more, but youre not sure about how much you want to participate in. So wrapped in your little security blanket beach towels you venture into the main upstairs Luvnasium party complex. One gigantic mattress covering several entire rooms, surrounded by mirrored walls with tropical plants, lighting, ceiling fans and naked bodies, lots of them. You dont get on the mattress, but instead you nd a comfortable viewing location, close enough to
Who knows? You could end up with a great friendship if you handle the situation right.
4 - Deal with jealousy head on! It is a normal reaction. Remember that this is strictly a physical & recreational pleasure, not an emotional one. Discover what triggers jealousy in your relationship and work it out together. It may mean modifying your activities, but your relationship together is not worth jeopardizing over swinging. 5 - Always let your steady partner
know she or he is number one. Arrive together, take time to caress them, touch base often; it makes one feel secure. And always leave together.
the evening that you go into one of the many cozy, private rooms, lock the door behind you and dim the chandelier. Then, seeing each other in the mirrors that surround you, enjoy
6 - Use your common sense and good judgment when you are involved in a swinging situation. Be kind, thoughtful and sensitive. Swingers, couples & single guys are people and have feelings too!
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Always let your steady partner know she or he is number one. Arrive together, take time to caress them, touch base often; it makes one feel secure. And, always leave together.
7 - Honor any and all prior
understandings and rules you have made between each other, and be sure to communicate with each other openly and honestly so there are no misunderstandings about your rules.
Product Reviews
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you set as a couple and communicate them to prospective partners. Open, honest communication is imperative to forming relationships! And please dont forget to respect the guidelines of others. Dont try to talk them into changing their rules because you dont happen to agree with them!
language. There is more to interaction than words. Consider the body language of the person you are talking
with and it will tell you more than the conversation you are having! Be sensitive to the person and you will know what makes them uncomfortable or happy and excited.
10 - Demand absolute discretion and be worthy of the same. Discretion is paramount in this LifesStyle! Privacy
is imperative! Never, ever discuss details inappropriately. Everything you do, everything you see, must remain private. We have a saying, Everything you see here, everything you hear here, must remain here when you leave here.
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The Internet and personal ads are mass media approaches to learning about and entering the LifeStyle.
One could spend all day writing messages, responding to email, and chatting on line. Dont allow yourself to be sucked in to this. Use the Internet as a tool. Do not let it replace direct communication and face to face interaction with others. In addition, if you have had a long-term relationship with another couple, entering this territory may be stressful and could change the nature of your relationship. We have found that some friends will just be friends and some will be friends with benets. Ultimately, knowing someone helps in any new endeavor. Finding another couple to mentor you is a great way start. You can adopt this strategy in a deliberate fashion if you decide to. Let people know that you are newbies. Look for friendship rst. Look for couples that share common interests in addition to sex.
E
the benets and challenges of each.
Personal Advertisements
Personal advertisements are the forerunners to Internet dating. Personal ads may be found in many LifeStyle focused magazines and periodicals. Typically the personal ad is more direct and to the point because you pay by the line. Personal ads may include photographs, physical descriptions and social and sexual preferences. This helps the reader pick and choose who to contact in a more deliberate fashion. However, the same benets and challenges apply here as with Internet dating. The Internet and personal ads are mass media approaches to learning about and entering the LifeStyle. Remember to use your head and be sensible in using these doorways.
Every journey begins with a rst step. For newbies (a new couple) entry into the LifeStyle may begin through many different doorways. These doorways include but are not limited to: the Internet, personal ads in magazines, introduction by friends, going
to an off-premise club, visiting an on-premise club, attending a house party, vacationing at a LifeStyle friendly resort, and attending a convention. This article will examine each of these doorways and explore
Introduction by Friends
Many couples have told me that they stumbled into the LifeStyle. Often, they became aware of a couple that was in the LifeStyle, became curious, asked questions, and began to explore. Typically, ones friends would not have brought it up if they didnt feel that the novice couple was tolerant, open minded, and had the potential to enjoy the LifeStyle in a healthy manner. Sometimes these initial conversations prompt invitations to small intimate gatherings, house parties, or trips to a local club. Having friends assist you as trusted tour guides can be very helpful in taking your rst steps. However, nding friends like this are rare. Most couples keep their LifeStyle activities private. In fact, it wasnt until we entered the LifeStyle that we became aware that many of our friends, neighbors, and relatives were part of the club.
The Internet
The Internet is by far the fastest and least expensive way to explore the LifeStyle. There are free and fee-for-service sites that provide educational information, calendars of events, chat rooms, and the ever popular personal proles. The internet has expanded and connected our world in so many ways and has truly brought the LifeStyle out of the closet. Benets of the Internet are that it provides a simple and safe way to learn about the LifeStyle and meet other couples. However, the reliability of Internet sources and the large volume of information may be overwhelming. In researching this article I randomly selected a free local Yahoo Group for swingers. Upon examination it had over 1500 proles with members from 32 states. Sifting through all the choices is a daunting task. In addition one must also maintain a buyer beware attitude when deciding to internet date. My wife and I have encountered couples whose photographs were ten years out of date, manipulated, or just posted under false pretenses. We have been stood up on more than one occasion and we have prepared to meet a couple only to encounter a single male or female. One must always take steps to ensure personal safety. Never go alone and always meet in a public venue. Chat rooms and message boards are other methods of meeting singles and couples via the Internet. Most LifeStyle sites offer these services to get their members talking, answer questions, promote events, and sadly to gossip.
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Most conventions offer seminars which are great opportunities to learn the ropes, meet people, dispel myths, and reduce anxiety.
Vacationing at a LifeStyle Friendly Resort
Vacationing at a LifeStyle friendly resort is another way to begin your adventure. These resorts cater to open minded singles and couples, many are all inclusive, and most are clothing optional. However, you must remember that not all nudists are swingers and not all swingers are nudists. These resorts are adult oriented and sponsor activities and parties that promote sexy fun. Many couples travel to these resorts unaware of the LifeStyle and observe their rst experiences at these resorts. Although these resorts are full of sexy fun they are also full of other activities typical of vacation destinations. This is great for newbies because there is always something to see and do. Similarly, there is a degree of anonymity and distance in exploring the LifeStyle far away from home. It parallels the mentality of What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. This feeling of freedom combined with the erotic atmosphere is a seductive combination. However, these experiences do require time away from work, money to pay for it, and are not designed for the family. If you can work around these challenges, you can expect to have a great time at a great price with memories to last a lifetime. Most conventions offer seminars which are great opportunities to learn the ropes, meet people, dispel myths, and reduce ones anxiety. Serious topics often include: An Orientation to Lifestyle Etiquette, Rule Making and Breaking, Coping with Jealousy, How to Meet and Greet, and How to Say No and Still Be Friends. Fun topics may include: Intimate Massage Classes, Sexy Photography, The Art of Mutual Masturbation, and How to Strip for Your Man. Most conferences offer packages that include rooms, meals and activities. They sponsor contests, pool parties, and evening events such as dances and other entertainment. Conventions provide a great venue to meet a large number of other couples. Conferences come in many sizes. Some are large with over 3000 attendees and cover many venues. Others are more intimate, restricting their numbers to around 300-400 couples and take place in a single venue assuring privacy and safety. Newer, more progressive conventions have taken the most attractive aspects of the internet, on-premise clubs, and vacation resorts and combined them into a 3-4 day stateside experience. Many conventions have their own Yahoo group with member proles, email and chat. They sponsor great parties with great entertainment, food, and dancing. Some create beautiful and elaborate theme rooms for late night sexy fun. Remember, if you come to a convention, dont arrive with expectations but expect to have a great time.
