Body Language

INTRODUCTION

Each person has many indicators of who they are. Facial expressions, body language, speech patterns, and handwriting all
reveal insights into an individual's emotions and personality. How we communicate is much more important than the words
we say. Many studies and reports have shown that communication is approximately 7% verbal, 38% vocal, and 55% body
expressions.

Body language is the science called kinesthetic. By careful observation of how someone presents herself, you can
understand whether your communication is achieving its goal. By controlling your body actions, you can control the
conversation. Although body language is generally an auto response to a situation, you can determine to change your
language and as a result change your message and acceptability.

It has been shown that you have 20 seconds to make a good first impression. You then have 5 minutes to prove yourself.
After that you may be tuned out and lose the opportunity.

The brain operates as a feedback control system. It controls the neuromuscular action based on a personality
characteristic and perception. If the language is changed, then that trait will be modified. The mental paths are drawn
whether the traits are trained or untrained.

The practice of kinesthetics is as old as mankind. We have all used it, even if not trained in its nuances. Who can not
recognize when another person raises an eyebrow or shrugs a shoulder indicating a question of the credibility?

The science is important in personal relationships as well as business ventures. We are all selling something - either
ourselves, an idea, or a product. Therefore understanding how your client or relation is perceiving you is crucial to your

success.

Body Language - Diagram

Since many indicators reflect who a person is, we have developed common approaches
to identification and analysis. The procedures and structures commonly taught are
primarily based on correlations to a personality trait. The trait is identified, then the
appropriate language is described. Although this is effective to describe the trait, it is
inconvenient for a structured, mechanical examination of the expression.

Because of my background and frequent research into mathematical structure of

physical sciences, it became apparent there is a very consistent arrangement of all
psychological and physiological symbols. These characteristics are three-dimensional.
However, for one plane of analysis, this discussion breaks the study into the quadrants
of a circle. If the circle includes all possible body language points, then the language
can reasonably be segregated into sections. As would be expected, this is very similar
to the analysis of personality tendencies.

The two basic indicators of body language are leaning forward or backward and having
an open or closed position. Leaning forward is active while leaning back is passive
participation. An open posture is positive, while a closed posture portrays a negative
attitude.

There are numerous muscles and attitudes that can be reflected in infinite number of
points within the circle of body language expressions. Nevertheless, the basic
expressions can be identified by the quadrants created from these two indicators.

The symbols represent the Involved, Supportive, Determined, and Constrained.

Discussion of the significance and physical characteristics of each term are listed in
Table of Traits.

On its base level, body language is a physical expression of emotional response.

Therefore, every person will express all these positions depending on the situation,
stimulus, and comfort level. At the second level, the mental process can make a
decision to express a certain attitude that results in a physical expression. At the third
level, the body language can represent a mechanical response to an environmental or
physical situation. This is a circular process that is discussed in much more detail in the
section on Control.

A simple example illustrates the three levels. When a person is caught off guard, the
first emotional reaction is to pull back and close up. Because of a previous experience,
a person may not like someone or the way the person looks and makes a mental choice
to pull back and close up. When the temperature is cold, a person will pull back and
close up. Whether the body position is a result of emotional, mental, or physical
circumstances, the expression is similar and the mental responsiveness is the same. A
person that is cold from the temperature will be cold to your ideas and discussions.

Each of the quadrants is also the home response for one of the personality styles. It is
the expression that the personality will go to without further stimulus. Regardless, every
person can control the body language to achieve a particular response.

By observing the body language when you are talking to someone, you can improve the
influence to your way of thinking. Ask the right questions to move them from the
negative side to the 'S' and finally to the 'I' language. Attempt to close the transaction
only after they are moved to the involved quadrant.

Similarly, by controlling your body language when talking, you will present a particular
image. A person that is Involved during his discussion is much more believable than a
person that is constrained.

Since the body language correlates with the personality traits of a person, it is
appropriate to consider a few other symbols that have been used in psychological
circles. These are various ways that have been used to illustrate a persons reactions to
stimulus. The trait color is the classic representation of the characteristics based on
Hypocrites. The preferred color is the one that is often selected as the most liked.

Type Name Trait Prefer Animal Car Ships

I involved red red puppy convertible Paradise Star cruise
S supportive milky blue cat van Intrepid scout
D determined yellow green $ Doberman Cadillac Missouri battleship
C constrained black yellow tropical fish Toyota/Honda Calypso research

Body Language - Table

A brief table correlates the body positions with basic terms and how to respond to the
person. Each of the quadrants of the circle correspond to a participation level by the
listener. The attitude may be positive or negative and the action may be active or
passive. The level of intensity increases as you move out on the circle from mild to
strong. There is enough difference in the kinesthetics to notice different positions and to
warrant different terms.

