Cherry Ann O. Landrito To Belong..

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I remember my self being forced to examine the way people viewed me, contemplating whether or not I was likeable or acceptable. Psychologist Erik Erickson called this Identity vs. Role Confusion: when a young adult undergoes self-perception in order to understand their abilities and limitations. Put simply, for me it was the first time I faced the pressure of "fitting in." When my parents sent me the width of the country to be a student of a prestigious school in Manila, FEU, I found my self enough to be subjected to death and this time I didnt have my family or friends to go home to for comfort and affirmation. It was one of the toughest times of my life. Yes, I am one of those who faced the non-functional social atmosphere to counter the daily stresses of school and home sickness. I am one of the probinsiyanas in our section that time, yes, a probinsiyana, I am a person who descended from simple living environment. That time, I am not familiar with the people, their behavior, and their attitude. And of course the big question ishow will I fit in???????. I intend to change my self a bit everyday just to belong. I have been part of group of sosyaleras, and I know for my self that I am not a sosyalera, but to satisfy my need to belong, I jive with their likes, talks about the latest artist issues on T.V., eat at fast food chains, and being not so serious about studies. Yes, I do feel that I fit in with them, but I dont know if I also fit in to be myself, my real self. I do not feel happy that time, first of all, I am not a sosyalera, second is I am not that rich to be an everyday tambay of fast-food chains that costs me 200 pesos a day, third, I am not fond of artists stories, and Im not a techie person, lastly, I am a grade conscious person. It is just then, that I make my self to be my self again, next days; I started to redeemed Cherry, and know her better. I realized I dont have to fit in to be accepted but instead I need to offer them the real me to be accepted. As I went through my early year of college life , I finally found the people that I am happy with, and as of now we are still best of friends, we do not forced ourselves to be like each other, but to be who we are. As a conclusion, I think that as prideful young adults we tend to forget that we dont know everything. The experience of encountering a strange world often forces us to re-examine ourselves. Like Eriksons theory of development points out, this is when individuals encounter their boundaries. We externally seek our identity within a community, but internally were really just looking for ourselves. This is what Erikson meant by role-confusion. We have to realize that while we search for a community, we dont need to play a role, nor should we be stubborn, in order to be happy. Happiness, Isnt that what were all looking for, inevitably? The answer to Lifes Big Question?, The eternal search for happiness a.k.a. contentment? By examining other colleges, we may discover that the polarization of happiness and misery, contentment and contempt, and love and hate for a community is common. Difficulties with "fitting in" arent exclusive to FEU. College has the capability of offering a home, whats home-sickness about? It is a lack of comfort, a lack of familiarity, community and love all things that a proper home should provide. Therefore, adjustment to a new environment equates to building a new home. College is unlike any other time in a young persons life. This is a time when students gain the opportunity to step beyond the shelter of family and encounter the world on their own. So its very natural to feel vulnerable outside of that shelter. Because humans are social beings, the search for home requires relating to other people. If that means taking a step back and re-examining yourself, you should do it. People need others. People need care, familiarity and community. They need a world that they understand and can operate in. Only in such a world can a person find the kind of love they can call family love. The trials of personal identity and social acceptance are among the most difficult in life. But the benefits of undergoing the transformation from a dependent adolescent to an independent adult prove to be more redeeming than any artists life and friendsters testimonials.