Clubs can be loud and smoke lled and you still must overcome the typical anxieties that we all face when meeting new people.
and manners go a long way. Remember, basic LifeStyle etiquette should always be employed. You may also encounter groups of people that appear to be cliquish. Most often they are just friends that are comfortable with one another and are not intentionally trying to exclude anyone from the conversation. Try not to be offended or angered if you feel ignored. In addition, many off-premise clubs admit single males and females at inated and reduced rates respectively. Therefore you may encounter the advances of single club attendees. Many nd this is uncomfortable and unwanted. Some see singles as being on the prowl; others view this as an opportunity to make a new friend. Either way, prepare for this type of interaction so you may handle it in a manner that is direct, respectful, and right for you. If you do meet others that you are interested in it is best to be ready. You may consider making special business cards with contact information (email address, screen name, phone). Some couples go so far as to print their photograph on their cards. Exchanging information is a great way to express mutual interest and begin communicating with other couples. needs of private parties, semi-private groups, and open groups of playful people. Voyeurism is often encouraged and enhances the experience of those being watched. This is a feast for the senses. The sights, sounds, smells, and energy may be extremely arousing. For new couples this may be a bit overwhelming. Be assured that you do not have to do anything and never allow yourself to be pressured. Know that these clubs represent the glitzy, high energy aspect of the LifeStyle. The club scene isnt for every couple and there are other options and venues for you to explore.
Attending a Convention
Convention attendance is an excellent way to enter the LifeStyle. In fact, it is how my wife and I were introduced (a story for another time). Conferences offer a wide range of activities to attendees, many of which are designed with newbies in mind.
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Whats
Fetish?
SWINGING is a fetish,
watching, orgies, sharing. Yep, all fetishes.
Just like swinging, Fetishes are anything from mild to wild. From tickling with a feather to spanking and restraint. In this issue well cover the broad fetish of BDSM. BDSM is a Lifestyle of its own and those that live the lifestyle occupy one or more parts of the BDSM triad:
Your
BD
SM
BD DS SM
Fire-Ice Swinging Foot/Shoe worship Flogging-Paddles-Whips CBT (Cock and Ball torture) Ouch! Bondage Silk scarf, rope, handcuffs Spanking (who doesnt like a good spankin) Wax (be sure you use the right wax to avoid injury)
DominantSubmissive
DS
Sadomasochism
For Pain, when the Sub/Bottom enjoys such
BD
SM
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Safe: A red
participants remain in control; it is for fun and amusement, not for going crazy.
Sane: All
Getting started:
Find a local group or try out a club and learn. You can nd local groups and clubs on the Internet or in magazines and brochures at adult book stores.
There is no pain in the BDSM lifestyle, unless that is what you want. A few books of interest: SM101 by Jay Wiseman Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns by Philip Miller The movie Secretary is also a decent example of a Sub/Dom relationship.
Consensual:
Boundaries are agreed upon by both the Dom and the Sub.
Many Subs wear a collar as if it were a wedding ring and usually will have more than one collar (vanilla for a night at the movies, or a more noticeable one for a night of play). In a Top Bottom relationship, the participants are having fun for a short period of time, such as a powerful executive that relieves stress by being a Bottom for an evening. Generally, one is either a Dom/Top or a Sub/Bottom. A few people qualify as a switch and can do both. It seems on the surface that it would be fun to do both, but once youve given it a try, youll usually nd that only one speaks to you.
A true fetish club IS NOT: A place to nd a professional Dominatrix; you pay for entry to the club, not for someone to abuse you. A true fetish club IS NOT: A dress up party where you need to buy expensive outts and equipment just to get in the door. Many true fetish clubs have an open door policy where most anyone can pay to enjoy a party, no special clothing is required just to watch and try things out. Just call and ask before you attend. Females can generally wear anything they wish, regular club wear is ne. Making a wardrobe decision can be a bit more difcult for men, but for your rst visit, basic black will help you blend in. If youre interested, give a club a call and take a chance. No one will grab you and tie you up, unless you ask, and youre free to simply watch. If you do want to play, youll usually need your own toys.
A Top or a Dom is generally the one in control, or at least thats the way it appears on the surface. Bottom or Sub is being controlled. In actuality, the Bottom/Sub is in control of the experience and dictates what they will allow. In a Dom/Sub relationship, the participants generally live as Dom/Sub, on an ongoing basis. The Dom controls the Subs life to a large extent, not as a slave, but as an elected leader. For the Sub, your Dom IS your world, you live and breathe for this person, not because you are weak or weird, just because you feel you need to be told what to do. Many marriages are Dom/Sub relationships. A Sub feels that they exist for and because of their Dom. In a marriage, one partner usually becomes the Sub in many things; Whats for dinner is an example. For a Sub, if the Dom is happy, the Sub is happy.
Most fetishes are M-F, although there are some F-F partners. M-M fetish partners are generally in their own community. In many ways, a marriage is a compromise, or is it a switch? The male in a marriage is usually responsible for certain parts of a marriage and the female for other parts. Both partners switch.
Dominance is the ultimate form of Submission. Without your Sub, you have no control, thus the Sub, by obeying the Dom, controls the Dom. The Sub decides to obey or not.
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We were surprised to discover that, just like swingers, these people are often misunderstood.
There seems to be two classes of BDSM; those that play dress up and those that play for real. Many parties and stores are in the dress up camp, with party goers in outlandish outts trying to outdo each other. Its a Halloween party every weekend. Attendees are generally required to dress the part (a potentially expensive endeavor) but this helps maintain that fantasy world they seek since everyone is dressed in theme. I dont have a foot fetish, but man alive, some of those sexy long fetish boots make my pants get tight. The other camp are those that live and play for this lifestyle. Sure, they dress up, but dress up is not the point and is not required. Visiting clubs such as Club Kink in Pompano Beach, FL (www.clubkink.com) is a relaxing, no pressure experience. Well, I say relaxing, but it was a very exciting experience. Relaxing from the standpoint of not being required to dress up or participate. Relaxing to have a drink, discuss a variety of topics and be around open minded people. Exciting to watch people play with BD, DS and SM, all in a safe, comfortable environment.
My wife and I recently visited a few Fetish/BDSM stores, parties and clubs as research for this article. We were surprised to discover that, just like swingers, these people are often misunderstood. At rst we were very hesitant about this article and more hesitant about visiting a club. We quickly discovered that those in the BDSM Lifestyle are regular people, with regular professions, just like us swingers.
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FaSHIONx
Despite our shape, part of being a woman is an eternal dissatisfaction with our bodies. Most of us have some feature that makes us cringe when we look in a dressing room mirror. The good news is you dont need a fabulous body to look good. The secret is knowing how to hide the parts you want to forget and bring attention to the parts you love. Accentuate the one part of your physique you like most, show off those great breasts in a velvet corset, long legs in a leather mini, shoulders in something strapless or a tiny waist with a rhinestone belt. Draw the attention where you want it!
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FaSHIONx
FaSHIONx
How to select the perfect jeans for your body type. Are you...
Short Waisted: Select low slung, hip-hugger styles, which will give you the illusion of having a longer torso. Long Torso: Choose a pair with a dened waist, which will make your bottom half look longer and leaner. Plus-Size, Wide Hips: Try jeans with a slight are at the leg, which will help to balance your hips. Look for jeans with a bit of stretch for comfort, and back pockets that are large and closely-spaced. Very Slim: Go for a pair with simple styling and tapered legs, for a more classic look, or straight legs for a trendier effect.
Petite: Select a pair with straight legs, worn on the long side with a high heel to give you a taller silliouette. The nishing touches on an evening jeans look? Go for the glitz here, adding rhinestones, chandelier earrings or hoops. Next, one of the highlights of the winter season, add sexy shoes. Dressed-up jeans call for more dramatic footwear. Sexy, strappy heels lengthen your legs, as long as your jeans are long enough to cover most of the heel. Try a pair with pointed toes and a slender heel for instant chic.
