Urban Dictionary is the dictionary you wrote.

Define your world 6,399,264 definitions since 1999

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yearbook insider

A person on the high school yearbook staff that is capable of rigging the 'best of' yearbook content. Duder 1: "How the fuck did you win best eyes? I have way better eyes than you do!"

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Duder 2: "Dude you know my girl is on the yearbook staff. Hella rigged them shits."

Duder 1: "That bitch is your yearbook insider? Damn, I demand a recount."

501k

When ones economic situation has become so tenuous that their entire net worth is in the pockets of their jeans. Sorry, bro, cant go drinking tonight, the wife raided my 501k.

Petri Douche

Petri Douche: A place/location where a lot of douchebags are known to congregate.

A place that attracts and seemingly breeds chavs/douchebags/jackwagons/etc etc. Oh hell no I'm not going to Wetherspoons, that place is a petri douche! Or: urgh why would you want to go to Las Vegas, that place is such a petri douche.

Haters Gonna Hate

A phrase that represents ones complete and total disregard of another's negative comment towards the original person. *Guy 1 is walking down the street and passes Guy 2*

Guy 2: Why are you so ugly?

Guy 1: Haters Gonna Hate. *Keeps on walking*

Dude 1: Hey Fatty!

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Dude 2: Haters Gonna Hate eye broccoli

opposite of eye candy, someone unappealing to look at (how i met your mother) marshall's ex-assistant

barney: "so, who's the eye broccoli?"

marshall: "my new assistant"

fartriloquism

Art of throwing one's farts in such a way that the sound and/or smell seems to come from a source other than the farter.

A person who practices the art is called an ventriloquist. "Trey,I was in the middle of the room when all of a sudeen I smelled a nasty fart"

"Dude, sorry, was doing my fartriloquism act, I was aiming for Anthony."

open relationship

A euphemism describing a relationship in which one or more participates are cheating. Dude, I heard your girlfriend slept with John, why are you still with her? Nah, it's cool, we're in an open relationship.

Congressional Review

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To loosely read or breeze through a document, likely missing a fair amount of the information contained within. How tough will the upgrade be? I'm not too sure, I only gave the guide a Congressional Review.

what's your 20?

Your position, the place you are Johnny,i'm going to the party , what's your 20?

Rick Perry Strong

To use hate and bigotry to spread a political message.

Named after Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry's infamous video/ad of the same name. Rick Perry lover: If we want to fix our economy, we need to stop giving welfare to the minority races.

Normal guy: Oh no he's gone Rick Perry Strong! Quick let's get him to a psychiatrist before he starts talking about making his religion and homophobia mandatory.

SOPA The shittiest piece of legislation the U.S. government ever came up with. uhm, whats that internet thing again? is that what all the kiddies are stealing music with? we better fix that...

don't let the internet take a SOPA to the knee.

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mompetition

The one-up rivalry that moms play making their child seem better, smarter, and/ or more advanced than yours. May involve two or more moms and any number of children, even full-grown. She engaged me in mompetition insisting her son walked at 6 months and implying my son was slow for his age.

drop the pin

Letting people know where you are through Google maps or any app that shows your location on a map. Bored person wanting to meet up with friends: Come on, let me know where you're at. Drop the pin dude!

Person needing alone time: "I know its Friday but I'm not dropping the pin anywhere tonight."

brain chow January 15 What zombies eat? The zombies attacked some survivors and got their fill of brainchow.

ninja sex

having noiseless sex (no squeaking springs or vocals) while one or more people are passed out in the same room. li'l B was drunk and passed out in our room. we were horny, so we had ninja sex.

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Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident. Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.

spark in my ass

A sudden burst of positive energy; determined; a feeling of invincibility In the morning, I awoke with a spark in my ass, so I decided to run two miles, at the highschool track.

Trivial Pursuit

A veiled invitation for sex. "Do you want to come over and, uh, play Trivial Pursuit?" hugh wear

A name for a person's extensive wardrobe of bath robes. Duder 1: "Hey man nice closet. What's with all the robes?"

Duder 2: "You know I like to be comfortable AND stylin' 24/7."

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Duder 1: "Wow you have a complete line of hugh wear up in here. Now all you need are some skeezy blondes."

yestergay

a gay male now in a heterosexual relationship or marriage. Not the same as ex-gay, which is someone who seeks a religious conversion to abandon homosexuality. After years of bad relationships with men, he finally found a woman he loved enough to want to marry.

