CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

• Conflict resolution is the ideal.

• Conflict management is the reality.

How Do You Manage
Conflict?
How Do You Manage
Conflict?
• Avoid
How Do You Manage
Conflict?
• Avoid
• Appease
How Do You Manage
Conflict?
• Avoid
• Appease
• Compromise
How Do You Manage
Conflict?
• Avoid
• Appease
• Compromise
• Collaborate
How Do You Manage
Conflict?
• Avoid
• Appease
• Compromise
• Collaborate
• Dominate
 Degrees of Assertiveness and
Cooperation

Dominate Collaborate

Assertiveness Compromise

Avoid Appease

Cooperation .

• From Thomas, in Dunnette- Handbook of Organizational Psychology 1983

Sources of Conflict
Sources of Conflict

• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve

Sources of Conflict

• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve

• RESOURCES – Focus on needs
Sources of Conflict

• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve

• RESOURCES – Focus on needs
• PROCESS/POWER – Consult and
listen
Sources of Conflict

• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve

• RESOURCES – Focus on needs
• PROCESS/POWER – Consult and
listen
• VALUES – “Believe my way.”
Sources of Conflict

• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve

• RESOURCES – Focus on needs
• PROCESS/POWER – Consult and
listen
• VALUES – “Believe my way.”
• PERSONALITIES – Unnecessary junk
 Raising conflict
is often more difficult than
resolving it.
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
– Yours
– Theirs
– Check it
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
– Don’t attack
– Don’t defend
– Neutral, simple, direct
– Avoid pronouns
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
• Focus on behavior
– Cause and effect
– General patterns
– Specific examples
– Without blame
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
• Focus on behavior
• Forget being right
– No rights, no wrongs
– “I was more right.”
– Not a debate or trial
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
• Focus on behavior
• Forget being right
• Focus on the future
– Shared goals
– History hurts
– No thanks for these memories
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
• Focus on behavior
• Forget being right
• Focus on the future
• Don’t try to solve the problem
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
• Focus on behavior
• Forget being right
• Focus on the future
• Don’t try to solve the problem
– Not yet
– Not quite yet
– Still not quite yet
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
• Focus on behavior
• Forget being right
• Focus on the future
• Don’t try to solve the problem
• Be prepared to listen
RAISING CONFLICT

• Timing
• Depersonalize
• Focus on behavior
• Forget being right
• Focus on the future
• Don’t try to solve the problem
• Be prepared to listen
– Problem may be different
– Work together
– Invite solutions
 EMOTIONAL

CONFLICT SOLUTION

SUBSTANTIVE
EMOTIONAL

SUBSTANTIVE
EMOTIONAL

SUBSTANTIVE
EMOTIONAL

SUBSTANTIVE
Moving Beyond Emotion (Theirs)

Outbursts, rage, yelling, stomping,

throwing, crying, withdrawal, threats,
proclamations, meltdowns
 Outbursts, rage, yelling, stomping,
throwing, crying, withdrawal, threats,
proclamations, meltdowns

How do you respond?

 Outbursts, rage, yelling, stomping,
throwing, crying, withdrawal, threats,
proclamations, meltdowns

Respond, don’t react.

Calm patience.
Don’t save them (meetings).
Listen.
Moving Beyond Emotion (Yours)

Depersonalize – no pronouns

Neutralize – “I am not a crook.”

Unbutton – Disengage

Deflect – Humor, stall, diversion

MANAGING OTHERS’
CONFLICT

THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS

MANAGING OTHERS’
CONFLICT

THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS

• OUTCOME
MANAGING OTHERS’
CONFLICT

THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS

• OUTCOME

• FAIR PROCESS
MANAGING OTHERS’
CONFLICT

THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS

• OUTCOME

• FAIR PROCESS

• RESPECTFUL TREATMENT