132 Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary

The Fairly OddParents
“Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary”

#132
Written By:
Jack Thomas
First Draft:
8.8.01
Second Draft:
8.28.01
Nickelodeon Animation Studios

c 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved
The Fairly OddParents: “Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary” second draft script by Jack Thomas 8.28.01 2
FADE IN:
EXT. - MOVIE THEATER- DAY
The MARQUEE reads "Crash Nebula: The Musical - Opens Today -Noon." TIMMY is
first in a line of KIDS, that stretches around the corner. CHESTER and AJ are
asleep in a TENT behind him. Timmy checks his COSMO and WANDA Watch. It's
two minutes to Noon.
TIMMY
Two more minutes and I'll have the very first
tickets for the very first showing of the Crash
Nebula movie!
WANDA
What's the big deal? You can watch him on
TV.
TIMMY
Right. But this is the movie!
WANDA
But you can watch him every week on TV.
TIMMY
But this is the movie!
WANDA
And TV is free.
TIMMY
MOVIE!
Chester and AJ wake up.
CHESTER
(groggy) But, Dad, I don't want government
cheese for breakfast.
AJ nudges him fully awake.
AJ
It is time? Did we succeed??
TIMMY
Yes my friends! Behold! After successfully camping
out all night in front of the movie theatre and
braving the elements! We are the very first ones...
<POOF!> PULL BACK to reveal that REMY BUXAPLENTY is between Timmy and
the ticket booth.
REMY
Behind me.
TIMMY
Hey! Who the heck are you?
He hands Timmy a BUSINESS CARD.
TIMMY
(reading) Remy Buxaplenty. Richer than you.
Will ever. Hope to be. (to Remy) I don't care how
rich you are! It's not fair for you to cut. We were
here first!
Remy flips the card over again. Timmy looks at the card quizzically and reads...
TIMMY
(reading) That's odd. I'm first now.
ANGLE ON BOX OFFICE - The SIGN in the window is flipped around to read:
"OPEN."
REMY
(sigh) Finally. Tickets please.
TICKET GUY
How many?
REMY
All of them.
He pulls out a WAD OF CASH. The KIDS in line all cheer!
REMY
Puh-lease! They're not for you unseemly
urchins. I need all the extra seats for my piles
of money.
Off Timmy's furious look we...
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. THEATER - LATER
Remy sips a jumbo DRINK and eats POPCORN, surrounded by PILES OF MONEY
and GOLD and JEWELS as he watches the movie.
CRASH (O.S.)
(singing sadly)
The Venusians want me to save them, they
think I'm a space hero with a plan, but how do
I tell them that beneath this skin tight flight
suit I'm-just-an Earth ma-a-a-n!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. ARCADE - LATER
Timmy is sitting in an ARCADE GAME SEAT wearing a VIRTUAL REALITY HELMET