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Reason
Staying attractive is good for you. Nothing is more motivation to stay on a diet, or exercise then the prospect of a swing party. Many times we stop maintaining our attractiveness when we settle in a relationship. If we want to be swappable we need to shake that up. This is not always just about looking like a 10 but attractiveness is about the attitude of a 10.
I have written several articles about how fun sex can be and have been asked, why swing? Taking excerpts from our favorite authors Ed and Danas Consider Swinging, here are the top ten reasons to swing. Remember Swinging is recreational sex. Responsible non-monogamy. Many couples bowl together for fun and recreation, swingers have sex for fun and recreation. Here is how it can work:
Reason
Play dress up. Yes! Finally an environment that gives you the opportunity to wear those daring dresses and leather lingerie. You can shop the adult catalogs and stores and have a place to show off. You will not get arrested, assaulted or laughed at. Most women and men enjoy dressing up and strutting their stuff.
Reason
Satisfy your appetite for variety. You probably have a loving, wonderful, sexy partner but why limit yourself? Big muscles, big boobs, shapely butt or pendulous penis, blondes, red heads, brunette or bald, on top, on bottom, on the side, it is all out there. Life is a smorgasbord of delights. Step up to the feast!
Reason Reason
Enjoyable company. Swingers are the kind of people that are exciting and fun to be with. They are happy, honest, vibrant, intelligent, attractive and very friendly. Swingers enjoy being swingers all the time. The club environment is free but swingers are great fun at parties, picnics, movies, dinner, ball games and any place people go for fun and recreation. Everythings better when shared with wonderful people.
Getting your fantasies fullled. Two ladies? Three men? Same sex? Intimate moment with a stranger? Being watched? Watching others? Large piles of anonymous esh? If you can fantasize about it, the swing lifestyle can help fulll it. Swing is about consensual and discreet participants hosting your fantasy.
Reason
Good friends. Nothing outside your own family is more valuable than friendship. If you are one of the lucky ones, you have a few really good friends. Stick around swingers for a while and you will nd several more. This intimate lifestyle is the perfect venue for meeting other couples that truly share your interests and approach to life.
Reason
Improve your sexual technique. You and your partner may be very adept lovers but you dont know what you dont know. Some things need to be seen and practiced, not just read about.
Reason
A very healthy lifestyle. Most swinging scenes discourage heavy alcohol consumption, prohibit drug use and can provide good cardiopulmonary exercise. The best way to stay healthy and avoid colds is to know there is a social event coming up soon. Swinging will get you out and about more often than any other hobby.
Reason
Better friends. The sad truth is jealousy; envy and similar sexual issues break friendships among couples. The second best reason to swing is the positive effects it can have on friendships. There is no reason to hide your desire for your friends partner when that desire is openly welcomed. There is no reason to be fearful of your partner having an affair behind your back when you enjoy watching and joining in. It is fantastic when everyone is relaxed and real; the sexual tensions are removed from the friendship.
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LifeStyle
Visit any LifeStyle club and youll see cross-promotions for travel and web sites. Stop in at one of the many LifeStyle conventions held across the country and youll nd a myriad of vendors. These vendors sell: adult toys, club wear, jewelry, travel, fetish wear, leather products, tattoos and everything else imaginable that can be related in any way to sex or the LifeStyle.
What makes lifestylers an attractive market? (Yeah I know, that was easy.) Its the demographics. Look around at any club or event. Your fellow party goers are probably between 30 and 50 years old with above average disposable incomes. This is a group that thrives on conspicuous consumption and immediate gratication. Luxury vehicles, designer clothes and frequent, often exotic vacations are common. Lifestylers dont just know how to have fun, theyve perfected it. When was the last time you saw unhappy people at a club or convention?
There are many choices to be made in setting up a LifeStyle business. Should you incorporate? Should you elect S corporate status? Would it be better to do business as a Limited Liability Company (LLC). Is a partnership or limited partnership right for you? Each of these choices affects your personal liability and your tax status. There is no right entity that ts everyones needs. So how do you choose? Its best to review your business plans and objectives along with your personal nancial and tax status with a competent accountant who will help you to understand the pros and cons of each choice. This will allow you to make the choice that best meets your needs and objectives. Then theres the legal components. There are tax and liability matters to consider. For example, do you sell a
product, run a website, throw parties or do anything else that could result in some sort of legal trouble? You need to determine your liability and protect yourself. Your accountant and attorney need to know this is a LifeStyle business, so tell them up front to avoid any foreseeable problems later. In addition, what happens if your business does not make a prot? Business losses are deductible but hobby losses are not. Setting up your business the right way can insure that you get all the tax benets of business ownership. If you have business losses you will be able to deduct them from your other income, which may reduce the taxes you pay. Always remember, as with any business, its important to keep your books and records in compliance with all federal, state and local tax laws and to file and pay all the correct taxes. There are people who want to limit your rights and control what you can and cannot do. Tax laws are powerful tools to effect results where the courts and law enforcement have been unable or unwilling. Remember that Al Capone never went to jail for murder, conspiracy or even bootlegging. He did go to jail for federal tax evasion. So be sure to
file for federal and state income taxes, and to collect and remit any sales taxes due. Aside from it being the right thing to do, it makes you a good member of the business community. And you certainly dont want to give any small minded, uptight, misguided activist any ammunition to use against you and your fellow LifeStyle business owners. As you can see, setting up a LifeStyle business isnt just a matter of getting a product and a mail list. There are many things to consider. Reading this article is the first step. The next time you visit a club or convention take a few minutes and ask yourself a few questions. How many of my friends are here on tax deductible business? How many are expanding their current business? Could I do business in this environment? Then go have fun. Thats what were all here for anyway.
Steven J. Weil, PhD EA is a principal of Naked Accounting which specializes in accounting services for adult and LifeStyle Businesses. www.nakedaccounting.com.
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FabulouS FirStS
Things that Go Bump, and Grind, in the Night
FabulouS FirStS
& Treats!
W
LifeStyle Departments
A Tale of
Tricks
By David Lawrence
immediate reaction was shock, Mike says. But shock, combined with the effects of a few hours of alcohol, probably kept people from walking out of the room. We had agreed our witch would only invite Mike up to dance with her, Andrea recalls. That was the arrangement and wed see where things went from there. And so thats what happened. At rst. I couldnt believe how turned on I got seeing her dance with my boyfriend, Andrea says. I wasnt even registering others reactions as she began to take off her clothing and also started to strip Mike. I was just lost in my own erotic sensations, being a voyeur to what was turning into a live sex show. Then I joined in. As Andrea and Mike report, their threesome frolicked and fondled to the music, partially undressed, while everyone sat glued, in full costume. After a few dances, the wondrous witch turned to the others and invited everyone to join in. And most did, surprisingly, though one couple did exit quietly. The beat went on. The groups gyrations intensied, and pirates pants melded with monsters masks in corners of the room. Our guests became very un-costumed, Andrea laughs. But not unhinged. Mike says that it was his turn to be shocked as the witch and the women played on the dance oor, hugging each other, rubbing breasts, kissing. The men mostly watched while trying to join in the dancing. But after a while, the women became irresistible and the guys, cautiously, even gentlemanly, as Mike puts it, put their hands in, feeling their own partners, initially, but then getting bolder and reaching out for other women. The music continued, the witch heated things up by moving among the dancers, men and women. The action got wilder. It didnt become quite a full-blast orgy, Mike says, But we had some kind of very hot sexual scene going on, with varying degrees of heat. As one of the guys later said, I was in my own soft porn world; just exhilarated by how free I felt. The crowd got really turned on, more than we could have imagined, Andrea says, We had our own little lifestyle group. And the festivities lasted until dawn. As for the aftermath, Mike and Andrea think that, for most of the couples, their Halloween trick and treat was a onetime burst of uninhibited bliss. But for one other couple and themselves, their impromptu and largely unintended
Mike and I talked for weeks afterwards, as a couple, and also with some of the others from our party, she says. Im most happy to say weve stayed friends with everyone. No one got upset, even the couple who left early. They gured how things might evolve and just decided it wasnt for them. In fact, they were curious about what actually occurred, and we told them over dinner with lots of laughs. I think the best result, Mike summarizes, is that Andrea and I really explored our feelings, actions, and reactions to the party. We both admitted how much we enjoyed it. And we soon took up our more serious efforts to enjoy the fun side of the LifeStyle on a regular basis.