Blackberry roulette January 8 Driving a motor vehicle while talking or texting on a cell phone. Each time I see someone driving and talking on the phone I say to myself something's got to be done about these dangerous people; but nothing ever is. They just keep motoring along playing Blackberry roulette until one day their carelessness alters the life of an innocent

See you later masturbator January 7 A variation of see you later alligator Beef: "See you later masturbator" Jack: "In a while, pedophile"

Facility Fishing January 6 Facility Fishing is the act of searching for a restroom. Facility Fishing may be done simply to find a rest room in an unknown location. However, Facility Fishing is also performed when one seeks to find a rest room that

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is located off the beaten path where there will be more privacy and likely little to no interruption from others coming in while defecating. This is most often performed in large buildings and locations where there are lots of people. Leroy was at the convention center and there were hundreds of people at a trade show. He went Facility Fishing to find a bathroom near the loading dock where he was able to take a dump in privacy without a stampede of other people in and out.

free coochin' January 5 1. the act of a female not wearing underwear

2. the female equivalent of free ballin'

(see commando) Sally: Hey Beth, i didn't pack enough underwear. Can i wear some of yours? Beth: Hell naw, i don't share panties. I guess you're just gonna have to go commando! Sally: Yeah, i'll be free coochin' it for the rest of our trip!

hippocampus January 4 hippocampus: Virtually any college or university campus in Mississippi, Alabama or Tennessee, where over 30% of the student body is significantly obese. "Dude, it was like an entire university campus of sumo wrestlers! I couldn't believe the amount of morbidly obese 20-year olds cruising the hippocampus on mobility scooters."

santorum January 3

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The sometimes frothy, usually slimy, amalgam of lubricant, stray fecal matter, and ejaculate that leaks out of the receiving partner's anus after a session of anal intercourse. Named, by popular demand and usage, after legislator Rick Santorum because of his homophobic political statements. "That move was about as slick as santorum!"

New Year Boredom January 2 The post-festive boredom that occurs after the fun and excitement of Christmas and New Year. Often due to the harsh realisation that Christmas does not come every day. Dude, January totally sucks, I'm suffering a severe case of New Year Boredom.

New Year Flu January 1 It is a sickness that is brought on by kissing random strangers at midnight of New Year's Eve. It exhibits many of the same symptoms of the common cold or flu. My throat is killing me and all of my joints ache. I think I caught the New Year Flu from kissing those random at midnight.

New Year's Peeved December 31, 2011 The feeling of not being invited to a friend's New Year's party. Ted wasn't invited to Julie's annual New Year Eve's bash and became New Year's peeved buy new year's peeved mugs & shirts by proust share this shit bic December 30, 2011

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Term for a disposable lighter kept in bathroom for the purposes burning out extremely offensive odors. Roommate 1: "Man, thanks a lot, it smells like something died in the bathroom."

Roommate 2: "Sorry, bra, I couldn't find the shit bic."

medicine head December 29, 2011 Mental fogginess resulting from having taken cold/flu medicine. Common side effect of certain antihistamines. "I took some NyQuil and now I have medicine head like you wouldn't believe. Everything feels and looks surreal -- but at least I can breathe without coughing."

ghost paranoia December 28, 2011 A condition in which a person is convinced that there is a ghost in his or her house. A person suffering from ghost paranoia will often tell you many different stories in which they have seen a ghost in their house and/or seen a ghost doing things with physical objects in their house. Duder 1: "No for real. I came home one day and my beagle was on top of that fucking ledge. Way up there. I mean, how did he get up there? He can't jump that high."

Duder 2: "Yeah right dude."

Duder 1: "Oh and I saw her one night at the foot of my bed, she was all white and wouldn't take her eyes off me. I just hid under the covers til she went away. Oh and look at this window. Her hand print is still there!"

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Duder 3: "Oh my God dude, there's no hand print. You've got ghost paranoia like a son of a bitch. How do you sleep alone at night?"

price point December 27, 2011 n., bullshit speak for "price", in common use by real estate industry "professionals" to emphasize a limited vocabulary your looking in the wrong neighborhood at this price point

Guaranteed Left December 26, 2011 When you creep your way into an intersection with the intention to turn left, yet there is no end to oncoming traffic in sight.