playing a STREET FIGHTER TYPE VIDEO GAME. We see the seat next to him is
empty. PUSH IN AND DISSOLVE TO:
INT. VIDEO GAME - Timmy's ON SCREEN CHARACTER blasting away with COSMO
AND WANDA cannons.
TIMMY
I don't understand how that rich kid got in line
in front of me!
WANDA
It's okay, Timmy!
COSMO
Yeah, you're kicking virtual butt in this video
game!
TIMMY
Yeah! And all I gotta do is get the high score
and I'll finally get my name on the bathroom
door!
PZZAP! He's wasted by another DIGITAL CHARACTER.
TIMMY
AAA!
ON TIMMY who is now standing next to a DIGITAL REMY.
REMY
I win.
Both of the Video Characters take off their helmets and REZZ out of the game...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. VIDEO GAME - BACK IN REALITY
Timmy still sits in the video game seat. We see the seat next to him has been
taken by Remy.
The OWNER OF THE VIDEO ARCADE SWEEPS IN and shakes Remy's hand.
ARCADE OWNER
Congratulations!
A News PHOTOGRAPHER steps in and FWASH! Takes Remy's picture.
ARCADE OWNER
You're the best player ever!
He sticks a NAME PLATE that reads "Remy Buxaplenty Player's Lounge" over
the bathroom. Remy's face is in the graphic of a star under his name.
ON VIDEO GAME - CLOSE ON COSMO AND WANDA CHARACTERS who peer out
from the video screen.
WANDA
Well, that's a dubious honor.
COSMO
What's dubious mean?
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. TIMMY'S BEDROOM -NIGHT
Timmy paces, annoyed. Wanda and Cosmo float-pace behind him.
TIMMY
I don't get it guys. Something's not kosher.
COSMO
(morphing himself into)
Bacon? Lobster? Ham hock?
TIMMY
How could the Remy kid be so much better
than me in, in-
WANDA
Everything?
TIMMY
Yeah. And he's everywhere.
WANDA
I know one special place we can go where he
could never ever be.
TIMMY
Yeah?
Wanda holds up the Crimson Chin COMIC BOOK and we...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. CHINCINNATI - COMIC BOOK TIME
PAN ACROSS The skyline of Chincinnati to where CLEFT, the Boy Chin Wonder
(Timmy) stands on the top of a BUILDING, cape flowing behind him.
TIMMY
Ah! Just what I needed. Some simple good
super hero-bashing-evil action!
CRASH! BAM! - On the BUILDING across the street, The CRIMSON CHIN is getting
the worst of it from the GOLDEN GUT, the fat super villain who keeps bumping
him nearer to the edge.
TIMMY
The Golden Gut! It looks like the Mandible of
Might needs my help. Activate utility cleft.
Timmy presses the BUTTON on his Chin and a ROPE shoots out of his cleft and
attaches itself to the roof.
The Chin gets belly-bumped off the roof of his building. He plummets to a sure
death unless-
Cleft swings over the side. He swoops down toward his hero.
TIMMY
Don't worry, C.C. I'll-
Remy, dressed like Cleft, swoops in and scoops up C.C.
REMY
Save you.
Remy/Cleft gently sets the Mandible of Might on the pavement.
CRIMSON CHIN
Way to go, Cleft!
Timmy lands beside them.
CRIMSON CHIN
(to Timmy) Oh Cleft, have you met my new
sidekick, Cleft? No time for small talk we have
a gut to bust.
C.C. And Remy/Cleft zoom off. Timmy fumes.
TIMMY
It's that Remy Buxaplenty kid!
COSMO
The kid who beat you at the video game, was first
in line for the movie, and now has taken your
place as sidekick to your favorite comic book
hero? What an amazing string of coincidences!
TIMMY
Yeah, well, something's fishy and I'm gonna
find out what! COME ON!
DISSOLVE
TO:
EXT. - REMY'S MANSION - LATER THAT EVENING
It's the biggest MANSION ever. It makes Aaron Spelling's house look like a hut.
Timmy is just outside the huge GATES that bear the Buxaplenty family CREST; a
shield with the symbols for various currencies on it. POOF! Cosmo turns into
BINOCULARS. Wanda turns into a parabolic MICROPHONE WITH EARPHONES.
TIMMY
Awright, let's see how the rich folks live...
TIMMY'S POV through Binoculars - We see Remy and his PARENTS. But in the BG,
we see a candy-colored FERRET with a little floating crown.
TIMMY (V.O.)
Nothing abnormal here. Just two billionaire parents,
leaving for the night...
INT. - REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME
Remy's parents, dripping with JEWELRY and richness, are still in the room.
MR. BUXAPLENTY
Well, uh...uh...
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
Son.
MR. BUXAPLENTY
Right. Son. It certainly was thrilling spending
our daily two minutes with you.
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
Now we're off to corner the silver market.
MR. AND MRS. BUXAPLENTY

Again! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
REMY
(first ounce of kid we've seen)
But... I haven't seen you in weeks! All I ever
see are the butlers maids and servants!
MR. BUXAPLENTY
And they're highly paid to love you! We love
you too, ...uh..
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
Son.
REMY
Couldn't you guys stay a little longer. Just an
extra minute.
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
(softening)
Well, I suppose we could just deduct it from
tomorrow's two minutes.
MR. BUXAPLENTY
Oh Luvy, you know how I love deductions but
we have to go. The money is calling us!
Remy's Dad pulls out a wad of CASH and does a very bad bit of ventriloquism
with it, pretending the money is talking.
MR. BUXAPLENTY
(side of the mouth) Mr and Mrs. Buxaplenty!
Where are you?
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
Coming money! Have a nice night with your
strangely-colored, ferret, Honey!
A LIMOUSINE pulls into Remy's room and the Buxaplenty's hop in. The car takes
off and Remy hangs his head. CAMERA PUSHES IN on the ferret…
COSMO BINOCULAR POINT OF VIEW - Cosmo zooms in on the Ferret. It wears a