Type Name Position Lean Attitude Action Q Intensity Term

I Involved open forward positive active +A mild interested
strong intent
S Supporting open back positive passive +P mild soaking up
strong searching
D Determined closed forward negative active -A mild dominant
strong disbelief
C Constrained closed back negative passive -P mild cavalier
strong critical

INVOLVED is active and positive. In the mild case the person is INTERESTED in what
is happening. At the height of active interest the person is INTENT to do something.

SUPPORTING is passive but positive. SOAKING-UP means he is listening and you

should go ahead with what you are saying. SEARCHING is more positive and implies
she is thinking about it and evaluating what is happening.

DETERMINED is active but negative. In the DOMINANT posture, the person disagrees
and wants to make his point. Further regression to negative attitude is shown in active
DISBELIEF.

CONSTRAINED is passive and negative. The CAVALIER posture is indifferent to the

situation. A more closed position is CRITICAL evaluation.

When analyzing, use groups or clusters of physical positions. It is imprudent to look at

only one action. There may be other circumstances that prompt isolated events.

There may also appear to be a conflict between actions. These can generally be
resolved very easily by seeing if the conflict item is necessary to support the posture.
For example, stroking the chin is a positive response. However, this requires the arm
that is stroking to be held in a somewhat unnatural and uncomfortable position.
Therefore, it is common to use the other arm as a support. This would be a closed or
negative posture if it were not a supporting feature.

CORRELATION

There are only a few key items to observe that will identify each key term in the body
language.
 legs
feet
arms
hands
face
eyes

Each trait can be identified by the cluster of these anatomy actions.

INVOLVED Interested Intent

leaning forward forward
legs near together open
feet on floor under chair, on toes
arms open open
hands open, finger to temple one on thigh
face slight smile, looking intent
eyes open intent

SUPPORTING Soaking-up Searching

leaning back back
legs crossed in 4 pose crossed in 4 pose
feet
arms loop over chair back
hands clasp behind head stroke chin
face nodding, head tilted sucks glasses, etc
eyes lots of contact, high blink rate look up and right

DETERMINED Dominant Disbelief

leaning forward slinking
legs male knees spread
feet tapping shifts in seat
arms crossed or hands on hips
hands tap,clench,point,rub hair/neck touch face, over mouth, pull ear
face frown, anger down and left
eyes staring at you sideways glance
CONSTRAINED Cavalier Critical
leaning slumped moving back
legs over chair arm, locked ankles crossed in 11 pose
feet toward door, fidget
arms looped over chair back folded
pointer straight up, thumb under, third at
hands doodling, picking, clasp neck
mouth
face down, frown
eyes looking around

Body Language - Hands

Hand motions among men are the strongest indicator of attitude and emotions. Women
use these to a lesser extent in deference to facial expression. Although hand action is
very descriptive, it should not be used as a lone indicator of body language.

Consideration must be given to the other indicators such as leaning, face, arms, legs,
and feet. It is the combination that describes the kinesthetics. However, for men, this
remains the predominant clue.

Hands are presented in 3 ways - a single hand, two hands, and a serving hand. A
serving hand is presented toward the listener in the form of a handshake, pointer, or
exclamation. The description will be given, followed by the vernacular definition, and
the value.

Single Hand Motions

Action Meaning Type

pulling
up and ear
open hear noisevil
here it D
I
touching
pointer atnose
temple Pinocchio
put in mind(sensitive) D
I
finger under collar hot under collar D
stroke chin wait for whiskers S
rub back of neck pain in the neck D
hand folded under support you S
fingers through hair pulling hair out D
suck on pen,
scratching glasses
neck pacified
itching to talk S
D
o eri mofi th sa no
b i e hil d D
rubbing eye see no evil D
pulling ear hear no evil D
touching nose Pinocchio (sensitive) D
finger under collar hot under collar D
rub back of neck pain in the neck D
fingers through hair pulling hair out D
scratching neck itching to talk D
tapping finger beating the drum D
pointer up, thumb under, middle near mouth critical evaluation C
fiddling with gadgets other more important C
doodling going around in circles C
supporting head head rest C

Two Hand Motions

Action Meaning Type

steeple authority of god S
protruding thumbs from pocket I am thumbs up S
fast hand rub get warm together S
behind head passive comfort S
behind back attention S
on hip barricade D
slow hand rubbing greedy D
handshake pick pocket D
in fig leaf embarrassed C
behind neck passive indifferent C

Presented Hand Motions

Action Meaning Type

up submissive I
vertical equality S
down dominant D
 point club to beat you D
clenched holding anger D

Body Language - Action

WHAT TO DO

Each language position reflects what a person is feeling. To address those emotions,
there are specific directions you should head. In conjunction, there are questions that
may move the emotions and affect the attitude to the direction you desire.