We were dating for eight months when it came time for Halloween, says Andrea. Mike and I decided that wed throw a party for couples only, all good friends but none in the LifeStyle. At least none we knew about. As added entertainment, we thought it would be a fun surprise to invite an exotic dancer who would show up at midnight and do her thing for the crowd. Well, she sure showed and she sure did her thing. Heres how it all went down... The guests arrived about 8 pm in a perfectly predictable Halloween assortment of costumed couples: there was a swashbuckling pirate and his damsel, a wildly silly cross-dressing duo, a pair of political spoofers, two grotesque monsters, and a couple of Q-tips with Andrea and Mike, humorously wardrobed as circus clowns. Things were totally normal, Mike says, We were having an enjoyable time. The food was great. People were telling stories about past Halloweens they recalled as kids. We were dancing a bit, but nothing very alluring. However, when the doorbell rang at midnight, the party really began. The most sexy witch imaginable swept into the room, humping her broom!
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Colds, Flu & Bronchial Infections Urinary Track Infections (UTI) Yeast Infections Genital Herpes
There are strategies to prevent infections and reduce risks. These strategies still allow couples to enjoy erotic pleasure with others. We have listed three categories of strategies and we have named them minimal, moderate & highest. Each strategy provides a different level of protection. The highest strategy
provides the most protection. Strategies can be mixed or matched depending on comfort levels.
Much attention has been to AIDS and HIV in the general public. This attention has often exaggerated the dangers from multiple heterosexual partners and specifically exaggerated the dangers from the swinging LifeStyle. We in the swinging community have correctly challenged the claim of high AIDS risk from unprotected heterosexual sex. However, we have probably erred by implying that swinging and sexual play with multiple partners is risk free. Intimate contact with others frequently spreads germs. There are disease risks in swinging. There are also strategies to reduce the risks. The highest disease risks (all of which we have seen at our couples massage events) are the following:
2.
Check your spouse and sexual partners for sores. Do not participate in sexual play with a partner where there is direct skin contact with open sores.
Wash your hands and urinate after sexual play. Use this strategy before playing with a different or new partner. Drink plenty of water. There is evidence that urinating after sexual play reduces the risk of UTI.
3.
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Create a means to communicate to new partners your preference for condoms or other strategies. Therefore, in the heat of passion all participants would share in the responsibility to use such strategies.
Genital Herpes
Of the four highest risk infections, Genital Herpes raises the most fears and concerns. This is not because it is more dangerous. In fact, a severe bronchial infection or u infection is harder to treat and will likely result in more severe symptoms. Genital Herpes, however, raises more fears because it is contracted only through sexual play and therefore is more embarrassing. Herpes type 2, or genital herpes, is a viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2). It is transmitted sexually, and typically causes blisters on the male and female genitals that rupture into painful red sores. Most people who have herpes nd that it recurs. While there are effective treatments, there is no cure. This article was printed with permission from DrZiggy. The article is based on a presentation made by a professional couple in the health care eld. Dr.Ziggy is a Clinical Sexologist and Social Psychologist that has conducted research in the Lifestyle for the last 10 years. His area of concentration is Sexual Behaviour and Sexual Motivation.
1.
3.
We can take greater risks when we have more information about our new sexual partners. We can take greater risks if we believe our new sexual partners can be long-term supportive friends. We can take greater risks when we as a couple have talked about it and are taking the risk jointly. We can take greater risks if we are gaining greater enjoyment. We can take greater risks when we accept the possible need for medication or other treatment, just as one accepts the possible need for sunburn medication when vacationing at the beach. We can accept greater risks when we know we also have the option of accepting lower risks if we are uncomfortable. We are not locked into only the two options of monogamous sex and unprotected intercourse. We can develop a full menu of erotic pleasuring options depending on our sense of safety.
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LifeStyle Libations
XXXmas
1 oz. Apple Schnapps 1 oz. Midori
RaspberryLovers
1 oz. Captain Morgans Rum 1 oz. Raspberry Liquer Coke to taste
Sex Nog
2 oz. Prepared Egg Nog 1/2 oz. Cinnamon Schnapps
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The
Thats not exactly the first thing you want to hear at a LifeStyle club. But thats the joking response Joan and Bob got when they told another couple they were soft swingers. Before we probe further (forgive the pun) : soft swinging refers to the range of playful, sexual activities, other than exchanging partners for intercourse.
she says. For example, anyone can be a voyeur without being rejected. And its great fun to be an exhibitionist or simply cop a feel without more intense interaction. Soft swinging is also terric for people just getting into the LifeStyle because you have can have lots of pleasure without taking lots of risk. And it doesnt mean youre going to end up going any further. Rubbing bodies on the dance oor without being serious can remain a lifetime pleasure. A side benet is that you can tell non-LifeStyle people about your dirty dancing escapades and dont be surprised if you nd yourselves very popular dinner guests! In sum, Lindas perspective seems to be typical of soft swingers: the
after we go. All that talk translates into some steamy nights at home. Soft swinging meets our needs for sexual exploration, Mick says. Were okay to watch and play around with others in rooms. Theres no mystery about how and
since many couples never have conversations about their sexual desires, let alone try new things. In short, this is a way we can have our cake and eat it, too. Or suck it! Oops, was that too nasty to print?
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Ive been rejected all my life for being fat; why should this be any different? Why should I set myself up for rejection?
So for a long time we didnt do anything. Finally about four years ago we did, and weve been very happy with the results. What happened to change my mind? A couple of things. They all come down to the concept of self-condence. Before I could consider putting myself on the line like that, I had to have some reason to believe somebody would want me. So we looked for a club in our area and did some research. Where we live, there are several groups that have house parties or hotel parties on a semi-regular basis; actual permanent facilities arent that common. One particular group seemed interesting. They have a yahoo group website, and I liked the photo of the host couple. She was a very pretty 30-something with long curly hair. Most of all, she wasnt skinny. Not as big as me, but nicely curvy. No way you could confuse her with a fashion model shes much prettier in my opinion. So we chatted with people on the group list, and signed up for the groups Valentines party. We knew going in that there would be at least one couple who wasnt perfect, and they were the hosts. We met a variety of people that night and for the most part we were warmly welcomed. I have found swingers to be some of the most welcoming people Ive ever associated with. The beautiful people ads are wrong; thats not what swingers are about. Many of us have a different kind of beauty; Ive never seen another group so willing to realize that. So what can you do to make your rst experience as memorable as mine? First of all, do your homework. If theres a chat room where you can meet some people like we did, take advantage of it. If youre afraid you wont be welcomed because youre too fat, too skinny, the wrong skin tone, too old, too young, then ask! If the club is worth associating with, theyll make you feel welcome and try to ease your fears. If not, keep looking... there is another one around that will. When you go to the party, dont be a wallower. Wear something as sexy and daring as you can and still feel comfortable. Dont feel pressured, but maybe let yourself feel free to explore a side of you that you usually keep hidden. Many newcomers are shy, and a good host will try to draw them out, but sometimes they miss someone. There is usually a social hour before the fun starts. Use the time to chat with your fellow party goers, get to know them as people. Our hosts had an icebreaker at the end of the social hour where all the guys lined up opposite the girls and everybody introduced themselves to the person opposite them and hugged (or kissed or whatever they felt comfortable with). Then the guys shifted one position to the left and repeated until every girl had met every guy. It was a nice way to make at least initial contact with everybody and you could get an idea of who might be interested by how they reacted. If your party or club has a group room, sometimes that can be a good place to start. A lot of times old friends will pair off early in a party, meeting people theyve partied with before. A newcomer can feel a bit left out. But the group room isnt about pairing off, and is a great place to just watch if youre not ready to jump in yet. And who knows, you might just be inspired to join in! We started out watching, and when the group on the bed broke up to go get some food and drinks, Norman and I took over the now empty bed. Playing with your partner is familiar and comfortable; all youve added is the excitement that somebody might be watching. And sure enough, another couple came down and watched us for a while, then asked if they could join in. Norman still remembers the womans beautiful celtic buttery tattoo! The four of us had a great time. The point is that most parties or clubs offer something for everyone. Relax, meet some new friends, have a good time, and maybe even join in the fun. Whatever youre comfortable with. And next time, youll nd youre dressing sexier, getting more assertive when it comes to nding someone to play with, and generally having an even better time. Each positive experience builds your condence. And there is nothing sexier than selfcondence. We have made several good friends in the LifeStyle; they are some of the most accepting, fun-loving folks weve ever known. Its not for everyone, but just maybe, its for you. See you at a party soon?
