FinalReport TroubledMarriagesintheSikhCommunityinCanada RegionofPeel March1,2010

By: Principal Researchers Baldev Mutta Amandeep Kaur Dipika Patel 11730 Airport Road, Brampton, ON, L6R 0C7 905.790.0808 info@pchs4u.com

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This report is the product of sustained efforts of the Punjabi Community Health Services which decided to initiate the research on troubled marriages in Sikh community. The research has benefited from the expertise and efforts of a large number of individuals and organizations in the Region of Peel and Toronto. The women and men who participated in the research study needs to be specially thanked for providing the research team their personal and sensitive information. Without their support and contribution, this research wouldnt have been possible. We are thankful to all those who strongly believed in this initiative and worked with us to address the concerns of women. We are thankful to Mr. Baldev Mutta who conceived this project and created conditions for it to be implemented. He made sure that the study was scientifically sound and would prove useful information to persons and organizations working for and with women. We are also thankful to Ms. Amandeep Kaur under whose supervision this report was completed. Her timely suggestions, critique, and helpful hints contributed immensely towards the completion of this report. We are thankful to our volunteers who assisted in a variety of capacities to have this research project completed. We are thankful to all women and men who participated in this research study.

Executive Summary The research study titled Troubled Marriages in Sikh Community in Canada was an attempt towards the development of a comprehensive service delivery system for this minority group to tackle discrimination in their marriages. This internet based research is an exploratory study taken with the objectives of determining the complex issues covering the marriage complications in Sikh couples; study indicates many different issues and values for trouble marriages. Research study was developed to identify the supportive recommendation, to discuss about the different issues and to generate a momentum to talk about the issues in the community. Methodology The broad aims of the study are to gather and assess the availability of the evidence for the community awareness The first part of the research approach was to look at the informational pattern regarding the culture and the community. The research study involved Sikh community residing in Canada. The study comprised participant who accepted to share their personal feelings about their relationship. In-depth analysis encrypted to understand the issues and the problems related in dissatisfaction of being married. Definite patterns are seemed to involve in the broken marriages.

Major Findings The discrete analysis of the survey brings out the amazing results that are the major concern for the married couples. The study analyse the fact, that majority of the participant were dissatisfied

in their marriages and indentifies of being abuse in their relationship. Majority of participant indicates too much of in-law interference as the biggest reason for the separation or divorce in the marriages. Issues such as social and psychological abuse are also the major concern. The detailed findings are complied in the report. Major Recommendations The study suggests the following actions to be implemented in the relationship: Stop interference of the in-laws in the marriage life. Formal counselling by the Social Worker within the community i.e. Sikh Counsellor. (i.e. due to language and culture barrier) Time share, honesty and mutual understanding between the couples. Educating and spreading awareness about the abuse relations. Open mind to discuss the issues with opposite partner.

Outcome The research study helped to identify the need to develop supportive mechanisms for Sikh couples who experience difficulties in their married life.

Survey Analysis: Total of 120 people were participant in the survey. Out of which 62 were female and 58 were male. 68 respondents were between ages of 31 to 50. The majority of the respondents were from Canada. The majority of the respondents were belonging to Sikh Religion. The majority of the respondents were married. The majority of the marriages were no inter-faith, inter-racial or same sex marriage. 55.6% of respondent were having problems in their married life. 54.5% were seeking informal counselling from priests, friends, relatives or elders. 45.5% were under formal counselling. Majority of 54.3% respondents were seeking problems dues to, too much of in-laws interferences and their spouse listening to their own family. 34.8% of the respondents experiencing physical violence in their relations. 37% of the respondents identify having too much of values differences in their relations. 30.4% of the respondents agree that their partner does not stand beside when accusations are levelled against them. 67.6% of the respondents are separated and 65.1% seek informal counselling. 73.5% gets informal counselling by Parents, 64.7% by Relatives, 32.4% from Elders, 47.1% from Friends and 23.5% from Work Colleagues. 77.8% demand to get counselling from Social Workers, 44.4% from Marriage counsellor and only 16.7% from Psychologists.

67.6% identifies that their spouse listening to own relatives as the major reason for their separation.