Type Name What next Questions

complete
I Involved Does that make sense? Do you agree?
presentation
intent close the deal Let's run your name across here.
give more facts / I can see you know something about this,
S Supporting
listen would you care to share your opinion?
incentives / keep
searching
quiet
D Determined avoid contradiction How do you feel about this? (very carefully)
I see you have a question, would you mind
disbelief move to evaluating
telling me what it is?
spark interest even
C Constrained I can see you have a question.
irrelevant
critical What's your opinion?

Body Language - Body Images

 Intent Interested Intent

Interested Soaking Up Soaking Up

Soaking Up Soaking Up Soaking Up

Dominant Cavalier Cavalier

Critical Critical Critical

Critical
 Intent Soaking Up Soaking up

Dominant Disbelief Cavalier

Cavalier Critical

Body Language - Face

Facial expressions in women and to a lesser extent in men, reveal emotions, attitudes,
and anticipated action.

In English speaking societies, it is generally unprofessional and considered

unacceptable for a man to show emotions and feelings during business negotiations and
dealings. As a result men may not notice the small subtle nuances of expression. For
this reason, women often think men are insensitive.

Facial expressions are derived from the eyes, mouth, and tilt of the head. Since it is
such an important issue, eyes will be dealt with in a separate section.

There are numerous nuances. The figure dramatizes the expressions in cartoon form.
Nevertheless, these are an accurate overview of facial motions..
Body Language - Eyes

The eyes have been called the window to the soul. Through this opening, you can
observe into the very essence of a persons feeling. The eyes reveal more about the
emotions than any other physical expression.

Facial expressions are derived from the eyes, mouth, and tilt of the head. The eyes are
composed of the brows, lids, and gaze.

Each eye element has separate, independent motion that is controlled by specific
muscles. The muscles are the linkage that operates the physical response. The
emotions can cause an involuntary muscle action. In contrast the mental faculties can
voluntarily determine to create a particular attitude and expression..

The mouth and head tilt are very easily controlled by mental attitude. However, the
eyes will tend to subtly reveal the emotions, even when they are attempted to be under
control.

The eyes are such a major part of who a person is that our language has common
expressions that relate to this feature. The eyes observe and can be observed to reveal
the emotions and attitudes.

Each of the observing elements are separately identified with the language expression
and the psychological representation. The positive and negative signs illustrate whether
the person is receptive to you.

BROWS appearance vernacular expression

As
Upan interesting
raisedobservation, the shoulders
raise a question generally
question? + move the same as the eye lids. If
the lids are predominantly up, then the shoulders tend to be raised. Conversely, if the
Mid neutral
lids are predominantly down, then the shoulders droop. It is as if the same control
Down goes to
signal furrowed cuttingsets
two different deep exclamation! -
of muscles.
Down digging in look down on negative -
SIDE appearance vernacular expression

Left slice I am right active

Right salute you may be right passive
Up-Left I mooning desire +
Up-Right S in outer space thinking +
Down-Left D down & dirty disbelief -
Down-Right C down right hard critical -
Roll in circles here we go again not again -

The position of the gaze corresponds directly to the quadrants of the body language
diagram. Up is positive, down is negative, left is active (I am right of you), right is
passive. Hence I = up-left, S = up-right, D = down-left, and C = down-right.

When the left and right side are different, this indicates a mixed signal between both
sides. Therefore it shows doubt.

Combinations of the eye expression explain a great variety of intense emotions. For
example brows up lids up and wide open indicates surprise

Body Language - Eyes Expressions

brows up neutral brows down

lids up lids down

wide open squint closed

eyes up eyes down

 wide open squint closed

eyes up eyes down

eyes up-right eyes left eyes down-left

Hand Writing Traits

The page has many graphics, so it is somewhat slower in loading.