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Youve been married 10 years or more. You know your marriage is solid, but youre looking for something to spice things up a bit. Youve
played around with the idea of swinging, youve talked about it together, but youve never done anything. Why not?
One of the biggest reasons people who are interested in the LifeStyle hold back is that they feel they are not desirable enough. The housewife who could afford to lose 20 pounds. The husband whose only 6-pack is in the fridge. The BBW or BHM who never WAS beautiful or handsome by conventional denitions. I mean, just look at the ads for those tropical resorts. If you dont have the gure for a bikini, dont go, right?
Wrong!
I am a 300 pound BBW, happily married to my college sweetheart for 18 years now. Weve always had a sort of open arrangement to our marriage. But I noticed an annoying pattern. Many of our female friends were more than happy to fool around with him, but the guys all said I could never fool around with Normans wife! I was getting the short end of the stick.
We had heard about swinging, which seemed to be more couples oriented, which would solve my problem. But I was wary; Ive been rejected all my life for being fat, why should this be any different? In fact, we saw some pretty people ads which only made my fears worse. Why should I set myself up for rejection?
If the club is worth associating with, theyll make you feel welcome and try to ease your fears. If not, keep looking... there is another one around that will.
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LifeStyle Paradox:
Of all the questions I get via email every week, jealousy and self-esteem always seem to creep their way into the email bag, so I convinced Mike to let me do part one. It happens to everyone, but how you react and how you deal with these two issues in the LifeStyle may have an impact in your everyday life as well.
Jealousy can spoil an evening even in the plain vanilla world. It can be a wedge with a capital J! How do you get over jealousy? Does it ever go away? In most cases, I would say yes, if you have good communication and listening skills. In this LifeStyle, irting is a big part of the prelude to swinging. Its also a good indication that if a couple cant handle the irting part, what comes after will be even more difcult. If you, as a couple, or even if only one of you experience jealousy, this is what I want you to do. Keep in mind it doesnt have to be right there at the club, but maybe on the way home or the next day. Sit down, take a good look at each other and then bare your feelings. Case in point, John and Mary, a married couple and in the LifeStyle for two years, came into contact one night with the green-eyed monster. It is very important for the person who is listening to their partner bare his or her feelings to really listen. One must never be afraid to tell their partner what is going on in his/her head. Mary told John that he seemed to be having more fun with Betty than with her all evening and that it made her feel uncomfortable. She told him she actually felt jealous. The response from some men would be to laugh and say, honey, youre imagining it, or honey, its all in your head. MEN, if she can say it out loud, dont laugh or make remarks like that, ever.
club, Mary will be less likely to want to share John. You say, its just a dance, or maybe its just a fuck, but in the end what Mary was telling John was that at some point during the evening she wanted to bond. I asked John what they
*Names have been changed to protect the couples. See you soon. Cori www.intimatecircles.com
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Couples Fest
Dallas Interlude
Sexy Party Club at Platos Repeat
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You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. Steve Martin Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. Rodney Dangereld Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. George Burns
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ALABAMA
Close Encounters Mobile, AL Mobile, AL 601-928-7716 www.close-encounters-club.com host@close-encounters-club.com
BlueMoon Adult Socials PO Box 580754 Elk Grove, CA 95758 866-460-2583 www.bluemoonsocials.com info@bluemoonsocials.com CBs San Diego, CA 92033 760-751-8703 www.clubcb.com info@clubcb.com Club Swingstock 1282 Stabler Lane, Suite 630-168 Yuba City, CA 95993 www.ClubSwingstock.com parties@clubswingstock.com Southern California Couples / Club WideWorld PO Box 5366 Buena Park, CA 90622 714-821-6117 www.clubwideworld.com info@clubwideworld.com Freedom Acres San Bernardino, CA 92412 909-887-8757 www.clubfa.com info@freedomacres.com LA Couples Los Angeles, CA 90021 213-489-2001 www.lacouples.com googie@lacouples.com La Villa 3517 E Street San Diego, CA 92102 (619) 231-9287 www.lavilla.com LaVillaSwingers@hotmail.com Options Socials PO Box 542 French Camp, CA 95231 209-941-2100 www.optionssocials.com optionssocials1@aol.com
Paradise Social Club Long Beach, CA 90804 310-840-5223 or 562-427-4801 Paradiseclubs@cs.com Passion Play Tarzana, CA 91356 www.LAPassionPlay.com lapassionplay@aol.com PowerExchange Couples Nights 74 Otis Street San Francisco, CA 94010 415-487-9944 www.powerexchange.com powerexchange-greg@comcast.net Thads 3488 E St. San Diego, CA 92102 619-237-8849 www.thads.com thadsclub@hotmail.com The Velvet Swing Los Angeles, CA 90028 818 787 0842 www.velvetswing.net velvetswing@email.com The Fantasy Paradise PO Box 891865 Temecula, CA 92584 951-246-2879 www.thefantasyparadise.com kajswing@hotmail.com
Pikes Peak Playhouse PO Box 15431 Colorado Springs, CO 80935 719-579-8965 pikespeakplayhouse.com info@pikespeakplayhouse.com Rocky Mountain Connections Social Club (RMCSC) 1550 Larimer Street Box 113 Denver, CO 80202 720-363-7946 www.rmcsc.com rmcsc@rmcsc.com Scarlet Ranch 27835 Troublesome Gulch Rd. Evergreen, CO 80439 303-674-7026 www.scarletranch.com kendall@scarletranch.com Villa Privado Denver, CO 80223 303-935-5676 www.villaprivado.com host@villaprivado.com
FLORIDA
