134 Knighty Knight

The Fairly OddParents
“Knighty Knight”
#134
Please respond with notes by 9.19.01
Story By:
Tim McIntire and The Laugh a Lots
Written By:
Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel and Jack Thomas
First Draft:
8.31.01
Final Draft:
9.14.01
Nickelodeon Animation Studios

c 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved
The Fairly OddParents: “Knighty Knight” final script by Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel and Jack Thomas 2
FADE IN:
EXT. - DIMMSDALE - DAY
The Camera PUSHES IN as we...
DISSOLVE TO:
A SIGN READING "DIMMSDALE CAMELOT FESTIVAL."
Widen to reveal - TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA near the sign.
TIMMY
Oh boy! The 595th annual Dimmsdale Camelot
Festival! Where you get to dress up and act like
people from the middle ages!
POOF! Cosmo turns into a 45 YEAR OLD MAN with gray temples, a paunch, bifocals,
and receding hairline.
COSMO
Cool! I'm middle aged!
(beat; instantly angry)
YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!
WANDA
Not those middle ages...
TIMMY
No, I mean the long-ago time of knights and
dragons and wizards! This shall be most
awesome!! But I'm gonna need the best Knight
costume ever!
Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and POOF! Wanda becomes a HORSE, COSMO A
SHIELD with a coat of arms that looks suspiciously like his face, and Timmy is now a
KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. Several REAR-VIEW MIRRORS and a ROLLS-ROYCE-TYPE
HOOD ORNAMENT pop out of his helmet.
TIMMY
Cool! I mean...ZOUNDS!
COSMO
Yeah! That armor gets forty miles to the joust!
BAMF! An AIR BAG deploys in Timmy's face.

TIMMY
Ooof!
WANDA
And it has standard air bags!!
TIMMY
Normal armor, please.
POOF! Wands are waved and Timmy now has a relatively normal - yet still very cool -
suit of armor.
TIMMY
Come!! Let us sally forth into yonder fair!
CUT TO:
EXT. - THE FAIRGROUNDS - CONTINUOUS
Timmy - sans the rear-view mirrors - heroically rides in with a triumphant fanfare... to
see the worst fair ever. Timmy rides up to a GUY in the CRUDDIEST KNIGHT SUIT ever.
TIMMY
Greetings fellow knight! Shalst we quest for the
Grail?
CRAPPY KNIGHT
Joust? I'm just here to point to where the
porta-potties are.
(points with his sword)
Over there!
When he reaches to point, we see the six foot tall knight is actually a two foot tall guy
behind a cardboard KNIGHT CUT-OUT.
TIMMY
Thanks for the info, Sir Lance A Little!
CRAPPY KNIGHT
They always call me that here!
He sobs into his hands and, as he does, a SECOND CUT OUT falls, revealing that he's
actually one foot tall.
THE CAMERA FOLLOWS as Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo trot on.
TIMMY
Well, that stunk. Well, maybe we can at least

find a wizard!
Suddenly, a CHEESY SALESMAN in a WIZARD SUIT pokes into frame.
WIZARD
Did somebody say wizard?
TIMMY
What kind of wizard are you?
WIZARD
I'm...the Cleaning Wizard!
He dramatically opens his ROBE to reveal a wide array of CHEESY TV SPRAY BOTTLES
AND CLEANING OBJECTS.
WIZARD
How many times has this happened to you?
You're riding in the forest, when suddenly...
He tosses a big handful of cow MANURE on Cosmo.
COSMO
Hey!
WIZARD
You get cow manure on your talking shield!
Well, the cleaning wizard makes almost all of it
go away!
TIMMY
Almost? No thanks...
COSMO
This is no way to treat a man my age.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. - NEAR A SIDE SHOW TENT - MOMENTS LATER
A sign reads "SEE THE DRAGON!!!" as the three trot up.
TIMMY
Cool! I mean..."Verily!" An ACTUAL DRAGON!
CUT TO:
INT. - THE TENT - SECONDS LATER
CLOSE ON AN ACTUAL DRAGON HEAD, looking mean and ferocious.
TIMMY (O.S.)
Wow. That's really...
WIDEN TO REVEAL The dragon is actually a "CHIHUAHUA" wearing a DRAGON HEAD.

Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda stand in front of it, towering over it like behemoths.
TIMMY
Pathetic.
TIMMY
Man, this fair stinks! Could it be any more
horrible?
Timmy turns to see a COW standing next to him.
DAD (V.O.)
Mooo...ve over Timmy!
MOM (V.O.)
We can't see the dragon!
TIMMY
Mom? Dad!
MOM AND DAD pop out of the COW OUTFIT. Mom's the head and Dad, of course, is
the butt.
DAD
Isn't this a great fair? Look what I bought! The
Cleaning Wizard!
Dad pulls out a bottle of Cleaning Wizard and hurls a pile of manure on Cosmo. Dad
starts wiping it off Cosmo's face.
DAD
And this manure almost comes all the way off!
MOM
Are you having fun, Timmy?
TIMMY
No. This is the worst Camelot fair ever!
DAD
Camelot?
Dad pulls out a MAP, and a pair of reading GLASSES and checks the map.
DAD
I thought this was the state fair!
(folds map up, puts glasses in pocket)
Well, I'm gonna win a blue ribbon anyway!
Dad leaves, dragging Mom (the head) with him.
MOM
Bye, Son!
Timmy peers out of the tent.
TIMMY
The knight's short, the wizard's a salesman, the
dragon's fake and people are throwing manure
at us!
COSMO
Us?!?!
Timmy turns back to Cosmo and Wanda.
TIMMY
You know what? I wish we were all in the real
middle ages!
Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and... POOF!
ON TIMMY - the magic smoke clears. Timmy peers out of the tent and sees:
TIMMY'S POV - Like Dorothy first seeing the splendor of the land of Oz, Timmy sees
the Glory that is Medieval England!! We see a majestic CASTLE in the distance.
WIDEN to reveal it's on a lush GREEN HILLSIDE, surrounded by a lush GREEN FOREST,
ensconced in a lush GREEN VALLEY.
ON TIMMY - Who exits the tent riding Wanda and carrying his Cosmo shield.
TIMMY
This is great! We're actually in the middle
ages!
WANDA
Well, that's what you wished for, Sport!
COSMO
But here, it's just called "The ages!"
Suddenly, a SHADOW falls over Timmy. He looks up to see a gigantic, armor clad
KNIGHT riding a majestic, armor clad BLACK STEED.
SIR FINKLEBERG
What ho, Tiny Knight with a shield that smells
like a hundred horses' butts?!
TIMMY
"What ho" back atchya!
SIR FINKLEBERG
I am on my way to pull the sword from the
stone and claim my rightful place as King of
England.
TIMMY
And you are...?
SIR FINKLEBERG
I have many names -- The Shining Knight, The
Hammer of Fury, but you, my fellow knight,
maybe call me:
(beat)
Sir Finkleberg.
TIMMY
Finkleberg? What kind of dumb name is
Finkle...
The horse rears it's mighty hoof and FOOM! Flattens Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo like a
bug. Sir Finkleberg trots off.
ANGLE ON HUGE HOOFPRINT - Timmy - disheveled and dazed - looks up.
TIMMY
Cool! I got pounded on by Sir Finkleberg!
Suddenly, Mom and Dad -- still in the cow suit -- walk into scene.
MOM
Hello, Timmy!
DAD
Where'd you get the dented, smelly shield?
TIMMY
Uh... Talking-smelly-shields dot Camelot?
DAD
Of course! The internet's first stop for talking
smelly shields! Come on, Honey, let's find the
snack shop!
MOM
Sure! I'm udderly hungry.
DAD
Then let's get a moo-ve on!
Mom and Dad trot off, their cow bell jingling.
TIMMY
What are they doing here?
WANDA
Well, you wished for all of us to come back!
TIMMY
I can't have my Mom and Dad running around
the middle ages in a cow suit... Get them out of
here!
ON MOM AND DAD near a BUSH, still attached in the cow suit. The Dad half is
obscured by the bush as Dad is clearly, yet subtly going to the bathroom.
MOM
I told you to go before we got in the suit!
DAD
I'll only be a second -- I just have to move this
udder!
Suddenly, from nowhere, a huge fire-breathing DRAGON swoops out of the sky, grabs
Mom and Dad, and sails off over the horizon.
DRAGON
<<SCREEECH!>>
ON TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA

TIMMY
Did you?
COSMO AND WANDA

No...
TIMMY
Then that was...
COSMO AND WANDA

Yes...
TIMMY
Neat! (beat) OH MY GOSH!
Timmy gallops after the dragon but the dragon is too fast.
TIMMY
I can't catch up! My parents are gonna be
eaten by a dragon! I need a weapon of some
kind!
POOF! Cosmo changes back to normal.
COSMO
Hey, I've been covered with dung and water all
day. If you think I'm gonna get covered in
dragon guts, you're out of your mind!
TIMMY
Yeah. You're right. I'll make Wanda the sword.
WANDA
What? NO! Hey, how about the big, glowing
magical sword over there.
TIMMY'S POV - We pan through a LINE OF KNIGHTS, waiting to take a crack at

freeing... THE SWORD IN THE STONE. It is sticking of a stone (hence the name). An
ARMORED HAND reaches in and grabs the hilt. We widen to reveal that it is, none
other than - SIR FINKLEBERG - who is about to try and yank it free.
SIR FINKLEBERG
I, Sir Finkleberg, doth claim this sword,
Excalibur, as...
He tugs... But to no avail. WE hear a pop, and his shoulder dislocates.
SIR FINKLEBERG
AAAAA! MY ARM! My arm that has slain a

thousand men!
A court JESTER walks up to Sir Finkelberg.
COURT JESTER
Aw... But ya gave it a good try..and We have
some lovely parting gifts for you!
The jester hands the knight a MINIATURE SWORD IN THE STONE.
COURT JESTER
The "Sword in the Stone" home game!
Finkleberg grasps the toy sword between his forefinger and thumb.
SIR FINKLEBERG
I claim this sword as...
POP! HE dislocates his finger.
SIR FINKLEBERG
AAAAA!
Finkleberg sulks OS.
COURT JESTER
Let's hear it for him, huh? Next up, number
897! Please give a rousing 15th century
welcome to... Arthur Liebowitz!
LITTLE ARTIE LEIBOWITZ AND MERLIN THE MAGICIAN walk to the sword in the stone.
Arthur -- a completely nerdy shlub, with horn-rimmed glasses and a bowl haircut -
steps up to the sword.
MERLIN
That's King Arthur Liebowitz to you!
(to Artie)
Okay, Artie... I've already cast the spell...The
next shmoe who yanks the sword is gonna be
the King of England. Got it?
Artie is a nervous, nebbishy, squinty, young boy. He clearly has bad vision. Artie
talks to a TREE.
ARTIE
Whatever you say, Uncle Merlin.
Merlin spins him around.
MERLIN
I'm over here, Kid. And once you've get the
sword, I can hock it for gold and get us out of
this rat-hole town!
Artie -- blind as a bat -- tries to pull a TWIG out of a PILE OF LEAVES.
MERLIN
(embarrassed)
No... No... Over there.
Merlin sets Artie right. Just as Artie is about to pull the sword out, Timmy swoops in
and yanks it out first. He now holds the mighty sword - EXCALIBUR!
TIMMY
Sorry. No time. Parents a food group. Dragon
to slay. Gotta run!
Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda thunder heroically over a HILL.
COURT JESTER
(re: Timmy)
'Tis the new king of England!
Sir Finkleberg steps in.
SIR FINKLEBERG
He of pink horse and rank shield! We must
follow his glorious path!
Finkleberg raises his sword in glory... And dislocates his arm yet again.
SIR FINKLEBERG
AAAA!
The rest of the CROWD raises FLAGS with TIMMY'S "CREST" already upon it.
CROWD
All hail king... (beat)
(Walla) what was that kid's name?
Merlin peeks up.
MERLIN
(coughing)
Arthur!
CROWD
ARTHUR! KING ARTHUR!
The crowd thunders after Timmy. Artie talks to a ROCK.
ARTIE
But, Uncle Merlin, I'm not the King.
Merlin spins Artie around.
MERLIN
Not yet, Artie! But I want people to get used to
the idea. I'm gonna make you king. A great
king. And then, more importantly, I'll be a great
rich Uncle of a great king.
ARTIE
But I can't even see! Can't you use your magic
to make some sort of glass thing to put in front
of my eyes that improves my vision?
MERLIN
That's crazy talk! Do you want them to burn
you like a witch? Come on! We gotta get you
kingified!
Merlin waves his hands and the two disappear in a cloud of MAGICAL MYSTERY
SMOKE.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. - A CRAGGY MOUNTAIN TOP - LATER
PUSH IN ON a SCARY CAVE ENTRANCE.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. - THE DRAGON'S LAIR - SAME TIME
ANGLE ON A CORRAL with TEN TERRIFIED COWS looking out. Mom and Dad -- still in
the cow suit -- look on with complete amusement.
MOM
(to ordinary cow)
So? Are you enjoying the fair?
COW
Moooooo.
DAD
I don't care if you have a better costume,
nobody MOO's my wife!
The dragon's CLAW reaches in and grabs the cow Mom and Dad are talking to. The
dragon lifts the cow up to it's snout -- picks up a SALT SHAKER, salts the cow, and
tosses it in his mouth.
ANGLE ON MOM AND DAD
MOM
What a great, realistic Dragon ride!
DAD
Pick us next!
CUT TO:
EXT. - FOREST - SAME TIME
ON A LINE OF SHRUBS - as Merlin and Artie <POOF> into frame.
MERLIN
Awright, we might have missed the sword but if
we find the Holy Grail, you're sure to be king of
England!
ARTIE
But I can't see anything.
MERLIN
My magical powers will lead us to the Grail.
Merlin pushes the shrubs aside, only to see Timmy and his followers near a
stream.
TIMMY
Argh! Do my feet hurt! No wonder metal shoes
never caught on. Let's rest and grab some
water.
He plops down on the ground with a CLANK!
TIMMY
Ow!
He has sat on a CUP.