This way, when the light eventually turns red, you are guaranteed the quick left turn in the short delay between oncoming traffic stopping and the crossing traffic going. "Traffic was really heavy and the green arrow had already disappeared, so rather than wait through a whole new light cycle, I made the guaranteed left."

christmas eve eve December 23, 2011 December 23rd, the day before Christmas eve.

In order to avoid the Christmas eve rush, everybody does their last minute Christmas shopping on Christmas eve, the result being that December 23rd is the busiest shopping day of the year. I never realized the insanity of Christmas eve until I worked in retail.

Holiday Eve

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December 22, 2011 The day before a company holiday when employees are inclined to do as little work as possible. Bob: "Rick, can you get me the TPP report today?" Rick: "No, not today. Today is Holiday Eve and I'm not trying to do a lot of work today. Maybe next week."

classic as fuck December 21, 2011

3932 up, 6004 down

Something that is extremely timeless and will never get old. Duder 1: "Ha ha I can't believe he stepped on that burning bag full of dog shit."

Duder 2: "I know, that trick is classic as fuck."

Duder 1: "All right, let's go, we got 15 more houses to hit."

nowhere story December 20, 2011 A tale or recount of an event or events that doesn't ever reach a particular point or meaning. Duder 1: "So the other day I went into Foot Locker and saw a girl working there so I thought it was Lady Foot Locker, but it turns out it wasn't."

Duder 2: "Wow dude, thanks for that nowhere story."

Computer December 19, 2011 a machine for downloading porn "oh no, the computer broke, i ejaculated all over the keyboard"

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data encraption December 18, 2011 The process which occurs when a computer or other electronic device corrupts files. Our server at work got hit and now none of my files will open thanks to data encraption. Overjaculation December 17, 2011 When you masturbate so much that when you try to do so again, all that comes out is a puff of smoke; a general fatigue of the genitals. "I had a mean chicken-beating marathon all day yesterday and when I tried to rub one out this morning, I failed miserably; It seems I have, once again, been the victim of overjaculation."

shexting December 16, 2011 Sending picture(s) of your feces to your buddie(s) via picture message on your cell phone. Duder 1: "Hey man did you get that pic I sent you this morning?"

Duder 2: "Fuck yea, that shit was a beast son! Thanks for shexting me that."

Duder 1: "There's plenty more where that came from."

Banker's Dozen December 15, 2011 The opposite of a Baker's Dozen where the customer receives 13 of a product for the price of 12; in a Banker's Dozen the customer receives 11 of the product for the price of 12

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Hector was surprised to find only 11 glasses in his gift of 12 glasses that he received from the bank. Later, Hector learned that the Bank offers a Banker's Dozen in their gifts and products, in which they steal one item.

Tebowing December 14, 2011 Getting down on one knee to speak to your invisible friend. Commonly used by athletes to thank the creator of the Universe for taking time out of his/her busy day to ensure you make a good play. God couldn't save those children from starving to death he was too busy helping that guy score a touchdown. At least the playing is tebowing...

Reply All Rage December 13, 2011 The rage one feels when people reply all to emails instead of replying directly to the relevant parties. Jeremy was struck by Reply All Rage when the 3rd person he didn't know hit "Reply All" and spammed him with pointless and stupid comments in response to a group invite to a friends party.

boner barrier December 12, 2011 A binder or notebook hormoney, middle and highschool boys use to conceal errant erections or NRBs. If one cares to realize, use of a boner barrier is rather obvious due to the uncharacteristic way the binder or notebook is pressed against the crotch region. "Man, Jenny is looking pretty fine today, I'm thinking of asking her to the 8th grade prom."

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"::school bell rings:: Quick, throw me your notebook, I need a boner barrier."

Beard Goggles December 11, 2011

4395 up, 4008 down

When a beard-bearing individual is convinced that his facial hair looks great, regardless of how bad it may look to everyone else.

Similar to beer goggles in that the more facial hair a person has, the better they think it looks. "Wow, have you seen Dave's beard? It looks terrible, I don't know why he won't shave that thing."

"It's because he has beard goggles right now, in his mind it looks great."

first nap of the day December 10, 2011 Euphemism for sleeping late. Where's Deb? Her breakfast is getting cold.