The analysis of writing can be separated into seven shapes. Select

the shape to see illustrations in that section. The section begins with
a concise description table. The table includes the shape, orientation,
indicator, and trait. Click on the trait for a script sample.

Size Angle Terminal Hump Circle Stem Crossing

SIZE Height extremely small - concentration
capitals size - ego size
large lower case k defiance
ostentatious - extravagant
Space between letters - intuition

CONCENTRATION

____________________

EGO

____________________

DEFIANT

____________________

EXTRAVAGANT

____________________

INTUITION

____________________
 sympathy
vertical - logical
backward - emotionally withdrawn
both back & forward - dual personality
straight, even
Slope - perfectionist
bottom
up right - optimism
down right - pessimism

____________________

EMOTIONAL

____________________

BALANCED

____________________

EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWN

____________________

DUAL PERSONALITY

____________________

PERFECTIONIST

____________________

OPTIMISM
 ____________________

TERMINAL Start large round W,M,S desire responsibility

tight circle - jealousy
hook middle - acquire material
hook upper - acquire ideas
inflexible upstroke - resentment
wavy - humor
End long final or dash - cautious
hook upper - tenacity ideas
hook middle - tenacity material
long 45 angle,
- generosity
spacing
high in air - desire attention
underline signature - leadership

____________________

DESIRE RESPONSIBILITY

____________________

JEALOUSY

____________________

ACQUIRING

____________________

RESENTMENT

____________________

HUMOR
 ____________________

CAUTIOUS

____________________

TENACIOUS

____________________

GENEROSITY

____________________

DESIRE ATTENTION

____________________

LEADERSHIP

____________________

HUMPS base v shape m,n analytical thinker

cumulative think,
top round m,n
slower
comprehensive think,
needle point m,n,h,i
fast
sharp into upper
m,n,h,r curious & investigative
zone
wedge shape m,n surface thinker
downslope to right m diplomacy
increasing height m self-conscious
square h,r manual dexterity
 ____________________

ANALYTICAL THINKER

____________________

CUMULATIVE THINKER, Slower

____________________

COMPREHENSIVE THINKER, Faster

____________________

CURIOUS & INVESTIGATIVE

____________________

SURFACE THINKER

____________________

DIPLOMACY

____________________

SELF CONSCIOUS

____________________

MANUAL DEXTERITY

____________________
CIRCULAR sharp middle hook a,c,d needs challenge
loop wide a,o frankness
narrow, retraced e,a,o selective listener
open a,o talkative
extra before a,o self-deceit
extra after a,o secretive
extra before & after a,o lying

____________________

NEEDS CHALLENGE

____________________

FRANKNESS

____________________

SELECTIVE LISTENER

____________________

TALKATIVE

____________________

SELF DECEIT

____________________

SECRETIVE

____________________

LYING

____________________
 philosophical
STEMS Up large loop h
imagination
large loop d,t sensitive to criticism
retraced & taller d,t pride & dignity
tepee d,t stubborn
short, no loop d,t independent thinker
no height d,t live for moment
down stroke & to
t directness
right
unclosed, sigma d, E desire culture
balance w/ lower f organizational ability
Down average loop p,y physical desire
large, wide g,j,y physical imagination
very long, big p,g,y physical experimental
deep in next row,
g,y physical variety
wide
long, narrow low g,y socially selective
long in next row g,y too many irons in fire
incomplete g,y physical frustration
downward turn g,y fear of success
figure eight g fluid thought
retraced g,j,y anti-social
breakaway top p argumentative
hard right up g,j,y aggressiveness
not normal shape g,y perversion

____________________

PHILOSOPHICAL IMAGINATION

____________________

SENSITIVE TO CRITICISM

____________________

PRIDE & DIGNITY

____________________

STUBBORN
 ____________________

INDEPENDENT THINKER

____________________

LIVE FOR THE MOMENT

____________________

DIRECTNESS

____________________

DESIRE CULTURE

____________________

ORGANIZATIONAL ABILITY

____________________

PHYSICAL DESIRE

____________________

PHYSICAL IMAGINATION

____________________

PHYSICAL EXPERIMENTATION
 ____________________

PHYSICAL VARIETY

____________________

SOCIALLY SELECTIVE

____________________

TOO MANY IRONS IN FIRE

____________________

PHYSICAL FRUSTRATION

____________________

FEAR OF SUCCESS

____________________

FLUID THOUGHT PROCESS

____________________

ANTI-SOCIAL
 ____________________

ARGUMENTATIVE

____________________

AGGRESSIVENESS

____________________

PERVERSION

____________________

CROSSING dots close i,j detailed

perfect i,j loyalty
circle i individualistic, artistic
slash i irritability
line height level t goal level
high w/ large I t self esteem hi
very low t self esteem lo
above t goals unrealistic
double back t persistent
unusually long t enthusiasm
wavy t humor
concave t self-control
crossed backward t self-castigation
heavy t will power
blunt t definite, positiveness
sharp t sarcasm
up t optimism
down, blunt t dominant
down, sharp t domineering
mostly right t temper
mostly left t procrastination