TIMMY
What the- A cup? Hey, did somebody drop this?
Timmy holds up the cup. His CROWD OF FOLLOWERS cheer.
CROWD
Huzzah! He has found the Holy Grail!
SIR FINKLEBERG
He's even more the king than he was five
minutes ago! (raises his sword - POP!) AAA!
MERLIN
(fuming) Darn it!
POOF! Merlin and Artie disappear in a cloud of smoke.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. NEAR THE ENGLISH COAST
Merlin and Artie <POOF!> in just in time to see lots of BARBARIANS landing on the
shore.
MERLIN
Okay... I'll use my magic to help you defeat the
conquering horde of Huns, and your victory will
make you King!
ON ATTILA THE HUN ADDRESSING HIS HORDE OF MONGOLS.
ATTILA
Remember men -- sack their villages and THEN
burn them. I don't want a repeat of last
Wednesday.
HORDE
(apologetic walla)
ATTILA
Nothing can stop us!!!
Timmy, riding Wanda and carrying Cosmo and Excalibur, trots into scene.
TIMMY
Hey, have you guys seen a dragon?
ATTILA
Uh... Wait. There's a dragon here?
HORDE
FLEE! FLEE LIKE THE WIND!
The horde and Attila run like their tushies are on fire.
ON THE CROWD OF PEOPLE FOLLOWING TIMMY
SIR FINKLEBERG
He has frightened the barbarian hordes! He
has saved all of England! Again! He's the
kingiest! Huzzah!
(Raises his sword. POP!) AAAA!
ON MERLIN AND ARTIE
MERLIN
Dagnabit! Well, there's no choice. The only
way to get you to be king of England is for you
to slay that dragon.
ARTIE
You mean, you use your magic to help me slay
the dragon? Right?
MERLIN
No. Dragon's are impervious to magic. You're
on your own, Sport!
ARTIE
What?
Merlin waves his hands and Artie disappears in a CLOUD OF SMOKE. Merlin pulls out
an UMBRELLA DRINK and chills out.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. - DRAGON'S LAIR - LATER
Mom and Dad, still in the cow suit, stand next to one remaining cow in the corral. The
dragon looks at them... and takes the last real cow.
COW
Moo?
DAD
Hey! We were here first!
The dragon eats the last 'not Timmy's parents' cow.
MOM
Well, this ride looks worth the wait! I wonder
where it lets out?
CUT TO:
EXT. - BASE OF DRAGON MOUNTAIN - SAME TIME
Timmy, riding Wanda and holding his Cosmo Shield, approaches.
TIMMY
I wonder if we're if close to the dragons' lair?
A steaming COW SKELETON lands directly in front of Timmy.
COSMO
As they say in the middle ages - that's a big
ten four good buddy!
DAD (O.S.)
Yay! We're next!
TIMMY
My parents! Guys! You gotta help me fight the
dragon!
WANDA
Uh... actually, Timmy, dragons are impervious
to magic!
COSMO
So we'll be with you in spirit!
POOF! Cosmo and Wanda poof up some SIPPY DRINKS and POOF OS.
TIMMY
(BEAT) Guys?
Cosmo and Wanda <POOF!> back in.
COSMO
Well, it was worth a shot.
POOF! They ALL disappear.
CUT TO:
EXT. - THE CAVE ENTRANCE - MOMENTS LATER
Timmy pops into frame. Cosmo and Wanda pop in... And then start flickering in and
out of focus.
TIMMY
Hey, what's up with you guys?
WANDA
The dragon's magic is too strong! It's pushing
us away! It's hard to stay in focus!
COSMO
Welcome to my world!
A huge PILLAR OF FIRE bursts out of the cave entrance.
WANDA
Good luck Timmy!
POOF! They're gone.
DAD (O.S.)
Wee!! I can see my house from here!
TIMMY
Mom! Dad!
Timmy, wielding Excalibur, runs into the cave.
CUT TO:
INT. - THE DRAGON'S LAIR - SECONDS LATER
Timmy runs in. In the distance, we can see Mom and Dad (in the cow suit) being lifted
by the dragon. The dragon is slow roasting Mom and Dad with small bursts of FLAME.
MOM
This is so realistic!
Dad pulls out his reading glasses and looks at his hand, which is now smoking.
DAD
I know! It actually looks and feels like I'm