CROWN.
TIMMY (V.O.)
Wait a minute!
FLASHBACK! In his mind, Timmy sees Remy's MONEY CLIP at the movie theater.
Same color as the ferret, with a crown. His ROCKET SHIP in the arcade game. Same
color, crown on the side.
TIMMY
I think I know how Remy is pulling all this stuff
off!
Cosmo and Wanda revert to their true form.
COSMO
Does it rhyme with "Scary Mod-mare-ment?"
TIMMY
Exactly! Remy Buxaplenty has a Fairy
Godparent!!
COSMO
Finally, he gets it.
TIMMY
You knew?
Wanda poofs in "DA RULES."
WANDA
Sorry, Timmy. It's in "Da Rules." We can't
tell you about other kids with Fairy
Godparents. You have to figure it out on
your own.
TIMMY
That's a dumb rule. Do you know this fairy?
WANDA
NO! No! Nope! Not at all. No idea. Clueless.
Cosmo and Timmy exchange a suspicious look.
TIMMY
Wanda, I wish you would tell me who he is.
WANDA
Oh, okay. His name is Juandissimo Magnifico.
TIMMY
Who's...Juandissimo Magnifico?
WANDA
Uh... my ex-boyfriend.
Timmy turns to Cosmo who is turning totally GREEN with envy.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL we have been watching this entire scene through Remy's
giant telescope.
INT. - REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME
Remy looks up from the EYEPIECE.
REMY
So, Turner has Godparents too. Interesting.
POOF! Remy 's ferret turns into the swaggering, hunky fairy -- JUANDISSIMO
MAGNIFICO. He lifts WEIGHTS, does various other exercises, and constantly
checks his appearance as he speaks.
JUANDISSIMO
Yes, It is true. Timmy is serviced by the
former love of my life, Wanda, and her warrior
husband, Cosmo. An unpredictable fairy who
fights like a reed in the face of a hurricane.
REMY
But...I'm Remy Buxaplenty and I get whatever
I want!! I want to be the only kid with Fairy
Godparents!! I wish his Godparents were
gone!!!
POOF! "DA RULES" appear again.
JUANDISSIMO
It cannot be done. Fairies cannot be wished
away by other fairies... for if they could, they
would be scattered aimlessly, like waves
against the sandy beach.
CUT TO:
OUTSIDE - ON TIMMY COSMO AND WANDA
TIMMY
Cosmo, aren't you jealous of this Juandissimo
guy?
COSMO
Why? I got the girl.
WANDA
That's a remarkably intelligent and mature

way to think about it.
COSMO
It is? Then I changed my mind. I am jealous!
INT. - REMY'S HOUSE - SAME TIME
REMY
How do I make his godparents go away?
JUANDISSIMO
They can only be wished away by their god-
kid, or...
He <POOFS!> Up a MIRROR and admires himself.
JUANDISSIMO
...oh Heaven, who are you, to have blessed
me with these looks...
(lingering on himself)
...or they can be lost in a magical duel we
creatively call..."The Magical Duel."
REMY
"The Magical Duel?"
JUANDISSIMO
A contest. Godparent against Godparent.
Winner keeps his fairies, loser forgets he ever
had them. It is a harsh and unseemly way to
settle a rivalry.
REMY
You're not afraid of this Cosmo, are you?
JUANDISSIMO
I fear no fairy!! But Cosmo! He can be a
cunning and calculating foe.
CUT TO:
EXT. - REMY'S FRONT DOOR - SAME TIME
Timmy and Wanda watch Cosmo as he picks his toes with a BBQ FORK. He pulls
a KIELBASA SAUSAGE from between his toes.
COSMO
Awright! Lunch!
TIMMY
Guys. Disguise yourselves!!
POOF! They change into POTTED PLANTS next to the doorway. Timmy rings the
doorbell, which plays "We're In the Money." REMY'S BUTLER opens the door.
BUTLER
Yes?
TIMMY
Hi. I'm here to play. I'm one of Remy's friends.
The Butler sneers.
TIMMY
He's payin' me five bucks an hour to be his
buddy. Move it, Pal. I'm on the clock.
Timmy pushes past the Butler and into the house.
CUT TO:
INT. REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME
Timmy enters. Remy - and his ferret - are waiting.
REMY
(totally sweet)
TURNER! COME IN!
The butler closes the door behind him. As soon as he does, Timmy and Remy glare
at each other like the arch-enemies they are.
REMY
(ala "Newman") Turner.
TIMMY
Buxaplenty.
REMY
Let's cut to the chase. You know I have a
fairy Godparent.
POOF! Juandissimo appears.
REMY
I know you have fairy godparents.
POOF! Cosmo and Wanda appear in form. Juandissimo kisses Wanda's hand.
JUANDISSIMO
Wanda. My sweet. I have missed you, as the