____________________
DETAILED

____________________

LOYALTY

____________________

INDIVIDUALISTIC, ARTISTIC

____________________

IRRITABILITY

____________________

GOAL LEVEL

____________________

SELF ESTEEM HIGH

____________________

SELF ESTEEM LOW

____________________

GOALS UNREALISTIC

____________________

PERSISTENT
 ____________________

ENTHUSIASM

____________________

HUMOR

____________________

SELF CONTROL

____________________

SELF CASTIGATION OR CRITICISM

____________________

WILL POWER

____________________

DEFINITE, POSITIVENESS

____________________

SARCASM

____________________

OPTIMISM
 ____________________

DOMINANT

____________________

DOMINEERING

____________________

TEMPER

____________________

PROCRASTINATION

____________________

Hand Writing
based on a personality characteristic. If the handwriting is changed, then that trait will
be modified. The mental paths are drawn whether the traits are trained or untrained.

The practice of graphoanalysis has been around for millennia. It has been a common
university course in Europe for centuries. Most major corporations use the technique for
researching senior management and sensitive position candidates. It has only recently
become a readily available tool for personal evaluation.

PROCESS

The procedures and structures commonly taught are primarily based on correlations to
a personality trait. The trait is identified, then the appropriate script is described.
Although this is effective to describe the trait, it is inconvenient for a structured,
mechanical examination of the writing.

Because of my background and frequent research into mathematical structure of

physical sciences, it became apparent there is a very consistent arrangement of all
handwriting symbols. The discussion breaks the analysis into seven unique shapes.
Each shape has two orientations of interest in analysis. The third, null orientation is the
middle of the road that is typical or average. Each orientation will have several unique
personality indicators.

In any sample, the indicators may change. Also some of the indicators will be different
at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end of a word. Look at the prevalence of
indicators of a particular letter and correlate with other letters.

The seven shapes are size, angle, terminus, stem, crossing, hump, and circle. The
segregation of the shapes illustrates the contrasting orientations. Each orientation is
further separated by indicators, which are described later.

SHAPE ORIENTATION
SIZE height
space
ANGLE slant
slope
TERMINAL start
end
STEM up
down
CROSSING dot
horizontal
HUMP top
CIRCLE sharp
extras

HandWriting - Table

Each trait is identified by the shape, orientation, and indicator.

SIZE Height extremely small - concentration

downslope to right
capitals size m- diplomacy
ego size
increasing
large lowerheight
case mk self-conscious
defiance
square
ostentatious h,r
- manual dexterity
extravagant
CIRCULAR Space
sharp middle
between hook
letters a,c,d
- needs challenge
intuition
ANGLE loop wide
Slant hard right -a,o frankness
emotional
narrow, retraced
forward -e,a,o selective listener
balanced emotion & logic
open forward a,o talkative
slightly - logic w/ some sympathy
extra before a,o self-deceit
vertical - logical
extra after a,o secretive
backward
extra before & after -a,o emotionally
lying withdrawn
both back & forward - dual personality
Slope straight, even bottom - perfectionist
up right - optimism
down right - pessimism
philosophical
STEMS
TERMINAL Start large
Up large loop
round hW M S desire responsibility
imagination
tight circle
large loop -
d,t jealousy to criticism
sensitive
retraced
hook middle& taller d,t
- pride
acquire
& dignity
material
tepee
hook upper d,t
- stubborn
acquire ideas
short, no loop
inflexible upstroke d,t
- independent
resentment thinker
no
wavyheight d,t
- live for moment
humor
down stroke & to right t directness
End long final or dash - cautious
unclosed, sigma d, E desire culture
hook upper - tenacity ideas
balance w/ lower f organizational ability
hook middle
Down average loop -
p,y tenacity material
physical desire
long 45 angle,
large, wide spacing -
g,j,y generosity
physical imagination
high long,
very in air big -
p,g,y desire attention
physical experimental
deep in next row,
underline signature wide g,y
- physical variety
leadership
HUMPS long,
base v shapenarrow low g,y
mn analyticalselective
socially thinker
top long
round in next row g,y
m,n too many irons
cumulative think,inslower
fire
incomplete gy physical frustration
 wedge shape m,n surface thinker
downslope to right m diplomacy
increasing height m self-conscious
square h,r manual dexterity
CIRCULAR sharp middle hook a,c,d needs challenge
loop wide a,o frankness
narrow, retraced e,a,o selective listener
open a,o talkative
extra before a,o self-deceit
extra after a,o secretive
extra before & after a,o lying