She's taking the first nap of the day.

like the palm of his hand December 9, 2011 Used in place of the expression, "knows it like the the back of his hand", implying one having an intimate relationship with the palm of their hand. Bob knows these back country roads like the palm of his hand.

sleep drunk

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December 8, 2011 When you're woken up from a nap and your mental state of confusion resembles that of a drunken state. When that crazy bitch tried to crawl into bed with me, I was too sleep drunk to say no.

Monitor Shopping December 6, 2011 To look at all the things on a retail site without making a purchase.

You can look but you can't buy. A: Ay, whatcha doing?

B: Monitor shopping on Asos.

A: Had to pay rent?

B: Yup.

moreplay December 5, 2011 The postcoital acitivities that are performed after sex but resemble foreplay, may lead to more sex. Who needs foreplay, when you can have moreplay.

Honey Badger Limit December 4, 2011 The point at which you no longer care or give a shit!

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Reference the viral video of Randall narrating a video about the Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger who "don't care" and "doesn't give a shit" - just takes what it wants because it is a hungry bastard. My relationship with Chris has really gone to shit. I've reached my Honey Badger Limit - I just don't give a shit anymore.

crocodile arms December 3, 2011 When going out with peers to a bar or restaurant and nobody offers to pay the bill, hence they and yourself have the short arms of a crocodile. It's kinda of a turn off when you go on a date with a girl and you got crocodile arms all night.

birthday card December 2, 2011 A "card" which is "played" on one's birthday so the birthday boy or girl can get his or her way. Blake didn't want to go out clubbing, but Erica played the birthday card and she felt obligated to go.

Freeboobing December 1, 2011 The act of not wearing a bra under a shirt. Analogous to freeballing, which is not wearing underwear for men. Roxanne is not wearing a bra under her shirt, therefore, she is freeboobing.

Roxanne was freeboobing and her shirted tit almost poked out my eye.

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leverage November 30, 2011 A buzzword used by management and those who aspire to become management. It used to describe an advantage gained by using a tool. Later it became a term used to describe corporate debt. For example, a leveraged buy-out is one where the buyer has to borrow money in order to buy the other company.

After much mis-use, the word leverage no-longer describes anything or have any meaning to anyone who has ever worked in an office.

in business circles this word is most commonly used in place of the word 'use'. Steve: Can we take this off-line, I'm hungry. I'm going to leverage a sandwich. Paula: Great idea, I could also leverage some food. Steve: Come on then, we can leverage my car to get to the sandwich leverager. Paula: Good leverage, we should leverage your leverage so we'll leverage Steve: Leverage

Recyclopath November 29, 2011 n. 1) A person who militantly engages in recycling and is so hostile to simply throwing away garbage, it borders on mental illness. 2) Pejorative for an extreme environmentalist Leigh pees in a bucket and uses it to water and fertilize her garden--what a recyclopath!

Jeebus November 28, 2011 Jeebus was born over 2000 years ago and started the religion of Christianity. Jeebus Crust is the son of Gosh and part of the Holy 3-Some (or Mnage Trois). Jeebus was born to Bloody Mary, a virgin, by a miracle of the Spirit of Truthiness. The Holy 19 | P a g e

Babble gives an account of an angel visiting Bloody Mary to tell her that she was chosen to bare the Son of Gosh. Jeebus Crust is the savior of the one and only true religion, Christianity.

Job Creator Euphemism for rich person. Wow! look at that job creator driving his aston martin to get onto his private jet so he can go to his private island!

Thanksgiving Hangover The result of eating too much on Thanksgiving, and feeling like shit the next morning. Person 1: I have a major Thanksgiving hangover right now. Person 2: Yeah, me too, I ate so much yesterday.

thanksgiving Only in America do have a Federal holiday to remember what we are thankful for, immediately followed by the largest shopping day of the year to max out our credit cards for the next holiday, Christmas. Thanksgiving is not just a holiday but should be a state of mind all year long.

potato fever

A term describing when a non-white person has a sexual attraction or preference for a white person or for white people exclusively Jun is Mexican but he only dates white guys. He has a serious case of potato fever.

irish goodbye

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leaving the bar or anywhere for that matter, without closing niceties, like a kiss goodbye to that annoying girl or mentioning something to your friends Where'd Cornelius go? He must have pulled another Irish goodbye, that bastard.