sun misses the dawn...
WANDA
Well, that's all very flattering--
COSMO
--But that's my hand you're kissing! Well,
technically it's her hand, but, you know,
being married to her and all...I mean...in a
court of law...
<POOF!> Juandissimo turns Cosmo into a TURTLE. His wand falls just out of his
reach.
JUANDISSIMO
(to Remy re:Cosmo) You see how he attacks with
words? I am lucky to be alive!!!
COSMO
When I get my wand, oh you are in for it!
Arrgh!!!
The Cosmo turtle very slowly, almost imperceptibly, moves toward his wand.
Throughout the rest of the conversation, the Cosmo turtle keeps advancing.
Slowly.
REMY
Turner, the great part of being rich is having
the best of everything. Look around. My
solid gold TV. My limited edition Chip
Skylark...
TIMMY
Poster?
REMY
Ah...no.
CHIP SKYLARK comes alive from what appeared to be a POSTER. He waves from
his alcove on the wall then resumes his pose.
REMY
You see my problem? You have two fairy
godparents. I only have one. That just won't
do. (pulls out a wad of cash) So, how much
will it take for me to get you to wish away
your fairy godparents?
TIMMY
Forget it, Buxaplenty. Just because you're rich

doesn't mean you get everything you want.
REMY
I want your hat.
TIMMY
No way.
REMY
Fifty bucks.
TIMMY
Done!
Timmy gives Remy his hat.
REMY
(to Juandissimo) Burn this.
Juandissimo shoots FIRE at the hat, totally incinerating it.
TIMMY
(matter of fact)
Wish I had another hat!
POOF! Wanda poofs ANOTHER HAT onto Timmy's head. Juandissimo poofs the
FIFTY BUCKS back into Remy's hand.
WANDA
Stalemate!
TIMMY
Which means I am keeping my godparents
and there is nothing you can do about it. Let's
go.
REMY
Don't you turn your back on me. Or I'll call
"Magical Duel."
Wanda and Juandissimo each react with horror. Even the turtle Cosmo, stops
and turns his head. Slowly.
TIMMY
Whatever.
REMY
(enraged)
Don't you walk away from me! I'm better
than you. Magical Duel Magical Duel! I call

Magical Duel!!!!
JUANDISSIMO
Yes, I heard you the first time.
Juandissimo raises his wand. He turns to Wanda.
JUANDISSIMO
Note the perfect sculpting of my triceps.
They should call them five-ceps!
The Cosmo turtle has barely even moved.
COSMO TURTLE
Revenge! REVENGE!!
Juandissimo's wand GLOWS and <POOF!> They're all gone!!
CUT TO:
EXT. FAIRY WORLD - DAY - CAMERA PUSHES IN AS WE...
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. FAIRYWORLD MAIN STREET
The sidewalks are filled with FAIRY SPECTATORS.
FAIRIES
Duel! Duel!!!
Everyone has been transported. Cosmo is back to normal. JORGEN VON