61.8% the violent abuse and 44.1% due to non- compatibility in the relation are the major issues in their unsuccessful marriage.

95.2% identifies that the Sikh religion is the one among every religion were marriages fall apart.

83.8% identifies too much interference from the in-laws as the major reason for their marriage failure.

73.7% agrees that Physical abuse also failed their marriages. It is follow by 56.6% due to external affair, 61.65 due to addictions (alcohol or drugs) , 53.5% was marriage of convince (i.e. married to come Canada)

76% of Sikh couples seek informal counselling. 83.1% from relatives, 62.7% from friends, 44.6% from elders and 16.9% from family Physician

82.1% agrees to get formal counselling from Marriage counsellor, 60.7% by Social Worker. 87.1% prefers Sikh Counsellors over Mainstream counsellors. 92.2% suggest that spending time with spouses save marriages.

Troubled Marriage in the Sikh Community in Canada

1. AreyouaSikh?
100.00% 80.00% 60.00% 40.00% 20.00% 0.00% Yes No

90.8% 9.2%

2. AreyouMaleorFemale?
Female , 51.70% Male, 48.30%

3. Areyoubetweentheages?
60.00% 50.00% 40.00% 30.00%

57.1%
20.00% 10.00% 0.00% 1830 3150 5171 Above71

26.1 16.8

4. AreyouresidinginCanada?

100.00% 80.00% 60.00% 40.00% 20.00% 0.00% Yes No

89.2% 10.8%

5. Areyoumarried,livingincommonlaw,orlivingtogether?

100.00% 80.00% 60.00% 40.00% 20.00% 0.00% Yes No

83.9 10.8%

6. Wasthisanarrangemarriage?
no 2%

Yes 98%

7. IsthisanInterfaithmarriage?(betweentworeligion)

ResponsePercent

100.00% 80.00% 60.00% 40.00% 20.00% 0.00% yes no

89.9% 10.1%

8. Isthisaninterracialmarriage?(betweentworaces)
120.00% 100.00%

ResponsePercent

80.00% 60.00% 40.00% 20.00% 0.00% yes no

97.5% 2.5%

9. Isthisasamesexmarriage?
120.00% 100.00%

ResponePercent

80.00% 60.00% 40.00% 20.00% 0.00% yes no

97.6% 2.4%

10. Areyouexperiencingmarriageproblem?

No 44.4% Yes 55.6%

11. Ifyes,areyouseekingmarriagecounselling?

70.00%

Respnse Percent

60.00% 50.00% 40.00% 30.00% 20.00% 10.00% 0.00% Yes No

64.8% 35.2%

12. Ifyes,areyouseekinginformalorformalcounselling?
56.00% 54.00% 52.00% 50.00% 48.00% 46.00% 44.00% 42.00% 40.00% infromal(Priest,friends, relatives,elders) Formal(SocialWorker, marriagecounsellors, psycologists,psychiatris)

54.5% 45.5%

13. Areyou..................
70.00% 60.00% 50.00% 40.00% 30.00% 20.00% 10.00% 0.00% Seperated Divorced

67.6%

32.4%

14. Didyouseekinformalcounselling?

No

34.9%

Yes

65.1%

0.00% 10.00% 20.00% 30.00% 40.00% 50.00% 60.00% 70.00%

 15. Whatarethereasonsofyourmarriageproblems?
Marriageof convience,14.70% Spouse demanding drowy, 23.50% Spousedoesnot standbesideme when"accusations" areleveledagainst mebytherelatives, 47.10% Spouselisteningtoown parents,sistersor brothers,67.60% Toomuchvalues differencebetween spouses,50%

marriageproblemsas resultofImmigration issuse,11.80%

Spousesnolonger compatible,44.10%

Spousebecomesviolent afterdrinkingor consumingdrugs, 35.30% Spousesidingwith children,38.20%

Toomuchofinlaws interference,58.80%

Spousehavingan affair,32.40% Spousebecomesviolent ,61.80% Spouse addictedto alcoholor drugs,32.40% Spouse overwork, 17.60% Spouseawayfromhome Oneorboth formorethantwodays/ spousesengagedin week,17.60% shiftwork,20.60%