Rehab Sunglasses

Sunglasses worn inside. I saw three women in the supermarket wearing rehab sunglasses.

barside manner

Manner or conduct of a bartender, when waiting on customers. That bartender hasn't acknowledged me since I've sat down. What bad barside manner!

hunger pack

A six pack that is only visible when you are very hungry. Guy 1: "What happened to my six pack? I could see it when I woke up in the morning.. did I fall out of shape in a matter of hours?"

Guy 2: "Must have been just a hunger pack... lololol"

Void the Warranty

To perform an activity in an extreme fashion.

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"you're hitting the bars tonight? Let's void the warranty!" "I voided her warranty all night long"

aforetexted

Referring to a subject mentioned from an earlier text message. Hey Margo, I want to apologize for the aforetexted gibbersh I sent you a few hours ago -- it was late and I'd had far too much cherry rubinoff.

Buddy in-law

A friend of a friend of yours. Someone you have yet to meet, but is friends with your friend. Someone you share a mutual friend with. Someone you share a mutual buddy with. Oh your friends with (insert mutual friends name)? That makes us buddy in-laws!

brovember

The eleventh month of the year, formerly known as November.

Brovember is a month dedicated to guys doing "guy things" such as watching football, going fishing, climbing mountains, and grillin.

During the month of Brovember, a man is exempt from feminine activities in order to strengthen the bonds between his bros. "Sorry guys, no poker tonight. My wife wants me to go the opera, tonight."

"You serious dude? Today's the first of Brovember!"

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Identiphobia

The fear of looking like someone else, who you know or someone else on the street. The fear of being identical in some way to some one. "Is she really wearing the same shirt as me, I have to take it off... I have identiphobia."

Disasterbate

When, after unsuccessfully attempting to pick up at the bar (or elsewhere), one returns home to masturbate... Generally while sobbing. "I was chatting up this totally hot yoga instructor all night when she decides to mention that she has a boyfriend... So I basically had no choice but to head home alone and disasterbate."

Buddy Whoring

People who randomnly collect "friends" on Facebook or other social sites in which they have no idea who the hell they are. Jay is buddy whoring again. He has requested all of my friends that he doesn't even know!

Pillow partition

A pillow partition is a section of pillows placed between two bedmates, who are not lovers, to avoid any accidental touching while asleep. The bedmates using a pillow partition are typically heterosexual males, who are forced to sleep in the same bed on a trip for logistical reasons. If one male is straight, and the other's sexuality can be considered a bit ambiguous, the pillow partition is a necessity. It can also be used to 23 | P a g e

save face to any other males on the trip who might joke about the two bedmates sleeping together. Example 1: "Yikes, I asked for a room with two beds, not one big bed. Luckily, they gave us enough pillows for a pillow partition."

Example 2: Person 1 - "Damn, yall slept together in the same bed? Yall must be gay." Person 2 - "Nah man, it's cool. We had a pillow partition, so nothing touched."

Example 3: Person 1 - "It sucks that you're going to have to share a bed with Pat. I'm not really sure, but I think he may swing both ways." Person 2 - "Yeah, I'm going to be enforcing a strict pillow partition rule."

a kim kardashian

When you have been dating for 72 days Joe: How have you two been dating? Jim: For a kim kardashian Joe: lol a what? Jim: a kim kardashian is 72, like her marriage.

Ring Rage

That feeling you get when your iPhone rings from someone actually "calling" you. Joe's ring rage is out of control when his iPhone rings while he is updating his Facebook page.

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farting at a fan

1) Harming one's self, usually unintentionally or without knowledge of doing so. 2) Similar to saying "you are only hurting yourself." 3) Similar to phrase "shooting yourself in the foot." Fred: "I got really annoyed at work today, so I told my boss to shut up."

Andy: "That's just farting at a fan, man."

Mechanic's Arm

A mechanic's arm is what happens when you wank too much; one arm becomes more muscular than the other. Someone who lies on their back all day tightening nuts. John: "Jaidon, you've probably got mechanic's arm from her Facebook photos".

Jaidon: "Ha ha, very funny."

Cough and Call

A term used to call in sick from work. I just wasn't in the mood for people's bullshit today so I pulled a cough and call.

Damn nature you scary

Expression of fear and awe at the wonderment of the animal kingdom. Look at that cheetah go...Damn nature you scary!

