Coaching Skills for Educators

Marjorie Shore M.S.W.

Coaching Skills for Educators

Prepared for the

The Coaching Institute for Literacy and Numeracy Leaders

August 23, 2006

Marjorie Shore M.S.W. The Coaching Clinic margie@coachingclinic.com 416-787-5555 www.coachingclinic.com/tcc

Learning Objectives
  

Enhance Leadership Ability Review Coaching Skills Key skills

  

Coaching Relationship Process Communication, building trust and rapport, listening skills, approach and technique, influencing and directing

Leading vs. Managing

 

Leading Aim is positive change



 

Managing Aim is predictable, orderly results

    

 

Setting direction Aligning people to vision Motivating Coaching

Organizing Staffing Planning Budgeting Solving problems

Managers are responsible for implementing a plan. Leaders grow the dream and enroll people to help achieve it.

Focus on your Goals



If we were meeting here three years from today and all was going very well in your coaching role, how would you describe your vision of you as a coach. Describe what you see as if through the lens of a camera.

Definitions: Coaching, Counseling, Mentoring, & Training



Coaching focuses on improving skills.



can address issues of know how, know when, know why, motivation, time, distraction, priorities, support.

Counseling is coaching that focuses on peace of mind. Mentoring is coaching about career and relationships with people and the organization. Training is skill building from the ground up.

"Coaching is cultivation, like gardening" Peter Senge

Coaching is Cultivation


Peter Senge asks organizations to operate like gardens rather than like machines. We need to move to a gardening model: cultivate and grow people rather than fix them. Coaching is the gardening tool to cultivate skills.

"A man sooner or later discovers that he is the mastergardener of his soul, the director of his life." James Allen

Group Exercise A
 

Break into groups. Work in your groups to define



Seven features of a good coaching relationship.

Think about coaches you have admired.

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of." Unknown

Group Exercise B
 

Break into groups. Work in your groups to define



Seven habits, qualities, attributes or traits of a good coach.

Think about coaches you have admired.

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of." Unknown

Group Exercise C
 

Break into groups. Work in your groups to define the process of coaching


The five step process of how a coaching relationship unfolds over time; what happens first, then the rest of the sequence

"I don' like that man. I'm going to have to get to know him better." Abraham Lincoln

25 of the Things Coaches Do

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

Beacon Radar Alarm Clock Patient Flexible Honest SelfPerception Confront Sell Help Push Envelope Motivate Cheerlead Optimistic Subject Expert

14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25.

Director Helping Hand Hear Venting Gardener Notice Success Honest Confident Consistent Mindful Guide Mirror Evolutionary Elder

The Coach in You



Current Strengths
      

Opportunities
      

The Story of Rose



List the five characters in order of most favorite to least favorite and be prepared to defend your choice. 1. Rose 2. Jon 3. Peter 4. Dan 5. George

Review of Listening Skills

1. Be physically attentive 2. Participate to acknowledge youve heard 3. Acknowledge feelings or transition opportunities 4. Ask thoughtful questions

Five Ways to Communicate Better

1. 2. 3.

4.

Consider compromise. Another person's view of reality may be as real as your own. Never assume that you know what the other person is thinking, or what they have done. Check out your assumptions.

Ask questions. Do not correct another's statement of his/her feelings.

5.

Be specific when you introduce a comment.

Five More Ways to Communicate Better

6. 7.

8.

9.

10.

Ask for a reasonable change. Try substituting "and" for "but".  "But" tends to negate anything that went before.  "And" includes both sides of the statement. Ensure that your body language is congruent with your message. When receiving constructive feedback consider it carefully and with a balanced approach. Remember that others opinions of you are not always true

Coaching Process One Model

1. Prepare in advance: requirements, opportunities, motivations, history 2. Agree on goals 3. Be a map-maker; Get commitments  discuss motivations and opportunities,  define process  set time guidelines  create a contract 4. Coach  Pick time & space carefully  Build rapport & trust  Provide challenge  Use action based language; who, what, when  Build positive expectations  Encourage generously  Celebrate success 5. Review & Decide Next Steps

Coaching Process One Model

1. Prepare in advance
     

requirements, opportunities, motivations, history gather information separately and together

Coaching Process One Model

2. Agree on goals


  

SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant & timely. Conditions brought about by action. Small & large outcomes. Gaps to be filled. Know what success will look like.

Coaching Process One Model

3. Be a map-maker


Plan the route in advance; determining the milestones;

To help steer towards the goals To park tangents

    

Get commitments Discuss motivations and opportunities, Define process Set timelines Create a contract, if required

Coaching Process One Model

4. Coach  Pick your time and space.


Coach privately away from distractions and interruptions. Get conversation going with small or soft talk Clarify roles Promise an absence of vulnerability Listen; ask questions, paraphrase, acknowledge

Build rapport


Build trust
  

Coaching Process One Model



Provide challenge
 

Ask the coachee to reach. Create levels of success, between perfection and failure, that can be rewarded. Who is to act? What will they do?
Be precise. Describe what a camera would see.

Use action based language.



 

With what frequency & duration? At what intervals?

Coaching Process One Model



Build positive expectations.



Jointly determine barriers and how to overcome each. Continually focus on potential positive results. Offer ideas, know how, wisdom, experience, stories, direction

Cultivate


Motivate with encouragement

Coaching Process One Model

5. Review and Decide Next Steps
  

Measure progress toward goals at scheduled intervals Adjust the plan/map as necessary Celebrate

Dissolve the relationship when appropriate.

  

Mutually With loose ends tied With a method to re-start

Communicating: Six Things You Can Do to Build Trusting Relationships

1.