Amore Swingers Club PO Box 2283 Ormond Beach, FL 32175 386-255-1600 www.AmoreClubUSA.com Close Encounters Pensacola, FL Pensacola, FL 601-928-7716 www.close-encounters-club.com host@close-encounters-club.com No street address Club Eurotic / TBL 3090 Evans Ave Ft. Myers, FL 22912 www.clubeurotic.com clubeurotic@clubeurotic.com Club Destiny PO Box 5251 Destin, FL 32540 www.clubdestiny.us clubdestiny@aol.com Maggies Underground DeCapo Nightclub at Best Inn 1401 Atlantic Blvd. Neptune Beach, FL 32266 904-737-1736 www.undergroundjax.com undergroundjax@aol.com Miami Velvet 3901 NW 77th Ave. Miami, FL 33166 305-406-1604 www.miamivelvetswing.com luis@miamivelvetswing.com Platos Repeat 321 W Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale, FL 33311 954-523-9818 www.platos-repeat.com admin@platos-repeat.com
Pleasure Palace 8504 Adamo Dr. Tampa, FL 33619 813-663-9193 www.pleasurepalaceorida.com info@pleasurepalaceorida.com Sexy Party Club 321 W. Sunrise Blvd. Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309 954-887-0227 www.SexyPartyClub.com BlondeFlasher@aol.com Trapeze 3660 W. Commercial Blvd. Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309 954-730-8121 www.trapezeclub.com ft.lauderdale@trapezeclub.com Thegatheringplacesh 2020 Trenton South Springhill, FL 34606 352-666-7151 www.thegatheringplacesh.com thegatheringplacesh@yahoo.com West Central Coast Couples (WCCC) Social Club Tampa Bay Area PO Box 821 Elfers, FL 34680 727-389-4350 www.westcentralcoastcouples.com lmtandlady@westcentralcoastcouples.com
ARIZONA
Club Chameleon 3102 N. 29th Ave. Phoenix, AZ 85017 602-253-7052 www.clubchameleon.com mninphx@cox.net The Black Rose House Bullhead City, AZ 86442 928-763-2525 www.blackrosemaids.com blackrose@frontiernet.net
CALIFORNIA
Annes Pleasher Party! PO Box 69 Newark, CA 94560 510-552-0515 www.imanne.com anne_n_victor@yahoo.com Arena Swing Club Bay Area Hayward, CA 94541 510-623-1354 www.ArenaSwingClub.com Info@ArenaSwingClub.com Babylon Club Van Nuys, CA 91406 760-861-5977 www.gotobabylon.com gotobabylon@email.com Barry and Shells Oakland, CA 94606 510-834-5808 www.barryandshells.com barrysandshells@earthlink.net
CONNECTICUT
B.A.S.I.C. 240 Sargent Dr. New Haven, CT O6511 203-430-1410 www.clubbasic2.com Clubbasic2@yahoo.com FlirtClub Couples Events at Club Ice 169 East Street New Haven, CT O6511 203-755-2321 www.irtclubusa.com irtclubusa@yahoo.com Leisure Time 355 Zion Street Hartford, CT O6106 860-951-6243 www.geocities.com/lesureclb/ leisureclb@aol.com
COLORADO
Encounters by XXXcouple PO Box 49746 Colorado Springs , CO 80949 719-291-4731 www.xxxcouple.com ss@xxxcouple.com Panache Event Productions PO Box 62399 Colorado Springs , CO 80962 www.panache-ep.com panache-ep@adelphia.net
GEORGIA
2risque 4505 Commerce Drive Atlanta, GA 30336 404-696-2737 www.2risque.us admin@2risque.us Trapeze Club 4470 SW Commerce Drive Atlanta, GA 30336 404-699-0100 www.trapezeclub.com atlanta@trapezeclub.com
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ILLINOIS
Couples Choice PO Box 2806 Country Club Hills, IL 60478 708-333-4860 www.coupleschoice.com ddentcc@aol.com Couples Playhouse In Paradise Naperville, IL 60565 630-983-5175 couplesplayhouse.com cplaywus@aol.com
IOWA
LSota PO Box 1075 Cedar Rapids, IA 52406 319-329-3306 www.lsota.com lsota@aol.com
MARYLAND
The Private Affair PO Box 58 Port Deposit, MD 21904 410-378-8948 www.theprivateaffair.com theprivateaffair@aol.com
MISSOURI
CSR PO Box 411010 St. Louis, MO 63141 636-940-0057 www.csr-stlouis.com staff@csr-stlouis.com Natural Pines Resort RR2 Box 95 Memphis, MO 63555 660-328-6681 www.naturalpinesresort.com naturalpines@yahoo.com
NEW HAMPSHIRE
Club Europa S. New Hampshire, NH O3858 603-382-9539 EuropaDance1@aol.com
NEW YORK
Bi Swinger Grand Central Station New York, NY 10163 www.BiSwinger.com events@BiSwinger.com Black Tie Discretions Binghamton, NY 13790 www.blacktiediscretions.com Blacktiediscretions@yahoo.com Candlelight Associates 3 Locations (Batavia, Niagra Falls & Syracuse) PO Box 93181 Rochester, NY 14692 585-334-8785 www.candleassociates.com info@candleassociates.com
NEW JERSEY
Beginnings PO Box 851- D Rahway, NJ 70650 732-388-9106 www.couples4u.com beginnings@couples4u.com Caligulas Temple 12 South Indiana Ave Atlantic City, NJ O8401 609-345-4899 www.caligulacouplesclub.com dkt69@msn.com
KANSAS
Club Eden of Kansas City PO Box 6712 Leawood, KS 66206 816-920-3590 www.edenkc.com clubedenkc@aol.com Club Erotica KC 19460 W 159th Olathe, KS 66061 913-238-4339 www.cluberoticakc.com webmaster@cluberoticakc.com Kansas Fantasy Fulllers Wichita, KS 67217 www.ksfantasy.com thefulton4@sbcglobal.net
MASSACHUSETTS
Couples & BiFemales at Toast Lounge 70 Somerville Ave. Union Square Somerville, MA 02151 617-623-9211 www.sexycouples.biz www.toastlounge.com Valeri32377@aol.com
NEBRASKA
Downtown O 11305 Evans St. #2 Omaha, NE 68164 www.downtowno.com info@downtowno.com
MICHIGAN
Just A Swingin Traverse City, MI 49686 231-360-0419 tigerlilys28@yahoo.com Motor City Socials Detroit, MI 48224 313-882-5194 www.motorcitysocials.com host@motorcitysocials.com The Meeting Place PO Box 178 Decatur, MI 49045 269-657-4072 www.meetpl.com meetpl@comcast.net
INDIANA
Club Escapades RR 3 Box 349 Owensville, IN 47665 812-729-7597 reneet6055@yahoo.com Klub Layden Muncie, IN 47302 765-717-1043 www.klublayden.com klublayden@klublayden.com Shenanigans PO Box 739 Noblesville, IN 46061 765-622-0103 www.shenanigans.net h7271@netdirect.net Topside Two PO Box 11629 Indianapolis, IN 46201 317-251-1717 www.topsideii.com Topside2@aol.com
NEVADA
Dilligas Saloon 1303 E Fourth St. Reno, NV 89512 775-322-8481 www.dilligassaloon.com dilligas@dilligassaloon.com The Red Rooster 5010 Steptoe Las Vegas, NV 89112 702-451-6661 www.vegasredrooster.com info@vegasredrooster.com The Seamed Stocking 1604 Becke Circle Las Vegas, NV 89104 702-382-6244 www.theseamedstocking.com SeamedStockingLV@aol.com
LOUISIANA
French Connection PO Box 2592 Covington, LA 70434 800-304-4493 www.frenchconx.com FrenchConx@aol.com The Lagniappe Chateau PO Box 40 Shreveport, LA 71067 318-208-2284 www.thelagniappechateau.com tonette@thelagniappechateau.com
MISSISSIPPI
Close Encounters Gulfport, MS 393 Tegarden Gulfport, MS 601-928-7716 www.close-encounters-club.com host@close-encounters-club.com