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bachelor sip

to drink water directly from the faucet. Dude 1: "Hey, you need a glass?" Dude 2: "Nah, I'll just take a quick bachelor sip."

Scoratorium

The purposeful avoidance of all forms of media or communication which might disclose the results of a sporting event that an individual is recording on a device such as a digital video recorder ("DVR") for future viewing. May also require notice of such condition to friends, family and co-workers to avoid inadvertent disclosure of results by them. I have to stay late at work tonight so I am on scoratorium for the Sharks game. Don't tell me the score. I have it DVR"d for later tonight when I get home.

Halloween

An annual excuse for girls to dress like sluts and get away with it. Girl 1: I'm going to be a ______ for Halloween. Girl 2: What's your costume look like? Girl 1: I'm wearing my ______ underwear and _____ bra and heels.

Halloweenorexia

An eating disorder that only proceeds a month before Halloween. Mainly occuring in young women, characterized by a self-induced starvation in order to look hot in their slutty Halloween costumes. Halloweenorexia ends the following day and is usually followed by a food binge. 26 | P a g e

Giovanna: Did you see Sabreena in her lingerie outfit on Halloween?

AunaLee: Ya she lost so much weight! She looked bomb!

Giovanna: She'll gain it all back, she suffers from Halloweenorexia.

freddy cougar

The old chick who totally rocks her slutty Halloween costume. Did you see Freddy Cougar all over that poor kitten? He stood no chance.

Passport To Jersey

(n) A brightly colored or pastel polo shirt with upturned collar and a pooka shell necklace. Normally accompanied by an artifically bronzed tan. Bubba, from Pennsylvnia, was going to Atlantic City for the weekend so he swung by Hollister to pick up his PASSPORT TO JERSEY.

skeezy

A combination of Sketchy (dubious) and sleazy(dirty or vulgar) That middle-aged man hanging outside the high school parking lot was majorly skeezy

Load Of Shame

When one gets so turned on, that one bust a load in pants, then has to walk an extreme distance with load in pants.

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Jak: Dude, i was on the bus and mandy was kissing on my neck and gave me the load of shame. Jimmy: dude, im sorry to hear that.

I'm very humbled

A phrase used to be modest under false pretenses. A. I'm very humbled to except this award.

B. I'm very humbled that so many people could be here.

food boner

when one becomes aroused at the sight of food. Happens in anticipation of a good meal. I got a food boner yesterday when i saw how much bacon there was

Groutfiti

A form of graffiti. It involves writing in the tiny space of grout in between tiles in public toilets. The phrases always are made up of some pun using the word grout. Other examples include movie titles, like "The grout, the bad, and the ugly" or simple words, like "groutrageous."

This type of graffiti has no deep meaning, but it is a great example of intellectual fun. It makes sense that it exists primarily around Universities where people are intelligent, yet very young and therefore still trying to amuse themselves and others

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by doing things like writing on walls. It all starts when one person makes one of these grout puns and it is seen by another student who, while urinating, who then thinks of another pun and writes it on another section of grout. Soon the "groutfiti" spreads and people spontaneously think of puns while pissing. "Thrre stikes and you're grout" "The Grout Gatsby" "The Grout Barrier Reef" "The Groutain of Youth"

cringeworthy

When someone does something that is worthy of a cringe Did you see the way the guys on The Apprentice acted? They were cringeworthy to say the least. buy cringeworthy mugs & shirts by Apollo Bar share this

Diarrhea of the Mouse

Uncontrollable rambling via internet - email, blog, instant message, etc. Spin-off of the original phrase "diarrhea of the mouth." The compulsive blogger suffered a severe case of diarrhea of the mouse.

Stress Eater

Someone who, in reaction to high levels of stress, eats excessive amounts of food.

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"Damn, John just ate four hamburgers and downed a chocolate shake!"

"Yeah, he has been studying for finals all week."

"Wow, that guy is a wicked stress eater."

buffet momentum

The lack of self-restraint one experiences after having started eating at a buffet. This phenomenon causes a person to consume above and beyond what comprises a regularly sized meal. This feeling usually occurs in the first fifteen minutes of the buffet and is further perpetuated by:

a) remembering something delicious that you saw earlier and didn't have room on your plate for

b) wanting more of something you just tried

c) the desire to make the price you paid worthwhile

d) the need to illustrate to your friends that your stomach is indeed a bottomless pit. "Wow, I just consumed three plates of food. Maybe we should wait a while before hitting up the dessert table."