STRANGLE now stands between the two teams. Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda vs.
Remy and Juandissimo.
TIMMY
What's going on?
WANDA
Remy challenged you to "The Magical Duel" It's a
battle of kids with godparents and only one kid
gets to keep them when it's over!
ON JORGEN - who addresses the crowd.
JORGEN
Puny Fairies and gentlemen, prepare for
magical battle!
POOF! Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda stand toe to toe with Juandissimo and
Remy.
JORGEN
These are the rules! Winner takes all. Loser
won't recall! Whoever wins two out of three
rounds, keeps his fairies and, as stated in "Da
Rules," the other kid won't remember he ever
had any.
WANDA
So there's absolutely no pressure!
JUANDISSIMO
Your voice. It is like the chorus of a thousand
angels.
COSMO
Yeah, well, my fist is gonna feel like the
chorus of a thousand...
<POOF!> Juandissimo turns Cosmo into another TURTLE, who moves even more
slowly than before.
COSMO
Your wand is mine!!!!!!
BACK ON JORGEN
JORGEN
(loud, through the mic) Challenge One.
Godparents must be able to rescue their kids
from any danger! In this case...a giant ape!!!
ZWANG! Remy is held by a giant APE at the top of some STEPS.
JUANDISSIMO
Have no fear...
The Cosmo turtle crawls with blood lust in his eyes towards his wand.
COSMO
You will perish in flame!!!!
BACK ON REMY AND JUANDISSIMO -- As Juandissimo tries to get to him, The ape
rolls BARRELS down at them. The whole scene looks like, well, you know...
Donkey Kong.
JUANDISSIMO
There is only one way to soothe a savage

beast...
POOF! Juandissimo is now dressed in all white, holding a mariachi GUITAR. He

SWOOPS up to the ape and begins doing a hot Latin number.
WANDA
You're going to sing?
JUANDISSIMO
I must. It is who I am. It is the magic of my
soul.
Juandissimo breaks into a sassy tune, as the ape begins shaking Remy as though
he were a Maraca. MONEY flies everywhere as he's shook.
WANDA
Uh...how exactly does this help your
godchild?
JUANDISSIMO
Quiet, woman! I am being sexy!!
ON REMY, being shaken around like a toy.
REMY
AAAAA!
ON TIMMY, with Cosmo and Wanda
TIMMY
This rocks!
ON JORGEN - who looks at his WATCH and then...BZZZT!
JORGEN
The handsome fairy has failed to rescue his
godchild! But he is still very sexy!
ANGLE ON GIANT APE -<POOF!> Remy disappears and in his place <ZWANG>!
Timmy is now being held and shaken by the ape.
TIMMY
AAAAAAAA! This no longer rocks! Make it
stop!
Wanda <POOFS!> Cosmo back to normal.
WANDA
We've got to help Timmy!
COSMO
I need some thinkin' food!
Cosmo conjures up a BANANA, then looks OS. The ape runs into frame, grabs
the banana, swaps it out with Timmy and then leaps OS. Cosmo is now holding
Timmy.
WANDA
Good job, Honey, distracting that ape.
Cosmo turns and realizes... He's holding Timmy.
COSMO
Huh? HEY! THAT MONKEY ATE MY BANANA!
Juandissimo appears next to Cosmo.
JUANDISSIMO
I salute your genius, my friend, but you are
no match for me.
Cosmo changes into an exact replica of Juandissimo.
COSMO
How about now?
ON JORGEN
JORGEN
The puny fairy has rescued his godchild!!
Timmy Turner and his fairies win round one!
ZWANG!
EXT. PARK - ONE FAIRY SECOND LATER
An ADULT is watching a small TREE ON FIRE.
JORGEN
Challenge Two. The child must now help the
godparents by distracting a human adult so
they don't see them magically douse this fire.
Timmy Turner, you go first. NOW!
TIMMY
Hey look a UFO!
No reaction from the adult. Timmy SKATEBOARDS past, doing a handstand.
TIMMY
Hey, look at me!
The guy keeps staring at the fire.
TIMMY
Hey Mister, wanna see a card trick?
Timmy tries to fan out a deck of CARDS. They fly everywhere. Some catch on
fire and spread it.
TIMMY
Uh oh.
JORGEN
This is pathetic. We will end this before you
burn Fairyworld to the ground. Next child.
SFX: BZZT! Timmy Poofs out. Remy Poofs in. He thinks for a second, then pulls a
wad of CASH.
REMY
Hey, Pal. This yours?
ADULT
Why... Yes!
Remy throws the money like a bone. The adult instantly bolts after it like a dog.
Juandissimo floats over the fire and creates a giant WATER BUCKET and douses
it.
JORGEN
Round Two to Remy Buxaplenty!
TIMMY
You only won because you're rich!
REMY
And?
TIMMY
Look... we can call this a draw. Right now! I
don't care if you have Godparents, Remy!
REMY
BUT I CARE IF YOU DO! My parents are never
home! They're too busy being rich! I never get
to see them! Why should you get real parents
AND Godparents that love you when I don't?
Remy storms off. Timmy looks sadly at Remy's exit as Cosmo pops in.
COSMO
Wow. I guess all the money in the world can't