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Carousel Swing Club 3030 Northern Blvd. Long Island, NY 11101 212-252-2138 www.CarouselClub.com CarouselCL@aol.com Charldine Club International PO Box 4631 Schenectady, NY 12304 518-895-2372 www.charldine.com cci@charldine.com Club Babylon 45 Kean Street West Babylon, NY 11704 LAVANDARE@aol.com Premium Events 31st Street Manhattan, NY www.PremiumEvents.com events@PremiumEvents.com Swap Meets Southern Tier, NY 13790 607-798-9196 cardinals13790@yahoo.com Niagara Connects 4025 Dorchester Rd. Suite 169 Niagara Falls, NY 14026 1-888-350-3049 www.niagaraconnects.com niagaraconnects2@aol.com
Carolina Couples NC 2000 Brentwood St. High Point, NC 27263 336-655-8617 www.carolinacouplesnnc.com ccncparty@aol.com Carolina Friends PO Box 561294 Charlotte, NC 28256 704-559-5951 www.carolinafriends.com mail@carolinafriends.com Magical Sinsations Greensboro, NC 27410 336-996-7927 www.magicalsinsations.com majicalsinsation@aol.com Piedmont Socials King Mountain, NC 28086 704-713-1874 www.piedmontsocials.com piedmont@piedmontsocials.comNE
Dayton Swim & Social Club 8235 Old Troy Pike PMB 103 Huber Heights, OH 45424 937-890-0833 www.daytonswimclub.com chris@daytonswimandsocialclub.com Ebony Social Circle PO Box 27354 Cleveland, OH 44127 216-287-0337 www.ebonysocialclub.com webmaster@ebonysocialclub.com Eros Connection Cleveland, OH 44113 216-453-4185 www.erosconnection.com info@erosconnection.com Ohio Couples Parties Newark OH 43055 hometown.aol.com/ prtyplanner4ohio/ Playtime Club 3200 East Pike Zanesville, OH 43701 740-404-2256 www.playtimeclub.com webmaster@playtimesocialclub.com The Cleveland Connection (T.C.C.) Northwest Ohio www.tccdance.com patticonn@adelphia.net
PENNSYLVANIA
DJs Island 7280 Big Beaver Blvd Beaver Falls, PA 15010 412-519-8608 www.djsisland.com DjsPrivateclub@aol.com The Farm Travel Club PO Box 7791 York, PA 17404 717-225-5082 www.thefarmtravelclub.com farm4fun@thefarmtravelclub.com The Paradise Club PPSC PO Box 411 Wind Gap, PA 18091 www.theparadiseclub.net jim@theparadiseclub.net
TENNESSEE
Discretions 1488 Madison Ave. Memphis, TN 38103 901-496-0323 www.discretionsmemphis.com info@discretionsmemphis.com Menages 615 Seventh Ave. South Nashville, TN 37203 615-742-3705 www.menagesclub.com info@menagesclub.com The Treehouse Club Memphis, TN 901-583-4747 www.memphistreehouseclub.com treehousememphis@yahoo.com
Country Pleasure Ranch Austin, TX 76571 countrypleasureranch@earthlink.net Iniquity 10821 Composite Drive Dallas, TX 75220 972-323-1100 www.iniquityclub.com rnt@iniquityclub.com Jet Set Club 3136 Routh St. Dallas, TX 75201 214-720-4475 www.jetsetclub.com jetsetclub@comcast.net Live Oak Resort 9751 Lone Star Rd. Washington, TX 77880 936-878-2216 www.liveoakresort.com info@liveoakresort.com Quiet Encounters 14650 Montana Street El Paso, TX 79935 915-497-0297 www.quietencounters2.com quietencounter2@aol.com Radiance 2628 FM 1960 Houston , TX 77073 281-233-9889 www.radianceclub.com info@radianceclub.com
RHODE ISLAND
Black Key Club, LLC PO Box 19141 Johnston, RI O2919 401-274-3700 www.blackkeyclub.com info@blackkeyclub.com
TEXAS
Allure 13800 Dragline Drive Suite B Austin, TX 78728 512-990-1777 www.allureaustin.com mandj@allureaustin.com Club Bacchus 2818 NE Loop 410 San Antonio, TX 78218 210-655-1097 www.bacchusnightclub.com webmaster@.bacchusnightclub.com Club Inspiration PO Box 818 Weslaco, TX 78599 www.clubinspiration.com information@clubinspiration.com Club Wonderland PO Box 1181 Cleveland, TX 77328 281-432-2110 www.clubwonderland.com info@clubwonderland.com
OHIO
Club 101 PO Box 159 Dayton, OH 45404 937-235-1010 www.club101.cc club101_dayton@yahoo.com Club 104 Columbus, OH 43207 614-444-3321 www.club-104.com info@club-104.com Club 440 440 East Dixie Dayton, OH 45449 937-847-0990 www.club440online.com cody@club440online.com
SOUTH CAROLINA
Southern Socials PO Box 738 Ladson, SC 29456 843-797-7469 www.southernsocials.com sousocial1@aol.com Swing Friends Myrtle Beach, SC 29577 www.swingfriends.com swingfriends@aol.com
NORTH CAROLINA
Becks Romance Motel 5401 Raeford Road Fayetteville, NC 28304 910-425-2108 becksmotel@mindspring.com Carolina Connections PO Box 5365 Charlotte, NC 28299 704-578-6291 www.carolinaconnectionsclub.com mood_50@msn.com
OREGON
B C Club PO Box 2459 Hillsboro, OR 97123 503-740-0847 www.beavercreekclub.net tntjoy2@aol.com
The After Midnight Club 11050 S. Pipeline Road, Suite B Euless, TX 76040 817-355-8860 www.theaftermidnightclub.com
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WASHINGTON
Club Passions PO Box 29958 Bellingham, WA 98228 360-441-5709 www.clubpassionsnw.com clubpassions69@aol.com Desert Delights PO Box 4506 Pasco, WA 99301 509-521-7834 desertdelights@hotmail.com Love Lounge Seattle PO Box 2355 Issaquah, WA 98027 425-642-8023 www.lovelounge.net lovelounge@lovelounge.net Northwest Xchange Club Seattle, WA 205-551-0171 www.NWXchange.com nwxchange@comcast.net
WEST VIRGINIA
Elkhorn Inn & Theatre PO Box 100 Elkman, WV 24829 304-862-2031 www.elkhorninnwv.com elisse@elkhorninnwvcom
VIRGINIA
East Coast Couples / Hampton Roads Couples PO Box 7162 Hampton, VA 23666 757-873-7221 www.hrcouples.com hrc_afliate@earthlink.net Southwest VA Socials Blacksburg, VA 23401 www.southwestvasocials.com cindy@southwestvasocials.com Virginia Friends 2357 Litcheld Way Virginia Beach, VA 23456 vafriends69@hotmail.com
WISCONSIN
Club 34 Amery, WI 54001 nw_club34@yahoo.com Club NCN - North PO Box 176 Merrillan, WI 54754 715-284-8390 www.clubncn.com NCNCampNorth@aol.com Wisconsin Playful Pleasures Lake Geneva, WI 53147 (877) 420-4290 www.wispleasures.com wispleasures@aol.com
LifeStyle Definitions
AC/DC Bi-Sexual Person(s) Arts Fetishes B&D or BD Bondage and Discipline Back Door Anal Sex BBW Big Beautiful Woman. Larger than average woman that is very beautiful regardless of size or weight. BDSM Bondage-Discipline-SadoMasochism Bi or Bisexual Someone that enjoys sex with both men and women. Bi-Curious Someone that is curious, interested in or has had limited Bisexual experience. Bi-Sensual One that enjoys touching/ fondling/watching both sexes, but not Oral/ Intercourse. Bondage The practice of restraining a person(s) for sexual pleasure. Can Entertain Someone that has a private location and is willing to invite others over. Can Travel Someone that is willing to travel, generally beyond an hours drive. Clean Diseases and Drug Free Convertible Topless Couple Two people, generally one male, one female. CPL Couple Cunnilingus Oral stimulation of the vagina/clitoris DD Clean, disease and drug free.