getting third degree burns! OW! I mean...Neat!
TIMMY
Hey, you big, stupid lizard! Leave my parents
alone!
Timmy hurls the sword with all his might. It flies at Mom and Dad, severs the cow suit
in two, splits it open and lets Mom and Dad fall free. Dad's glasses land at the foot of
the dragon. The dragon eats the cow suit.
DAD
Well, that was anti-climactic.
MOM
Let's get some Camelot pie!
Mom grabs Dad's hand to lead him OS.
DAD
Ow! The blisters! I mean...Neat! The blisters!
Mom and Dad head off. The sword flies back into Timmy's hand like a boomerang.
TIMMY
Wow! This magic sword rocks!
Artie walks into frame.
ARTIE
Excuse me? Have you seen a dragon around
here?
The dragon spies Timmy and Artie, lets out a tremendous roar and shoots a massive
FIREBALL at them. Artie just stands there.
TIMMY
Get down!
Timmy leaps and pushes Artie out of the way, just as the flames shoot through scene.
TIMMY
What's the matter with you?
ARTIE
I don't see very well.
Timmy spots Dad's glasses by the dragon's paw.

TIMMY
Well, I can't do this by myself.
Hang on, Dude.
Timmy runs at the dragon, dodging bursts of fire and dives for Dad's glasses. Luckily,
he barely manages to nab them and...
DRAGON
<<ROARS!!!>>
Timmy runs back and dives behind the ROCK he and Artie are hiding behind, just as a
burst of flame hits it.
TIMMY
Here ya go! When we die a horrible flaming death,
you deserve to see it too!
Timmy places the glasses on Artie's face.
ARTIE'S POV -- we see the glasses go over his eyes. Timmy, the dragon and
everything in the cave go from fuzzy to in focus.
ARTIE
Everything's so clear..
ON ARTIE - getting more and more majestic and...well...royal.
ARTIE
I... I can see!
(extremely deep voice)
I CAN FIGHT!!!!
Artie flexes his muscles. His CAP falls off, revealing long, flowing blonde locks. He rips
through his tunic revealing he's the studliest ten- year-old stud in all of England. With
the most glorious back-lit glow in the history of animation, Artie stands poised for
battle. Timmy hands Artie Excalibur.
TIMMY
Here ya go.
ARTIE
I thanketh thee. (to sword)
I shall calleth thee: the "Shining Blade of
Liebowitz!"
TIMMY
How about "Excalibur"?!
ARTIE
That works too!
(to the dragon)
Have at thee, Fire Demon!!!
The battle begins as Timmy hastily exits.
CUT TO:
EXT. - MOUTH OF THE CAVE - SECONDS LATER
Timmy runs out just as Cosmo and Wanda poof into scene.
COSMO
Hey, Sir Sport! You're not dead!
Cosmo gives Wanda five bucks.
COSMO
And even though I lost a bet, I'm glad to see
ya!
WANDA
How'd the battle go?