buy you the love of your parents.
REMY
(heard him) I just said that.
TIMMY
(whispering) Yeah. And we should do
something to help him... (beat)
AFTER WE KICK HIS BUTT!!!!
Wanda confronts Juandissimo.
WANDA
Oh Juandissimo, how can you be a part of
this? You can't take us away from Timmy!
Have you no heart?
JUANDISSIMO
I did...once. Now it is cold, as the ice in the...
(beat) Zounds, I am as bereft of metaphors as
the desert is bereft of life. Hey! That was a
metaphor. I'm back!
JORGEN
It is time for the tie breaker!
ZWANG! They are transported to-
EXT. FAIRYWORLD ZOO
Lots of ODDLY SHAPED CAGES containing rabbits, white tigers, doves. ALL THE
ANIMALS MAGICIANS USE.
JORGEN
This is a team event. Each boy will describe
an imaginary animal and then their
Godparents will turn him into that animal. You
have twenty seconds starting ten seconds
ago.
TIMMY
No problem. I've got a pretty good
imagination.
ON REMY
REMY
Imagination? What do I need with that? I'm

rich. I've got something even better.
Consultants!
He whips out a CELL PHONE.
ON TIMMY
TIMMY
I gotta think of something cool... Something
amazing... uh wish... For... For... (long beat)
Oh no!
WANDA
Timmy? What's wrong?
TIMMY
I'm having wisher's block!
JORGEN
Five! Four!
ON REMY - His cell phone reads "Out of Area."
REMY
Oh no!
JORGEN
Three! Two!
WANDA
Come on Timmy! You only have seconds left! If
you don't think of something amazing, we'll be
gone for good!
JORGEN
One!
TIMMY
You guys know me! Just -
TIMMY/REMY
Take your best shot!
JUANDISSIMO
(battle cry)
YOU...WILL...BE...GORGEOUS!!!!! Although,
not as gorgeous as I.
COSMO
Here goes nuthin'!
ZWANG! Both fairies zap their kids.
ON THE AUDIENCE
AUDIENCE
GASP!!!
ON TIMMY - He is now THE MOST AMAZING FANTASY ANIMAL EVER wearing a

pink hat! (Designers, start your pencils.)
PAN OVER TO REMY - Yes. He is a TURTLE. But a very handsome turtle.
COSMO
Another turtle?
JUANDISSIMO
It is a tortoise you fool, can you not see the
difference?
JORGEN
I can see that you lose.
JUANDISSIMO
What can I say? I am a lover not a great
imaginer.
COSMO
Whattaya know? In my imagination I am a
great lover.
REMY
I want a do-over.
JORGEN
Silly little tortoise boy, you will never defeat
the love between Timmy Turner and his
godparents! That is how they could anticipate
what he wanted and create this magnificent,
yet much-weaker-than-I, imaginary beast!
POP! Remy pops back to normal. He, for the first time, looks like a sad little kid.
TIMMY
Dude, It's not that bad. You're a ga-
billionaire!
REMY
I guess.
Jorgen raises his wand.

JORGEN
Farewell, Remy Buxaplenty, you have a
godparent no more.
He zaps him away.
JUANDISSIMO
I too must go. You have won this round,
Cosmo. But as the old story goes, the race is
not always to the swift. Eh, my friend?
He poofs out.
COSMO
What is it with that guy and turtles?
WANDA
Timmy, what's wrong?
TIMMY
I feel sort of sorry for Remy. I WISH I COULD
HELP HIM.
WANDA AND COSMO