2. 3.

4. 5. 6.

Create an absence of vulnerability, a cone of safety. Show confidence. Appreciate individual skills and success. Show up on time. Do what you say you will. Dont use dont. Do use do.

Generational Differences in Motivators



Motivators tend to be generation based. What do we know about motivating the different generations?

Where the Generations Clash: Motivation

Who Want
Veterans Satisfaction of job well done Boomers Money, title, corner office Generation X Freedom, security Nexus Work that has meaning for them
Source: When Generations Collide, Lancaster and Stillman

Tools for coaching



What to do when you dont know what to do!

Taking Control

Control the things you can control so you can effectively manage the things you cant control

Personal Power Grid

Cant control

Control

Act

Situation mastery

Ceasele ss striving Letting go

Don t Act

Giving up

What Can You Control?

    

Your Your Your Your Your

Attitude Vision Energy Level Response to Stress Space

Letting Go Possibilities


 

Mental beliefs; opinions, expectations, obsessions Physically; active process of relaxation Emotionally; anger, fear, guilt Behaviorally; change habits that dont help

Letting Go Examples


need to be perfect owning responsibility



vs. taking responsibility

  

  

need to be liked by everyone cant say no do everything yourself

doing what doesnt work never ending thinking anger guilt physical tightness wanting so much

Personal Power Grid: Case Studies

1.

You have made arrangements with a friend. You had to rearrange your schedule in order to meet your commitment to the friend. Fifteen minutes before the time you were to meet, the friend calls to say that they cant make it, something came up at work. This is the 3rd time in 3 months this has happened. What do you do? Your supervisor is demanding and has high expectations. They never provide feedback or praise. They always find whats missing. You also have high standards but never seem to meet their expectations. What do you do?

2.

The Personal Power Grid Exercise

1. Write about a situation that you are struggling with that fits into the grid. 2. What part of the struggle is in your control? 3. What action can you take to move into Situation Mastery: Action orientation? 4. What action can you take to move into Situation Mastery: Letting Go? 5. What action can you take to leave this in Ceaseless Striving or Giving Up.

Closing Thought
It is not the strongest species that will survive but that which has the greatest capacity to adapt.
Charles Darwin

Thank You!
Marjorie Shore
The Coaching Clinic
416-787-5555 margie@coachingclinic.com www.coachingclinic.com/tcc

Appendices
1. 2.

3.

Eight Donts of Coaching Features of Coaching Relationships The Habits, Qualities, Attributes and Traits of a Good Coach

Eight Donts of Coaching



Dont use taxi talk Dont be ambiguous Dont try for giant steps Dont allow transference Dont be a devils advocate

Dont do the work for the person being coached Dont stick to original goals when better goals emerge Dont focus only on performance, focus on the person as well

Eight Donts of Coaching



Dont use taxi talk.



Taxi talk is aimless assessments, observations, judgments and opinions. Stick with action talk; e.g. who does what, by when. Avoid vague, non-specific wording and phrases that are easily misunderstood.

Dont be ambiguous


Eight Donts of Coaching



Dont try for giant steps.



Youll get there faster with a series of baby steps. Each successful step will produce motivating energy Recognize the individuality of the person being coached. They are not you. Consider what actions they can take. Dont project your abilities on them.

Dont allow transference.



Eight Donts of Coaching



Dont be a devils advocate.

 

Look for and emphasize the positive. Recognize failure as learning and create new action ideas

Dont do the work for the person being coached.

 

The coach imparts wisdom. Together the coach and person being coached think, shape, invent, decide . .. The person being coached takes the action steps.

Features of Coaching Relationships

Specific Opportunistic Time sensitive Supportive Motivating Objective Apolitical Performance oriented Supports corporate competencies A leveraging strategy

Features of Coaching Relationships



Specific


Coaching can focus on what is needed most. Coaching can produce beneficial effects right now. Coaching can be delivered just in time. When it is needed, not too soon or too late. Coaches motivate via stimulation, inspiration and persistence.

Opportunistic


Time sensitive


Motivating


Features of Coaching Relationships



Supportive


Coaches help the person they are coaching use existing skills better. Coaching ought to be an objective outside point of view. The coachs experience helps them to see the opportunity with more clarity. Coaching focuses on specifics i.e. just enough learning to help the right people people make precise changes.

Objective
 

A leveraging strategy


Features of Coaching Relationships



Apolitical


Coaching can occur outside the normal office atmosphere. Coaching focuses on finding or prescribing just the right actions the person being coached can take to change conditions.

Oriented to performance


Supportive of corporate competencies



Coaching is a tactic to cultivate specified competencies.

The Habits, Qualities, Attributes and Traits of a Good Coach Evolutionary elder Partner Champion Guide Reality checker Visionary Director Radar Beacon

The Habits, Qualities, Attributes and Traits of a Good Coach



Evolutionary elder


The coach has more experience and know how than the person being coached. Coach can be a sounding board for ideas. Coach benefits when the person being coached achieves. Coach leads the supporting cheers.

Partner


Champion


The Habits, Qualities, Attributes and Traits of a Good Coach



Guide


Coach shows the person being coached the right steps to take, which pitfalls to avoid. Coach helps person being coached evaluate progress towards goals. Coach (and person being coached) envision what success would look like.

Reality checker


Visionary


The Habits, Qualities, Attributes and Traits of a Good Coach



Director


Coach directs person being coached as to what actions to take. Uses phrases like try this . . .. Coach often can see & understand what the person being coached cannot. Coach can sometimes sound an early warning.

Radar


Beacon