philosophical
STEMS Up large loop h
imagination
large loop d,t sensitive to criticism
retraced & taller d,t pride & dignity
tepee d,t stubborn
short, no loop d,t independent thinker
no height d,t live for moment
down stroke & to right t directness
unclosed, sigma d, E desire culture
balance w/ lower f organizational ability
Down average loop p,y physical desire
large, wide g,j,y physical imagination
very long, big p,g,y physical experimental
deep in next row, wide g,y physical variety
long, narrow low g,y socially selective
long in next row g,y too many irons in fire
incomplete g,y physical frustration
downward turn g,y fear of success
figure eight g fluid thought
retraced g,j,y anti-social
breakaway top p argumentative
hard right up g,j,y aggressiveness
not normal shape g,y perversion
CROSSING dots close i,j detailed
perfect i,j loyalty
circle i individualistic, artistic
slash i irritability
line height level t goal level
high w/ large I t self esteem hi
very low t self esteem lo
above t goals unrealistic
double back t persistent
 unusually long t enthusiasm
wavy t humor
concave t self-control
crossed backward t self-castigation
heavy t will power
blunt t definite, positiveness
sharp t sarcasm
up t optimism
down, blunt t dominant
down, sharp t domineering
mostly right t temper
mostly left t procrastination

HandWriting - Negative Traits

The most negative traits make difficult relationships . People with too many of these
traits can make life very tough. The degree of relationship problems depends on the
frequency and the intensity of the traits. Be careful when dealing with these people.

The table includes the shape, orientation, indicator, and trait. Click on the trait for a
script sample.

ANGLE Slant both back & forward - dual personality

TERMINAL Start tight circle jealousy
inflexible upstroke resentment
CIRCULAR sharp middle hook a,c,d needs challenge
extra before & after a,o lying
STEMS Up large loop d,t sensitive to criticism
no height d,t live for moment
Down downward turn g,y fear of success
not normal shape g,y perversion
CROSSING line very low t self esteem lo

____________________

DUAL PERSONALITY

____________________

JEALOUSY
 ____________________

RESENTMENT

____________________

NEEDS CHALLENGE

____________________

LYING

____________________

SENSITIVE TO CRITICISM

____________________

LIVE FOR THE MOMENT

____________________

FEAR OF SUCCESS

____________________

PERVERSION
 ____________________

SELF ESTEEM LOW

____________________

Interpersonal - Influence

How to Win Friends and Influence People

The book was written by Dale Carnegie and originally published in 1936. It has been reprinted numerous
times and has become one of the most published books in history. The material has become the standard
for personal relationships. Since it has such a strong impact on individual actions, it is occasionally maligned
and the subject of some jokes. Nevertheless, it has stood the test of time.

Carnegie summarized each section of the book. These are listed as an overview for the standard reference
of personal interactions..

Part One
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

• Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

• Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two
Six ways to make people like you

• Become genuinely interested in other people.

• Smile.
• Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any
language.
 • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
• Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking

• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

• Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Begin in a friendly way.
• Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
• Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
• Appeal to the nobler motives.
• Dramatize your ideas.
• Throw down a challenge.

Part Four
Be a Leader:
How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish
this:

• Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

• Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
• Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
• Let the other person save face.
• Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
• Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
• Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
• Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Find You
 BACKGROUND

What you want to do when you grow up?

Have you ever wondered what you were put on earth to do? That is one of the major
personal challenges faced by virtually everyone. It can be as much of a puzzle for a 50
year old executive as an 18 year old beginning university student. Most people make
 EXPERIENCE

Warren summarizes activity part as experience necessary to be who you want to be.

Network: Meeting new people is the most effective way to launch a job or enterprise.

Skill: Ask open ended questions and listen.

Persist: Do new things. Even when uncomfortable, persist.