We can do that.
TIMMY
I wish Remy's parents had more time to
spend with him!
Cosmo and Wanda raise their wands, and...
POOF TO:
EXT. - A CLEAR BLUE SKY - DAY
A JET flies through scene. Suddenly, BOOM! It explodes. REMY and HIS PARENTS
float safely away on PARACHUTES MADE OF CASH.
MR. BUXAPLENTY
Got out just in time.
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
It's a good thing that--
MR. BUXAPLENTY
Our son.
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
Right. Our son. Saw that warning light.
They pat him on the head.
MR. BUXAPLENTY
Good job, Son.
Remy beams. THE CAMERA FOLLOWS as they land on the edge of a desert
ISLAND. Remy picks up a a sharp STICK.
REMY
Well, we could be here a while.
MR. BUXAPLENTY
I'll count the money!
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
And I'll count the money!
REMY
And I'll find us something to eat!
Remy trips on something and falls face first into the beach. When he opens his
eyes he sees - A JUANDISSIMO TURTLE.
REMY
Hmmm. You seem familiar. Like... I knew you
in a previous life or something.
Remy stands for a moment, looks wistful and then...
REMY
Ah well. Who wants Turtle for lunch?
ON THE BUXAPLENTYS - who have made HUTS out of their money.
MRS. BUXAPLENTY
We do!
MR. BUXAPLENTY
Good job! (to Ms. Buxaplenty) I do believe
this "son" creature just may come in handy!
Remy lifts his stick and takes a bead on Juandissimo.
JUANDISSIMO
No! I too sexy for lunch! NO. NO! NO!!!!
CUT TO: BLACK
JUANDISSIMO (O.S.)
I blame Cosmo.
COSMO (O.S.)
Get in line!
FADE OUT... THE END

132 Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary

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132 Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary

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The Fairly OddParents

“Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary”

Nickelodeon Animation Studios

EXT. - MOVIE THEATER- DAY

Chester and AJ wake up.

AJ nudges him fully awake.

He hands Timmy a BUSINESS CARD.

He pulls out a WAD OF CASH. The KIDS in line all cheer!

Off Timmy's furious look we...

INT. THEATER - LATER

INT. ARCADE - LATER

Timmy is sitting in an ARCADE GAME SEAT wearing a VIRTUAL REALITY HELMET

PZZAP! He's wasted by another DIGITAL CHARACTER.

ON TIMMY who is now standing next to a DIGITAL REMY.

EXT. VIDEO GAME - BACK IN REALITY

A News PHOTOGRAPHER steps in and FWASH! Takes Remy's picture.

INT. TIMMY'S BEDROOM -NIGHT

Timmy paces, annoyed. Wanda and Cosmo float-pace behind him.

Wanda holds up the Crimson Chin COMIC BOOK and we...

EXT. CHINCINNATI - COMIC BOOK TIME

Remy, dressed like Cleft, swoops in and scoops up C.C.

Remy/Cleft gently sets the Mandible of Might on the pavement.

Timmy lands beside them.

C.C. And Remy/Cleft zoom off. Timmy fumes.

EXT. - REMY'S MANSION - LATER THAT EVENING

INT. - REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME

MR. AND MRS. BUXAPLENTY

COSMO BINOCULAR POINT OF VIEW - Cosmo zooms in on the Ferret. It wears a

Cosmo and Wanda revert to their true form.

Wanda poofs in "DA RULES."

Cosmo and Timmy exchange a suspicious look.

Timmy turns to Cosmo who is turning totally GREEN with envy.

INT. - REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME

Remy looks up from the EYEPIECE.

POOF! "DA RULES" appear again.

OUTSIDE - ON TIMMY COSMO AND WANDA

That's a remarkably intelligent and mature

INT. - REMY'S HOUSE - SAME TIME

He <POOFS!> Up a MIRROR and admires himself.

EXT. - REMY'S FRONT DOOR - SAME TIME

Guys. Disguise yourselves!!

The Butler sneers.

Timmy pushes past the Butler and into the house.

INT. REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME

Timmy enters. Remy - and his ferret - are waiting.

POOF! Juandissimo appears.

Wanda. My sweet. I have missed you, as the

Forget it, Buxaplenty. Just because you're rich

Timmy gives Remy his hat.

Juandissimo shoots FIRE at the hat, totally incinerating it.

than you. Magical Duel Magical Duel! I call

Juandissimo raises his wand. He turns to Wanda.

The Cosmo turtle has barely even moved.

Juandissimo's wand GLOWS and <POOF!> They're all gone!!

EXT. FAIRY WORLD - DAY - CAMERA PUSHES IN AS WE...

INT. FAIRYWORLD MAIN STREET

The sidewalks are filled with FAIRY SPECTATORS.

Everyone has been transported. Cosmo is back to normal. JORGEN VON

ON JORGEN - who addresses the crowd.

ZWANG! Remy is held by a giant APE at the top of some STEPS.

There is only one way to soothe a savage

POOF! Juandissimo is now dressed in all white, holding a mariachi GUITAR. He

ON REMY, being shaken around like a toy.

ON TIMMY, with Cosmo and Wanda