Validation

What is validation?
Establishing or substantiating an
emotional experience, behavior,
cognition, or physiological experience as
justifiable or well grounded.
Acknowledgement (observing and
describing non-judgmentally)

Why validate?
Validation brings down emotional arousal, communicates
understanding that a behavior or emotional experience
makes sense given a circumstance. Validation shows that
you are listening and is good for relationships.
Who do we validate? What do we validate?
We can validate emotions, actions, cognitions (thoughts, beliefs,
values and assumptions), and physiological responses that are
justified, relevant, or effective in light of stated/agreed upon
goals or facts existing at the time of the behavior
Validate the valid! Validation is acknowledging understanding of
an experience as valid - validation does not indicate agreement!
You don't have to like what the other person is saying, doing or
feeling.

Self-validation vs. Validation of others

Types of Validation
Implicit Functional Validation and Explicit
Verbal Validation with words
When to use which?
Example: Grandma carrying bag of heavy
groceries. Would stating, "Wow those groceries
look heavy!" be validating? Or would it be more
validating to help her carry the groceries?

Implicit Validation
Validation through behavior
Example: Giving someone a box of tissues when
they are crying or giving someone an umbrella
when they are in the rain

Levels of Validation
Level 1: Pay attention: Look interested (Being mindful of the other person,
demonstrating that you are listening one-mindfully! No texting while
talking!)
Level 2: Accurate reflection: No judgmental language, say back what you
have heard to ensure that you understand
Level 3: Read Minds: Be sensitive to what is not being said, check in
Example: It's finals week and your child says that they have three papers to write and
two finals. You respond by saying, "Wow - you must be really overwhelmed"

Level 4: Normalize given historical events: Validate based on the person's

history, past experiences
Example: "Given what happened, it makes sense that you are hesitant to adopt a dog"

Level 5: Normalize given current circumstances: Explain how the individual's

thinking is valid because they fit the current facts or are understandable
because it is a logical response to an event
Example: "It's normal to be nervous before a job interview"

Level 6: Radical Genuineness: Be genuine. How you would respond to an

equal
Example: "That sounds horribly awkward."

"The Validation Game"

One participant chooses a scenario to be

validated on and another participant
validates using one of the six levels of
validation. The other participants guess
which level of validation was used!