"I disagree. In about 10 minutes my stomach is going to realize that it's full, so I think I'll just make use of the buffet momentum that I've developed and get dessert right now."

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manolescent

noun: A man of any age that shirks adult responsabilities. "Yeah, you're awesome. Anyone would be a fool to not be with you. I really want to be free though. Can we keep this fairly low key even though we are in our late 20s?": manolescent.

"Yeah, I lived in Whistler for 10 years. That was the best time of my life. Let's talk about my partying during this whole first date. ... Oh right, I have three kids with my ex.": manolescent

Brofessional

a professional bro. This is a person who excels in party related activity with a professional style. They are good at all things party: i.e. drinking, smoking, dancing, talking to the opposite sex, getting out of situations, etc. We were down to one cup in our beerpong game and Brad just walked up, looked at the cup, and sank it in one shot. A true brofessional.

carnevoyeur

A vegetarian who derives satisfaction from watching other people eat meat or hearing about the eating of meat. Amy says she's a vegetarian, but she also professes her love for Dinty Moore beef stew and keeps telling me I should go eat Korean Fried Chicken. She's such a carnevoyeur

Text out

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To weasel out of a prior engagement by text message. Not to be confused with text message breakup. Man, I can't bear the thought of going to dinner with Jane again, so I think I am going to text out.

shitload

more than an assload but still less than a fuckton. I have a shitload of beer, but down at my friend's place, they have a whole fuckton.

thisclose

Very, very close. It is the written equivalent to the oral statement "this close," where the speaker uses certain vocal intonations and hand gestures to indicate a high level of closeness. My football team was thisclose to winning the game, but the opposing team scored as time expired. He was sitting thisclose to me on the subway.

AF

acronym for "as fuck" Man that party was tight AF last night.

chicks before dicks

The female version of Bros before Hoes. Used by women as meaning all female friends come before sex/hookups/bfs. No I'm going to hang with my girls today. Chicks before Dicks anytime. 32 | P a g e

mind over bladder

The power to be able to suppress any urination needs regardless of the urgency and pain it may cause. Joe: Dude! Stop the car! I REALLY need to take a piss right now!! Pete: No can do, man! Just use your mind over bladder!

Intentional Walk

When an individual feels pity for a fellow being and gives them a free pass to "first base". Anna had felt so bad for Tyler that she gave him an Intentional Walk and kissed him by the lockers.

Cold Anxiety

When you hate the cold so much you take certain steps in your life to avoid cold situations. You miss out on events and other happenings because it is either 1) taking place on a cold night outside or 2) taking place on a night with a touch of cold and you are nervous that your sweater won't be warm enough. You do not fear the alarm clock, you fear the cold burst of air that will flow over your body once you pull the comfortor off your body. You don't hate showering, but you hate the feeling of stepping out of the shower and towelling off so you either a) blow-dry your body before your hair, or b) install a sauna next to your shower. You also find yourself in a sweatshirt while others are wearing bathingsuits and you stare in disbelief at how cold they must be! "I didn't go meet my girlfriends out at the Marina tonight because I had too much cold anxiety!!" 33 | P a g e

"Why are you late for work?' "My cold anxiety kept me in bed too long!"

"Why are you wearing a jacket in the summer?"

"cold anxiety!"

floss d'oeuvres

The food remnants that are collected by flossing which for the most part are covertly re-eaten by the owner since spitting them across the room would be regarded as tacky and vulgar. John: Did you just eat the crap you pulled from your teeth with that flossing stick Fab??

Fab: And why not?? No reason to waste a good floss d'oeuvres boy!

Gaming sense

The ability to sense things in games, simply because of predictable, long-standing game cliches. My gaming sense tells me that this innocuous red barrel will explode if thrown.

My gaming sense tells me that this grave will have valuable items in it if I dig it up.

My gaming sense tells me that I'll have to fight a boss in this unexpectedly cavernous room. 34 | P a g e

sexercism

Having sex with someone new to get over someone old. A way to cut any last emotional ties to a person you used to have sex with. A non-religious, therapeutic exercise. Person 1: She needs to get over her ex already! Person 2: Yeah, she needs a sexercism real fast.