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Discipline Spanking, bondage or similar practice intended to arouse sexual desire. DP Double Penetration, simultaneous Vaginal and Anal. Entertain Can Entertain Exhibitionism Showing off in public, involving nudity. F Female Fellation Oral stimulation of the penis. Fetish Sexual stimulation via non sexual acts or objects. Full Swap A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to AND including intercourse. Gay Homosexual, generally a male, but not always. GBM Gay Black Man GWM Gay White Male Heterosexual One who enjoys and has sex with only the opposite sex. Homosexual One who enjoys and has sex with only the same sex. Hung One with a large penis HWP Height/Weight Proportionate. Someone that is not overweight or underweight. ISO In Search Of Lesbian Gay women LTR Long Term Relationship M Male MBC Married Black Couple
Start Your Sexual Revolution
MBiC Married Bi Couple Moresome More than four. MWC Married White Couple Off-Premise A swing club or party where there are no designated locations for play. This may or may not exclude the activity from actually taking place. P/P Photo/Phone S&M or SM Sadism/Masochism Safe Someone that is not at risk for becoming or causing a pregnancy. SBF Single Black Female SBiF Single Bi Female SBiM Single Bi Male SBM Single Black Male SGL Single Sodomy Usually Anal sex, possibly forced. Soft Swing/Swingers A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to but not including intercourse. STD Sexually Transmitted Disease. STR8 or STR or Straight Straight, a Heterosexual person. Swap or Swapping Two couples exchanging partners SWF Single White Female SWM Single White Male Versatile Bisexual Voyeur or Voyeurism One who enjoys watching. Water Sports Urination involving sexual stimulation.
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Swingers in Paradise February 17-21, 2005 Picture yourself and 10 other couples in your own private Costa Rican Villa! This vacation includes all your meals, beverages, maid and personal driver! We can even provide you with a companion! Airfare to Costa Rica is GREAT, even for February! Please contact Ann Marie for all the details! 407.880.3468 www.astravelof.com
LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER
Couples Encounters: March 31-April 3 & April 8-11, 2005. Canada, 3 day 3 night all inclusive 4 star hotel takeover. Couples Encounters has been hosting erotic getaways twice a year and is in its ninth year. The most popular seminars, hottest themes, naughtiest games, live proffesional entertainment and a tantalizing array of foods throughout the weekend. Held in a remote location in the Canadian Rockies to provide you with the most private and comfortable atmosphere possible. 24 hour access to heated pool for continuous clothing optional pool party. E-mail: couplesencounters@hotmail.com
World Polyamory Assoc. SE Conference: Return To The Tribe April 20-26, 2005 Orange Springs, FL. Return to the tribe, to the days when we lived in extended family. Week-long experiment in conscious, intentional community. Plenty of time for both workshops, discussions and celebrations guided by love-supporting staff and time also to just relax and open-up. Love, warm fuzzies and fun, we experience possibilities of a polyfriendly world that works. www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com
Sandi & Samanthas Caribbean Cruise February 27 - March 6, 2005 Experience the avor and ambience of the beautiful Costa Atlantica, European style cruising at its nest. No detail has been overlooked to bring you the style and hospitality of Italy. On every Costa sailing, you will enjoy authentic Italian cuisine and the warm attentive crew will make you feel like one of the family. From the moment you board till the nal nights Bacchanal Parade and Toga Party, it will be an unforgettable week of enjoyment. www.trystmag.com
Lifestyle Week At Hedo III Resort - Jamaica January 8-15, 2005 Escape winter for a week, at the hottest party ever! Experience the fabulous all-inclusive accommodations, unlimited premium drinks, land sports, water sports, beaches (one au natural), or relax in one of four Jacuzzis. Entertainment includes a circus workshop, late night discotheque, karaoke, live bands, performers, oor shows, and themed parties! www.toplesstravel.com
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april 05
Marvelous Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball April 9, 2005 Sponsored by CandleLight Associates. Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler (Let the good times roll!) Join us poolside in the afternoon or at the Casino Niagara, then dance the night away and enjoy our hot hospitality suites. www.candleassociates.com
LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER
may 05
Hedo-Fest 05 May 5-8, 2005 Experience Hedonism at Live Oak Resort. If youve never been to Hedonism in Jamaica, what better way to test the waters than at Live Oak Resorts Hedo-Fest 05! Live Oak Resorts annual Hedo-Fest was established to: Create a Hedo-event in Texas for Hedonism lovers to be wicked for a weekend without having to spend any airfare. Introduce the virgin hedonism couples to SuperClubs Hedonism III Resort, and to partake in the same activities youd nd at Hedo III. www.liveoakresort.com
LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER
february 05
Super Bowl Week at Maggies Underground Jacksonville, FL February 1-6, 2005 Maggies Underground is excited, and honored, to be hosting the only LifeStyle Nightclub Parties in Jacksonville for the Super Bowl 2005. Maggie and her staff will provide interesting and diverse entertainment to make the parties held during the Super Bowl week a memorable event. The Club is located inside the Best Inn on the beach in Neptune Beach, FL. www.undergroundjax.com Valentines Day Cruise February 12-17, 2005 Experience a couples getawayon this 5 day Valentine cruise aboard Carnivals Ecstasy. This cruise departs out of Galviston, Texas and visits Cozumel and Playa Del Carmen, Mexico! Every couple will get a bottle of wine in their cabin and a $25.00 on board credit! www.astravelof.com
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LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE PARTNER
march 05
Couples Fantasies Week - Jamaica March 13-20, 2005 Make plans to attend the ultimate fantasy week at Hedo III. Monthly Couples Fantasies winners arrive at Hedo III to compete for the grand prize of over $25,000 in prizes. Couples Fantasies games and contests held every day with plenty of live entertainment every night! www.couplesfantasies.com
Connections 3rd Annual Spring Break Weekend: Cleveland, Ohio, April 8-10, 2005 The Best Event in the Midwest! We hope youll join us in April for CONNECTIONs 3rd ANNUAL SPRING BREAK WEEKEND, as we TAKE OVER a large, deluxe hotel exclusively for the festivities! Our hotel is conveniently located, with easy access to major freeways and Clevelands international airport. Enjoy the freedom of our uninhibited atmosphere with old and new friends at this exciting, fun-lled weekend of nearly non-stop socializing, partying, dining and dancing in an elegant, secure, no-pressure environment. Fabulous theme dances, party suites, meals, seminars, entertainment, lifestyle boutique, deluxe accommodations, and much more everything is included in our full package. www.connectiononline
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Playful Swingers at Desire Resort and Spa May 14-19, 2005 A true LifeStyle resort, complete with Play room! Dont miss this couples only getaway. Party with the HOTTEST couples on the net - Playful Swingers! Take advantage of the 5 night FREE promotion if booked and paid by February 28th. This resort is only 110 rooms and will sell out fast! www.astravelof.com Orlando Interlude May 19-22, 2005 Central Floridas LifeStyle event. This Couples Only Convention is designed to bring like-minded couples together in an intimate experience. This year the convention will be an entire hotel sellout! 4 days and 3 nights of wild & crazy pool parties, erotic and sensual theme dances, informative & entertaining seminars, sensational hospitality suites and a fabulous Erotic Market. www.orlandointerlude.com
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Conclave in Chicago! The Rites of Spring Celebration March 17-19, 2005 Dance like nobodys watching; Love like youve never been hurt. Sing like nobodys listening; Live like its heaven on earth. Conclave has been around for a long, long time. We loved the intimacy of the weekend. When we knew that the person planning Conclave was retiring, we made plans to make sure Conclave didnt retire, too. We know that Conclave is a Chicago based weekend, sponsored and planned by people in Chicago. Who better could understand whats necessary for a party like this? www.conclavechicago.com
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Do you have or know of an event or convention you would like to see listed, please contact us at 954.755.7338 or editorial@LifeStyleMagazine.com
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LifeStyle Magazine is produced by swingers, for swingers. We are always looking for volunteers in editorial, photographic, artistic, and poetic submissions from our readers. If you are interested in contributing, contact us to discuss your project. Plus, let us know what you think about our new publication, there will be a letters to the editor section in the next issue. Remember, this is your magazine and you can help make
Mutual Masterbation
The other safe sex.
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Lifes more fun with your clothes off.