TIMMY
It was amazing! Artie's gonna kick that
dragon's...
PTUI! Artie's skeleton, still wearing the glasses and holding the sword, lands at
Timmy's feet. LONG BEAT.
TIMMY
Uh... Guys?
WANDA
Well, we could take a crack at it.
Poof! Artie, as the MANLY STUD, comes back to life. He picks up the sword.
ARTIE
I can breathe!
(deep voice)
I CAN FIGHT!!!
Artie leaps into the cave. We hear another raging battle.
ARTIE (O.S.)
PTUI!!!
The DRAGON'S SKELETON flies out of the mouth of the cave and sails over the cliff.
CUT TO:
EXT. - BASE OF THE MOUNTAIN - SAME TIME
Sir Finkleberg and the rest of the PEASANTS are mulling about. The dragon's skeleton
lands in front of them.
SIR FINKLEBERG
He has slain the dragon! He is the true king!
Huzzah!!!
Finkleberg raises his armored arm... POP! It falls off.
SIR FINKLEBERG
AAA!
The peasants all look at the arm hungrily.
CROWD
FOOD!!!!!!!!
They dive to the ground after their eats.
CUT TO:
EXT. - MOUTH OF THE CAVE - SAME TIME
Artie and Timmy stand triumphantly, looking down upon the crowd. Cosmo and
Wanda float nearby.
CROWD
All hail King Artie!
TIMMY
That's Arthur!
CROWD
Whatever!
Arthur places his hand on Timmy's shoulder.
ARTIE
I thank thee! Pray thee -- wilst thou stay and

be one of my knights of the Pentagonal
Ottoman?
TIMMY
Uh..you might wanna go with a round table.
ARTIE
Right!
Merlin POOFS in.
MERLIN
Artie! Baby! I Knew you could do it!
Timmy and Artie share a look.
CUT TO:
EXT. - BASE OF THE MOUNTAIN - SAME TIME
Merlin, beaten and dishevelled, lands next to the hungry crowd of peasants.
CROWD
Oh boy! Seconds!
As the ravenous crowd dives for Merlin we...
FREEZE FRAME - camera PULLS BACK revealing the splendors of Medieval England, as
though they were a picture in a storybook. In fact...
TIMMY (V.O.)
And so, Artie Leibowitz became King Arthur, Sir
Finkleberg, with his one arm, became the
world's first slot machine, and the dragon
never barbecued anyone again.
INT. TURNER LIVING ROOM - EVENING
Timmy and his parents - Dad now wears a blue ribbon - with Cosmo and Wanda in the
fishbowl - are reading a KING ARTHUR STORYBOOK. On the cover, King Arthur wears
HORN-RIMMED GLASSES. Timmy closes the book.
TIMMY
The End.
MOM
That was a wonderful story, Timmy.
DAD
Thanks for reading it to us, Son. You know, with
my burnt hands and bad eyes, I couldn't have
held or read that book.
TIMMY
No sweat, Dad. All in a night's work.
Timmy looks at Cosmo and Wanda in the fishbowl. A Merlin-fish <POPS> in.
MERLIN
You guys mind? I'm lookin' for a new gig.
FADE OUT.
THE END