16. Whocounselledyouinformallyinitially?
80.00% 70.00% 60.00% 50.00% 40.00% 30.00% 20.00% 10.00% 0.00% Parents Relatives Elders Friends Work Colleagues

73.5% 64.7%

32.4%

47.1% 23.5%

17. Didyouseekformal(Professional)counselling?

58.50% 41.50%

Yes

No

18. Didyouseekformalcounsellingfrom..............?
Psycholog ist 12%

ChartTitle
Social Worker 56%

Marriage Counsellor 32%

 19. Whatwerethereasonsforyouseparation/divorce?
Marriageofconvience 14.7% Spousedemanding drowy 23.5% Spousedoesnot standbesideme when "accusations"are leveledagainstme bytherelatives 47.1% Spouselisteningtoown parents,sistersor brothers 67.6%

marriageproblems asresultof Immigrationissuse 11.8%

Spousesnolonger compatible 44.1%

Toomuchvalues differencebetween spouses 50%

Spousebecomes violentafterdrinkingor consumingdrugs 35.3% Spousesidingwith children 38.2%

Toomuchofinlaws interference 58.8%

Spousehavingan affair 32.4% Spousebecomes violent 61.8% Spouse addictedto alcoholor drugs 32.4%

Spouse overwork 17.6%

Spouseawayfrom Oneorbothspouses homeformorethan twodays/week engagedinshiftwork 17.6% 20.6%

 20. Ineveryreligionmarriagefallapart,isthistruefortheSikhreligioninCanada?

No

4.8%

Yes

95.2%

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

100.00%

21. DoyouthinkSikhcouplesseekinformalcounselling?

No

24.0%

Yes

76.0%

0%

20%

40%

60%

80%

22. Ifyes,fromwhom;
FamilyDoctors friends Relatives Elders Priest 0%

16.9% 62.7% 83.1% 44.6% 12.0%

20% 40% 60% 80% 100%

 23. WhatarethereasonsfortheFailedmarriages?

Immigrationissuse arethemaon contention,42.40%

Marriageof covienence( marriedto Spouse come demanding Canada), dowry,43.40% 53.50%

Spousebecome violentafterdrinking ortakingdrugs, 73.70%

Childrenarethe sourcesofconflict betweenspouses, 43.40%

Nolongercomatible, 46.50%

Oneorbothspouses havinganaffair, 56.60% Oneorbothspouses engagedinshift work,52.50%

Valuedifference, 61.60%

Toomuch interferencefromIn laws,83.80% Spousesaddictedto Spouseisviolent alcoholordrugs, towardtheother, 61.60% 60.60%

Spouseaway fromhomefor morethantwo days/week, 35.40% Oneorbothspouses areoverworked no timeforeachother, 38.40%

24. DoyouthinkSikhcouplesseekformalcounselling?

No

73.8%

Yes

26.2%

0.00%

20.00%

40.00%

60.00%

80.00%

25. Ifyes,fromwhom?
Psychiatrist, 25.20% Psycologist, 21.40% Marriage Counselor, 82.10% Social Worker, 60.70%

26. WouldSikhcouplespreferaSikhmarriagecounsellorfromanothermainstream community?

Mainstream Counsellors, 12.90%

Sikh Counsellor, 87.10%

27. Whatareyoursuggestionsforastrongmarriage?

Stayintouchwith yourreligion,74.80% Tkecareofyour childrenfirstand foremost,74.80%

spendtimewithyour spouse,92.20%

Takecareofyour spouse,82.50%

ForgiveandForgetto yourspouse,74.80% Berespectfultoyour spouse,90.30% communicate respectfullywith yourspouse,89.30% behonesttoyour spouse,90.30% Beresponsibleto yourspouse,82.50%

Conclusion On the basis of the study analysis following conclusion emerged 1. Developed the formal marriage counselling programs for Sikh couples. 2. Education and awareness programs a. Understanding the legal system b. Understanding the social work system c. Understanding the family involvement in the martial disputes. d. Understanding the importance of time-share as a vital code for healthy relationship.