Fart and Dart

Verb: To fart and leave others to enjoy the fumes. See also: Shit and Split I like to Fart and Dart in the grocery store. It's awesome to see the expressions when people walk through the cloud with their mouths wide open.

Joined at the Dick

At least two heterosexual men or 'bros' who cannot be mentioned without the other because they never leave each other's side. "Hey! Did you see Jim today?" "You mean Jim and Tony, right?" "Oh yeah, I forget they're joined at the dick"

Layout Bitching

The act of users posting statuses on Facebook, bitching and moaning unnecessarily about new layouts. 35 | P a g e

Person A: "WHAT THE HELL FACEBOOK, Y U ALWAYS CHANGE LAYOUT?"

Person B: "Shut the hell up and stop layout bitching."

unlightening

A process of "learning" something that makes you feel dumber. The conversation I had with my blind date was so unlightening that I practically fell asleep before the salad course.

lls

abreviation for "laffin like shyt" damn wen i saw wat she was wearing i saw lls

Bowl Echo

The awesome sound produced by letting one off whilst sitting on the toilet. Dude, that fuckin' bowl echo was awesome

masternap

The act - either planned or unplanned - of falling to sleep after masturbating. I was just going to rub one out, but I ended up masternapping for an hour.

Bob's been away from his wife for two days, so he went upstairs for a masternap.

Conference Call of Duty

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A work related conference call in which you dial in from home while playing Call of Duty. Practitioners must take care to not un-mute their phone with gunshots blaring in the background. Working from home today? Yeah dude, Conference Call of Duty

spending amnesia

Trying to recall where and when you spent all your money normally when that said money is needed. Occurs because of bad spending habits and fucking awesome party nights. "Dude, I'm so bad with money! It just disappears."

"You might have spending amnesia. I remember you lost at beer pong then hit the pubs with those trannys.'"

lunch-blocking

\lnch-blkeng\ The act of preventing or postponing someone from going to lunch through actions such as scheduling meetings, asking questions, or starting discussions at or near lunch time for the target of the block. Fred: Where were you? We missed you at lunch.

Bob: My boss scheduled a meeting from 11AM - 2PM today. I was totally lunchblocked.

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Fred: Yeah, my boss was totally lunch-blocking me all last week when he would popin to my office at 10:55 for a status report knowing I always go to lunch at 11AM!

Dragon Ass

A state of sluggishness, inactivity, and apathy usually brought on by an extended period of hard work. This has been a such a long day. I've got a bad case of dragon ass

zero calorie dinner

When your dinner passes right through your body, causing the runs, or the shits. Providing your body with no nutrion and zero calories. Man that steak isn't agreeing with me, looks like I'm having a zero calorie dinner tonight.

I was on the can all night, had a nother zero calorie dinner.

Serial Infatuator

A Serial Infatuator is someone who continually has intimate relationships that last only between 3-5 months. It is the defined timeline for infatuation. My recent lover is a Serial Infatuator. He does not get past the 5 month mark where infatuation gives way to true love.

epic fail

Complete and total failure when success should have been reasonably easy to attain.

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<after getting pwned in a video game>

Player1 Dude, we just got reamed Player2 Yeah, Epic Fail

dearthquake

Noun. A very minor tremor or vibration that causes a media frenzy while actually having little effect or no real damage. Yo, bro - did you feel that wicked dearthquake this morning? No dude, I was busy carpet sweeping my girl's rug and felt no tremors at all.

party hats

erect and mighty pointed nipples Hey it must be cold out because your mom has her party hats on.

Regret Ceiling

(noun) - The point at which one stops feeling remorseful regarding a thought, comment or action. I hit the regret ceiling last night regarding my comment toward Jody's weight several weeks ago. Her fat ass just needs to get over it.

Ladyboner

A slang term for when a woman is sexually attracted to a man or another woman.

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The word may also be used as a name for the said man or woman who is the object of attraction. Woman 1: "David Beckham is so hot."

Woman 2: "Yeah, I have a total Ladyboner for him."

Woman 1: "George Clooney is my ultimate Ladyboner."

Labor Day

The holiday at the beginning of when school starts that nobody really knows what it means. Hey When's Labor Day? Next weekend Foo' Oh Man! Yes! ..Whats Labor Day anyway? I don't know Cuh'

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