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The Fairly OddParents

Please respond with notes by 9.19.01

Nickelodeon Animation Studios

EXT. - DIMMSDALE - DAY

The Camera PUSHES IN as we...

A SIGN READING "DIMMSDALE CAMELOT FESTIVAL."

Widen to reveal - TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA near the sign.

BAMF! An AIR BAG deploys in Timmy's face.

EXT. - THE FAIRGROUNDS - CONTINUOUS

THE CAMERA FOLLOWS as Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo trot on.

Well, that stunk. Well, maybe we can at least

Suddenly, a CHEESY SALESMAN in a WIZARD SUIT pokes into frame.

He tosses a big handful of cow MANURE on Cosmo.

EXT. - NEAR A SIDE SHOW TENT - MOMENTS LATER

A sign reads "SEE THE DRAGON!!!" as the three trot up.

INT. - THE TENT - SECONDS LATER

CLOSE ON AN ACTUAL DRAGON HEAD, looking mean and ferocious.

WIDEN TO REVEAL The dragon is actually a "CHIHUAHUA" wearing a DRAGON HEAD.

Timmy turns to see a COW standing next to him.

Dad leaves, dragging Mom (the head) with him.

Timmy peers out of the tent.

Timmy turns back to Cosmo and Wanda.

Cosmo and Wanda wave their wands and... POOF!

ANGLE ON HUGE HOOFPRINT - Timmy - disheveled and dazed - looks up.

Mom and Dad trot off, their cow bell jingling.

ON TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA

COSMO AND WANDA

COSMO AND WANDA

POOF! Cosmo changes back to normal.

TIMMY'S POV - We pan through a LINE OF KNIGHTS, waiting to take a crack at

He tugs... But to no avail. WE hear a pop, and his shoulder dislocates.

AAAAA! MY ARM! My arm that has slain a

A court JESTER walks up to Sir Finkelberg.

The jester hands the knight a MINIATURE SWORD IN THE STONE.

POP! HE dislocates his finger.

Finkleberg sulks OS.

Merlin spins him around.

Artie -- blind as a bat -- tries to pull a TWIG out of a PILE OF LEAVES.

Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda thunder heroically over a HILL.

Sir Finkleberg steps in.

Merlin peeks up.

The crowd thunders after Timmy. Artie talks to a ROCK.

Merlin spins Artie around.

EXT. - A CRAGGY MOUNTAIN TOP - LATER

PUSH IN ON a SCARY CAVE ENTRANCE.

INT. - THE DRAGON'S LAIR - SAME TIME

ANGLE ON MOM AND DAD

EXT. - FOREST - SAME TIME

ON A LINE OF SHRUBS - as Merlin and Artie <POOF> into frame.

He plops down on the ground with a CLANK!

He has sat on a CUP.

Timmy holds up the cup. His CROWD OF FOLLOWERS cheer.

POOF! Merlin and Artie disappear in a cloud of smoke.

EXT. NEAR THE ENGLISH COAST

ON ATTILA THE HUN ADDRESSING HIS HORDE OF MONGOLS.

ON THE CROWD OF PEOPLE FOLLOWING TIMMY

ON MERLIN AND ARTIE

INT. - DRAGON'S LAIR - LATER

The dragon eats the last 'not Timmy's parents' cow.

EXT. - BASE OF DRAGON MOUNTAIN - SAME TIME

Timmy, riding Wanda and holding his Cosmo Shield, approaches.

A steaming COW SKELETON lands directly in front of Timmy.

Cosmo and Wanda <POOF!> back in.